You've Been BLOCKING Your BLESSINGS! Do THIS To MANIFEST Like CRAZY! | Tabitha Brown

Tabitha Brown 0:00 A goal you can be like, "I ain't make that goal," or, "I did it, Chet," but the dream won't let you rest. Even when you manifest it and it comes, it still is persistent. There's more to do until we are called home.

Lewis Howes 0:10 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 0:11 The dream is just, it lives inside of us.

Lewis Howes 0:13 Emmy Award-winning actress, CEO of several major product lines, and a NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author.

Tabitha Brown 0:20 Please welcome the amazing Tabitha Brown. And the very thing that I used to cover about myself is the thing people love about me the most now.

Lewis Howes 0:28 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 0:28 I believed what I was sold. Somebody sold me a lie and I bought it, but now, honey, I returned it-

Lewis Howes 0:34 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 0:34 ... and got all my money back. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 0:35 That's something.

Tabitha Brown 0:36 When you are pretending to be someone else, God can't bless who you're not.

Lewis Howes 0:40 Ooh.

Tabitha Brown 0:40 If I am pretending to be somebody else, what are these blessings that I'm getting? Those aren't mine. That's something I created. Freedom and being true to who you are-

Lewis Howes 0:48 Mm

Tabitha Brown 0:48 ... is the best gift you can give to yourself. I wasn't ready for everything I was gonna gain.

Lewis Howes 0:53 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 0:53 I also wasn't ready for everything I was gonna lose.

Lewis Howes 0:55 What did you lose?

Tabitha Brown 0:56 Friendships, relationships. When I started walking in my freedom, they started to disappear.

Lewis Howes 1:02 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 1:02 But God revealed to me, he said, "Everybody's not ready to walk in their freedom, so being close to you while you're in yours is disturbing their spirit."

Lewis Howes 1:09 Oh. What do you think is the true key to attracting and manifesting exactly what is meant for us in life?

Tabitha Brown 1:15 I think-

Lewis Howes 1:18 Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Tabitha Brown in the house. So good to see you.

Tabitha Brown 1:25 Very good. Thank you for having me.

Lewis Howes 1:26 Welcome. Welcome to the show.

Tabitha Brown 1:28 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:29 Uh, it's been amazing to watch your journey, specifically over the last five years, just kind of expand and explode in a positive, powerful way. And we were just talking off-camera about how when you fully stepped into who you authentically were, that's when everything started to expand.

Tabitha Brown 1:46 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:47 And you started to attract the right things for your life. You started to magnify your audience and community. You started to expand financially, relationally, with positive abundance. And I think it's really cool that this all happened for you. And I'm curious, your new book, it's called I Did a New Thing: 30 Days to Living Free. I'm curious, what was the thing that set you free to create more abundance in your life-

Tabitha Brown 2:14 Mm

Lewis Howes 2:14 ... in a positive way?

Tabitha Brown 2:16 Oh, I think the thing that set me free, um... You know, I, my story, I was sick, right? For quite some time, about a year and seven months, and I really thought in that dark season, 'cause you know, I was sick and doctors couldn't tell me what was wrong with me. They, um, were doing all, you know, running tests all the time and giving me guinea pig medication is what I would call it, 'cause they can't diagnose you, but, "Try this and see if you feel better", right?

Lewis Howes 2:42 Right.

Tabitha Brown 2:42 You fall into this depression, which I did, 'cause it's like, I know something's not right with my body. I know I don't feel normal. Um, and they can't tell me anything, right? And I thought God

Tabitha Brown 2:54 had forgotten about me. And so I think when I got to that lowest point, I was like, you know, I'm from North Carolina, I grew up in the church, and I used to be this, this person, and I still am, who was, uh, excited to be a woman of faith, right? And I was like, here I am really thinking like I have all this faith, but I feel like God has, has left me.

Lewis Howes 3:16 Really?

Tabitha Brown 3:17 And so I was like, "Okay, Lord," this time, because what I also realized was I was habitually praying, and that means I was just praying out of habit, but I wasn't really meaning or believing what I was saying.

Lewis Howes 3:32 Can you give me an example?

Tabitha Brown 3:33 You know how you grow up and it's like, just for example, like, "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for the food", right? You're taught that as a kid on how to pray for your food. That's a habit that we pick up.

Lewis Howes 3:43 It wasn't an intention.

Tabitha Brown 3:44 It wasn't intentional.

Lewis Howes 3:45 Like, feeling it.

Tabitha Brown 3:46 Like, even, even though I was praying, "God, please help me to feel better, God, please heal me," like I was just saying it 'cause it's like, oh, this is what we do at church. So I realized like, oh wait, I need to unlearn how to habitually pray and I really need to seek him truly and let him have me.

Lewis Howes 4:05 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 4:06 Right?

Lewis Howes 4:07 What's the difference between habitual prayer and seeking God and faith and allowing him to be inside of you?

Tabitha Brown 4:14 Uh, the difference is habitually you're taught. I was taught how to pray that way. I was taught how to, to be a person of faith. I was taught how to go to church, how to worship. But when I say, "God, I'm a, strip me clean," my prayer was, "God, if you heal me, you can have me."

Lewis Howes 4:35 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 4:36 That meant I'm not gonna do it my way anymore and how I was taught.

Lewis Howes 4:39 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 4:40 I'm gonna do it the way you created me to do it. That meant I'm gonna allow you to deposit inside of me like only you can. Nobody else will get this credit or the glory for it, right? And so that's what got me free. I started taking layers off, and when I prayed that prayer, I was in my bathroom, I remember, and my prayer was, "God, if you heal me, you can have me." Something changed that day.

Lewis Howes 5:06 Hmm.

Tabitha Brown 5:07 I can't explain it, I just felt different. I wasn't healed in the moment, but when I left the bathroom, I felt different. And from that day, I've just been taking layers off ever since and allowing myself to be who God has called me to be.

Lewis Howes 5:22 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 5:23 So, yeah.

Lewis Howes 5:25 Do you feel like you were sick physically and depressed emotionally or mentally because you were out of alignment with who you were meant to be?

Tabitha Brown 5:33 Absolutely. I definitely think that plays a huge, huge role in it. I think that... I, I also have a gift, right? So I was... We all have gifts. I was born with the gift to where I can dream things that come to pass. I see things. I can hear things. Um, and I remember a time when I tried to pray that away 'cause it was scary. You know, growing up that way and, you know, people thinking you crazy 'cause you can dream something and tell 'em and then it happens, or you see something and you tell them. It wasn't a fun gift to have

Tabitha Brown 6:03 as a kid or as a young adult, right? But I remember I went like a good... Felt like about six years where I prayed like, "God, I don't want this anymore." And when I didn't have it as often, it felt like I was missing a part of-

Lewis Howes 6:19 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 6:19 Right? But what I realized is when I would have a dream and I'm supposed to give a message to somebody, if I didn't, I would get sick.

Lewis Howes 6:31 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 6:31 I would not... Like, I would get nauseous, my head would spin, I would have to lay down. But the moment I got it out, I'd be completely fine.

Lewis Howes 6:40 So you had a lot of premonitory dreams or...?

Tabitha Brown 6:42 Yeah, like just... It, it's crazy.

Lewis Howes 6:44 Like a vision or like a message, like-

Tabitha Brown 6:46 Yeah, visions. Yeah, I can dream it while I'm asleep or sometime while I'm awake. Like right now I'm looking at you and then something will appear right beside you. I cannot control it. It just happens.

Lewis Howes 6:54 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 6:55 Um, but like a, sometimes like a sc- a movie screen, like a little box, and I can see something play out. Sometimes it's a actual, just a vision, just as clear as you sitting there.

Lewis Howes 7:04 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 7:05 You can sit right here.

Lewis Howes 7:06 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 7:07 And I-

Lewis Howes 7:07 And when you wouldn't speak it...

Tabitha Brown 7:09 When I won't say... Like, there's times when, when God shows me something, but it's not meant for me to say anything. It's just for me.

Lewis Howes 7:15 To be aware of. Yeah, yeah.

Tabitha Brown 7:15 To be aware.

Lewis Howes 7:16 But when you feel like you're supposed to say it and you don't...

Tabitha Brown 7:18 W- Oh, I g- I, I'm not well.

Lewis Howes 7:19 Interesting.

Tabitha Brown 7:20 Yeah, so I feel like because I wasn't living my truth for so long, I had created this Tabitha that I thought would win. Like, I was suffocating the true me, so I couldn't breathe.

Lewis Howes 7:31 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 7:32 And so the more and more layers I took off, the better I got.

Lewis Howes 7:38 Why did you feel like you needed to put a mask on for the, either the industry you were in-

Tabitha Brown 7:43 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 7:43 ... or the relationships you were in, or whatever it might be? I mean, I, I know from a personal experience, I wore a mask to feel like I needed to fit in and feel safe-

Tabitha Brown 7:50 Yeah

Lewis Howes 7:50 ... for many years.

Tabitha Brown 7:51 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 7:52 Uh, growing up playing sports and in school and, you know, as a young adult, I felt like I needed to protect myself with a mask.

Tabitha Brown 7:59 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 7:59 But why did you wear masks?

Tabitha Brown 8:00 Ooh, for many reasons. One, you know, I'm from North Carolina, right? From the South. I grew up learning how to code switch and conform watching my mama, right? So we go to the bank, and if she talking to, you know, the white lady that work at the bank, but her voice is different. I'm like, "Oh, wait. Is this how we talk?"

Lewis Howes 8:19 Interesting.

Tabitha Brown 8:19 T- oh, okay, if, if my mama came to school and talked to teachers, and, you know, all my teachers were white. In my town it was only Black and white. There was no in between. I ain't see, like, Hispanics or any of that stuff until I grew up and became an adult. She would change her voice. So I learned very early, oh, this is how we have to talk to people who are not Black.

Lewis Howes 8:38 Interesting.

Tabitha Brown 8:38 I didn't know that that was code switching back then, but it was like, oh, to be treated a certain way, to be respected, to be seen, that's what we have to do. And then growing up and working in corporate America, being told, like, on, in a call center, people hearing my voice saying, "Oh, are you Black? I, I don't wanna speak to somebody

Tabitha Brown 8:56 Black."

Lewis Howes 8:56 No way.

Tabitha Brown 8:57 Oh, absolutely.

Lewis Howes 8:57 Come on.

