The Mindset Mentor: How To CONNECT To Your FUTURE & ATTRACT Your Dreams Effortlessly (It's SIMPLE!)

1. 0:00 – 3:26

   Intro

   1. RDRob Dial0:00

      He said, "The problem is, Rob, you're acting like a victim, and you're making all of these excuses. Your life will not change until you decide to be the CEO of your life." That was the most probably life-changing moment that I've ever had in my entire life, 'cause I was like, "I get it."

   2. LHLewis Howes0:12

      We have the inspiring Rob Dial from The Mindset Mentor in the house.

   3. RDRob Dial0:16

      I think we've been taught goals incorrectly. Instead of having to, like, white-knuckle our way to our goals, which I did for years, and push, and push, and push, and bash my head into walls and just go anyways, instead of having to push, I can actually feel pulled towards my goal. We are so incredible as humans. Our brains are so incredible that you and I right now can sit in this moment in your basement and think about a future, and no matter what that future is, our brain can actually make our body feel the feelings if it's happening right now.

   4. LHLewis Howes0:42

      Mm-hmm.

   5. RDRob Dial0:42

      The problem is the universe is abundant, and I think scarcity only lives in the human mind. I would be afraid to check my bank account, 'cause there was times when I checked my bank account and it was not enough... There was negative money in my bank account many, many times.

   6. LHLewis Howes0:54

      What would you say is the number one thing you did to heal your relationship with money and start bringing in more financial abundance? What do you think are the three energies that are blocking people the most from success, love, and fulfillment in their life?

   7. RDRob Dial1:08

      I think the, the main thing is the-

   8. LHLewis Howes1:12

      Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Rob Dial from The Mindset Mentor in the house. My man.

   9. RDRob Dial1:18

      What's up, buddy? Good to be in-

   10. LHLewis Howes1:19

       Good to see you

   11. RDRob Dial1:20

       ... your new studio.

   12. LHLewis Howes1:21

       Welcome.

   13. RDRob Dial1:22

       Yeah, this is great.

   14. LHLewis Howes1:22

       Yeah, new studio, home studio. Pumped about this.

   15. RDRob Dial1:24

       We're in your basement. This is exciting.

   16. LHLewis Howes1:26

       I know. The greatness basement.

   17. RDRob Dial1:27

       Yeah. That's where, that's where we're doing it.

   18. LHLewis Howes1:29

       And, uh, I'm excited about this because we just made an announcement recently for you joining the Greatness Network, so welcome. You're the first member of the Greatness Network.

   19. RDRob Dial1:36

       Thanks, man.

   20. LHLewis Howes1:37

       Excited to see what we're gonna build as the hub of inspiration. So I want everyone to check out your show, subscribe, check it out. Amazing content you've been doing for eight years now-

   21. RDRob Dial1:46

       Yeah

   22. LHLewis Howes1:46

       ... with your podcast, right?

   23. RDRob Dial1:47

       August will be nine, yeah.

   24. LHLewis Howes1:49

       Nine years, man.

   25. RDRob Dial1:50

       Mm-hmm.

   26. LHLewis Howes1:50

       There's not many of us who've done it for nine plus.

   27. RDRob Dial1:52

       When I started, it was like you and Tim Ferriss. I don't think there's anybody [laughs] .

   28. LHLewis Howes1:54

       I know, right? Yeah.

   29. RDRob Dial1:55

       And Joe Rogan. That was about it.

   30. LHLewis Howes1:56

       That was it, man.
2. 3:26 – 6:46

   The Psychology of Taking Action

   1. RDRob Dial3:26

      Okay, when I, when I wrote the book that I, that I just got out last year, I was like, "What do I do?" Like, if I look at 1,400 episodes of The Mindset Mentor podcast, like, what is it that I do? And it's more than anything else, it's how to understand yourself so you can take action. Like, the original title of the book was The Psychology of Taking Action-

   2. LHLewis Howes3:42

      Mm

   3. RDRob Dial3:42

      ... because I find that so many people have trouble with it, and I had a lot of trouble with it. And so, like, it's, it's interesting. Like, we can look and say, "Oh yeah, like, we both have successful podcasts. It must be so nice to have a successful podcast," but it's like there's a lot of fears that come up-

   4. LHLewis Howes3:57

      Mm

   5. RDRob Dial3:57

      ... in doing this. I mean, like, we have to put ourself out there. That's a lot of judgment that can come-

   6. LHLewis Howes4:00

      Yes

   7. RDRob Dial4:00

      ... from it, right? I think the first thing that, that, that's probably the most important is, like, what feels right? Um, I don't know about you, but I didn't start a podcast for money. And when you started a podcast, there wasn't the money.

   8. LHLewis Howes4:13

      No.

   9. RDRob Dial4:13

      When I started podcasting, there's-

   10. LHLewis Howes4:14

       There's no money for the first five, six years

   11. RDRob Dial4:15

       ... there's no money... There's no... I didn't even know there was a way to monetize it, right?

   12. LHLewis Howes4:18

       Yeah.

   13. RDRob Dial4:18

       So there was like... It wasn't a money thing. There was a part of me that was like, "What feels like the thing that I wanna do?" And for me, like, I actually felt obligated to start The Mindset Mentor, 'cause I was... The exact moment that it happened, I can tell you exactly what happened. I was in Jason's Deli with my girlfriend at the time, now wife, and I was sitting there, and it was like, it was like a movie where it was like a fever pitch, where it was like I started getting really stressed out, really anxious. I was looking around me, and there was all these people that were, like, yelling at their kids, and they were... You know, it just seemed like they were... I, I don't know if it was reality or if it was just in my head. And it was like everyone looked like they were miserable around me, and I was, like, feeling all of it. And this is, like, the beginning of 2015, so nine years ago, right? And I look at Lauren, and I go, "I think I'm gonna start a podcast." And she's like, "What is a podcast," [laughs] right? Like she, she didn't really know what it was back then. I was like, "I had this microphone," this exact one that we're using, a Shure SM7B, 'cause I was... I'm, I'm a musician, so I had the setup.

   14. LHLewis Howes5:14

       Wow.

   15. RDRob Dial5:14

       And I was like, "I have things, I have traumas that I've overcome in my life that self-development helped me with, and I wanna try to... I feel obligated to teach that to people." And it just felt right, which is the most important thing. And so, like, I think the first step is don't ever chase money. I heard a quote, I think it was from Oprah, uh, where she said, "Follow your passion. Money comes second." Money always comes second. And so I think a lot of people always go money first. "How can I make money right now?" And I think the, the thing about it is if someone follows passion, the money might not be there right away, but I think that if you fast-forward five or six years, you go, "Oh my God, I didn't expect it to be this good."

   16. LHLewis Howes5:54

       Mm.

   17. RDRob Dial5:54

       Right? Like when you, you think about it-

   18. LHLewis Howes5:55

       You might have to have some patience, though.

   19. RDRob Dial5:57

       That's the problem, is most people want it right now.

   20. LHLewis Howes5:59

       They want it now.

   21. RDRob Dial5:59

       They, they, they're real bad with delayed gratification. And so- I think the first thing is the feeling. Like, what feels like the thing that you want to do? And I think a lot of people don't give themself enough space and silence to be able to think. Like, a lot of times we're keeping so busy, we're always on Instagram. Like, I recently deleted Instagram completely from my phone. Everything, I run through my team just because I, I want more silence in my life. Because I personally believe just from, you know, I'm not religious any sort of way, but I believe that God, the universe, life speaks in silence. So the more silence I can have, the more clear I can be on what I'm supposed to do.

   22. LHLewis Howes6:32

       Mm.

   23. RDRob Dial6:33

       And so whenever I've been in silence and I get a feeling, I trust that feeling, like, really deeply, and I'm, I'm okay going into whatever darkness it might be in front of me and not knowing the path. So I think the feeling's the first thing.

   24. LHLewis Howes6:44

       Interesting.

   25. RDRob Dial6:45

       The second thing-

   26. LHLewis Howes6:45

       But you need

3. 6:46 – 9:58

   Following Your Passion and Becoming a Different Person

   1. LHLewis Howes6:46

      space and time to be able to feel-

   2. RDRob Dial6:47

      A lot of space and time

   3. LHLewis Howes6:48

      ... and analyze and assess your-

   4. RDRob Dial6:51

      Mm-hmm

   5. LHLewis Howes6:51

      ... thoughts and feelings.

   6. RDRob Dial6:52

      Yeah.

   7. LHLewis Howes6:52

      It's kind of like you felt called-

   8. RDRob Dial6:54

      Yeah

   9. LHLewis Howes6:54

      ... to do something, and it was kind of either nagging you, calling you, pulling you to do this, 'cause you kept listening to the voice inside of you-

   10. RDRob Dial7:01

       Yeah

   11. LHLewis Howes7:01

       ... that said, "Do this thing. Do this thing." You didn't know why-

   12. RDRob Dial7:05

       Right

   13. LHLewis Howes7:05

       ... but you felt excited about it, nervous about it, but also, like, this is something you're supposed to do. And maybe you fail-

   14. RDRob Dial7:11

       Mm-hmm

   15. LHLewis Howes7:11

       ... but it's something you're supposed to do.

   16. RDRob Dial7:13

       Yeah. And, and the thing about it that I think is important for people to understand is your passion doesn't always have to be your paycheck. I think a lot of people get that misunderstood. Like, w- I think you and I are probably two of the luckiest people alive-

   17. LHLewis Howes7:23

       Yeah

   18. RDRob Dial7:23

       ... where we get paid for doing something that we're so passionate about. Like, it is what we love to do. And for some people, it's not always that way. And so if someone's looking, there, there's two different paths. If someone's looking to make money, well, what's something that you could do that could make you money that you could at least enjoy? If someone's looking for passion, it could be something completely different. You know? Like, I, I always tell a story, I had a lady who was in one of my coaching programs one time, and she was, like, real depressed, and I was like, "What do you love?" Like, "What's one... What's a moment in your life where you felt, like, so much energy?" And she's like, "I have horses, and we had special needs children come over to my farm and got to, like, do therapy with the horses. That's when the most alive I've ever felt." And I was like, but she goes, and then she goes, "But I can't make any money doing that."

   19. LHLewis Howes8:02

       Mm.

   20. RDRob Dial8:02

       And I said, "What if you just had a job that you enjoy, you spend time that it pays your bills, but it gives you more free time to be able to help these children?" And she's like, "That feels good." And I was like, "There might be something down the road where you might figure in three or four years that it'll make you money. But really what it is is, like, how can I enjoy my life more?" And it, and so for, the first thing I think is the feeling. The second thing for people is you have to understand, like, you literally have to become a different person.

   21. LHLewis Howes8:27

       Mm-hmm.

   22. RDRob Dial8:28

       And that's what's scary for people, is that I have to be different. Like, if I go back to Lewis 12 years ago-

   23. LHLewis Howes8:33

       Yeah

   24. RDRob Dial8:33

       ... you're not the same Lewis as you were because you had to become and mold yourself into a different person. I feel like I'm a different person as well. I don't think our, my podcast could be where it is now because I wasn't good enough to be here.

   25. LHLewis Howes8:45

       Right.

   26. RDRob Dial8:45

       But years and years and years and years and years of work, 1,400 podcast episodes, allowed me to get to the point where I can speak in a way that I guess is better than the way that I used to-

   27. LHLewis Howes8:54

       Yes

   28. RDRob Dial8:54

       ... or more concisely, more value. But it doesn't just come like that. I think that's, that's part of the thing, is that you'll see incremental changes, and I truly believe the, the longer that time goes on, the more I believe in, like, the Chinese bamboo story, which is, you know, you plant the, the seed, you water it. First year, nothing. Second year, nothing. Third year, nothing. Fourth year, nothing. Fifth year, nothing. Sixth year, it grows 80 feet in about six months. And they say, they say sometimes you can, like, literally watch it grow.

