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Sebastian Maniscalco OPENS UP About IMPOSTER SYNDROME, MENTAL HEALTH & His Parents' Divorce

Have you bought your tickets to Summit of Greatness 2024 yet?! Welcome back! Today, Lewis interviews the incredibly talented comedian Sebastian Maniscalco.

Sebastian ManiscalcoguestLewis Howeshost

Jul 10, 20241h 46mWatch on YouTube

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Transcript

100 min read · 20,080 words

0:00 – 4:29
Intro
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  My negative voice is with me daily. Is this the last day? Anybody gonna come to the show? Anybody gonna buy tickets? Are you doing enough? Are you funny? Are you as funny as you were five years ago?
2. LHLewis Howes
  Today we're joined by Sebastian Maniscalco. An actor, a comedian, a writer, probably one of the most brilliant performers alive. The new king of comedy.
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Sebastian Maniscalco. Sebastian Maniscalco. [cheering] I'm almost editing as I'm talking.
4. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. If I speak more openly, I'm extremely sensitive and emotional. I tend to say things that might be a little abrupt and brash, but I mask it with humor. A lot of these moments that have happened in my career, I could have never imagined. You know, me doing a movie with De Niro and Pesci and Pacino.
6. LHLewis Howes
  Mm.
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I wasn't really enjoying it. I was nervous. I had anxiety. It was like, "Can I do this?" But again, in my head, always looking at the negative. I'm done. It's over. I'm going home. It's never, "Oh, they're probably talking about how great I was." That's insane-
8. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-huh
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... to think that. My mom and my dad are divorced. [gentle music] Mom's always gonna pick up the phone.
10. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, always. You think they're always gonna be there. Um, I told myself I wasn't [laughs] I wasn't gonna get emotional, but-
12. LHLewis Howes
  Welcome back, everyone, to The School of Greatness. We have the inspiring Sebastian Maniscalco in the house. Welcome to The School of Greatness.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Thanks for having me on. Appreciate it.
14. LHLewis Howes
  Very excited, man. You've got, uh, me and my fiance were watching your, your comedy specials a couple years ago, and I was like, "One day I gotta get Sebastian on here and talk about his life," because the more I researched about you, it wasn't just like, "Okay, I'm gonna sell out Madison Square Garden five times in a row," which is what you've done. I'm gonna sell out, you know, this arena tour around the world, which is what you've done, and have all these Netflix specials, and movies, and TV shows, and you've become a massive star. But as I started to learn about your background, you were a waiter for seven years in Hollywood-
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm
16. LHLewis Howes
  ... just trying to figure out how to make a few bucks, and it was hard to get a job as a waiter for you.
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm.
18. LHLewis Howes
  And what I wanna know is how do you emotionally and mentally, in a time and a season of life where there's no social media really back then, how do you work full time, but also go on the road full time to make a name for yourself and go for your dreams? And I also wr- read a quote that you said, um, about how long are you gonna give yourself, your mom asked you-
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm
20. LHLewis Howes
  ... on this dream, this crazy comedian dream when no one can really make money-
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
22. LHLewis Howes
  ... back in the day when you were kinda getting into it. She asked you, "How long are you gonna give yourself until you make it?" And you said, "If I give myself a time limit, I'm setting myself up for failure." How did you have the belief in yourself during those early years as a waiter that you could actually make a full-time living making people laugh and bringing comedy to the world?
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, uh, for me, I always knew I had an ability to make people laugh throughout my whole life, my childhood, uh, with my friends, with my family. So I knew I had something there. Just like an athlete would know that, "Okay, I'm, I'm faster than everybody else. I can jump higher than everybody else," I kinda had that with my comedy. I was a huge fan of standup growing up. I would watch it like game tape. Like-
24. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, I would watch-
26. LHLewis Howes
  That's cool
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... video after video after video, just mesmerized. How are they doing this? How are they remembering all this? I used to go to comedy clubs when I was 15 years old with a girlfriend that I had at the time who snuck, knew the guy and snuck us through the back door. This is in Rosemont, Illinois. Uh, so I had confidence. Now, you come here in '98, you don't know a soul. I start looking for a job. Um, I s- end up at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills waiting tables, but I didn't come out here to wait tables. But also, I'm not the type of guy to sleep on somebody's couch, so I came out with 10 grand. I wanted to have a cushion. It's not like Guns N' Roses, he came out, you know, Axl Rose with, like, a guitar and $4 in his pocket.
28. LHLewis Howes
  Right, right.
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I've always been, like, responsible. You know, coming out here, my mother was like, "What are you gonna do for health insurance?" You know? Like a lot of, like a lot of, like,
4:29 – 9:00
Overcoming Discouragement and Building a Career
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  entertainment types, don't even bother with health insurance. Like, I had a COBRA plan.
2. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, so it was a priority for me and my family that I was, like, covered with health insurance. So, um, I got this job, and then I started doing, uh, standup wherever I could, open mic nights. Uh, I took a stand-up comedy class just so I would, uh, have a, a supportive environment around me. Um, 'cause I didn't really do standup until I came out here. I did it once where I went to school at Northern Illinois University.
4. LHLewis Howes
  Mm-hmm.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  But then, uh-
6. LHLewis Howes
  Edwardsville?
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, DeKalb.
8. LHLewis Howes
  Okay.
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  DeKalb.
10. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah. I went to school in Illinois for a little bit too.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Oh, you did?
12. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Where?
14. LHLewis Howes
  Principia College. It's a small school nil- near Alton, Illinois.
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Don't even know where that is. [laughs]
16. LHLewis Howes
  Hour from St. Louis-
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Okay
18. LHLewis Howes
  ... on the Mississippi River. Anyways.
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  All right. Um, so coming out here, I, I was determined to learn how to do this, and I knew it wasn't gonna be easy. I knew it was gonna take a while. Comedy, I heard stand-up comedy, you don't really get your voice until maybe 7 to 10 years into it.
20. LHLewis Howes
  Wow.
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, you know, there are exceptions. Uh, you know, Eddie Murphy hit it big young. Um, but I knew that I had to really put the time and effort it was going to take. It, it's like bodybuilding, you know? It's like you're not gonna, you're not gonna look the way you look overnight. It takes time in the gym. It takes diet. It takes dedication. So I knew that. That's not to say that I, I, one... There was one point in my life where I called my father, I go, "I don't know what the hell's going on. I've been doing this for five years, I'm still waiting tables, I'm not really making any money at this." Um, you know, I'm, I was discouraged. Not ready to quit, but just needed like a pep talk.
22. LHLewis Howes
  Did you have any momentum? Were you like, were people laughing at the shows you were doing? Were you getting audiences to show up? Did you build a name, or?
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Not in five years I didn't have like a fan base. I just was bouncing around. I, I, I took a, a kind of a different approach, uh, than a lot of comedians. A lot of comedians come out to Los Angeles from a place that they were already doing standup, whether it be Chicago, New York, Florida.
24. LHLewis Howes
  And they were like the king or the queen of that city.
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, it's like, "Oh, it's time to go."
26. LHLewis Howes
  Ah.
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Where I came and I didn't do any comedy anywhere other than here, so I had to kind of make my bones around town. Which at that time there was not a lot of opportunity as far as stand-up comedy. There's not a lot of clubs here in Los Angeles compared to New York. I think New York's got 21 comedy clubs. Here it was like four major clubs. But, uh, you know, taking gigs wherever you could get them. I mean, if I had to go to Modesto for 50 bucks, which is, is a far drive, I would go because they were giving me 45 minutes worth of time, and then here locally you get 15 minutes. So the extra half an hour for me was worth the drive. So-
28. LHLewis Howes
  So you call your dad
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... I call my dad. You know, he's, you know... I did this in college, too, 'cause my first semester of college I was discouraged 'cause of, um, I was, I was failing. I was, I was, I had a 1.2 grade point average out of four my first semester, 'cause I was shocked to be away from home. I was living with a roommate that I didn't know. Just having a tough go of it, just tough. Called home, called my parents. You know, they kinda set me right. Just, 'cause I was ready to quit. They're like, "Don't, don't quit. Stay there. Just, you know, stay the course." So same thing here. I called home. It's not, you know, it's, it's... Waiting f- waiting for like, just to make some money. That's all I want. I didn't, didn't want it like fame and fortune. I never got into this for fame or any money, nothing. This is something I got into strictly because I enjoy putting a smile on people's face. That's it. I think a lot of people go into some of these things for the wrong reason. Uh, and I, I was not, uh, I had a work ethic. Like I worked constantly when I was a teenager, whether it be Olan Mills Portrait Studio, Olive Garden, I was glazing ham at Honey Baked Ham. There was no like, you know how you come home from college-
30. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
9:00 – 13:20
The Road to Success
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  when it comes to work. He's still working, he's 77 years old. He still-
2. LHLewis Howes
  Wow
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... he's a, he's a, he's a hairdresser and he's still, uh, doing dye jobs. So I'm not, I'm very, I, I'm willing to put the work in.
4. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So, um, at that, at that five-year point I was just kind of a little discouraged just because I didn't really see a lot of progress in the sense of making a living at this. I was making people laugh. I just was, you know, didn't book any, go on auditions, which was awful for me. I hate auditioning. Sitting there in a room sweating and doing something that is not really natural to me.
6. LHLewis Howes
  Mm-hmm.
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, but you know, kind of reset myself and then, uh, just said to myself, "You know, you can't really look at other people's successes and, and, and say, 'Hey, that guy got a TV show. How come I didn't?'" Everybody's got their own course. You might, you might not realize it at the time, but if you're worried about other people and what they're doing, you're kind of taking the focus off yourself. So the only thing I could really concentrate on was just being as funny as I could be. That's it. That's the only thing I had control over. I didn't have control over how many people were gonna come to the show. I didn't have control over when I was going to get paid for this. The only thing I could do is like, how, how funny can I get myself to be? And then after that, hopefully that will be enough to, to, to start making some, some, a living out of it. But I, I would say every year I found myself getting better and better and better. It's not, it's not, it's not like I went on stage and no one was laughing. I knew I had it, it's just when is it gonna kinda turn?