Tabitha Brown 8:58 Oh, absolutely, honey. And so I would learn to mask it even more, to, to, to, to push it down even more. And then getting into entertainment, hearing, "Oh, you, you sound country. You gonna have to learn to, to cover that." So it became like I'm doing it for, you know, just my normal school and, and work. I'm doing it for corporate America. Now I'm doing it for entertainment. And then it came to, like, oh, you can come to LA. I used to, you know, have, my hair was alwa- uh, already natural. But they were like, "Well, your skin complexion, straighter hair." Okay? Certain size. Sound neutral used to be the, the, the word I would always be given.

Lewis Howes 9:38 No accent. Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 9:39 No accent. Be as neutral w- no one should know where you from. And I believed that. And so I created that Tabitha to get jobs, right? The one thing that my mom and them, they named me Tabitha, so my first job at Winn-Dixie I'll never forget. I put in the application, dropped it off, and I got a call. Um, and they were like, "Oh, we want to bring you in for interview." I was like, "Okay, great." So I get there, and the, the assistant manager when I walked up clearly thought I was white from my name and how I-

Lewis Howes 10:08 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 10:08 ... sounded on the phone, right?

Lewis Howes 10:10 Right.

Tabitha Brown 10:10 So when she looked at me, I was like, "I'm here for a interview." She's like, "Did somebody call you for interview?" I was like, "Yes, ma'am," um, s- said her name, and it was her. And she was like, "I'll be right back." Ended up getting a job because the, the actual store manager had came. Uh, his name was David. He was a, a older man who was great. He was like, "I'll interview her." And so he loved me, and I worked there, you know, for a while. But my name always used to get me jobs, crazy enough, because people thought I was white. There weren't no Black Tabithas around. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 10:40 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 10:40 It was like, it's a Bewitched name. It's a name from Bewitched. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 10:43 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 10:43 That's where, that's where my mama named me from. So, um, it was, it's, it was conforming to survive. My ancestors had to do it to survive, right? And it was passed down, but we don't have to do that anymore.

Lewis Howes 10:56 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 10:56 I'm enough just as I am from Eden, North Carolina. Honey, the very thing that I used to cover about myself is the thing people love about me the most now.

Lewis Howes 11:04 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 11:05 It's crazy. But I didn't know. I, I believed what I was sold. Somebody sold me a lie, and I bought it. But now, honey, I returned it.

Lewis Howes 11:16 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 11:17 And got all my money back. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 11:19 I bet so, with interest.

Tabitha Brown 11:22 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 11:22 Do you feel like it was more challenging, you know, in North Carolina growing up trying to succeed or get opportunities, or more challenging in Los Angeles, Hollywood?

Tabitha Brown 11:33 Oh, definitely, uh, Los Angeles.

Lewis Howes 11:34 Really?

Tabitha Brown 11:35 Oh, yeah, yeah. In the South it's like you, it's... The thing about the South is, especially in North Carolina, I love my, my... You know, North Carolina is the best place in the world. I mean, I, I love it. But it was always very clear. It wasn't hidden.

Lewis Howes 11:48 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 11:48 You know exactly who-

Lewis Howes 11:49 Ah

Tabitha Brown 11:49 ... who you talking to.

Lewis Howes 11:50 Interesting.

Tabitha Brown 11:51 Right? Ain't no secret about it, right? So-

Lewis Howes 11:53 Whether they like you or not.

Tabitha Brown 11:55 Y- yeah.

Lewis Howes 11:55 It's clear.

Tabitha Brown 11:55 Yeah. If, if I want you around or not, like, it's, it's very clear out-

Lewis Howes 11:58 They're

Lewis Howes 11:59 here

Tabitha Brown 11:59 ... out here.

Lewis Howes 11:59 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 12:00 It's Hollywood, honey. They, they hide the truth.

Lewis Howes 12:02 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 12:02 You don't know that they don't really fool with you until after the fact, right? Or if you find it out in a email or you see it in the trades or whatever. You're like, "Oh, wait a minute" You acting like we was cool, but we really weren't.

Lewis Howes 12:14 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 12:14 You didn't really like me, you know? So it's more hidden here. People be out here acting. They be wearing masks out here.

Lewis Howes 12:21 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 12:21 Yeah, but I-

Lewis Howes 12:22 They say they wanna do a project, but then they don't talk to you

Tabitha Brown 12:24 ... Right, and you know what? I don't even care about that. Like, whatever's meant for me, I, I wholeheartedly, in this season of my life-

Lewis Howes 12:31 Mm

Tabitha Brown 12:31 ... I truly know what God has for me, it is for me. And if it ain't, it ain't.

Lewis Howes 12:37 Absolutely.

Tabitha Brown 12:37 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 12:38 I was just saying this to my, my fiance, Martha, recently actually. I was like, you know, I, I was telling her, she got excited. She did a, a great audition recently for something.

Tabitha Brown 12:47 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 12:47 And she was really excited about the possibility. I go, "You're gonna get this if it's meant for you and if it's in alignment with your truth-"

Tabitha Brown 12:53 That's right

Lewis Howes 12:54 ... "and your future. And if you don't get it, it wasn't meant for you."

Tabitha Brown 12:56 It wasn't meant for you, hon. That's right.

Lewis Howes 12:58 And you don't need to be upset about it or, you know, maybe you can have a little moment of like, "Oh, okay," this idea of, "I wish I coulda got it", but you don't wanna go through years of stress on something that's not meant for you.

Tabitha Brown 13:08 That's right. That's right. Listen, when the thing is meant for you, there is nothing that will stop it.

Lewis Howes 13:13 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 13:14 Like, God is not even complicated. He's not. He's very clear. We complicate things. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 13:19 Right. We're in our head too much.

Tabitha Brown 13:21 Yeah, we're in our head too much. We're overthinking it.

Lewis Howes 13:22 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 13:23 You know, we, you know, we'll get an opportunity, and before the opportunity is ours, we will play out every single thing. Oh, if I do this, and then I do this, and... And we ain't even got it yet. Let's see if it works out for us first, and then we can expand on it.

Lewis Howes 13:36 What do you think is the true key to attracting and manifesting exactly what is meant for us in life?

Tabitha Brown 13:42 I think walking in your truth will do that, right? Showing up exactly who you are, uh, allows the things that belong to you to come, you know, because [laughs] when we create a, a different person, as I did for myself, right, when you are pretending to be someone else, God can't bless who you're not.

Lewis Howes 14:00 Ooh.

Tabitha Brown 14:02 He can only bless who you are.

Lewis Howes 14:03 Right.

Tabitha Brown 14:04 So-

Lewis Howes 14:05 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 14:05 [laughs] Right? So if, if I am pre- pretending to be somebody else, what are these blessings that I'm getting? Those aren't mine. That's something I created.

Lewis Howes 14:15 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 14:15 But when I just be me-

Lewis Howes 14:17 Yeah

Tabitha Brown 14:17 ... I can get everything He has for me.

Lewis Howes 14:18 And the interesting thing, you see people who are blessed for being someone they're not.

Tabitha Brown 14:24 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 14:24 They're usually depressed, anxious, stressed, or it's never enough.

Tabitha Brown 14:28 Yep.

Lewis Howes 14:28 It's never good enough because they still aren't good enough. They're not being who they're meant to be.

Tabitha Brown 14:32 Mm-hmm. They're always chasing something else.

Lewis Howes 14:34 Exactly.

Tabitha Brown 14:35 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 14:36 And that's almost a, a greater challenge. It's like you're being blessed, but you don't feel enough.

Tabitha Brown 14:40 Right.

Lewis Howes 14:40 You have everything, but you feel

Lewis Howes 14:42 worthless.

Tabitha Brown 14:43 Mm-hmm, or empty.

Lewis Howes 14:44 Empty.

Tabitha Brown 14:44 No peace.

Lewis Howes 14:45 No peace.

Tabitha Brown 14:46 Yeah. I mean, that's the freedom in being true to who you are.

Lewis Howes 14:50 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 14:50 It's the best gift you can give to yourself.

Lewis Howes 14:52 How can someone know what their truth is-

Tabitha Brown 14:55 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 14:55 ... when they've been wearing a mask for so long?

Tabitha Brown 14:58 Oh, honey, we all, I feel like we know our truth, right? Um, your truth is in your silence when no one else is around, right? It's, it's the things that you say to yourself. It's the things that you do. Um, like childhood memories, before you were taught that you weren't enough and before you believed it, right? That's your truth. Sometimes we have to go back to our childlike thoughts because as children, we're free. We're born knowing what we're supposed to do. We're, but we're taught how to have fear. We're taught no. We're taught yes, right? We're taught how to speak, all the things, but we're also influenced by our parents, uh, by our friends and peers and different things. Sometimes unintentionally. It just naturally happens, and you're influenced. But what your truth is, how you feel when you're alone, uh, the things that you used to, uh, enjoy doing as a kid that nobody had to tell you to do. Like, that's your truth, right? That sometimes that's also your passion and purpose. We have to go back to that before we were taught, "Oh, no, you can't have that dream. Oh, no, you can't do that 'cause, you know, they don't make money. You should do this, X, Y, and Z." You go back to what did you used to love to play when you were a kid, right? Did you love to play office? Did you love to play-

Lewis Howes 16:19 Mm-hmm

Tabitha Brown 16:19 ... sports? Did you love to play, you know, did you take care of dolls and, and treat them like you were a doctor? Like, what was your thing that you did every day without hesitation until somebody told you that that was just a game? Sometimes that's your purpose. That's the thing that you were put here to do-

Lewis Howes 16:35 Yeah

Tabitha Brown 16:35 ... before somebody told you you couldn't. And so you go back to that, and then it's like, oh, that was my truth that I let somebody tell me was a lie, but that belongs to me.

Lewis Howes 16:45 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 16:46 You know, those are, those are your feelings. Those are your, your things that still matter for you, but we have to tap back into it. Gotta get back to that.

Lewis Howes 16:54 And when you were in that bathroom having that conversation with God-

Tabitha Brown 16:57 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 16:57 ... what was it again you said? It, uh-

Tabitha Brown 16:58 If you heal me, you can have me.

Lewis Howes 17:00 If you heal me, you can have me. That's powerful.

Tabitha Brown 17:02 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 17:03 And you said when you left that, something shifted inside of you.

Tabitha Brown 17:06 Yeah. I felt lighter.

