John Assaraf on Unlocking Your Brain's Full Potential with Lewis Howes

Lewis Howes 0:00 [upbeat music]

Lewis Howes 0:04 Welcome everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about our guest, John Assaraf, in the house. Thank you so much for being here, my man.

John Assaraf 0:10 Hey, hey.

Lewis Howes 0:10 I appreciate it.

John Assaraf 0:11 Great to be here.

Lewis Howes 0:11 You are one of the leading mindset experts and coaches in the world, and, uh, you're a couple New York Time bestsellers. You've been doing business for a long time. You've been on Larry King, I don't know, 50 times. You've been on every major media, uh, press outlet there is. You've done some incredible things and, uh, I'm really glad you made it on the show.

John Assaraf 0:30 You know what? I, I love being here. I see the work that you're doing-

Lewis Howes 0:33 Yeah

John Assaraf 0:33 ... in the world, and you know, one of my goals is to inspire and touch the lives of a billion people.

Lewis Howes 0:38 Hmm.

John Assaraf 0:39 But it's not directly through me.

Lewis Howes 0:42 Right.

John Assaraf 0:42 Right? So it's through the people that I come into contact with.

Lewis Howes 0:45 Sure.

John Assaraf 0:45 And you're doing some kick-ass work. I love it.

Lewis Howes 0:47 I appreciate it.

John Assaraf 0:48 And, uh, it's great to just, uh, to share the, the mic with you.

Lewis Howes 0:51 Yeah, of course.

John Assaraf 0:52 And, uh-

Lewis Howes 0:52 I appreciate it

John Assaraf 0:52 ... yeah.

Lewis Howes 0:53 We, we connected... I guess we've... I've known about you for a long time, but we connected, I don't know, uh, maybe a year ago, 6 to 12 months ago, through a meeting that you did up here, and I think that was the first time we met in person, right?

John Assaraf 1:03 Yeah. Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:03 But we'd been connected via email before then. And, uh, I remember hearing about you from The Secret days.

John Assaraf 1:08 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:08 I think that was the first time, and I think where a lot of people know about you, at least in my space, probably is from those days. But you were, uh, you'd been working for a long time before then. That was what, 10 years ago, The Secret, or...?

John Assaraf 1:19 2008.

Lewis Howes 1:20 My gosh.

John Assaraf 1:21 Yeah, it's like unbelievable.

Lewis Howes 1:22 Eight years ago, right? Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:23 Yeah. Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:23 Wow.

John Assaraf 1:24 Un- unbelievable. My, my, uh, my son, Keenan, you know, at the time, you know, was, was still, you know, just in his early teens, [laughs] and he's, you know, almost graduated college now.

Lewis Howes 1:34 Wow.

John Assaraf 1:35 So.

Lewis Howes 1:35 Would you, would you say that that movie and documentary was a, a, kind of a tipping point for you? Or were you already doing a lot and you had the reach you wanted before then and that was just kinda the icing on the cake, or what did that do for you?

John Assaraf 1:47 Well, it's interesting, but, uh, I've just built companies my whole life.

Lewis Howes 1:50 Right. [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:50 And, um, and so I have been involved in the personal development, you know-

Lewis Howes 1:55 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:55 ... gathering wisdom, knowledge, skills, tools, resources from people who've just done what I wanna do.

Lewis Howes 2:02 Yeah.

John Assaraf 2:02 So I, I, I really just learned from masters.

Lewis Howes 2:05 Yeah.

John Assaraf 2:06 And so I was never really in the personal development field. You know, my last company or two companies ago, I took, uh, took it public on Nasdaq, retired in, um, 2000-

Lewis Howes 2:17 Wow

John Assaraf 2:17 ... and then wrote a book in 2003 called Having It All, and it became a New York Times bestseller.

Lewis Howes 2:22 Hmm.

John Assaraf 2:22 And I was retired, so I d- I wasn't working.

Lewis Howes 2:23 Right.

John Assaraf 2:24 I just wanted to share the knowledge and share what I had learned about, uh, you know, 20-plus years in personal development, going to every seminar, reading-

Lewis Howes 2:31 For sure

John Assaraf 2:31 ... you know, thousands of books, buying CDs, courses, hiring coaches, consultants.

Lewis Howes 2:35 What's a CD?

John Assaraf 2:36 Oh, that's right. What's a CD back then? [laughs]

Lewis Howes 2:38 [laughs] Yeah.

John Assaraf 2:39 You had the little cassettes.

Lewis Howes 2:40 [laughs]

John Assaraf 2:41 You're thinking, "What's a CD?" That's right. It's like cassettes, CDs-

Lewis Howes 2:43 Yeah, exactly

John Assaraf 2:43 ... and now it's, like, just digital.

Lewis Howes 2:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Assaraf 2:45 And so I just wanted to share-

Lewis Howes 2:47 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 2:47 ... some of the things that, that I learned, the good, the bad, the ugly, the challenging, the embarrassing, the shameful.

Lewis Howes 2:52 Sure.

John Assaraf 2:53 You know, just be real with people of, um, what does it really take, right?

Lewis Howes 2:57 Yeah.

John Assaraf 2:57 And that's the thing I love about your work is, you know, you've been a professional athlete. You know the sacrifice it takes.

Lewis Howes 3:01 Yeah.

John Assaraf 3:02 Doesn't make a difference if you're, if you're the most gifted athlete in the world.

Lewis Howes 3:06 No.

John Assaraf 3:06 If you don't have the discipline and the work ethic-

Lewis Howes 3:08 You're not gonna make it

John Assaraf 3:09 ... uh, you're sitting on the bench.

Lewis Howes 3:10 You're not gonna make it.

John Assaraf 3:10 Yeah. You're sitting on the bench, and there's so many people that have so much potential, and it seems like they're standing on the edge of it-

Lewis Howes 3:18 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 3:18 ... instead of leaping into it.

Lewis Howes 3:20 Right.

John Assaraf 3:20 And so I just wanted to be a part of helping people. And in 2003, people started to ask me if I do events, and I said no. And then I had more people and more people ask if I do events. And so finally my wife said to me, "Why don't you just do one here at the house?" And so I remember it was, uh, like Jo- June, July 2003, and I had a, a blog at the time-

Lewis Howes 3:41 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 3:41 ... that I was writing about once a week. And I just said to people, "Hey, I'm thinking about doing a- an event at my house. 33 people, $3,000 for three days." And within a week, I, uh, people said, "Count me in."

Lewis Howes 3:54 Wow.

John Assaraf 3:55 So I did an event at my home, but nobody stayed there, but [laughs]

Lewis Howes 3:58 [laughs] Sure, sure.

John Assaraf 3:59 Um, and then people said, "Hey, you know, can we work with you, you know, to help us with growing our business, to help us with, uh, with our life?" And I said, "Well, I, I don't travel. If you wanna work with me, you have to come here, or we have to get on the phones, you know, and talk." And so I had, you know, three, four people say, "Yeah. Great."

Lewis Howes 4:16 Hmm.

John Assaraf 4:16 "Help me." And so I started to help people.

Lewis Howes 4:18 Right.

John Assaraf 4:18 And I was like, "Wow, this is really fun."

Lewis Howes 4:20 Yeah. [laughs]

John Assaraf 4:20 You know? Do what you wanna do from your home-

Lewis Howes 4:22 Yep

John Assaraf 4:23 ... right? Get paid to do it.

Lewis Howes 4:24 Yeah.

John Assaraf 4:24 Help a bunch of people. It doesn't get much better than that.

Lewis Howes 4:26 Yeah, get paid a lot of money. Yeah.

John Assaraf 4:27 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 4:28 Yeah.

John Assaraf 4:28 And so that really became the beginning of, of me getting into the personal development field.

Lewis Howes 4:33 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 4:33 And then seeing, how can I take the, the knowledge, the skills, the resources, the tools that I have acquired-

Lewis Howes 4:39 Right

John Assaraf 4:39 ... over the years and then just share it with the world?

Lewis Howes 4:42 Yeah. I mean, there's so many people that, uh, just get into personal development and build a business off of that, but for years you were building businesses and selling them-

John Assaraf 4:50 Yeah

Lewis Howes 4:50 ... and then you got into personal development. So you've been extremely successful and sustainable because you knew how to run businesses-

John Assaraf 4:56 Yeah

Lewis Howes 4:56 ... in this, and that's why you continue to grow.

John Assaraf 4:58 Well, the, uh, business is, is, uh, the fundamentals.

Lewis Howes 5:01 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 5:01 You know, being healthy, fundamentals.

Lewis Howes 5:03 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 5:03 You know, having great relationship, fundamentals. It's not rocket science, but it is a science.

Lewis Howes 5:07 Right. [laughs]

John Assaraf 5:07 And if you understand the science, then, you know, and you take action, then you can achieve the success you want-

Lewis Howes 5:12 Yeah

John Assaraf 5:12 ... just about in anything.

Lewis Howes 5:13 Yeah. What do you think is holding people back from growing a business, starting and growing a business to a certain level?

John Assaraf 5:19 Well, initially, what holds them back is fear. So fear of failure, fear of success and then failure, fear of disappointment, fear of being embarrassed, fear of being ashamed, fear of being guilty, fear of losing money, fear of-

Lewis Howes 5:30 Yeah

John Assaraf 5:30 ... filling them out. There's over 50 different types of fear that holds most people back, but they're unaware of it. It's like a, a silent, hidden enemy that's locked deep in their non-conscious brain. This is the area that, that, you know, I study. This is my life's work now, is understanding what actually drives the perceptions that people have about themselves and what's possible for them to achieve, and what's the difference between somebody says, "Yes, I, you know, I want it. I believe I can have it. I believe I could do it." But then there's another voice that they listen to more that says, "But you're not smart enough." But you're not good enough. But what if you fail? What if you succeed? So there's, there's voices in our head that most people have not learned how to really just pay attention to because the, this, the voices that you hear, the thoughts that you're having, the conscious ones and even the non-conscious ones that percolate up to consciousness, if you pay attention, you can manage, you know, where they go- Right ... because that's what actually fires the electrical signal and the chemical response that drives behavior. Mm. And most people don't understand, you know, it's like a spark plug. One spark plug, you know, turns the car on and you can push the gas and go. The other spark plug basically turns the car off and your brake is on. Most people don't think of their body, their mind as a system- Mm ... that they actually own. And so we haven't been given the user's manual for that. So fear is one, uh, but then it's all the non-conscious conditioning that prevents people from, from, uh, taking the actions that are needed. Sure. Like what are the conditioning that most people have, the non-conscious ones? Well, a lot of- It's from what we've learned from our parents- Yeah ... and from peers. If we, if we, if we think about the era that our parents lived, okay? Um, Great Depression. Yeah. Right? Um, very, very hard to make money, very, very hard to find resources, very, very f- hard to, to do anything unless you're a professional. So our parents said to most of us, "If you don't become a professional, uh, you're gonna struggle. You're gonna struggle and suffer." And- Mm ... even the professionals said, "Okay, so become a professional and here's your ceiling of what you have." So we became conditioned to be worried of scarcity i- in a world that has no scarcity. We became conditioned to having certain beliefs about what's possible or not possible. So even now, you know, as we, as we, you know, we're sitting here and we've got this, you know, amazing election time. Crazy. You know, one of the things I've been thinking about is, you know, there are some people that believe that if Donald Trump wins, they're gonna make a fortune, and there's other people that think they're gonna lose everything. And I have a friend of mine who has got about $70 million in the bank that believes that if Hillary gets into office, he's gonna lose millions. Wow. It's gonna be really tough. And what really is, you know, going on in people's heads, it's, it's all of their references, their beliefs and their perceptions that are locked away in the implicit part of their brain that is driving those thoughts and even- Mm ... the behaviors. They may not even be aware of it. They're not even aware of it, yeah. Yeah. They can be, but they're, may not be. And so what we really have to go back to to focus on is it really makes no difference who becomes president or who doesn't. Mm-hmm. If you have the belief that regardless of what happens in your external world, you can navigate towards the success that you want. Right. That's a belief, and beliefs are the lens by which we actually see the world and by which we behave. And so if you wanna change your results, don't focus on changing your behaviors. Change your focus on the beliefs that drive your behaviors. Mm. Right? Powerful. Yeah, and so the, the next question though is, "Well, great, where, what kind of- How do you change your beliefs? ... beliefs do I have?" Yeah. Right, so, well, well, we have two types of beliefs, and this is, this is where it can get a little bit, you know, uh, heady, and that is, you know, when you start talking about my brain. Mm. It's an organ. It's like your heart is an organ. You can speed up your heart, you can slow down your heart. You can, you know, speed up the w- brainwaves in your brain, you can slow them down. You can tune in, you

John Assaraf 9:32 can tune out. Yeah. We haven't been given the user's manual for the most powerful tool- They don't teach us this in school ... that we're aware of. Yes. That's right. And so the great news, you know, I know you being an athlete and a successful businessman, you have discipline. Yes. You cannot- [laughs] You can't achieve results ... achieve results without some kind of discipline. Exactly. And so we know that there's some fundamental truths- Mm ... to achieving success, and every successful person will tell you, you know, and Jim Rohn is... I know you, you love Jim Rohn. Sure. So you either pay, pay the price of discipline or you pay the price of regret. Mm. Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. [laughs] That's good. But the, the thing is, can you teach discipline? The answer is yes. Mm. How? You have to have a willing participant. Mm. And if the participant's reason why is big enough, if they know I want to achieve X- Mm-hmm ... and the reason why, the motive for their action, motivation, the motive for their action is a reason beyond just themselves- Mm ... chances are they will do more- Yeah ... to achieve that success than if it was just left up to their own. But there are some people that are born, you know, with incredible drive. They just have this insatiable drive, and they'll just, "I'll do whatever it takes for the things that I want." And there's other people that want things, but they just don't have this insatiable drive. And this is where, you know, I, as much as I hated school- Mm ... I love to use school as an analogy. Yeah. In the game of life, whether it's health, wealth, relationships, career, business, spirituality, fun experiences, you have to decide what level of the game do I wanna play at. Mm-hmm. Is it the grade school level, the kindergarten level, the high school level, the university level, the pro level? 'Cause each one of those levels requires a totally different mindset and totally different skill set. Mm. They're building blocks on each other, but if you are extremely talented, but you're not prepared to practice and rehearse and drill and fall and fail forward to the next attempt, you will never make it as a pro. You will never make it as a pro businessperson, you'll never make it as a pro husband or wife- Mm ... or athlete or musician. You just never will. So just get used to that if you're not prepared to pay the price. If you are prepared to pay the price and you have the aptitude and the talent- Mm ... now we're talking about there's some real potential here. And what we don't know is, you know, what's in your heart? Like, what is the fire that stirs you that, that- Yeah ... you wake up saying, "I will do this even when I don't feel like it. I will do whatever it takes to overcome my temptation for mediocracy, my temptation for excuses, my temptation for, um, reasons and circumstances to hold me back. I won't allow those to be in my way." Mm. And if you have that within you- [clears throat] ... you'll achieve whatever you choose. Right. And so the question you asked before is, how do you develop that? Start small.