8. LHLewis Howes
  When is the audience gonna build? When is the money gonna come, the gigs, the opportunities? So when you called your dad for that pep- pep talk, what, what did he say to you then?
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, he just basically said, you know, the same thing. He said, it was both my mom and dad said, "You know, you went through this during college. You wanted to give up during college. It's not that you wanna give up now, but, you know, you spent five years there and nothing..." We have a saying in our family, like the Maniscalcos always have to go through the tough road to get where we wanna go. It's, it's never been easy for my family, never. It's always been like, you know, if, if someone went from A to B, we're going A, B, C, D, E, and then, you know, then, then we get there.
10. LHLewis Howes
  The longest way possible.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  The longest way possible.
12. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  There's never a shortcut.
14. LHLewis Howes
  Climb every mountain. [laughs]
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. It's never like, "Oh my God," you know, "You, you ma- you made it a year in." No, it's always been-
16. LHLewis Howes
  Uh
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... gotta, gotta work for it. So you know, and, and I-
18. LHLewis Howes
  Did your mom say, "Hey, I told you like maybe y- you know, you should've given yourself a time limit," or like, "Hey-
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No
20. LHLewis Howes
  ... maybe you should get a real job now," or, "Hey," you know, it's like, "Maybe it's time to give this up and just do it on the weekends for fun."
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I don't think there was ever a point where my parents, uh, encouraged me to give this up. I mean, even though my mom said that in the beginning, I think my mother saw that I, I, I had an ability or a talent to do this and, and, and s- ... was super supportive. I mean, my family, coming from an immigrant family, generally speaking, the arts are discouraged just because, uh, there's no stability.
22. LHLewis Howes
  Right.
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  There's no health insurance. What are you gonna do? You know, start a family. So, but my case, they were, "Go for it. Get it. Uh, pursue it." And, uh, thank God I had that support system because, you know, it's a, it's a, it's a tough road and, and if you got your parents telling you, "Come home," then it's like everybody's against you.
24. LHLewis Howes
  But I've also heard you say that your dad is, like, pretty critical of you too, right?
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Very. He was early on. I, I think it's subsided over the years, 'cause we've had some discussions where I, I have told my father, "Listen." 'Cause my father is always on my shoulder whispering, you know, "You better write material 'cause people are coming back. They're spending money. They don't wanna hear the same thing. You better be on your game." He's even said to me, "You should do your act the same way every night from, from front to back, not a word out of place." And I'm like, "Jesus." I'm se- like, "I don't work that way, Dad."
26. LHLewis Howes
  Right.
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, he's a, he's a creative too. He's a hairstylist.
13:20 – 22:26
Parental Concerns and Supporting Children's Potential
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I said, "Do you do the same hairstyle night in and night out? I mean, you gotta, like, this is-"
2. LHLewis Howes
  You get bored. Yeah, yeah.
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. I get bored. I gotta switch it up. But he, he got so in, uh, intense with my, like, "You, why did you leave out this line in this joke? That's the funniest thing in there." And I'm like, "Because, you know, I don't know. I forgot it-"
4. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  "... or I didn't wanna do it."
6. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  But, um, yeah, my, my parents have been v- critical of my, of, of what I do and also super proud of what I do.
8. LHLewis Howes
  Right. So they're encouraging, but they're also like, "But you coulda done it better." It's like, "Keep going after it. We support you, but why'd you mess that up?"
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. Yeah, there's no big head. You can't get a big head in my family. There's, they, you know, they're, they don't want you to... And I, you know, I'm seeing that a little bit with my kids now. I mean, I think you take from your parents and go, "This is what-"
10. LHLewis Howes
  Works well.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  "... this is what, yeah, works well, and this is what, what doesn't." Um, but you know, my daughter does a recital, or my f- son does a game. Yeah, they're young. They're five and seven. I know that, that they could do better, so I, I, I, I see what my parents were seeing in, in me. Potential. You could do better. You, you, you, you gotta commit more. And I see that sometimes with my kids. So I get it. I get-
12. LHLewis Howes
  Right
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... I get the parental concern when it comes to your kids-
14. LHLewis Howes
  Sure
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... and if they're, if they're reaching their full potential, so. But there's a time where, you know, I mean, I've reached a c- certain level of success where it's like, "Okay, Dad, you know, some- something's working here."
16. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, but then also it could be the fact that they're always pushing me to do better.
18. LHLewis Howes
  And he might be saying, "Well, it's 'cause I'm on top of you all the time," right?
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  [laughs]
20. LHLewis Howes
  "It's 'cause I'm critical of you. That's why you're successful."
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
22. LHLewis Howes
  You never know.
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
24. LHLewis Howes
  I'm curious. Before you go on stage, whether it be at a local comedy store here in LA, uh, or at Madison Square Garden, do you have a negative voice that speaks to you that day, that hour before? If so, what is that negative voice, and do you combat it with anything, any s- tool or strategy or mantra or personal, um, statement to support you to overcome that negativity before going on stage?
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I don't have a negative voice prior to doing shows. My negative voice is with me daily, like on a, on a, like on a daily basis. Like it's-
26. LHLewis Howes
  What does, what's it sound like? What's the voice saying to you?
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It, it's, it's a variety of things. I mean, we were talking before this started of like, "When's this gonna end?"
28. LHLewis Howes
  Mm-hmm.
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  "Is this the last day?" You know, um, " Anybody gonna come to the show? Anybody gonna buy tickets? Are you doing enough to... Are you funny? Are you as funny as you were five years ago? Um, have I peaked?" This is, this is constant, you know?
30. LHLewis Howes
  Every day?
22:26 – 27:00
Decision-making and Remodeling
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  all the time and go, "Look where we're at." You know? Uh, it's just not who I am. It's... I, I, I, I find that behavior a little gross and, and immature. Uh, and uh, but I, I am getting better at kinda letting loose. Not that I'm cheap. I'm not cheap. We do great-
2. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... things. But like for example, like gonna remodel our house. Like, what's the extent of the remodel?
4. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, you could go unlimited spend.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
6. LHLewis Howes
  You could spend forever.
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, do we get a new kitchen? Or like-
8. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, right
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... once you get the new kitchen, then you look at the other room. We've gone through this. Like, we just wanna do something, and then-
10. LHLewis Howes
  Mm
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... it starts, it starts-
12. LHLewis Howes
  Nah
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... metastasizing throughout the house, and before you know it, it's like, "What the... We should've knocked down the house."
14. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs] Right.
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, so all these decisions that... A- a- and a- another weakness that I have is decision-making. I can't make decisions. Like, uh, there's a lot of people that just, uh, "Remodel. We're going on vacation in June. We're gonna go see your mother in December." Me, I sit there and I pine, and by the time I make the decision, the, the, the date's gone, you know?
16. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs] Right.
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Where are we bringing the kids on this tour? What cities? You know, still, "Well, if we figure if we go from Connecticut to Florida, that's gonna be a long..." You know, it's, it's like, it's like some people are just like, "Let's do..." And I, and I, and I look at those people and go, "Man, I wish I l- I had a little bit of that in me."
18. LHLewis Howes
  Wow. Do you f- do you find it's hard to make decisions in your comedy career? Because you have a lot of different things going on. Do you feel like, "I need to say yes to everything because I don't want the money to stop coming in," or, "I'm s- I'm in a hot season right now and I don't want that to die down, so I have to say yes to everything"? Or can you make better decisions, yes and no on things in your career?
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I think career-wise I'm a little bit more disciplined on my decision-making.
20. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I don't take a lot of things. I'm not that guy.
22. LHLewis Howes
  Why is that?
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, I always l- wanna keep my- ... profile elevated is, uh, I don't wanna do anything that's just to do it. So when I do a TV show, I, uh, this, the show I'm doing now right now, Bookie, is, is an elevated look for me.
24. LHLewis Howes
  Mm.
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's something that I feel passionate about, it's something that I really enjoy the people I'm working with. Um, and it kinda goes, I, I, I've worked so hard to build up my stand-up comedy to where it is, I don't want anything I do to be less than what I'm, what I'm really good at. So I don't take a lot of things that, that are just low-hanging fruit.
26. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know? Like, if I'm, you know, gonna do a, a, a collaboration or a brand deal, not that I do a lot, but I'm gonna make sure that that, that kind of fits within my pillars of what I do, uh, whether it be, you know, food, family, being Italian. Like, it, I don't wanna do anything outside of, of, of my-
28. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah. Unless it's, unless it's COVID and you gotta do Zoom calls all day, right-
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, and the-
30. LHLewis Howes
  ... to make money [laughs]
27:00 – 31:48
Financial Preparedness and Support from a Spouse
1. LHLewis Howes
  "I'm, you know, almost flunked out of college. How am I gonna get a job?" Uh, and I remember thinking to myself, "I never wanna be in this situation again when the next thing happens."
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
3. LHLewis Howes
  So when 2020 happened, I was like, "I'm ready for this." 'Cause I had saved and I had invested, and I was like, "Bring it," you know? Mentally. I didn't like that it happened, but I was like, "I am financially ready now for winter."
