The Neuroscience of Manifestation: How Your Mind Is Creating Your Reality | Dr. James Doty

Lewis Howes 0:00 What is the number one thought that blocks us from the ability to manifest greater?

Speaker 0:05 Fear. It's insecurity, it's shame, and when you're fearful, this stimulate your sympathetic nervous system with all the negative aspects of it. When you love, you're open, you're generous, you're thoughtful, you're kind, because you've engaged the parasympathetic nervous system, and you have a choice. Bestselling author, international speaker, Professor Jim Doty. Dr. James Doty, what a pleasure to have you. The one and only. Great teacher, Dr. James Doty. We know that what wires together, fires together.

Lewis Howes 0:38 Fires together, yes.

Speaker 0:39 And my point about that is, number one, you have to work. This isn't like, "Oh, I thought of it, therefore it should happen." It's like anything. Everybody's manifesting every day. They just do it very inefficiently, right?

Lewis Howes 0:50 How did you learn to break the limiting beliefs and create more empowering beliefs to support you to feel emotionally free and start to attract more of what you wanted in your life?

Speaker 1:01 Well, first of all...

Lewis Howes 1:04 Welcome back, everyone, to The School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring James Doty in the house. Doctor.

Speaker 1:10 Hey, dude.

Lewis Howes 1:10 Good to see you.

Speaker 1:11 Pleasure.

Lewis Howes 1:11 Thanks for being here.

Speaker 1:12 Yeah, sure.

Lewis Howes 1:13 I am fascinated by this topic of manifestation, and I'm even more fascinated when you bring neuroscience research and studies that back the power of manifestation. Your new book, Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything, I'm very excited about because you kind of walk us through these different steps on the process of manifestation. So first, I wanted to ask you a question about the

Lewis Howes 1:39 difference between the law of attraction and manifestation. Are they the same thing or are they different?

Speaker 1:45 Well, if you look historically at the law of attraction, it goes back to Hermetics, which is this group in the first or second century AD, and there was this belief in the mind, and they used the terminology the law of attraction. And of course, then there's a guy, I think his name was Phineas Quimby, who, uh, uh, then promoted this further, and this was in the 18th century or so, and then of course... or 19th century. And then we had, uh, who was it? Uh, Think and Grow Rich.

Lewis Howes 2:15 Mm-hmm. Napoleon Hill.

Speaker 2:16 Yes. And, uh, and sort of continued on that path. Uh, so, um, it is this narrative that there is this universal power that, uh, when you want something, if you, whatever, use the right methods, you will get it. And, uh, and it's of course been embraced by the, uh, group who sort of promotes woo woo and pseudoscience, and that's not to say there's not a kernel of truth, but it's been surrounded by all sorts of, uh, other aspects that I think diminish the actual power of it.

Lewis Howes 2:56 Mm. So there is power in the law of attraction.

Speaker 3:00 Well, you could say it's synonymous. The manner in which it is used is synonymous with manifestation. Uh, the question is, I think more importantly, all of us are manifesting every day, right?

Lewis Howes 3:14 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:15 Most of us do it very inefficiently.

Lewis Howes 3:17 Right.

Speaker 3:18 You know, because everybody sits and says, "I want X, Y, or Z," or, "I wish for this to happen." I think there are techniques you can use that can maximize the potential for you manifesting your intentions.

Lewis Howes 3:31 Mm.

Speaker 3:32 So learning how the brain works and how those techniques work maximize that. Uh, so you go f- it's like an athlete, as you well know. You know, if you've never been taught something and you try it for the first time, you sort of stumble through it.

Lewis Howes 3:46 Yeah.

Speaker 3:46 Frankly, most people stumble through life, right? And then as you practice it or you learn from people who, you know, have the knowledge, then you, uh, perfect it. And, uh, and then you understand the, if you wanna say, the neuroscience underpinnings of it and how you make these, what we call cognitive brain networks interact. Uh, and then, uh, you've taken it from sort of, "Well, it might happen, I thought about it," to, "There's a high likelihood it will happen."

Lewis Howes 4:20 How... I mean, how... People talk about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. What is at play when we start to think about things we wanna manifest and actually actualizing them in the physical material world? Is it the conscious mind or the subconscious mind that is driving this manifestation process?

Speaker 4:40 Well, that's an excellent question.

Speaker 4:42 So the key is how do you get information which sticks into your subconscious? So just saying, "I want this," it may or may not work because, again, we're also distracted by all sorts of stuff. You know, uh, as an example, we have about 10 million bits of information coming in through our sensory organs every second.

Lewis Howes 5:03 10 million?

Speaker 5:04 Million, yes.

Lewis Howes 5:05 Wow.

Speaker 5:05 And we're only able to pro- process on a conscious level 50 to 100, okay? So now most of that goes to maintaining homeostasis or functioning of our body systems on an unconscious level. But, uh, we have actually access to our subconscious level, and you can learn that through different techniques, and then utilize those to maximize the input. And so when I say you have 50 to 100 bits, you can use part of that to consciously embed your intention if you know how to do that.

Lewis Howes 5:39 Interesting. Wow. Okay. And as a, you know, as a brain surgeon and a neuroscientist yourself, what did you learn through working on physical brains, the matter, as well as neuroscience in terms of, I guess, creating this for your life a more harmonious, abundant life, studying both the brain and the mind?

Speaker 6:04 In some ways. I, I mean, being a neurosurgeon's a physical task, and it's not as if there are little signs on the brain that tell you where everything is.

Lewis Howes 6:14 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 6:15 Now, certainly we know from anatomy generally where things are, but you have to remember, I, I mean, there's a subset of people who, you know, we talk about our speech center being on the left side, but there's a subset of people it's on the right side.

Lewis Howes 6:29 Really?

Speaker 6:30 Yes.

Lewis Howes 6:31 How do you know that?

Speaker 6:31 You don't [laughs] unless there's something that interferes with it-

Lewis Howes 6:35 Oh

Speaker 6:35 ... or you specifically test for it. So in general, the anatomy is pretty consistent, but, you know, it's like looking at somebody. You know, you're tall, there's a short person, and that's the way the brain works. Not everyone is wired the same way or, uh, has everything in the exact spot. And in fact, as an example, let's say you play the violin. The homunculus, which is, uh, both the sensory and motor area that, uh, has, uh, uh, different representations of body parts, if you're a violinist, the area associated with your hand or hands get dramatically increased in size compared to other-

Lewis Howes 7:17 Mm-hmm

Speaker 7:17 ... uh, uh, parts of your brain.

Lewis Howes 7:19 Interesting.

Speaker 7:19 And in fact, the same is true with, uh, certain types of meditation practices, right? So you can have a profound effect on your brain, uh, physical brain. Uh, and certainly, uh, you have power over your mind, and in some ways that's what we're talking about is... And this goes back, you mentioned the law of attraction, you know, uh, all is in the mind. And, uh, I think, in fact, some of the things you talk about, you understand that when you are disciplined and can get access, you can make things happen.

Lewis Howes 7:55 Yes.

Speaker 7:55 And whether it's a physical challenge or a mental challenge, uh, but you have to, uh, understand how to get access.

Lewis Howes 8:01 Hmm. So how do we get access?

Speaker 8:04 I'm not gonna tell you till you buy the book.

Lewis Howes 8:05 [laughs]

Speaker 8:06 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 8:07 Well, one of the things you talk about in the book is this phenomenon of vibration,

Lewis Howes 8:14 and, you know, it's interesting because there's brain waves, but there's also heart energy or vibration as well, and I think you mention about how the heart vibration is actually, I don't know, 10 or 15 times more powerful than the brain waves, I think. Correct?

Speaker 8:28 Yeah. Actually, you can measure the, uh, vibrational energy from the heart at five or six feet away, and, you know, this is where it gets confusing between the woo-woo and the reality-

Lewis Howes 8:40 Hmm

Speaker 8:40 ... because a lot of people will wrap all sorts of other baggage onto that. Uh, but it's true. And the interesting thing about that, though, is, and I'm sure y- you appreciated it, you can meet people who have an energy about them and a presence about them, and it makes you feel good.

Lewis Howes 8:59 Yeah.

Speaker 8:59 And typically, these are people who are non-judgmental, accepting, open, uh, and, uh, respect who you are as a person. They don't look down and, uh, at you, and you wanna be around those people. And those people emit this very positive energy.

Lewis Howes 9:16 That's interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 9:17 And, uh, and so it's interesting also because, as an example, if you have a group of women who live together, over a period of months their menstrual cycles will match.

Lewis Howes 9:29 Really?

Speaker 9:30 Yes.

Lewis Howes 9:30 Why is that?

Speaker 9:31 Well, it's the nature of this vibrational energy, and I talk about it in the book. And in fact, if you took a metronome, like had five or six metronomes lined up, and watched them and they're on the same table vibrating, uh, they will all get in sync over a period of time. And so this n- idea of vibration has actually an influence on things.

Lewis Howes 9:52 On other things.

Speaker 9:53 On... Yeah.

Lewis Howes 9:54 Uh-huh. So if I'm acting chaotic, and I'm constantly in this state of chaos, if I'm around someone else, I may influence them to create that type of vibration as well, or vice versa, they might influence me, if they're calmer, for me to get calm.

Speaker 10:08 Yes. Yes. Absolutely. And in fact, uh-

Lewis Howes 10:10 Which one wins?

Speaker 10:12 Oh, that's a good question.

Lewis Howes 10:13 [laughs]

Speaker 10:14 I mean, it, uh, uh, depends on how powerful that energy is, and that energy can be very powerful negative or, or positive.

Lewis Howes 10:21 Wow.

Speaker 10:21 And, and of course, I think you would agree, most people try to avoid being around negative people.

Lewis Howes 10:26 Of course.

Speaker 10:27 You know, uh, there's a saying that, what do they call them, energy eaters, I think. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 10:31 Yes.

Speaker 10:31 You know, you're around them, it's like... Uh, in fact, I got called by, uh, a, a woman the other day, and I just dread getting a call from her ever because it always turns into a drama about her. And you sit there, and it's just over and over again. And it's sad because, um... And we can talk about this more. All of us carry baggage from our childhoods, right?

Lewis Howes 10:55 Yes.

Speaker 10:56 And until you are aware that the baggage you carry has an influence on every decision you make, every relationship you have, uh, you can't change. As an example, I'm sure you've seen situations, uh, uh, where individuals repeatedly pick a- an abusive partner-

Lewis Howes 11:16 Yes

Speaker 11:16 ... over and over again, and think, "I don't understand why this happens to me," because you have created that energy that allows that to happen. And I'm not blaming. I'm just saying that, uh, this is truth. So if you n- never understood, as an example, that, wow, when I was a kid I had an abusive father, and, uh, you know, he would be mean to me or hurt me, the problem is, you know, that becomes familiar to you. And even though it's painful and hurts you, it is something that's associated with a love figure.

Lewis Howes 11:49 Interesting.

Speaker 11:49 And, and it's, it's really very, uh, sad, actually.

Lewis Howes 11:53 I mean, how... I mean, a lot of our programming and conditioning sounds like it is wired in us at a very young age, and we have been conditioned by seven, eight, nine, 10, to have a set of beliefs ... way of thinking and a way of feeling around our environments and relationships, and then we live with it for 10, 20, 30 years until we start to become aware of it, hopefully sooner. But we kind of repeat these patterns until there's a breakdown or there's a sadness or a breakup or something that gets us to wake up. How hard is it to change our belief systems that have been wired in us for decades?

Speaker 12:33 Well, it's very hard. I mean, you see it every day. You see, uh, people who, uh, become, uh, addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Lewis Howes 12:39 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 12:40 And, you know, it's not because they wanna live that life. It's because they're in such pain from the baggage they carry, and they have no way out.

Lewis Howes 12:48 That's the coping mechanism.

Speaker 12:49 Yes, and to-

Lewis Howes 12:50 The relief

Speaker 12:50 ... yes, uh, and so it, it's very sad. Uh, and as you pointed out, until there is a profound, painful event that gets their attention-

Lewis Howes 13:02 Mm

Speaker 13:02 ... many of them won't change.

Lewis Howes 13:04 Is it possible for people to change if they don't go through some type of painful, dramatic event?

Speaker 13:10 Well, you know, there's a saying, "The teacher comes when the student's ready."

Lewis Howes 13:13 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 13:13 If the student's not ready, uh, it's hard to change. Now, don't get me wrong, uh, you know, there's certainly instances where somebody, like, wakes up one day and they go, "I don't like this. You know, [laughs] I feel horrible, and, you know, I've just ruined this relationship. I need to have a, uh, an internal-

Lewis Howes 13:30 Mm

Speaker 13:30 ... uh, assessment of myself and talk to some people and to give me insight." Yes, you can do that, uh, but i- it's hard. And e- even for me, uh, as an example, as a child, I learned a sort of a manifestation technique from a woman in a magic shop, and this is actually about my first book, which was called Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain-

Lewis Howes 13:56 Mm

Speaker 13:56 ... and the Secrets of the Heart. And that story is about my own childhood growing up in poverty with an alcoholic father and a mother who had had a stroke when I was a child-

Lewis Howes 14:07 Wow

Speaker 14:07 ... uh, was partially paralyzed, uh, had a seizure disorder, and chronically depressed-

Lewis Howes 14:12 Wow

Speaker 14:12 ... and attempted suicide multiple times.