   29. LHLewis Howes9:19

       Wow.

   30. RDRob Dial9:20

       I feel like it's the exact same way for success, where it's like you have to find the path that you're okay with going down, that you feel good about, that you are passionate about. And I feel like eventually the universe kind of comes to your side and conspires with you. If it's like, hey, this is the thing that gives you energy, I think that's the other way that God speaks, is, like, through energy. Like, if I get energy, I'll 100% have more energy after this podcast than before, because I love doing this stuff. Like, this is what lights me up. And I think that's how, when you look at the entire universe, it's all energy. I think that's, that's us being like, "Okay, if I'm silent, I can hear the messages, and I can start feeling the energy of what gives me energy," and I think that's

4. 9:58 – 13:19

   Finding Sources of Energy and Drain

   1. RDRob Dial9:58

      the stuff that we're supposed to be doing with our lives.

   2. LHLewis Howes10:00

      Mm-hmm. How do we know when something is fueling us and giving us more energy?

   3. RDRob Dial10:03

      I mean, I think it's usually quite apparent, right? So there's some people you get around and you're like, "Oh, g-" There's some people you can think about getting around and you're like, "Oh, man."

   4. LHLewis Howes10:10

      You're like drained.

   5. RDRob Dial10:10

      [laughs] You already feel your energy getting drained from it, right? So it's like, uh, I've always heard, like, people are like they're either batters or they're vacuums. They either suck energy from you or they give you energy. Um, I think there's also, you know, uh, things that we do that are batters and vacuums. You know, I think, I think people underestimate, uh, how much energy it takes to go to a job that you hate.

   6. LHLewis Howes10:29

      Mm.

   7. RDRob Dial10:30

      Like, to drive.

   8. LHLewis Howes10:30

      Exhausting.

   9. RDRob Dial10:31

      To drive to, to get yourself-

   10. LHLewis Howes10:33

       Think about how much you hate this thing.

   11. RDRob Dial10:34

       Right.

   12. LHLewis Howes10:34

       Yeah.

   13. RDRob Dial10:34

       You gotta wake up in the morning, and I did this for years, right? I did this for years. I had to wake up in the morning, I had to get myself ready, and the whole time I was like, "I don't wanna go to this job." Like, my... I remember just one of my bosses, just hating this guy, right? And he was just so rude to every one of the sales reps, all of us, and I had to get myself ready, I had to get in the car, I had to drive there, I had to walk in, I had to put on a face like I wanted to be there for nine, 10 hours a day every single day. It takes more energy to go to a job than you, that you hate than to build something that you actually love, and I think that's what a lot of people need to actually start to understand. And, you know, Alex Hormozi put up a post a, a little while ago, and it was like, "Most people say they want more free time to build their business, but they have a full-time job." And he said, "If you look at it, you have 104 days a year. If you have 52 weeks times two, you have weekends, you have 104 days a year to build the thing that you're actually passionate about."

   14. LHLewis Howes11:26

       104 days.

   15. RDRob Dial11:27

       Yeah. And it might take-

   16. LHLewis Howes11:28

       That's a lot of days

   17. RDRob Dial11:28

       ... it's a lot of days. That's a, a, you know, almost a, a third of the year.

   18. LHLewis Howes11:32

       You can get a lot done.

   19. RDRob Dial11:32

       You know, when you, you can get a lot done in 104 days. And so it's like sometimes you do have to go out of balance to go back in balance. You know? Like, if you look at, like, the beginning stage of, of growing your podcast, there was a lot of hours, I'm sure.

   20. LHLewis Howes11:43

       Uh-huh, yeah.

   21. RDRob Dial11:44

       And there's probably a lot less hours now where you're able to g- You went way far this way, and now you're way far this way, if you want to be that way. And you can go back and forth between it, but, um, I think that people just need to be aware of, like, all right, being in this, the, around this person, do I get more energy? Do I g- do, do I feel like they're sucking energy from me? Doing this task, do I get energy from it? Do I feel like it's sucking energy from me? Like, one of the things, I had a podcast episode come out the other day, uh, about how ADHD is a superpower and, and this is one thing I think. Like, I hate Some of the words that are used, like it's a deficit is what is... Like, as something is wrong with me if I have it.

   22. LHLewis Howes12:20

       Attention deficit disorder, right? Yeah

   23. RDRob Dial12:21

       Right. Attention deficit disorder, like there's something wrong with my brain. When in reality, if you look at somebody who has ADHD, when they find something that they're passionate about, they have what's called hyperfocus. Like, they can zone out the entire world. And so-

   24. LHLewis Howes12:33

       And obsess.

   25. RDRob Dial12:34

       Yeah. Right

   26. LHLewis Howes12:35

       Ah.

   27. RDRob Dial12:35

       And so what really ADHD is, is a low [censored] meter.

   28. LHLewis Howes12:38

       Mm.

   29. RDRob Dial12:38

       Like, "I can't do this BS." Like, "I'm not gonna do this anymore."

   30. LHLewis Howes12:41

       Or, "I'm just not excited or interested in it."
5. 13:19 – 16:39

   Overcoming Reading Challenges

   1. LHLewis Howes13:19

      insecure because I could not read and comprehend what I was reading.

   2. RDRob Dial13:23

      Yeah.

   3. LHLewis Howes13:23

      And in eighth grade I had a second-grade reading level when they tested me, and it was just always terrifying to read aloud in, in class because I would skip words and I would... I couldn't understand it. But I think that deficit or inefficiency in me with that allowed me to focus on other areas of my life where I became very, you know, uh, proficient in.

   4. RDRob Dial13:46

      Mm-hmm.

   5. LHLewis Howes13:46

      It's what allowed me to find something else and become a master in other ways, but-

   6. RDRob Dial13:50

      Yeah

   7. LHLewis Howes13:52

      ... it was a struggle for 18 years, man.

   8. RDRob Dial13:54

      Yeah. I mean, I've... I, I, I'll be honest with you too, like, I've... There's many times in school when I felt like I was stupid. I remember I switched... I, we lived in a bad part of town when I was younger, and then we moved from second grade into a, a better part of town. A little bit better. It wasn't great, but it was still a little bit better part of town, and we had these... It was a small school. We had split classes-

   9. LHLewis Howes14:10

      Uh-huh

   10. RDRob Dial14:10

       ... which means that second graders and third graders were together. I was in third grade, and I remember sitting in the s- in the room trying to figure out how to read. Like, I... We... It wasn't taught to me, and I was in third grade. I couldn't figure it out, and all the second graders were reading out loud.

   11. LHLewis Howes14:23

       No way.

   12. RDRob Dial14:23

       And I was like, "These kids that are younger than me can read, and I can't read. I must be stupid." And so I think that, you know, my sister, uh, homeschools her children, and she's never forced reading on them because she... Uh, and she's taught me a lot through this. She's never forced reading on them, and she's like, "When they're ready to read, they'll read." And one of her kids didn't start reading till he was, like, 10, 11 years old and wasn't into it. Now he reads more than all the other kids, but it was never forced on him. And so I think it's super important for anyone who has children out there to realize, like, sometimes it just takes time for your children to catch up-

   13. LHLewis Howes14:52

       Bang

   14. RDRob Dial14:52

       ... and their brain to change. But there's... I don't believe in using the word deficit because then we automatically think there's something wrong with me, and if there's something wrong with me, I have that identity, and that identity can go with me the rest of my life.

   15. LHLewis Howes15:04

       So I heard you say we should start with, you know, silence and our awareness first, right?

   16. RDRob Dial15:10

       Mm-hmm.

   17. LHLewis Howes15:10

       Should we be thinking about... Is that a mindset thing, or should we be thinking about habits, vision, goals? Like, if we're really trying to transform in the next three, six, 12 months-

   18. RDRob Dial15:20

       Yeah

   19. LHLewis Howes15:20

       ... what are the next steps then around that?

   20. RDRob Dial15:23

       Yeah.

   21. LHLewis Howes15:23

       Do we have to tr- change all of our habits and be extreme? Do we need to change our vision or get clear on something?

   22. RDRob Dial15:28

       Yeah.

   23. LHLewis Howes15:29

       I- you know, what is the steps we need to do after that?

   24. RDRob Dial15:32

       Yeah. I mean, first off you kinda figure out what it is or what at least feels right. And then there's a, there's a-

   25. LHLewis Howes15:37

       Energetically.

   26. RDRob Dial15:38

       Right. And there's a, there's a really great book that's now a, a children's movie that, that came out. It's called the, uh... If I remember the order, it's The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, The Horse. There's a part of it where, uh, the little boy is, is in the forest and he's like, "I, I, I, I can't see my way out of the forest." And the horse is like, "Can you see the next step?" And he said, "Yes." He said, "Just take that." And it's like I think that people who overthink, what happens is, and I tend to do this, and my, my wife is a really big planner, so I've seen it in her, is we decide we wanna do something, and then we think about everything that has to be done to get there. Like some... I used to sit down with people and be like, "Let's make your 10-year goal." And for some people that makes them excited. For someone that's a planner, they see all 3,650 days today, and they all have to be done. And so they actually become, like, demotivated-

   27. LHLewis Howes16:19

       Wow

   28. RDRob Dial16:20

       ... by a 10-year goal. And so I think it's important, and, and I actually put this in my book, is, is, is I think we've been taught goals incorrectly. I think it's good to have a goal. Like, this year I want to be here at the end of the year. And, but that's a results-based goal, which is, h- from today I want to be here. That's a result. From

6. 16:39 – 19:50

   Action-based goals for success

   1. RDRob Dial16:39

      there, I think what we need to do is then forget about the results-based goal after we create action-based goals, which is what are the actions that I need to take every day incrementally to get me there? And if we just take the right actions, then eventually we're gonna get there. And so, like, for instance, uh, we've talked a lot about podcasts today, right? So it's like, I wanna have a podcast doing a million downloads a year in a year. Okay. Cool. You can look at that and be like, "I'm at zero right now. Oh my God, that's a lot. Well, what do I need to do in order to get there?" And you break it down incrementally and just take your action-based goals, and as long as you get those done every day, a checklist of two or three things. Okay, I recorded a podcast today. For me it was like, I... Okay, most people put out one podcast a week. I'm gonna put out three 'cause then I will get three times better within a year.

   2. LHLewis Howes17:23

      Mm.

   3. RDRob Dial17:23

      That's just the way I thought about it. I'll just be three times further in a year. And so I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna say, "Okay, I need to get three episodes done this week. I need to plan three episodes. I need to record three episodes. I need to get those done." Don't worry about the results because eventually the results are gonna come. And so it's like what's, what's important is are you heading in the right direction for the goal that you wanna actually hit? Are you taking the right action? And then the thing that you just have to let go of, which is hard for most people, is the time. Time's gonna work itself out. And so goals are super simple. There's the direction, there's the action, and then you just let go of time, and eventually you get there. Sometimes you get there sooner. A lot of times you get there later on down the road, but as long as you're heading in the right direction, you will eventually get to the destination that you're shooting for.

   4. LHLewis Howes18:04

      Why do people obsess so much about having results sooner than they, I guess, should have them?

