REPROGRAM Your Mind To DESTROY LAZINESS & PROCRASTINATION Today! | Rory Vaden

1. 0:00 – 7:48

   Why We Procrastinate: Three Types of Procrastination

   1. RVRory Vaden0:00

      The human brain is not designed for success. The human brain is designed for survival. Survival is about conserving energy. Success is the opposite. Success is about expending energy, doing things that are uncomfortable. If you do this, if you struggle with procrastination, if you've made bad choices, it doesn't mean you're doomed for failure. It actually means-

   2. LHLewis Howes0:18

      I think you gotta have a dream

   3. LHLewis Howes0:19

      The School of Greatness.

   4. LHLewis Howes0:21

      Really? [laughs]

   5. RVRory Vaden0:21

      Yeah.

   6. LHLewis Howes0:22

      Please welcome Lewis Howes.

   7. LHLewis Howes0:24

      We are talking about the science of success and how to really achieve anything that you can imagine in your life.

   8. RVRory Vaden0:31

      Yeah.

   9. LHLewis Howes0:31

      Your biggest goals, your biggest dreams. But a lot of people have dreams, they have big goals, but most people never accomplish them.

   10. RVRory Vaden0:39

       Uh-huh.

   11. LHLewis Howes0:39

       Why is that?

   12. RVRory Vaden0:40

       So the number one enemy, I think, that is working against people, that they don't even realize, is procrastination.

   13. LHLewis Howes0:48

       Okay.

   14. RVRory Vaden0:48

       Um-

   15. LHLewis Howes0:49

       Why do we procrastinate?

   16. RVRory Vaden0:50

       So there's a number of reasons. There's a number of reasons why we procrastinate. The number one reason, according to psychologists, why we procrastinate is because of self-criticism.

   17. LHLewis Howes0:59

       Really?

   18. RVRory Vaden0:59

       It's thinking that I won't be good enough, that I'm not, you know, I'm not smart enough, I'm not capable, so why should I even bother? Like, or this isn't gonna work out for me. And, and there's a lot of extraordinary pressure with that. But there's three types of procrastination-

   19. LHLewis Howes1:15

       Yep

   20. RVRory Vaden1:15

       ... that, uh... And, and, and most of us are aware only of the first type. So, so classic procrastination is consciously delaying what we know we should be doing, right? So I've, I have some bills on the counter. I know I should pay them, but I'm tired and I'm exhausted, right?

   21. LHLewis Howes1:31

       Yeah.

   22. RVRory Vaden1:31

       So rather than paying the bills, I'm gonna, like, Netflix and chill and, like, not pay my bills.

   23. LHLewis Howes1:36

       So that's the first type of procrastination.

   24. RVRory Vaden1:37

       Okay. The second one-

   25. LHLewis Howes1:38

       Which, which is...

   26. RVRory Vaden1:39

       Classic procrastination

   27. LHLewis Howes1:40

       ... classic procrastination.

   28. RVRory Vaden1:42

       Yeah. The second one is actually one I identified in my own life, um-

   29. LHLewis Howes1:46

       [laughs]

   30. RVRory Vaden1:46

       ... back when we were doing the research for, for this, um, which is, is funny because, you know, when Take the Stairs came out, suddenly I'm supposed to be, like, one of the world's experts or whatever on procrastination, and here I struggle with procrastination in my own life. So rather, um, than calling myself a procrastinator, I invented this new term, which I really love-
2. 7:48 – 9:07

   Discipline and the Take the Stairs Metaphor

   1. RVRory Vaden7:48

      So, you know, the question is, all right, if procrastination is problem, what's the solution?

   2. LHLewis Howes7:54

      Right.

   3. RVRory Vaden7:54

      And I really believe the solution can be boiled down to one word, and it's a word that nobody likes.

   4. LHLewis Howes8:00

      [laughs]

   5. RVRory Vaden8:01

      Um, it's discipline.

   6. LHLewis Howes8:02

      Yeah.

   7. RVRory Vaden8:03

      And it's not hard work. There's, there's a di- there's a difference.

   8. LHLewis Howes8:06

      Right.

   9. RVRory Vaden8:06

      There's a distinction. Discipline is doing the things you know you should be doing even when you don't feel like doing them. If you can develop the ability to do that, then you literally have unlocked the ability-

   10. LHLewis Howes8:20

       Mm

   11. RVRory Vaden8:20

       ... to do anything in life, which unlocks the ability to achieve virtually anything.

   12. LHLewis Howes8:25

       Yeah, and I think Greg McKeown was talking about, you know, the effortless pursuit of accomplishing. Like, how can we... What's the, the... There's, like, the path of resistance that will get you there, but when you know you need to take the hard path, how can you make it feel effortless? How can you play games with yourself when you gotta do chores? How can you sing a song when you're mopping the floor? Whatever it is, how can you make it feel effortless so it's not like, "This is exhausting and draining," and, "Oh, I gotta do this in order to get somewhere in 10 years." It's how can I reframe my mind around the activity to support me in having energy in the thing I don't wanna do?

3. 9:07 – 19:18

   The Paradox Principle of Sacrifice: Buffalo, Cows and Storms

   1. RVRory Vaden9:07

      So let's talk-

   2. LHLewis Howes9:07

      Not be drained by the thing that I don't wanna do.

   3. RVRory Vaden9:10

      Yes. So that is the first principle, actually. It's called the paradox principle of sacrifice.

   4. LHLewis Howes9:14

      Mm.

   5. RVRory Vaden9:14

      So, um, now you mentioned Greg McKeown. Um, i- his, you know, Essentialism was his big, like, breakout book. Um, and the, the whole message of that book is the disciplined pursuit of less.