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
5. LHLewis Howes
  And we were talking a little bit beforehand how I was like, I always saved and just, you know, re- rode in the backseat of, uh, you know, every plane, middle seat, cheapest flight I could get, multiple, uh, connections, whatever it is, to save money for years. And then I realized, okay, there, maybe there's a time for that, but there, we have to unlearn those things once we're generating more also, and start using our money a little bit more.
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
7. LHLewis Howes
  Um, what does your wife think about with the amount of abundance that you've created for your family over the last, you've known her for 15 years, married I think 10, but you weren't financially abundant when you really met her.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, but she comes from, um, m- m- means, so she-
9. LHLewis Howes
  More means
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... yeah, than I did. Uh, so my wife is kind of used to, uh, being around wealth. So it, for her, it, I mean, and, and, and to her credit, I mean, when I was doing comedy clubs in Addison, Texas, on Belt Line, we stayed at the DoubleTree, and she was right there with me. Although she might have been used to staying at five-star hotels, she was right there with me, and she was out there selling DVDs while I was taking pictures, so-
11. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... she was not spoiled by any means. She was, she's just a, a, a super, super positive person, always walking around with a smile on her face. And n- you never would've thought she was from, you know, that, that, that part of the world. So my wife is extremely, um, proud of what we have been able to accomplish, and I say we because she's a huge part of what I do. Yeah, you see me do stand-up, but she's working behind the scenes, as well as a, a lot of people are, to kind of create what we, what we've created. So my wife's an artist-
13. LHLewis Howes
  Wow
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... and she kinda tackles all things visual with, whether it be merchandising-
15. LHLewis Howes
  That's cool
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... or posters or how is this going to look-
17. LHLewis Howes
  Mm
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... photo shoots, what have you. So she's-
19. LHLewis Howes
  She re- she represents your brand. She supports the image of you.
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
21. LHLewis Howes
  Wow.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And she's a Virgo, and she's very, very particular, but perfectionist by all stretches of the word. I mean, like, you know, like e- even, I mean-
23. LHLewis Howes
  She'll criticize everything in here, yeah [laughs]
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, not, not that criticize, but like even you guy- coming up with The School of Greatness, like, how does that look? Should we tilt it this way? Should we tilt it that way, you know? And I'm more like, "Eh, it looks good," you know? And she's more like, "You know, should we take the of and, and, and make the other words cursive?" Like, wants to see a lot of different ways it could be done.
25. LHLewis Howes
  Wow. Wow.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So-
27. LHLewis Howes
  What's her birthday?
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  September 6th.
29. LHLewis Howes
  Okay.
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. Why, what are you?
31:48 – 36:28
Vulnerability and self-editing
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, like, I come on these things too, it's like, you know, how much do you share? You know, coming into this like, you know, do I, do I-
2. LHLewis Howes
  Who is this Lewis guy? [laughs]
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  [laughs]
4. LHLewis Howes
  I'm gonna open up to him and tell him my whole life?
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of people. I've seen your show. You know how some people, sometimes they break down a little bit. They get emotional. I've gotten emotional. I was on Gayle King and I, I gotta... You know, I was crying with my, my father on, on a, an in- interview. So it's like, you know, how vulnerable are you gonna be on these things? Um, you know, I'm sure, like, people... You, you, you could tell some- someone might have their guard up a little bit. Like they're not gonna, like, and give you a lot. Uh, so yeah, that's, it's always like, even in nowadays it's like, I know this is gonna go out to a ton of people. And you, you know, you say, "Oh, anything that you don't want in here we can edit out," or whatever, you know. But like, you know, I'm always a- I'm almost editing as I'm talking.
6. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. Yeah.
8. LHLewis Howes
  What do you think would happen in your life if you didn't edit before you spoke? I mean, obviously we wanna be mindful of what we're saying at all times and not just blurt out mean things, but if you spoke more openly from your heart, do you think something would change?
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, if I speak more openly, I'm extremely sensitive and emotional. So my fear is always going down the wor- Like I, I, I could cry at any moment. I just went to go see If the, the new-
10. LHLewis Howes
  Oh, I saw that this last weekend.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Oh, with Molly. Did we Molly?
12. LHLewis Howes
  Dude, it was beautiful. Yeah.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So-
14. LHLewis Howes
  It's the music and, oh man
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... Molly. So-
16. LHLewis Howes
  Oh
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... so not that I'm f- fearful of crying, it's just sometimes, like, oh, do I really wanna go down this road today? Um, so and you ask, oh, what would happen if I was unfiltered? I tend to, uh, say things that might be a little abrupt and brash, but I mask it with humor, and it comes out, you can laugh at it. Or it doesn't come out as... I get my point across, but I make you laugh as I'm doing it.
18. LHLewis Howes
  Right, right, right.
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  If, but there is a part of me that could come out, if I don't do it with humor, could be a little aggressive.
20. LHLewis Howes
  Like a jerk or something?
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I wouldn't say a jerk. It would be a little, um, you know, I don't wanna say inappropriate. It would just be a little, um-
22. LHLewis Howes
  Insensitive
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... insensitive. Yeah.
24. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Makes sense.
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
26. LHLewis Howes
  Interesting. I've had a l- I've had a lot of comedians on here. Um, and I'm curious, who are two or three when you were kind of in the scene early on that you really looked up to that you still respect today?
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, when I started comedy, when I came out here in '98, I really enjoyed watching Bill Burr.
28. LHLewis Howes
  Mm. Man, he is funny.
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Funny cat. I got into the elevator of where I was living in the apartment complex, and first day I lived there, Bill Burr's in the elevator.
30. LHLewis Howes
  Come on.
36:28 – 41:06
Surreal Moments in My Career
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I felt that feeling when he invited me on the sh- the Comedians in Cars. Like, here's a guy- Grew up watching-
2. LHLewis Howes
  Oh my gosh
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... his show, and now I looked at that show as like he was like our Johnny Carson, 'cause we didn't have Johnny Carson. So I felt like if Seinfeld thought you were funny, then you kinda like were in the club.
4. LHLewis Howes
  He gave you the nod, right.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Gave you the nod, like come sit down on the couch. So-
6. LHLewis Howes
  Wow. What was that like?
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It was surreal. I mean, we're whipping around Los Angeles in a 1969 Camaro, and then when I went to New York, he invited me back on the show again and we were on Vespas, uh, going through New York on, on Vespas. So yeah, a lot of these moments that have happened in my career, I could've never, I could've never imagined. You know, me doing a movie with Scorsese, a guy I had posters on my wall, and, and you know, De Niro and Pesci and Pacino. I mean, it, it, it's really, I mean... A- a- and in the, a- again, enjoying those moments when they're happening, 'cause I wasn't really enjoying it. I was nervous. I had anxiety. I was like, "I, can I do this?" I mean, before I got out of my trailer and go, "I'm gonna go do a scene with Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci with Scorsese directing."
8. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And I haven't, I haven't acted really. I mean, I've done a handful of things.
10. LHLewis Howes
  Little skits or something.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
12. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, yeah.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's like, you know-
14. LHLewis Howes
  What was that like? How did you perform?
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I didn't sleep for two nights before the scene, and when I went to rehearse with them, it was just, and ironically enough, they took the Gotham Comedy Club in New York and they made it the Copacabana. So I'm literally performing acting in the same club that I started performing in New York-
16. LHLewis Howes
  Come on
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... years later.
18. LHLewis Howes
  Come on
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Or years earlier. So-
20. LHLewis Howes
  In a way, did you feel more comfortable because you'd been on that stage?
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I was in the, yeah, it was in the comedy club. But it was, it didn't look like the comedy club, obviously.
22. LHLewis Howes
  Right, of course.
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  But, uh-
24. LHLewis Howes
  That's surreal, man
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... surreal. And then when I came out there to meet them, I didn't know like, you know like, here, to relate it to what you do. You got someone that's coming in that you're gonna interview, maybe that you admired as a kid.
26. LHLewis Howes
  Sure.
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And the night before you're almost playing these, "How's it gonna work when he comes in, or when she comes in?"
28. LHLewis Howes
  Are they gonna be cool? Is it gonna be good-
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
30. LHLewis Howes
  ... or a good vibe? Yeah.
41:06 – 45:33
Finding Peace in Positivity
1. LHLewis Howes
  mean just make every day positive even when stuff's going bad.
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
3. LHLewis Howes
  But it's also when I'm in the practice of, okay, what can I do? You know, I ran three miles this morning to make sure I get out any frustrated energy, right? I'm gonna lift later probably. I'm gonna get in the sauna. You know, you're starting to do the ice tub, which you don't like. I heard you complaining about that on social media. You know, it's like I'm doing things that I think is gonna give me more peace. And so it's, it's a practice.
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's a practice. I agree with you. However, [laughs] in my line of work, I am looking at to make a living almost, 'cause it, a lot of what I do-
5. LHLewis Howes
  It's funny
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... is, is funny.
7. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, that's true.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, like-
9. LHLewis Howes
  Like the Seinfeld too-
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Nobody wants-
11. LHLewis Howes
  ... is kind of like, you know, in a different way, it's like how can you find the negative of things-
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, like-
13. LHLewis Howes
  ... and speak about it
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... I went out last night and there's a service charge now on, on, when you go out to dinner. There's a service charge and then tip, right? So if I'd a, I have a take on that, and it's a, it's a-