   5. RDRob Dial18:10

      I mean, I think- Everybody... I, I get... I do this in my own business, right? Like, I'll sit down with my, my VP of operations, and I'll be like, "Okay, here's the thing that we need to do," and then I get stressed that it's not already done yet. Like, immediately, I'm like, "Why did I not know this thing was already here? Like, I want it to be done." It's like, "This is gonna take three months. I've gotta be patient with this thing." Like, nobody expects to go into the gym for the first time in a long time, wake up the next morning, and have a six-pack. Like, we know that things take time, but I think that we have been, we have kind of, not in- intentionally, but we've been kind of brainwashed to, to want instant gratification. Like-

   6. LHLewis Howes18:42

      Mm-hmm

   7. RDRob Dial18:43

      ... you, you got that smoothie delivered, right? You didn't even have to leave your house, and some guy came to your house and brought you a smoothie.

   8. LHLewis Howes18:48

      Yeah.

   9. RDRob Dial18:48

      Right? And, and if, if I want, uh, we had breakfast delivered to us this morning. We ordered it last night, and immediately got to our place here. Um, and then so we're used to it, where it's like I could... I don't even have to pick up my phone. I could just say, "Hey, Siri," you know, "what is this thing?" And she can give me information immediately. So we're so used to getting instant gratification, it's kind of been trained in us in 2024, but nothing takes, noth- nothing that is amazing happens fast. Like, if you're, you know, you say, say your, your wife gets pregnant, right? The... How ridiculous would it be if you went up to her and you're like, "Hey, listen, I know it's supposed to take nine months-"

   10. LHLewis Howes19:21

       [laughs]

   11. RDRob Dial19:22

       "... but, like, but, like, c- I wanna go on vacation by the end of the year. Like, could you get it done in, like, four or five?" Like, she'd smack you if you, if you did that.

   12. LHLewis Howes19:28

       Mm-hmm.

   13. RDRob Dial19:28

       Right? Because things take time. You know, the universe or God builds a baby in nine months. And so it's like, I can make this d- this decision of I'm gonna do this thing, I'm gonna take the right action, but the universe or God decides how long this thing's gonna take until you actually get there. It doesn't matter how long it takes. What matters is today am I taking the right action to get me there? One of my, one of my first mentors used to

7. 19:50 – 23:13

   Redirecting Towards Goals

   1. RDRob Dial19:50

      say something to me that I say to myself all the time, which is, "Is what I'm doing right now getting me closer to or further from my goals?" If I ask myself that 20 times a day, it just helps me redirect in the moment to get back on path, and it's, it's super simple. Is what you're doing right now get you closer to or further from your goals?

   2. LHLewis Howes20:06

      And I think if you think that, on that every single day and every sing- single moment, is this thought helping me get closer to my goals?

   3. RDRob Dial20:12

      For sure.

   4. LHLewis Howes20:12

      Is this action, is the food I'm eating helping me get closer to my goals? Is this conversation helping me get closer? Is me scrolling on social media helping me get closer?

   5. RDRob Dial20:21

      Right.

   6. LHLewis Howes20:21

      Whatever that is, like moment by moment you could be thinking and asking yourself, "Is this part of a process that's helping me get closer to transforming my life-

   7. RDRob Dial20:30

      Yeah

   8. LHLewis Howes20:30

      ... and having the goals that I want faster?"

   9. RDRob Dial20:33

      Yeah.

   10. LHLewis Howes20:34

       But most people are on such autopilot that they're not willing to, I guess, brainwash their, their minds in a positive way-

   11. RDRob Dial20:41

       Mm-hmm

   12. LHLewis Howes20:41

       ... to constantly get back on track. Why do you think it's so hard to stay focused on our dreams and goals today more than ever?

   13. RDRob Dial20:49

       Well, 'cause it's not, it's not who you are. It's not who you've ever been. It's outside of your comfort zone. Like, when, when I see a human, I always... I love people. Like, I love sitting with somebody and thinking to myself as I'm speaking to them, "I wonder what their childhood was like."

   14. LHLewis Howes21:03

       Mm.

   15. RDRob Dial21:03

       "I wonder what their relationship with their parents are like. I wonder what their relationship with their wife is like." Because, uh, because all we are as adults are, we're just a set of patterns y- that we learn from childhood. And so, like, if you meet somebody, one of the things that I think is important is if you meet somebody and you're like, "I don't agree with them," there's a pretty good chance that if you had the exact same life that they did, you would be exactly the same that they are, which means I can change myself at any moment just by changing my patterns and my thoughts. Um, one of the hardest things in, that I think people really need to dive into is, like, what is the identity that they have of themselves? Like, who do they think they are? And so, you know, going back to what we were talking about, like, there was definitely times in my childhood, and I know if you heard, you've you said it before, where, like, we thought we were dumb. And that thought alone, especially from a, a child eight, nine, 10 years old, is like, "I am dumb. I am. Like, I'm, I'm a stupid kid, and I don't understand it." So then I would sit there in class and the teacher would teach something, and I'm like, "Yeah, this isn't going through. Like, this isn't... And it must not be going through 'cause I'm dumb." And so I'm actually reinforcing that at every single moment.

   16. LHLewis Howes22:09

       When does that pattern break?

   17. RDRob Dial22:10

       It, for a lot of people, never does. Like, the, if someone's listening, the good thing is if someone's listening to this podcast, there's been a moment in their life where they've gone, "Yeah, I don't like this anymore. Like, there must be something else." Because for the, for most people, they're still in the patterns that you meet, and that's, that's one thing that's really important. Like, I was, I was driving yesterday and, you know, the, I was driving past a lot of homeless people and, um, and I was like, "Man, that's so sad," because I, I just wonder what happened in their childhood. Like, that's... I'm never judging anybody. I mean, my dad was, was kind of homeless for a little while, and in and out of jail, and so I never look at somebody and judge them. But I look at them, and I'm like, "I wonder what patterns and things happened to them to get them to where they are." And I think everyone just needs to become aware of the patterns that they have. So you say autopilot. There's, there's a study that Harvard did that found about 48% of what we do is autopilot. Like, we don't even think about it. Just-

   18. LHLewis Howes22:59

       48%

   19. RDRob Dial22:59

       ... 48%. So half of what we do in the day is just very, "Uh, I'm just going through the actions." And so, you know, like I, I love, we, we've talked about it f- before, Dr. Joe Dispenza, where he talks about this as well, where it's like you could take yesterday

8. 23:13 – 26:21

   Changing Patterns of Thought and Behavior

   1. RDRob Dial23:13

      and place it on tomorrow, and it will be exactly the same-

   2. LHLewis Howes23:15

      Yeah

   3. RDRob Dial23:15

      ... unless you change.

   4. LHLewis Howes23:16

      Same conversations, same thoughts, same actions.

   5. RDRob Dial23:19

      Yeah. It's like 90% of your thoughts are the same as they were yesterday. And so I think the first thing that's important for people is, is the awareness. Like, it's, it's simple. There's, there's two, there's really three steps. The first thing is the awareness, like who am I? What are the thoughts going through my head? What do I like about myself? What do I wanna change about myself? You develop that awareness. The second thing that you sh- you should do is when you find the things that you wanna change and you become aware of them, is you gotta have some sort of practice, right? And you, the practice you decide now, not in the moment. And then you've gotta have a lot of repetition around it to start to change. So, like, for me, one of the things I realized in myself that came from my childhood is I was... I, I noticed this about six, seven years ago, is I'm, I was very judgmental in people, and I didn't like it. Like, I don't... I'm like, "I love people," like, "why do I immediately see somebody and in my head talk trash about them?" Like, why? It, it just popped up, and it wasn't, it was a... And I always say you can't change your first-

   6. LHLewis Howes24:07

      It's a pattern

   7. RDRob Dial24:07

      ... it's a pattern, right?

   8. LHLewis Howes24:08

      Yeah.

   9. RDRob Dial24:08

      You can't always change your first thought, but you can always change your second thought. And so I remember there was one time I was in a grocery store and this guy had that, you know, this huge Bluetooth speaker at a grocery store ordering, you know, meat. In the meat section, he had the big one that came across in his mouth. And immediately I judge the guy, and I forced myself to sit there. That was the awareness. I noticed, I noticed, that was the awareness. I notice I'm being judgmental. I, I'm aware that I don't want to be this way. My practice is I will then take three things that I like about that person and I'll say it in my head, stop what I'm doing, and I will say it. So I sat there. I hope I didn't look like a creep, but he didn't know I was there doing it.

   10. LHLewis Howes24:42

       [laughs]

   11. RDRob Dial24:43

       And I'm looking at the guy, I'm like, "He looks like he's really nice. Um, I really like the w- what he's wearing. And, uh, at the same time he's got some, uh, he's got, like, a, a really good, uh, physique. He looks like he works on himself." And I was like, that was the practice. And then I was like, "Okay, cool, now I can go about my day." So I stopped it in the moment 'cause that was a pattern that I wanna stop and I want to, to change within myself. And the practice is I was gonna do the three things, uh, that I like about him. I said it. And then the last part is the repetition. So every time I did it, I noticed myself start to do this. And I taught this to, to somebody who was in one of my groups, and she s- she was like, "Oh my God, I'm so judgmental as well. So when I notice myself judging somebody, I'm immediately going to say, 'And I love them,' and that's how I'm gonna end it."

   12. LHLewis Howes25:26

       Wow.

   13. RDRob Dial25:27

       And so then she, like six months later she comes in and she's like, "I was at a coffee shop the other day, and I noticed this woman. She was like a, you know, she was, w- taller than all the guys. She was just a big-boned woman. She was like six foot two. And my immediate thought was, 'Holy crap, that's a big woman.'" And she said, "Without even thinking, I immediately went, 'And I love her.'" And she was like, "And I noticed myself go from judgmental to the love side of it." So she could notice six months in the transition of herself. She does that for another six months, she's just gonna be able to look at people and be like, "I love this person. I love this person."

   14. LHLewis Howes25:56

       Right.

   15. RDRob Dial25:57

       And that's what we're trying to do is identify the patterns we wanna change, and then have a practice that we decide of what we're going to do when that awareness pops up.

   16. LHLewis Howes26:04

       Why do you think so many people are judgmental of others?

   17. RDRob Dial26:07

       I mean, I could tell you for myself and I could tell you from a lot of people I've worked with is I think we have a low self-worth, you know? And I think that it was, it, uh, it was easy for me to bring somebody down 'cause it made me feel better about myself, right? And it's easier in the moment to be like,

9. 26:21 – 29:49

   The Origin of My Insecurities

   1. RDRob Dial26:21

      "Oh yeah, screw this person. Oh yeah," the whatever it is that I'm jealous of or whatever it is that they have that I don't have. My low self-worth, that came from, and I could tell you where it came from, from my dad not being around 'cause I didn't feel like I got my dad's love. My dad was, was an alcoholic and so he wasn't really around. He passed away when I was 15 from being an alcoholic, and I always felt, I end up finding this out like years down the road when I started working on myself, that I felt like I came second to my dad's love.

   2. LHLewis Howes26:48

      Yeah.

   3. RDRob Dial26:48

      Or, it, it, I came second to my dad's love to alcohol, right? And so alcohol-

   4. LHLewis Howes26:52

      So he cared more about drinking than spending quality time with you.

   5. RDRob Dial26:55

      Right. When in reality as an adult, right, now that I can look at it, I was like, he had traumas that he never overcame, but I felt as a kid he loves alcohol more than he loves me, that's why he's not showing up for me. And so that's the, the, the, the thought, the subconscious thought that I had and never was aware of until my, my 20s. And so what happened was I, because I felt second to him, I felt second to everybody else around me. And so how do I make myself in the moment feel better than everybody else? Judge them, talk... Not, I wouldn't say anything bad to somebody's face, but in my head I would judge them, I would be jealous, I would want what they had, whatever it might be, 'cause I need to make myself in this moment feel better than the other person around me because I just never overcame that pattern at that point in time of feeling like I was second. So the way that I would make myself not feel second or feel better than and feel number one was I would judge everyone that was around me.