Lewis Howes 12:21 Yeah.

John Assaraf 12:22 Start small. So if you don't have discipline, show to your- show yourself that you can give yourself one command and one follow through. So you know what? Um, right now I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna do two pushups. Right now. Not, not like later. Now.

Lewis Howes 12:38 Now.

John Assaraf 12:38 Can you give yourself a simple command, one sit-up? Right now I'm gonna go get a glass of water. You start with something ridiculous. I, I learned many years ago, reduce it to the ridiculous.

Lewis Howes 12:48 Hmm.

John Assaraf 12:49 So for reduce it to the ridiculous, and I start that, I say, "Can you do that? Great. Will you?" 'Cause that's the difference right there.

Lewis Howes 12:56 Hmm.

John Assaraf 12:56 Is that's the razor's edge.

Lewis Howes 12:58 Can you, yes-

John Assaraf 12:58 The people who can

Lewis Howes 12:59 ... but will you?

John Assaraf 12:59 Will you?

Lewis Howes 13:00 Yeah.

John Assaraf 13:00 Great. When?

Lewis Howes 13:01 Now.

John Assaraf 13:02 Now.

Lewis Howes 13:02 Yeah.

John Assaraf 13:02 Right? So if you develop that skill-

Lewis Howes 13:05 Hmm

John Assaraf 13:05 ... and specifically from a brain plasticity, a neuroplasticity perspective, as soon as you do that, you give yourself a command and you take the action, you have just created a neural pattern that you can give yourself a command and take action. Now, that may just be one time.

Lewis Howes 13:19 Hmm.

John Assaraf 13:19 But what if you did that every hour by putting a little bell on your computer? And every hour, like, if you were... If my computer was open, I'd have, um, every hour it, it would say, "It's 12 o'clock. It's 1 o'clock."

Lewis Howes 13:31 Really?

John Assaraf 13:31 And I'd take 60 seconds just to be in control of my mind.

Lewis Howes 13:35 Hmm.

John Assaraf 13:36 60 se- I don't care where I am.

Lewis Howes 13:37 You stop what you're doing.

John Assaraf 13:38 Stop, take six breaths-

Lewis Howes 13:39 Breathe

John Assaraf 13:39 ... just get, get, just get centered. Am I on track? Am I off track?

Lewis Howes 13:43 Hmm.

John Assaraf 13:43 Am I doing something I shouldn't be doing versus a high-impact activity that I need to be doing? Every hour I've trained myself to just reset. I didn't always do that, so I just started with one a day.

Lewis Howes 13:56 Right.

John Assaraf 13:57 Then two.

Lewis Howes 13:57 Sure.

John Assaraf 13:58 Then three. Then it was working so well I said, "Great, let's do this every hour." But more importantly is as soon as you become the person who believes in themselves, you see, everything you do or don't do leaves an imprint on your self-worth and self-esteem scale. And you know it.

Lewis Howes 14:18 Absolutely.

John Assaraf 14:18 You know it.

Lewis Howes 14:19 Yeah. Every time you have that cake or that cookie.

John Assaraf 14:21 Right.

Lewis Howes 14:22 You either believe in yourself or you don't believe in yourself.

John Assaraf 14:23 Right.

Lewis Howes 14:24 Yeah.

John Assaraf 14:24 Every time you're m- you're voting with every decision.

Lewis Howes 14:28 With actions, yeah.

John Assaraf 14:28 You're disqualifying with every negative belief. You're qualifying with every positive. Same with behaviors. So you start to get, uh, getting aware of, am I qualifying myself to move forward or am I disqualifying myself through what I say I want and what I do-

Lewis Howes 14:46 Hmm

John Assaraf 14:46 ... or don't do-

Lewis Howes 14:47 [clears throat]

John Assaraf 14:47 ... over and over and over again. Because thought patterns become emotional patterns which become behavioral patterns.

Lewis Howes 14:54 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 14:54 And our brains pick up on our thought, emotional, and behavioral patterns and says, "Hey, you know what? You've done that one enough. I'm just gonna make that automatic for you."

Lewis Howes 15:02 Right.

John Assaraf 15:02 So all of a sudden, you know, if you're a person that has lots of positive thoughts but you suck at taking action-

Lewis Howes 15:08 [laughs]

John Assaraf 15:08 ... your brain says, "Let me make that a permanent pattern for you so you don't have to think about it anymore. But I'm also gonna create some neural tension, and I'm gonna make you pissed off at yourself now. Now you're gonna start talking to yourself-

Lewis Howes 15:19 Yeah

John Assaraf 15:19 ... about how you don't want to not take action, but you're still taking action."

Lewis Howes 15:22 Hmm.

John Assaraf 15:23 And this is where we have this conscious, non-conscious ping pong match going on all the time.

Lewis Howes 15:28 Complex.

John Assaraf 15:29 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 15:29 Complex.

John Assaraf 15:30 It's actually complex, but it's actually pretty easy, too.

Lewis Howes 15:32 Hmm. So if someone's listening right now and they're thinking, "You know, there's a lot of things I want, you know. I wanna get out of this relationship," or, "I want the relationship. I wanna have better health. I wanna have more money," whatever-

John Assaraf 15:42 Sure

Lewis Howes 15:42 ... it may be, and they've been saying that for years, and they feel like they've been consuming all the information they need to have, but they haven't been able to take action maybe 'cause their why isn't powerful enough, what would you say should be their first step?

John Assaraf 15:53 Well, the first step is to take one thing. I'm gonna go back to one thing-

Lewis Howes 15:58 Yeah

John Assaraf 15:58 ... and say, "Great, let me move one thing forward." Why? Because that just changes the trajectory of the same pattern repeating itself.

Lewis Howes 16:08 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 16:08 And as soon as you interrupt a pattern, and then you repeatedly interrupt the pattern, it's like taking a detour, and as soon as you take a detour one day, you're gonna be like, "Okay, that was, that was okay."

Lewis Howes 16:21 Right.

John Assaraf 16:21 But you tended, your tendency is to wanna go back to what's comfortable. But if you take the detour two days, six days, seven days, we know from a neuroscience perspective it takes about 66 days to create a solid enough neural pattern that it'll go from conscious effort and thinking about it to a non-conscious pattern that has the beginnings of automaticity-

Lewis Howes 16:42 Hmm

John Assaraf 16:42 ... happening without your involvement. You're just doing it.

Lewis Howes 16:46 Yeah.

John Assaraf 16:46 And so for me, what I do, and for myself, is I, uh, whenever I wanna change something, whether it's a habit, whether it's a thought or emotion or a behavior, I say, "I'm gonna work on this for 100 days." Not 30 days, not 21 days, not 66-

Lewis Howes 17:02 Hmm

John Assaraf 17:02 ... which is right around there. I say 100 days.

Lewis Howes 17:05 Yeah.

John Assaraf 17:06 And then I focus all of my energy just on that one thing for 100 days. Why?

Lewis Howes 17:10 Can you give an example of something you've done recently?

John Assaraf 17:12 Sugar.

Lewis Howes 17:13 Sugar.

John Assaraf 17:13 Sugar.

Lewis Howes 17:14 I'm sure.

John Assaraf 17:14 I'm a, I'm a sugar-

Lewis Howes 17:15 Me too.

John Assaraf 17:16 Al- I'm a sugar... Like, if you as an alcoholic, I'm a sugaraholic.

Lewis Howes 17:19 Me too [laughs] .

John Assaraf 17:19 Right?

Lewis Howes 17:20 It's so bad.

John Assaraf 17:21 Yeah. So I, I go, like, you know, a week, two weeks, no sugar.

Lewis Howes 17:24 Yep.

John Assaraf 17:24 Then a month I eat dessert every night.

Lewis Howes 17:26 [laughs]

John Assaraf 17:26 That's it [laughs] for the 90 days.

Lewis Howes 17:28 Me too. I'm like-

John Assaraf 17:29 You know, like a cake and cookie and, and five of them a day. And then, and then-

Lewis Howes 17:33 [laughs] The same way. I can be very disciplined, but it's either way.

John Assaraf 17:35 Yeah. I'm extreme, I'm an extremist as well.

Lewis Howes 17:37 [laughs]

John Assaraf 17:37 Right? So it's all or nothing.

Lewis Howes 17:38 Yeah.

John Assaraf 17:39 High or off.

Lewis Howes 17:39 Yeah, yeah.

John Assaraf 17:39 There's, like, no, no in between, right?

Lewis Howes 17:41 [laughs] You have one, you have a ten.

John Assaraf 17:43 Yeah. I don't, I, I don't have one cookie. If there's only one cookie-

Lewis Howes 17:47 [laughs]

John Assaraf 17:47 ... I go, "No. Can I have, like, six or seven more?" [laughs]

Lewis Howes 17:50 Get the whole box.

John Assaraf 17:50 My cookie bills, my cookie bills at hotels are $21, not 3.

Lewis Howes 17:54 [laughs] So you keep replenishing them.

John Assaraf 17:57 Keep... Yeah.

Lewis Howes 17:58 Oh, man.

John Assaraf 17:59 So, so you take one thing.

Lewis Howes 18:00 Yeah.

John Assaraf 18:00 Just one thing that you know may be a little challenging.

Lewis Howes 18:04 100 days.

John Assaraf 18:04 100 days. Just 100 days.

Lewis Howes 18:06 Ooh.

John Assaraf 18:06 So let's say you wanna drink more water. 100 days, a glass a day. ... conscious effort to one a day. Whatever you did before, you'll still do, but one glass a day. So, you know, I started that with my assistant. I said, "I, I wanna drink, you know, like four of these a day."

Lewis Howes 18:20 Right.

John Assaraf 18:21 You know, like, you know, 32 ounces, whatever the case is. And so every... We got a mug, and it's on my desk every time I walk in.

Lewis Howes 18:28 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 18:28 And then I have some support from her, saying, "Hey, remember to drink your water."

Lewis Howes 18:31 Interesting.

John Assaraf 18:31 So just do it. So the first, you know, two, three weeks, I feel like I'm gonna drown myself in so much water.

Lewis Howes 18:35 [laughs]

John Assaraf 18:36 Um, but then it's like, "Okay, now I'm used to it."

Lewis Howes 18:39 Yeah.

John Assaraf 18:39 Now I'm drinking as much water as possible-

Lewis Howes 18:41 Mm

John Assaraf 18:41 ... 'cause the habit is there. And one of the rules that I love to follow is the habit is more important than the intensity at first.

Lewis Howes 18:49 Hmm.

John Assaraf 18:50 So don't worry about the intensity.

Lewis Howes 18:52 Right.

John Assaraf 18:52 Develop the habit. So can you take one minute a day to focus on how you will achieve a goal? Just one minute a day. Can you take one minute a day to focus on your health? Yeah. Can you take one day-

Lewis Howes 19:04 Hmm

John Assaraf 19:04 ... to retrain your brain? Yeah. Can I take one day, f- f- you know, or one action a day?

Lewis Howes 19:11 Right.

John Assaraf 19:12 And you start off with something, you know, and reduce it down to just a minute or two minutes or one behavior. If you can get that behavior to be a habit, it's easy to stack.

Lewis Howes 19:23 Right, of course.

John Assaraf 19:24 It's just like the foundation of a building.

Lewis Howes 19:26 Sure.

John Assaraf 19:26 Once you have the foundation, if you build it right, you stack.