Lewis Howes 17:07 Interesting.

Tabitha Brown 17:08 I felt lighter, and I just felt different. You know? It's, it's hard to explain that, but every day from that day, it was just like something is happening. I, I have this thing sometimes where, um, I can walk outside and the air will feel different on my skin, and I know a shift is happening. Like, I, I, I know it's coming. I'm like, "Oh, something's about to happen." It's a weird thing, but I can feel it. I remember I used to work this job. I was working a 9:00 to 5:00 in LA, and we had a warehouse,

Tabitha Brown 17:45 and then we had an office space. And so I would go, 'cause I was in, uh, charge of, like, shipping and coordinating, so I would go to the warehouse sometime to take paperwork and then walk back to my office, and there was a very long hallway. And this particular day I had felt the wind shift.

Lewis Howes 17:59 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 17:59 And so when I had left the warehouse to come back down this long hallway, I, and I sometimes still do this, but I remember this day, I would close my eyes, and I wouldn't even care about where I was going. I would just walk with my eyes closed this long hallway.

Lewis Howes 18:13 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 18:14 Because it was just sp- I could just envision- Whatever the shift was, like God got something else for me that's coming. And I remember a girl that was work, she was coming out of the bathroom, so she was like standing in the hallway. She was like, "Tabitha, Tabitha"

Lewis Howes 18:27 She had your eyes closed washing her hands.

Tabitha Brown 18:28 Yeah. And I, and it startled me. And she was like, "You were just walking with your eyes closed."

Lewis Howes 18:31 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 18:31 I was like, "Oh, girl. Honey, sometime, honey, I do that 'cause I'm just seeing where He's taking me." You know? It, it's, it's a, it's a weird thing. I, I can't even, I can't explain the, like why I do some of the things I do. It's also I feel like it's part of the gift.

Lewis Howes 18:48 Absolutely.

Tabitha Brown 18:49 You know?

Lewis Howes 18:50 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 18:50 But, but after I left the bathroom that day, it was about two or three weeks later I had this dream. Uh, and in the dream I, I saw myself on a show, right? But the screen was small. And I've told this story a million times. And when I woke up I was like, "Okay, Lord, reveal that to me," because during this time I'm not really auditioning, I'm not doing any acting. I wouldn't do a standup. I wouldn't do any things that would land me on a show 'cause I was not well. And I had a conversation with God and He said, um, "Start doing videos."

Lewis Howes 19:22 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 19:22 And I was like, "I'm not doing no videos. Honey, I'm an actress. A broke actress, but an actress nonetheless" [laughs] .

Lewis Howes 19:27 [laughs] I'm not doing that self-help YouTube thing.

Tabitha Brown 19:29 Right. I'm not doing that. What, why would I do that? And also 'cause, you know, as an actor then we were always told when I would go to acting classes and different things, "Stay away from social media. They won't take you serious in Hollywood"

Lewis Howes 19:39 Right

Tabitha Brown 19:39 And I believed it, okay? And so the voice was clear, "Start doing videos." And I was like, "Lord, I don't wanna do videos." And He was like, "Listen, when you were out doing standup you were trying to get a TV show. And them little, you know, open mic nights you were getting 15, 30 people to see you a night"

Lewis Howes 19:55 Yeah

Tabitha Brown 19:55 "You start doing videos you'll reach thousands in minutes." And I was like, "That's where I got you 'cause I ain't got thousands of followers to reach in minutes." The voice again, "Start doing videos." So I was like, "I don't wanna do that." So then He reminded me, He said, "Remember in the bathroom you said, 'If I heal you, I can have you.'"

Lewis Howes 20:09 Ooh.

Tabitha Brown 20:10 And I said-

Lewis Howes 20:11 Do you wanna be healed or, or not?

Tabitha Brown 20:14 I was like, ooh, He caught me on a bad day that day, but I did say that [laughs]

Lewis Howes 20:18 [laughs] Did I really say that? Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 20:19 Did I really say that? You know, I was ha- I was having a rough day that day

Lewis Howes 20:22 Oh, it was just-

Tabitha Brown 20:22 But that's the only reason I started doing videos.

Lewis Howes 20:24 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 20:25 Right? So-

Lewis Howes 20:25 'Cause you heard the voice-

Tabitha Brown 20:26 Because I heard the-

Lewis Howes 20:26 ... it said, "Start doing videos"

Tabitha Brown 20:27 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 20:28 And you didn't have a big audience then?

Tabitha Brown 20:29 No. I had, you know, my Facebook, I had a, my regular Facebook family, but, you know, 3 to 5,000 people, whatever your-

Lewis Howes 20:35 Uh-huh

Tabitha Brown 20:35 ... thing is on Facebook. Um, I might've had like, I don't know, 1,300 followers or something on my Facebook actor page.

Lewis Howes 20:42 Small. Small as you-

Tabitha Brown 20:43 Small. Oh, as small as you can get it in, you know, probably the same on Instagram. And I was like, "Well, I ain't got thousands of followers to, to watch me. Thousands in minutes, what are you talking about?" And I was like, "Okay," but I also was trying to live a life o, of obedience.

Lewis Howes 20:58 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 20:58 So I was like, "Okay, I gotta start doing these videos." And then I was like, "Lord, what am I gonna do a video about?" So when I first started doing the videos I was telling jokes and telling stories of, you know, being a mama and a wife. Same stuff I used to kinda tell on stage. And during that time, uh, th- those same, you know, few weeks my daughter had came home and told me about the documentary to watch, that she watched at school, What The Health, 'cause she knew I was sick.

Lewis Howes 21:21 Uh-huh.

Tabitha Brown 21:21 We watched it as a family, and I decided to do a 30-day vegan challenge. And, uh, after the 30 days I was like, "Oh, this is..." I was feeling better. 10 days, the first 10 days, I'd had a headache for a year and seven months in the back of my head every day.

Lewis Howes 21:36 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 21:36 Every day. I was, I would fall when I would walk. I lost my vision for a day.

Lewis Howes 21:41 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 21:41 M- I- my body was just attacking itself. First 10 days my headache disappeared. After every drug, I was getting shots in my head, in my-

Lewis Howes 21:50 Wow

Tabitha Brown 21:50 I was getting everything they offered me. If anything, it was probably making me worse. Nothing worked. 10 days of eating plants, headache disappeared. And so I told my husband, I was like, "I think this is gonna be my life. I think I'm gonna go vegan." And the moment I said that out of my mouth on that day 30, I was like, "I'm not gonna go back. I think I'm gonna be vegan," the same voice that told me to start doing videos, like a hummingbird would fly by your ear, that's how I can explain it. It, that's how it sounds. It was like, "Now tell people what you're eating in your videos."

Lewis Howes 22:19 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 22:20 And I said, "Oh, Lord, I, I don't know if I wanna do that," 'cause that makes it kinda permanent. Like, I'm from North Carolina. I, I'm not doing a challenge-

Lewis Howes 22:30 Yeah, you like comfort, the comfort food. Yeah, yeah

Tabitha Brown 22:30 ... I'm doing, right, I'm doing for real this is my life, I'm gonna be vegan. And I never wanted people to feel like I was trying to shame anybody or anything. And I was just like, "I don't know." I had also shaved off all my hair at the time 'cause, uh, my hair was always long and straight, so I was just doing a whole new, you know, transformation. And so I was like, "Okay." I just started telling people, "Yeah, I'm going vegan, and when I find food items I'ma share it with y'all. I'ma cook some recipes and share when I find, you know, good vegan food." And that's how it started. And nobody was watching. I was like, "It's 33 people on here,

Tabitha Brown 23:04 Lord, while I'm cooking live. You said thousands in minutes. Where are they?" I would, I would cry 'cause I'd be like, "I don't know why God asked me doing this. I don't know what I'm doing." And, you know, that was August of 2017. And I think by October I started, um, I was feeling so much better I started driving Uber-

Lewis Howes 23:21 Mm

Tabitha Brown 23:21 ... 'cause I didn't go back to work. I'd been on disability for over a year, and so I told my husband-

Lewis Howes 23:24 Wow, really?

Tabitha Brown 23:24 ... I was like, "Mm-hmm" I was like, "I don't wanna go back to a 9:00 to 5:00. I'ma just see what God got out here for me. I'm in LA, I'ma drive Uber, probably pick up a producer or director. They gonna love me. I'll call you from set." [laughs] That's how I think. I'm like, "I'm about to get discovered in my car out here in LA"

Lewis Howes 23:40 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 23:40 Um, in December 30th of 2017 I dropped somebody off by Whole Foods driving Uber that morning. Went in there and got me a, um, breakfast sandwich 'cause I was still, you know, vegan, new to being vegan, but Whole Foods always got a vegan option. So I was like, "I'ma go in here and get me breakfast." Had never heard of vegan bacon at that time. They had a sandwich in they, uh, you know, the prepared food section, and it was called a, a TLTA, and it was like tempeh bacon and lettuce, tomato, avocado. I was like, "Oh, I ain't never heard of that. Throw me a little pickle on there, honey, and a little onion and stuff." Ate the first half so fast I was like, "Oh, wait, I need to do a video to tell people I found a new vegan option." Sat in my car 'cause I was on my Uber break, did a video, posted it, went on back to driving Uber. By the time I got home that video had like 50,000 views. I was like-

Lewis Howes 24:24 Wow

Tabitha Brown 24:24 ... "Who watching this video?" Next morning, over 100-something thousand. I was like... I told my husband, I said, "I think I'm going viral." He was like, "What that mean?" I was like, "I don't know." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 24:33 [laughs] People are watching though. Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 24:34 Exactly. He was like, "You gonna make any money?" I was like, "I have no idea." Four days later, Whole Foods reached out, and they were like, "We saw your video." On Facebook, they DM-ed me. And they were like, "We would love to work with you." And I became they brand ambassador for plant-based living, did over 15 campaigns, and-

Lewis Howes 24:50 Wow

Tabitha Brown 24:50 ... the rest is history. Yep. Honey, I ain't drove Uber since, but I will if I have to, but I, I haven't. And my life has been on this journey ever since.

Lewis Howes 24:59 That's amazing.

Tabitha Brown 24:59 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 24:59 So December, 2017.

Tabitha Brown 25:02 Mm-hmm, December 30 of 2017.

Lewis Howes 25:04 And you started making videos a couple months prior.