   6. LHLewis Howes27:45

      Oh. How did it make you feel when you judged others, and what does that, what do most people feel when they are in judgment of other people?

   7. RDRob Dial27:53

      I mean, we think that it's gonna make us feel better, but it makes us feel worse, right? Like, I, I never felt like, "Man, I'm so glad I judged that person," right?

   8. LHLewis Howes27:58

      Right. [laughs]

   9. RDRob Dial27:59

      Right? I, I never felt that way, and so it was like I feel like what happened with me is it was, it was like a momentary, like, hit of dopamine, "Okay, I'm better than this person." But then in reality it made me feel more disconnected from people, right? So I, I felt more disconnected, and I started pushing my feelings away for years and years and years. There was a moment where, where I c- finally came and understood, like, I've put my walls up so much that I'm letting nobody in at all, and it was ruining all of my relationships. And, um, and so I, I, I, I think what I did was I would judge other people first. I would try to cut them down in some sort of way because I was so afraid of being vulnerable and being seen because in my mind I thought with what happened with my father, like, you can't trust being close to somebody. Like, someone who loves you is gonna leave you. And so you can't let somebody in because that's just... You know, when you look at the root word of vulnerable, it's vulnerar, which means to be wounded, right? I, I didn't want to be wounded, so I would put up these walls, and there was a moment in my life where I was like, "Do I just have no feelings?" I actually thought that at one point in time.

   10. LHLewis Howes29:04

       Really?

   11. RDRob Dial29:04

       Yeah. I was like, "Do I not have feelings for people?" And I was like, no, I'm actually, what I years down the road realized, I have so much feelings that I, I, I think a lot of people feel this way. I've had people, uh, one lady specifically I remember, she's like, "I have no feelings towards anybody." And I was like, "Actually, what I think it is, is you have so many feelings you're afraid of what, what could happen if you let them out."

   12. LHLewis Howes29:25

       Wow.

   13. RDRob Dial29:25

       Like, I'm like, I'm about a half a second away from crying my entire life. Like, I feel things so much. I was... I swear to God this is a true story. I was on the way over here and I was, I was listening to Lewis Capaldi or whatever his name was, and I started thinking about, like, how amazing life is, and I started tearing up on the way over here 'cause I was like, "I can't believe I have this life. Like, this is so amazing. Like, I'm so grateful for everything that I have." So I'm, I think I'm so

10. 29:49 – 33:13

    Breaking the Pattern and Building Walls in Relationships

    1. RDRob Dial29:49

       close, and I guess from my mom, my mom's very emotional too. Like, I'm so close to, like, emotions pouring out, and as a man, like, we're taught, a boy, you know, b- big boys don't cry, especially in sports, right? So I build up walls, build up walls. Things happen with my dad, I build up walls, I build up walls, but then I get into relationships, ruined every one of my relationships-

    2. LHLewis Howes30:05

       Really?

    3. RDRob Dial30:05

       ... with women because of it. And so when I, I started working with my wife on it, like, I had to, "Okay, she's getting close. I need to be okay with her getting close," you know?

    4. LHLewis Howes30:14

       So how did you break the pattern with her versus- ... ruining all the other relationships.

    5. RDRob Dial30:19

       Yeah. Like, there was, I, [laughs] I can literally look back on all my other relationships before her and be like, "Yeah, I screwed that up. Yeah, I screwed that up," right? And I think that's the point of relationships, and the point of everything, is to screw things up so that you can try to get better. Screw it all up so you can figure it out. And so with her, luckily she's incredible, and the thing that I love most about her is, um, she just gives love, right? And she's this, this space of love. And for, we went to a friend who is inside of, uh, in Austin, about two years into our relationship, and he's a, um, a couples therapist. And he's like, "Hey, if you and your girlfriend wanna come by, just come on by." And I was like, "Cool, that sounds fun. Let's see what it's like," right? And, um, and what he ended up talking to us about is like we have two different love styles. Like, there's the love languages, which is important, but we have two different loving styles, which is hers is an anchor, which means, like, she's good. She's, she's in lo- like, she's, she's good in love, she shows love. You know, both of her parents are still together, so she, there's, there's that aspect of it.

    6. LHLewis Howes31:13

       She's secure.

    7. RDRob Dial31:14

       She's secure, right? That would be... And she's very secure. Me, on the other hand, is I was what he, he calls an island, which is, like, I'm okay with being alone.

    8. LHLewis Howes31:22

       Mm-hmm.

    9. RDRob Dial31:23

       And so the one thing that he said to me that, that was really interesting is he's like, he's like, "It's not just about how you relate to each other, like, mentally and talking to each other. You also have to be very aware of your nervous systems. And Rob's nervous system lights up whenever you come in too f- too fast." Like, with someone who's an island, you take time to warm up in someone's presence.

    10. LHLewis Howes31:44

        Mm.

    11. RDRob Dial31:44

        And so that was one thing that really helped us, is I'd be sitting working, trying to grow the business and stuff. She would come in with all this love and I'd be like, "Red flag, red flag, red flag." Like, you know, someone's attacking the, the fort.

    12. LHLewis Howes31:53

        Just loving you.

    13. RDRob Dial31:55

        Just by giving me love. That was it.

    14. LHLewis Howes31:56

        Wow.

    15. RDRob Dial31:56

        Because it was like, I don't know if this is safe, right? Because I never felt safe-

    16. LHLewis Howes31:59

        Right

    17. RDRob Dial32:00

        ... with that, right? And so what happened was we started learning, like, okay, it takes me a little bit longer to warm up. So, uh, there'd be a few minutes where she would come in, she'd talk to me and stuff, and then she'd start giving me love, and it was like, oh, now I can receive this. And so for me it was just, like, understanding, like, okay, there's her love style, there's my love style. Uh, there's definitely five love languages that go in there. And really I think it's more anything else is, like, I, um, I think that when I look at, like, what love is, like, we see love and as, as on, on TV as, like, head over heels, and it's more lust than anything else, and you fall for each other, and there's so much love. But what I think love is, is feeling safe in the presence of somebody else, where you know you have so much to work on and they have so much to work on, and I feel safe. I feel safe in my wife's presence to work on all of my childhood trauma with her, through her, and, and being able to try to rewrite that story through her. And-

    18. LHLewis Howes32:54

        Mm, that's cool

    19. RDRob Dial32:55

        ... she... Yeah, and that's, that's the way that I see it, where it's like, I love her, she's amazing. She's like the, the rock in my life. Like, she's the glue of everything. But at the same time, it's like I have never felt, in a moment, unsafe and that she doesn't want the best for me, and she wants to help me with whatever it is that I'm working through.

    20. LHLewis Howes33:09

        That's pretty sweet. That's pretty nice.

    21. RDRob Dial33:12

        But it's hard to get there.

11. 33:13 – 36:39

    Overcoming the Fear of Emotional Safety

    1. RDRob Dial33:13

       It's hard, it's hard-

    2. LHLewis Howes33:13

       [laughs]

    3. RDRob Dial33:14

       You know, it took years-

    4. LHLewis Howes33:15

       I'll-

    5. RDRob Dial33:15

       ... of opening up.

    6. LHLewis Howes33:15

       Really?

    7. RDRob Dial33:15

       We've been together for 10 years now, right? So it's like-

    8. LHLewis Howes33:17

       10 years?

    9. RDRob Dial33:18

       10 years, yeah. We celebrated 10 years last month.

    10. LHLewis Howes33:20

        When did it start to switch over for you, where you felt emotionally safe in the relationship with your wife?

    11. RDRob Dial33:26

        I mean, it was, it's slowly-

    12. LHLewis Howes33:27

        Like last month or so? [laughs]

    13. RDRob Dial33:28

        ... a process. Yeah. [laughs] I'm still working on that one.

    14. LHLewis Howes33:31

        Yeah. [laughs]

    15. RDRob Dial33:31

        Um, no, I would say probably, probably six years, man.

    16. LHLewis Howes33:36

        That's a-

    17. RDRob Dial33:37

        Like, it took, it took time. And, and the, the thing that, that I'm grateful for is that she saw me working on it and me trying to get better and me opening up, that she, uh, didn't leave because, like, she wasn't getting what she wanted or something like that.

    18. LHLewis Howes33:51

        Right, right.

    19. RDRob Dial33:51

        And so I think that, that it was me opening up, and it's, you know, it's a relationship. We both have things that we need to work on. So, you know, there's definitely times where she's working on things that I'm, like, the, the one that's solid for her. And so I think that for me it probably took, like, six years. It took, it took until we went, we went and traveled, um, about three years into our relationship, we went and traveled for six months overseas, and we were completely out of the country for six months. And I didn't realize it, but that was like a make or break moment in our relationship, where she was like, "I don't know if this is gonna work."

    20. LHLewis Howes34:20

        Really?

    21. RDRob Dial34:20

        Yeah. And then, and then after she was like, "This is definitely working."

    22. LHLewis Howes34:23

        Wow.

    23. RDRob Dial34:23

        She was like, because there was no fights, there was nothing-

    24. LHLewis Howes34:25

        That's nice

    25. RDRob Dial34:25

        ... and, and it worked. And so she's like, "Okay, I think that..." A- after we came back from that is where we really were a whole lot tighter. And so probably about three years in there, and then six years where I was like, "I'm gonna keep opening myself up." And, you know, I, I'm sure I'll look back in 10 years to this conversation and be like, "Oh yeah, there was still a lot that I wasn't open up to," you know? So it's like, I feel like I'm the most open, but I'm sure that over years, um, I'm gonna keep finding more aspects of myself that I need to work on.

    26. LHLewis Howes34:49

        You haven't arrived yet?

    27. RDRob Dial34:50

        No.

    28. LHLewis Howes34:50

        [laughs]

    29. RDRob Dial34:51

        That's, that's an important, th- and that's the important thing, man. Like, I think that everyone listening to this podcast needs to, to realize, like, I, for years of self-development, you know, I've been working on myself now for 19 years, is when I first got into self-development, was 19. I'm about to turn 38. Um, 19 years, and for, I would say, the first 17 years I was, like, working towards a destination of, like, getting there, whatever getting there was. And now I've come to the realization of I'm, I hope I live to 100 years old, and if I live to 100, I'm still going to be working on myself.

    30. LHLewis Howes35:23

        Wow.
12. 36:39 – 39:56

    The Feeling of Not Being Enough and the Search for Fulfillment

    1. RDRob Dial36:39

       my family because you feel like you're not enough to be able to get there. I feel like I'm gonna fail because you feel like you're not enough to succeed. And so, um, then the next question that pops up with people is, well, why does everybody feel like they're not enough? And so this is... When I say, like, I spend a lot of time in silence, this one thing it took my wife a long time to get used to is, is my silence. Like, I'll just go outside and I'll sit for two hours. She was like, "What did I do wrong?" Like, that's the reason what she thought.