   6. LHLewis Howes9:27

      Really?

   7. RVRory Vaden9:27

      That's what-

   8. LHLewis Howes9:27

      Not, not trying to do everything.

   9. RVRory Vaden9:29

      It's... No. Yeah, just the pursuit of less.

   10. LHLewis Howes9:32

       Mm.

   11. RVRory Vaden9:32

       That's what Essentialism... That's how he describes it, the discipline-

   12. LHLewis Howes9:34

       Being disciplined by focusing on-

   13. RVRory Vaden9:37

       By focusing-

   14. LHLewis Howes9:37

       ... less things

   15. RVRory Vaden9:38

       ... on, on less things that are more significant, right? So but you bring up the conversation of going, okay, well, you know, people here take the stairs, and it's like, "Well, I don't wanna take the stair-" You know, it's like, "I don't want the hard work." And you have to reframe it. So here's the paradox principle. Um, in fact, I'm gonna tell you a story. So in Colorado, where I grew up-

   16. LHLewis Howes9:59

       Mm-hmm

   17. RVRory Vaden9:59

       ... we are world famous for the Rocky Mountains.

   18. LHLewis Howes10:03

       Yes.

   19. RVRory Vaden10:03

       Okay, so to the western part of the state, we have the great Rocky Mountains. Um, what a lot of people don't realize about Colorado is that as a, as a state, it's divided almost exactly in half, and to the eastern part of the state are the Great Kansas Plains, so it's really flat.

   20. LHLewis Howes10:18

       Mm-hmm.

   21. RVRory Vaden10:19

       Because of that unique topographical landscape, Colorado's one of the only places in the world that has both buffalo and cows in very close proximity to each other.

   22. LHLewis Howes10:29

       Mm. Interesting.

   23. RVRory Vaden10:29

       Um, have I ever told you this? I don't think I've ever shared this with you.

   24. LHLewis Howes10:32

       I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah.

   25. RVRory Vaden10:32

       Okay. So what happens, um-

   26. LHLewis Howes10:34

       [laughs]

   27. RVRory Vaden10:35

       There's a fascinating lesson to learn about greatness and achievement and success from studying the way that these two creatures respond to storms. So when a storm comes, storms almost always brew, start in the west, and they, like, brew in the west, and then they roll out towards the east. And what cows do is very natural. Cows can sense that a storm is coming from this direction. And so a cow will turn east to run away from the storm. Now, the only problem with that is-

   28. LHLewis Howes11:05

       It's gonna catch up to them [laughs]

   29. RVRory Vaden11:06

       ... it catches up with them, right? So the storm catches them, and, and without knowing any better, the cows continue to try to outrun the storm.

   30. LHLewis Howes11:13

       Mm. And-
4. 19:18 – 25:36

   The Buy-In Principle of Commitment: Ask How, Not Should

   1. RVRory Vaden19:18

      Yeah, so the second one is the buy-in principle of commitment. Um, and this is really interesting. So whenever we're forced to make a choice, a decision about something that is, is hard, um, there's two types of energy that are expended in our decision-making. Uh, we have a visual for this that's called-

   2. LHLewis Howes19:38

      Mm-hmm

   3. RVRory Vaden19:38

      ... the, the commitment continuum. And so basically, you know, uh, the first type of energy is the one that we all think of. It's the physical energy required to execute the decision. Um, for example, you know, let's just take an easy one like New Year's resolution, I'm gonna lose weight.

   4. LHLewis Howes19:56

      Mm-hmm.

   5. RVRory Vaden19:57

      Right? When the time comes to go to the, to the gym, the thought process for most of us sounds like this. We say, "Do I feel like working out right now?" And what's the answer to that question?

   6. LHLewis Howes20:10

      No.

   7. RVRory Vaden20:10

      No, never. I don't feel like working out now or ever.

   8. LHLewis Howes20:13

      Yeah. [laughs]

   9. RVRory Vaden20:13

      And for many people, most people, that's the end of the conversation. Um, the human brain is not designed for success. The human brain is designed for survival.

   10. LHLewis Howes20:26

       Right.

   11. RVRory Vaden20:26

       Survival is about conserving energy. Success is the opposite. Success is about expending energy, doing things that are uncomfortable. So it doesn't mean w- if you do this, if you struggle with procrastination, if you've made bad choices, it doesn't mean you're doomed for failure. It actually means you have a perfectly functioning, healthy, normal human brain.

   12. LHLewis Howes20:45

       Mm-hmm.

   13. RVRory Vaden20:45

       But success is not normal. Success is not average. Success is not what most people experience. If you are trying to experience success, you need to rewire literally the neural pathways in your brain. It is a neurological rewiring that you're doing to yourself. It's like you're reprogramming-

   14. LHLewis Howes21:04

       Mm

   15. RVRory Vaden21:04

       ... your own computer.

   16. LHLewis Howes21:05

       Right. Right.

   17. RVRory Vaden21:06

       And part of that is knowing that, um, we learn from the ultra performers, there's another type of energy expended in our decision-making which isn't physical energy, it's emotional energy. And what we learned is that there's emotional energy expended in simply making decisions. And in fact, very often the emotional energy of making the decision is much greater-

   18. LHLewis Howes21:31

       Mm

   19. RVRory Vaden21:31

       ... than the physical energy of executing the decision. And if you think about the gym example, it's not getting ourselves onto the treadmill once we're at the gym that's the hard part. It's when we're sitting on the couch deciding-

   20. LHLewis Howes21:44

       Right [laughs]

   21. RVRory Vaden21:45

       ... whether or not-

   22. LHLewis Howes21:46

       To go to the gym

   23. RVRory Vaden21:46

       ... to go to the gym.