15. LHLewis Howes
  Plus tax on top of that.
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
17. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So it's a, it's a, I'm about that.
19. LHLewis Howes
  Yes, yes.
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  But it's in, in, it's funny.
21. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-huh.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  The, I've, I've realized there's nothing funny, funny doesn't come from like, oh, there's a service charge? That's fine. I'll pay it. That's not, like people are not gonna like laugh at that. People are gonna laugh at the fact that what are they trying to do, rip me off? You know, like it, it, it becomes-
23. LHLewis Howes
  Of course
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... more like humorous
25. LHLewis Howes
  ... more like the tipping culture now. It's like when you buy something at a kiosk, it's like default is 25% tip.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
27. LHLewis Howes
  Or you're kind of a jerk if you say no.
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, then they, they almost shame you into the tip. They, they'll turn it around and they'll go-
29. LHLewis Howes
  I know
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... "I'm just gonna ask you a few question-"
45:33 – 49:50
The Daily State of the Industry Update
1. LHLewis Howes
  And then to just go back and be like, "Life is beautiful. Thank you for this 20% ch- upcharge," and you know, [laughs] he's, uh, "I'm blessed to pay taxes in California." It's like... [laughs]
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, it, I never thought of it that way.
3. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's funny that you put it in those terms, and kinda correlating it to a, you know, a, a, a trained almost killer out there, and then he's gotta come back and-
5. LHLewis Howes
  Be like this loving husband or something
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... loving husband. Yeah, I, I, I get it. Like, I'm paid to think a certain way. How do you shut that off when it comes to r- everyday life? Which, uh, uh, for me, is that's, that's a, you make, you make a good point of it. I'll, I'll definitely, definitely leave here today thinking more about what you just said then, a- a- and trying to apply it.
7. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah. But I'm assuming that, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm assuming that all day you're looking for those moments. To set, for material.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's not that I'm looking, it just hits me.
9. LHLewis Howes
  Hits you. But you're, you're like, you're writing it down, you're memorizing, you're thinking about it. You're telling someone, "Oh, did that land?" And it's just a constant, you're looking out and s- you're seeing it or it's hitting you, and it's part of your daily thought process. 'Cause that's what makes you funny. Otherwise, you don't just sit down for two days and say, "Let me think about the last three months and how I can make funny material."
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. Yeah, always a hypersensitivity of what's going on around me, which it could be great when it comes to being a comedian, but also could act as a, something as a negative because you see things maybe that other people are not seeing.
11. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, yeah.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And I've, I've run into this with my wife where, you know, she might meet somebody and not kinda see what I'm seeing in what they're doing or how they're behaving. Uh, and, and, you know, and she's like, "Can you just like..." You know, and I go, "I, no, I, I c- I can't." It's almost like a, it's like I, I relate it to an allergy. If you were allergic to peanuts, and I brought peanuts in here, you are either going to s- start coughing, sneezing, whatever. You don't have any control of that. That's the way I look at comedians.
13. LHLewis Howes
  Interesting.
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's, it's like a, it's like an allergy. We re- we react to the environment around us, and we're unconscious about it. It's just, it's happening. It's like we're, we're, we're constantly having an allergic reaction to society.
15. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs] And then you're using that-
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
17. LHLewis Howes
  ... as material.
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
19. LHLewis Howes
  Um, going back to what you said, you know, Scorsese, De Niro are huddling after you do this scene, and you're not in the huddle.
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
21. LHLewis Howes
  And you're thinking to myself, "I'm fired. I was horrible. I can't believe I screwed this opportunity up." What happens next?
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  We gotta do better.
23. LHLewis Howes
  They came to you?
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, me. In my head.
25. LHLewis Howes
  Oh. But what, what happened though after that?
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Nothing. "Blah, blah, do it again." "All right, we'll do, do it." I don't know what the hell they said, but we're doing it again. Um, and then as time went on, over the course of the day, s- doing the s- the same scene over, and over, and over again, you know, Scorsese would come out and give me a note. Joe Pesci came out, and he started directing me a little bit.
27. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Which I was like, "Ugh, is this cool?"
29. LHLewis Howes
  Am I supposed to be directed by an actor?
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
49:50 – 54:07
Overcoming Insecurity and Pressure in Acting
1. LHLewis Howes
  tell me what to do." You think Michael Jordan, you know, when you're watching him back in Arlington Heights and you went to, to watch him in the arena, you think, uh, his coach is not giving him some positive re- encouragement and saying, "Hey, here's what I'm noticing that you didn't see," 'cause it's a blind spot.
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
3. LHLewis Howes
  You think Jordan's saying, "Screw you, Coach. I'm gonna do it my way."
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No.
5. LHLewis Howes
  "I got it all figured out."
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No.
7. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, I mean, it's like [laughs] ...
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  But here's where the insecurity comes in.
9. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  For me, it's like [sighs] I put so much pressure on myself to, to be the best, and then when you fall short of it and somebody's gotta tell you, "That's not the best. Try it this way," I, I take it as like, "Oh, I, I shoulda, I shoulda, I shoulda came up." But I've been, I'm becoming more, I'm adjusting my thought process when it comes to that because I've talked to other actors and they're saying, when he's watching it on the screen, to your point, you're not seeing what he's seeing. You're, you're here, he's there. So he's got a bird's-eye view of what's happening, where you're kind of-
11. LHLewis Howes
  And if you're thinking about what's on the screen, you're not in the flow.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Not at all.
13. LHLewis Howes
  When, uh, you got two kids, right?
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Two kids.
15. LHLewis Howes
  They're what, five and seven?
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Five and seven, yeah.
17. LHLewis Howes
  So when they were, like, one, one and a half, and they were trying to walk, and they kept falling over, did you, like, scream at them and say, "Hey, you should, you should have this already figured out, this walking thing"?
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, I didn't.
19. LHLewis Howes
  You know what I mean [laughs] ?
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No.
21. LHLewis Howes
  It's kinda like, you've never trained to be an actor.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
23. LHLewis Howes
  Like, how are you supposed to be this, like, world-class actor i- your first few scenes?
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, yeah, I, I, I get it. But I, again, I would just think that I would be able to have enough instinct to become s- that... It, it's just, again-
25. LHLewis Howes
  That much instinct-
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  The way, the way-
27. LHLewis Howes
  ... with De Niro and Scorsese-
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
29. LHLewis Howes
  ... in your first scenes ever?
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. I-
54:07 – 58:53
Crying on Set with De Niro
1. LHLewis Howes
  It's like saying, "I'm gonna shoot a photograph and paint a photograph." Those are two different art- You're in the arts, but it's two different arts.
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, but I, I think they're close enough together.
3. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs] I hear you, man, I hear you. This is a great conversation. I'm loving this conversation about this. So what... I also heard, uh, you talk about, earlier in this conversation, you said you are a sensitive, emotional person. You'll cry. You cried at a movie this weekend that you watched, but you struggled crying on set with De Niro. Is that right? In a scene with De Niro?
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Oh, God, yeah. That was tough.
5. LHLewis Howes
  How, how, why, why was it hard for you to cry- ... on a scene with De Niro, versus you can watch a movie and cry in a moment, what was the struggle there?
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, with the De Niro thing, it was, uh, the expectation that you're, you're, you gotta cry.
7. LHLewis Howes
  Pressure.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Pressure. But go, go see a movie, there's no like... You just, the emotion hits you. This was, "Okay, you need, this is an emotional scene. You gotta cry." Plus, during that scene, I, during that whole movie, I had sciatic pain. I had sciatic pain for two years, uh, trying to perform stand-up, acting. I don't know if you've ever had it, but it's, it's the lo- just not, not a good feeling.
9. LHLewis Howes
  It's like nerve pain on the side. Yeah.
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. Shooting.
11. LHLewis Howes
  Mm-hmm.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I had to come into that scene out of breath, and the director says, "Why don't you run around the tarmac and then come into the scene, and then you'll have..." You know. So I'm running with sciatic pain-
13. LHLewis Howes
  Oh
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... in, like, slippers.
15. LHLewis Howes
  That should've made you cry alone.
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. [laughs]
17. LHLewis Howes
  That must a... [laughs]
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It should've.
19. LHLewis Howes
  Dude, that must a been like, "I'm really in a lot of pain right now."
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  In agony, yeah. Um, so I, I go into the scene. We do the scene. De Niro's crying. I mean, I almost became, uh, I did become a, um, just a fan of just watching him, like, in the scene. I'm, I'm in the scene, but in, in my head I'm going, "This guy here is crying."
21. LHLewis Howes
  That's amazing, man.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And I, and I'm, I'm like, "That, I got the next line." "Cut. Do it again. No cry." Second scene, no cry.
23. LHLewis Howes
  You did your line also, no cry.
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It was a scene.
25. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, yeah.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It was, it was lines back and forth and back and forth. I'm not crying. So I tell, I tell De Niro, I said, "Listen, I need help. Uh, I, I don't know what to do here. I..." He goes, "Oh, okay. Okay." So we go into an, the, uh, airplane that was on the tarmac, and I, uh, I said, "I can't get there. I, I've never cried on film before. I, can you give me some advice?" He goes, "Well, I was gonna tell you, but I'm gonna give you a process, but-"
27. LHLewis Howes