Lewis Howes 14:15 Wow.

Speaker 14:15 And we were on public assistance. Well, you know, you can imagine overcoming that baggage is very, very hard, and, uh, uh, but this is also an example of how one person can intervene and change somebody's life. And so what happened was I had an interest in magic, and, uh, and thus the, actually, the name of this book is Mind Magic. Uh, and it ended up... When my parents would... Some event would happen which was traumatic, I would get on my bicycle and ride as far and as fast away as I could. And, uh, I ended up at a strip mall, and there was a magic shop there, and I walked in, and there was a woman there who was, as I described, this radiant person with this incredible smile, whose very presence embraced you, and I was 12.

Lewis Howes 15:02 Wow.

Speaker 15:03 And I was filled with despair, hopelessness. And, uh, it turned out she was the owner's mother. She knew nothing about magic.

Lewis Howes 15:11 Really?

Speaker 15:12 Yes, but we began a conversation, and, uh, uh, and she was giving me chocolate chip cookies.

Lewis Howes 15:18 [laughs]

Speaker 15:19 Uh, which was [laughs] yeah-

Lewis Howes 15:20 Great. Exactly what you needed at that time

Speaker 15:21 ... a great time. But the thing is she asked me actually some, um, personal questions, which frankly, uh, you know, who wants to tell somebody you're poor, your father's an alcoholic [laughs] ?" But I answered her questions, and

Speaker 15:37 after a while she said to me, she said, "You know, I really like you. I think I can teach you something that could really help you." And what she taught me was what we would now call a mindfulness practice.

Lewis Howes 15:47 Mm.

Speaker 15:47 Because as you know, uh, talking about baggage, when you grow up in a unpredictable, chaotic environment, you're essentially in a war zone every day.

Lewis Howes 15:56 Yes.

Speaker 15:56 As a result, it cro- chronically stimulates your sympathetic nervous system or your flight, fight, or fear response, and what happens is that affects your brain in the sense that it cuts down options because you're looking at the shortest distance you have to go to survive. As a result, you can never relax. You're always fidgety. You're always looking around 'cause you never know what's gonna happen next. So she taught me a, uh, technique, a, what- what's called a body survey now, how to relax your body.

Lewis Howes 16:27 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 16:28 And, uh, then she taught me how to concentrate, in this case, by looking at a candle and doing a breathing exercise, and these are the fundamental techniques associated with a mindfulness practice-

Lewis Howes 16:39 Yes

Speaker 16:39 ... because it, then it shifts you from engagement of your sympathetic nervous system to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is really where we should live. You're open. You're thoughtful. You have access to your executive control areas in the brain in terms of memory and experience, and, uh, you're much more creative.

Lewis Howes 16:57 Mm.

Speaker 16:58 And so when you're able to make that shift, that changes how you look at the world. The other problem is from these types of backgrounds, but I would say essentially everyone, uh, we have a negative dialogue going on in our head.

Lewis Howes 17:11 An inner critic.

Speaker 17:12 Yes, and as much as, you know, people say, uh, you know, I always ask this question when I give a talk, and, you know, almost everybody raises their hand, and then this time, don't, and you go, "Look, dude, you're lying, man." [laughs] Everybody has an inner critic. It's just some are much more powerful, uh, than others. And, uh, so she also taught me to recognize that that wasn't truth.

Lewis Howes 17:33 The inner critic.

Speaker 17:34 Yes, because if you, uh, and being an athlete, I'm sure you know, uh, if you tell yourself it's not possible, by definition, it is not possible. It cannot happen. And so when people listen to that, they are giving their self-agency away, and in some ways, uh, this is the nature of how we take control of our manifestation. Uh, and, uh, as you know from the first sentence in the book-

Lewis Howes 17:58 Mm-hmm

Speaker 17:59 ... it says, "The universe doesn't give a about you," because it has no to give. There is not some external entity deciding your fate because you're a good or a bad guy. But we have immense power within us to control our destiny.

Lewis Howes 18:15 Mm.

Speaker 18:15 And when you give it away and listen to that critic, then you're limiting your beliefs. So the key is, how do you, uh, unlimit your beliefs, if you will, and that is understanding the incredible power you have within yourself. When you sit there and say every day, "I'm not worthy. I don't deserve love. It's not possible. I'm an imposter. I can't do it," it's as if you're building a prison for yourself with bricks-

Lewis Howes 18:43 Wow

Speaker 18:43 ... and the wall gets higher, and it gets darker, and you feel more and more powerless, and you feel like there's some external force controlling your life. When you understand within you is an incredible power to change your destiny, and you have that power, and finally you recognize it, then extraordinary things can happen. And this is how you go from you being in charge, or, uh, let's say a belief that others are in charge, to actually you being in charge.

Lewis Howes 19:12 But how did... I mean, how did you learn to break free of the limiting beliefs that you had and the fight or flight symptoms that you were constantly in? Which I felt as a kid as well, uh, involved very insecure, stupid, and unlovable for many different reasons, and I was able to back it with beliefs and evidence throughout my childhood. How did you learn to break the limiting beliefs and h- and create more empowering beliefs to support you to feel emotionally free and start to attract more of what you wanted in your life?

Speaker 19:44 Well, first of all, uh, I don't want to imply that that journey's done. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 19:48 Right. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 19:50 You know, sometimes people look at you and they go, "Oh, man, you have it all together now." You... None of us have it all together, right? Every one of us is still a frail, fragile human being who is struggling.

Lewis Howes 20:01 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 20:01 And, uh, uh, some of us are a little further on that journey. Others are... continue to have difficulty. But, uh, interacting with this woman made me see the world through a different lens, because when you have negative statements that you tell yourself repeatedly, as I said, that takes away your agency-

Lewis Howes 20:24 Yes

Speaker 20:24 ... your own power.

Lewis Howes 20:25 You feel powerless.

Speaker 20:26 Yes. A- and... but the thing is, then, when you're beating up yourself, and you're typically the most critical person of yourself than anyone you know, then you look through the lens of being critical to everyone else.

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Speaker 21:49 Yes.

Lewis Howes 21:49 So when we are critical of ourselves, does that support us in creating great relationships with others?

Speaker 21:55 No. Oftentimes, it's, uh, very damaging, because you're always thinking of, "Oh, well, they're gonna cheat on me. They're going to lie," because you're telling yourself these types of narratives.

Lewis Howes 22:04 Wow.

Speaker 22:04 And so, uh, it's hard to be authentic.

Lewis Howes 22:08 When you're critical of self.

Speaker 22:09 Yes, yes. And, and this goes back to a whole nother discussion, if you will, about if you look at the blue zones as an example, I... Obviously, we're jumping around all over the place here.

Lewis Howes 22:19 Sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 22:19 But if you-

Lewis Howes 22:19 Loma Linda's right down the street, an hour away.

Speaker 22:22 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 22:22 One of the blue zones.

Speaker 22:22 Yes, of course. Uh, but if you look at, uh, the blue zones or you look at the work of, uh, the Harvard Longevity or Adult Development Study it's called.

Lewis Howes 22:33 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 22:33 But this is the work of Robert Waldinger. Centuries ago when we lived in villages, um, we were born there. Uh, we had a community that even with our flaws still loved us-

Lewis Howes 22:48 Mm-hmm

Speaker 22:48 ... watched out for us-

Lewis Howes 22:49 Wow

Speaker 22:49 ... and taught us lessons. We had our parents, our siblings, our grandparents in proximity to us, and the very nature of that actually, uh, you don't have that negative dialogue going on.

Lewis Howes 23:03 Mm.

Speaker 23:03 Okay?

Lewis Howes 23:04 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 23:04 It is the negative dialogue that's extraordinarily unhealthy, uh, because you see, when you're always stressed and anxious and negative towards yourself, well, what does this do? This stimulates your sympathetic nervous system, which then does what? It results in the production of, uh, inflammatory proteins, which of course are associated with chronic disease states. It depresses your immune system. Uh, it increases the levels of stress hormones like cortisol, which on a chronic basis are very bad for you. Your cardiac function's impaired. Your blood pressure's increased. So all these negative aspects are activated when you're constantly hypercritical.

Lewis Howes 23:44 Wow.

Speaker 23:45 Right? And then you don't feel that good.

Lewis Howes 23:47 Right. You feel tired.

Speaker 23:48 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 23:48 You feel exhausted and drained.

Speaker 23:49 And the other aspect is, as an example with my own parents, I used to have a sense that it wasn't that I wasn't loved, but I was ignored. Uh, I couldn't understand why they would do these actions, and I was angry all the time. And when I changed how I looked at the world, it made me much more sympathetic and kind, because I realized everyone is suffering on some level. And the issue wasn't that they didn't care, the issue was they had not had tools to help themselves

Lewis Howes 24:24 To heal, to process, to regulate. Yeah

Speaker 24:26 Exactly. And so, you know, I'm sure you've known people, you watch them go through their lives, and they constantly struggle because no one has ever shown them a different way, and that's the only way. And sometimes [laughs] I think you're probably thinking, "Yes, I've showed them 1,000 times."

Lewis Howes 24:42 But they're not-

Speaker 24:43 "They don't listen"

Lewis Howes 24:43 ... they're not willing.

Speaker 24:44 Yes, and that's-

Lewis Howes 24:44 They've gotta be willing to apply, right? And learn

Speaker 24:46 ... well, it's back to the question of the teacher [laughs]

Lewis Howes 24:48 If they're, if they're ready to, yeah

Speaker 24:49 Yes, yes, yes. But the reason I was saying that, though, is that, uh, in many ways sets the stage for how you're gonna respond. So this interaction with this woman, I was able to self-regulate. I was a-

Lewis Howes 25:01 She taught you skills

Speaker 25:03 ... yes, she taught me a mindfulness practice

Lewis Howes 25:04 And you were ready for it

Speaker 25:05 Exactly. And so I realized once I was able to relax, once I was able to be present and attend, because you can't learn anything or change if your mind's always somewhere, right? I- in my example of growing up, you know, I never knew what was gonna happen, so I'm always worried about something happening to me. But the action is here between you and I, it's not about possibilities. And this also limits people's power, right? Because you, if you can't focus and attend, you can't accomplish, right? And if you're always distracted-

Lewis Howes 25:39 Mm

Speaker 25:39 ... it's, it's not possible. So she taught me to relax, she taught me to be present, and, uh, and then strange things happen because you're feeling a different type of energy coming from others a- and yourself, and that energy has an influence. As an example, um, I'm sure that you've seen the situation, uh, and, uh, where you get a bad vibe from, from somebody on the street and you cross the street [laughs]

Lewis Howes 26:08 Mm, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 26:08 Well, and, and you are picking up something on an intuitive level, but the thing is, i- if you have anger and hostility yourself, you are emanating that to other people. And s- what I tell people is when I changed how I looked at myself, it changed how I looked at the world.

Lewis Howes 26:26 Mm.

Speaker 26:27 And it ch- that changed how the world reacted to me

Lewis Howes 26:30 How the, how the world looked at you as well

Speaker 26:32 E- exactly. So after this period of time with this woman, I was much more open, I was thoughtful, I was generous, I was kind, and I, because I understood I had been in pain and was in pain, but so were other people. So it, it changed how I looked at them.

Lewis Howes 26:48 Wow.

Speaker 26:48 And I think that's a very critical, uh, aspect of sort of, uh, maturing, uh, and sort of, uh-

Lewis Howes 26:57 Sure

Speaker 26:57 ... being on a path of, uh, uh, self-development.

Lewis Howes 27:00 That's beautiful. What would you say, then, is the... What is the, the number one thought and number one emotion

Lewis Howes 27:09 that blocks us from the ability to manifest greater?

Speaker 27:13 Fear.

Lewis Howes 27:15 What type of fear?

Speaker 27:17 Well, it's insecurity, it's shame, and, uh, it's, this results in you li- limiting your beliefs. And so in some ways what we're talking about here actually is a decision between fear and love.

Lewis Howes 27:34 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 27:35 Right? And when you're fearful, this stimulates your sympathetic nervous system with all the negative aspects of it. When you love, you're open, you're generous, you're thoughtful, you're kind because you've engaged the parasympathetic nervous system, and you have a choice. This is like if you look at stoic philosophers like somebody like Epictetus who was a slave. He says, "I cannot control my external environment. What I can control is how I react to my environment." Right? So you meet people, I'm sure, say, "My life's miserable, my life's horrible," while th- you meet other people go, "Well, it's tough right now, but I'm, you know, optimistic it's gonna get better," or, "I know if I do this, it's gonna get better."

Lewis Howes 28:19 Uh-huh.

Speaker 28:19 These are completely oppositional attitudes that have a profound, profound effect depending on what you believe in.

Lewis Howes 28:28 Yes. But how does someone shift their attitude into positive when they're in a suffering state and they feel like they're a victim to so many different things happening to them?

