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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

Today, I'm thrilled to have the brilliant Dr. Tara Swart with us once again. As a neuroscientist and expert in manifestation, Dr. Swart brings a unique blend of science and spirituality to the table.

Dr. Tara SwartguestLewis Howeshost

Jun 17, 20241h 35mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Science of Manifestation: Raised Awareness to Deliberate Practice
Lewis asks Dr. Tara Swart to break manifestation down into simple steps. She lays out a neuroplasticity-based process of raised awareness, focused attention, deliberate practice and accountability, using Lewis's decathlon mental rehearsal as an example.
- •Manifestation is choosing an outcome and taking the actions to make it come true
- •The process starts with raised awareness rather than immediate action
- •Mental rehearsal comes before physical practice, as in pole vaulting
- •Deliberate practice means testing changes like dating or new habits
- •She uses the HabitShare app with micro habits for accountability
Belief, Worthiness and Sharing Your Vision Board
Swart explains that people often fail to achieve goals because deep down they don't believe they deserve them, citing people who can't glue pictures to a vision board. Lewis raises the debate over telling others your goals, and she describes how gratitude and passionate talk shift the brain from cortisol toward oxytocin.
- •Lack of belief in deserving a goal blocks manifesting
- •She calls vision boards action boards
- •Putting goals somewhere visible is a risk, but a friend's husband offered an introduction after seeing hers
- •Talking about goals doesn't replace taking action
- •Gratitude and passionate talk move the brain from cortisol toward oxytocin
Gratitude Without Spiritual Bypassing
Lewis asks whether there can be too much gratitude and describes gratitude as his gateway to abundance. Both agree gratitude shouldn't bypass real pain, and Swart shares her practice of listing ten things she's grateful for when feeling low.
- •Lewis calls gratitude the gateway to abundance, peace and freedom
- •Both caution against spiritual bypassing of pain or crossed boundaries
- •The aim is finding the meaning in the mess and asking what you learned
- •Swart lists ten things she's grateful for when feeling low
- •Being alive and in good health is worth being grateful for
Smell: The Most Emotive Sense
Asked about underused secrets of neuroscience, Swart turns to smell. She explains why olfaction sits so close to the amygdala and hippocampus, how smells trigger childhood memories, and how olfactory enrichment can benefit memory.
- •The olfactory nerve runs only about an inch to the amygdala and hippocampus
- •Smells linked to parents' or grandparents' homes trigger an avalanche of memory
- •Smells tied to bad experiences, like petrol after car sickness, can be disliked
- •More women than men are super smellers
- •Smelling many different things induces neuroplasticity and may help memory and cognition with age
Smell, Attraction and the Immune System
Lewis asks how smell plays into new relationships. Swart ranks visual, auditory and then smell cues in attraction, explains the major histocompatibility complex, and separates smell from the contagious effect of cortisol.
- •Attraction is first visual, then auditory, then smell
- •Bad smell is more of a detractor than a primary attractor
- •People tend to be attracted to partners with a different immune system pattern
- •Cortisol is contagious but not scientifically proven to be smelled
- •Cohabiting partners share microbiome, usually from healthiest downward
Animals That Smell Death and Expanding Consciousness
Swart discusses cancer-detecting dogs, a simulated nose, and nursing-home pets that sit outside the doors of dying residents. She uses these biological models to ask whether humans could expand consciousness, then offers Jung's collective unconscious and the idea of time as a spiral to explain thinking of someone who then contacts you.
- •Medical detection dogs and a simulated nose can detect cancer
- •Nursing-home cats and dogs sit outside doors of people about to die
- •If animals sense beyond human perception, humans may be able to as well
- •Jung's collective unconscious is offered as the science answer; global vivid dreaming at the pandemic's start and twins are examples
- •First American nations see time as a spiral, and Swart says linear time is a man-made construct
Terminal Lucidity, Near-Death Experiences and Higher Dimensions
Swart describes terminal lucidity, near-death experiences and ancient practices as hints that the brain may filter a larger consciousness. Lewis asks about 3D versus 5D, and she frames her interest in connecting with lost loved ones in the context of pandemic-era grief.
- •Terminal lucidity: people with severe brain damage suddenly become lucid, often dying within 24 hours
- •Near-death experiences involve recovery after flat EEG for unexpectedly long periods
- •Tibetan dark retreats and ancient burial practices sought to induce such states
- •She is not an expert on 3D vs 5D and says there is no science yet to the angelic realm claim
- •Grief and loss of purpose since the pandemic motivate her search
Staying Open: Thought Insertion, Hearts and Signs
Swart explains that expanding awareness requires openness, and discusses conversations with lost loved ones, thought insertion and the hard problem of neuroscience. She shares her I Find Hearts habit, her experiments asking for specific signs, and why she wants to research signs and synchronicities.
- •Openness to possibility is the starting point
- •Talking with a lost loved one in your head is widely acceptable; thought insertion is a diagnostic symptom of schizophrenia
- •Where thoughts come from is the hard problem of neuroscience
- •She experiments with asking for specific unusual signs and journaling results
- •She plans to research signs and synchronicities and write another book
Signs Mean You're Safe; Inner Child, Shadow and Attracting Wounds