   24. LHLewis Howes21:47

       Yeah.

   25. RVRory Vaden21:48

       But once you get there, the physical energy is there. It's the emotional energy that is clouding the decision. It is making it feel worse than it actually is.

   26. LHLewis Howes21:58

       Is that why it's important to, when you make the commitment, to schedule the commitments in?

   27. RVRory Vaden22:03

       Um, yeah, I mean, that helps. Every, every, every little thing helps.

   28. LHLewis Howes22:07

       Right.

   29. RVRory Vaden22:07

       But, so, so here's, here's the strategy to follow through on commitments that, um, you make that become difficult, which happens.

   30. LHLewis Howes22:16

       Yes.
5. 25:36 – 35:24

   Focus and Sheehan's Wall

   1. LHLewis Howes25:36

      How does someone stay focused when life happens?

   2. RVRory Vaden25:38

      You-

   3. LHLewis Howes25:39

      When you go through a, a, someone dies in the family, when the pandemic hits, when you go bankrupt, whatever. Someone breaks up with you, you lose your job. How do you stay focused under extreme emotional breakdown?

   4. RVRory Vaden25:55

      Well, you can't allow your, you can't allow your ability to stay focused to be dependent on your circumstances.

   5. LHLewis Howes26:00

      Yeah.

   6. RVRory Vaden26:00

      'Cause there's always circumstances.

   7. LHLewis Howes26:02

      Always.

   8. RVRory Vaden26:02

      Always. You're, you're... There's always something going on in your life that's creating challenge and difficulty and pressure.

   9. LHLewis Howes26:09

      So it's almost like certain things need to be non-negotiables.

   10. RVRory Vaden26:12

       Yeah. You decide. So, so, so here's what you do is it is you decide. You have to decide each and every day consciously, intentionally-

   11. LHLewis Howes26:21

       Mm-hmm

   12. RVRory Vaden26:21

       ... deliberately. Um, I know we did another episode on multiplying time and the focus funnel.

   13. LHLewis Howes26:26

       Yes.

   14. RVRory Vaden26:26

       That, that is kind of a framework that's from the Procrastinate on Purpose, my second book, about how to figure out what to focus on. But at the end of the day, you just have to decide what you are willing to and, and, and wanting to go after, and realizing that until you accomplish those things, everything else in your life is a distraction.

   15. LHLewis Howes26:48

       Mm-hmm.

   16. RVRory Vaden26:48

       Everything else is a distraction. But, but focus is power, and when you have diluted focus, you get diluted results.

   17. LHLewis Howes26:55

       Right.

   18. RVRory Vaden26:56

       Most people are getting diluted results in their life, not because they're not smart enough or not good enough. It's because they're distracted.

   19. LHLewis Howes27:03

       Mm.

   20. RVRory Vaden27:03

       They are allowing their time, attention, and resources to fragment, to dissipate, to disintegrate, to spread, and what you need is focused energy-

   21. LHLewis Howes27:15

       Mm-hmm

   22. RVRory Vaden27:15

       ... to create a, a, a breakthrough.

   23. LHLewis Howes27:18

       And this, this is the example of Sheehan's Wall, right?

   24. RVRory Vaden27:20

       Yeah. We talk about that with personal brands.

   25. LHLewis Howes27:22

       What is, what is She- who is Sheehan?

   26. RVRory Vaden27:25

       [laughs]

   27. LHLewis Howes27:25

       And what is the Sheehan Wall?

   28. RVRory Vaden27:26

       Who is Sheehan and what's his wall?

   29. LHLewis Howes27:27

       I, I always love this concept, though. Um-

   30. RVRory Vaden27:29

       So Sheehan's Wall is a, is a, a-
6. 35:24 – 42:22

   The Creation Principle of Integrity

   1. RVRory Vaden35:24

      Well, so to me, integrity is simply the congruence between your words and your actions. Um, but people underestimate the importance and the value of the spoken word as it, it is connected to creating the life that they want.

   2. LHLewis Howes35:41

      Mm-hmm.

   3. RVRory Vaden35:42

      All of creation follows a very simple pattern. All of creation. You think it, you speak it, you act, and if you have integrity, it happens.

   4. LHLewis Howes35:53

      Mm.

   5. RVRory Vaden35:53

      You think it, you speak it, you act, it happens. You think it, you speak it, you act, it, it happens. Everything from this table to this building is somebody had an idea, they thought it, then they spoke it. They wrote it out, they told somebody, they created a plan, then they acted. They, they, they built it, and then it was real, and somebody sold it, right? Like, you think it, you speak it, you act, it happens.

   6. LHLewis Howes36:15

      And if you had integrity throughout the entire process-

   7. RVRory Vaden36:17

      It's gonna accelerate it. It's gonna be more likely to come true

   8. LHLewis Howes36:20

      ... and if you don't have integrity-

   9. RVRory Vaden36:21

      It's not gonna come true. Because, because the, um, words are the first manifestation of our ideas into reality.

   10. LHLewis Howes36:32

       Mm-hmm.

   11. RVRory Vaden36:33

       Um, you know, people have different religious beliefs, but if, if you look at a- ancient scripture, um, just the, the Bible strictly from the purpose of how does it say that God created the world? It says He spoke the world into existence.

   12. LHLewis Howes36:47

       Wow.