Speaker 28:37 Sure. Well, I can't sit here and say, "You do this and your life's gonna be perfect." Th- there's some situations, either because of, uh, as an example, structural racism that's built into the system, uh, or chronic poverty. Because, uh, throughout the world, and even in America, the ability to overcome poverty, uh, for most it's highly unlikely that's going to happen.

Lewis Howes 29:04 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 29:04 So yes, you do have power, but it's not necessarily, "I'm gonna change it and everything's gonna be perfect for me." And I'm sure things are not perfect for you.

Lewis Howes 29:14 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 29:15 Right?

Lewis Howes 29:15 Yeah.

Speaker 29:16 And no matter how much you try or want, while externally things may look fantastic, it's not perfect.

Lewis Howes 29:23 Sure.

Speaker 29:23 And it's not the way you necessarily want. And, and I, I have to say the same thing. But there are people who, yeah, uh, no matter how hard they're gonna work, it's gonna be very challenging. That being said, what we do know is there's certain practices and rules, and if you are going to get out of something, or if you are-

Lewis Howes 29:44 Yes

Speaker 29:44 ... going to change things, then the best way to do that which has the highest likelihood of success is to go through some of the things that we're talking about here. And one of those is that, as an example, there is a tendency for us to want to achieve, right? And if you're an athlete, you have a goal you set there. Well, goals and... are fine, but if you Focus only on the goal and have no concern about any of the other things that are going on

Lewis Howes 30:22 The process, yeah yeah

Speaker 30:24 ... yeah, then, uh, you reach the goal and there's nothing there.

Lewis Howes 30:27 Yeah.

Speaker 30:27 Yet what we do know, the greatest cause of suffering is what? It's attachment and craving.

Lewis Howes 30:34 Mm. Desires.

Speaker 30:35 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 30:36 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 30:36 Yeah. And, and the thing is, when-

Lewis Howes 30:38 Interesting

Speaker 30:38 ... that is your absolute focus, and we can't all get these things, you're gonna be highly disappointed, and you've ignored all the people in your life as you focus solely on that. And, uh, uh, and unfortunately, many people learn that lesson far along after they've destroyed their families, they've been through multiple marriages-

Lewis Howes 30:59 Right

Speaker 30:59 ... their kids don't like them [laughs] Right?

Lewis Howes 31:01 'Cause they've been chasing a result or a goal or a dream, but neglecting everything else.

Speaker 31:06 Yeah, because again, uh, as I was saying even about myself, I thought, "Well, if I just do this, you know, I'll... my shame and insecurity will go away. Uh, I'll be loved by everybody, and my life will be perfect." Yet at th- every one of those peaks, all I had was disappointment. And while everyone told me life was great, I did not feel that inside, because I had not understood-

Lewis Howes 31:29 Mm

Speaker 31:29 ... that I was the only one who had the key to the self-created prison. And until you realize that, you're on a very difficult path.

Lewis Howes 31:37 So if we're coming from a place of insecurity, fear, or lack, and we're saying, "You know what? I wanna manifest. I wanna create more for myself. I wanna have more money, I wanna have more opportunities, accomplishments, success, and that's what I want. I desire these things." And I start to apply some of the, the practices of manifesting and creating more abundance in my life. But if I create those external results, and I haven't shifted the insecurities or the shame, what happens next?

Speaker 32:11 Well, you end up the way I did, which is you have everything and you're incredibly unhappy. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 32:17 Yeah. So you can still manifest and attract what you want and create what you want and accomplish goals, but it's not gonna make you feel different about yourself. It mighta makes you, actually make you feel worse.

Speaker 32:26 Exactly. And, and in s- this is why I was telling you about the story about the woman, because I was 12, and she s- she taught me a visualization technique or manifestation technique, which is actually the origin of where this book came from.

Lewis Howes 32:38 Ah.

Speaker 32:39 So at 12 she said, "I want you to write down 10 things that you want." Well, again, unfortunately, in Western capitalist society, and a 12-year-old, you sit there and think of what people want in that-

Lewis Howes 32:51 I want money, I want cars.

Speaker 32:52 Yes

Lewis Howes 32:52 I want girls, I want... [laughs]

Speaker 32:54 Yes. Uh, well, yeah, I, I, uh, I wanted a Rolex watch. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 32:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 32:57 Because a friend of my father had one and it looked so amazing to me, right? I wanted a silver Porsche car. [laughs] I wanted a, uh, a mansion overlooking the ocean. Uh, et cetera, et cetera.

Lewis Howes 33:08 At 12.

Speaker 33:09 Yes.

Lewis Howes 33:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 33:10 And I wanted a, a million dollars, which nowadays is probably about 100 million. But anyway, uh, uh, and I got absolutely every one of those things, and I was more miserable than I had ever been.

Lewis Howes 33:21 Really?

Speaker 33:22 And the interesting thing about that is that, and this is in some ways the point of this book, because again, the average person thinks they know what they want, they don't understand what they need.

Lewis Howes 33:36 Mm.

Speaker 33:36 And that's the critical aspect here.

Lewis Howes 33:38 What's the difference between knowing what we want and having what we need?

Speaker 33:43 So as you know, there's what we call hedonic happiness. So the list I just gave you- [laughs]

Lewis Howes 33:49 Ah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 33:49 ... relates to pleasure and hedonic happiness. I want... It will make me feel good about myself. I, I, I. That is the worst thing you can do if you want to manifest the best.

Lewis Howes 34:04 Really?

Speaker 34:04 Yes. Because-

Lewis Howes 34:05 When you make it about self.

Speaker 34:06 Yes, because in some ways you're talking about insecurity. The driver of that is insecurity, fear, right?

Lewis Howes 34:13 And not enough.

Speaker 34:14 And not enough. And, and especially poor people look through the lens of not enough.

Lewis Howes 34:18 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 34:18 And so when you're acting by f- a belief in, based on fear, that has a negative effect on these cognitive brain networks.

Lewis Howes 34:27 Mm.

Speaker 34:27 Now, it doesn't mean it's not possible. It just means that, uh, you're limiting yourself. And so we talk about this idea of hedonic or selfish happiness, and this is transitory, it's shallow, doesn't last long, right? Eudaimonic

Speaker 34:45 happiness is a sense of, uh, purpose-

Lewis Howes 34:52 Mm

Speaker 34:53 ... and, uh, that actually is in terms of benefiting others. It's not about yourself. And the key to that, though, is that when you look through the lens, and we're talking about looking through the lens of compassion, what happens is that you then change how you see the world and what you need-

Lewis Howes 35:15 Mm

Speaker 35:15 ... not what you want.

Lewis Howes 35:16 Interesting.

Speaker 35:17 Right. You see, and that changes everything, because you s- you realize when you're of service, when you're caring for others, you don't necessarily need... The, having that big house or the Porsche isn't gonna make you whole.

Lewis Howes 35:30 Right.

Speaker 35:30 And so you probably don't chase that anymore because it's, it's, it's a chimera that you're focused on because you think it's going to help get rid of the shame and the emptiness.

Lewis Howes 35:40 Right.

Speaker 35:40 You see, so it's a different mindset. So when you shift to the parasympathetic nervous system, that activates all of your brain networks and allows them to sync together, if you will, and then, uh, has the highest likelihood of manifesting.

Lewis Howes 35:55 Interesting. So what I'm hearing you say, and correct me if I'm wrong, when we come from a place of lack and wanting more for personal gain by itself, it's not gonna bring us the ultimate level of happiness, versus when we come from a place of wanting to create more to serve or impact others in some way that is connected to a purpose, a greater purpose, we will have more fulfillment and-

36:24 ... hopefully manifest exactly what we need.

Speaker 36:27 Exactly. That's exactly right, and that summarizes it. That is the fundamental key here.

Lewis Howes 36:31 Interesting.

Speaker 36:32 And I, and I can tell you, you know, for myself, as I said, I, I did get everything I wanted, and I was miserable. And then I went through this period where I'd been, uh, very successful in business and, uh, uh, during the dotcom period, and I had $80 million or so, and then the crash came. I was $3 million in debt, but I had been miserably [laughs] unhappy anyway. And so-

Lewis Howes 36:58 With 80 million or negative three billion, yeah.

Speaker 37:00 Well, uh, there was not much difference, actually.

Lewis Howes 37:03 Really?

Speaker 37:03 Uh, uh-

Lewis Howes 37:04 When you had 80 million of, I guess, net worth, uh, in b- in the bank or on paper, how did that make you feel? Did you feel any better about your self-worth?

Speaker 37:12 No.

Lewis Howes 37:13 Really?

Speaker 37:13 No, not a bit.

Lewis Howes 37:14 Not even for like a moment, like, "Oh, I've got money now. I did this thing-"

Speaker 37:17 No. Uh, uh-

Lewis Howes 37:17 "... and look, I proved all you wrong," and...

Speaker 37:20 Yeah, but I... Yes, I proved them all wrong, but it did nothing for me, and that's my point is, you know, I... Well, let me back, uh, up a little bit. Did I enjoy driving Ferraris? Yes.

Lewis Howes 37:32 Yes.

Speaker 37:33 Did I enjoy Porsches? Yes. Did I enjoy having a villa, uh, uh, in, in Florence? Yes. But that being said, I was missing so much-

Lewis Howes 37:45 Hmm

Speaker 37:45 ... that it limited how good I felt about any of it. Because, uh, you know, having friends who tell you how great you are, unless you believe it, it doesn't mean anything.

Lewis Howes 37:57 Wow.

Speaker 37:57 And, you know, I, I didn't believe it. Uh, and, uh, so when the dotcom period came, I lost all this money, and I had to sell everything. And so I went through this period of deep reflection. [laughs] And the part of it was, what had I missed in what this woman was trying to teach me? And obviously, I was 12, and I had no self-awareness. Uh, uh, but the other thing that happened is, even though I was a doctor helping people, my actions though were based on, "I want people to see I'm a doctor," right?

Lewis Howes 38:29 Hmm. Status.

Speaker 38:30 Yes, status.

Lewis Howes 38:31 Acknowledgement.

Speaker 38:31 Yes, yeah.

Lewis Howes 38:31 "Look at me. I..."

Speaker 38:32 Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm the doctor. I live in this, uh, mansion overlooking the ocean. I have all of these cars. I come into the hospital, and everyone praises me, right? And that was out of my own insecurity and anxiety and fear. When I went through this period of r- self-reflection, I really understood that, and then it changed, right? Because it was no longer about me. It was about other people. And as an example, uh, there's, uh, I mentioned Jim Carrey.

Lewis Howes 39:05 I love that part about this, yeah.

Speaker 39:07 Yeah, uh-

Lewis Howes 39:07 I love the story of the $10 million check and the whole thing.

Speaker 39:09 Right. But what he said with his audience was, you know, when he started, it was all about his own ego being involved.

Lewis Howes 39:16 Yes.

Speaker 39:16 And then he realized, though, he was there for a purpose to be of service to the people.

Lewis Howes 39:21 Yeah.

Speaker 39:22 And in fact, uh, Jimmy Page with Led Zeppelin, I don't know if you ever heard this story, you know, he used to get really angry because he'd always be asked to play Stairway to Heaven. [laughs] Right? And he said, "That used to make me boil over because I had new music. I did all of this, but everyone wanted to listen to Stairway to Heaven." And he said, "Then I realized it's not about me," [laughs] right?

Lewis Howes 39:46 It's about serving others-

Speaker 39:48 Yes

Lewis Howes 39:48 ... and what they want.

Speaker 39:49 Yes.

Lewis Howes 39:49 Right.

Speaker 39:49 And they had grown up with this. They had a emotional attachment to it because it represented events in their lives that were positive, and they just wanted to experience that. And so he was being very selfish by looking through that same lens. And again, this is what we get into. So when you change how you look at the world, it changes everything. And again, this is a choice that each of us can make.

Lewis Howes 40:15 Hmm. Wow. You know those moments when you're ordering everything to your house from groceries, gear, random things you didn't even realize you needed until the last minute? It just makes life a little easier. And now you can add internet to that list. Get same-day delivery for T-Mobile 5G Home Internet powered by DoorDash. No store visits. No waiting around for a technician. It shows up, you plug it in, and you're online in about 15 minutes with one cord. T-Mobile has the fastest 5G home internet. Work or stream a favorite show with fewer interruptions. For me, working from home on the podcast, that simplicity matters a lot. I'm on video calls, uploading episodes, researching guests, and sending emails, and when everything just works and I don't have to think about it, I stay focused on what actually matters. It fits right into my workflow, and it keeps things moving throughout the day. Visit t-mobile.com/homeinternet to check availability and get your home internet delivered today. Same-day delivery for most internet-eligible customers. See if it's an option during checkout. Fastest according to Ookla Speedtest Intelligence data second half 2025. All rights reserved. The School of Greatness is brought to you in partnership with Airbnb, and when you travel for a big event, you realize how much the right space matters. It's so important. A game, a conference, a tournament, a weekend that you've been looking forward to for months. After a full day out, it feels so good to come back to a place that feels comfortable, grounded, and more like home. That's one of the things I appreciate about Airbnb. Because people are traveling for meaningful moments all the time, and having a space that feels warm and welcoming can make the entire experience better. And it also makes me think about how many moments are happening in our own cities all the time, whether it be a game or a tournament or a conference or a big weekend that can bring so many people into town. And for anyone who has a space that they've thought about sharing, those big event weekends can be a great opportunity to list it on Airbnb and also earn some extra income. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.