  There's no process. This is, I'm just coming into this hoping to God I cry.
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And he starts to tell me, you know, what I do, what his process is. He starts talking about his kids. He starts crying as he's talking to me.
29. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Real-life cry about his, the family, stuff.
58:53 – 1:03:54
The Rise of Comedy in the Age of Social Media
1. LHLewis Howes
  man. I'm curious about, comedy feels like it's really having a big moment right now-
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm
3. LHLewis Howes
  ... in culture. I mean, just, like, you can go on Netflix or any streamer and it just seems like there's specials everywhere. Um, everyone's s- on tour. People are building millions of followers on social media. A- and it seems like social media has created more superstars in comedy in the last four or five years than probably in the last 20. It seems, it seems that way. How do you feel about the, the rise of comedy startup for so many guys in the last three to five years and their rise to success with social media versus the way you and others did it pre-social media, when it was just, "Hey, we were on the road for 10 years making 50 bucks a night if we were lucky, working as a, a waiter or whatever it might be for seven to 10 years trying to get a special"? What's your thoughts about where comedy is now and where some of these guys and gals are kind of really taking off with content versus before?
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So this is an interesting question for me, because you could slip into this, "Huh, my day, da-da-da," you know. You could do that, which I've had my moments of, like, is what we're seeing now on social media with these f- kind of, I call them, like, flash-in-the-pan videos, and then they're catapulted into, "Oh, okay, you're gonna go see him live now." And, and 2,000 people are gonna show up and see what are they gonna see? I've, I've never been to these stand-up shows, so I don't, I don't know. I can't speak to, like, if a guy or a woman makes it off line and then starts doing comedy live. I don't even know what that looks like. All I know is I know how hard it is to come up with material And, and, and I know how much practice that this requires to be a polished, seasoned comedian. I can't even imagine how the, the internet prepares you at all for live performance.
5. LHLewis Howes
  Mm.
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  'Cause there's... You, you, you gotta do the work. There's no like... Y- y- y- you can't jump the line. You can, but then like what, what happens after that?
7. LHLewis Howes
  Right, you could build audience and get attention, but you still have to deliver on stage.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Gotta deliver on stage. So that's number one. Am I, am I mad at the way this is...? I, I'm mad at the sense that maybe we're not going to see, or maybe this is taking away from the younger generation the course of doing night after night after night, and maybe we're not gonna see as polished comedians. Maybe. I don't know. Uh, we'll, we'll... Time will tell. You could also look at it like this. I have the same... I have social media. I have the same opportunities that they have, right? I could be utilizing social media to become the biggest comedian in the world because I not only have the act, I also have the opportunity now to build with these videos online. Now, for me, I don't think I have found my world on social media.
9. LHLewis Howes
  Your lane. Your lane.
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  My lane. I don't know where... You know, I, I do a podcast, The Pete & Sebastian Show. I've been doing this for 12 years.
11. LHLewis Howes
  Wow.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  12-
13. LHLewis Howes
  12 years?
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... years.
15. LHLewis Howes
  See, I've been doing this 11. I didn't know many people were doing it longer than me.
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  We're, we're under the radar. You're, you're popular. We're not.
17. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Now, I've been trying to crack-
19. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-huh
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... the podcast code.
21. LHLewis Howes
  Code. Yeah.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Right? Now-
23. LHLewis Howes
  With all these comedians blowing up on podcasts, right?
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, "Geez." Like, you, you just go down the list. The, the Theo Von, the Bobby Lee.
25. LHLewis Howes
  Everyone but me.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
27. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, yeah.
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Every- everybody but me is making it in the podcast arena, right? So I'm like, "All right. What do, what do we gotta do on our pod- what are we missing on the podcast? What, what, what's not... What do we..." We've, we've never had guests. W- we're just, it's just Pete and I talking. So we're like, "The fact that we don't have guests, is that why we're still in the basement? Because we're not bringing in a guy or a girl with an audience that's going to sh- make our podcast broader appeal," right? So we started bringing in guests over the last year, and we have yet to see whether or not, like, this is going to-
29. LHLewis Howes
  Pay off or whatever
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... pay off. But, you know, social media is there. You got the same social media everybody else has. So you can't complain that somebody is doing well on social media and then
1:03:54 – 1:08:17
The Challenge of Social Media Success
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  selling tickets in a, in a, in an arena. You can't complain on that.
2. LHLewis Howes
  But it is a, a level of focus, attention, and energy, and I feel like social media, in a sense, is its own art. It's like, do you wanna spend five hours a day thinking of one video, and is it gonna take off, or is it not gonna take off? It could be a full-time job thinking about bits on social media or how you're gonna start this content or the sh- whatever it might be. And we only have so much energy and attention. It's like, do you wanna be great on stand-up or your specials, or can you be great at everything?
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No.
4. LHLewis Howes
  I don't know. That's challenging.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No. I've, I've heard time and time again, you pick one thing, and you're great at that, that thing, and, and, and that's it. Not that's it. I mean, you can do other things, but your energy is c-... Listen, if I took my energy and said, "Okay, I gotta podcast. I gotta do the, the, the video of the week," or whatever it is, I'm not writing material. I'm not thinking about material. I'm thinking about all these other things. But I, it, I... You look at social media and go, "This got 38 million view?" You know, like-
6. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... you go there, and you're going, "There was really no time or energy thought into this. It was just kinda like it, this hit like a moment." And you don't, you can't explain why things are popular and why things are not. You'd like to think that... You know, it's just like cooking. If you're in, if you're in the, uh, the kitchen for three, four hours preparing a meal, and somebody's in the kitchen for five minutes preparing a meal, what's gonna be better? The five-minute meal or the, the guy that took the time?
8. LHLewis Howes
  You never know.
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I don't, I, I don't know. You would think it would be the guy that took the time. Uh, but now it just seems... I don't know. I can't figure out even today's humor. What are people laughing at? Because it's so subjective. It's like you look at something online and go, "I don't, I don't think that's funny." Or you go see somebody do stand-up and go, "I don't get it. I don't, I don't understand why this guy's got 15,000 people in the audience." Uh, it's so subjective, and to f- try and figure it out, you, you'll, you'll-
10. LHLewis Howes
  But what I think it is, the relationship they've created with their audience, what makes it funny to them. You know, it's like they, especially with kind of the online social media audiences with the, the content. It's like they've built a relationship of the content that they like in consuming that personality. And then they might go to sell out 15,000 people, and for you, it may not be that funny, or others, it may not be funny, but to their audience, they've found a connection humor.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You make a good point.
12. LHLewis Howes
  Probably same with you. It's like s- you know, you've captured an audience that just, like, sells out everything you do.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, that audience was... I, I, I've created it, uh, through the stand-up.
14. LHLewis Howes
  Yes.
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's not necessarily that people fell in love with me personally. They fell in love with the stand-up. What I think is happening is these podcasts. They fall in love with the personality.
16. LHLewis Howes
  Yes.
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  "Oh, God, this guy is like, he's going through so much stuff at home," and da da. And then he, he or she puts out tickets for sale, and they go, not necessarily for the stand-up- But for, to your point, "Oh, I have a connection with him because he farts in bed, too."
18. LHLewis Howes
  You're right. [laughs]
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Right? So, and if the person learns how to be great at stand-up or talented enough, they should have a great career, or a good career. Yeah, but y- to me, the s- the stand-up... Listen, you, you, you gotta do it. It's just, you, you have to do it. And, and, and, and-
20. LHLewis Howes
  Takes reps
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... I think if you went to go see a seasoned comedian and maybe a guy or a girl who hasn't really been s- you, you'd tell the difference, if it's, if, if it's right next to-
22. LHLewis Howes
  Of course
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... it's like eating a steak. You eat... If you're eating, if you're eating McDonald's, and you don't have any other comparison-
24. LHLewis Howes
  Tastes great
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... tastes phenomenal. [laughs]
26. LHLewis Howes
  Right. I hear that. Who are the, who's one stand-up comedian that you've seen in the last five years that doesn't have a big audience, that isn't selling out arenas, but you're just like, "Man, this person has really, they've got a gift. They've really studied well, they've put in the reps, they've put in the time," and it's just like they are funny every time, but they're not well-known yet? Who is that person?
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I wish I could give you a name. I'm not one of these guys,
1:08:17 – 1:13:15
Making My Mom Laugh
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  and I, I, I probably coulda done this... Actually, I, I did this with, um, I said Theo Von a while back. Guy was going on stage and really killing, but no one really knew who he was. This is what, seven years ago.
2. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um-
4. LHLewis Howes
  So he was crushing on stage.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, yeah. He, he, he, he came into his own t- in stand-up, like, it, it kinda happened... He was at it for a while, and then he, something clicked where it, he, he started doing-
6. LHLewis Howes
  And the video content started to take off, and the-
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, and then, and then the podcasting took off. So that was a guy that I kinda thought that was going to, to go places. But I'm not a guy now, now that I have a family.
8. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  The time is limited. I used to be-
10. LHLewis Howes
  You're not going out four nights a week.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
12. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I mean, I'll go to the Comedy Store tonight. I'm gonna do a s- two sets there, and I'm gonna go home. It's not like I'm gonna be hanging out, watching other guys or, or girls perform.
14. LHLewis Howes
  Sure, sure.