   13. RVRory Vaden36:48

       And then it says that we were created in His image, which if that's true, that means we have the same power. Now, whatever your religious beliefs are, are what they are, but it's, it's kind of irrefutable to say, "Look, I- As I say something, if people know that I am someone who does what I say I'm gonna do-

   14. LHLewis Howes37:06

       Yeah

   15. RVRory Vaden37:07

       ... it's easier for them to rally behind me. It's easier for them to support me. Like, if, if I say, we- let's meet up for lunch tomorrow at 11, and you trust me, you're gonna be there.

   16. LHLewis Howes37:16

       Mm.

   17. RVRory Vaden37:17

       But if I say, "Yeah, we should meet up for lunch tomorrow at 11:00," and you're like, "He's not gonna be there."

   18. LHLewis Howes37:20

       Right.

   19. RVRory Vaden37:20

       Like, or, "He'll be there 11:30," it, my integrity affects my integrity-

   20. LHLewis Howes37:26

       Mm

   21. RVRory Vaden37:26

       ... and my track record of the alignment between my words and actions actually shapes the way the world externally responds to me and everything that I do.

   22. LHLewis Howes37:36

       Mm-hmm.

   23. RVRory Vaden37:36

       As I am known for integrity, people put a lot of stock and weight and trust into what I say, and they align around it.

   24. LHLewis Howes37:43

       Yes.

   25. RVRory Vaden37:44

       As there is a breakdown or a breach of my integrity, then, um, people don't put much stock and weight and trust, and they don't align around it. But, you know, if Oprah says sh- she wants to do something, the whole world will jump to align around it.

   26. LHLewis Howes37:58

       Mm-hmm.

   27. RVRory Vaden37:58

       You know? Um, it, she has that, that trust, that stock.

   28. LHLewis Howes38:02

       How, how does someone learn the art of being 100% in integrity when we are flawed, broken human beings that will probably in some way, shape, or form always be a little bit out of integrity on being exactly on time, or there's breakdowns or traffic, you know, it's-

   29. RVRory Vaden38:20

       Sure

   30. LHLewis Howes38:20

       How do we learn the art of being the best level of integrity we can be?
7. 42:22 – 48:19

   The Harvest Principle of Schedule: Seasons Over Balance

   1. RVRory Vaden42:22

      Yeah. So, um, when people think of time, you know, the most common thing they hear of is, the concept they hear the most is balance. I think balance is a horrible metaphor-

   2. LHLewis Howes42:38

      Mm

   3. RVRory Vaden42:38

      ... for how we spend our time because, um, balance by definition means equal force in opposite directions, right? So for these to be balanced-

   4. LHLewis Howes42:52

      Right

   5. RVRory Vaden42:52

      ... they would be equal force in opposite directions. That metaphor applied to our life and specifically our time suggests pretty directly that in order to, you know, achieve s- happiness or whatever, that we would spend equal time On different activities.

   6. LHLewis Howes43:09

      Mm-hmm.

   7. RVRory Vaden43:10

      Well, it's not only a discordant metaphor, it's, it's virtually an impossible pursuit. I mean, if you sleep eight hours a day and you work eight hours a day, then the only way you could ever achieve balance is to do one other activity, and it would have to be that one activity eight hours a day. It just doesn't make sense. It's impractical. The other thing is, the truth about achieving results is that, first of all, it doesn't take the same amount of time to achieve great results in different areas of our life. You don't have to work out... Good news, you don't have to work out eight hours every day-

   8. LHLewis Howes43:40

      Right

   9. RVRory Vaden43:41

      ... to be really healthy.

   10. LHLewis Howes43:42

       Yeah.

   11. RVRory Vaden43:42

       Now, if you wanna be The Rock, you probably gotta work out four hours every day.

   12. LHLewis Howes43:45

       Right, right.

   13. RVRory Vaden43:46

       Okay? But if you just wanna be healthy, you might work out 30 minutes a day-

   14. LHLewis Howes43:49

       Yeah

   15. RVRory Vaden43:49

       ... and be, like, in the, the top 10% of health-

   16. LHLewis Howes43:53

       Yeah

   17. RVRory Vaden43:53

       ... you know, in, in just, in America.

   18. LHLewis Howes43:54

       Just eat well.

   19. RVRory Vaden43:55

       Eat well, exercise, right? Y- um, every day. That's good news. You also don't have to spend eight hours every day with your spouse-

   20. LHLewis Howes44:03

       Mm

   21. RVRory Vaden44:03

       ... to have a deep relationship.

   22. LHLewis Howes44:05

       No.

   23. RVRory Vaden44:05

       In many cases, you-

   24. LHLewis Howes44:06

       Eight hours a day with your spouse over 10 years-

   25. RVRory Vaden44:08

       [laughs]

   26. LHLewis Howes44:09

       ... you might ruin the relationship. [laughs]

   27. RVRory Vaden44:11

       [laughs] The... It's, it's more about dedicated, a focused relationship, talking about things that are really deep and, and, and personal-

   28. LHLewis Howes44:18

       Right

   29. RVRory Vaden44:19

       ... intimate.

   30. LHLewis Howes44:19

       Yes.
8. 48:19 – 51:30

   The Perspective Principle of Faith

   1. RVRory Vaden48:19

      Thank you. Um, yeah, so real quick, so the perspective principle of faith is number six-

   2. LHLewis Howes48:24

      Yes

   3. RVRory Vaden48:24

      ... uh, which is my favorite of the seven because, um, it is... The other six are all strategies to achieve. The perspective principle of faith is all about how do ultra-performers respond to failure.

   4. LHLewis Howes48:36

      Mm.

   5. RVRory Vaden48:37

      Uh, the short of it is just this, that faith is choosing to believe that what is happening now is somehow for a greater good later on.