    2. LHLewis Howes37:01

       [laughs]

    3. RDRob Dial37:01

       Like, that was her thing she was working on. But I'll sit there and I'll just think, and, um, and I'll think for a long time. And the thing that drove me the craziest was like, why do we all feel like we're not enough in some sorta way? And, um, I have a couple theories and, and ways that I think that it pops up. The first thing is that, you know, if you look at a child, um, if a child, you know, is six months old and you have your, your drink next to them when you're changing them, and they kick it off, and they, they ex- spill coffee all over the, the ground, you're not gonna yell at a six months old, right? If they're one year old, they're learning how to walk, and they knock your coffee off onto the ground, and they spill it onto the floor, you're not gonna yell at them at one years old. But at some point-

    4. LHLewis Howes37:38

       Mm

    5. RDRob Dial37:38

       ... a parent treats a child as if they're an adult, and they think they should know it by now. And this is not me judging parents in any sort of way. That's the hardest job in the world. But at some point, we all have a break where the parent goes, "What are you doing?" It could be three years old, it could be four years old, and the, the child immediately thinks, "There's something wrong with me," because they feel a retraction of their, their, their parents' love, which is the, the most safety that they can feel. And then there's a break off, and the average child is reprimanded eight times more than they're praised. And because a lot of times, a lot of times, parents are trying to keep their children alive, you know, like, kids will wanna jump off of-

    6. LHLewis Howes38:12

       Yeah, yeah

    7. RDRob Dial38:12

       ... big walls. And so what we do is we, we parent the same way that our parents did, which is usually yelling at the child. And so the average child is reprimanded eight times more than they're praised.

    8. LHLewis Howes38:22

       Fear. Yeah, fear.

    9. RDRob Dial38:23

       Which, which goes to I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, eight times more.

    10. LHLewis Howes38:27

        I'm not doing it right.

    11. RDRob Dial38:28

        I'm not doing it right. I don't know what I'm doing. And, um, and a lot of times we have this, this built into our system after a while of, like, looking over our shoulder and being like, "Mom, am I doing this right? Am I, am I doing this right? Am I doing this right?" And we develop this, I don't know what I'm doing on my own. I can't do this. I'm not smart enough. I need somebody else to tell me what to do.

    12. LHLewis Howes38:45

        Need someone else's approval.

    13. RDRob Dial38:47

        Right. All of that. And so in, in turn, what happens is we start to develop this, like, I'm not enough, and it's all just different flavors of I'm not enough. And so what happens is, and I can speak for myself, is what made me think that I would finally be enough is achievement, right?

    14. LHLewis Howes39:02

        Success.

    15. RDRob Dial39:03

        And success. Once I make a certain amount of money, once I have a certain amount of followers, once I get to this level of success, then I'll finally be enough. And then I got there and I realized, yeah, you're still that hurt little boy inside, right? You're still that... That there's nothing that's different about you. And, uh, you know, we spoke about this last time on the podcast where you were talk- We, we kind of spoke about it, and you said there was a guy that was in your, your building that, that just jumped off the building, right? Super successful. And so we think, like-

    16. LHLewis Howes39:28

        Yep

    17. RDRob Dial39:28

        ... so many of us think that success and money are gonna get us a point of fulfillment. You'll never get there.

    18. LHLewis Howes39:33

        Yeah.

    19. RDRob Dial39:33

        And nothing external will ever fulfill you. So, like, my, my path has been external, external, external. My path from now on, like, what I'm working on, and it's, it's a daily process, is can I feel like I love myself and I'm fulfilled without having to do anything? And that's a process, and that's really hard to get to, and I, I meditate on it, I journal

13. 39:56 – 43:16

    Reflection on Accomplishments and Self-Acceptance

    1. RDRob Dial39:56

       on it, and I, I sit in silence, and I just think about, like, think about how far you've come, think about all that you've done. And even though you've done all of these things and you have stuff to show the world, um, you still feel like you're not enough. Why is that? And so I, I've been working on that and just being like, "You know what? There's nothing that you need to do today. I can if I want to, but there's nothing you need to do today, nothing that you could accomplish today that can make you more of who you already are."

    2. LHLewis Howes40:21

       Mm.

    3. RDRob Dial40:22

       "And as you are, you deserve love. And so instead of going and seeking for that love, why don't you just actually try to do it right now in this, in the moment that you're sitting with yourself?" And so, like, there could be three energies, but I think they're all just different moldings of that one energy of I'm not enough. And so I think that if most people can realize... Like, there's a, a meditation I used to do from a guy named Mooji, and he used to always say, he said, "You have, you have no pockets. You have no storehouse," which basically means, like, no matter what you do, until the day you die, you cannot be more or less of what you currently are. And so why don't you just decide to give yourself love and acceptance in this moment without having to achieve anything, and then go out into the world and achieve from the feeling of already feeling like you're whole versus you feel like there's a void inside of you.

    4. LHLewis Howes41:08

       Mm. What happens when we achieve something when we feel like we're not enough?

    5. RDRob Dial41:13

       I mean, it's, it's usually not that great. Like, I don't know about you, like, I had this moment, um, two weeks ago, I think it was, with my, uh, my VP of operations, and she was like, she, she was like, uh, she's like, "You ever sit back and, like, think about what you've done?" And I'm like, "No." [laughs]

    6. LHLewis Howes41:32

       [laughs]

    7. RDRob Dial41:33

       You're already laughing 'cause you're like-

    8. LHLewis Howes41:33

       Very

    9. RDRob Dial41:33

       ... "Yeah, I don't even do this enough either," right?

    10. LHLewis Howes41:35

        Yeah.

    11. RDRob Dial41:35

        And she's like, she's like, "You ever, like, think about, like..." Like, we were talking about coming out here to LA and, like, how I'm on your podcast and all these amazing podcasts. Like, things that I've wanted to do for years are, like, all come... She's like, "You wrote a book last year. Like, very few people write books." And she's like, "Have you celebrated any of that?" And I was like, "No." And she's like, "Why?" And I was like, "I mean, all of my friends have podcasts. All of them have books." So it just seemed like... Which is kind of a good thing because it's like the five, the people that you spend the most time with, like-

    12. LHLewis Howes42:03

        Mm

    13. RDRob Dial42:03

        ... you know, I'm spending time with you. You've written three books, and I can be like, "Oh my God, I'm not good enough," 'cause-

    14. LHLewis Howes42:07

        Right, right, right

    15. RDRob Dial42:08

        ... I've written three. Right? But it's like even with all of the, all of the achievement and success, there's like, as soon as you get there, there's the next thing. Before my book even came out and it was, like, about to launch, I already had the idea for the next one. I was like, "This is so stupid."

    16. LHLewis Howes42:22

        Right, right.

    17. RDRob Dial42:23

        Like, why don't you just sit there for a second and be like, "Yeah, you wrote a book. This is amazing." You never thought you would write a book. It was never a goal of yours. You know? And you... And then... And so that's why I started kind of like tearing up this mor- morning as I was driving listening to Lewis Gabaldi and, uh, uh, ca- whatever he just plays last night, I don't even know what it is. But I was sitting there, I was driving and I was like, I was like, "Man, there was a time when you were sitting in your friend's house that you were renting a room from him, and you were like, 'I'm gonna start this podcast thing.'" And at first it was me and my friend together, and then he ended up, before he launched it, he's like, "Yeah, I don't wanna be a part of it." I was like, "Okay, I guess I'll do this alone." But they were terrible, and they were horrible, and I would n- never... I, I can look back at that and be like, "Man, you've come so far. You've done so much." But a lot of times we're, like, looking out of the, the, the front windshield saying, "What's next? What's next? What's next? What's next?" Versus, like, take a moment every single day to look in the rear view mirror and go, "You know what? I've done

14. 43:16 – 47:09

    The Transformation of the Soul

    1. RDRob Dial43:16

       a lot and I'm proud of myself for what I've done."

    2. LHLewis Howes43:18

       Yeah. I have a photo, I'm gonna pull it up real quick, that my sister sent me recently. And it's of my- it's of myself when I was probably, like, five or six, right?

    3. RDRob Dial43:31

       Oh my God.

    4. LHLewis Howes43:32

       So it's, like, uh, there's a little car-

    5. RDRob Dial43:34

       Mm-hmm

    6. LHLewis Howes43:34

       ... you know, I'm playing with.

    7. RDRob Dial43:35

       Yeah.

    8. LHLewis Howes43:35

       My sister sent a video of me, like, playing with this little toy car. Uh, my grandmother is filming it.

    9. RDRob Dial43:42

       Yeah.

    10. LHLewis Howes43:42

        And it's... You know, I was watching this video and then she sent me a screenshot of me, like, smiling at the camera as this little kid. And I showed this to my fiance, Martha. You probably won't be able to see it in the camera here, but I showed this to my fa- fiance, Martha, the other day, and she goes, "Wow, I would've really liked this kid."

    11. RDRob Dial44:00

        Mm.

    12. LHLewis Howes44:00

        "Like, this little boy, I would've f- you would've been, like, a good friend of mine."

    13. RDRob Dial44:03

        Yeah.

    14. LHLewis Howes44:03

        I was like, "Really? I just def- felt like I was worthless."

    15. RDRob Dial44:06

        Yeah.

    16. LHLewis Howes44:06

        "You know, I just felt like I was the youngest, I was stupid, everyone was better than me, and I just didn't feel like I was enough." She was like, "Nah, you had blonde hair. I was, I would've been attracted to you." Right? [laughs]

    17. RDRob Dial44:14

        [laughs]

    18. LHLewis Howes44:15

        And I was like, "Okay." But she goes, "You know, the interesting thing is, like, isn't it crazy that your soul was in this little body?"

    19. RDRob Dial44:22

        Mm.

    20. LHLewis Howes44:22

        "And you've transformed and changed over the last, you know, 35 years now."

    21. RDRob Dial44:26

        Mm-hmm.

    22. LHLewis Howes44:27

        "And this is a past life." She goes, "Past lives doesn't have to be, you know, before you were born and thinking about, like, past lives, but 35 years ago was a past life. Your cells were different. The way you thought was different. You know, your, your environment was different. Your habits were different."

    23. RDRob Dial44:45

        Mm-hmm.

    24. LHLewis Howes44:45

        "It was a past life."

    25. RDRob Dial44:46

        Yeah.

    26. LHLewis Howes44:47

        "And your soul has stayed inside of this body that has transformed and, and ascended from what it was 35 years ago-"

    27. RDRob Dial44:55

        Mm-hmm

    28. LHLewis Howes44:55

        ... five years ago, two years ago, you know, three months ago.

    29. RDRob Dial44:57

        Mm-hmm.

    30. LHLewis Howes44:58

        We're constantly changing and evolving, whether we like it or not, but we have to ask ourselves, do we wanna change our thoughts and our habits-
15. 47:09 – 50:31

    Future Pacing and the CEO of Your Life

    1. LHLewis Howes47:09

       what future pacing is.

    2. RDRob Dial47:10

       Yeah.

    3. LHLewis Howes47:11

       How we can apply this today to start manifesting what we want in a faster and better way.

    4. RDRob Dial47:16

       Yeah. I started almost... I was, like, getting a little bit teary-eyed when you were talking about your walks with Martha, 'cause my wife does the same thing.

    5. LHLewis Howes47:22

       I know.

    6. RDRob Dial47:22

       And she, uh, she, like, keeps me grateful, right? Like, it's, it's, it's good to, to have that, where she, she's like, she'll start tearing up too, and I'm like, "What is it?" 'Cause she's like, "I saw you-"

    7. LHLewis Howes47:30

       It's random moments

    8. RDRob Dial47:31

       ... "What am I..." And then my i- me- my wounds go, "What am I doing wrong," right? [laughs]

    9. LHLewis Howes47:34

       [laughs]

    10. RDRob Dial47:35

        I'm like, "What did I do?" And she's like... And, and so it's like the same thing.