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So I don't know who the hot person is coming up, just because time. I, I don't, I don't have time.
16. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah. What's the, uh, best piece of advice your dad has given you lately? You're at the top of your game in terms of where you've ever been in the past. There's obviously a lot of room for you to grow, um, if you wanna grow. You've sold out Madison Square Garden five times. You've got a massive tour that's about to happen here, I think, next month all over, and, um, what is the best thing that your dad has said to you with all the success that you have at almost 51 years of age now?
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, I, I guess the, the advice is never to rest on your success. So, and then, you know, my mom is gonna watch this, too, and my mom is always, "Never talk about me."
18. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Right? She, she's always wondering how come she's not in the act, how come I, you know, talk about me on podcasts and whatnot, but I love my mother to death, and she's also a huge part of kinda giving me advice. Everybody goes to my dad because my dad, I always talk about him. But also my mom, you know, my mom is my muse. My mom is someone, if I could get dying laughing, I'm like, that, that, I, I'll use that on stage.
20. LHLewis Howes
  That works then.
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  That works. My mom is a good gauge of kind of what's funny, and when I call her and we get on a roll, uh, there's nothing, there's nothing better than making my mother laugh. O- other than my own family, when I get my mother going, it's like, because, uh, uh, [laughs] um, my mom is... My mom and my dad are divorced, and my mom is living in California near my sister, and she lives alone.
22. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And, um, I never thought my parents would have gotten divorced. Grew up in a family where [laughs] laughing, and now they're not together.
24. LHLewis Howes
  Mm.
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So for me, to make my mom laugh, not that she's, she's s- my mom goes out more than I do. She's got friends. She's at a jazz night here. She's having a glass of wine here and that and this, but I feel with my mother, if I can make her laugh, that, uh, it's just a, I don't know. It's a g- it's a good, it's selfishly, it's a good feeling for me because, you know, I, I never would've thought my mother would be living alone-
26. LHLewis Howes
  Mm
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... at 78 years old. I thought my, my parents were gonna grow old together and die together. I never thought, here, I never thought I'd call my mom and then have to call my dad. I always thought it was gonna be, "Ma, put Dad on."
28. LHLewis Howes
  Right.
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And it's not that way. And yeah, they got l- they got divorced later on in life, so for me, it was, you know, some, some, some kids, um, witness divorce early on. Maybe they don't know what's going on. M- "Why isn't there Mommy and Da-?" But when you have, like, a, a, a, a, a full 35 years to, like, they're together, and now, and now you got kids yourself, and, you know-
30. LHLewis Howes
  They're not coming to see your kids together.
1:13:15 – 1:18:27
Cherishing Family Moments
1. LHLewis Howes
  love about your mom the most?
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  My mom, um, it's just always there.
3. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Never like, uh, you know, always there. Mom's always gonna pick up the phone. Yeah. Always. So for me, um, I told myself I wasn't [laughs] I wasn't gonna get emotional, but I think this is appropriate, um, and especially now that my parents are getting up in age. You think they're always gonna be there, and sometimes you take it for granted. And, uh, I always try to make that a point in my head, like, my mom always says... I say, "Ma, I gotta call you back." She goes, "Yeah, right." 'Cause sometimes I don't call her back, and I should be more mindful of that. But, uh, yeah, my mom is, is gold.
5. LHLewis Howes
  Wow. That's beautiful, man.
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
7. LHLewis Howes
  If you could, uh, your parents are 70-
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  78 and 77.
9. LHLewis Howes
  Um, so let's, let's do a hypothetical question here. If you could fast-forward, call it 30 years, and you're 81, uh, 80, 81, and, uh, you continue to accomplish every dream that you have imaginable in your personal career but also in your personal life. You see your kids grow up the way you want to. You're there. You're loving. All these things happen in your life. And hypothetically, if you could be your 80-year-old self for a second or see him having a conversation with you, and he could know exactly what you're about to go through the next, next 30 years, and he could give you three pieces of advice for you today, what do you think your 80-year-old self would say to you today about how to live the next 30 years of your life?
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Wow. Uh, my 80-year-old self would tell me, no, first and foremost, um, "Stop worrying so much. Just take each day as a blessing. Don't, don't worry about what you cannot see in the future." 'Cause I'm always worried about what ifs.
11. LHLewis Howes
  Mm.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  What if this happens, what if that happens. "Don't worry." Um, also he would say, um, "Don't work so much."
13. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  "Don't, don't kill yourself working this much. Uh, spend time with your family." Uh, my, my dad has often said he, he, he worked too much. For what? You know, like, for what? You know, like, he missed a lot of the childhood memories, you know. Um, so he'd probably tell me to relax with the work, which I've often said, you know. After this tour, maybe, maybe I just go and do casinos or Las Vegas. You know, maybe pull back a little bit. This is, this is a big undertaking, this tour-
15. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... for me. It's, it's a lot. It's a-
17. LHLewis Howes
  How many cities?
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  94.
19. LHLewis Howes
  94 cities?
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  94 shows, I should say.
21. LHLewis Howes
  94 shows.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  94 shows.
23. LHLewis Howes
  How many months?
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  From July 11 to April, oh, 10th, I think. I shoot a special at the end. It's-
25. LHLewis Howes
  94 shows in a couple months?
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, no, no, April to, uh, I'm sorry. Now, July to April. So what is that, eight months?
27. LHLewis Howes
  Oh, sorry. Next-
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Next year
29. LHLewis Howes
  ... next year. Oh, gosh, I was thinking-
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
1:18:27 – 1:23:06
The Pressure to Monetize and Share Everything
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... just for the love of doing something, just to do something out of pure enjoyment, not figuring out, "How do I monetize?"
2. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, everything now is, like, if you have a hobby, put it up online, and then you could get a, a chef sauce-
4. LHLewis Howes
  Right
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... 'cause you're, you know. Like, I'm kinda tired of, like, trying to figure out how I exploit my own personal love of life for, and how it feeds into stand-up. Can't I just do something to do it-
6. LHLewis Howes
  Wow
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... without letting the world know I'm making pasta tonight? Why can't I just make pasta and not go, "Hey, guys, I'm doing..." You know, it's, it gets to become a little con- ... too consuming of, of, of like, you know, just wanna, just wanna go on vacation and not, like, tell anybody I'm going on vacation, or how do we, like, make people laugh while I'm on vacation? Do I have to? But no, it's like you, I feel like a lot of people have, feel pressure to constantly be putting out this content that, I don't know, do you really need to be... I mean, I just, it's, it gets, getting to, like, is there any privacy anymore? I get people are in the hospital, their, their grandfather's dying and they're whipping up a Facebook Live, "Grandpa's dying." You know, it's like, can't we just keep-
8. LHLewis Howes
  Right, right
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... it in the family?
10. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, I don't know. Maybe I'm antiquated in my thinking, but I, I don't know, I just feel like-
12. LHLewis Howes
  Have you ever been able to enjoy the tours, the big tours that you've done? Like, you said, "I'm gonna finish this, then hopefully kinda just pull back and maybe do casinos or smaller-
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm
14. LHLewis Howes
  ... smaller mini tours or weekend gigs or whatever," but do you think you can enjoy day by day these next nine months?
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Well, I told myself I, I'm going to enjoy it more than I ever have in the past. Because in the past, you know, like, people go, "Oh, you sold out Madison Square Garden four times. How was that experience?" I go, "I don't even remember because I was worried about selling out f- Fort Lauderdale the next weekend." You know what I'm saying?
16. LHLewis Howes
  Wow.
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So sometimes when you're in it, you're not really in it. You're, you're past it already, and you're not, you're not even, you're not even conscious of what's going on around you because your head might be other, other places. This time around, 'cause I'm bringing my family-
18. LHLewis Howes
  Oh, that's good
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... 'cause I'm bringing my kids-
20. LHLewis Howes
  That's cool
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... I want them to, like, relish-
22. LHLewis Howes
  That's beau- that's beautiful
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... relish in this. I, I, I get more enjoyment now than I always have. Uh, uh, I'm, I'm, I'm a big guy on hospitality. I, I love making feel good, people making f- uh, I love making people feel good. That's why I do stand-up comedy. But I also like making people feel good in other areas, whether it be me hosting at, at the house for a party or, um, you know, giving back to my family in a way where, you know, may- whether it be financial or whether it be educational. Whatever it, it is, I just like giving, and that's where I think this ch- charity component is going to come in w- after I d- do this tour to, to get more involved in the community. Stop worrying about what you're seeing, and go do something about it, you know what I'm saying? Like, how do we, how do we, how do I improve? 'Cause I think a lot of times, like, what am I gonna do? What, what am I going to do that's going to cause an impact in a problem that's so huge, you know? It's like voting, you know? You vote for-
24. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, it's hard
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... are you gonna vote? Well, well, well-
26. LHLewis Howes
  What's it gonna do? Yeah, yeah
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... what, what's my vote gonna do?
28. LHLewis Howes
  Well, you're going to how many cities?
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  90. I, well, 94 shows. I think it's, like, some 50 cities, 80 cities.
30. LHLewis Howes
  80, 80, 80 some cities. I mean, do you have a charity component already?
1:23:06 – 1:27:19
Giving Back on the Tour
1. LHLewis Howes
  uh, to whether to, to, to say something before or after on stage to every city. You and your family do something for a local Alzheimer's, uh, facility or schools, and to make it a point, maybe not every city, but you're saying, "Hey, as a family, we're gonna go to, show up at a few of these cities, to the children's hospital or to the Alzheimer's or to the old folks homes, or whatever it might be, and bring joy and serve."
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know, I need you as like a, as a lifeline, bro.
3. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I mean, to talk, talk-
5. LHLewis Howes
  Well, I feel like-