Lewis Howes 19:30 Yeah.

John Assaraf 19:31 And so every good discipline affects another, and every bad discipline-

Lewis Howes 19:35 Hmm

John Assaraf 19:35 ... affects others.

Lewis Howes 19:37 What do you think about when you have a bad day or when you have a bad moment where you react and you're not on your game, where you're calm in a frustrating moment, or someone on your team does something you don't want, or traffic or whatever? What... How do you process that?

John Assaraf 19:51 Um, through-

Lewis Howes 19:51 Do you have bad days?

John Assaraf 19:52 Yeah. Yeah, I have, um, not, not days. I have bad-

Lewis Howes 19:56 Moments

John Assaraf 19:56 ... events. There's... When, when, when we're... I wanna separate, like, behaviors and emotions.

Lewis Howes 20:03 Hmm.

John Assaraf 20:04 So usually when people say they're having, they're having a bad day, sure, certain things may have gone wrong or something that they tried to do, you know, didn't work out.

Lewis Howes 20:13 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 20:14 All information and experiences are processed at the non-conscious brain first, and then it gives rise to something we call a feeling. So emotions are processed non-consciously. The electrical and chemical reaction to that is called a feeling. So when I'm not feeling the way that I want to feel-

Lewis Howes 20:36 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 20:36 ... I don't focus on the feeling. I focus on the cause, the neuroelectrical charge that's occurred in my brain. And in most cases, it's something that you're doing to interpret an event that's causing the neuroelectrical signal causing the feeling. So in meditation, for example, why, why do you meditate? Well, obviously, it's great for a whole host of, of health reasons-

Lewis Howes 21:02 Yeah

John Assaraf 21:02 ... whether it's, um, it's, uh, less stress, less, uh, you know, lower blood pressure, uh, uh, less cortisol release, et cetera. But the one thing meditation does more than anything else is it gives you the ability to have a pause of awareness so that you sense what's happening at the non-conscious level-

Lewis Howes 21:24 Right

John Assaraf 21:25 ... and what's happening outside of you. So when somebody behaves a certain way, it's processed at the non-conscious level, gives rise to your conscious mind for you to respond. And so when something happens, I like to be able to check in so that I don't react-

Lewis Howes 21:44 Hmm

John Assaraf 21:44 ... and I have the ability to respond. And if you do that enough through mindfulness, being aware-

Lewis Howes 21:51 Hmm

John Assaraf 21:51 ... just being aware of exactly what's going on, then you have fewer and fewer of those times. So, you know, uh, uh, something happened last week. I was, uh, in a hotel room, and I spilled some water on a shirt that I needed, um-

Lewis Howes 22:05 Hmm

John Assaraf 22:06 ... for a wedding that we were going to. And my wife goes, "Oh, fuck, da, da, da, da, da." She was going off deep end, and I was just calm.

Lewis Howes 22:12 Yeah.

John Assaraf 22:13 And she goes, "Aren't you worried about this?" I said, "Will it help?"

Lewis Howes 22:15 [laughs] Right.

John Assaraf 22:17 Like, "No, let's just figure out what to do." The accident already happened.

Lewis Howes 22:21 Mm-hmm. Why are we so wired to react in situations-

John Assaraf 22:25 Um-

Lewis Howes 22:25 ... as opposed to be calm and say, "Well, this, this reaction is not gonna serve a solution"?

John Assaraf 22:30 Well, we have a misunderstanding of flow of information and the way information is processed. And so the reaction happens, again, at the reptilian non-conscious level.

Lewis Howes 22:43 Yeah.

John Assaraf 22:43 So every external stimuli, if you, if you get into some of the brain, which again, is my, is my passion, is, um... One of my friends is Dr. Evian Gordon, kind of with a great model. He says, you know, "The number one thing to understand about the brain is safety and comfort first." Right? So in the environment that you're in, whether you like it or you don't is irrelevant. Your brain finds that comfortable because it's the homeostasis.

Lewis Howes 23:05 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 23:05 But safety first. So any loud noise, any type of, uh, real or imagined, present or future pain-

Lewis Howes 23:15 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 23:15 ... based on the interpretation at the non-conscious level gives rise to automatic feelings. So the signal is sent from the reptilian or lizard brain to the emotional brain, and it's only later logically understood if we take the time to-

Lewis Howes 23:34 To be aware of it

John Assaraf 23:35 ... be aware of it.

Lewis Howes 23:35 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 23:36 And so-

Lewis Howes 23:36 That's why people react so much in traffic instantly.

John Assaraf 23:38 That's right.

Lewis Howes 23:39 Instant reactions.

John Assaraf 23:39 Yeah. But, but here's something you could do quickly. It's, it's called a, a reframe. So, so let's say you're driving in traffic, and let's say somebody cuts you off, and you've been sitting at the same spot for, you know, 20 minutes like I did this morning.

Lewis Howes 23:50 [laughs]

John Assaraf 23:51 And somebody... You know, you're, you're maybe looking down at your cell phone 'cause you have some time 'cause you're parked [laughs] on the highway.

Lewis Howes 23:56 [laughs]

John Assaraf 23:57 Right? And, um, somebody cuts you off. So you could automatically react, go, "Son of a bitch, I can't believe he just did that," and just use all of this energy-

Lewis Howes 24:04 Hmm

John Assaraf 24:05 ... the cortisol, epinephrine, adrenaline that's flowing through your body and causing stress in your body. Or you can say, "Well, what if that person just found out their dog died, and they're really trying to get home quickly?"

Lewis Howes 24:15 Hmm.

John Assaraf 24:16 You go, "Okay, I guess it's okay if she or he cut in front of me."

Lewis Howes 24:19 Right.

John Assaraf 24:20 Or they just got a call from their mother, their mother fell.

Lewis Howes 24:23 Yeah.

John Assaraf 24:24 Would you change the way you felt about it? And the answer is, yeah, probably.

Lewis Howes 24:27 Mm.

John Assaraf 24:28 And the reason, because you changed the frame. So you can learn how to create frames for yourself of how you see the world, how you see failure, how you see effort, how you see your habits, how you s-

Lewis Howes 24:38 Mm

John Assaraf 24:38 ... create frames in advance that actually serve you-

Lewis Howes 24:42 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 24:42 ... through awareness and response versus reactivity.

Lewis Howes 24:46 Yeah.

John Assaraf 24:47 And that is what a lot of people who, for example, I'm gonna go back to professional athlete. What do you learn how to do? Respond-

Lewis Howes 24:55 Mm

John Assaraf 24:55 ... in a variety of different ways in advance or through practice-

Lewis Howes 24:59 Yeah

John Assaraf 24:59 ... so that when it's game time, you're just unconsciously doing what you do.

Lewis Howes 25:04 Yeah, especially like, um, you know, I used to react a lot. Whenever I felt like anyone was attacking me physically or verbally on the, on the game, in the game, I used to react and wanna beat people up and hit people-

John Assaraf 25:16 Yeah

Lewis Howes 25:16 ... and respond. If I got hit in a weird way, I would always wanna have the last say, right, the last hit. And my coaches would always train me because I would always get flagged. The person who's the second person is the one who gets flagged-

John Assaraf 25:27 Right

Lewis Howes 25:27 ... not the first person who does the foul.

John Assaraf 25:29 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 25:30 And, um, so I started to train myself and visualize, "Okay, this is gonna happen in this game. Like, someone's gonna punch me in the nuts. Someone's gonna bite me."

John Assaraf 25:38 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 25:38 "Someone's gonna do this."

John Assaraf 25:39 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 25:39 "And I can either be calm and focus on the next play, or I can respond and have a penalty for our team."

John Assaraf 25:44 Right.

Lewis Howes 25:45 And I started to train my, my mind seeing it in the future-

John Assaraf 25:48 Right

Lewis Howes 25:48 ... as if it's always happening, and that really supported me in not reacting.

John Assaraf 25:52 And that's actually one of the best ways. It's, it's, it's a cognitive behavior therapy process-

Lewis Howes 25:57 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 25:57 ... where you practice in advance anything good or anything challenging. And what's really amazing, some of the latest research on goal achieving, is the ability, you know, uh, in the past I used to teach and also do, uh, visualize my goals. Whether it was my body, health, relationships, money, charity, whatever, I used to visualize the outcome. And some of the latest research now shows, um, in addition to visualizing the outcome, visualize the obstacles.

Lewis Howes 26:25 Mm.

John Assaraf 26:25 And in the past when we talk about this law of attraction, "No, don't visualize the obstacles, you attract them to..." No, no, no. Your brain's way smarter than that.

Lewis Howes 26:30 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 26:31 So if you have, whether it's a belief that's in your way, um, a story that's holding you back, a circumstance, uh, references, uh, you know, something that's holding you back from achieving X, so take a look at whatever it is that you already know is holding you back.

Lewis Howes 26:47 Yeah.

John Assaraf 26:47 "I don't believe I'm worthy. I don't believe I'm smart enough. Don't believe that I'm good enough. Don't believe I'm skilled enough. I'm-"

Lewis Howes 26:51 Too young, too old

John Assaraf 26:52 ... too young, too old.

Lewis Howes 26:53 Yeah.

John Assaraf 26:53 I'm, I'm too this or too that, or not enough of this, not enough of that. So address that and say, "Okay, here's an obstacle. I'm gonna visualize that obstacle being real, and I'm gonna visualize just moving it aside and me moving towards my goal." The very act of acknowledging that releases the neural tension around it. If you do that over and over and over again, what your brain starts to see is, yes, there was a struggle, and so it's worthy of me creating this neural pattern-

Lewis Howes 27:20 Mm

John Assaraf 27:20 ... around this new effort.

Lewis Howes 27:21 Right.

John Assaraf 27:21 'Cause most of what we're doing is, you know, we're being on, we're on autopilot. We're just eking through the day, you know, on autopilot. And so the brain loves anything that makes it curious. The brain likes anything novel. The brain likes a challenge.

Lewis Howes 27:35 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 27:36 So earlier you were asking me about, you know, one of the brain training companies other than ours, and you said, "Does it work?" I said, "Yeah, it's a workout for your brain." And if you can strengthen the neural patterns of you seeing yourself with an obstacle and overcoming it, what do you think that does to your self-confidence and certainty?

Lewis Howes 27:51 Builds it up big time.

John Assaraf 27:52 Builds it up.

Lewis Howes 27:53 Yeah.

John Assaraf 27:53 So if you, if you actually do the work and develop those patterns in your brain, as you're doing the stuff you need to do in the physical world, you just strengthen those neural patterns, and that's what becomes-

Lewis Howes 28:05 Mm

John Assaraf 28:05 ... your habits.

Lewis Howes 28:06 Yeah.

John Assaraf 28:07 And that's where it becomes really fun because you can develop the, the habits and, and the skills that you need that you'll actually take action on versus having knowledge and skills in your head.

Lewis Howes 28:18 Mm-hmm. Now, I feel like you've been testing things for decades now-

John Assaraf 28:21 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 28:21 ... with all the research and the work you've done.

John Assaraf 28:23 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 28:23 So what does your morning routine look like now?

John Assaraf 28:25 It's all great. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 28:26 What, what's... you know.

John Assaraf 28:27 So today was a little bit different except for one thing, 'cause I drove from San Diego to LA to be with you. But I wake up, I pee, I do my meditation, 20 to 30 minutes every morning.

Lewis Howes 28:37 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 28:37 I don't care where I am in the world. I do at least one a day.

Lewis Howes 28:39 And what are you focused on during that time?

John Assaraf 28:40 I, I do a variety of different meditations. So there's meditations that I can do where I'm just observing my thoughts.

Lewis Howes 28:47 Mm.

John Assaraf 28:47 Now a lot of people think, "Well, aren't I not supposed to have thoughts when you meditate?"

Lewis Howes 28:51 Mm.

John Assaraf 28:51 Says whom? There's hundreds of different ways to practice awareness. See, meditation is the art of awareness. Awareness internally, awareness externally, but also the various millions of layers that exist in the physical and the non-physical world.

Lewis Howes 29:09 Mm.

John Assaraf 29:10 So this morning I did a meditation with some ocean sounds. And so it was, um, about 5:00 I woke up this morning, sat in my little sofa, you know-

Lewis Howes 29:20 Mm

John Assaraf 29:20 ... with my feet propped up, and did a 20 so minute meditation in the dark with the ocean. Just listening-

Lewis Howes 29:26 Mm

John Assaraf 29:26 ... to the ocean, just paying attention, and going into a trance-like state where after two or three minutes, I, I disappeared. Like, my body was part of air and space. So today was, I was using sound to get into that trance-like state. Other days I'll do a, a mantra, whether it's, you know, a lot of people know transcendental meditation, so it's the om mantra. So you just take a deep breath in, and then as you exhale, it's ooh. And the question is, why would you do that? And the answer is any time you can give your brain a rhythm, it will entrain to that rhythm.

Lewis Howes 30:03 Mm.

John Assaraf 30:03 That's one. Any time you could pay attention to your breath, inhale and exhale, you turn off the parasympathetic nervous system. Um, yeah, you c- you turn on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is your rest and relaxation-

Lewis Howes 30:16 Mm

John Assaraf 30:16 ... and your calm state of flow versus your sympathetic nervous system, which is the stress response system of adrenaline-

Lewis Howes 30:24 Right

John Assaraf 30:24 ... norepinephrine, cortisol, et cetera. So when you can get the serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine going, uh, and you're in that state of calmness, uh, you're able to enter deeper levels of consciousness and awareness.