    11. LHLewis Howes47:37

        She's like, "Life is just so good."

    12. RDRob Dial47:39

        It's so amazing.

    13. LHLewis Howes47:39

        It's amazing.

    14. RDRob Dial47:40

        Is it... Do you ever think about how beautiful psychology is?

    15. LHLewis Howes47:41

        I know.

    16. RDRob Dial47:41

        And I'm like, "Oh my God, yeah, thank you for reminding me this." And so, um, so yes, I definitely agree with you. Um, the thing that, that is... The reason why I actually changed the name of the book from The Psychology of Taking Action to Level Up is because of kind of what you're talking about, which is my view of the world is I feel like the world is a video game. And it happens to work for me because I'm, I'm real competitive, so I'm like, "Let me see how I can get to the next level."

    17. LHLewis Howes48:05

        Uh-huh.

    18. RDRob Dial48:06

        When you look at, like, future pacing, I'll kind of explain it and I'll explain it in the, in the view of the video game itself. So I always look at life as if I'm in a certain level. You know, like I'm at level, I'm at level 37. Next month, I'm gonna be at level 38 of this game, right? And at level 37, there's been many challenges that have come to me. And I used to be the same way where I was definitely a victim and I would make excuses. And I had a conversation with my, uh... When I was 19, I hired a one-on-one coach, and we met every single week, and he was trying to help me get better at sales and get better at, you know, taking action like I was supposed to. And I was always late for calls, I was always making excuses why I didn't take the actions. And then he, he had a legitimate conversation with me and he goes, he goes, "Hey, if a business fails, whose fault is it?" And I was like, "The CEO's." He said, "If a business succeeds and somebody's able to get all 1,000 employees to go towards one mission, they succeed. Whose fault is that?" And I was like, "That's the CEO's fault." He said, "Now, if you get to the end of your life and you are just regretting it and you don't like what it's become and you feel like you wish you would've done more and you wish that you would've had more potential that you would've brought out to light, whose fault would that have been?" And I was like, "That'd be my fault." And he goes, "But if you get to the end of your life and it's everything that you wanted it to be, and you saw every single challenge as something that was built for you to improve, and you improve with every single challenge, you get to the end of your life and you look back and you're like, 'Man, I'm so glad everything I did,' whose fault would that be?" And I was like, "That would be mine." He said, "The problem is, Rob, you're acting like a victim and you're making all of these excuses. Your life will not change until you decide to be the CEO of your life and blame everything on yourself-"

    19. LHLewis Howes49:40

        Mm

    20. RDRob Dial49:41

        ... good or bad.

    21. LHLewis Howes49:42

        Mm-hmm.

    22. RDRob Dial49:42

        We talked for two years. That's the only conversation I remember. All of them were good. That was the most probably life-changing moment that I've ever had in my entire life, 'cause I was like, "I get it. It's all my fault." And so with every challenge, it went from the challenge that would come to me and then I'd make excuses to why I was folding. "Oh, yeah, it's because of this." And then it became, "Oh, this challenge is coming to me. It's my fault. I need to be the one that ends up, you know, doing something with this." And so the way that you look at that, of, of, of the whole course of life, is I remember, and the way I came up with future pacing is I was planning... This is in 2000 and, 2019 before stuff got real crazy, right? I was gonna do a big event in 2020, right?

    23. LHLewis Howes50:22

        Ah.

    24. RDRob Dial50:22

        That didn't happen. But I, I didn't know at the moment, and so I felt all of these fears. "Oh, my God, I'm the only person on my team. I don't have a team. I'm not good with logistics.

16. 50:31 – 53:52

    Overcoming Fear and Visualizing Success

    1. RDRob Dial50:31

       I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I gotta get people to fly in. I gotta find a hotel." And, and all of the, the reasons why not, which usually happens with us, came into my head. And I said, "Okay, let me... This is, I don't feel good. Let me flip this." And I was at a coffee shop in Austin. Lazarus is what it's called. I remember exactly where I was doing it, and I said, "Okay, the moment... I, I'm gonna write from the moment where everyone's leaving the event. I had 300 people show up to event in Austin, Texas. This is how I did it." And I started writing from the future version of me that just accomplished that thing. And I started writing it as if it was just a journal entry. And I started writing it and I, I was just, like, letting it flow out of me. And then what had happened was, it was really interesting. I got done. It was like two pages. I went, "Oh, my God, this is the entire plan."

    2. LHLewis Howes51:15

       Mm.

    3. RDRob Dial51:15

       Like, it was literally the entire plan that was hard for me to access because I was in so much fear. When I put myself into the future version of myself, it was like all of the doubts was gone from me.

    4. LHLewis Howes51:23

       And said, "How did I do this?"

    5. RDRob Dial51:25

       Right.

    6. LHLewis Howes51:25

       Right?

    7. RDRob Dial51:25

       Which we ended up doing the event just a couple years later, so it ended up working, which is, which is what's awesome. It did- Once again, time didn't work out the way I wanted it to. That's not the way, way the universe works. But it did eventually happen. Um, and so what happens is a lot of times when we decide that we wanna change, the immediate feelings of fear pop up because our ego wants to keep us in the exact same place because that's safe. Change is a threat to the brain, so it's all unknown. We don't know what's gonna happen if we get outside of our comfort zone. But if we can take ourself and put ourself into a future level or into a future where we accomplish this thing and say, "I just..." You know, someone's goal is to make $100,000 a year. "I just made $100,000 in 2024. This is exactly how I did it," and just let it-

    8. LHLewis Howes52:04

       Mm-hmm

    9. RDRob Dial52:04

       ... flow out of them. One thing that I've, I've told this to people many times, it's really interesting, the, the feedback I get. Some people say that the exact words of, "I s- I was still writing, but I didn't feel like I was writing it anymore. It was just kind of flowing out of me-"

    10. LHLewis Howes52:17

        Mm

    11. RDRob Dial52:17

        ... "as if I wasn't the one doing it. It was just God or the universe just flowing out of me and saying, 'This is what it is.'" And then a lot of times people look at it and they go, "Oh, my God, this is the exact plan of how to do it." And then when you look at that, it gets so exciting to look at that plan where you're like, "All right, yeah, I kinda wanna take some action now."

    12. LHLewis Howes52:33

        Yeah.

    13. RDRob Dial52:33

        Because now I'm not thinking about the failure of it. I'm thinking about the success of it, and I'm thinking about what that would be like. So it's just the, the flipping of looking at the future in fear versus looking at the future in excitement, which is, is really interesting. One thing I, I, I talk about a lot, and I don't know if people, like, truly get it in their bones, is that we are so incredible as humans. Our brains are so incredible that you and I right now can sit in this moment in your basement and think about a future. And no matter what that future is, our brain can actually make our body feel the feelings if it's happening right now.

    14. LHLewis Howes53:09

        Mm-hmm.

    15. RDRob Dial53:09

        The problem is we sit here and we go, "I'm gonna start this business." And then our brain immediately flips to, "Well, the business could fail. These are all the reasons why it could fail." And we feel the feelings right now in this present moment where there's no problems of a business failing.

    16. LHLewis Howes53:22

        Mm.

    17. RDRob Dial53:23

        It makes it really hard to take action when you feel the feelings of failure and fear and anxiety inside of you, being broke, all of that. And so it's, it's a lot harder. But we could also sit in this moment and we can, this is the, what the power of visualization is, and visualize what it could be, what we want it to be, what it's gonna feel like when we do end up hitting that goal, and we can feel those feelings. And so instead of having to, like, white-knuckle our way to our goals, which I did for years, and push and push and push and bash my head into walls and just go anyways, instead of having to push,

17. 53:52 – 57:24

    Accepting Every Aspect of Myself

    1. RDRob Dial53:52

       I can actually feel pulled towards my goal-

    2. LHLewis Howes53:54

       Yeah, yeah

    3. RDRob Dial53:54

       ... because I'm being excited by what's about to come down, um, what's about to come for me, because I'm feeling the feelings of the success versus feeling the feelings of the failure.

    4. LHLewis Howes54:02

       Mm. Interesting.

    5. RDRob Dial54:04

       Yeah.

    6. LHLewis Howes54:05

       What do you think is every- what do you think is everyone watching or listening right now, what do you think is the number one thing they need to hear-

    7. RDRob Dial54:12

       Yeah

    8. LHLewis Howes54:12

       ... in their lives?

    9. RDRob Dial54:15

       Yeah. Uh, something that I've been working really hard on that's, that's not the easiest. Um, you just need to learn to accept reality. And, um, I find that most of the time what we're doing is we're just, we're just, like I just said a second ago, we're kind of like white-knuckling our way through life. And, um, and one of the things I've been really working hard on recently is accepting every aspect of myself.

    10. LHLewis Howes54:39

        Mm.

    11. RDRob Dial54:39

        So for years there was, like, parts of myself I wanted to change, right? And now it's me looking at those parts and saying, "I love this part of me as much as I love the other parts of me."

    12. LHLewis Howes54:51

        Could you still wanna change those parts of you?

    13. RDRob Dial54:53

        F- sure. Well, the thing is when you, when you actually accept them, they start changing.

    14. LHLewis Howes54:57

        Mm.

    15. RDRob Dial54:58

        We think, like, "Okay, what's the next step? What's the next thing that I have to do?" And so what's really interesting is, like, let's say for instance that I, um, I'm very selfish, right? And I'm like, okay, so I've d- I've understood this conflict inside of me of selfishness, right? And I wanna change this aspect, this selfishness. So inside of me there's a conflict, which is selfishness. When I want to change an aspect of me, I create another conflict. So now I'm fighting two demons at one time, which is the selfishness and the aspect that I wanna change the selfishness inside of me.

    16. LHLewis Howes55:28

        Mm-hmm.

    17. RDRob Dial55:29

        But if I look at myself and I say, like Alan Watts says this, it, the, like, he always says, like, "You're, all of us are just rascals." Like, there's parts of you that is a rascal. Like, there's a part of me that is, that is, uh, that is amazing. There's a part of me that's loving. There's a part of me that's sweet. There's a part of me that wants to give, uh, love to every person that I meet. There's also a part of me that is selfish. There's a part of me that's judgmental, and there's a part of me that could be, you know, an, an [censored] sometimes. Like, there's, there's parts of me that I-

    18. LHLewis Howes55:55

        Mm-hmm

    19. RDRob Dial55:55

        ... don't necessarily enjoy as much, and I want to change them. When I want to change them, it creates another conflict, which is now I'm fighting, I'm fighting aspects of myself versus saying, "You know what? Yeah, there's parts of Rob that are selfish." And I can see from his childhood why those parts of him exist.

    20. LHLewis Howes56:12

        Mm-hmm.

    21. RDRob Dial56:12

        And I know what that kid was going through, where he said, "There's no one else that's gonna be taking care of me. I'm alone at this. I need to develop this selfishness." And I can go, "You know what? I can still love that part of me." And when, what's interesting is when you stop resisting it and you start accepting it, it just kind of fades away a little bit more.

    22. LHLewis Howes56:30

        Mm-hmm.