   6. LHLewis Howes48:47

      It's so hard for people to think that way.

   7. RVRory Vaden48:49

      Hard.

   8. LHLewis Howes48:49

      It's... A- I, I believe that's the only way you can think in order to not go crazy-

   9. RVRory Vaden48:56

      Yeah

   10. LHLewis Howes48:56

       ... in some level because there's so much pain. There's so much unfairness in the world for a lot of people. There's so many things that you wish didn't happen to you, friends, family, loved ones, that happen, and they're gonna continue to happen. And we can either Live in pain and suffering and frustration and resentment and anger of the world or whatever unfairness has happened, or we can choose to have faith that this is happening for a greater cause, a greater reason, and I don't know what it's gonna be. Maybe I'll know in a year, maybe it takes 20 years. Maybe I'll never know and I'm, and someone else will know. But you've gotta learn that principle.

   11. RVRory Vaden49:39

       You have to make that choice. It's the hardest of the seven choices-

   12. LHLewis Howes49:42

       [sighs]

   13. RVRory Vaden49:42

       ... but it is most, most significant in the long term. I actually once heard someone describe heaven as a bunch of people walking around going, "Oh, now I see why that happened."

   14. LHLewis Howes49:51

       Right.

   15. RVRory Vaden49:51

       "Now I see why that happened." One little shortcut on this, um, because pain is, is real and we live in a broken world and it's painful. When you're experiencing pain, the healthiest and, and I think like the only way to respond to it is to, is to, is to choose to believe that the pain you're going through is preparing you to become the person you one day need to be for somebody else.

   16. LHLewis Howes50:14

       Oh, man.

   17. RVRory Vaden50:15

       Otherwise-

   18. LHLewis Howes50:16

       That's good

   19. RVRory Vaden50:16

       ... [sighs] I run out of endurance. Otherwise, I give up. My discipline is gone, right?

   20. LHLewis Howes50:20

       Otherwise, you'll go into addiction or drinking-

   21. RVRory Vaden50:23

       That's right

   22. LHLewis Howes50:23

       ... or binge eating or binge-

   23. RVRory Vaden50:24

       Yeah

   24. LHLewis Howes50:24

       ... watching, and you'll just say, "What's the point?"

   25. RVRory Vaden50:26

       We could do a whole-

   26. LHLewis Howes50:28

       What's the point?

   27. RVRory Vaden50:28

       ... a whole nother conversation on this at some point.

   28. LHLewis Howes50:30

       What's the point? Why do I even show up?

   29. RVRory Vaden50:31

       Why?

   30. LHLewis Howes50:31

       This is unfair. This happened. I lost my child. I, I got injured or why is this happening?
9. 51:30 – 55:19

   The Pendulum Principle, the Rent Axiom, and Accountability

   1. RVRory Vaden51:30

      Last one is the pendulum principle of action.

   2. LHLewis Howes51:32

      [laughs] The pendulum principle of action.

   3. RVRory Vaden51:34

      Okay, I'm not gonna tell you the whole story, but here, here's what I will tell you with, and this is a good, a good thing to leave you with, is that, um, you know, all of these are difficult decisions. They're difficult choices. It's, it's a decision to take the stairs in every area of life, in every way. It's the truth of greatness. It's the truth of every success story. Success is never an accident.

   4. LHLewis Howes51:53

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   5. RVRory Vaden51:54

      Um, it, it is, um... But it is deciding every day to keep going.

   6. LHLewis Howes52:02

      Yeah.

   7. RVRory Vaden52:03

      Um, it's something that we call the rent axiom, which is that success is never owned. Success is only rented, and the rent is due every day.

   8. LHLewis Howes52:12

      Mm-hmm.

   9. RVRory Vaden52:12

      And the rent is paid through the small, seemingly insignificant trivial choices that we make each and every day, and success is simply the, the trajectory of those choices compounded over time in your life. But to become, you know, a, a, a multimillionaire is not some big extravagant event that happens overnight. Um, it is small decisions made repeatedly-

   10. LHLewis Howes52:40

       Mm-hmm

   11. RVRory Vaden52:40

       ... and a decision and a commitment to make them each and every day.

   12. LHLewis Howes52:44

       What's the Muhammad Ali quote about service is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth or something like that?

   13. RVRory Vaden52:51

       I don't know. I don't think I've heard that one. That sounds like a good one.

   14. LHLewis Howes52:53

       Something like service is the, the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.

   15. RVRory Vaden52:57

       I like that.

   16. LHLewis Howes52:58

       Something or other, house here on Earth.

   17. RVRory Vaden52:59

       Something like that.

   18. LHLewis Howes53:00

       And I think if you can take action, uh, and be in service with your action to whatever your gift is, whatever your truth is in that season of life, and you can be a, a greater good through your actions some way, somehow, then that's gonna even multiply what's coming for you in the future.

   19. RVRory Vaden53:18

       Absolutely. And, and, you know, one thing that is huge of, of this is we have, we have seen and, and we have some data that proves that the, the more accountability you have in your life around these principles, the more likely you are to succeed.

   20. LHLewis Howes53:32

       Mm.

   21. RVRory Vaden53:32

       Um, and it just makes sense. You are who your friends are.

   22. LHLewis Howes53:35

       Mm-hmm.

   23. RVRory Vaden53:36

       But we don't live in a take the stairs world. We live in an escalator world.

   24. LHLewis Howes53:40

       Right.

   25. RVRory Vaden53:40

       Most of the world is looking for shortcuts, uh, and quick fixes. You have to surround yourself with take the stairs people.

   26. LHLewis Howes53:47

       Mm-hmm.