Lewis Howes 30:36 Mm.

John Assaraf 30:36 So you're able to observe a thought. You're able to hear your heartbeat. You're able to sense different things that are giving r- are, are being risen in your body through thoughts that you're having, so you can actually start to see, "When I have this thought, here's the sensation in my body." And you start to get so, uh, tuned to what's happening, what stimuli is happening within you that's producing these sensations that cause you to either take action or not, retreat or move forward. You can start to get a feel for how the mechanics work.

Lewis Howes 31:09 Mm.

John Assaraf 31:09 So, um, so I'll do that. Sometimes I'll put on, uh, some of the Tibetan monks and chant with them.

Lewis Howes 31:14 Mm.

John Assaraf 31:15 Uh, uh, so I use sound-

Lewis Howes 31:16 Yeah

John Assaraf 31:16 ... no sound. I use breathing. I use open eye, closed eye, five minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes. So I practice the art of being in control of my breath, not breathing, just being one with the entire universe and feeling this other than normal state of consciousness that we're used to. And it's not sleep, and it's not, you know, conscious awareness. You're in an altered state of awareness.

Lewis Howes 31:40 Mm.

John Assaraf 31:41 And you can, you can enter deeper and deeper and deeper layers of energy, which everything is made up anyway. Everything's connected. We have this, obviously, our physical body-

Lewis Howes 31:51 Right

John Assaraf 31:52 ... but the space between you and I right now, there's just vibrating packets of energy.

Lewis Howes 31:57 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 31:58 Right? And so you're able to access different layers of all of the intelligence and information that already exists in the universe versus the memories that we have in our brains, and that's magical.

Lewis Howes 32:09 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 32:11 I love this. Why are you so wired this way? What makes you, like, so obsessed with this information and sharing it with a billion people?

John Assaraf 32:23 When I was, um, five, six, seven years old, I moved from Israel to Montreal. I spoke Hebrew but not English or French, and for two and a half years I felt dumb.

Lewis Howes 32:34 Mm.

John Assaraf 32:34 I felt like I wasn't smart enough, and I wasn't good enough, and I was made fun of as a kid. [smacks lips] That led to me being involved in street gangs from the age of 12 to 16.

Lewis Howes 32:44 Wow. In Montreal?

John Assaraf 32:45 In Montreal.

Lewis Howes 32:45 Wow.

John Assaraf 32:46 Uh, we trafficked drugs from Florida.

Lewis Howes 32:49 Wow.

John Assaraf 32:49 We did break-in entries. We, we had a little street gang-

Lewis Howes 32:52 Wow

John Assaraf 32:52 ... about 12 of us that just got into a lot of trouble. My path was either jail or the morgue, one of the two. And, uh, uh, uh, there's a lot of successful people that have that kind of a story for some strange reason.

Lewis Howes 33:02 [laughs]

John Assaraf 33:03 Um, and at 19 I met a mentor. His name was Alan Brown. He was a real estate developer.

Lewis Howes 33:08 Still in Montreal?

John Assaraf 33:09 Uh, no, this was in... I, I moved from Montreal after-

Lewis Howes 33:11 Gotcha

John Assaraf 33:12 ... years of turbulence. I finally broke free and moved from Montreal to Toronto, which is about 350 miles.

Lewis Howes 33:18 Gotcha. In Canada still.

John Assaraf 33:18 And... Canada, yeah. And, um, May 1980 I took, uh, my real estate course. June 20th, 1980, became licensed as a real estate agent.

Lewis Howes 33:27 Mm.

John Assaraf 33:27 And the reason I did is I met a man the weekend before, that my brother introduced me to, who was into personal development.

Lewis Howes 33:34 Yeah.

John Assaraf 33:34 And he was into, you know, Zig Ziglar and Denis Waitley and Brian Tracy.

Lewis Howes 33:38 Sure.

John Assaraf 33:38 He's, you know, 35 years ago.

Lewis Howes 33:41 Yeah.

John Assaraf 33:41 And he introduced me to this world of, of, you know, the mind, introducing me to the world of changing my beliefs, changing my habits, changing my perceptions of, first, who are you? And he really helped me see that, you know, the spiritual greatness within everybody, the intelligence that's within everybody. He had me start with getting in touch with that. And, um, it was very philosophical and didn't have the evidence that we have today-

Lewis Howes 34:07 Mm

John Assaraf 34:07 ... on affirmations, visualization, meditation-

Lewis Howes 34:11 Right

John Assaraf 34:11 ... mindfulness, subliminal programming, uh, habit creation, uh, in all of the different methodologies that we've all heard about, whether it was the astronauts that went to the moon initially that trained their brains or the musicians that have or the, uh, athletes that do.

Lewis Howes 34:26 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 34:27 The science now is just so phenomenal on what is actually happening. And so as I was building my own companies, I built my companies by training my employees not on the skills that they needed but on how spectacular they were as human beings.

Lewis Howes 34:43 Mm.

John Assaraf 34:44 And the greatness was within them, and if they trained their brain to have the belief that is... They may not have the skill or the know-how, but if you have the belief that I can, I will, I must-

Lewis Howes 34:54 You can build the habit. You can start taking action.

John Assaraf 34:55 You can build the habit.

Lewis Howes 34:56 Yeah.

John Assaraf 34:56 You can start to... You can... I- if you think about this, I don't care if you, uh, if we asked any question on health, wealth, relationships, career, business, spirituality, we wanted to, uh, find the answer to something-

Lewis Howes 35:05 Yeah

John Assaraf 35:05 ... we could Google it and within minutes have everything we wanna know about it.

Lewis Howes 35:09 Tutorials, everything we need.

John Assaraf 35:09 Tutorials, videos, audios, how to, step-by-step-

Lewis Howes 35:12 Yeah

John Assaraf 35:12 ... blueprint, color-coordinated, whatever you want.

Lewis Howes 35:14 [laughs]

John Assaraf 35:14 So our problem isn't how to.

Lewis Howes 35:17 Uh-huh.

John Assaraf 35:17 All the how to exists. How to build a business exists. How to be a great lover exists, you know? It all exists.

Lewis Howes 35:24 Everything. How to get in shape, uh, yes.

John Assaraf 35:25 Right. So I wanted to focus on, you know, how do I help more people take more of the action they know they should be and want to? And it all started, um, in 1995 when, uh... uh, 1992. Um, after I, you know, got into real estate, then I traveled the world. I, um, I ended up buying the franchising rights for RE/MAX for the state of Indiana.

Lewis Howes 35:46 Mm.

John Assaraf 35:46 And I was 26 years old.

Lewis Howes 35:48 Wow.

John Assaraf 35:48 And I bought the franchising rights for Indiana, moved to Indiana.

Lewis Howes 35:51 Wow.

John Assaraf 35:51 And, um, I remember being interviewed for the Indianapolis Business Journal, and the guy said, "What are your goals here in Indiana?" 26 years old. I was wearing, you know, uh, I remember a g- a brown pinstripe suit. Uh, I had glasses on even though I didn't need glasses. I just wanted to look older [laughs] And I said, uh, "We'll do a billion dollars in sales in Indiana." And the gentleman said to me, he says, "Are you, um, certain of that?" I said, "Well, that's my goal." He says, "Well, the two g- largest companies that have been here for 100 years don't do $100 million c- 100, uh, or a billion dollars combined." And, uh, in my cocky young self, I said- [laughs] Well, they're not me ... "We'll be first." [laughs] Yeah. He said, "What?" They're not me. [laughs] Yeah. Just three weeks later, the Indianapolis Business Journal, and I have it at home, it says, "Sets $1 billion goal." Wow. Um, May 1992, we hit a billion dollars in sales five years later. Wow. And we were stuck, which is a great place to be stuck. Um, but it wasn't because we didn't try hard. We were stuck because people started hitting the upper limits of their financial blueprint, the upper limits of their beliefs- Mm ... the upper limits of their habitual ways of doing things. So regardless of how much more information we gave them, they just were at their limits. They didn't believe they could make more. That's right. Well, and again, when we talk about beliefs, there's two types of beliefs. There's belief that I say to you, "Sure I could do that. Oh, yeah, man, I wanna do that." But if there's an opposing belief at the implicit part of the brain saying, "But you're not smart enough, you're not good enough, you're not worthy enough, you're afraid of failure, afraid of this, you're afraid of that," you won't do it because the non-conscious controls the entire game. And so we started to retrain our agents' brains after we did a, we did a, um- Mm ... an event. Um, 75 agents paid, I think it was 2 or $3,000 to go through a six-month brain retraining program. Whoa. Those 75 agents increased our sales by $100 million. Wow. And we said, "Okay, we're gonna teach this to the entire company." [laughs] Yeah. So we went from 1.2 billion to 4.5 billion in sales- Oh my goodness ... a year in three years by working on this- Wow ... versus what they needed to do. Wow. And so I became really, um, pretty well-versed in understanding a little bit about the brain. And then after I was retired in 2003, after building a couple companies, so I took Bamboo.com we took public in- Mm ... 1999. And, um, I wanted to just teach what I'd learned, and I started getting involved- Yeah ... with some of the top neuroscientists, neuropsychologists in the world. Mm. Uh, quantum physicists, molecular biologists. I wanted just to understand the mechanics of how it all worked. Mm. So when I visualize in first person what's happening in my brain and where, when I visualize in third person what's happening in my brain and where, when I, um, repeat an affirmation that I don't believe and I hear a little voice in my head saying, "Bullshit," why does that happen? That's not true. And then what are the systems that get activated as soon as- Yeah ... you believe it's not true? And then can we learn to override them? The answer is yeah. It's, it's an organ, and we're just getting the user's manual now- Mm ... for better than ever before. Yeah. And I'm fascinated with biology. I'm fascinated with neurochemistry. Yeah. I'm fascinated with the mechanics of if this circuit goes on, what does it do to this circuit? So if the fear circuit goes on, does that basically shut down the motivational circuit? Mm, yeah, that's exactly what happens. Sure. So when the spiritual circuit lights on, you believe, let's say, God's on your side if you happen to believe that, then guess what? You've just created a majority in your brain. [laughs] And it'll override just about any other circuit- Mm ... in the brain, right? And so, so there's the mechanics of, of, of it that I'm fascinated with, but then I'm also fascinated with, you know, technology and the movie The Matrix. It's amazing. Yeah. I was just gonna mention that. Yeah. Yeah. The movie The Matrix was the

John Assaraf 39:24 beginning of- Mm ... okay, so we can... Uh, w- and we already know that we actually can transfer information from one cell to another, so we already know that. And so now it's a matter of how. Mm-hmm. Right? Not Lewis Howes, but- [laughs] ... but how. [laughs] And so I'm fascinated with, you know, where are we with augmented reality? Where are we with virtual reality? Where are we with nootropics? Yeah. Where are we with whether it's electrostimulation into the brain? Where are we with accelerated visualization, accelerated emotional immersions into a virtual reality or mixed reality? And you see, I can notice already my voice is just getting... Because that's where it's all going. Yeah. Right? So in the next f- five years for sure to 10 years, no question about it, you'll be able to visualize an experience in your brain 1,000 times in a minute. Mm. Or 10,000 times- Really? ... in a minute. How? Yeah. Well, because your non-conscious brain is picking up information at the rate of 400 billion bits of information per second. You're only aware of four to 40 bits of information per second consciously. Wow. So all of the information's being pummeled into the non-conscious mind anyway and then deletes, distorts, or sends a signal up for you to be aware of. Well, if you can get the information in the brain and you could trigger the brain plasticity switch on, which is mostly off after 10 years old, then the non-conscious brain's gonna do what it did as a baby. That's why a baby sleeps 20-plus hours a day. Yeah. It's creating so many neural networks- Yeah ... for what they hear, see, smell, taste, touch, experience, that it starts to formulate their map of reality. Well, we're about to go through a massive, massive shift in what happens in our brains over the next 20 years. Wow. And that's because of the ability to input information. Uh, a lot of people are stressed right now. Why? Text, phone, mobile, radio, TV, Facebook, uh, Twitter- It's all the time ... all, all this. It's just nonstop stress in the brain. And when the brain feels stressed, then obviously cortison- cortison- cortisol, epinephrine, norepinephrine kick in, and that's a stress hormone. Well, it's like having, you know, your finger on the electricity button all day long and just not, not stopping, so you start- Mm ... to burn the fibers, um, your nerves. And, and so there's, there's a major shift that's gonna happen, especially- Yeah ... with virtual reality. Sure. Just remember- Yeah ... the combination of virtual reality and augmented reality, I've been in some scenarios recently, um- Mm ... where it's, it's unbelievable. I was in Israel just a few months ago, and I was in a, uh, a lab in Israel ... with some virtual reality goggles on-

Lewis Howes 42:01 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 42:01 ... some sensors on my body, and they basically put me, my consciousness, into a baby, so that when I looked-

Lewis Howes 42:09 Wow

John Assaraf 42:09 ... everywhere, I, I, I had my arms were baby's arms.