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... talk, talking to you, it's like, "Yeah, what?" Again, I'm sitting here as, as you're saying this, I'm going, "Why didn't I think of that?" You know? "Why didn't I think of having a charity component on the tour?" This is why I talk about-
7. LHLewis Howes
  Which is a... [laughs] I mean, 'cause you're focused on being the best at what you do. You're focused on the reps of comedy, of standup, of promotion. You don't have all the time and energy to see the blind spots.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
9. LHLewis Howes
  This is why I love having coaches, and I have a coach that supports me in almost every area of life. I don't know everything about money. How am I supposed to know about money, like you said, growing up with the t- scripts that we had as kids?
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
11. LHLewis Howes
  So I have to unlearn things and read books, find money mentors, invest in it, you know, go to courses, whatever it might be. Same thing with relationships. My parents were fighting all the time, screaming at each other. They got divorced when I was a teen. It was a nightmare. I left, I ran away from home to go to a private boarding school when I was 13, because I didn't wanna be at home. I didn't feel emotionally safe.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm.
13. LHLewis Howes
  I didn't know about relationships. I failed in multiple relationships until I'm in the relationship now, and it took years of coaching to heal, to unlearn. And I used to beat myself up s- and sh- feel shame thinking I should've known better. Why didn't I already know this? But I spent 15 years shaming myself, and that doesn't feel good. And so I've just learned through more com- self-compassion I'm not gonna know everything in the world. Let me try to surround myself with good coaches and mentors, and just learn a little bit more as I go, as I feel stuck or feel like I'm going through a problem. And so I was just saying it for you because I know you have a big platform in person, and you can move audiences to laugh. And when you can open someone's heart to laugh, you can get them to take action in other areas, or at least be aware. You can get them to listen. And if you wanna say a one-minute message about something you care about with your charity, I think it's a great opportunity. You can bring your kids on stage and say, "Hey, we're doing this as a part of our tour. We're going to these different Alzheimer's centers. We're doing kids school," whatever it might be that you care about.
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
15. LHLewis Howes
  I think it's a great way to enjoy this process even more over the next year-
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, I agree
17. LHLewis Howes
  ... by serving just a little bit outside of the comedy as well. So you can enjoy it and be of service-
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
19. LHLewis Howes
  ... and do good. But-
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, I'm-
21. LHLewis Howes
  We can talk later about it if you want more, more co-
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  [laughs]
23. LHLewis Howes
  I'm dying to coach you on this, but. [laughs]
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, it's a, it's a great idea, and, uh, I, I definitely wanna implement that.
25. LHLewis Howes
  And you got enough on your mind already, so maybe it's something your wife supports you with.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, no.
27. LHLewis Howes
  And, uh, it's like-
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I mean, this is something that's im- im- important, and, uh, it, it would make it more meaningful.
29. LHLewis Howes
  Exactly. Every time, you know, you talked about gratitude, um, and really wanting to enjoy this tour.
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm.
1:27:19 – 1:31:51
Spreading Positivity and Laughter
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  funny videos so people get a, you know, get away from... You start scrolling down any of these social media platforms, it's depending on your algorithm and what it's feeding you.
2. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-huh.
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  But, you know, uh, for me, I always stop on the videos that, you know, create a smile and not so much anxiety. And, and I don't even watch the news anymore.
4. LHLewis Howes
  I don't either.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So.
6. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, you put out, you put out, uh, humor and things that make people laugh. I try to put out positivity, and I think that's what people should consume more of.
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. I agree.
8. LHLewis Howes
  Things that bring a smile to someone's face. Uh, sebastianlive.com, make sure you guys get tickets. Bring your friends, your family. I just feel like especially over the next six months, I think you're doing this at the perfect time as there's gonna be so much chaos in the world with the election and the political season, and just, like, families probably, like, fighting with each other over, like, what's right and wrong and who to vote, all these different things. Like, just stop fighting. Go watch you live. Laugh. Bring your family. Bring your friends. Connect. Have fun. Um, we, we can enjoy life too.
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. And you know what? To reflect on what you said earlier about, um, laughter and, and, and how popular comedy is, and I think the reason is because to the point of people bickering red, you know, blue, and that's wrong, and the way you think is sucks, or whatever it is, when you get people together in a comedy club or arena or theater, uh, none of that is happening. It's just everybody is laughing in unison as one, uh, for an hour. Regardless of your political affiliation, your religion, or whatever it might be, everybody a- at least agrees, in my, in my, in my opinion, for an hour, everybody in that room agrees that this is funny, right? And then they leave, and then they beat the [censored] out of each other. But [laughs] but I think that's why people are looking for this. The, the, the, the people, people are so inundated with all this [censored] , whether it be you open up your iPad, your phone, you turn on the TV, you're just getting constantly bombarded by all this stuff, and people are looking for a release, an outlet, and I think comedy's providing that right now for people.
10. LHLewis Howes
  Mm.
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So yeah, you're right, I think this is a great time for, to tour and, uh-
12. LHLewis Howes
  Perfect timing, man. I hope, um, I, I hope... I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna message you s- halfway through and check in and making sure that you're enjoying the moments. I'm sure there's gonna be stress and travel and-
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
14. LHLewis Howes
  ... all these things, but I hope that you're enjoying it as well. And, uh, if you are watching or listening and you go and you get a VIP upgrade and you get to do a meet and greet with Sebastian, make sure to remind him to enjoy the moment.
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Enjoy.
16. LHLewis Howes
  And say, "Hey, School of Greatness, I heard you say you were gonna work on enjoying the moment."
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  [laughs] Well-
18. LHLewis Howes
  And, uh, make sure to remind him in case he's not. I do have two final questions for you.
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Okay.
20. LHLewis Howes
  Um, before I ask them, Sebastian, I just wanna acknowledge you. Again, this is our first time meeting, uh, and I wanna acknowledge you for your openness, your realness, and your honesty about where you're at in your life. You know, 50 years of living, uh, ups and downs, but a, a lot of joy, a lot of success, and a lot of fun and fulfillment.
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm.
22. LHLewis Howes
  And I acknowledge you for, there's some comedians I've had on that did, that they wanna be in comedy mode all the time, and it's fun, but I w- I appreciate that you're able to also open your heart and talk about things you're working on, things you're struggling with, things that you're, you know, excited about and all these different things. So I acknowledge you for just the real human connection that we've had and your, your open and realness, and, um, the journey you're at. I just think it's a beautiful journey to watch, so congratulations on everything, and I acknowledge you for the, the joy you bring to so many people in the world.
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Very, very nice of you to say all those things. Very nice. My question to you is-
24. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah [laughs]
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Is, is this something that, like, I like to acknowledge you for, is this something that you have learned from somebody else, or is this something that you came up with to do at the end of these shows? Or did, did you... 'Cause I, I think a lot of times, like, I'll take some, some of the stuff that you told me today.
26. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And I will repurpose it-
28. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-huh
29. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... and say
1:31:51 – 1:36:20
The Power of Acknowledgment
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  it like it's my own.
2. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Right?
4. LHLewis Howes
  Sure.
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  The positivity, the gratitude, even what you're saying now, I, I acknowledge you for, I think this is a good, it's a good thing to say to somebody because, you know, you go through an interview and you kind of almost recap it in your own way.
6. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
7. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Is this learned or is this something that you came up with on your own?
8. LHLewis Howes
  I don't know if anyone comes up with anything on their own. I never saw anyone s- at an end of an interview say, "I acknowledge you for what I'm seeing in you." But I have done a lot of courses, uh, personal development work, you know, trainings, mentors, coaches, and I think what I always wanted as a child was to be seen and acknowledged. And I think every child wants to be seen and acknowledged for their existence.
9. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
10. LHLewis Howes
  And many years I didn't feel seen and acknowledged, and so I overworked, I over hustled, I did whatever it took to be the best in my sports so that I was never neglected. That continued in the business world after I got injured. I overworked, I over trained. I was, you know, whatever I can do to be the best. When I hit 30, I'm 41 now, you know, I was a multimillionaire in the bank account. I had, like, a little audience. I had a successful business. Um, a little personal brand. But I was extremely miserable, and I was chasing validation from everyone else, but I didn't have it with myself. I wasn't able to acknowledge me or see me, the worst of me, the best of me, and everything in the middle. And so it's been an 11-year journey since starting this show of kind of reclaiming that power and ownership of, sure, it's nice to be seen and acknowledged by others, but the real tragedy is if we work so hard on the things we love and enjoy and we don't acknowledge ourself. And so I try to acknowledge me, you know, quietly every day and say, "Man, just keep doing the work. You're doing a good job. Sure, you can be better, but being consistent is a, is a great step."
11. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm.
12. LHLewis Howes
  And, um, I know that most people crave acknowledgement, and it's just something I started doing on the show. Again, I never saw someone do it, but I was just like, "I know people wanna feel acknowledged, and I want to speak into people what I see in them." So yeah, I started doing it at the end of every interview, and I just think it's, um... Imagine a world where everyone was able to acknowledge themselves better and the people in their lives better.
13. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm-hmm.
14. LHLewis Howes