Swart says signs tell you that you are guided, safe and protected, and ties this to Lewis's 'I'm safe' self-soothing. Asked about healing childhood wounds, she explains inner child and shadow and says we meet people at the same level of psychological wound, and may leave them if we evolve.
- •Signs tell you that you're guided, safe and protected
- •Self-soothing helps, but belief in something greater can ease feeling alone
- •Shadow is parts of yourself rejected in childhood to keep caregivers' love
- •Inner child and shadow drive unconscious behavior and who we attract
- •Stress-hormone sensing is short-term while inner child and shadow are longer term
Gender, Evolution and Testosterone in Relationships
Lewis asks whether manifesting love differs for men and women. Swart says love-seekers are alike but wants often differ, explains the evolutionary roots, and describes how fatherhood raises oxytocin and drops testosterone. She then covers fertility-cycle preferences and cheating.
- •Those seeking long-term love manifest it similarly regardless of gender
- •Women's survival wiring favors stable partners, from cave-era needs
- •Oxytocin rewires new dads toward bonding and lowers testosterone
- •Women may prefer a bad boy at peak fertility and a nice man otherwise
- •Swart links this mismatch to why people cheat
Prairie Voles, Oxytocin and the Science of Bonding
Swart explains bonding through prairie voles, whose monogamy depends on scarcity of food and shelter, and the roles of oxytocin and vasopressin. She applies this to dating, saying early sex drops a man's vasopressin while a woman bonds more quickly, and that sex pulls the trigger the receptors load.
- •Prairie voles are monogamous while marsh or mountain voles are promiscuous
- •Vasopressin receptors in the reward circuitry drive bonding
- •Sex on the first date drops a man's vasopressin so he reverts to testosterone-driven interest
- •Women bond faster because men's testosterone buffers oxytocin
- •Don't say casual is fine if you want long-term then feel disappointed
Psychedelics, Neuroplasticity and Brain Complexity
Lewis asks about 5D states and sending signals out through thoughts and the heart. Swart says science is not there yet, reflects on how brain treatments have changed, and discusses psychedelic research while stressing that sleep, food, breath and meditation can achieve similar effects with less risk.
- •Left brain/right brain talk is outdated; the brain is far more complex
- •Psychedelic research at Johns Hopkins shows neuroplasticity benefits under supervision
- •Unsupervised use has risks: purity, bad trips and neuroplasticity that can worsen things
- •Lewis argues meditation retreats can produce similar visions and benefits
- •Ayahuasca research used pure ayahuasca without the ceremonial purging
Reprogramming Your Subconscious: Foundations, Nature and Micro Habits
Asked how to rewire the subconscious, Swart outlines physical foundations of sleep, nutrition, movement, hydration and breath, then meditation, nature, beauty and creative expression. For people in a low state, she recommends starting with tiny micro habits.
- •Sleep, nutrient-dense food, movement, hydration and breath come first
- •Trees release phytoncides that boost natural killer cells
- •Making beauty through singing, dancing, drumming and chanting also matters
- •Neglecting basics is like putting wrong fuel in a Ferrari
- •She advises changing 10 things by 1%, not one thing by 10%
Magnetic Times and Matching What You Ask For
Lewis asks why some people manifest faster. Swart says it's practice, describes magnetic periods when you should ask for everything, and asks whether you match the list of qualities you want in a partner.
- •No secret: manifesting comes down to practice
- •There are 'months in the desert' and magnetic times when things fall into place
- •In magnetic periods, ask for what you wanted but haven't manifested
- •Make a list of what you offer, not just what you want, in a partner
- •Without matching your list you'll be disappointed
Vision Board Practice: Leaving Space and Realistic Goals
Swart describes making a vision board every year, with about 80% of items coming true within the year. She leaves space for unexpected outcomes like appearing on Lewis's podcast, uses metaphorical images, and says goals should be realistic and built step by step.
- •About 80% of her board comes true within the year, though some items never do
- •She leaves space because her brain is limited by what it thinks she deserves
- •Her boards are metaphorical, such as a horse kicking up water
- •Saying yes to unplanned opportunities raises self-worth and confidence
- •Start with realistic goals like owning a home, not a mansion
Grief, Spiritual Revolution and Following the Call
Asked what people need to know now, Swart says the pandemic's mental health crisis can become a spiritual revolution and that the answer for the lost and grieving lies in the brain. She discusses worrying about credibility as a neuroscientist talking spirituality, and asks listeners to share stories for her research.
- •She asked whether the mental health crisis could be a spiritual revolution
- •For those lost or grieving, she says there's much to do to reconnect and navigate grief gracefully
- •She is a no-regrets person and feels guided and living in trust
- •Lewis acknowledges her for listening to the call within
- •She asks listeners to share anecdotes by DM on Instagram
Three Words and Defining Greatness
Lewis asks for her three truths, and Swart shares her yearly guiding words: peace, beauty and freedom, plus truth. Lewis shares he once chose peace, clarity and freedom, and Swart defines greatness as a purpose greater than yourself.
- •Her words are peace, beauty and freedom, and she also had truth
- •Beauty ties to her neuroesthetics research
- •Freedom means not fearing criticism and trusting herself
- •Both realized peace comes from within, not from outside
- •Greatness is an altruistic purpose bigger than your own life

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