   27. RVRory Vaden53:47

       People doing the things that other people aren't willing to do.

   28. LHLewis Howes53:51

       Growth-minded people, and you need accountability. It's hard to stay focused, to commit, to be in integrity, to manage your schedule, to-

   29. RVRory Vaden54:01

       Make sacrifices

   30. LHLewis Howes54:01

       ... to make sacrifices, and to-
10. 55:19 – 1:00:49

    Six High-Performance Habits: Seeking Clarity

    1. SPSpeaker55:19

       In one interview with one of the world's largest, uh, CTOs, chief technology officers, he said, "Brendan," you know, they're, they're a top 10 brand in the world. He said, "We We don't, uh... He said, "My team..." He said, "I'm not creative. My team's not creative, but we know how to execute and scale, and execution and scale is really important to long-term high performance. Creativity might get you in the game, but a lot of people are creative but can't work their way out of a bag."

    2. LHLewis Howes55:41

       Mm-hmm.

    3. SPSpeaker55:42

       And I was like, "I would argue that forever 'cause I'm a creative. I'm a writer and a coach and tr-" I would have never thought that. Um, age, nationality, ethnicity, and here's a big one, compensation. Here's a big one, personality. Here's a big one, strengths. They are not correlated strongly with high performance. Some of them have weak correlations.

    4. LHLewis Howes56:02

       Mm-hmm.

    5. SPSpeaker56:02

       And all those things, by the way, 'cause if academics are listening to that, they're like, "No, he's wrong."

    6. LHLewis Howes56:05

       [laughs]

    7. SPSpeaker56:07

       And this is tied towards high performance. It's not that those aren't important. Those things can shape your mood. They can shape, you know-

    8. LHLewis Howes56:13

       Mm-hmm

    9. SPSpeaker56:13

       ... uh, lots of important life outcomes, well-being, health, happiness, but when we're talking about high performance, those are less important than these six. And what I keep telling people is, "I'm not saying those aren't important. These just happen to be more important." So the six habits, you want me to do those?

    10. LHLewis Howes56:26

        Sure. Yeah, yeah.

    11. SPSpeaker56:28

        So the personal habits, and these are the ones that move the needle the most.

    12. LHLewis Howes56:30

        Mm-hmm.

    13. SPSpeaker56:31

        Number one, high performers... You'll like this one. High performers seek clarity more often than their peers.

    14. LHLewis Howes56:39

        Mm.

    15. SPSpeaker56:39

        And what that means for them is every situation they go into, they're seeking clarity and setting an intention. And it's not like once in a while. They're doing it way more often. It's like, uh, uh, you, you know, I've been blessed to work with Oprah Winfrey. When she has a meeting, at the start of every meeting, she asks, "What's our intention here?"

    16. LHLewis Howes56:58

        Mm.

    17. SPSpeaker57:00

        "What's the intention of this meeting?" Not, "What's the agenda? What do I do?" "What's the intention?" That's every meeting.

    18. LHLewis Howes57:05

        Mm.

    19. SPSpeaker57:05

        So she's seeking clarity at the beginning of every meeting. That's why she's so amazing, right? If you think about her whole career, she was always trying to have people seek clarity on who they were so they could be themselves. That's what high performers are doing. They just do it more often. They seek clarity before they shoot that video, before they have the podcast interview. Um, but specifically, we found three practices to help you get better at seeking clarity. Uh, number one, they are seeking clarity in what we call the future for. So you've probably heard that successful people are more future-minded.

    20. LHLewis Howes57:36

        Mm-hmm.

    21. SPSpeaker57:36

        It's true, and specifically what they're looking at, if you talk to a high performer, they're more clear about, um, who do I want to be in this upcoming situation? And by the way, it's not about who I am. It's about who do I want to be. They're more future-oriented. They're more intentional about who they want to be in social situations. So it's like, "I want to have this type of interaction with Lewis today."

    22. LHLewis Howes57:58

        Mm-hmm.

    23. SPSpeaker57:59

        That, that's intentional. They're more clear about what skills they need to develop-

    24. LHLewis Howes58:05

        Mm

    25. SPSpeaker58:05

        ... to reach their next level of success.

    26. LHLewis Howes58:06

        Right.

    27. SPSpeaker58:08

        Here's how you really know an underperformer. Open up their calendar and look for any evidence that they have planned their own curriculum for greatness. If they don't have classes or courses, if they, if they're not actively skill building, there's no chance at high performance.

    28. LHLewis Howes58:24

        Mm.

    29. SPSpeaker58:24

        I mean, maybe they can dumb luck into it for initial success, but high performance is long-term success. You gotta be building your skill sets.

    30. LHLewis Howes58:32

        Constantly growing.
11. 1:00:49 – 1:08:21

    Beyond Strengths and Daily Clarity Routines

    1. LHLewis Howes1:00:49

       Then why do so many of us focus on our strengths and personality-

    2. SPSpeaker1:00:52

       Yeah. Oh-

    3. LHLewis Howes1:00:53

       ... do you think?

    4. SPSpeaker1:00:53

       That was a huge finding. I, and I would've... That's another one. I would've completely freaked out-

    5. LHLewis Howes1:00:57

       [laughs]

    6. SPSpeaker1:00:57

       ... on anybody.

    7. LHLewis Howes1:00:58

       StrengthFinders, all these other books-

    8. SPSpeaker1:00:59

       Yes

    9. LHLewis Howes1:00:59

       ... out there, you know? It's like-

    10. SPSpeaker1:01:00

        Yes

    11. LHLewis Howes1:01:01

        ... we focus on our strengths.