    23. RDRob Dial56:30

        And it's not about getting rid of it. It's about if it's at a seven out of 10, it starts getting to a four out of 10, a five out of 10. And so if I can just accept myself fully and I can go, "Yeah, there's parts of me [laughs] that are, that are beautiful, and there's parts of me that are not beautiful," this, uh, the, the outward world is just a reflection of all of us in the internal. There's parts of this world that are beautiful. There's parts of us that are not beautiful. And so I can look at the world and be like, "I, I wanna change this aspect of the world." I always go, "Does that aspect of me live inside of me?" And I'm like, "It does. Okay, so how can I love that part of me?" And so the biggest tip I can give people that I am and consciously trying to work on as much, this is what I'm spending majority of my time in silence is, is when I identify parts of myself that I wanna, quote-unquote, change, instead of trying to change, can I just accept? And what's really interesting is when-

    24. LHLewis Howes57:17

        Mm

    25. RDRob Dial57:17

        ... when you accept, it makes it way easier to love yourself, which when I said, like, we're all, our biggest fear is I'm not

18. 57:24 – 1:01:10

    Cultivating Self-Love and Acceptance

    1. RDRob Dial57:24

       good enough, and if I'm not good enough, I won't be loved. Whatever we're searching for from the external, we're actually searching for from ourself.

    2. LHLewis Howes57:30

       Mm.

    3. RDRob Dial57:30

       And so what's keeping me from loving myself is wanting to change myself.

    4. LHLewis Howes57:34

       Wow. Yeah.

    5. RDRob Dial57:35

       And so if I can go, "I don't wanna change myself, I wanna love myself more," it's, there's so much less resistance to the world and everything just seems a lot easier.

    6. LHLewis Howes57:44

       That's big. So stop trying to change yourself. Start s- start accepting yourself, and then you'll start to change.

    7. RDRob Dial57:50

       Right. And you'll start to love yourself.

    8. LHLewis Howes57:51

       Yes.

    9. RDRob Dial57:51

       So it's not... A lot of people are like-

    10. LHLewis Howes57:52

        Yes

    11. RDRob Dial57:52

        ... "I wanna get better at self-love."

    12. LHLewis Howes57:54

        So I can lo- well, I wanna get changed so I can love myself.

    13. RDRob Dial57:57

        Right. Exactly. But in, in-

    14. LHLewis Howes57:58

        As opposed to-

    15. RDRob Dial57:59

        I-

    16. LHLewis Howes57:59

        ... accepting and loving yourself-

    17. RDRob Dial58:00

        Love-

    18. LHLewis Howes58:01

        ... and knowing you still have work to do.

    19. RDRob Dial58:02

        Love, I believe, is if you look at a child, love is a natural state of a human, which has accidentally been programmed out of us, I think, through a lot of parents and society and all that stuff. And so a lot of people are like, "I wanna work on self-love. How do I love myself more?" The, the key to it is not trying to change yourself to love yourself. The key to it is, to, to self-love is self-acceptance.

    20. LHLewis Howes58:24

        Mm-hmm.

    21. RDRob Dial58:24

        If I lo- if I accept all aspects of myself and I stop resisting, the natural state that I flow back to is just a state of self-love.

    22. LHLewis Howes58:32

        Mm-hmm.

    23. RDRob Dial58:33

        And it's love for myself, but it's also love for everyone else around me.

    24. LHLewis Howes58:36

        We're talking about patterns here. Um, and your whole show, Mindset Mentor, really gets people in, in a, a framework around how to think differently to support themselves for success and more peace and abundance. Uh, we talked about money briefly the last time you were on.

    25. RDRob Dial58:53

        Yeah.

    26. LHLewis Howes58:53

        And I'm curious.

    27. RDRob Dial58:54

        That video went crazy viral too.

    28. LHLewis Howes58:56

        It went crazy.

    29. RDRob Dial58:56

        Did you see that thing?

    30. LHLewis Howes58:56

        Yeah.
19. 1:01:10 – 1:04:27

    The Fallacy of Scarcity Mindset

    1. RDRob Dial1:01:10

       he's stealing money from me."

    2. LHLewis Howes1:01:11

       Mm.

    3. RDRob Dial1:01:11

       Is the way a lot of people feel. Like, he, uh, if he succeeds, then that means I'm not succeeding.

    4. LHLewis Howes1:01:15

       Mm-hmm.

    5. RDRob Dial1:01:15

       That's what a lot of people think. Oh, this person just, just became successful, that means that there's less in the world for me. But in reality, it, it's not that way at all. There's so much abundance everywhere around you. So if you're looking through the viewpoint of scarcity, and this is just a simple challenge for people. If you've, if you notice, yeah, I have a scarcity mindset. I've been looking through, okay, I don't like when this person succeeds 'cause I feel like they're taking away from me. I don't like when that person, um, when, when my, uh, my sister succeeds because then my, my parents are gonna love her more than love me 'cause there's a scarcity-

    6. LHLewis Howes1:01:45

       Mm

    7. RDRob Dial1:01:45

       ... of love. There's a scarcity of everything around. When you realize that, like, there is no scarcity anywhere around you, the only place that scarcity exists is in your mind-

    8. LHLewis Howes1:01:53

       Wow

    9. RDRob Dial1:01:54

       ... then you can start to say, "Okay, well, let me actually look and try to find abundance around me." Like, if my, going back to the example, if my mom loves my sister a lot, does that mean that she has less love for me? Like, I've never met somebody who has a bunch of kids and they go, "Well, I ran out of love for my children," right? It's, there's no, there's no scarcity around it. But we think, "Oh, yeah, it's a competition between me and my sister." And we think when someone else succeeds, like, "Oh, they just made a million do- they signed a million-dollar contract, that means there's a million dollars less for me." Right? Money's constantly being used and circulated. And so when you look at it, you realize that n- nobody just, very few people take money and just put it into their bank account. That eventually gets spent somewhere or goes somewhere else. So it's constantly circulating all the time. And so just because somebody else succeeds doesn't mean that you can't. There is enough room for every single person in this world to succeed in whatever it is that they wanna succeed at. And so what I would say is, and, uh, I think I've been saying a lot of peop- with a lot of people is, is test the validity of your thoughts. And this is, uh, what they say in cognitive behavioral therapy. Test the validity of it. So if I have a thought of, of there's not enough to go around, okay, let's just test the validity of it. And the way that you do that, people always ask, the, the, the example I give is imagine that you're on the debate team in high school, right? And your whole life you've been on the viewpoint of there's not enough money to go around. Now, what I want you to do, just for fun, just go ahead and try to debate the other side and say there's more money than to go around for every single person.

    10. LHLewis Howes1:03:20

        Right.

    11. RDRob Dial1:03:20

        And just debate it for a minute and see if you can find any proof that the other side might be true. Because what happens is our beliefs are just a set of patterns and thoughts that we've done over and over and over and over and over again, and because we've had it happen so many times, we believe that that's actually true. And true means, like, written into the fabric of the universe, right? Is it true that there is not enough to go around? Okay, well, let's test it. Let's say, is there a possibility that there's enough money to go around for every single person? Is there isn't enough love to go around for every single person? Is there enough happiness to go around for every single person? Is there a possibility that there's enough for every single person? And if there is, your belief is complete BS and there's never been true in the first place, which is like we, our beliefs are like a house of cards. You just need, like, one good flick and it all crumbles.

    12. LHLewis Howes1:04:07

        [laughs]

    13. RDRob Dial1:04:07

        And once it crumbles and you see the other side of it, you go, "All right, let me start opening myself up a little bit more to it." And so, um, you know, like, I give, like, tips and tricks and tactics around it, but I think, uh, people just need to understand is that the most important thing is just what is your perception of life, and is it possible to just look through another, another viewpoint to see

20. 1:04:27 – 1:07:50

    Healing the Relationship with Money

    1. RDRob Dial1:04:27

       what it could be?

    2. LHLewis Howes1:04:27

       What would you say is the number one thing you did to heal your relationship with money and start bringing in more financial abundance?

    3. RDRob Dial1:04:35

       Gratitude. Being grateful for it. And this is, and I'll, I'll say it again, I think this is, this is what I said on the last podcast, but I think that's, I, for the longest time, had this, this viewpoint of there's not enough money to go around. And I didn't know I had it, but it was just, like, scarcity around money because money was scarce when I was a kid, right?

    4. LHLewis Howes1:04:52

       Mm-hmm.

    5. RDRob Dial1:04:52

       I remember hearing things like my mom saying, "We don't have enough money," right? "I can't buy you that 'cause we don't have enough money." I had a lot of, I had a lot of shame around money too. Like, I remember the most, I remember the first moment I had shame around money was I wanted... Remember Gak when we were kids? That Gak? It was like that, it came in, like, an egg, and it was, like, kind of like a Play-Doh thing.

    6. LHLewis Howes1:05:10

       Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

    7. RDRob Dial1:05:11

       I wanted Gak.

    8. LHLewis Howes1:05:12

       Mm-hmm.

    9. RDRob Dial1:05:12

       And my mom was like, "We don't have enough money for it." I was, like, three or four years old. I remember throwing a fit, right, on the couch to the point where she's like, "All right, fine, let's go." And we went to Target to go get it. And I remember feeling so much shame at, like, four years old because we didn't have money, and my fit made my mom go buy me-

    10. LHLewis Howes1:05:31

        Oh, man

    11. RDRob Dial1:05:31

        ... something that we didn't have.

    12. LHLewis Howes1:05:32

        Yeah.

    13. RDRob Dial1:05:32

        Like, go, go, w- go buy it with the money that we didn't have. So I felt shame. I was like, shame's first was that feeling around money, and scarcity around money because we don't have enough. There's not enough to buy these things, right? And so, so for me, what happened was with the, the scarcity mindset around money was then every single time money would come in, because my energy around money was scarcity, it was never enough. It was, okay, you know, I'd make whatever, $2,000, and I'd be like, "Mm, like I wanna make... Why am I not a millionaire yet? Why don't I have $100,000? You know what? I only got 2,000, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna be able to pay my bills. I don't have anything extra." And so it was immediately, because the energy of it was scarcity, when it would come in, it was scarcity. When I would spend it, it was scarcity. I would be afraid to check my bank account 'cause there was times when I checked my bank account and it was not enough. There was negative money in my bank account many, many times, right? I went back in my, like, old email account a couple years ago to, like, 2011, and I think in the, the last three months of the year 2011, I had seven overdraft fees, right? So I know what it's like to not have... to not even have zero dollars, but to have less than zero dollars in my account, right? So the energy around money was scarcity. And then what happened was, I remember hearing a podcast one time where somebody was saying, "Your problem with, with money is that you think too scarce. Whenever you walk past a penny on the ground, do you pick it up?" I was like, "No, I don't." Most people don't, 'cause it's just a penny. But if you pick it up and think, "Oh, my, this is, this is the universe trusting me with this penny, thank you so much for this," and I put it in my pocket, if I can be trusted with a little, well, then maybe I can start to be trusted with a lot more.

    14. LHLewis Howes1:07:08

        Interesting.

    15. RDRob Dial1:07:09

        And so then, you know, with having an online business, payments come in at random times, and so I would se- I set my notifications on that every time a payment would come through, I would stop everything that I'm doing. Once again, awareness, practice, repetition. Uh, the awareness was I have scarcity around money. I wanna change this. The practice is I'm gonna feel grateful every time this money comes in. So I would close my eyes and I would say, "God..." I'd see the person's name too. So I'd say, like, "Joseph, thank you so much for trusting me in your transformation. God, please give me whatever guidance I need to help this person get to wherever they want-

    16. LHLewis Howes1:07:40

        Mm

    17. RDRob Dial1:07:40

        ... to be in their life."

    18. LHLewis Howes1:07:41

        That's good.

    19. RDRob Dial1:07:42

        And then I would go back into what I was doing for the day over and over and over again. So the awareness was I had the scarcity. I wanted to change it to abundance. I wanted to change it to gratitude.