Tabitha Brown 25:06 August, mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 25:07 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 25:07 Yep.

Lewis Howes 25:08 Isn't it interesting? What if after, like, a month of, of doing these videos, you just said, "You know what? This isn't working. I'm not getting thousands of views right away"-

Tabitha Brown 25:15 Yeah

Lewis Howes 25:15 ... "so I'm gonna stop."

Tabitha Brown 25:16 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 25:17 Where do you think your life would be if you stopped af- a day before you post that video, just said, "I don't wanna do this anymore. It's not working right away. You know, God said it would happen right away. It's not happening. I'm gonna stop." Where do you think your life would be?

Tabitha Brown 25:30 Um, I'd probably be working. You know, still auditioning, but I'd be working a nine to five.

Lewis Howes 25:35 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 25:36 Yep, I'd still be pursuing the dream of acting. And the, the thing about acting is, and I, and I told you this before, that used to be my, my only focus, right? I had put myself in this box where all I thought about was, like, oh, I wanna be a series regular, or you know, of course, I would love to be a, you know, the, the lead in a film. Those were my big break ideas. And God was like, "You can do that. You can do that, Tabitha. You can do that. But let me show you what I can do."

Lewis Howes 26:05 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 26:07 This is what he can do. This is my fourth book, but my third NEW YORK TIMES bestseller.

Lewis Howes 26:11 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 26:12 I never, ever even had a idea to write a book.

Lewis Howes 26:14 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 26:15 Right? I have seasonings. I have a haircare line. I have a major, uh, partnership with Target. I have my own food, my own clothes, my own furniture.

Lewis Howes 26:25 [sighs]

Tabitha Brown 26:26 Right? I have all these things that I never imagined, and that's because God says, "It's more than what you can imagine if you trust me." And so I do.

Lewis Howes 26:36 Wow. This is inspiring. [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 26:39 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 26:39 This is inspiring.

Tabitha Brown 26:40 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 26:41 If someone is feeling, maybe not like in a complete depression or completely sick or completely out of it, but they just know there's something more for them-

Tabitha Brown 26:50 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 26:51 ... maybe their relationships aren't, aren't where they want them to be, or maybe their career is just off a little bit-

Tabitha Brown 26:55 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 26:56 ... or they just feel like, "I just don't feel like the fire inside of me is driving me to where I need to be". You talk about 30 Days to Living Free. What's the first few steps someone can take in starting to live free-

Tabitha Brown 27:08 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 27:09 ... to get that alignment back inside of them?

Tabitha Brown 27:12 Yeah, it's so funny because this is why I started this challenge, right? This is a challenge that I started in 2014 'cause I was trying to... 'Cause what you're describing is feeling stuck.

Lewis Howes 27:21 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 27:22 Right? It's like you know there's something else, but you don't know what it is. We get in such a routine that we forget we haven't done anything outside of our routine for so long. So I always say, start with doing something new. It can be as simple as driving a different way to work or a different way to a friend's house, whatever, or walking a different way, just so that your eyes can see something it has never seen before.

Lewis Howes 27:46 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 27:47 Something new that shifts the brain.

Lewis Howes 27:48 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 27:48 Right? Um, like, even wearing something you normally don't wear. Like for me, I always tell people, "If you wear black all the time, throw some color on."

Lewis Howes 27:57 I gotta throw some color on soon.

Tabitha Brown 27:59 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 27:59 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 27:59 Right. Like for me, I don't like wearing black, but I found this, and I was like, it got a little color on it.

Lewis Howes 28:03 It's cool.

Tabitha Brown 28:04 I'm doing a new thing.

Lewis Howes 28:04 Yeah, yeah.

Tabitha Brown 28:05 Right? And so it's little things, even trying a new food.

Lewis Howes 28:09 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 28:10 You know, going to, uh, dinner or lunch by yourself. You know how many people are afraid to eat alone?

Lewis Howes 28:15 I know.

Tabitha Brown 28:16 Doing things that challenge you, that will open up a new space inside of you. That's what doing a new thing does for us, and that's how we start to think, oh, okay. And then going back to, like, what is your dream? Like, what's a thing that won't let you rest? And I, and I talked about

Tabitha Brown 28:33 this recently, because people sometimes, they get confused by a dream versus a goal. Goals are things that we create. Dreams are deposited inside of us.

Lewis Howes 28:43 Let's go.

Tabitha Brown 28:44 We don't make 'em up. They live there. That's why we can't rest because they, they constantly nagging us. A goal, you can be like, "I ain't make that goal," or, "I did it, Chet." But the dream won't let you rest. Even when you, even when you manifest it and it comes, it still is persistent. There's more to do until we are getting, you know, called home.

Lewis Howes 29:04 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 29:04 The dream is just... It lives inside of us.

Lewis Howes 29:06 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 29:07 It's, it's born inside of us. So I always say do one small thing every day towards your dream. Even if you're stuck in the nine to five job or in a relationship that, you know, or, or, um, business, whatever the case is, that makes you feel like, oh, I don't have time to do something towards me, right? Which we all are worthy of doing-

Lewis Howes 29:28 Mm-hmm

Tabitha Brown 29:28 ... something toward ourself every day.

Lewis Howes 29:30 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 29:31 Do one small thing, whether it's reading something that can help open up, you know, an idea in your mind to help you get closer to your dream, uh, whether it's watching a movie or a TV show or listening to a podcast that can help inspire or open up something in your mind, something small every day.

Lewis Howes 29:48 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 29:49 One little thing.

Lewis Howes 29:50 There's a lot of people I feel like that want to be... They wanna achieve their dreams or be successful so quickly, you know?

Tabitha Brown 29:57 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 29:57 If they haven't made it by 27, it's like they're a failure.

Tabitha Brown 30:01 I don't know who put that time frame on us.

Lewis Howes 30:03 Right?

Tabitha Brown 30:03 Lord.

Lewis Howes 30:04 But you, you, you know, you started to really gain traction in your late 30s, early 40s, right?

Tabitha Brown 30:08 Mm-hmm. Yes.

Lewis Howes 30:10 What was the biggest lesson for you for, I guess, having success later in your 30s and early 40s versus in 20s?

Tabitha Brown 30:18 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 30:18 What did you learn about yourself?

Tabitha Brown 30:20 I learned that I was not ready when I thought I was.

Lewis Howes 30:24 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 30:24 [laughs] I wouldn't had nothing to show for it, right? Um, I needed to do, as my daddy would say, "Keep on living." I needed to do more living, um, before it came-

Lewis Howes 30:35 Mm

Tabitha Brown 30:35 ... so that I could, A, know how to pray for it, right? 'Cause a lot of times I, I used to pray, pray, pray for all these things to happen. "Oh, God, I want my dreams to come true," and, you know, I'm fasting, I'm praying on it, but I was never praying, "God, when I get it, prepare me to keep it."

Lewis Howes 30:51 Let's go. This is the biggest challenge for-

Tabitha Brown 30:54 Yeah

Lewis Howes 30:54 ... a lot of people. I l- I'm so glad you said this because early on, I was probably 25, 26, I remember being broke living on my sister's couch for-

Tabitha Brown 31:01 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 31:01 ... a year and a half.

Tabitha Brown 31:02 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 31:02 No money.

Tabitha Brown 31:02 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 31:03 And I had a mentor at the time that I was working for for free, learning from him, and I was like, "Man, I'm really struggling. I could really use some money right now."

Tabitha Brown 31:11 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 31:11 And he said, "Money comes to you when you're ready for it."

Tabitha Brown 31:14 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 31:15 I was like, "I feel pretty ready."

Tabitha Brown 31:16 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 31:16 You know, "I feel ready for this." But he's like, "It'll come to you when you're ready for it, otherwise if you get it too early, you'll probably lose it."

Tabitha Brown 31:23 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 31:23 And I think it's similar to, like, having a dream. Like, if you're not prepared for-

Tabitha Brown 31:26 I know it

Lewis Howes 31:27 ... success-

Tabitha Brown 31:28 Yeah

Lewis Howes 31:28 ... or prepared for the pressures that might come with it-

Tabitha Brown 31:30 Yeah

Lewis Howes 31:30 ... you might cause,

Lewis Howes 31:32 you might sabotage it. You might lose it.

Tabitha Brown 31:34 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 31:34 You might squander it. You might not be ready for all of the responsibility, the weight-

Tabitha Brown 31:40 Yeah

Lewis Howes 31:40 ... that potentially could come with it, right?

Tabitha Brown 31:41 That's right.

Lewis Howes 31:42 So you don't feel like you would've been ready for it in your 20s or-

Tabitha Brown 31:44 No

Lewis Howes 31:44 ... early 30s, right?

Tabitha Brown 31:44 Oh, absolutely not. I wasn't ready for everything I was gonna gain.

Lewis Howes 31:48 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 31:49 I also wasn't ready for everything I was gonna lose.

Lewis Howes 31:51 What did you lose?

Tabitha Brown 31:52 Friendships, relationships, right? Um, things that, uh, people that I thought I would have in my life forever, and when I started walking in my freedom, they started to disappear.

Lewis Howes 32:05 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 32:06 But God revealed to me, he said, "Everybody's not ready to walk in their freedom."

Lewis Howes 32:09 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 32:09 "So being close to you while you're in yours is disturbing their spirit."

Lewis Howes 32:12 Oh.

Tabitha Brown 32:13 And I couldn't allow that to affect me in a way that I know it would've affected me in my 20s or early 30s.

Lewis Howes 32:18 Oh, my gosh.

Tabitha Brown 32:19 But in this 45, I'm all right with it. I love them, but I understand.

Lewis Howes 32:24 45, feeling alive.

Tabitha Brown 32:26 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 32:27 I am.

Tabitha Brown 32:27 Right.

Lewis Howes 32:27 45, feeling alive.

Tabitha Brown 32:29 Yep, yep.

Lewis Howes 32:29 Wow. So man, I can resonate with that because, you know, in my teens or my early 20s, there were certain relationships that I had formed that made me feel good and safe.

Tabitha Brown 32:39 Mm.

Lewis Howes 32:39 Right?

Tabitha Brown 32:40 Yep. Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 32:41 And I remember losing relationships almost every few years.

Tabitha Brown 32:44 Mm-hmm, yeah.

Lewis Howes 32:45 And I would be really sad that I was losing these relationships.