42:41 Host. As a, you know, as someone who's been a, a doctor and a neuroscientist, neurosurgeon for many years, researching this work for a long time, what is the biggest challenge you face at this season of your life when it comes to manifesting that you still have yet to overcome or are overcoming?

Speaker 43:01 Well, one of the things I learned is not to have

Speaker 43:04 attachment.

Lewis Howes 43:04 Mm. Yeah.

Speaker 43:06 To what? To anything. And I, I... and, and look, it's not perfect, but my point is, and yes, if you say, "Well, what about your child or your wife or... and something hap- " Yes. But that being said, the nature of life is disappointments oftentimes, and, um, we cause our own suffering by having these attachments, right? And, uh, uh, so do I like nice cars and... Yeah, I drive a Porsche [laughs] .

Lewis Howes 43:38 Right, right. Luxuries and yeah, yeah.

Speaker 43:39 Yeah. Uh, and I've worked very hard. I've given immense amounts to other people. I have no bad feeling about those things. But what I can tell you is if all of it goes away tomorrow, it will have no impact on my mental state.

Lewis Howes 43:54 Wow.

Speaker 43:55 And that is the key because you see-

Lewis Howes 43:57 That's freedom.

Speaker 43:58 Yes, that's exactly right, because if you grow up in poverty-

Lewis Howes 44:02 Mm

Speaker 44:02 ... what is the thing that binds you or holds you or imprisons you? Money.

Lewis Howes 44:07 Mm.

Speaker 44:08 Okay? So when I lost everything and then I had this choice of this stock that I could give a- away to charity or not, I chose to give it away-

Lewis Howes 44:22 Mm

Speaker 44:22 ... which was $30 million. But giving it away liberated me.

Lewis Howes 44:26 Wow. Why?

Speaker 44:27 I just didn't care anymore.

Lewis Howes 44:28 Wow.

Speaker 44:28 It no longer imprisoned me, you see?

Lewis Howes 44:31 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 44:32 And that is a level, you know, it takes time and work to get to.

Lewis Howes 44:36 Yeah.

Speaker 44:37 Uh, and you know, uh, many people [laughs] my wife said when I gave all that money away, she said, "I don't..." There was a article in Wall Street Journal. She goes, "I don't mind him giving money away. I just wish he hadn't given it all away." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 44:48 [laughs] Now-

Speaker 44:50 Wow

Lewis Howes 44:50 ... I'm curious when, you know, is it a bad thing for people to want to have material possessions, a nice car, a nice home, a, you know, a million dollars in their bank account or nice clothes? Is that a bad thing when they're thinking of manifesting because it's about them?

Speaker 45:09 Well, uh, if that, if everything is about you and your narrative is always about you, I think you're gonna live an unhappy, uh-

Lewis Howes 45:17 Mm

Speaker 45:17 ... life.

Lewis Howes 45:18 Right

Speaker 45:18 Because you have no purpose or meaning.

Lewis Howes 45:21 Right.

Speaker 45:21 Right? I mean, uh, yes, is it cool to walk around in designer clothes and go to parties and hang out with the whatever? Yeah, sure. There's nothing wrong with that. But when every action in your life is a selfish action towards your needs-

Lewis Howes 45:39 Mm

Speaker 45:40 ... then it's a hollow existence. As an example, I, I tell people, of course, they can't attach to a woman. They have to have the next beautiful woman, right? [laughs] And they, you know, and their whole thing is be seen with the beautiful woman. It's not about, "I care about this person. I really like her. She's really special." It's, you know, "Does she have the attributes that make me look good?"

Lewis Howes 46:01 Mm.

Speaker 46:01 Okay? Or it's, you know, "God, I can't go to this event in that car of mine. I need to be in a Ferrari so people look at me," right? And that is a hollow, very selfish existence. Now, I'm sure there are people who are listening going, "I'm not that way." Well, you are that way. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 46:19 Oh, right. Sure.

Speaker 46:22 And, uh-

Lewis Howes 46:22 So you're saying you, you can have it, though, but as long as you're also in, have meaning or purpose surrounding your life as well, otherwise it'll be hollow.

Speaker 46:29 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:29 If you just want the material home or the bigger, bigger, bigger thing.

Speaker 46:34 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:34 But you can still have it.

Speaker 46:35 Of course. Absolutely. I have it. I have no complaints, and I work hard. And I have no guilt about that whatsoever, but I s- still do tons of actions that are of benefit to a larger, uh, goal or mission or to a larger purpose outside of myself.

Lewis Howes 46:52 Yeah. You ta- you talk about these networks and vibrations. You, you mentioned this, the, the physiology of manifesting. I'm curious, is it more important to be thinking a certain intention or certain ideas or beliefs, feeling a certain emotions, or physically in a vibration total body to help you manifest?

Speaker 47:15 Well, certainly if you can bring it all together, I mean, that's the ideal. But, uh, uh, I think, one is, again, we've talked about limited beliefs.

Lewis Howes 47:25 Yes.

Speaker 47:26 You have to, uh, understand what causes you to limit your belief, and it, in some ways it comes down to self-compassion. When you're kind to yourself, then that changes your own physiology. It shifts you from the fear network-

Lewis Howes 47:42 And critical network-

Speaker 47:43 Yeah

Lewis Howes 47:44 ... into-

Speaker 47:44 The d-

Lewis Howes 47:44 ... compassion, right?

Speaker 47:45 Yes, exactly. And so-

Lewis Howes 47:47 Huh

Speaker 47:47 ... I think that's an important aspect. And, uh, again, as an example, I talk about these different networks.

Speaker 47:55 There's the default mode network. There's the salience network, the attention network, and the executive control network. Now, the reason I mention these is the executive control network actually gets things done, if you want to put it that way. But if you're driven by fear and anxiety and insecurity, then that limits its ability to do so-

Lewis Howes 48:18 Mm. Mm

Speaker 48:19 ... because you don't have full access, because that's where you have productivity and creativity.

Lewis Howes 48:24 Full access to what? Your-

Speaker 48:25 Your entire, uh, your memories and past experiences.

Lewis Howes 48:28 Okay.

Speaker 48:28 This is what the executive control network contains, and it's shut down when you're fear- uh, uh, fearful or anxious. And so that's one aspect. And then, uh, you know, the other aspect, we talk about embedding your intentions. You know?

Lewis Howes 48:43 Yes.

Speaker 48:43 You have to make that thing you want salient.

Lewis Howes 48:48 What does that mean?

Speaker 48:48 It means, uh- It has to be something that touches you that you really feel like it's there with you and you want it. And the reason I bring that up is because salience, uh, is it activates, if you wanna call it, a bloodhound within your head where it looks around for opportunities for you to manifest. I'll give you an example.

Lewis Howes 49:16 You're talking about bloodhound or you're talking about something else?

Speaker 49:18 Uh, uh, well, not a, a-

Lewis Howes 49:19 Bloodhounds

Speaker 49:19 ... uh, uh, they, it's search for things, right?

Lewis Howes 49:21 Gotcha, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 49:22 It's a scent.

Lewis Howes 49:22 Uh-huh.

Speaker 49:22 Right?

Lewis Howes 49:23 Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Speaker 49:24 Uh, you know, that's what they do for rescue missions, right?

Lewis Howes 49:26 Yes, yes.

Speaker 49:27 Uh, exactly. Uh, so what I mean by that is that if you're able to embed your intention, that activates the salience network, which is the bloodhound, and the analogy is as follows. I'm sure you have been to parties, and they're loud.

Lewis Howes 49:44 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 49:44 And your name will be mentioned, and you'll immediately turn even though it's in the loud.

Lewis Howes 49:48 Yeah, you're like, "Where, where is this?" Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 49:49 Yeah, but that's because your identity is deeply embedded within you, right?

Lewis Howes 49:54 Interesting. Yes.

Speaker 49:55 So when you do this in terms of an intention, and I'll give a, a recent example, uh, I'm working on a new project, and I was at a coffee shop. And again, loud, everybody talking, but I heard somebody specifically talk about the project type of the thing I'm doing.

Lewis Howes 50:13 Uh-huh.

Speaker 50:13 So I got up and introduced myself. We connected, and that's how it works because it creates these synchronicities because it's always turned on, listening for opportunities-

Lewis Howes 50:24 Mm-hmm

Speaker 50:24 ... how it can make your intention happen.

Lewis Howes 50:28 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 50:28 And a- another example is as a neurosurgeon, you know, I would see patients, uh, as an example, let's say somebody with hydrocephalus, right? And most people don't know about that, and they'd go, "Oh my God, I've never heard of that before. Is that rare?" Well, it's not that rare, and obviously, if you're seeing a neurosurgeon, it's not rare to us. But, but what will happen is I'll see them in a few months, and they'll come in. They, "The most amazing thing happened. I've run into five people with the exact same thing," right?

Lewis Howes 50:54 [laughs] Right, right, right.

Speaker 50:54 Because they have embedded that.

Lewis Howes 50:56 Interesting.

Speaker 50:57 Uh, and so they're attuned to it, and suddenly it's like it's everywhere suddenly. Yeah.

Lewis Howes 51:03 Yeah. You, you talk about synchronicities in the book. How important is finding and looking for synchronicities when it comes to manifesting?

Speaker 51:15 Well, I think if you do it correctly, they naturally occur over and over again.

Lewis Howes 51:18 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Speaker 51:19 And you may think they're shocking and, uh, how did that happen, but that's because you have made your intention salient. It has grasped your attention network, and it is solely focused on having that happen. And once that process occurs, then you engage your executive cono- control network to actually then respond to it.

Lewis Howes 51:41 Interesting. So you set your intention for what you wanna create or desire, and then your attention starts to focus on that in the world, in your environment, and you start to see where the synchronicities line up. And then even you mentioned this thing called the filing clerk, right?

Speaker 51:56 Yes. Yes, exactly. And that relates in some ways... First of all, one of the process which we talked about, you know, having the ability on a conscious level to embed your intention, that is to, um, we call it value tag.

Lewis Howes 52:11 Uh-huh.

Speaker 52:12 Right?

Lewis Howes 52:12 Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Speaker 52:13 Which makes it important.

Lewis Howes 52:14 Uh, rather than intention.

Speaker 52:15 Yes.

Lewis Howes 52:16 Yes.

Speaker 52:16 Yes. And so once you value tag that, that becomes important in your subconscious, and then the networks start working together to have-

Lewis Howes 52:24 To look for it.

Speaker 52:24 Yes. Now, what I will emphasize, and I don't want to, you know, completely poo-poo every article that's been written about manifesting. You know, I mentioned the issues I have with The Secret or other these self-serving narratives.

Lewis Howes 52:39 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 52:39 But the reality is we know that, uh, what fire, uh, what wires together, fires together.

Lewis Howes 52:47 Fires together, yes.

Speaker 52:48 And my point about that is, number one, you have to work. This isn't like, "Oh, I thought of it, therefore it should happen." It's like anything, and we talked about it earlier. Uh, you know, there's... Everybody's manifesting every day. They just do it very ef- inefficiently, right?

Lewis Howes 53:03 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 53:03 So when you do it efficiently, uh, all of these things, you know, come together to have it happen. This is why, uh, as an example, what this woman in the magic shop did, and this was before, you know, uh, these ideas sort of were out there. She made me write my list of things I wanted to manifest down because, again, when you use every sensory organ-

Lewis Howes 53:31 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Speaker 53:31 ... then, again, you're engaging all of these different things that go into your subconscious. So you write it down. You read it silently. You read it aloud. You look at it. You visualize, and this is what athletes do. They visualize how it's going to play out. They see themselves in that role, and the more and more you do that, the stronger that wiring-

Lewis Howes 53:56 Hmm

Speaker 53:56 ... gets in your brain, and therefore that increases the chance, uh, uh, of it happening.

Lewis Howes 54:02 Interesting. So she taught you this. You wrote it down, and you started doing these processes.

Speaker 54:07 Oh, I would, uh, really do this, like, tens of, maybe hundreds of times a day-

Lewis Howes 54:14 Wow

Speaker 54:14 ... over and over and over again.

Lewis Howes 54:16 But it took you a while until you were able... from 12 until you were able to get, you know, a million dollars in the bank and the mansion and the Ferrari. It didn't happen in four years, I'm assuming. It probably took 15 or

Lewis Howes 54:27 20 years.

Speaker 54:27 Well, sure, but there was a whole process, right?

Lewis Howes 54:29 Yes.

Speaker 54:29 Because first of all, I had decided to be a doctor in fourth grade.

Lewis Howes 54:33 Right, right.

Speaker 54:34 And this was based on a, a, a professions day where a doctor came to our class, and I was so impressed by this person that that second I decided to be a doctor because he was kind, he was thoughtful. He answered my question. He appeared interested in what I had to say. And, uh, uh, so saying if you're poor and you don't have resources, saying, "I'm gonna be a doctor," is easier said than done.