Lewis Howes 42:12 Wow.

John Assaraf 42:12 My legs were baby's arms, but I was me.

Lewis Howes 42:15 Oh.

John Assaraf 42:15 And so my body basically disappeared. I took on the feeling of being in a baby's body.

Lewis Howes 42:22 Wow.

John Assaraf 42:23 And, and I, like, I know on one part of my brain's going, "This is not happening," and the other part of the brain's going, "Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not." And we'll be able to put ourselves into these immersive experiences directly focused on the non-conscious brain to rewire it.

Lewis Howes 42:38 Hmm.

John Assaraf 42:39 So somebody's afraid of public speaking, afraid of heights, afraid of, uh, failure, afraid of success, the, the games that w- are gonna be coming out, the experiences that'll be coming out where you'll be able to have your virtual reality-

Lewis Howes 42:51 Wow

John Assaraf 42:52 ... you know, just glasses on. They're not gonna be as-

Lewis Howes 42:53 Mm

John Assaraf 42:53 ... you know, as-

Lewis Howes 42:54 Big

John Assaraf 42:54 ... big and clunky as they are now. That's like the telephones, you know-

Lewis Howes 42:57 Right

John Assaraf 42:57 ... cell phones from 1970. They were big and clunky and weighed five pounds. Now you, you know, you have a computer in your hand-

Lewis Howes 43:02 Mm

John Assaraf 43:02 ... that's got more power than the computer we used to put a man on the moon.

Lewis Howes 43:05 Right.

John Assaraf 43:06 And so, so the evolution of where that's going is any experience, any time, real feeling associated with it that ties into all the-

Lewis Howes 43:17 Wow

John Assaraf 43:17 ... biometrics of your body, your heartbeat, your, your, um, sweat glands, your, your, um, blood pressure, everything will be monitored to be able to create maximal upload into your brain for you to absorb it. So you want some confidence? You'll be able to go into a confidence chamber in your-

Lewis Howes 43:34 Wow

John Assaraf 43:34 ... mind and build some freaking confidence, 'cause confidence is nothing more than a series of neural patterns that have been reinforced.

Lewis Howes 43:43 Wow.

John Assaraf 43:43 If it's nothing more than a neural pattern that's been reinforced, why not figure out how to accelerate the-

Lewis Howes 43:48 Right

John Assaraf 43:48 ... neural pattern creation in optimal conditions?

Lewis Howes 43:52 Yeah.

John Assaraf 43:52 Well-

Lewis Howes 43:52 Are you gonna develop this?

John Assaraf 43:53 Oh, well, that's what NeuroGym is all about.

Lewis Howes 43:55 [laughs]

John Assaraf 43:55 Yeah. We're, we're building the gym.

Lewis Howes 43:57 With the virtual reality?

John Assaraf 43:57 We're not build- We're gonna have the best programs like that in the NeuroGym.

Lewis Howes 44:03 Yeah, yeah.

John Assaraf 44:04 That's the whole vision. So, uh, if somebody has a, a, a fear of failure, great. Let's create some simulations that they could play in their, you know, in their-

Lewis Howes 44:13 Amazing

John Assaraf 44:13 ... living room. Uh, and let's see if they wanna invite 10 or 20 or 50 or 100 friends around the world.

Lewis Howes 44:18 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 44:18 You know? So that's where it's all going. And so if you can-

Lewis Howes 44:21 Amazing

John Assaraf 44:21 ... get the information into the brain, then the brain can code it. And if it codes it at the implicit level, then it will change behavior and perception.

Lewis Howes 44:29 Amazing. I'm curious, I wanna ask you a question in a moment. Uh, I just wanna hook people about how if they're stuck at making a certain amount of money-

John Assaraf 44:36 Uh-huh

Lewis Howes 44:36 ... how they can break through that mentally in a moment.

John Assaraf 44:38 Sure.

Lewis Howes 44:39 But I'm curious first, why did you get into gangs and into trouble so much early on? Did you not have the, the home life you wanted?

John Assaraf 44:46 Hmm, interesting.

Lewis Howes 44:47 Or was it just a part of being accepted by peers or-

John Assaraf 44:50 Yeah

Lewis Howes 44:50 ... why?

John Assaraf 44:51 Um, had a great mom and dad, even though they didn't love each other.

Lewis Howes 44:56 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 44:56 Um, they were wonderful parents, both individually. Uh, great brother, great sister, great family home, you know. Um, had food on the table every day, had a roof over my head every day, had clothes on my back, so lots of love. When I was younger, I just didn't feel like I fit in.

Lewis Howes 45:12 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 45:12 Uh, and so there's a group of kids that just didn't feel like they fit in, and then we just hung out together, and then-

Lewis Howes 45:17 Right

John Assaraf 45:18 ... the people that were the misfits back then, I was voted most likely to fail in life-

Lewis Howes 45:22 Wow

John Assaraf 45:22 ... uh, by my high school team. So even by then, I was getting into, you know, just so much trouble.

Lewis Howes 45:27 Right.

John Assaraf 45:27 I was hanging around with the people who just didn't have their self-confidence, and I didn't feel smart enough in school. Um, I didn't feel like I was good enough in school.

Lewis Howes 45:35 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 45:36 And, um, even though I was athletic, I played basketball.

Lewis Howes 45:38 Yeah.

John Assaraf 45:39 And that was my only claim to fame, but I cheated to get out of high school.

Lewis Howes 45:43 How so?

John Assaraf 45:44 Uh, [laughs] it's funny story, but, uh-

Lewis Howes 45:46 [laughs]

John Assaraf 45:46 ... the guy, a, a kid came in from Massachusetts. His name is Ted Karolis. Um, there's a whole other story that happened about three months ago that if we have time, I'll get into it.

Lewis Howes 45:54 Okay.

John Assaraf 45:55 But he came to our school. He liked, uh, playing basketball. He wasn't very good at it, so I started helping him train for basketball-

Lewis Howes 46:00 Mm

John Assaraf 46:00 ... lifting weights in my garage, and, uh, and running and teaching him some basketball skills. And in turn, he helped me with math.

Lewis Howes 46:07 Wow.

John Assaraf 46:08 And on the, um, final day of, you know, our, our math exams, um, I had no idea, you know, what the hell I was gonna do, and I didn't know how I was gonna get out of high school 'cause I needed to get my math, uh, grades.

Lewis Howes 46:19 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 46:19 And so he wrote on a piece of paper that's about two inches by two inches-

Lewis Howes 46:24 [laughs]

John Assaraf 46:24 ... and, and rolled it up like a little snot ball 50 answers to the questions-

Lewis Howes 46:28 No way

John Assaraf 46:28 ... with a, with a, um, engineer pen.

Lewis Howes 46:31 After he took the test?

John Assaraf 46:32 Uh, he took the test. He sat behind me in the gym, like f- and he just flicked it on my desk. I took it out, watched where the teachers were-

Lewis Howes 46:37 Uh-huh

John Assaraf 46:38 ... wrote out the answers. I ended up with 92% on my final math test.

Lewis Howes 46:41 [laughs]

John Assaraf 46:41 I got out of high school.

Lewis Howes 46:42 Wow.

John Assaraf 46:42 Strangely enough, this was in, in, um, in the '70s. Haven't heard from him or seen him in, in, uh, about, you know, 30 years or so, however long, um, that is. About three months ago, my staff gets an email from a guy that says he thinks he went to high school with me.

Lewis Howes 46:58 [laughs]

John Assaraf 46:59 And, um-

Lewis Howes 47:00 This is crazy

John Assaraf 47:00 ... so I call him up, and I said to him, about two weeks earlier, I tried to reach him on Facebook 'cause I was going back to Montreal.

Lewis Howes 47:06 No way.

John Assaraf 47:07 And, uh, he's like, "Oh my God. Well, I saw your ads on Facebook, and that's why I-

Lewis Howes 47:11 [laughs]

John Assaraf 47:11 ... I realized there's not many people with, with the name Assaraf."

Lewis Howes 47:13 [laughs]

John Assaraf 47:14 So he called the office, and then I've been giving him all of my programs-

Lewis Howes 47:17 And take this

John Assaraf 47:17 ... thanking him-

Lewis Howes 47:18 [laughs]

John Assaraf 47:18 ... you know, for getting me out of high school.

Lewis Howes 47:19 30 years a day. Yeah, yeah.

John Assaraf 47:20 He's, he's an engineer.

Lewis Howes 47:21 Oh my gosh.

John Assaraf 47:21 He's making six figures a year. I said, "Well, let's help you get to a million."

Lewis Howes 47:24 That's amazing.

John Assaraf 47:24 Right? He's like, "Oh my gosh." I said, "Listen, this is, for me, this is the most phenomenal gift-"

Lewis Howes 47:29 [laughs]

John Assaraf 47:29 "... I'll be able to give you b- you got me out of high school."

Lewis Howes 47:31 That's hilarious.

John Assaraf 47:31 You know? And, um, so it was a, a great, uh-

Lewis Howes 47:35 That's cool.

John Assaraf 47:35 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 47:35 That's a good story.

John Assaraf 47:36 That was fun.

Lewis Howes 47:36 And who was more influential in your life, mom or dad?

John Assaraf 47:41 My, um, dad was a cab driver, an extremely hardworking man, you know, 5:30 in the morning, goes out, busts his ass. Um, he had incredible will and willpower.

Lewis Howes 47:54 Hmm.

John Assaraf 47:55 And so I saw some things in him that I really, really resonated with, but he was not a, he was, he went to grade five.

Lewis Howes 48:02 Yeah.

John Assaraf 48:02 Wasn't really educated, so didn't understand the world really well, didn't understand business, didn't understand... He was, um, extremely happy. His only rule-

Lewis Howes 48:10 Huh

John Assaraf 48:10 ... every day was if he woke up, he was happy.

Lewis Howes 48:12 Hmm.

John Assaraf 48:13 That was his only rule

Lewis Howes 48:14 That's a good rule

John Assaraf 48:14 If you ask him how am I, he goes, "What do you mean how am I? I'm alive. I'm, I'm happy." And, uh, never made a lot of money. You know, made 25, 30 grand a year

Lewis Howes 48:21 Mm

John Assaraf 48:22 Always had too much month left at the end of the money

Lewis Howes 48:25 Mm

John Assaraf 48:25 Uh, my mother also went to grade three, um, but very wise, very loving, uh, very into family, very into friends, family, bonding with, with people

Lewis Howes 48:35 Mm

John Assaraf 48:35 Uh, money was not that important, um, but family was, and her children, the values were. And so I learned a little bit from both. And my mother, unfortunately, has been a manic depressive, um, individual for 60 years.

Lewis Howes 48:47 Mm.

John Assaraf 48:47 So she takes pills. She's living in assisted living home. She's-

Lewis Howes 48:51 Yeah

John Assaraf 48:51 ... you know, fragile and tiptoeing through life hoping to make it safely to death. My dad's 86. He's flying next month to Barcelona to get on a cruise for a week, so-

Lewis Howes 49:00 Wow

John Assaraf 49:00 ... polar opposite. So I learned a lot of-

Lewis Howes 49:02 They separated?

John Assaraf 49:03 Yeah, many years ago.

Lewis Howes 49:03 Yeah

John Assaraf 49:03 They, they stayed together until the kids all left-

Lewis Howes 49:06 Right

John Assaraf 49:06 ... which is very typical

Lewis Howes 49:07 Like most parents

John Assaraf 49:07 Yeah, very typical

Lewis Howes 49:08 Right. [laughs]

John Assaraf 49:09 And then, um, and then they, um, they separated. You know, he went his way. He moved back to Israel.

Lewis Howes 49:13 Wow

John Assaraf 49:13 My mother stayed in Montreal 'cause that's where my sister is

Lewis Howes 49:16 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 49:16 And so, uh, and I talk to her five, six days a week-

Lewis Howes 49:19 Wow

John Assaraf 49:19 ... say, "Hey, how you doing?" Talk to my dad three days a week or so

Lewis Howes 49:22 Okay

John Assaraf 49:22 I just stay close. But I learned a lot from them, you know. Um, the, the one thing I remember is, it's funny you say this, we talked about sugar earlier. I, I was 12 or 13 years old. I came home from school with information on cigarettes-

Lewis Howes 49:36 Mm

John Assaraf 49:36 ... and both my parents smoked two to three packs a day

Lewis Howes 49:39 Oh my gosh

John Assaraf 49:40 A day, right? And my father looked at it, read it-

Lewis Howes 49:43 [laughs]

John Assaraf 49:44 ... picked up a cigarette, smoked a cigarette-

Lewis Howes 49:46 [laughs]

John Assaraf 49:46 ... as he was finishing reading it. He says, "Okay, I'm done." He's never had a cigarette since, ever.

Lewis Howes 49:50 He had the information

John Assaraf 49:51 Ever. He had the information while he was smoking a cigarette.

Lewis Howes 49:53 He quit

John Assaraf 49:53 He says, "Okay, I get this." He, he quit. Two-

Lewis Howes 49:56 Two packs a day

John Assaraf 49:56 ... two to three packs a day. And they fought about-

Lewis Howes 49:58 Wow

John Assaraf 49:59 ... how my mother continued smoking. He stopped smoking that one day. So one of the things I-

Lewis Howes 50:02 Wow

John Assaraf 50:02 ... I, I got from him was wh- where does th- this ability come from, knowing what we know about nicotine and the addictive properties of it?