Tabitha Brown 32:48 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 32:49 That people wouldn't call me back or they didn't wanna hang out anymore.

Tabitha Brown 32:52 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 32:52 But I also know that I was in such a pursuit of my mission, in pursuing things, that later I found out, that some of my friends told me, like, it, it scared them, right? Because I was pursuing certain things and they weren't pursuing the things they wanted.

Tabitha Brown 33:07 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 33:08 So I felt really hurt that they didn't wanna hang out anymore.

Tabitha Brown 33:10 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 33:10 But it also kind of set me free to have more time for mentors or people that were wiser or older than me-

Tabitha Brown 33:17 Yeah

Lewis Howes 33:17 ... who I could learn from and build relationships with them to give me counsel-

Tabitha Brown 33:21 Yes

Lewis Howes 33:22 ... and to kind of guide me-

Tabitha Brown 33:23 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 33:24 ... forward.

Tabitha Brown 33:25 That's right.

Lewis Howes 33:25 And, um, that's the one of the most challenging things I think is leaving the friend tribe-

Tabitha Brown 33:30 Yeah

Lewis Howes 33:30 ... when you want to bring people with you-

Tabitha Brown 33:33 Ooh

Lewis Howes 33:34 ... but they may not be ready-

Tabitha Brown 33:35 Everybody can't go

Lewis Howes 33:36 ... for your next level. They can't all go.

Tabitha Brown 33:37 Everybody can't go. I, you know, I feel like a lot of times we, uh, we feel bad because we're, we, especially when you love people. I'm, I love people.

Lewis Howes 33:46 Me too.

Tabitha Brown 33:47 I'm a, I'm a people lover.

Lewis Howes 33:48 If you're a loyal person-

Tabitha Brown 33:49 Yes

Lewis Howes 33:49 ... all these things, right?

Tabitha Brown 33:50 And you always wanna turn around and bring them back. And, and God, uh, revealed one day to me, he said, "Listen, everyone who you need to bring along, you don't have to turn around to get them."

Lewis Howes 33:58 [laughs] Oh, wow.

Tabitha Brown 34:00 He said, "'Cause when you turn around, that's when you get distracted from-

Lewis Howes 34:02 Oh

Tabitha Brown 34:02 ... and you gotta keep your eye forward. The moment you do this, you might've just crashed." He said, "The people who are supposed to come, all you gotta do is go like this. You never gotta turn around. They right there. They right there." It's just like a, a handoff of a baton. You watch a, a, a marathon.

Lewis Howes 34:16 Uh-huh.

Tabitha Brown 34:16 They never turning around

Tabitha Brown 34:18 to g- reach for it. They just right here.

Lewis Howes 34:19 Right.

Tabitha Brown 34:20 So the ones who are supposed to come with you, you don't have to turn around to go get them.

Lewis Howes 34:25 So you've been married for 20-plus years, right?

Tabitha Brown 34:27 Mm-hmm, yep.

Lewis Howes 34:28 How has that worked with your relationship and marriage-

Tabitha Brown 34:31 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 34:31 ... you know, with you and your husband? Have you, did you have struggle when you started to step into your authentic self? Because you became a different person.

Tabitha Brown 34:39 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 34:39 Maybe you became the person you always were.

Tabitha Brown 34:41 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 34:41 Right? Was there ever challenges in your marriage or relationship as you started to thrive?

Tabitha Brown 34:47 Um-

Lewis Howes 34:47 Or was there alignment right away and just like everything was perfect?

Tabitha Brown 34:50 Oh, honey, listen, my husband was so happy. He was like, "Finally."

Lewis Howes 34:53 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 34:54 "The world get to see who I know."

Lewis Howes 34:56 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 34:57 Yeah. I mean, for years he hated the industry of Hollywood because he saw how it changed me.

Lewis Howes 35:02 Right.

Tabitha Brown 35:02 He would always say, "Why you can't just be you?" He would, I mean, it would be all the time. "Why you can't just be Tab that we know, the same Tab that, that talk to your daddy?" And I'd be like, "That ain't what they want. I gotta be this Tab." It, those were the arguments, and all the nos I would get and all the hard work. I would be studying and going to class, and he'd be like, "You doing all of this and they still don't like you."

Lewis Howes 35:27 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 35:27 So he hated the industry for a long time. So when I became free and started walking in my freedom walk, he was like, "Now the world gets to see who I love." And I was like, "You was kinda right about it I guess all along." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 35:42 [laughs] You was probably right, yeah.

Tabitha Brown 35:43 But no, it, it actually has made our relationship better and stronger.

Lewis Howes 35:46 Mm, that's great.

Tabitha Brown 35:47 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 35:47 I think Jim Carrey had a quote, I'm gonna paraphrase it, where he said-

Tabitha Brown 35:51 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 35:51 ... like, his father got fired from a career that he didn't love.

Tabitha Brown 35:54 Mm.

Lewis Howes 35:55 And that it wasn't his main thing he wanted to do. He always wanted to be a comedian, but he never pursued the dream.

Tabitha Brown 35:59 Mm.

Lewis Howes 36:00 And he said, uh, something like his, you know, you can get fired at what you're, you don't love or what you're not good at, so you might as well go after what you do love.

Tabitha Brown 36:08 Yes.

Lewis Howes 36:08 You know, it's kinda like you.

Tabitha Brown 36:09 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 36:09 It's like people weren't choosing you for who you weren't, so you might as well be who you wanna be.

Tabitha Brown 36:13 Exactly, yep.

Lewis Howes 36:14 And get not chosen for who you are.

Tabitha Brown 36:16 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 36:16 Right?

Tabitha Brown 36:17 100%.

Lewis Howes 36:17 Um, you know, something you brought up earlier about the walking in the hallway closing your eyes, it reminded me of the Helen Keller quote, I'm paraphrasing, where she said something like, um, "A lot of people have sight but no vision."

Tabitha Brown 36:33 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 36:34 And you were, like, able to close your eyes and visualize-

Tabitha Brown 36:37 Yeah

Lewis Howes 36:37 ... you know, literally walking and not hitting the walls.

Tabitha Brown 36:40 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 36:40 But also visualizing the dream-

Tabitha Brown 36:42 Yeah

Lewis Howes 36:42 ... that you had for yourself in those moments.

Tabitha Brown 36:45 Absolutely.

Lewis Howes 36:45 Like, you were able to have vision- A lot of us are seeing, but we don't have vision.

Tabitha Brown 36:49 Right.

Lewis Howes 36:50 What do you think is blocking us from having true vision?

Tabitha Brown 36:53 I think a lack of faith, right? 'Cause faith is, you know, believing things unseen, right? So I think that, um, y- you know, what, what, what is the word, is walk by faith not by sight.

Tabitha Brown 37:06 And so I have faith in the things I feel.

Lewis Howes 37:10 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 37:10 The things that I believe. I have faith that they're gonna work.

Lewis Howes 37:13 Even if you haven't seen them yet?

Tabitha Brown 37:14 Even if I haven't seen them, right? I've never seen God's face, but I believe, right? I've, I've heard a voice. I believe. I have faith in the, in the visions that He has shown me in my dreams or while I'm awake. I have faith in those things. I believe in confirmation, right? I, I remember, uh, people used to, uh, ask me and, and still ask me often, "How did you keep going after all this? I mean, it took you over 20 years to get to success. Like, on the moments where you, you know, felt like giving up, like, what were the things that kept you going?" And I always tell people, I, I would look at the signs of confirmation, right? I remember I used to work in a, a, a staffing company in Greensboro, North Carolina, and I was on my lunch break, went through the drive-through, and a little guy, um, when I got to the drive-through to pay, he was like, "Hey." I was like, "Hey." He was like, "Aren't you the lady on the show? Aren't you on the, um, like, Nickelodeon or something like that?" I was like, "Uh, no, I work at Selective Staffing [laughs] off of High Point Road." He was like, "Okay." I was like, "Okay?" He was like, "No, don't you have the show with the, with the kids?" I was like, "I don't know what you're talking about, honey. I must look like somebody." And I remember thinking like-

Lewis Howes 38:33 Huh

Tabitha Brown 38:34 ... why did he say that? You know, back then and, and God spoke to my spirit and said, "'Cause he can see your destiny." So little moments like that would confirm, and we're talking 2003, 2004 when that happened. I just won an Emmy for my children's show-

Lewis Howes 38:48 Wow

Tabitha Brown 38:48 ... that I didn't even dream of having all 20 years later. I'd have never thought I was gonna have a children's show. It was confirmation.

Lewis Howes 39:00 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 39:00 Right? So if we pay attention to the little signs. I remember thinking like I, I used to work, um, at a, a nursing home, assisted living home, and we had to wear our uniforms. It was like khaki pants and, and polo shirts, and I worked the night shift. And it was hard. It was hard.

Lewis Howes 39:17 That shift was hard.

Tabitha Brown 39:18 This was like 2010.

Lewis Howes 39:19 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 39:19 And I remember I would take breaks and, you know, go to the bathroom, put water on my face, 'cause overnight you working at 11:00 at night to 7:00 in the morning, and I'm trying to stay awake, and I would just stare at myself in the mirror, and some days I would just cry. I'd be like, I can... I'd look at myself, and for a s- a flash I would see myself on a red carpet. And I would be like, "I'm clearly in khakis-

Lewis Howes 39:40 Ah

Tabitha Brown 39:40 ... and a blue polo." But for a quick second I could see, I could see myself. I said, "Something is coming." And it would just give me this boost. I would just get excited. I would get so excited. And I know from being there, I, so many, uh, things happened, very supernatural things, and I used to be like, "God, why?" 'Cause I kept getting drawn to go work in the nursing home. My mother, uh, w- was a hospice worker. She was a social worker. But as a kid she always taught me

Tabitha Brown 40:11 to respect our elders and just understand how much wisdom they hold, right? And so I would read to them when I was a kid.

Lewis Howes 40:18 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 40:18 So after she passed away, I had this urge to go work in a nursing home, and specifically the night shift, which was crazy, right? So all these supernatural things would happen when I was there, and I feel like God had me there because one day I'll make a show about it, right? Also because seniors and elderly people are the best people in the world. They are the funniest. They, they don't care. There's no more fear. They don't care about what you think about them. They've seen it all, done it all, right? Um, and so sometimes I think the flash that I saw of myself on these, like, red carpets and, like, lights and stuff, maybe it's because I'll do a s- show, I'll create a show about my experience there.