Lewis Howes 54:59 Sure.

Speaker 55:00 And in fact, I did have challenges, but I'll tell you a couple stories, though, that tells you how the system works even though you haven't done all the typical things to make it work.

Lewis Howes 55:14 Okay.

Speaker 55:14 And so, uh, I'll tell you how I got into medical school and how I got into college. I was so clueless about college, even though I said I was gonna go to college. I was in a science class, and there was a girl sitting next to me, and she was filling out her college application. I had no clue about that.

Lewis Howes 55:34 That you had to apply or-

Speaker 55:36 Yeah. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 55:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 55:36 I, I was sort of waiting till like it was supposed to happen. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 55:39 Sure, sure.

Speaker 55:40 So, uh, uh, I looked at this girl, and I asked her what she was doing. She says, "Well, I'm applying to college, and this is the application." I said, "Really?" And she looks at me, she said, "Yeah." And, uh, I s- said, "Well, where are you applying to?" And she said, "UC Irvine." And she looked at me, and she said, "Where are you applying?" I said, "UC Irvine." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 55:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the process.

Speaker 56:00 And I said, "I, I haven't got my application yet." She said, "I have an extra one."

Lewis Howes 56:04 Wow.

Speaker 56:05 Right.

Lewis Howes 56:05 There you go, and then-

Speaker 56:05 Yeah, and I filled that out, and, you know, I, I got in. Uh, uh, but, uh-

Lewis Howes 56:11 Isn't that interesting before you go on there because, you know, you were given the opportunity that you, you saw that was in front of you. You didn't think beyond other schools. You saw something. You didn't know another process, said, "Yeah, I'm gonna go there as well," and she said, "Here's the application." You filled it out, you got in, and you went there, right?

Speaker 56:29 Yeah, no, and- and that's my point is-

Lewis Howes 56:31 Yeah

Speaker 56:31 ... it was in there. I didn't know how it was gonna play out.

Lewis Howes 56:34 Yes.

Speaker 56:34 But it played out, and it certainly wasn't the typical way it would play out.

Lewis Howes 56:38 Process. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 56:39 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 56:39 Exactly.

Speaker 56:40 So then what happened is, you know, I had a lot of struggles. I had to leave college multiple times, as an example, to get my father out of jail-

Lewis Howes 56:47 Wow

Speaker 56:47 ... or to deal with my mother, who attempted suicide, which are not pleasant things to have to go through.

Lewis Howes 56:53 No, not enjoyable.

Speaker 56:53 And so when I applied to medical school, the average GPA to get into medical school was 3.79 at that time, which is, you know, out of 4. That's like an A minus, right?

Lewis Howes 57:03 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 57:04 My GPA then was 2.53.

Lewis Howes 57:07 Wow.

Speaker 57:07 And I was not gonna-

Lewis Howes 57:07 You and me both.

Speaker 57:08 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 57:08 Let's go. [laughs]

Speaker 57:09 Yeah. And I was not gonna graduate from college.

Lewis Howes 57:12 Right.

Speaker 57:12 And so I went to the pre-med... And, and of course, as you know, when you have all these, quote unquote, friends and you say, "I wanna be a doctor," and, you know, many of my friends were pre-med, and they were the type of pre-meds who had 3.75.

Lewis Howes 57:26 Sure, sure.

Speaker 57:27 And, you know, I- it was very hurtful because they said, "You're never gonna be a doctor. That GPA, what a joke," right? Which, you know, this is your dream, right?

Lewis Howes 57:36 It's painful.

Speaker 57:38 So anyway, I went to... We used to have to, or you used to have to have an interview with the pre-med committee, so you had to go get an appointment, and then they would write a letter of recommendation for you. So I went to the office. I asked the secretary, I said, "I wanna make an appointment for my, uh, pre-med letter."

Lewis Howes 57:55 Yes.

Speaker 57:56 She looked at me, she said, "I, uh, I'm not gonna give you an appointment." I said, "Well, why?" You know, she had pulled out my file, and she said, "Because it's a waste of everyone's time."

Lewis Howes 58:04 Oh, man.

Speaker 58:06 Now, can you imagine [laughs] a human being telling you that you're a waste of their time?

Lewis Howes 58:11 Wow.

Speaker 58:12 I mean, how hurtful.

Lewis Howes 58:13 Very.

Speaker 58:14 But I looked at the woman, and I said, "You know, I appreciate what you're saying," but I said, "I am not leaving here until you give me that appointment."

Lewis Howes 58:23 Wow.

Speaker 58:24 I said, "If you wanna call security, that's fine, but I am not leaving." So she did. But imagine, um, so it comes time for my appointment. Now, uh, do you remember these photos we've seen of Putin sitting at one end of a table? He's by himself with these two-

Lewis Howes 58:38 Yes, yes

Speaker 58:38 ... [laughs] So I go into this room, and I'm at one end of this long table, and, you know, I'm, what, 20 years old maybe. And then there are these three people at the other end of the table. And, uh, uh, the guy in the middle, he has my file, and he looks at me, he says... He takes the file, looks at it, throws it on the table, and he says, "Say what you have to say so we can get this over with."

Lewis Howes 58:58 Really?

Speaker 58:59 Oh, yeah.

Lewis Howes 58:59 Oh my goodness.

Speaker 59:00 [laughs] And you, you sit there, and, you know, how intimidating, and what a jerk, right? So what happened is I looked at the guy, and I said, "I am not going to let you, uh, turn me into a grade point average. I'm a human being."

Lewis Howes 59:18 Wow.

Speaker 59:19 So I proceeded to lecture them for about 20 minutes.

Lewis Howes 59:23 Oh my goodness.

Speaker 59:24 They were all crying at the end, okay? Because once you show your humanity, they can't turn away from you. They can't objectify you if you're right there in front of them and force them to look at you.

Lewis Howes 59:36 Wow.

Speaker 59:37 And so what happened is they ended up actually giving me the highest letter of recommendation.

Lewis Howes 59:42 Wow.

Speaker 59:43 And, uh, as I was leaving, that secretary actually was in the room. She said, "Listen, I want you to take this." And it was a tri-fold, uh, brochure for a summer enrichment program at Tulane University in New Orleans for socioeconomically disadvantaged students and minority students. And she looked at me, and she said, "You know, I have to tell you something, though. The deadline has passed, but I don't think that will impact you." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:00:09 Wow. Right, right, right. [laughs]

Speaker 1:00:11 So I called the lady, and she let me into the program. Uh, and I applied to one medical school and got into one medical school.

Lewis Howes 1:00:20 Wow.

Speaker 1:00:20 And I didn't have a degree.

Lewis Howes 1:00:22 Wow.

Speaker 1:00:22 Now, to show you, though, the importance of this is that, um, after Hurricane Katrina, the dean of the medical school, uh, went into a depression and resigned, okay? And so they were looking for a new dean.

Lewis Howes 1:00:41 At Tulane.

Speaker 1:00:42 At Tulane.

Lewis Howes 1:00:42 Yeah.

Speaker 1:00:43 And they had a guy from Harvard, but he wanted an endowed chair. And I don't know if, uh, you're familiar with an endowed chair.

Lewis Howes 1:00:48 No.

Speaker 1:00:48 So an endowed chair is a private donor donates a lot of money, and it is a chair named after that person. It's one of the highest honors in academic medicine-

Lewis Howes 1:00:59 Okay

Speaker 1:00:59 ... or in, in the university. And the m- the, that money is, is made into an endowment, so then the professor then gets to use it for whatever they want.

Lewis Howes 1:01:08 Interesting.

Speaker 1:01:08 So it's a very prestigious thing. So I actually ended up endowing the dean's chair You know, fast-forward many years, right?

Lewis Howes 1:01:17 Sure, sure. Wow.

Speaker 1:01:18 Yeah, which was several million dollars.

Lewis Howes 1:01:20 Interesting.

Speaker 1:01:21 So still at Tulane, the dean of the medical school is the Doty Professor.

Lewis Howes 1:01:25 Wow.

Speaker 1:01:26 I rebuilt the library after Hurricane Katrina. And so the point of the story is no one has the ability to tell you what you can and cannot do. And in theory, by every quote, "criteria," I should never have gotten into medical school, right? Yet I'm one of the largest donors to the medical school, and in fact, they're actually, uh, building a Doty Center for Compassion and Medicine-

Lewis Howes 1:01:56 Wow

Speaker 1:01:56 ... at, uh, at Tulane.

Lewis Howes 1:01:57 That's cool.

Speaker 1:01:58 Yeah. So when we think that things are impossible, when we think that it can't happen, or I don't have the criteria that... Or is usually, don't ever believe anything anyone tells you.

Lewis Howes 1:02:12 Mm.

Speaker 1:02:12 If I believed what so many people told me was not possible for me to do, I would never have accomplished anything.

Lewis Howes 1:02:20 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:02:21 And again, it gets back to this limiting your beliefs. Once you unleash this understanding of the power you have, then you can do almost anything.

Lewis Howes 1:02:32 Yes.

Speaker 1:02:32 You just have to believe.

Lewis Howes 1:02:34 Absolutely. I love this story because, you know, you, you mention don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. I guess the, the, the challenge is so many people do believe what others say about them, you know? They do receive the crit- criticism or the limits that others talk about, and a lot of people hold onto those conversations and, and believe them as truth. And I... The thing is I feel like there's only one person, like you said, that can agree with the limits or disagree with those limits, and that is ourselves. And at the same time, you know, everyone can tell you you have all the skills, all the tools, all the potential, all the ability to do something great, but if you don't believe it, it's not gonna matter as much. Even if everyone in the world has said, "We believe in you. You're incredible," if we are limiting ourselves from receiving those words and receiving that understanding and identity, we won't accomplish what we want, or we won't create the lives we want. So how do we overcome ourselves, uh, from the conversations and the critics in our own mind, and also the conversations from others, whether they're positive or negative? How do we overcome it and believe we are capable?

Speaker 1:03:55 Well, first off, I, I would say that a lot of people... You'll hear, let's say, a statement I made, and they'll sit there and go, "Okay, I'm gonna do this tomorrow. I'm gonna do everything. Okay, I'm gonna get into shape, and I'm gonna run 10 miles, and then I'm going to study for this."

Lewis Howes 1:04:07 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1:04:08 And the problem is that's the worst thing you can do. And in fact, uh, I'm sure you probably know BJ Fogg, who wrote this book, Tiny Habits.

Lewis Howes 1:04:16 Yeah.

Speaker 1:04:16 But he and I were having a conversation recently. You have to start slow, okay? Pick one simple thing to show that you have the power.

Lewis Howes 1:04:25 Mm.

Speaker 1:04:26 Right? And it could be something as simple as I'm gonna get up at 6:00 in the morning and walk around the block, and you just do that. Because what happens is now you're changing your belief system. You're saying, "I set this goal, and I was able to do it, and I do it every day now."

Lewis Howes 1:04:44 Right.

Speaker 1:04:44 Then it can be a little longer and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera until suddenly you're running a marathon when before you could barely get up and walk around the block, and I think that's really the key is start small, congratulate yourself for small wins, and accept that. And then let that sink in, and then just do another thing. And it's a slow process. Nothing happens overnight. And again, if you think, "Well, it's gonna happen, and it's all gonna be perfect tomorrow," that's not how it works. And, you know, obviously in my own life, you know, this has taken decades. And, you know, I think hopefully what this book does, though, it allows you to see the world in a different way, to use the techniques that are outlined there to not have to go through the pain and suffering-

Lewis Howes 1:05:35 Right

Speaker 1:05:35 ... that I and others, uh, have gone through. And it gives you some insights, some tools. And again, and I'm sure you've experienced, you'll get, like, a book sometimes and go, "That is what I was missing."

Lewis Howes 1:05:49 Yes.

Speaker 1:05:50 "This is what, uh, you know, I need." And what I've tried to do is both by showing you the science behind it but also intertwining stories like I mentioned the one about Jim Carrey. And I've also included actually individuals who I have interacted with in my own life who've had these profound changes based on having a different perception of who they are and the power they have.

Lewis Howes 1:06:15 Yes. There's a part in the book where you talked about tapping into flow states.

Lewis Howes 1:06:21 I think you even said, like, the placebo-

Speaker 1:06:24 Yes, and hypnosis

Lewis Howes 1:06:25 ... and something else, and hypnosis. So how do we tap into flow states, placebo effect, and hypnosis to start to manifest better?

Speaker 1:06:34 So one of the points of those examples is to show that actually very simply you can get there without anything.

Lewis Howes 1:06:44 Mm.

Speaker 1:06:44 Right? I mean, hypnosis you can, uh... And you can do self-hypnosis, of course, but you... I'm sure most of the listeners are thinking of the guy who comes and he goes like this, right?

Lewis Howes 1:06:53 Yes. Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Speaker 1:06:54 Right? But that is how fast if you train yourself to get access... And I talk about, uh, monks-

Lewis Howes 1:07:01 Interesting. Mm

Speaker 1:07:01 ... and I talk about Wim Hof.

Lewis Howes 1:07:03 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:07:03 You know, these people a- access the power they have within, and it takes practice and diligence.

Lewis Howes 1:07:10 Yes.