Lewis Howes 50:08 That's unbelievable

John Assaraf 50:09 So it showed me that, you know, I th- I don't know how old he was at the time, but it's, you know, it's going back 43 years

Lewis Howes 50:15 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 50:16 Um, so you know, he was in his 50s or in his 40s

Lewis Howes 50:18 Wow

John Assaraf 50:18 So he was in his 40s. So he just made a decision and stopped

Lewis Howes 50:22 Powerful

John Assaraf 50:22 And so he gave me a really powerful lesson of the power of decision and conviction, right? And, um, so that was a great lesson from him.

Lewis Howes 50:31 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 50:32 But my mom, the biggest lesson is just love

Lewis Howes 50:33 Yeah

John Assaraf 50:34 She was just love. It's love.

Lewis Howes 50:35 Yeah

John Assaraf 50:35 It's just family. It's all about love

Lewis Howes 50:37 Mm.

John Assaraf 50:37 It's all about love

Lewis Howes 50:38 Is there anything missing in your life right now? And if so, what is that?

John Assaraf 50:44 There really isn't right now. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 50:46 [laughs]

John Assaraf 50:46 Yeah, I, um, you know, I, uh, I, I've just come through a really challenging time. I was in business with one of my very best friends of 30 years

Lewis Howes 50:54 Mm

John Assaraf 50:55 And we started a, a company together in 2006 or so. And, um, he ended up with severe diabetes-

Lewis Howes 51:04 Mm

John Assaraf 51:04 ... and had a stroke and had a heart attack. And it went, you know, everything just went to hell in a handbasket. Lost lots of money, lots of, um, employees. We had about 70 plus employees. We let them go

Lewis Howes 51:18 Mm

John Assaraf 51:18 Closed the company down. I had friends of mine who put $2 million into the deal

Lewis Howes 51:23 Oh

John Assaraf 51:23 I put a couple million dollars into the deal, and it was, you know, all my intellectual property that I developed over-

Lewis Howes 51:29 Mm

John Assaraf 51:29 ... six years was basically held up in a legal lawsuit that I had with one of my shareholders and investors, and it was a very challenging time

Lewis Howes 51:38 Wow

John Assaraf 51:38 It was his, you know, reputation, IP, start from scratch, um-

Lewis Howes 51:44 Assets

John Assaraf 51:44 ... assets, yeah

Lewis Howes 51:44 Relationships, everything

John Assaraf 51:45 Yeah, lots. So it was challenging, very, very challenging time. And, uh, fortunately because of, you know, my meditative practices-

Lewis Howes 51:52 Mm

John Assaraf 51:52 ... staying, staying aware of what is, not buying too much into that, I just, you know, started building a new company-

Lewis Howes 51:58 Mm

John Assaraf 51:58 ... over the last, uh, four years. And I've got, you know, 30 amazing team members now at, uh-

Lewis Howes 52:03 Wow

John Assaraf 52:03 ... our company at NeuroGym. Um, my relationship with my wife is great. My kids are awesome.

Lewis Howes 52:08 Mm

John Assaraf 52:08 My health has never been better. I became vegan about five years ago, stopped drinking alcohol seven years ago-

Lewis Howes 52:13 Great

John Assaraf 52:13 ... gave up sugar about three weeks ago. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 52:16 [laughs] Let me know how long you keep it up.

John Assaraf 52:17 Yeah, I made a decision now. It's a, a year. So the-

Lewis Howes 52:19 One year, no sugar

John Assaraf 52:20 ... decision, one year. One year, no refined sugar

Lewis Howes 52:21 No sweets. Yeah, yeah

John Assaraf 52:22 No refined sugar

Lewis Howes 52:23 Yeah, yeah

John Assaraf 52:23 If it happens to be, if there happens to be honey on-

Lewis Howes 52:25 Right, right

John Assaraf 52:25 ... uh, uh, you know, on something, then a little bit's fine-

Lewis Howes 52:28 Right, right, right

John Assaraf 52:28 ... but no refined sugar. No cookies, no cakes, no chocolate bars-

Lewis Howes 52:31 Oh my gosh

John Assaraf 52:31 ... no soft drinks, no nothing

Lewis Howes 52:33 Let me know how it goes

John Assaraf 52:33 Well, right now I don't have any cravings whatsoever.

Lewis Howes 52:36 Wow.

John Assaraf 52:36 Zero

Lewis Howes 52:36 Wait till the holidays hit

John Assaraf 52:37 Zero. You know what? I just came back from Montreal, and, and-

Lewis Howes 52:40 Oh

John Assaraf 52:40 ... and I was there for the holidays-

Lewis Howes 52:42 Oh my gosh

John Assaraf 52:42 ... and the dessert table was about as big as this, and I just said, "No." And a week bef- actually, four days before that, I was in Las Vegas at Encore at the buffet, and I actually took a video of everything that was there, and I said, "Now," what I did beforehand is I pre-committed when I... Before I went to Las Vegas, I said, "Now, when I go to the buffet, here's what I will do. When I go to this restaurant, here's what I will do."

Lewis Howes 53:03 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 53:03 So I pre-committed in advance, played it over in my mind 10, 15, 20 times, put myself in the situation in my mind, and then when I was there, it was-

Lewis Howes 53:11 It was no big deal

John Assaraf 53:12 ... easy-breezy 'cause I'd done it-

Lewis Howes 53:14 You visualized it

John Assaraf 53:14 ... 10, 20, 30 times

Lewis Howes 53:15 God, beautiful

John Assaraf 53:16 So I did that. And so when I went to Montreal, usually I go to Montreal and all hell goes loose. My mother-

Lewis Howes 53:20 [laughs]

John Assaraf 53:21 ... you know, is always with the-

Lewis Howes 53:21 She's baking every day. She's got-

John Assaraf 53:22 Not anymore. My sister's taken over

Lewis Howes 53:24 Oh, yeah

John Assaraf 53:24 So the, uh, you know, the food that's there and, um, and the desserts that are there, breakfast-

Lewis Howes 53:29 Oh, the poutine there, too. I love poutine

John Assaraf 53:30 Oh, yeah, yeah

Lewis Howes 53:31 So good

John Assaraf 53:31 You can get dessert. But the desserts for me is, was the hardest part.

Lewis Howes 53:33 Oh.

John Assaraf 53:33 But it was, like, easy-breezy.

Lewis Howes 53:35 That's amazing. Teach me thy ways. I don't know if I'm ready to commit for the year. You've gotta be ready, like, I think

John Assaraf 53:42 Yeah. And you actually, you, you, you mentioned something about the word, you know, commit. My first mentor, this was June 1982-

Lewis Howes 53:51 Mm

John Assaraf 53:51 ... he had me write down my goals, health, wealth, relationships, career, business, fun, experiences, charity, ex- everything. Uh, one year, three years, five years, 25 years. He had me a whole weekend write goals. I'm like, I was 19.

Lewis Howes 54:04 [laughs]

John Assaraf 54:05 I was like, "God, this is a lot of work."

Lewis Howes 54:08 Yeah

John Assaraf 54:09 And when I came back after the weekend, he said, "Okay, great. Are you serious about these?" I said, "Yeah, I've spent the whole fucking weekend doing this."

Lewis Howes 54:15 [laughs]

John Assaraf 54:15 "I'm serious about it." He says, "Great. Are you interested in achieving these goals, or are you committed?" I said, "Alan, what, what's the difference?" He goes, "If you're interested, you come up with stories, excuses, reasons, and circumstances why you can't or why you won't. If you're committed, those go out the window. You just do whatever it takes."

Lewis Howes 54:32 Yeah.

John Assaraf 54:33 And I remember being petrified-

Lewis Howes 54:34 That's amazing

John Assaraf 54:35 ... of the difference. I was fucking petrified.

Lewis Howes 54:36 [laughs]

John Assaraf 54:37 I'm sitting there. There was a man, he was looking at me. I was sitting in a chair, he was looking at me, wonderful man, and he sh- put his hand in front of me, "Are you interested, are you committed?" And I was like, "Wow." Like now I've gotta tell him that. Forget if I tell myself and then I lie to myself-

Lewis Howes 54:51 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 54:52 ... and tomorrow I don't, but here's a gentleman that's trying to help me, asking me if I'm interested or committed. And so I said, "Well, I'm, I'm committed." He says, "Great, 'cause if you're committed, then I'll help you, 'cause if you're not committed, I can't waste my time with you." And he helped me.

Lewis Howes 55:06 That's amazing.

John Assaraf 55:06 And in my first year, uh, in real estate at 19, I made 31... $35,000. My second year, by starting to retrain my brain, every day he had me visualizing, he had me cognitively priming my brain to see my goals. Every day I would-

Lewis Howes 55:20 Hmm

John Assaraf 55:20 ... take my goals out and I would run my fingers across them. Then I would close my eyes like he taught me, and he says, "Now read it, and then see yourself doing it or achieving it or being it. Then read it and see yourself doing it, and then run your fingers across it and feel the electrical signal from those words coming into your body, into your brain, and cementing themselves there."

Lewis Howes 55:42 Hmm.

John Assaraf 55:42 Every day I would do that for 15, 20 minutes for a year. 35,000 first year, 151,000 second year.

Lewis Howes 55:49 Amazing.

John Assaraf 55:50 20 years old. And I said, "Nobody's can take that away from me, 'cause I know it works." And not only did I learn it for myself, but then I taught it to my employees in my company.

Lewis Howes 55:59 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 55:59 We had 1,500 agents in Indiana, uh, plus all the staff in the offices. At Bamboo, we had fif- uh, 1,200 employees there.

Lewis Howes 56:08 Wow.

John Assaraf 56:08 Um, and, and now I've taught, you know, these principles, you know-

Lewis Howes 56:11 Amazing

John Assaraf 56:11 ... to our clients and, I mean, tens of thousands of clients all over the world.

Lewis Howes 56:14 Yeah. And I think, um, you know, some people get mixed up with the law of attraction, thinking that that's all they need to do.

John Assaraf 56:19 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 56:20 But then you spent 10, 15 hours a day executing and staying committed to it when the challenges c-

John Assaraf 56:24 The law of goya.

Lewis Howes 56:25 Yeah. When all the challenges came every day, you were committed to overcoming them-

John Assaraf 56:28 That's right

Lewis Howes 56:29 ... and building great habits and routines and taking massive action.

John Assaraf 56:32 Yeah. And when it, when it comes to the, you know, the, uh, the-

Lewis Howes 56:35 [clears throat]

John Assaraf 56:35 ... problems that come up every day, I mean, it's, it's like weather.

Lewis Howes 56:39 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 56:39 It's sunny for a little bit. It's raining, it's hailing, it's windy, it's not. That's life. And, and that goes back to where we started a little bit earlier about the frames-

Lewis Howes 56:48 Yeah

John Assaraf 56:48 ... is if you expect things to always be great, you're delusional.

Lewis Howes 56:51 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 56:51 If you expect things to always be bad, that may be a little bit-

Lewis Howes 56:55 It might happen. [laughs]

John Assaraf 56:56 It might happen. [laughs] Um, and so it's a matter of learning the frames-

Lewis Howes 56:59 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 56:59 ... and how do you frame stuff. So even when-

Lewis Howes 57:01 Yeah

John Assaraf 57:01 ... you know, I was going through this challenging, challenging times on, on a lot of fronts, um, the frame was still good.

Lewis Howes 57:07 Yeah.

John Assaraf 57:07 The frame was still good, 'cause I was just, it's, I know it's just a chapter.

Lewis Howes 57:10 Yep.

John Assaraf 57:10 And I know that-

Lewis Howes 57:10 It's gonna pass

John Assaraf 57:11 ... it'll pass, and I know that by taking all of my attention units, and, and that's so actually something we didn't talk about today, is every morning when you wake up, you have, let's say, let's say it's 10 attention units. If you're using two or three or four or five or six of them on what you can't-

Lewis Howes 57:24 What's an attention unit? What do you mean?

John Assaraf 57:25 An attention unit is your, uh, your ability to stay focused.

Lewis Howes 57:28 Uh-huh.

John Assaraf 57:29 And y- your ability to stay focused, um, is happening at the conscious and non-conscious level. So if you're processing stuff in the back of your mind, of something you're angry at, something you're mad at, something that's stressing you out, that j-

Lewis Howes 57:42 Hmm

John Assaraf 57:42 ... or you don't have enough money, or you don't have the right relationships or the contacts, whatever. If you're stressing out about that stuff, and that's eating up your attention units, that's like having your computer, okay, using up most of its energy in what's behind that you're not using.

Lewis Howes 57:57 Yeah.

John Assaraf 57:57 And we all have a certain amount of attention units every day. And so one of the things that, uh, you asked me before that I can come back to on the rituals-

Lewis Howes 58:06 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 58:06 ... um, is, is using the attention units in a way that is highly, highly productive versus, yeah, wasting a lot of time. And so my ritual, uh, we, we started earlier, I just remembered that, um-

Lewis Howes 58:19 That's right

John Assaraf 58:20 ... is, you know, wake up, meditation, exercise, uh, v- plant-based protein smoothie-

Lewis Howes 58:26 Hmm

John Assaraf 58:27 ... followed by reviewing my goals.