    12. SPSpeaker1:01:02

        And then unfortunately, one, that's... In the history of personal development, that is the greatest false dichotomy there's-

    13. LHLewis Howes1:01:08

        Mm-hmm

    14. SPSpeaker1:01:08

        ... ever been.

    15. LHLewis Howes1:01:09

        Mm.

    16. SPSpeaker1:01:09

        Focus on your strengths or your... It's like you have to do both. You have to do both. But what we found in our research, which surprised me, high performers do not report working on their strengths any more than regular people.

    17. LHLewis Howes1:01:20

        Mm-hmm.

    18. SPSpeaker1:01:21

        So that's not what gives them the edge. Uh, one of the chapters opens up with this guy. He wrote this email, really highly successful guy, and he wrote this email, and he says, you know... And I'd put him through all this. I put him through StrengthsFinder, the Birkman-

    19. LHLewis Howes1:01:32

        Uh-huh

    20. SPSpeaker1:01:32

        ... the Kolbe, the Myers-Briggs.

    21. LHLewis Howes1:01:34

        Yeah.

    22. SPSpeaker1:01:34

        Put him through everything. This is one of my first coaching clients ever. I knew everything about him.

    23. LHLewis Howes1:01:38

        Mm-hmm.

    24. SPSpeaker1:01:38

        We knew all his background. We did all the, we did all the homework. Had his peer review, you know, his 360 assessments from work, and then I watched him fail for two years.

    25. LHLewis Howes1:01:45

        Hmm.

    26. SPSpeaker1:01:46

        And he wrote me this email, and he said, "Brendon, stop telling me, like, what successful people are like because w- we know my strengths and I'm not getting ahead, and start telling me what they do." And that's what this book became out. It's like, what do you need to do?

    27. LHLewis Howes1:02:02

        Hmm.

    28. SPSpeaker1:02:03

        Because... And i- in this email, he wrote this, which is where that finding came from. He said... This was so good. Listen to this line. He said, "As a leader, I have to be honest with myself that my mission and vision should never be made to bow down to my limited human strengths. I should have to rise up to my mission or vision." The strengths aren't the relevant thing is, the question is, what is necessary for me to develop into to reach that mission?

    29. LHLewis Howes1:02:37

        Hmm.

    30. SPSpeaker1:02:38

        It's like, your strengths are great.
12. 1:08:21 – 1:19:06

    Fear, the Brain's Danger Scanning, and Personal Philosophy

    1. SPSpeaker1:08:21

       So if we get the fear thing right and we have a relationship with fear, and we look for moments that challenge our relationship with fear, I can talk a lot... I'd love to talk about that with you. And the other's getting the fatigue thing right. And we, we've come in modern times to believe that we need to do more to be more, and it's broken. Right? It's fundamentally broken. The idea is that we need to be more and let the doing flow from there

    2. LHLewis Howes1:08:47

       Mm-hmm

    3. SPSpeaker1:08:48

       Be yourself, be your authentic self, be here now. You know, be grateful, be present. And let the doing flow from those. That orientation is a completely different model that, you know, it's like I- I've... I'm spending my life efforts, I think, working to share that and to help the, some of the best doers and thinkers in the world to reorientate what got them good but is slowing them down from being their absolute personal best

    4. LHLewis Howes1:09:17

       Hmm. And what's slowing them down? Fear and fatigue still?

    5. SPSpeaker1:09:19

       Yeah. Well, t- the idea, the m- the framework, the psychological framework that I need to do more to be more, and that's born out of anxiety

    6. LHLewis Howes1:09:27

       Mm-hmm

    7. SPSpeaker1:09:27

       Right?

    8. LHLewis Howes1:09:27

       Not doing enough.

    9. SPSpeaker1:09:28

       Yeah

    10. LHLewis Howes1:09:29

        Could be doing more

    11. SPSpeaker1:09:30

        And the trick-

    12. LHLewis Howes1:09:30

        Stressing about that

    13. SPSpeaker1:09:31

        Yeah.

    14. LHLewis Howes1:09:32

        Yeah

    15. SPSpeaker1:09:32

        The... Flat out. And the trick though there is that that g- that'll get people good. "I need to do more."

    16. LHLewis Howes1:09:37

        Uh-huh.

    17. SPSpeaker1:09:37

        "Damn, I missed that jumper. How am I gonna miss that jumper? Let's keep..." Like, you know?

    18. LHLewis Howes1:09:41

        Drive them to be practice more to... Yeah, yeah

    19. SPSpeaker1:09:44

        Yeah. So that's this, um, you know, it's like just enough anxiety will get you good, but it will slow you down for being your absolute best at some point

    20. LHLewis Howes1:09:53

        Why do we fear so much about what could go wrong, what other people think about us, who we're gonna let down, that we're not worthy enough, good enough? Why do we fear that-

    21. SPSpeaker1:10:02

        That's a great question

    22. LHLewis Howes1:10:03

        ... so much?