Speaker 1:07:10 But the same processes are similar to hypnosis and, uh, the placebo effect. And the interesting thing about the placebo effect is that you can even know- It's a placebo and it will still have the same effect

Lewis Howes 1:07:24 And it still gets results.

Speaker 1:07:25 Yes, yes. And so, and also if you think about exercising a particular muscle group, you- your muscles will increase without you doing anything.

Lewis Howes 1:07:37 Wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 1:07:38 You see, but this is the power because the brain doesn't know the difference between what you're thinking and reality, right? So if you embed it in there... Now, that's not to say your muscles are gonna get as big as a, you know, a, a, an Olympic weightlifter, but it, they do increase in, in mass. And so getting axed to this, uh, access to these things within you that you don't appreciate is very, very powerful. And you talked about the flow state. You know, this is the state of being where everything aligns, right?

Lewis Howes 1:08:05 Yes.

Speaker 1:08:06 And that's where we wanna be. We're, we're not paying attention to time. We're not paying attention to extern- e- externalities. We're just doing it. Now, again, you don't want it to turn into I've ignored everything in my life to get to that goal, but you wanna live in a, in a way in which things naturally come and you're living it, and it's a process that's all working together for you to manifest your goals.

Lewis Howes 1:08:29 Wow, that's beautiful. Um, what is the most recent research about the placebo and how can we use that science or data to impact our lives positively?

Speaker 1:08:42 Well, again, it [laughs] and the weird thing about it is you don't even have to believe it and it will happen.

Lewis Howes 1:08:47 Wow.

Speaker 1:08:48 Uh, uh, uh. Now [laughs] if you, if you believe it's the real thing, it'll probably be more powerful.

Lewis Howes 1:08:55 Even better. Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Speaker 1:08:57 Uh, but, uh, but again, it's embedding this belief into your head and, and that, and you know, there's a six-week program in the book, but it gives you a step-by-step way to do that. And again, uh, it's not one and done. You have to do the work. You know, uh, although I say the universe doesn't give a [censored] about you, I also would say God only helps those who help themselves, right? And, uh, uh, and you know, when I make that statement, at the end of the book, basically my statement is you are the universe, right? You are the power that decides. And again, it's understanding how much power you have within yourself. You know, there's a, a, um, we're talking about people getting stuck in things. Uh, you know, sometimes you cannot predict what's gonna happen to you, but there's this attitude, it- it's called, uh, dispositional optimism. I don't know if you recall reading that. But it's understanding that things don't work on our timeline.

Lewis Howes 1:09:59 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:10:00 And having a constant state of an optimistic view of the world, again, that aligns you because it keeps you in this constant state of engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system.

Lewis Howes 1:10:11 Hmm.

Speaker 1:10:11 And again, if you can live in that state and look through the world through that lens, your physiology is going to be at its best, your longevity is going to be increased. You're going to be much happier in terms of, of, uh, purpose and meaning in your life. You know, nothing I c- or at least I can't imagine nothing worse than, you know, being a crotchety old man still chasing, uh, 20-year-old women-

Lewis Howes 1:10:41 Right

Speaker 1:10:41 ... uh, having three or four Ferraris. And, uh, actually it reminds me, I'll tell you a funny story. I was, uh, um, in Aspen giving a talk and one of the benefactors was an 80-year-old fellow, a widower who survived the Holocaust.

Lewis Howes 1:10:59 Wow.

Speaker 1:11:00 And, uh, so he invites everyone up to his house. So, you know, you pull up to this huge mansion that's, you know, 20, 30 million dollars.

Lewis Howes 1:11:09 Right. In Aspen.

Speaker 1:11:10 In Aspen.

Lewis Howes 1:11:10 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:11:11 You know, one of his multiple-

Lewis Howes 1:11:13 Sure

Speaker 1:11:13 ... so I go in there and, you know, I've been one of the main speakers. So he comes up to me and starts talking and, uh, you know, he looks at my watch and he says, "See this?" He points to his watch. "Million dollars."

Lewis Howes 1:11:28 Jeez.

Speaker 1:11:29 And I'm like [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:11:30 Who cares?

Speaker 1:11:30 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:11:31 Yeah, yeah, who cares?

Speaker 1:11:32 And he says, "Come here." And I said, "Okay." So he takes me out to his garage and again-

Lewis Howes 1:11:37 Tons of cars

Speaker 1:11:37 ...

Lewis Howes 1:11:37 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:11:39 And, uh, uh, I'm looking at him and then he starts saying, "You know, I've, I've never been happy." And, uh, I said, "Okay." And he goes, you know, he tells me about actually his tragic Holocaust experience and how he, you know, married this woman but he was never in love or passionate, et cetera, et cetera. He said, "You know, I'm miserable. I'd do anything to be happy."

Lewis Howes 1:12:02 Wow.

Speaker 1:12:02 Okay. And I said, "Okay." And he says, "Can you do anything for me?" And I said, "Yeah, I can." I said, "If you spend 10 hours with me, I will give you that gift."

Lewis Howes 1:12:14 Hmm.

Speaker 1:12:16 So he says, "Really?" And I say, "Yeah." He says, "Well, how much will it cost?" And I said, "It'll cost $100,000 an hour." Okay. He looks at me and says, "500,000." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:12:30 An hour or total?

Speaker 1:12:31 No, total.

Lewis Howes 1:12:31 Half.

Speaker 1:12:31 Well, it, it was... Yeah, it was-

Lewis Howes 1:12:33 One half. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:12:33 Yeah. And I said, "No, it doesn't work that way."

Lewis Howes 1:12:35 No, yeah.

Speaker 1:12:36 "It's a million dollars and I'm guaranteeing you, guaranteeing you."

Lewis Howes 1:12:41 Wow.

Speaker 1:12:42 And, and, uh, so his, his, uh, daughter is there and she overhears our talk and she comes over and she says, "Papa, you know, this is like a neuroscientist. He studies this. You should do this." And, uh, he looks at her and he says, "Foolish girl, you don't know anything about money." And he says, "I, I have to save this money for you." And she looks at him, she goes, "I have everything I need. I don't need anything." And she goes, "Do it." And he goes, "No, no, no. You're, you're foolish." And my point is h- here was an opportunity for him to learn something, to get what he said he absolutely wanted, yet his own selfish self-interest and drive-

Lewis Howes 1:13:26 Wow

Speaker 1:13:27 ... overpowered anything To actually give him what he wanted

Lewis Howes 1:13:32 Wow. Interesting.

Speaker 1:13:34 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:13:34 Yeah, h- well, he had a belief. He had an identity around what he thought he needed to hold onto, which was more money.

Speaker 1:13:41 Yeah, yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:13:42 And-

Speaker 1:13:42 And, and, but that was what always was making him happy or unhappy his whole life

Lewis Howes 1:13:47 Yes, exactly. But it gave him a sense of false security or status or influence or power or something.

Speaker 1:13:53 Well, unfortunately, though, uh, you know, there are people like that, but the reality is all the people around them are laughing at them.

Lewis Howes 1:14:00 Yeah, and then they're, they're making he... They are making the people around them more miserable, probably.

Speaker 1:14:05 Oh, yeah. Be- well, because they have to win, right? A million dollars, you know.

Lewis Howes 1:14:09 Wow. Have to one-up everyone else.

Speaker 1:14:10 Yeah, be- yeah, and that's a very classic thing. In fact, uh, I'm not being critical of Warren Buffett, but you know, I mean, you... There's a story that his wife wrote that said, you know, he was never interested in the money. He was interested in winning.

Lewis Howes 1:14:24 Mm. The game.

Speaker 1:14:25 The game.

Lewis Howes 1:14:25 Yeah, the game of winning. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:14:27 Right, right, and you know, uh, uh, it's not always about winning sometimes. It's about caring for others, uh, understanding people, being of service. You know, imagine somebody who has that degree of wealth, what he could have done to, let's say, uh, fund an orphanage or, uh, help the people who can't afford food in Aspen.

Lewis Howes 1:14:49 Right.

Speaker 1:14:49 Right? And, and, and it would've been a minuscule amount.

Lewis Howes 1:14:53 So small compared to what he actually had.

Speaker 1:14:55 Yeah, yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:14:55 Yeah. Wow. This idea of identity,

Lewis Howes 1:14:58 um, you know, we start to build our identity as children, in our teens, in our 20s. How, how do we start to identify what our identity actually is and how it is empowering us or disempowering us in this pursuit of manifesting?

Speaker 1:15:15 Well, the problem is for many people is that they have bonding and attachment issues, uh, that, uh, have been imprinted on them.

Lewis Howes 1:15:26 Yeah.

Speaker 1:15:27 And they-

Lewis Howes 1:15:27 Anxious, or anxious or avoidant attached-

Speaker 1:15:30 Yes

Lewis Howes 1:15:30 ... or yeah.

Speaker 1:15:31 Yeah, and so they don't appreciate... Uh, you know, look, when you're growing up and, you know, seven or eight years old, you're not, uh, understanding this.

Lewis Howes 1:15:39 Yes.

Speaker 1:15:39 But these types of connections, uh, you know, they get deeply embedded, and, and you carry it with you. And so one is you have to make the effort to understand. As an example, I'm sure some of the listeners go, "Oh, well, now I have a little idea because I keep choosing this jerk to have-

Lewis Howes 1:15:56 Yes

Speaker 1:15:56 ... to be a partner with."

Lewis Howes 1:15:57 Yes.

Speaker 1:15:58 "But why do I do that?" And you have to sort of go backwards and-

Lewis Howes 1:16:01 And self-reflect and yeah.

Speaker 1:16:02 Yeah, yeah. Uh, you know, I was giving a talk one time, and there was a woman, she raised her hand. We were talking about this exact issue, and she started crying. And she said, "My father, when I was a kid, told me I would be nothing." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:16:20 Wow.

Speaker 1:16:21 Right.

Lewis Howes 1:16:22 So sad.

Speaker 1:16:23 Yeah, it's horrible. And, and this is what people need to understand. Words matter to children. And so the woman said, "You know, I... My whole life I've spent trying to be something."

Lewis Howes 1:16:35 Wow.

Speaker 1:16:37 You know, she said, "I became a nurse. I got a PhD." You know, she's a senior executive at a hospital chain, right? She's doing extraordinarily well, and her whole life has been trying to overcome that baggage. And imagine the difference, though, if her father said, "You know, you are amazing. You can do anything you want. I am so proud of you."

Lewis Howes 1:17:01 Mm.

Speaker 1:17:01 "I envision you doing incredible things." And how the 30 years of her life or whatever it's been, 40 years, would have been one of love and connection and feeling worthy versus every day waking up, being s- repeating, "I was told I would be nothing."

Lewis Howes 1:17:20 Wow.

Speaker 1:17:21 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:17:22 I guess there's a, there's a question within that is if you are given all the love and empowering affirmations and words from your parents that you can do and be what you wanna be versus you don't have what it takes, you're never gonna amount to anything, you disappoint me, you need to do better, which one drives the person to create b- bigger or better results or impact? You know, 'cause she has lived a life of impact, but it's from a place of lack, right?

Speaker 1:17:56 Sure.

Lewis Howes 1:17:57 Would she be as driven to grow and expand and reach beyond what she felt she was capable of if she had all the love in the world? I guess that's the, the question.

Speaker 1:18:07 Well, uh, of course, in that case, we can't specifically answer that, but, uh, yeah, there's no question that... You know, I used to have a coach when I was a rower in crew.

Lewis Howes 1:18:17 Okay.

Speaker 1:18:17 And I used to have a coach who would just scream at me all day.

Lewis Howes 1:18:20 Oh, that's the worst.

Speaker 1:18:21 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:18:21 It's the worst.

Speaker 1:18:22 Well, and it's exactly what we're-

Lewis Howes 1:18:24 I had that in football, too.

Speaker 1:18:24 Yeah, that's exactly-

Lewis Howes 1:18:24 Yeah, it was the worst

Speaker 1:18:24 ... what we're talking. Did that make you strive and work harder? It just made you feel like the guy's a jerk.

Lewis Howes 1:18:30 Yeah.

Speaker 1:18:30 I hate the guy.

Lewis Howes 1:18:32 I was living in fear too.

Speaker 1:18:32 I'll do what I have... Yes.

Lewis Howes 1:18:33 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:18:33 Yes, and, and versus then I had a different coach.

Lewis Howes 1:18:37 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1:18:38 The new coach was an extraordinary human being, one you would model yourself after. He won the gold, uh, medal in the double sculls in Melbourne in '52, I think it was. And, uh, you know, he was like, "Listen, y- you know, you need to work on this, but I know when you do this, it's... You're gonna excel here. You know, you're doing an amazing job. I can just tell you're really into this. I'm so proud of you." Right? [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:19:03 It's more fun, too.

Speaker 1:19:05 Yeah, of course. So can you get a similar result? Yeah, but it's like, uh, uh, you know, somebody putting a backpack that keeps stabbing you in the back your whole life, saying, "Get going, get going," versus somebody who's hugging you and embracing you-

Lewis Howes 1:19:19 Yeah

Speaker 1:19:19 ... and telling you how much they love you. Yes, uh, you can do incredible results from horribly mean people, but that's not a long-term strategy.