Lewis Howes 58:29 Hmm. Every day you review your goals.

John Assaraf 58:30 Ev- every, every day, five minutes.

Lewis Howes 58:32 The goals for the day, the month, the year.

John Assaraf 58:34 Everything. Everything.

Lewis Howes 58:34 Yeah.

John Assaraf 58:34 I, I review my overarching goals.

Lewis Howes 58:36 Wow.

John Assaraf 58:36 And I can do that fairly quickly-

Lewis Howes 58:38 Hmm

John Assaraf 58:38 ... 'cause that's my longer range goals. I can review the emotions that I want-

Lewis Howes 58:42 Hmm

John Assaraf 58:42 ... 'cause I'm committed to having those emotions every day and feeling a certain way every day. And then I take a look at from, you know, you know, five years out, three years, one year-

Lewis Howes 58:51 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 58:51 ... 90 days, 60 days, to today.

Lewis Howes 58:54 Wow.

John Assaraf 58:55 And so I just review it, and what happens-

Lewis Howes 58:56 You have a piece of paper, the iPad with-

John Assaraf 58:57 Laminated and on my computer.

Lewis Howes 58:58 Laminated. Really?

John Assaraf 58:59 Yeah. Yeah, and I have it in a m- in a, in a booklet also.

Lewis Howes 59:01 Really?

John Assaraf 59:02 So when I travel, it's real easy.

Lewis Howes 59:03 Do you have, do you have it with you, a booklet?

John Assaraf 59:04 I... No, no, it's, it's, uh, it's a pretty big-

Lewis Howes 59:06 Oh, oh gotcha, gotcha

John Assaraf 59:07 ... yeah. It's like a little manual.

Lewis Howes 59:08 You'll have to send me a photo so I can see it.

John Assaraf 59:09 Yeah. Yeah, I'll send you.

Lewis Howes 59:10 Yeah.

John Assaraf 59:10 It's called my Exceptional Life Blueprint.

Lewis Howes 59:11 I like it.

John Assaraf 59:12 And, um, and so the, the question many people may ask is, why? Why would you do that? Well, because you're having 35 to 50,000 thoughts a day, right? And your brain isn't certain, like, what's really important and what's not.

Lewis Howes 59:25 Yeah.

John Assaraf 59:25 But if you instruct your brain that something is really important, whether it's something you don't want or something you do, it will actually pay attention to you.

Lewis Howes 59:32 Right.

John Assaraf 59:33 So by priming my brain early every day, "Here is what I want you to focus on. Here are the emotions I want you to express through me. Here's the behaviors that I need to take," then I am on a daily basis setting the course for what I want my brain to focus on.

Lewis Howes 59:50 Hmm. Hmm.

John Assaraf 59:50 I am cognitively priming the pump.

Lewis Howes 59:53 Hmm.

John Assaraf 59:53 And if I do it one day, that's great. If I do it 60 days, 100 days, my brain goes, "Hey, I'm just gonna make this freaking automatic, 'cause I wanna conserve energy."

Lewis Howes 1:00:02 Right.

John Assaraf 1:00:03 Right? "I'm just gonna make it automatic." So not only will you focus on it consciously, I'm just gonna make everything happen behind the scenes to helps, help you see, think, and feel things that are congruent with what you're training your life for-

Lewis Howes 1:00:16 Sure, sure

John Assaraf 1:00:16 ... and what you wanna achieve. So I'm just using the system better.

Lewis Howes 1:00:19 Right. Okay, final few questions. I wanna go back to the question about, uh, the financial mindset.

John Assaraf 1:00:25 Hmm. Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:00:25 Because there's a lot of entrepreneurs who are listening, or those who are looking to make more money. Maybe they're at the, uh, five-figure months, maybe they're at the six-figure a year level, maybe they're at the seven figure and they, they've felt stuck for a while.

John Assaraf 1:00:38 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:00:38 How do we retrain our mind to break through that financial mindset limit?

John Assaraf 1:00:44 Yeah. There's something in the, um, um, weight loss industry field called a fat set point.

Lewis Howes 1:00:51 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:00:51 And every brain has a fat set point, and it basically states that you have a set point, just like a thermostat that's programmed in a room to have a set point. Um, we have fat set points. We have financial set points. We have relationship set points. We have these set points that we become accustomed to achieving.

Lewis Howes 1:01:10 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:01:10 And then all of the supporting evidence, the stories, the themes, the plot lines, the perceptions and behaviors all must match the set point. And so you can ask yourself two questions. Number one is, how did that set point get there?

Lewis Howes 1:01:23 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:01:23 And then how do I change it, right?

Lewis Howes 1:01:25 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:01:25 So how it got there is through all of your conditioning, through what you've read, what you've done, what you've experienced, what you've been told, what you've seen. All of that has created your financial set point-

Lewis Howes 1:01:36 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:01:36 ... based on your story. And so the first thing to recognize is the set point can be changed. And the question is, how?

Lewis Howes 1:01:44 [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:01:45 Right? And that's the million-dollar question.

Lewis Howes 1:01:46 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:01:46 So number one, uh, what drives behavior more than anything else? It's not skill. It's not knowledge. Skill and knowledge is potential power, but what does drive behavior more than anything else is beliefs. And so if there is a belief, um, in the brain that says, "Yes, you know, I think I'm capable of achieving double my income," we'll just use double my income, but there's another belief that opposes that, that causes what we c- uh, what we know is as neural, um, uh, dissonance. So it creates a chaotic vibration in the brain between the conscious and non-conscious mind. So the key is to get alignment between the new goal, which is a conscious pattern of thought-

Lewis Howes 1:02:27 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:02:27 ... that you can choose in an instant, and the non-conscious part of the brain around that goal.

Lewis Howes 1:02:33 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:02:34 So how do you develop a belief, right? So it's a pattern. So if I gave you a sentence and you said that sentence one time, you probably, it's great. It'd be a sentence like one of those, like hearing a line in a song one time.

Lewis Howes 1:02:47 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:02:48 But if you heard a line in a song repeatedly, 20, 30, 40, 50 times, and you had other associations with that to reinforce that pattern, then you would start to develop a non-conscious pattern through that. So we know that using, let's say, visualization-

Lewis Howes 1:03:04 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:03:05 ... you're actually bypassing the conscious mind, and you're accessing the visual cortex of the brain. It's a non-conscious process, the visual processor.

Lewis Howes 1:03:14 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:03:14 And so if we take words and we affirm them and we feel them and we visualize them, repeat them 100, 200, 500, 1,000 times, now we start to create a pattern at the non-conscious level that basically reinforces a conscious desire.

Lewis Howes 1:03:30 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:03:30 And so that's really why I developed NeuroGym. That is... That's the only reason why, 'cause we know that's what we can do and should do, and it works. And I just created the tools, the technology and the tools to do it faster than anything else-

Lewis Howes 1:03:43 Right

John Assaraf 1:03:43 ... in a variety of different-

Lewis Howes 1:03:44 Right

John Assaraf 1:03:44 ... evidence-based ways. So you start to see yourself at that new goal. You start to impress a new belief that seems foreign, unfamiliar, maybe even a little stupid-

Lewis Howes 1:03:55 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:03:55 ... at first.

Lewis Howes 1:03:56 Ridiculous, yeah.

John Assaraf 1:03:57 Yeah. It's like, "No, I'm not earning 100 grand a year. Uh, yes, I am." Well, no, you're not, and there's this battle. And you have to move from ignorance to awareness. So what do I mean by that? If you don't understand that every brain has an error detection mechanism within it-

Lewis Howes 1:04:14 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:04:14 ... okay? What is that?

Lewis Howes 1:04:15 [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:04:16 Any time you veer out of your comfort zone, the fat point setting or the financial s- anytime you veer out of it, the first line of defense is self-talk that's negative. That's the first-

Lewis Howes 1:04:30 [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:04:30 ... thing that pops up because your brain is going, "That's not true." So it's detecting an error between what you said as an affirmation or even what you just visualized or even what you just did against the predominant neural patterns-

Lewis Howes 1:04:44 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:04:45 ... that exist. So it's an 800-pound gorilla initially fighting the flea, right?

Lewis Howes 1:04:50 Right. [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:04:50 Dan Heath's book. Uh, and so what we wanna do is we wanna get the, the conscious goal, the vision, aligned with the non-conscious pattern. And as soon as you align that, you have neural coherence.

Lewis Howes 1:05:02 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:05:02 And when you have neural coherence, that's like hearing your most favorite band playing your favorite song, and you're just like, "Oh, that's the best."

Lewis Howes 1:05:12 Bliss, yeah.

John Assaraf 1:05:12 It's just bliss.

Lewis Howes 1:05:13 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:05:14 If it's not bliss, you're out of coherence. And so the key and why we start off really with meditation is awareness of, how do I tune in my vibration? How do I let go of that unempowered self-talk, that sentence, that thought that I had-

Lewis Howes 1:05:30 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:05:30 ... or that disempowering... It's an unpleasant, uh, feeling. Beliefs aren't good or bad. They're only pleasant to unpleasant at varying degrees. When we're out of coherence, it's unpleasant unless our life is on the line and safety is there. For the most part, you know, a fear of failing, where, where's that coming from? We failed our whole lives successfully.

Lewis Howes 1:05:52 Yeah. [laughs] Exactly.

John Assaraf 1:05:53 But the meaning that we're giving-

Lewis Howes 1:05:55 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:05:56 ... you know, uh, what people will say, what people will think, you know, how I'll be embarrassed or ashamed, those are all-

Lewis Howes 1:06:01 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:06:01 ... the things that you need to really get in tune with.

Lewis Howes 1:06:04 Yeah, yeah.

John Assaraf 1:06:04 And when you do that and you start to, to use affirmations and, um... You know, again, we, we just developed a, a, a mechanism using auditory brain stimulation to, to take the most powerful beliefs, the guided visualizations-

Lewis Howes 1:06:18 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:06:18 ... guided meditations, subliminal programming, um, to help people.

Lewis Howes 1:06:22 Hmm. I love it.

John Assaraf 1:06:23 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:06:23 I love it. Uh, couple final questions. What are you most grateful for in your life recently?

John Assaraf 1:06:29 To have, um, just turned 55-

Lewis Howes 1:06:31 Wow

John Assaraf 1:06:32 ... um, in the healthiest spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical place in my life.

Lewis Howes 1:06:38 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:06:39 To really have a deep connection with, uh, God. And, and I'm not religious. I'm just, God to me is the source of- All supply-

Lewis Howes 1:06:47 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:06:47 ... to everybody. So just to really feel that.

Lewis Howes 1:06:50 Amazing.

John Assaraf 1:06:51 Um, to have an amazing partner in my life, my wife. Uh, I've been through two divorces. Been married to my wife now for 11 years, been together for 17. My sons, Keenan and Noah, uh, just 19 years old-

Lewis Howes 1:07:02 Mm

John Assaraf 1:07:02 ... 21 years old, just champions of life.

Lewis Howes 1:07:05 That's cool.

John Assaraf 1:07:06 Um, my mom and dad are still alive. My brother and sister and I are happy and healthy and, um, I've got a thriving business doing s- what I love.

Lewis Howes 1:07:13 Mm.

John Assaraf 1:07:13 So it's a really good place of just-

Lewis Howes 1:07:15 That's cool

John Assaraf 1:07:15 ... being grateful for, for, you know, not fucking up my life with all the opportunities that I had. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:07:20 [laughs] Right. Right.

John Assaraf 1:07:20 You know? Um, but being, um, ready to, you know, uh, enjoy the next chapters.

Lewis Howes 1:07:27 Mm.

John Assaraf 1:07:27 The challenges, the good, the challenging, you know. Um-

Lewis Howes 1:07:30 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:07:30 ... I'm in a really good position to s- sail the oceans, you know-

Lewis Howes 1:07:34 Mm

John Assaraf 1:07:34 ... of life, regardless of how big the-

Lewis Howes 1:07:36 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:07:37 ... the, the storms are. And, you know, you know, even as I say it, it's like, "No, no, I don't want, I don't want any more big s- you know, big storms." But, but I'm well-equipped-

Lewis Howes 1:07:44 Sure. Sure

John Assaraf 1:07:44 ... to captain the ship a lot better now.

Lewis Howes 1:07:46 Well, what's one skill you haven't mastered yet that you want to master?

John Assaraf 1:07:52 Um, something that has really been on top of my mind is, um, being somebody who loves to write and somebody who loves to teach and share, there's, there's, uh, an art and a science to persuasion-

Lewis Howes 1:08:07 Mm

John Assaraf 1:08:07 ... that I haven't mastered. I'm pretty well-versed in it. Um, but that's a science of really, um, being able to affect the neurochemistry in somebody else's brain-

Lewis Howes 1:08:20 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:08:20 ... with what you say and how you act. I went to see a play last night and, you know, I'm sitting at a play and it's a musical with my wife and about eight other f- uh, eight other friends, and all of us were crying, you know, 'cause, 'cause the story is so good. So-

Lewis Howes 1:08:32 Mm

John Assaraf 1:08:32 ... the art of storytelling-

Lewis Howes 1:08:34 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:08:34 ... more.