Lewis Howes 41:03 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 41:03 And then I'll win, you know, maybe some awards or something for it. I don't know. But little things like that were always signs for me. So I always tell people, "Look for your signs." Sometime you can be, I don't know, you know, talking to a friend that you have a certain relationship with, but you don't tell them your dreams, but they may say to you one day just out of nowhere, "You ever thought about doing such and such?" And it's the thing that lives inside of you. That's your sign. You never told them that.

Lewis Howes 41:29 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 41:30 How did they, how did they say that? That's your sign.

Lewis Howes 41:33 Right.

Tabitha Brown 41:34 That's confirmation. That's how you keep going. Look for your signs.

Lewis Howes 41:38 You have a quote that I saw, said, "Obedience is better than sacrifice."

Tabitha Brown 41:42 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 41:43 What does that mean?

Tabitha Brown 41:44 Ooh, honey, because obedience is the thing that is hard to do, right? It's hard to be obedient sometimes because [laughs] sometimes we wanna be in control. You know that feeling you get under your, that, that gut feeling, as we call it? I call that the gift under the tummy. That's what I say gut stands for.

Lewis Howes 42:02 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 42:03 'Cause we all got it. That's obedience, obeying that. Like, when something is happening, you gotta make a decision. You gotta be obedient. Sometimes it's not the thing you wanna sacrifice to do. Sometimes it's a thing that you have to be obedient and do so that you can go to the next place. 'Cause I think that we all have a certain, um, amount of grace God gives us all, but I feel like we can, we can get at a, a road that has a, a left and a right. Sacrifice is to the left. Obedience is to the right. He also gives us the grace to make a decision. One turn might get us there quicker.

Lewis Howes 42:46 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 42:46 Blessings may feel better The other turn may be a whole different uncomfortable ride.

Lewis Howes 42:52 Really?

Tabitha Brown 42:53 Right? So obedience is better than sacrifice.

Lewis Howes 42:56 Where, where was a time in your life where you sacrificed as opposed to were obedient, and what happened for you?

Tabitha Brown 43:04 So many times. [laughs] I mean, about 20 years I was living a lot of sacrifice. Um-

Lewis Howes 43:09 And what's, uh,

Lewis Howes 43:10 what's... How's it look different for someone when they do something based on making a sacrifice-

Tabitha Brown 43:15 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 43:15 ... and maybe they think they're supposed to do this-

Tabitha Brown 43:18 Yeah

Lewis Howes 43:18 ... versus being obedient?

Tabitha Brown 43:20 I think sometimes we could say some people, you know how you may wanna start a business, right? And so you may sell your house, but something inside you feels like, "Oh, this might, this is not right." But you make the sacrifice and you do it anyway. Business fails. You ignore the obedience.

Lewis Howes 43:40 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 43:40 You, you ignore the thing that said, "Don't do it that way" because you thought you were in control and that your way, your idea was better.

Lewis Howes 43:49 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 43:50 Right? And sometime it's hard to decipher like is this my thinking or is this the gift? Is this, is this God speaking to me? Is this the thing that lives inside of me, right? And so I always say like if you can come up with the idea, and you can write it down, and, you know, it's great, you can kinda come back to it, but you can also kinda forget about it a little bit, that's you thinking.

Lewis Howes 44:13 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 44:14 But if He's giving it to you, it's not gonna let you rest. It's gonna keep on nagging.

Lewis Howes 44:20 Nagging.

Tabitha Brown 44:21 And also signs will come to confirm it. And like I said before, He ain't complicated. It's a little bit easier sometimes. Sometimes there's roadblocks.

Lewis Howes 44:31 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 44:31 'Cause, now there are roadblocks sometimes, but if we read the sign on the roadblock, it may not be a roadblock. It may just be, okay, there's a little bump here. But read the sign. You can still go this way, it's just gonna be a little bit harder. Reward will be greater later.

Lewis Howes 44:44 Ah.

Tabitha Brown 44:45 But we just gotta make sure we know which, which way we're going.

Lewis Howes 44:47 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 44:48 Um, and so I've, I've done that many times, but every time I've went against that thing, I get burned every time.

Lewis Howes 44:56 Really?

Tabitha Brown 44:56 Oh, every time. Something doesn't work out. It just doesn't. I remember, and this happened recently. I had, um, an opportunity to go in business with somebody to do a restaurant. And absolutely love my business partner. His name is Nemen. Love him. I- he has a restaurant in Chicago that I fell in love with, Kelmene. And so he was like, "Ah, I wanna open one in, uh, in LA." I was like, "I'll be your business partner." I ain't never did restaurant business.

Lewis Howes 45:19 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 45:20 I, I did food, but I ain't never did restaurant business.

Lewis Howes 45:22 Ugh, that's hard.

Tabitha Brown 45:22 Like, I didn't know all this stuff, right? But I was like, "I know I can get people to come" type of thing. And so I invested and did it. A lot of things happened with this, this building, a lot of things happened that we couldn't keep the business open.

Lewis Howes 45:39 Really?

Tabitha Brown 45:39 Right? And so while we were in the process of, before we ever opened, I, I kept coming to him, I was like, "I don't know, I got a feeling, um, maybe this is not the right location." And he kept saying, "Oh, no, no, no. I know it is." And he had his reasons. He had his o- his own reasons. And so I said, "Okay. We'll go with it." And my prayer was, "God, if it's not meant to be, don't let it last."

Lewis Howes 46:04 Ended quick.

Tabitha Brown 46:05 And baby, it ended quick.

Lewis Howes 46:06 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 46:07 It was grand opening, grand closing. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 46:09 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 46:09 That's how it felt, yeah. But I had so

Tabitha Brown 46:12 much peace with it-

Lewis Howes 46:12 That's good

Tabitha Brown 46:12 ... 'cause I knew. I was like, "I went against the, the gift."

Lewis Howes 46:16 Yeah. But-

Tabitha Brown 46:17 But he's still doing amazing and successful with his restaurant in Chicago, so.

Lewis Howes 46:20 That's great.

Tabitha Brown 46:20 Yep.

Lewis Howes 46:21 And it's almost, you know, the greatest blessing had, you went against your obedience-

Tabitha Brown 46:25 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 46:25 ... but it ended quickly. It didn't go on for-

Tabitha Brown 46:29 Yeah

Lewis Howes 46:29 ... five years of misery.

Tabitha Brown 46:30 Right.

Lewis Howes 46:31 Like at least it ended within a year or something.

Tabitha Brown 46:33 Oh, yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:33 And it was, okay, I only lost a little bit and it didn't work out.

Tabitha Brown 46:36 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:36 It didn't take all my time and energy-

Tabitha Brown 46:38 Yeah

Lewis Howes 46:39 ... as opposed to years, where some people are disobedient and they stay in a relationship for 20 years too long.

Tabitha Brown 46:44 Oh, honey, yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:45 Or they stay in a business because they have pride. "Well, I started this and I wanna make sure it doesn't fail."

Tabitha Brown 46:51 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:51 And they go against obedience, and they suffer more.

Tabitha Brown 46:55 Yeah. And then the hope is that when you come out of it, that you learned.

Lewis Howes 47:01 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 47:01 Right? 'Cause I definitely learned. To me, it was like God is saying, "Okay. Now remember, I've already shown you this."

Lewis Howes 47:05 Yeah. Don't do it again.

Tabitha Brown 47:06 Don't do it again.

Lewis Howes 47:06 Or it might be more painful. [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 47:07 Or you know what's gonna happen. Exactly. So yeah.

Lewis Howes 47:09 Might be more painful.

Tabitha Brown 47:10 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 47:11 How did you know you were prepared and ready for the pressure and the weight of the success that came your way or the abundance that started coming your way, you know, five, six years ago?

Tabitha Brown 47:21 Um, I think because I didn't necessarily know I was necessarily ready. But [laughs] I felt normal.

Lewis Howes 47:34 Hmm.

Tabitha Brown 47:34 If it makes sense. You know, my husband used to say, uh, [laughs] he talks about this sometime, for, you know, we've been together for 26 years this year, so he's been with me since I've been pursuing acting and all that stuff in entertainment. And when we first moved to LA, it didn't matter what I auditioned for, this is it. I would come home and be like, "This gonna be it. Honey, I know this is the role that's gonna take me here." It could've been a short film, it could've been a commercial.

Lewis Howes 48:01 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 48:01 Whatever it was was always the thing.

Lewis Howes 48:04 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 48:04 And I would come home just overly excited like, "Oh, I can't wait. We're gonna win the film fest." Like, I would just be all over the place excited. And that went on for years, right?

Lewis Howes 48:13 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 48:15 This stuff started happening, uh, in the last, we'll say the last, you know, five years. But about three years ago, 2020, things really just went crazy.

Lewis Howes 48:26 Took off.

Tabitha Brown 48:27 So much was happening. I mean, campaigns, money, brand deals, products, everything. And I was very calm, very grateful, always in a state of gratitude, but very calm. So my husband came to me, he said, "Hey, listen, I'm a little concerned." I said, "Why? What's going on?" He was like, "So for years when you was doing the acting thing and, and when you were not making money, we were struggling." You would be so excited, so, so, so excited about, oh, this is it, this is it. And it wasn't it. He said, "Now, this is it, and you're not-

Lewis Howes 49:04 Excited

Tabitha Brown 49:05 ... excited the same way." And I said, "Oh." I said, "Oh, I get it now." I said, because back then, my

Tabitha Brown 49:13 flesh was excited, and I was all over the place, but my spirit was like, "Girl, no, no, no. You gotta keep on going. This ain't it."

Lewis Howes 49:20 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 49:20 "This, this not it." I said, but now my spirit and flesh, we are in alignment, so this feels like home.

Lewis Howes 49:28 Your-

Tabitha Brown 49:28 It feels normal to me.

Lewis Howes 49:29 Yeah, your nervous system is safer.

Tabitha Brown 49:31 It's, it's safe. It feels like, oh, I feel balanced. I was out of balance before 'cause I wasn't in alignment. I said, so now I can be in a full state of gratitude. I cry a lot 'cause I'm so happy, but I'm not all over the place.

Lewis Howes 49:45 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 49:46 I was like, so now I know this is what God had prepared me for.

Lewis Howes 49:51 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 49:51 So I feel at peace. And so it, it gives me... When we're at peace, and we have a, a understanding that I'm doing what God has, has planned for me and has purposed me to do, I know I'm ready for it.