21. 1:07:50 – 1:11:02

    Cultivating Gratitude and Abundance

    1. RDRob Dial1:07:50

       So the practice was every time a payment would come in, I would force myself to stop anything that I was doing, close my eyes, and I would have, cultivate the feeling of gratitude, and in the repetition, I would do it over and over and over and over again. And over years and thousands of payments, it just became a thing now where it's like I have, I have this feeling of, of so much gratitude towards it. And what I have found is that if you can be trusted with a little, you can be trusted with a lot. And that also comes with, like, sharing it. And I was, you know, very cheap and I don't wanna give anybody anything. And I was, I was notorious for being the cheapest person out of all of my friends-

    2. LHLewis Howes1:08:22

       Really?

    3. RDRob Dial1:08:22

       ... 10 years ago. 100%, right?

    4. LHLewis Howes1:08:24

       Wow.

    5. RDRob Dial1:08:24

       And I was like, "I need to change that. I need to start seeing what I can do." And so sometimes we'll go out and I'm like, "I'll pick up the bill," and I, I'll do these things. And so it's like you go by people... One of the things that I've done since I was, since I was probably 20 years old is I, I like to keep water and crackers and do- $1 bills inside of my car. So when I see a homeless person, I don't go, "Oh, yeah, I'm gonna judge them for the money that I give them." I say, "Hey, this was given..." I think in my mind, this was given to me to give to them, and so it's just flowing through me to give them.

    6. LHLewis Howes1:08:50

       Mm.

    7. RDRob Dial1:08:50

       So I'm gonna give them water, I'm gonna give them crackers, I'm gonna give you a couple dollars. And what I found is that my brain has started to realize if I can give to this other person and I can still eat, then there must be an abundance.

    8. LHLewis Howes1:09:00

       Mm.

    9. RDRob Dial1:09:01

       I have an abundance in my bank account. And so that's just been, like, the way that I've cultivated in myself the, the, the change of scarcity mindset around money to abundance around it.

    10. LHLewis Howes1:09:09

        Wow.

    11. RDRob Dial1:09:09

        And it's still something I'm working on. Like, it's not, I don't expect it to ever be gone, but I'm trying my best to work through it.

    12. LHLewis Howes1:09:14

        What do you think is the number one story blocking people from creating abundance, the story they tell themselves?

    13. RDRob Dial1:09:21

        I don't think that, uh, that most people feel like they are capable or worthy of success, um, whatever success means to them. And so I think that first off, people need to actually describe what success is. For some people, for me, what success was was being, you know, getting, making millions of dollars and stuff. Um, for some people, success might mean being a really great father or mother. Um, for some people it might be something different, whatever that might be. And so I think that what it is is, is to, to say, like, "Well, where is it that I wanna be in life?" And, and the thing that I love about being human is you can create anything that you wanna create. You know, like I, I don't, I don't expect that I'm gonna be in the NBA, right? I think those times have passed and I was-

    14. LHLewis Howes1:10:02

        [laughs]

    15. RDRob Dial1:10:02

        ... I wasn't that good. I was decent, right? So, like, I understand that's something I can't create, but there are other things where I can say with where I am now in life, what is it that I wanna create? If I live to 98, I've got 60 more years. Over the next 60 years, what is it I wanna create? And then I, I figure it out, and then I just sit there and I say, "Are there any fears or limiting beliefs that are coming up while I'm thinking of this?" And they'll come up, and you'll feel them, and then you just start to feel them. And what I like to do is journal through them. 'Cause I always tell people, like, like, life, life is complex. Like, it's very complex. Like, if I were to say, you know, "What's three plus seven?" Most people are gonna say, "10." But if I say, "What's 246 times 398?" Most people are gonna be like, "I don't know." But if I said, "Hey, if I give you a pen and paper, do you think you could figure it out?" Most people can go back to, like, fourth, fifth grade and start to do long div- long, long multiplication. [laughs]

    16. LHLewis Howes1:10:49

        I couldn't do that. [laughs] Still need a calculator.

    17. RDRob Dial1:10:50

        I could see the fear coming out as soon as I said it. [laughs]

    18. LHLewis Howes1:10:52

        I still get fear. I'm an idiot. I'm dumb. I can't do this. You know.

    19. RDRob Dial1:10:55

        Right? So it's like I- I know. I saw, I saw it click in your head like-

    20. LHLewis Howes1:10:57

        Ah. [laughs]

    21. RDRob Dial1:10:58

        ... "But I don't know if I can do that." Right? But if I give most people a pen and paper and, and they started

22. 1:11:02 – 1:14:17

    Overcoming Fears and Limiting Beliefs

    1. RDRob Dial1:11:02

       writing it out, they could start to go back and figure it out.

    2. LHLewis Howes1:11:04

       Right.

    3. RDRob Dial1:11:04

       Our life is a million times more complex than that math problem.

    4. LHLewis Howes1:11:07

       Mm-hmm.

    5. RDRob Dial1:11:08

       There's thoughts, there's feelings, there's emotions, there's programs, there's patterns, there's things that we have to do. There's other people in our life. I always say for most people, like, just go to a pen and paper. Where is it that I wanna be? Where, what do... One of the most important people, one of the most important questions people can ask themself is, "What do I want?"

    6. LHLewis Howes1:11:24

       Mm-hmm.

    7. RDRob Dial1:11:24

       And to get really clear on it, just write it out and journal it out. And then say, ask yourself another question, "Are there any fears or limiting beliefs coming in the way of that?" And you write out those fears and your limiting beliefs, and then s- go, like I said, try to play the other side for a second. Is there a chance that this fear is completely false? And one of the things I found that works with people is, is to do something like called, it's called pre-mortem in a business, where you, when you start a business, plan the failure of the business-

    8. LHLewis Howes1:11:50

       Mm

    9. RDRob Dial1:11:50

       ... and ask yourself how the business is going to fail, right? I did this when I brought in my VP of operations. She goes, "Before you do anything, I wanna do a pre-mortem," which is, how does this business fail? And I was like, "Okay, this is cool." So we planned out how my business could fail, and then what we did is we had a game plan of everything that we need to make sure that we worked through-

    10. LHLewis Howes1:12:06

        Uh-huh

    11. RDRob Dial1:12:06

        ... so we wouldn't fail. And so it's the exact same thing where it's like, where do I wanna be? I figure it out. I figured all my fears, my limiting beliefs, how could... And then what you do is you go, "What's the worst that could happen if I take this path?" What happens is, uh, there's a, a study that found that, uh, psychologists did that 85% of what we worry about never happens-

    12. LHLewis Howes1:12:24

        Mm

    13. RDRob Dial1:12:24

        ... at all. The remaining 15%, only 12% of it... I'm sorry, 12% of that doesn't happen as bad as you think it's going to, which means the remaining 3%, 3% of what we worry about happens as bad as we think that it's going to. So 32 out of 33 times it doesn't happen as bad as you think that it's going to. And so let's just plan out the absolute worst that could happen if I decide to change my life and take it on a new path, and plan out the whole thing and say, "What's the worst that could happen?" Now if I'm gonna ask myself that question, what's the next question I need to ask myself? What's the best thing that could happen? And then I say, "Is it worth it for me to go and try to make a change and try to create my life into what I want it to be?" Usually you find your fears and the worst that could happen is not really that bad, and the best that could happen is, like, beyond what you could possibly conceive.

    14. LHLewis Howes1:13:07

        That's good stuff, man.

    15. RDRob Dial1:13:08

        Thanks, man.

    16. LHLewis Howes1:13:09

        Um, I wanna ask you one final question.

    17. RDRob Dial1:13:12

        Okay.

    18. LHLewis Howes1:13:13

        You know, in the previous interview we did, we talked about your three truths and your definition of greatness, so people... We'll link that up so people can go watch that. Um, you've got The Mindset Mentor, which I want people to go check out, subscribe, follow, listen to four times a week now, is that right? What are you doing?

    19. RDRob Dial1:13:27

        Yeah, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

    20. LHLewis Howes1:13:29

        Amazing content. Um, I told a friend of mine that I was having you on today. He goes, "Man, I listen to his show almost every single day."

    21. RDRob Dial1:13:35

        Really?

    22. LHLewis Howes1:13:35

        Yeah, 20-minute episodes-

    23. RDRob Dial1:13:36

        That's awesome

    24. LHLewis Howes1:13:37

        ... just like great mindset, inspiration, so make sure you guys-

    25. RDRob Dial1:13:40

        What's his name?

    26. LHLewis Howes1:13:41

        His name is, um-

    27. RDRob Dial1:13:41

        First name?

    28. LHLewis Howes1:13:42

        ... Humble.

    29. RDRob Dial1:13:43

        Humble.

    30. LHLewis Howes1:13:44

        Humble the Poet.
23. 1:14:17 – 1:17:56

    Growing on Instagram and the Power of Strategy

    1. LHLewis Howes1:14:17

       You know, all these things. Abundance.

    2. RDRob Dial1:14:18

       Yeah.

    3. LHLewis Howes1:14:19

       But here's a question I wanna ask you about. You're also all over social media, Rob Dial everywhere on social media. What's your main platform right now? Is it Facebook? Is that where your biggest is?

    4. RDRob Dial1:14:27

       Uh, my biggest is Facebook. Um, but the one that I'm growing the most on and that seems to be-

    5. LHLewis Howes1:14:32

       YouTube

    6. RDRob Dial1:14:32

       ... doing the best is, uh, Instagram.

    7. LHLewis Howes1:14:34

       Instagram.

    8. RDRob Dial1:14:34

       Yeah.

    9. LHLewis Howes1:14:34

       There you go.

    10. RDRob Dial1:14:35

        It's, Instagram's going crazy. We're gr- growing, like, 50,000 a month at this point.

    11. LHLewis Howes1:14:38

        There you go, man.

    12. RDRob Dial1:14:38

        Yeah.

    13. LHLewis Howes1:14:39

        Keep going.

    14. RDRob Dial1:14:39

        So-

    15. LHLewis Howes1:14:39

        What is that strategy? Reels? Videos?

    16. RDRob Dial1:14:42

        Reels, videos, just trying, trying to put the best content out. Like, I'm-

    17. LHLewis Howes1:14:46

        That's right

    18. RDRob Dial1:14:46

        ... I'm, s- I sit down and I plan it. I mean, to, to s- make a f- 15, 30 second Reel I might spend 20 minutes scripting the entire thing.

    19. LHLewis Howes1:14:52

        Wow, really?

    20. RDRob Dial1:14:53

        Yeah. Spend a lot of time just trying to make-

    21. LHLewis Howes1:14:55

        It's not just random, you're actually strategizing.

    22. RDRob Dial1:14:57

        I'm strategizing.

    23. LHLewis Howes1:14:57

        Oh, interesting.

    24. RDRob Dial1:14:58

        100%.

    25. LHLewis Howes1:14:58

        Oh, okay. Yeah.

    26. RDRob Dial1:14:58

        Yeah. There's, there's a whole lot of strategy that went to these little things, you know?

    27. LHLewis Howes1:15:01

        That's great, man.

    28. RDRob Dial1:15:02

        Yeah.

    29. LHLewis Howes1:15:02

        That's great. Okay. So check him out everywhere. Uh, this question I'll ask you is, uh... Well, ac- actually first before I ask you this, if you guys are enjoying this then, uh, feel free to leave a comment below. If you're on YouTube leave a comment below, subscribe, and share your biggest takeaway from this episode with Rob. What was the thing that stuck out with you the most? Leave that below. You can also timestamp that in the comments so other people can see what you enjoyed the most.

    30. RDRob Dial1:15:27

        Nice.

Episode duration: 1:17:56