Lewis Howes 1:19:28 Yeah, and it's not a, a healthy life.

Speaker 1:19:31 No.

Lewis Howes 1:19:31 You know, there's probably a lot of stress and anxiety and chronic pain that you're carrying ... with that energy, with that vibration, which you talk about-

Speaker 1:19:39 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:19:39 ... in the book, the vibration. And when we can get into flow state, we're able to c- to really create more abundance and, and in a harmonious way.

Speaker 1:19:49 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 1:19:49 Not in a hard way of grinding constantly to accomplish and then feel exhausted when we get to the top.

Speaker 1:19:55 Yeah, and so then, you know, instead of having accomplished m- and going, "That son of a bitch, I showed you," you're sitting there, "God, I, I'm happy to have c- God, it felt so good and I- I'm just so happy I was able to do this." It's a completely different way and I th- I would hope that people want the other way where it's one of positivity and-

Lewis Howes 1:20:15 Yes

Speaker 1:20:15 ... encouragement, not, uh, somebody driving you. And this is one of the problems in corporate America, right? You have, uh, bosses who think that creating fear motivates, and it does on some level to a point. You know, there's a great story about a fellow... What was his name? Carnes. I can't remember his, uh... I think it was Jeffrey Carnes. He was an Australian. But he, uh, gives an example which is quite interesting. He said, "We did a 360 review in our company."

Lewis Howes 1:20:45 Oh.

Speaker 1:20:45 I'm sure you're familiar with that, right?

Lewis Howes 1:20:46 Sure.

Speaker 1:20:47 They checked out everybody. He said, "You know, they came to me to share the results with me." He's telling his wife this. He said, "They came to share the results with me. They told me in their entire history of doing this, I was the worst CEO-

Lewis Howes 1:21:02 Wow

Speaker 1:21:03 ... they had ever met."

Lewis Howes 1:21:04 Wow. [laughs]

Speaker 1:21:06 And he said, "My, you know, they told me my employees fear me, and, uh, that I, I was creating an environment that was unhealthy," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he says this to his... So he said this to his wife, and she go, uh, he says to her, "So, so what do you think of that? Can you believe that? I'm thinking of firing them." And she goes, "Why would you do that? They're absolutely correct." And he goes, "What?" And she said, "I have been telling you this for 20 years-

Lewis Howes 1:21:30 Wow

Speaker 1:21:30 ... and you have not listened to me."

Lewis Howes 1:21:32 Wow.

Speaker 1:21:33 Said, "You need to sit back and reflect on this." So he went through a two-year analysis with therapy, and actually ended up, uh, meeting a Buddhist monk.

Lewis Howes 1:21:46 Mm.

Speaker 1:21:47 And got into a meditation practice. So they did a reevaluation a few years later, and now, uh, you know, they had, like, one of the highest retention rates, one of the highest productivity rates, one of the highest shareholder value from, uh, uh, leading through compassion, thoughtfulness, kindness-

Lewis Howes 1:22:06 Mm-hmm

Speaker 1:22:06 ... as a motivator versus fear as a motivator.

Lewis Howes 1:22:09 Wow. That's beautiful. One of the things you, you know, you give this six-step process, and one of the things, uh, in, in step six, it's about releasing these expectations and being open to magic, being open to the wonders, the mysteries of the world, uh, when things will come to you. Maybe it's different than what you originally wanted, all these different things. Why is it important to manifest by not being attached to the results that you desire and being open to magic at the same time?

Speaker 1:22:42 You know, one of the challenges is that, and it gets back to attachment-

Lewis Howes 1:22:46 Mm-hmm

Speaker 1:22:46 ... uh, because once you are attached to something, you have a vision of how it has to be.

Lewis Howes 1:22:52 Right.

Speaker 1:22:54 And then that creates, uh, potential disappointment.

Lewis Howes 1:22:57 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:22:58 And the nature of manifesting is it doesn't turn out exactly the way you want, because what you may not appreciate is that there are other factors which are competing here.

Lewis Howes 1:23:10 Mm.

Speaker 1:23:11 And sometimes you may not appreciate it, but on an unconscious level, the right decision is being made. On a conscious level, it's not what you thought it was, and therefore, you resist it.

Lewis Howes 1:23:25 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1:23:26 And, uh, that creates unhappiness.

Lewis Howes 1:23:28 Yes.

Speaker 1:23:29 The other thing is the same as having a timeline. Like, it has to happen by this date. It doesn't work that way. As an example, I have been planning a World Compassion Festival, which is a huge event, right, for 13 years. Do I... Am I disappointed? No. It-

Lewis Howes 1:23:48 It hasn't happened yet.

Speaker 1:23:49 It hasn't happened yet, but it will happen.

Lewis Howes 1:23:51 Yes.

Speaker 1:23:52 And this is also, uh, dispositional [laughs] optimism. I have an absolute belief that that will happen. And in fact, uh, I mentioned a little earlier, I was with, uh, uh, Kailash, uh, uh, Satyarthi, who's a Nobel Peace Laureate, uh, yesterday. And, uh, um, we were talking about this World Compassion Festival. It just came up. [laughs] He said, "Well, why don't we join forces and make this happen?"

Lewis Howes 1:24:20 That's cool.

Speaker 1:24:20 Right? So, you know, it's a process and it, it has not worked in any way the timeline I had imagined, but I do not, I'm not disappointed or don't believe it's going to happen. Otherwise, I would sit there and go, "I'm a failure," you know, "This should've happened 10 years ago. Why didn't it happen?" You know, "It's just like everything else I do. I'm a loser," right? Versus saying, "It will happen. It's sitting there. The things have not all come together to allow it to happen. And even if it doesn't happen the exact way I envision it, if it happens, it's an extraordinary thing." And so I think you have to look at it that way, otherwise you're creating, uh, unhappiness for yourself.

Lewis Howes 1:25:03 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1:25:04 And, and why do that? And, and again, life doesn't work that way. It's like, as an example, sitting there saying, "I'm m- I want to manifest this beautiful woman. She has these attributes," da, da, da. Then this exa- and you're visualizing her as a blonde, and then this dark-haired woman-

Lewis Howes 1:25:18 [laughs]

Speaker 1:25:18 ... comes in who has every one of those things. You go, "Oh, get out of here. You're not a blonde." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:25:22 Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah.

Speaker 1:25:25 So it doesn't always, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:25:26 That's interesting

Speaker 1:25:26 ... uh, uh, work the way you want.

Lewis Howes 1:25:28 What would you say is, uh, you know, something that

Lewis Howes 1:25:32 we should think about or do first thing in the morning to set us up for a daily rhythm of ... manifesting? Is there a mantra? Is there a process? Is there a th- a way of thinking, a way of feeling, a way of acting? Is there something we should believe right when we wake up or in the morning?

Speaker 1:25:51 Well, uh, what I do may not work for everybody.

Lewis Howes 1:25:55 Sure.

Speaker 1:25:56 And everybody has a different biology. They have a different way of seeing the world. Now, I'll tell you what I do to center me in the morning.

Lewis Howes 1:26:05 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1:26:06 And, uh, uh, uh, [sniffs] but it sets the stage to manifest, and what I mean by that is I was a- talking about having a mental state of being of service to others.

Lewis Howes 1:26:22 Right.

Speaker 1:26:23 So my practice every morning is I wake up... And I say every morning. That's a lie. It is not every morning. It's most mornings.

Lewis Howes 1:26:31 Sure.

Speaker 1:26:32 You know, it's funny. I, I don't know if you ever saw, you know, Deepak Chopra's son did a movie about him.

Lewis Howes 1:26:36 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1:26:37 And-

Lewis Howes 1:26:37 Gautam?

Speaker 1:26:38 Yes.

Lewis Howes 1:26:38 Gautam Chopra.

Speaker 1:26:39 Yeah, yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:26:39 I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:26:39 [laughs] And it showed him like, you know, that should be meditating. He goes and he's like-

Lewis Howes 1:26:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 1:26:44 ... right. [laughs] Yeah. And I know Deepak, actually. Uh, but anyway, uh, what I do is I sit up in bed and I do a breathing exercise because as you know, that will shift you over to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest mode. It makes you open. It makes you thoughtful. It makes you more creative. And then I, uh, think of the awe and joy in this world.

Lewis Howes 1:27:11 Mm.

Speaker 1:27:11 And there's a great book about awe by Dacher Keltner. I don't know if you know Dacher.

Lewis Howes 1:27:15 Yeah.

Speaker 1:27:17 Uh, but, uh, uh, yeah, so, you know, that sets the stage of this seeing the world through this lens of this incredible awe of being in this world and the, the joy of being able to interact in this world. And then I go through a 10 letter, uh, mantra, and this actually, uh, developed when I was asked to, uh, which was an incredible honor to me, by my medical school to give the White Coat Ceremony lecture to the incoming medical students.

Lewis Howes 1:27:48 Mm. Oh, that's so-

Speaker 1:27:49 So imagine the guy who should never [laughs] been a medical-

Lewis Howes 1:27:52 Right, right

Speaker 1:27:53 ... giving this very prestigious lecture.

Lewis Howes 1:27:55 Wow.

Speaker 1:27:55 But what I wanted to do was I wanted to inspire these students through something that was simple and easy to remember, but would center them in their lives going forward, not only as a doctor, but as a human being. So it was 10 letters of the alphabet. It was C, compassion for self and others; D, recognizing the dignity of every person; E, practicing equanimity, and this is this idea of evenness of temperament. You know, we were talking about chasing goals and having attachment. You know, it's great to achieve a goal. It's great to have that high that you get when you achieve it. It's, it's wonderful. It's amazing, but it's transitory.

Lewis Howes 1:28:40 Sure.

Speaker 1:28:41 And you can't live at that state all the time.

Lewis Howes 1:28:42 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:28:44 Conversely, having disappointments, having things fail, uh, losing at things, uh, as horrible and as painful as they are, uh, they're also transitory.

Lewis Howes 1:28:55 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:28:56 So having this evenness-

Lewis Howes 1:28:58 Interesting

Speaker 1:28:58 ... of temperament-

Lewis Howes 1:28:59 Yeah

Speaker 1:28:59 ... and not getting lost on the extremes is very, very important. Plus, the other thing is, if you reflect on it, what teaches you the most, it's not the highs.

Lewis Howes 1:29:08 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:29:09 It's the disappointments, the challenges, the things you've had to overcome, and that makes you who you are-

Lewis Howes 1:29:15 Yes

Speaker 1:29:15 ... and creates resilience. And so somehow thinking you're going to avoid those, number one, it's not healthy, but that's where so much teaching comes from. The other, of course, is forgiveness, and, uh, we know that when you carry emotions attached to an event or to a person, every time you think of that event or that person-

Lewis Howes 1:29:37 Mm

Speaker 1:29:38 ... it negatively affects you.

Lewis Howes 1:29:40 Interesting.

Speaker 1:29:41 So when you're able to not carry that baggage and release it, and that's not to forget what somebody did to you or that, it's just to understand that carrying those memories is not healthy for you, then you're released again. And of course, one of the most powerful things, and I think it's really important, is having gratitude, and there's an immense amount of research that demonstrates having a gratitude journal or in the evenings writing three things that you are thankful for because what people forget is... In fact, probably everyone listening to this podcast, you don't appreciate that half of the world's population lives on less than $2.50 a day.

Lewis Howes 1:30:22 Crazy, isn't it?

Speaker 1:30:23 It's horrible, and when you look at your life, uh, you are actually blessed. It's funny. As a neurosurgeon, you know, I've had situations where, let's say, somebody'll, uh, have an accident and become paraplegic, and of course, they say, "This is horrible. My life is ruined." I say, "Look, I'm gonna take you in the room next door with the guy who's a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic."

Lewis Howes 1:30:46 Can't move anything.

Speaker 1:30:47 Yes, and is on a breathing tube and nothing. And then they say, "Oh." Right? So-

Lewis Howes 1:30:55 It's about perspective.

Speaker 1:30:56 It's about perspective.

Lewis Howes 1:30:57 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:30:57 And this is the thing is you have the choice of the h- the perspective you look at the world through.

Lewis Howes 1:31:02 Yes.

Speaker 1:31:03 Um, let's see. We were at gratitude. H, humility. Now, I will assure you for a neurosurgeon, humility is one of the cha- [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:31:11 [laughs]

Speaker 1:31:13 Uh, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:31:13 You gotta stay humble when you think you got, you know.

Speaker 1:31:16 Yeah. Uh, uh, exactly. Well, you know, being a neurosurgeon is still one of the, uh, uh, professions in medicine that's still nominally highly respected. But anyway, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:31:26 [laughs]

Speaker 1:31:26 ... humility, understanding you're no more important than anyone else. And, uh, uh, I is integrity and values that bound your behavior and are, if you wanna call them, rules to live by. J is a recognition of justice, meaning that we have a responsibility for caring for those who are vulnerable. Uh, K is, uh, simply being kind to others. It has nothing to do with suffering. Compassion has by definition a recognition of suffering with a motivational desire to alleviate that. So kindness is simply just being a good person. And of course, what contains all of this, and that's, uh, love

Lewis Howes 1:32:10 Mm. That's good

Speaker 1:32:11 Uh, so, uh, that was my part of my, uh, lecture for my, uh, the white coat ceremony.