Lewis Howes 50:05 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 50:06 Yeah. I also don't have a, a problem saying no. That's how you really know when you're ready.

Lewis Howes 50:11 Yeah. When someone's trying to give you money, and you're saying, "I'm good."

Tabitha Brown 50:12 And you be like, "No, I'm all right. God bless y'all. I'm all right."

Lewis Howes 50:15 That's big. That's a big move.

Tabitha Brown 50:16 Yeah, yeah.

Lewis Howes 50:17 That's like-

Tabitha Brown 50:18 Yeah. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 50:18 ... obedience at a high level.

Tabitha Brown 50:20 Yeah, 'cause I said no to a whole lot of things, um, in the beginning of this journey before money started coming in. Um, and it was money, good money, and I was like, "That's not in alignment where God is taking me."

Lewis Howes 50:33 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 50:34 I gotta say, I gotta pass on it. And that's how I knew that I really was living and believing what God has for me is for me.

Lewis Howes 50:42 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 50:42 Because I be like, "We need that money," but I don't, I, I'm not gonna sacrifice.

Lewis Howes 50:47 I'm so glad.

Tabitha Brown 50:48 I'm gonna have to be obedient.

Lewis Howes 50:48 Yeah, that's so good because, you know, we've been doing this show for 11 years.

Tabitha Brown 50:51 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 50:52 And we've never taken... I've never been drunk in my life or high. I don't, just don't do drugs or anything.

Tabitha Brown 50:56 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 50:57 And we've had different, you know, gambling companies or alcohol companies always wanting to sponsor.

Tabitha Brown 51:03 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 51:03 And I've just said no to all of it.

Tabitha Brown 51:04 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 51:04 And they've got big money.

Tabitha Brown 51:06 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 51:06 I'm like, okay, that money could be nice, and I could hire more people and do these things.

Tabitha Brown 51:09 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 51:10 But i- if it's not in alignment with me, it just doesn't feel right. Not saying that-

Tabitha Brown 51:14 That's right

Lewis Howes 51:14 ... other people shouldn't take that-

Tabitha Brown 51:15 Right

Lewis Howes 51:15 ... you know, if it feels good to them.

Tabitha Brown 51:15 It could be for somebody, that's somebody else's blessing.

Lewis Howes 51:17 Exactly.

Tabitha Brown 51:17 If that's not for you. That's right.

Lewis Howes 51:19 And I feel like I feel good even though I haven't taken that type of money or those opportunities.

Tabitha Brown 51:25 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 51:26 And I feel like it's growing in the way that I want it to grow, you know? It do- I don't need those things.

Tabitha Brown 51:30 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 51:31 And I think that's really hard for people to say no-

Tabitha Brown 51:33 Yeah

Lewis Howes 51:34 ... when it's out of alignment.

Tabitha Brown 51:35 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 51:36 And so that's, that's, that's challenging to do.

Tabitha Brown 51:38 Yeah, it is when you, you have to get to a place where you can do that. But I also understand desperation.

Lewis Howes 51:45 Yeah, yeah.

Tabitha Brown 51:45 Right?

Lewis Howes 51:45 You might have to take stuff-

Tabitha Brown 51:46 Sometime- Yeah. I mean, back in the day, I, some of the movies and stuff I've done from way back, I'd be like, "Oh, Lord."

Lewis Howes 51:52 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 51:53 But I was like, "I got paid $500 to do that, or $5,000", and that 5,000 was the only money I made for six months.

Lewis Howes 52:00 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 52:00 Right? So I'm grateful for all of it, though.

Lewis Howes 52:04 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 52:04 Because it's my story.

Lewis Howes 52:05 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 52:06 You know? I did scripts that were terrible and, you know, I

Tabitha Brown 52:09 thought were funny. And now I'm like, "Oh, God, it was not funny." You know, just learning.

Lewis Howes 52:14 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 52:14 But that's, that's my, that's my story to tell.

Lewis Howes 52:17 Yes.

Tabitha Brown 52:17 You know? And that's also can help inspire somebody else that is in that season in their life.

Lewis Howes 52:22 100%.

Tabitha Brown 52:23 We all go through different seasons.

Lewis Howes 52:24 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 52:25 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 52:25 What have you learned about the keys to having a, a healthy relationship and successful marriage?

Tabitha Brown 52:32 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 52:33 When you didn't have the success, the fame, the notoriety, you know, for the first, I guess, 15 years-

Tabitha Brown 52:40 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 52:40 ... to now having more of that, what have you learned? As one person in the relationship, you know, gets more famous and successful and financially well off, what, what have you learned, or what advice would you give others in relationships?

Tabitha Brown 52:53 For us, it's always been we all we got.

Lewis Howes 52:56 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 52:57 Right? Um, you know the saying, "Don't believe the hype"? I live by that.

Lewis Howes 53:02 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 53:02 Don't believe the hype. My husband, w- we are our foundation. That's where it begins. It's God first, and then us, right? Then the children and all the things. But together, we can do everything together. You know, my husband was, uh, we moved to LA, and so that I could pursue my dreams. For 15 years, he was a, a Los Angeles police officer.

Lewis Howes 53:27 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 53:27 He was like, "I can go get this job, and we can at least have one solid income that has benefits," you know, 'cause we had kids, "and you can pursue your dream"-

Lewis Howes 53:38 Wow

Tabitha Brown 53:38 ... "and never have to get, you know, a career, like a job job." Although I always had a job, but I might have a job for a year or two and then quit or, you know, whatever. So he sacrificed, right? He did that. And I used to tell him, "Five years, I'm gonna blow up out here in LA, and I'm gonna take you out of there." And he'd be like, "Don't, I don't care about that. I just want j- I'm fine. Pursue your dream. Pursue your dream," right? We did that together.

Lewis Howes 54:04 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 54:04 And so it didn't happen in 5 years, but after 15 years, I was like, "Listen, this don't even make sense for you to be working no more. [laughs] Please retire, like, from LAPD, and do something that you wanna do, you know, something else." So being together and never letting the noise in.

Lewis Howes 54:20 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 54:21 Like, people start believing the hype. I am Tabitha Brown only because I carry my husband's last name.

Lewis Howes 54:28 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 54:29 Right? So I am a, a wife first. Like, that's, that's what it is. Like, me and my husband, that's, that's it.

Lewis Howes 54:40 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 54:40 Everything else is added on. That's all. It's just work is work, but we never let it... I don't know how to explain it. I think that people, sometime they forget that marriage should be first. You know?

Lewis Howes 55:00 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 55:00 And for me, it's, it's family first. It's gonna always be that. My career is my bonus that I get to live.

Lewis Howes 55:08 Aw.

Tabitha Brown 55:08 Right? That, all the other things, it's the bonus.

Lewis Howes 55:11 [clears throat]

Tabitha Brown 55:12 My dream, God gave me. I also feel like my husband was part of my dream.

Lewis Howes 55:16 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 55:17 Right? That's part of who I am. Like, this is who he chose for me-

Lewis Howes 55:21 Right

Tabitha Brown 55:21 ... right, to do this life with.

Lewis Howes 55:24 What's his name?

Tabitha Brown 55:25 Chance.

Lewis Howes 55:25 Chance?

Tabitha Brown 55:26 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 55:27 What's the thing you love about Chance the most?

Tabitha Brown 55:29 Honey,

Tabitha Brown 55:30 [clears throat] he makes me feel safe, but Chance is not gonna do nothing that Chance don't wanna do. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 55:35 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 55:36 You'll be like, "Hey, you wanna go do..." "Nope, not doing that." Like, it's just, some days it gets on my nerves.

Lewis Howes 55:42 Uh-huh.

Tabitha Brown 55:43 But it's also admirable, like, "Oh, you're not easily influenced."

Lewis Howes 55:47 He's authentic-

Tabitha Brown 55:48 He, oh, oh-

Lewis Howes 55:48 ... to who he is.

Tabitha Brown 55:49 Oh, yeah.

Lewis Howes 55:49 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 55:49 Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Lewis Howes 55:51 I guess in a marriage, you're gonna have to deal with certain things you don't wanna deal with-

Tabitha Brown 55:53 Oh, yeah

Lewis Howes 55:54 ... all the time.

Tabitha Brown 55:54 Now let me tell you now.

Lewis Howes 55:55 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 55:55 There's many days, though, he get on my nerves with that. I be like, "You know what? I can't stand that about you." And then the other days, like, "I love that about you."

Lewis Howes 56:00 [laughs] Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 56:01 You know? Um, but I think another thing is he's a, a phenomenal father. I've, I've been able to witness my husband in all stages of his life, right? Yeah, we grew up together. We've known each other pretty much our whole life, since we were 10. And so I've seen him as a boy, I've seen him as a young man, and now, uh, you know, a man man. You know, and he's 45.

Lewis Howes 56:25 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 56:26 And it's been an honor to watch him evolve and grow-

Lewis Howes 56:33 Wow

Tabitha Brown 56:33 ... and mature. But fatherhood has been one of the best things to witness.

Lewis Howes 56:39 That's beautiful.

Tabitha Brown 56:40 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 56:40 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 56:41 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 56:41 Chance the man.

Tabitha Brown 56:42 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 56:43 Um, you know, you talk about fears a lot in the book, I Did a New Thing.

Tabitha Brown 56:47 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 56:48 What do you think was the biggest fear when you were not fully obedient or fully living the most authentic life that, that was meant for you? And what is the biggest fear now?

Tabitha Brown 57:02 Hmm.

Lewis Howes 57:03 Stepping into owning you 100%.

Tabitha Brown 57:06 I think the biggest fear before was, you know, dying with this thing inside of me.

Lewis Howes 57:15 [sighs]

Tabitha Brown 57:17 Like, never letting it be seen, right? Um, fear now doesn't necessarily live with me as much.

Lewis Howes 57:30 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 57:31 I don't know if I have, um, a necessary, like I don't, I don't know if I have a fear. I want to... I wanna change people, right? I want to, um, I wanna affect them in the best way possible, right? And sometimes trying to spread love and positivity, people don't wanna buy into that sometimes.

Lewis Howes 58:04 Hmm.

Tabitha Brown 58:04 And so-

Lewis Howes 58:04 Why is that?

Tabitha Brown 58:06 I think misery loves company, you know? And sometimes happiness, uh, scares people.