Lewis Howes 1:08:35 It's a good skill.

John Assaraf 1:08:35 You know, just the art of storytelling more.

Lewis Howes 1:08:37 Those that can do that are unbelievable.

John Assaraf 1:08:38 Oh, yeah. And it's like-

Lewis Howes 1:08:39 Such a skill

John Assaraf 1:08:40 ... yeah, it's, it's, you're just going right into that-

Lewis Howes 1:08:42 That's cool

John Assaraf 1:08:42 ... that heart-centeredness of people.

Lewis Howes 1:08:44 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:08:44 So to be able to touch people. I, I tend to be, you know, a little too, uh, logical at times.

Lewis Howes 1:08:49 Uh-huh.

John Assaraf 1:08:49 So I want to get more into the... And I have, I've, I'm totally comfortable, you know, opening up my heart and talking about anything-

Lewis Howes 1:08:54 [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:08:54 ... but just telling that story. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:08:56 Sure, sure.

John Assaraf 1:08:56 You know, I want to go to the science. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:08:58 Yeah, of course.

John Assaraf 1:08:58 It's like, you know, so.

Lewis Howes 1:08:59 Um, this is a question I ask everyone at the end. It's called the three truths.

John Assaraf 1:09:02 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:09:03 So, uh, if it's the last day for you many, many years from now, you've achieved everything you want-

John Assaraf 1:09:07 Uh-huh

Lewis Howes 1:09:07 ... you learned everything you want to learn, uh, and all your books and work has been erased for whatever reason.

John Assaraf 1:09:13 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:09:13 And your, your friends and family give you a piece of paper and a pen and say, "Will you write down the three things you know to be true about everything you've experienced in life that you'd pass on to us?"

John Assaraf 1:09:22 Yeah. Well-

Lewis Howes 1:09:22 What would be those three truths?

John Assaraf 1:09:24 One, love yourself. So learn how to love yourself, number one. Uh, you can achieve anything you set your mind to achieve, and be a go giver as much as you are a go getter.

Lewis Howes 1:09:35 There you go. I like it.

John Assaraf 1:09:36 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:09:37 Uh, what should we be connecting with? Neurogym.com obviously is something everyone should go to and sign up for, but you have a Brain-A-Thon, correct?

John Assaraf 1:09:45 Uh, yeah. Yeah. For, for Neurogym, the, uh, website is myneurogym.com.

Lewis Howes 1:09:50 Myneurogym.com.

John Assaraf 1:09:51 Yeah. If they go to Neurogym, they'll f- they'll meet somebody who h- who has a rehab company-

Lewis Howes 1:09:54 Okay

John Assaraf 1:09:55 ... in, in Canada that's, uh, for rehab for brain injuries. So, uh, it's myneurogym.com.

Lewis Howes 1:10:00 Okay.

John Assaraf 1:10:00 Uh, but, uh, we have a Brain-A-Thon that's coming up and, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:10:04 And it's a free event-

John Assaraf 1:10:05 It's, yeah

Lewis Howes 1:10:05 ... online.

John Assaraf 1:10:06 Yeah. Basically what happens, a lot of people are fascinated with the people that I'm hanging around with, the top brain researchers in the world-

Lewis Howes 1:10:12 Mm

John Assaraf 1:10:12 ... the top, you know, mindset and emotional experts in the world. And so I d- started doing this Brain-A-Thon a few years ago.

Lewis Howes 1:10:20 Mm.

John Assaraf 1:10:20 And so this is gonna be our fifth annual Brain-A-Thon.

Lewis Howes 1:10:23 Amazing.

John Assaraf 1:10:23 And so it's myself and, you know, usually six or seven world-renowned brain experts. So we've got, you know, the upcoming one, we've got Dr. Srinivasen Pillay, uh, from Harvard, who won more awards than any other, uh, student at Harvard Psychiatry ever. Brilliant.

Lewis Howes 1:10:39 Wow.

John Assaraf 1:10:40 He'll be on with me. I've got, uh, Larry King's actually gonna help moderate a couple of the sections-

Lewis Howes 1:10:44 Yeah. That's great

John Assaraf 1:10:44 ... um, uh, with me as well. I've got Dr. Daniel Friedland, the former chairman of the, uh, uh, Integrative, uh, World Health Association.

Lewis Howes 1:10:52 Okay.

John Assaraf 1:10:52 Brilliant neuroscience researcher. Dr. Evan Gordon has got a MD and PhD specializing in the non-conscious brain, the stuff that, you know, a lot of people talk about in an airy-fairy way. This is top five experts in the world-

Lewis Howes 1:11:07 Mm

John Assaraf 1:11:07 ... um, that's gonna be on, on the show. I've got Sharon Pearson from Australia, who's the CEO of the Coaching Institute, who really helps people let go of their stories and excuses-

Lewis Howes 1:11:16 Mm

John Assaraf 1:11:17 ... and, uh, circumstances they think are holding them back. I've got Mark Waldman, written 12 books, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:11:22 Wow

John Assaraf 1:11:22 ... on the brain, spirituality, letting go of your, uh, fears, your letting go of your doubts, letting go of the negative self-talk-

Lewis Howes 1:11:29 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:11:29 ... that holds a lot of people back. So we've got a whole bunch-

Lewis Howes 1:11:32 Mm

John Assaraf 1:11:32 ... of these individuals, uh, plus a whole bunch of our clients that'll be on, four or five of our clients that, uh, we're showing here's how they're retraining their brain, here's how they're-

Lewis Howes 1:11:39 The results they got

John Assaraf 1:11:40 ... shattering their financial-

Lewis Howes 1:11:41 Yeah

John Assaraf 1:11:41 ... glass ceilings. But it's so much more than that. 'Cause once you understand that the power center is right within you and you learn how to just use the tools a little bit better-

Lewis Howes 1:11:50 Mm

John Assaraf 1:11:50 ... we've got the most powerful three-pound tool in the world-

Lewis Howes 1:11:53 Mm

John Assaraf 1:11:53 ... with no user's manual.

Lewis Howes 1:11:55 Right. [laughs]

John Assaraf 1:11:55 And so [laughs] we've got no user's manual.

Lewis Howes 1:11:57 Sure, sure.

John Assaraf 1:11:57 And, and so we teach people, here's the latest research. Here's how you can apply it to your life to be healthier, happier, make more money, get a better job, get a raise, start your business and do better by retraining your brain to be totally in aligned with your goals and dreams.

Lewis Howes 1:12:11 Mm.

John Assaraf 1:12:11 And le- and, and learning how do I stay focused? How do I stay motivated? Uh, how do I stay on track? How do I develop the habits that will empower me?

Lewis Howes 1:12:19 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:12:19 And how do I do the things that inspire me instead of the things that expire me?

Lewis Howes 1:12:23 There you go.

John Assaraf 1:12:24 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:12:24 Yourbrainathon.com.

John Assaraf 1:12:25 Yourbrainathon.com.

Lewis Howes 1:12:26 Awesome.

John Assaraf 1:12:26 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:12:26 We'll have it linked up and all that information, along with the new book you have coming out.

John Assaraf 1:12:30 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:12:30 We'll have that linked up, so-

John Assaraf 1:12:31 Awesome

Lewis Howes 1:12:31 ... make sure you guys get on the Brain-A-Thon, get the new book. What's it called again? In-

John Assaraf 1:12:35 The new book-

Lewis Howes 1:12:36 Inersize? Is it-

John Assaraf 1:12:37 ... is gonna be called Inersize.

Lewis Howes 1:12:38 Inersize, yes.

John Assaraf 1:12:39 So instead of exercise, Inersize.

Lewis Howes 1:12:40 I like it.

John Assaraf 1:12:41 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:12:41 I like it. Definitely get, uh, on board with what John's doing at n- myneurogym.com. Your, yourbrainathon?

John Assaraf 1:12:49 Yep.

Lewis Howes 1:12:49 What's it called? Yourbrainathon?

John Assaraf 1:12:50 Yep. Yourbrainathon.com-

Lewis Howes 1:12:51 Yep

John Assaraf 1:12:52 ... to sign up for our upcoming-

Lewis Howes 1:12:53 There you go

John Assaraf 1:12:53 ... uh, Brain-A-Thon with me and the other brain experts.

Lewis Howes 1:12:54 There you go. Um, before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, John, for your incredible ability to commit To transforming your life

John Assaraf 1:13:03 Thank you

Lewis Howes 1:13:04 And inspiring others to do the same. Again, the 19-year-old in you who made that decision to commit-

John Assaraf 1:13:08 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:13:09 ... has, uh, you know, transformed millions of lives around the world because-

John Assaraf 1:13:13 Thank you, my friend

Lewis Howes 1:13:13 ... of that decision, because of you constantly being a seeker of truth and information to support yourself and others. It's an incredible, um, you know, it's just amazing what you've been able to create for yourself, and to be such an inspiring symbol. Everything from your health to your attitude, to your energy, to your intelligence, to your love, it's a symbol of what's possible for everyone else.

John Assaraf 1:13:36 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:13:36 So I wanna acknowledge you for all the gifts-

John Assaraf 1:13:38 Thank you

Lewis Howes 1:13:38 ... you bring to the world.

John Assaraf 1:13:39 Thank you.

Lewis Howes 1:13:39 Yes.

John Assaraf 1:13:39 I t- took my mess, turned it into my message [laughs] .

Lewis Howes 1:13:41 I like it. I like it.

John Assaraf 1:13:42 Right?

Lewis Howes 1:13:42 I like it.

John Assaraf 1:13:43 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:13:43 Uh, the final question is, what is your definition of greatness?

John Assaraf 1:13:48 Hmm. You know, that's, um, that's a, a great question. I think feeling and knowing that you've used your life in a way that makes yourself proud.

Lewis Howes 1:14:06 Mm.

John Assaraf 1:14:06 That you're proud of. You, you've felt like, "What a journey, and, uh, I left it all out on the field, and I just left it all on the field." That's m- my own greatness.

Lewis Howes 1:14:16 Mm.

John Assaraf 1:14:16 You know, is knowing that I used my life in a way that I left it all out on the field, that the, the, the bruises, the bangs, you know, the trials, the tribulations-

Lewis Howes 1:14:24 Mm

John Assaraf 1:14:25 ... the highs, the lows, that, that you used it. You, that you, you used it. For me, and, and that's actually... I'm gonna just back... I made a commitment to myself that I will never meet my maker and feel like I should have done more. So I'm willing to go through whatever-

Lewis Howes 1:14:44 Mm-hmm

John Assaraf 1:14:44 ... to never, ever feel that.

Lewis Howes 1:14:47 Right.

John Assaraf 1:14:49 I don't want to be one of my friends that I've had who've squandered 20, 30, 40 years of their life. I don't wanna be the person that says, "I wish I would've, I wish I could've." I don't wanna be that person. I won't. So there's a part of me that, you know, um, and this is something that, that will give people a good frame. I'm afraid of that.

Lewis Howes 1:15:08 Yeah.

John Assaraf 1:15:08 So there's two ways to look at fear, right? So a lot of people, when something's, you know, they're afraid of, it's pushing them backwards, and I chose to take fear and put it behind me to push me forward. So that's how you could take your fear and turn it into your fuel.

Lewis Howes 1:15:26 Hmm.

John Assaraf 1:15:27 Right? So I just choose to reframe it. I don't want that. I'm aware of that. Great, how do I use that to move me forward?

Lewis Howes 1:15:34 Mm-hmm.

John Assaraf 1:15:35 So it's just a shift in how I perceive it, and so I wanna, I wanna learn, I wanna grow, I wanna love. Like, I, I don't want to feel like I could've loved more, I could've-

Lewis Howes 1:15:44 Hmm

John Assaraf 1:15:44 ... given more, I could've become more, I could've tried. I don't wanna ever feel that the day I die.

Lewis Howes 1:15:50 Hmm.

John Assaraf 1:15:51 And every, any day that I do, I just get out of it. [snap] Come on, [snap] nope.

Lewis Howes 1:15:55 Right.

John Assaraf 1:15:55 Today may be the day you die.

Lewis Howes 1:15:56 Sure. There you go.

John Assaraf 1:15:57 Today may be the day that, this moment may be the moment you die. So nope, [snap] that, that's not gonna happen. So it's a really wonderful motivator for me.

Lewis Howes 1:16:05 Hmm.

John Assaraf 1:16:05 Fear is a great motivator for me.

Lewis Howes 1:16:07 Yeah. There you go. John, thanks for coming on.

John Assaraf 1:16:09 There you go. Thanks, man.

Lewis Howes 1:16:09 Appreciate it. Hey, guys. Thanks so much for watching this video. I really appreciate it, and if you enjoyed this video, then make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel. You can do that by clicking right here to subscribe, 'cause each week we come out with awesome, epic, and inspiring interviews and messages and videos just for you. So click subscribe right here to get notified of new videos every week. Also, if you enjoyed this specific interview, we've got a lot of great interviews like this that are uplifting and inspiring, so click right here to watch the previous interviews, because the people I've had on are pretty cool and epic as well. So click here to watch previous interviews. Click here to subscribe. I love you guys, and I'll see you very soon.