  And, uh, you know, I'm not saying, like, your dad never saw you or your mom never saw you. They just were criticizing you all the time. It's not what happened obviously. They saw you and acknowledged you. But imagine a world where, you know, we can coach and empower people to level up and also see all the beauty inside of them. So that's-
15. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, it's-
16. LHLewis Howes
  ... part of the journey
17. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... it's a nice, it's a nice touch. And, and sometimes I don't know how to accept those acknowledgments, you know, like even the compliments. Like, I feel, I feel like...
18. LHLewis Howes
  It's hard for people to acknow- to receive.
19. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  To receive it. Yeah. It's like I almost wanna jump out of it.
20. LHLewis Howes
  I know.
21. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Like, I w-
22. LHLewis Howes
  It's very uncomfortable for a lot of people.
23. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah. Uh, it, it, as you were saying it, I'm like, "Ugh, another one."
24. LHLewis Howes
  I'm like, "Stop, stop." Yeah.
25. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  "He's doing another one?" You know? [laughs]
26. LHLewis Howes
  Well, it's interesting because, and the more, and the more I've... A- and most people are uncomfortable, and I don't do it to make people uncomfortable.
27. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, no, I know you don't.
28. LHLewis Howes
  But I've, I've learned that most people a- and comedians, believe it or not, you know, they want, or actors, they want the laughter. They want the, you know, it's... What's the... There's, like, a joke about comedians, I can't remember, and, like, actors about always needing applause growing up or something, or never having, like, their parents, like, acknowledge them or s- I can't remember. But there is a stereotype of actors and comedians needing that to fuel them to feel worthy, right? And I'm not saying you need that, but I've seen comedians struggle with receiving acknowledgement. Even when they get clapped on stage, it's like fueling something, but they still
1:36:20 – 1:40:40
Acknowledging Success in Comedy
1. LHLewis Howes
  don't feel enough sometimes. I don't know if that lands or if that, that speaks to your industry at all, but it's what I've noticed.
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I struggle with that. At the end of my show, I know some comedians that stay out there and they're bowing and this, you know-
3. LHLewis Howes
  Oh, right, right
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... this and, like, they're taking it-
5. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, yeah. They really receive it
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... taking it all in, right? Me, I wanna get out of there.
7. LHLewis Howes
  Thank you. Off the stage.
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
9. LHLewis Howes
  Really.
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And, and maybe people are wanting to give a standing ovation or maybe people are wanting to kind of applaud the performance more, and I cut it short because laughing at me is fine, but then acknowledging me is s- some, something switches. Every-
11. LHLewis Howes
  This i- this is interesting, if you're willing to go for a few minutes on this.
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
13. LHLewis Howes
  Something I've learned over the years, 'cause I used to say, "Nah," like, "I could do better." Like, when someone wouldn't, like, acknowledge me or celebrate me, I'd be like, "Yeah, but what about that one thing I missed?" I remember, I'll tell you a story. I, I broke a world record for the most receiving yards in a single game. 418 yards in college in one game.
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Whoa.
15. LHLewis Howes
  Um, 17 receptions ... five touchdowns, 418 yards in one game, and we lost the game. And afterwards, I'm pissed that we lost the game. I'm the last one in the shower to leave the locker room. I'm moping around, I'm frustrated, I'm angry. Everyone left the locker room. My coach comes in. I'm literally in the shower naked. He comes, it's an open shower, you know, for those-
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Mm
17. LHLewis Howes
  ... w- it's, guys shower naked.
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, yeah.
19. LHLewis Howes
  Anyways, coach comes in, he kinda creeps around the corner and just says, uh, "Congratulations, you broke a world record today. Most receiving yards in a single game ever in the history of college football, and no one's done this in the professional leagues either." And I was head against the, the shower kind of wall, the wa- hot water running down me, again, butt naked, and I'm thinking, "What?" I'm like, "We just lost the game." And he's like, "Congrats." And I was miserable for a week. Like, I'd done something no one in the history had ever done, but all I could focus on was like, "Yeah, but I dropped that one pass, and what if that was the thing that could've got us to win? It's still on me why we lost." It was like beating myself up. It took me weeks to be able to be like, "Oh, that's actually kinda cool that I did that." And I've learned over the years that when you block someone from saying, "Hey, that was awesome. Congratulations. What a beautiful job you did," when you say, "Nah," or you block it or you don't receive it, you're robbing that person of a gift. You're robbing the audience. And you're not doing this intentionally, so I'm not trying to put you down.
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
21. LHLewis Howes
  But you rob an audience of really being like, "Wow, I just had my mind blown. Thank you for giving me this hour of joy. My life was [censored] before I came here, and you took me out of the darkest place of my life. Without that, I don't know where I would've been tonight. I might've been drinking all night. I might've been beating someone up. I might've committed suicide. But because of your gift, your hard work, 50 years of life experience that you brought for this hour, you brought me joy." And if someone stands up and wants to applaud and scream, it's a disservice to rob them of that gift.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Hmm.
23. LHLewis Howes
  And again, I'm not blaming you or making you wrong-
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, no, I-
25. LHLewis Howes
  ... for never doing that in the past.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, yeah.
27. LHLewis Howes
  But I would, again, encourage you to take it in for a little longer than you're used to.
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
29. LHLewis Howes
  Be willing to stand there and see what people do, and just be uncomfortable for 60 seconds. See what happens-
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah
1:40:40 – 1:45:24
Finding Greatness Through Others
1. LHLewis Howes
  there might be three or four people-
2. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  [laughs]
3. LHLewis Howes
  ... that are saying that too.
4. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
5. LHLewis Howes
  You're probably gonna get a few people that said, "What was he out there for 30 seconds tweeting out there?" You're gonna see that.
6. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah, yeah.
7. LHLewis Howes
  You know, you don't have to be out there five minutes, but it's like if you stay five seconds, try to stay 50 seconds. You know? It's like extend it and see how you can make yourself, as an experience, feel uncomfortable, and really receive and enjoy those moments. That would be my suggestion, but you didn't come here to get coached by me, Sebastian. I-
8. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  No, no, it's, it's good.
9. LHLewis Howes
  [laughs]
10. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  It's a good learning, uh, experience for me, so but thank you for, uh-
11. LHLewis Howes
  Of course
12. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  ... I, I have to acknowledge you for giving me some, uh, nuggets and morsels of knowledge where I'll, I'll leave here and, uh, implement into my own life, that one being the, the, the charity, uh, event, and another being the, um, the relishing and the applause.
13. LHLewis Howes
  The receiving, yeah. I told you before we started my intention is to make this the most powerful conversation you've ever had.
14. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  And it was, it was, it was damn good, I gotta tell you. It was, uh-
15. LHLewis Howes
  And to impact people around the world.
16. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Yeah.
17. LHLewis Howes
  Um, and so I have, uh, one final question for you. I've acknowledged you. You shared kind of your three lessons if you were 80, what you would tell yourself today. You said, "Stop worrying." You said, "Don't work so much, uh, and be with family." I don't know if you said the third thing, but is there one other thing that your 80-year-old self would say to your, your current self?
18. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, take care of your health.
19. LHLewis Howes
  Uh-huh.
20. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Um, which I am in the process of doing. I, I feel like, um, you know, you spend money on a car. You spend money on vacation. Why don't we spend money on becoming the most, uh, healthiest person you could possibly be? Because I think sometimes, especially now you're getting up in to your 50s, not to say that, ah, that's old, but you know, things, parts are getting older, and they're starting to fall apart. I just snapped my calf muscle performing, um, and had to do the rest of the show limping around.
21. LHLewis Howes
  Oh, man. That's tough.
22. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  So I don't want those things happening anymore. I mean, I work out. It, it's not a workout where I come out of there exhausted. I'm moving around. I, you know, light stretching and, and what have you, but the workouts of like to exhaustion are not something I'm, I'm doing.
23. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah.
24. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Just because I'm afraid what else is gonna snap.
25. LHLewis Howes
  Right.
26. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I mean, I, I, I was talking about this on Joe Rogan. I snapped two of my, my, my biceps. I, I, I ru- I ruptured my bicep.
27. LHLewis Howes
  The same time?
28. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Uh, not at the same time.
29. LHLewis Howes
  Different times.
30. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  Different times, but there's no trauma. I had no trauma in, in it. I di- it, it's a, it sound like-
1:45:24 – 1:46:00
Reserving greatness for true greatness
1. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  the GOAT now.
2. LHLewis Howes
  Oh, yeah.
3. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  I mean, goats are there.
4. LHLewis Howes
  Yeah, I saw. [laughs]
5. SMSebastian Maniscalco
  You know what I'm saying? So I think if we reserve greatness for true greatness, it has much more meaning than if you start throwing this word around for every, everything that you see.
6. SPSpeaker
  First of all, you gotta know what not having peace is to really understand peace. So, uh, unfortunately, I've h- I have had some, some rough moments where I'm like, "I am miserable."
7. LHLewis Howes
  Really?
8. SPSpeaker
  "I am freaking miserable." And not because of my work. I love what I do. It is the greatest feeling in the world.

Episode duration: 1:46:00

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Intro

Overcoming Discouragement and Building a Career

The Road to Success

Parental Concerns and Supporting Children's Potential

Decision-making and Remodeling

Financial Preparedness and Support from a Spouse

Vulnerability and self-editing

Surreal Moments in My Career

Finding Peace in Positivity

The Daily State of the Industry Update

Overcoming Insecurity and Pressure in Acting

Crying on Set with De Niro

The Rise of Comedy in the Age of Social Media

The Challenge of Social Media Success

Making My Mom Laugh

Cherishing Family Moments

The Pressure to Monetize and Share Everything

Giving Back on the Tour

Spreading Positivity and Laughter

The Power of Acknowledgment

Acknowledging Success in Comedy

Finding Greatness Through Others

Reserving greatness for true greatness

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