    23. SPSpeaker1:10:04

        Yeah, it's a really great question

    24. LHLewis Howes1:10:05

        Like, for our whole life

    25. SPSpeaker1:10:06

        Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is that... So there's some biological things we can take a look at, and then there's also psychological, right? And then so it's the interaction of those two. Biologically, our brain, as best as we think, and it's three pounds of Silly Putty that sits in our skull-

    26. LHLewis Howes1:10:20

        Mm-hmm

    27. SPSpeaker1:10:20

        ... that's more complicated than-

    28. LHLewis Howes1:10:22

        Yeah. [laughs]

    29. SPSpeaker1:10:23

        ... you know, like w- the brightest minds in neuroscience are still amazed by how our brain works. And so, um, but we think that our brain is designed to scan the world and find what's dangerous, right? And so our ancestors passed that gift on to us. Your lineage passed that gift on to you, that they were able to survive. And so how, survive? Way back in ancient times, that they could scan the world and easily discern how to be ready between... Uh, no, let me say it more, more eloquently. They could scan the world and find, uh, what was dangerous or what was threatening so that they wouldn't be eaten

    30. LHLewis Howes1:11:00

        Mm-hmm
13. 1:19:06 – 1:30:12

    Hunger, Modeling, and Choosing Happiness Over Suffering

    1. SPSpeaker1:19:06

       The capacity to strengthen and increase your hunger is the one common denominator amongst the most successful people. You know, um, you know, Richard Branson's a good friend of mine, and Peter Guber, S- Steve Wynn, all these guys, they've never lost their hunger. Most people are hungry to achieve a certain amount, make a certain amount of money, and then they get comfortable and relax, or to get a certain level of fitness, and then they relax. But, you know, Richard is as driven today as when he was 16 years old starting.

    2. SPSpeaker1:19:35

       Really?

    3. SPSpeaker1:19:35

       I mean, he's, like, on fire, and he's 65 years old. Warren Buffett is 85 years old. He's as driven today-

    4. SPSpeaker1:19:42

       Huh

    5. SPSpeaker1:19:42

       ... as when, you know, he began the journey, right? And so people that have that hunger, I believe intelligence, I, I love people that are wickedly smart.

    6. SPSpeaker1:19:50

       Yeah.

    7. SPSpeaker1:19:51

       And I work to be wickedly smart by educating and training myself and so forth, and training my brain. But Intellig- There's a lot of intelligent people can't fight their way out of a paper bag.

    8. LHLewis Howes1:20:00

       Yeah.

    9. SPSpeaker1:20:00

       Right?

    10. LHLewis Howes1:20:01

        Absolutely.

    11. SPSpeaker1:20:01

        Hunger is the ultimate driver. 'Cause if you're hungrier, you can get the strategy, you can get the answer. If you can't model it, you can find it. So hunger, modeling would be maybe the next best skill, knowing that success leaves clues. Like, why reinvent the wheel?

    12. LHLewis Howes1:20:16

        Right.

    13. SPSpeaker1:20:16

        If someone took th- this plane w- was, uh, Mickey's plane, who owns the Miami Heat and owns Carnival, right? I mean, you can learn so much from a man like Mickey. It'd blow your mind what this man-

    14. LHLewis Howes1:20:29

        Yeah

    15. SPSpeaker1:20:29

        ... has been able to do in his life. And so why would I go learn by trial and error-

    16. LHLewis Howes1:20:33

        Right

    17. SPSpeaker1:20:33

        ... and maybe take 10 or 20 years when I could learn from somebody in a few weeks or a few months or a few hours-

    18. LHLewis Howes1:20:39

        Right

    19. SPSpeaker1:20:39

        ... something that could save me a decade.

    20. LHLewis Howes1:20:40

        Read a book.

    21. SPSpeaker1:20:40

        That's what it is.

    22. LHLewis Howes1:20:41

        Yeah.

    23. SPSpeaker1:20:41

        That's why, that's why I read 700 books in the first seven years-

    24. LHLewis Howes1:20:43

        Wow

    25. SPSpeaker1:20:43

        ... 'cause I was like, if somebody takes 10 years of their life, they pour it into a book-

    26. LHLewis Howes1:20:46

        Right

    27. SPSpeaker1:20:47

        ... and I can read that in an hour or two or three or four, why wouldn't I?

    28. LHLewis Howes1:20:50

        So how does someone continue to stay hungry? Or re- you know-

    29. SPSpeaker1:20:54

        Yeah

    30. LHLewis Howes1:20:54

        ... rediscover what they're hungry about?
14. 1:30:12 – 1:32:03

    Confidence as the Willingness to Try

    1. RVRory Vaden1:30:12

       Everybody that you admire is doing the exact same thing. They actually listen to their inner wisdom. They have figured out how to tune out the critic up here and trust the instincts. And you know, I have this saying about confidence that I've only recently kind of stumbled into as I've been digging into more research around the science of confidence and the skill of confidence. 'Cause a lot of people think that confidence is a personality trait. It's not. It's actually a skill that you build through action. And a lot of people think confidence is a state of belief. It can be-

    2. LHLewis Howes1:30:46

       Mm-hmm

    3. RVRory Vaden1:30:46

       ... but that's not where it begins. And so I say that confidence is the willingness to try. That's all that it is.

    4. LHLewis Howes1:30:56

       Hmm.

    5. RVRory Vaden1:30:56

       Knowing that you may succeed or survive, but you'll still try. And to me, all those people that we admire most, that's what they're doing. They have the ability to tune into those instincts-

    6. LHLewis Howes1:31:13

       Mm

    7. RVRory Vaden1:31:13

       ... that are true for them. Because the fact is there's only one you. That's it. And you matter because there's only one you, and there's only ever gonna be one you. And your instincts and your experiences and your inner wisdom is a gift to the world. And every time that you tune it out because of the habit of hesitating or the habit of self-doubt or the habit of worrying or the habit of overthinking, you are robbing the world of that gift that you have to, to give to everybody.

    8. RVRory Vaden1:31:45

       Efficiency is good. All things being equal, doing things faster is great. The problem is that there is a point of diminishing returns to using efficiency as your only strategy for productivity, which is that no matter how fast we move, the amount of busy work always expands to fill the amount of time available

Episode duration: 1:32:03