Lewis Howes 1:32:17 That's beautiful

Speaker 1:32:17 And that's the, what I use every day of my own life. Now, I'll tell you an interesting story about that. I gave that lecture, and a month or two later, uh... And I think it was put on YouTube or something. But a month or two later, a woman reached out to me and she said, "Uh, uh, I heard that lecture. I read your book," which I talk about it in my first book, Into the Magic Shop. And she said, "I'm the spiritual director of the largest homeless shelter in the United States. I'm a person of faith. My friends had sent me all of the scripture, but I was burned out at my job, and I couldn't do it anymore, and I resigned."

Lewis Howes 1:32:55 Mm.

Speaker 1:32:56 She said, "I read your book. I heard that talk, and it gave me the strength to return to work," which I'm like, "Oh my God, that's beautiful," right? So then a month later, she sends me another email, and she says, "You know, I have to tell you this story. I was telling my best friend about this, and she has a daughter named Jenny. And Jenny is 12, and she makes beads. And Jenny made a set of 10 wooden beads that, uh, each one represents one of those letters-

Lewis Howes 1:33:23 Wow

Speaker 1:33:23 ... of the alphabet."

Lewis Howes 1:33:24 That's cool.

Speaker 1:33:24 "And she added a golden bead to represent the golden rule. Would you mind if we sold these to support the homeless shelter? And we have a peace center there." And I said, "Absolutely." A few months later, she sends me another. She liked this stalkered.

Lewis Howes 1:33:38 [laughs]

Speaker 1:33:39 She sends me another, and she says, "You know, uh, um, this has been so powerful. I went ahead, and I, I created a YouTube video. Can I post it?" And it shows this little girl making these beads with beautiful music, and she's talking about this practice, and she then posted that. And long story short, her and I became friends. I ended up going down to the homeless shelter and touring it and giving a talk in the church or a sermon issue. [laughs] Even though I'm not particularly religious. And, uh, and then, um, she has two heroes in this world. One is the Dalai Lama, and, uh, the other is Desmond Tutu, and when he was alive. And, uh, so, uh, as I think you know, I used to be chairman of the Dalai Lama Foundation. He's the founding benefactor of the center I run at Stanford. I said, "Listen, I'm hosting the Dalai Lama. I want to invite you to come, and I wanna introduce you to him."

Lewis Howes 1:34:38 Wow.

Speaker 1:34:39 And she was kind, "Oh my God, that's incredible." She says, "But you know, unfortunately, I make very little money, and I can't really afford it." I said, "Well, listen, I'm gonna hire you as a consultant" [laughs] "And bring a bunch of beads with you."

Lewis Howes 1:34:51 Mm.

Speaker 1:34:52 And I did do that, and we had these beads blessed by His Holiness.

Lewis Howes 1:34:56 Wow.

Speaker 1:34:56 And, uh, uh, and she got to meet her hero. So fast-forward a few years later, I, uh, am friends with or was friends with Tutu. So I was down in Cape Town at his 80th birthday party. So during his 85th, they invited me to come down again to his birthday. And I was in Oslo, and I called. I said, "Listen, you need to do me a favor." [laughs] I said, "I want you to go to Cape Town in my place-

Lewis Howes 1:35:22 Wow. Wow

Speaker 1:35:23 ... [laughs] and, uh, meet Tutu." And while on the one hand, uh, uh, obviously it cost something to do that, in the big scope of my world, that was irrelevant.

Lewis Howes 1:35:35 My... Right.

Speaker 1:35:36 But for her-

Lewis Howes 1:35:37 It was the world

Speaker 1:35:38 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 1:35:39 Wow.

Speaker 1:35:39 And you see, that epitomizes what every one of us can do. To, to simply do a simple act-

Lewis Howes 1:35:49 Yeah

Speaker 1:35:49 ... and it can be saying hello. It can be holding a door open. It can be sitting with somebody. It can buy- be buying a homeless person a meal. And, and the thing is, the benefit you get from this-

Lewis Howes 1:36:04 Mm

Speaker 1:36:04 ... is so, so powerful.

Lewis Howes 1:36:05 Yes.

Speaker 1:36:05 You know, His Holiness says, "If you, uh, uh, want to make others happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate."

Lewis Howes 1:36:16 Wow. If you wanna make others happy, be compassionate. If you wanna be happy, be compassionate.

Speaker 1:36:20 Yeah. Because we know when you are care, when you're compassionate, it has a very positive effect on your physiology because you get shifted over-

Lewis Howes 1:36:29 Yes

Speaker 1:36:30 ... to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. Your cardiac function's improved. Your peripheral vascular function's improved. The expression of inflammatory p- uh, proteins is diminished. Your immune system's boosted. Your cortisol levels are decreased. And so there's a whole cascade of events. And plus, when you're kind and compassionate, your, uh, uh, reward and pleasure centers are stimulated.

Lewis Howes 1:36:54 Wow.

Speaker 1:36:55 Uh, you know, who wouldn't wanna be that way? And that's what, uh, you know, people forget sometimes.

Lewis Howes 1:37:00 Wow. And most people forget to be compassionate towards themselves the most.

Speaker 1:37:05 Oh, well, and that's the key of what we're talking about.

Lewis Howes 1:37:07 Absolutely. Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. This is extremely powerful. I want everyone to get a copy of this book. Get one for a friend as well. Um, I've got a couple final questions for you, James, before we wrap up. But before I ask them, uh, where can we send people to? Do you have a website we should send people to, or just go on Amazon and get the book?

Speaker 1:37:30 I think there are many places besides Amazon-

Lewis Howes 1:37:33 Sure, sure

Speaker 1:37:33 ... you can get books. Certainly, I'm a proponent of supporting independent bookstores, uh, but it is on Amazon. Uh, uh, you can also publish or, or purchase it from Penguin Random House if you use my name and the book title.

Lewis Howes 1:37:46 Cool.

Speaker 1:37:46 But it's pretty much anywhere-

Lewis Howes 1:37:48 Anywhere

Speaker 1:37:48 ... books can be, uh, uh, sold.

Lewis Howes 1:37:50 And do you have a website as well where we can-

Speaker 1:37:51 Sure

Lewis Howes 1:37:52 ... get in touch with you or connect?

Speaker 1:37:53 Uh, yeah. Uh, it's jamesrdotyuhmd.com. And, uh, all of my work is there. Uh, the other book I, um- Mentioned briefly was Into the Magic Shop, which was a New York Times bestseller. It's in 36 languages.

Lewis Howes 1:38:10 Mm.

Speaker 1:38:10 Uh, also, uh, the center I run at Stanford, uh, is there and certainly people can go there and we offer courses on-

Lewis Howes 1:38:18 Wow

Speaker 1:38:18 ... self-compassion and compassion-

Lewis Howes 1:38:20 That's brilliant

Speaker 1:38:21 ... as well as, uh, even corporate programs and programs for first responders, police officers, and things like that.

Lewis Howes 1:38:27 That's very cool.

Speaker 1:38:28 And that's at ccare.stanford.edu.

Lewis Howes 1:38:32 Okay.

Speaker 1:38:32 And actually, another project that I'm actually very excited about is for the last couple years I've been working, uh, on creating a mental health app.

Lewis Howes 1:38:41 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:38:42 Uh, and, uh, because so many people are suffering from stress, anxiety-

Lewis Howes 1:38:46 Yes

Speaker 1:38:47 ... and lack of compas- self-compassion. And the interesting thing about it is because, uh, especially adolescents, there- so many are suffering that, uh, there are not even enough therapists to take care of all these people.

Lewis Howes 1:39:00 I know.

Speaker 1:39:01 But the reality is most people are suffering from just living in the modern world. It's not, you know, drug-resistant depression.

Lewis Howes 1:39:07 Sure.

Speaker 1:39:07 It's just the stress and anxiety of living in the modern world because as we're talking about with the blue zones, we're far different, uh, in the modern world. So what it does is it utilizes an emotion assessment engine to analyze facial expression, voice analysis, and context of speech-

Lewis Howes 1:39:25 Mm

Speaker 1:39:26 ... connected to a conversational AI knowledge base of compassion-focused therapy and psychology, which is then hooked up to a human avatar who talks to you.

Lewis Howes 1:39:37 Wow. That's cool.

Speaker 1:39:38 And what we know is that having a brief conversation, like 10 minutes, when somebody is feeling stressed and anxious, the very nature of a conversation can significantly decrease those feelings.

Lewis Howes 1:39:52 Wow.

Speaker 1:39:53 And, uh, uh, and what's interesting is so many people are afraid of being judged.

Lewis Howes 1:39:59 Because shame's... Yes.

Speaker 1:40:02 So being able to talk actually to an avatar-

Lewis Howes 1:40:04 Oh, wow. Wow

Speaker 1:40:05 ... who is compassionate, empathetic, non-judgmental, accepting is very powerful. Now, this isn't to separate you from people. What it is is to support you so that you can go forward and actually have better connections. Um, and it's available 24/7, unlike your therapist, which, as you know... Uh, I should say, I don't know, maybe you don't have a therapist, but most people [laughs] have therapists.

Lewis Howes 1:40:29 Sure.

Speaker 1:40:30 But, you know, you call after 5:00, and they go, "If this is a life-threatening emergency-

Lewis Howes 1:40:34 [laughs]

Speaker 1:40:34 ... please call 911." Well, if you're stressed and anxious, that's really not the thing you want to hear.

Lewis Howes 1:40:39 Right. Right, right. Yeah. That's cool.

Speaker 1:40:39 But anyway, uh, that company is called Happi, H-A-P-P-i.ai.

Lewis Howes 1:40:45 Oh, okay. Cool.

Speaker 1:40:45 And, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:40:46 That's cool

Speaker 1:40:46 ... I'm very excited about that.

Lewis Howes 1:40:47 That's cool.

Speaker 1:40:47 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:40:48 Oh, when's that coming out?

Speaker 1:40:49 Uh, actually, people can sign up now for free.

Lewis Howes 1:40:51 Okay, cool.

Speaker 1:40:52 Uh, we're letting people use it just to get-

Lewis Howes 1:40:54 Testing it out

Speaker 1:40:54 ... input from them.

Lewis Howes 1:40:55 Yeah.

Speaker 1:40:55 Yeah. And, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:40:56 Awesome

Speaker 1:40:56 ... and certainly if people try it, please drop me a note and, uh-

Lewis Howes 1:40:59 That's cool

Speaker 1:40:59 ... 'cause we're trying to, of course, improve it. But it's pretty amazing, uh, the type of conversations you can have. Even, I mean, I've been like, "Wow-

Lewis Howes 1:41:07 That's cool

Speaker 1:41:07 ... that's amazing."

Lewis Howes 1:41:08 That's cool. Well, Happi, H-A-P-P-i.ai. Check that out as well.

Speaker 1:41:12 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:41:12 Um, a couple final questions for you, James.

Lewis Howes 1:41:15 Uh, one of them is called the three truths question. It's a hypothetical scenario. Imagine you get to live as long as you want, and you get to keep creating and manifesting and serving humanity the way you wanna do it. Uh, and everything that you desire, you manifest until the day you die. But for whatever reason, on the last day in this world, you have to take all of your work with you. So this book we don't have access to, this conversation is no longer around. Everything you've created, it's for whatever reason, gone somewhere else. We don't have access. It's a hypothetical scenario and question, but if it was the last day many years away and you could only leave behind three lessons to the world, and this is all we have of your information, your content, what would those three truths be for you that you would share?

Speaker 1:42:08 Believe in yourself, care for others, be kind to yourself.

Lewis Howes 1:42:14 Mm-hmm. Before I ask the final question, James, I wanna acknowledge you for the, the consistent contribution you make on the world. I think this topic is extremely interesting for so many people because a lot of people are suffering and they wanna have a better life, but they don't know how to create the life. So bringing neuroscience research and your own practical lessons into this work, sharing it here for people for free, creating it in a, in a book people can follow with a program, uh, and everything else you're sharing with the world, I just really acknowledge you for the contribution you are making currently on humanity, and I'm grateful for the wisdom and the lessons that you share. So I wanted to share that with you.

Speaker 1:42:54 Well, thank you.

Lewis Howes 1:42:54 Of course.

Speaker 1:42:55 I appreciate that.

Lewis Howes 1:42:55 You're welcome.

Speaker 1:42:55 That's very kind.

Lewis Howes 1:42:56 Yeah. You're welcome. Um, and my final question for you, James, is what is your definition of greatness?

Speaker 1:43:05 Being authentic, understanding yourself, and, uh, caring for others.

Lewis Howes 1:43:11 There you go. Mind Magic. Thank you, James. Appreciate it.

Speaker 1:43:13 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:43:13 Desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. So whatever your desire is, if, if you wanna make more money, if you wanna heal your chronic health condition, if you wanna find your soulmate, it doesn't matter what it is. You can become psychologically and emotionally non-resistant to the desire 100% of the time consistently-