Lewis Howes 58:14 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 58:14 You know, you can have people that e- everything's going great, and they'll be like, "I know something bad's gonna happen." Why? We allowed to go through it either way, you know? So I think sometimes I, I don't necessarily fear it, but I am concerned.

Lewis Howes 58:30 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 58:30 Um, am I doing enough with spreading love and trying to reach people? Am I doing it the right way? Uh, even though I feel at peace about it, I always, you know, I'm in prayer like, "God, is this really what you want me to do?"

Lewis Howes 58:48 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 58:48 I wanna make sure I'm, I'm not ever being triggered to get back into being in control. 'Cause, you know, healing is a journey.

Lewis Howes 58:57 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 58:57 And so sometimes we can be triggered to going back

Tabitha Brown 59:00 to our old things, and my old thing is being I'm in control. Instead of, no, no, I'm letting God be in control, and I'm walking, and I never wanna go back.

Lewis Howes 59:11 Hmm.

Tabitha Brown 59:12 I never wanna go back.

Lewis Howes 59:14 How do you know when you're on the right path in surrender versus in control?

Tabitha Brown 59:21 Hmm. Um, I think it's that feeling. For me, it's the feeling off balance.

Lewis Howes 59:32 When you feel like you're trying to control things-

Tabitha Brown 59:34 Yeah

Lewis Howes 59:34 ... you feel more off balance.

Tabitha Brown 59:35 Yeah. And when nothing seems to be lining up, oh, Tab, you trying to do this.

Lewis Howes 59:40 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 59:40 St- step back.

Lewis Howes 59:41 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 59:42 Step back and let's, let's look at every piece of the puzzle and make sure you're not trying to create the puzzle-

Lewis Howes 59:50 Mm

Tabitha Brown 59:51 ... create the pieces, and put it all together. Sit back and, and let God do what God does. We still have to do our part, 'cause faith without work is dead, right? But still, you gotta let him orchestrate. Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:00:04 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 1:00:05 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:00:08 What do you feel like will be the thing that holds you back the most moving forward? Besides, you know, being in, trying to be in control or not be obedient, is there anything else? You, you don't have the fears anymore. What are you preparing for? Like, with the abundance coming your way, what are you preparing for to make sure you don't get in your own way?

Tabitha Brown 1:00:29 Uh, I think just staying true to who I am.

Lewis Howes 1:00:31 Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 1:00:31 Right? I don't, I don't fear, um, I don't fear or project, uh, negative.

Lewis Howes 1:00:43 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 1:00:44 Right? I, I ain't, I'm not, I'm not preparing for negative. I'm expecting the unexpected, right? Which I'm always in my mind thinking of God saying it's more than what I can imagine, right? That's greatness. That's what I'm, what I'm looking forward to. I don't look forward to, um, cloudy days, although I know they will come. But they're not, it's not something I'm like, "Oh, I'm, I'm a, I'm planning for a bad day." No, I'm planning for all good days. I'm, I'm, I am being mindful and intentional with joy.

Lewis Howes 1:01:19 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 1:01:20 Right? So I don't think... And, and listen, that may be the thing that holds me back. And if it does, then we, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But I don't plan on allowing anything to shift me outside of the position God has put me in.

Lewis Howes 1:01:40 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 1:01:40 I think that I trust God, I believe that He has me on this journey.

Lewis Howes 1:01:48 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 1:01:49 And I'm all right with whatever come my way.

Lewis Howes 1:01:51 There you go.

Tabitha Brown 1:01:52 That's just kinda how I feel about it.

Lewis Howes 1:01:54 What do you think is the greatest lesson God has taught you?

Tabitha Brown 1:01:57 I was always enough. I didn't need to try to do His job. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:02:03 [laughs]

Tabitha Brown 1:02:04 'Cause, 'cause the thing about when you conform and when you try to, you know, um, create another person, that's me saying, "God, you didn't do a good enough job on me. I had to fix me."

Lewis Howes 1:02:15 Mm.

Tabitha Brown 1:02:16 But He taught me He had did a great job and I was enough just as He created me to be.

Lewis Howes 1:02:22 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 1:02:23 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:02:25 This is inspiring.

Tabitha Brown 1:02:26 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:02:26 You've done, you've done what, three books in the last four years?

Tabitha Brown 1:02:28 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:02:28 Is that right? Three in the last four?

Tabitha Brown 1:02:29 Yeah. And a little journal, like a workbook journal, but yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:02:32 I was keeping track.

Tabitha Brown 1:02:33 I know. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:02:33 Four books in four years, yeah. Uh, this one's called I Did a New Thing by Tabitha Brown. You're a number one New York Time bestselling author, multiple New York Time bestselling author. This is all about the 30 Days to Living Free. You talk about how to really create new habits and a framework around setting yourself up for freedom, stepping into your truth, overcoming your fears. I'm exci- I'm excited for people to get a copy of I Did a New Thing.

Tabitha Brown 1:02:57 Yes, thank you.

Lewis Howes 1:02:57 What else are you most excited about these days that you're working on, and how we can support and serve you?

Tabitha Brown 1:03:02 Yes. Um, I know we were talking about it. I'm excited to get back into doing more acting.

Lewis Howes 1:03:07 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 1:03:07 And I, I, I love that, you know, sometimes, and, and this is important for somebody to hear, somebody needs to be reminded of this, sometimes we have a dream, right? But our journey to get to it doesn't always look like how we envision it. And so God took me on this whole different path that has led me back to be able to do the thing that I've been dreaming of-

Lewis Howes 1:03:26 That is interesting

Tabitha Brown 1:03:26 ... since I was a kid.

Lewis Howes 1:03:27 Wow.

Tabitha Brown 1:03:28 And so more, um, acting. I just finished a film. Um, uh, television, you know, doing things that really matter to me, making people laugh, sometime making them cry, right? That's what we do as actors, making people feel. That's it. Um, creating more products that people can use in everyday life, 'cause I think that's the most important. Uh, and I know my, I know my, my fan base. I know my, a- as I call them, my, my fam base, they my family. Um, and, you know, feeding people good food, [laughs] good recipes, but also feeding their soul with inspiration and-

Lewis Howes 1:04:06 Mm-hmm

Tabitha Brown 1:04:06 ... um, staying true, right? And I'm expanding with my haircare line. I don't know if you know my hair, her name is Donna.

Lewis Howes 1:04:13 All right.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:13 I, I named my hair. She twisted up right now, but-

Lewis Howes 1:04:15 Wow

Tabitha Brown 1:04:15 ... you know, I normally have a big old afro, and her name is Donna. So I have Donna's Recipe, because I don't do desserts. But Donna, she can give you desserts for your hair.

Lewis Howes 1:04:23 All right.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:24 So I have a sweet potato pie collection-

Lewis Howes 1:04:26 Ooh

Tabitha Brown 1:04:26 ... of, uh, hair, uh, products. It's at Ulta Beauty, also at Target now.

Lewis Howes 1:04:30 Nice.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:30 And we're expanding the line and doing more things with that.

Lewis Howes 1:04:33 Amazing.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:33 So just trying to, you know, build an empire-

Lewis Howes 1:04:38 Uh-huh

Tabitha Brown 1:04:39 ... but off of truth. I'll, just like you said, you'll never put your name on no, you know, alcohol, 'cause that's not in alignment.

Lewis Howes 1:04:46 Mm-hmm.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:47 I'll never just throw my name on a product.

Lewis Howes 1:04:49 Right.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:49 It's gonna be something that you know, "Oh, wait, that's definitely Tab, 'cause this is how she live her life."

Lewis Howes 1:04:53 [laughs] Yeah.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:54 So I'll just keep on doing things that, that matter and that are, you know, real to me.

Lewis Howes 1:04:58 That's beautiful.

Tabitha Brown 1:04:59 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:05:00 I Am Tabitha Brown on, on all of her social media, uh, your TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, you know, YouTube is blown up as well.

Tabitha Brown 1:05:08 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:05:08 You got amazing recipes. Alexandra, she's vegan-

Tabitha Brown 1:05:11 She told me, yeah

Lewis Howes 1:05:12 ... on our team. And she was talking about how she wants to try one of your latest recipes. I think it was like a carrot bacon.

Tabitha Brown 1:05:17 Oh, yeah. That was one.

Lewis Howes 1:05:17 So I was like, "That sounds incredible."

Tabitha Brown 1:05:19 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:05:19 "So I'm gonna have to have someone make it up and-"

Tabitha Brown 1:05:21 That was, like, one of my first, uh, viral videos on TikTok-

Lewis Howes 1:05:24 Yeah

Tabitha Brown 1:05:24 ... that took me through the roof in 2020.

Lewis Howes 1:05:26 Yeah. So I gotta try that-

Tabitha Brown 1:05:27 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:05:27 ... someday.

Tabitha Brown 1:05:28 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:05:29 Um, so people can get all your content on social media. I Am Tab-

Tabitha Brown 1:05:33 My website is the same

Lewis Howes 1:05:33 ... iamtabithabrown.com as well.

Tabitha Brown 1:05:36 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:05:37 But make sure to get the new book, I Did a New Thing. I've got a couple final questions for you, Tabitha. First one, before I ask the final two questions, I wanna acknowledge you, Tabitha, for the transformation you've made and for sharing your transformation so publicly, and the success that you've received by owning your truth. I think a lot of people wear masks in the world. I wore a mask for many years to protect myself, to fit in, to feel like I belonged, all these different things, 'cause I was afraid. And we can only create so much success with a mask on.

Tabitha Brown 1:06:11 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:06:11 But I think we can create true fulfillment and greatness as our authentic selves. So I acknowledge you for leaning into that, listening to the voice, and being obedient to what you felt was right for you. And the impact you've made by the continual actions you take and how you show up is just really inspiring. So I really acknowledge you for listening to the voice and taking action to be of service to so many people that watch and listen to you and read your books. So congrats on everything.

Tabitha Brown 1:06:41 Thank you, Navid.

Lewis Howes 1:06:41 Of course. Um, this question is called the three truths. So it's a hypothetical scenario.

Tabitha Brown 1:06:48 Okay.

Lewis Howes 1:06:48 Imagine you get to live from this moment for as many years as you wanna live, but it's eventually your last day on this earth.

Tabitha Brown 1:06:54 Okay.

Lewis Howes 1:06:55 And in this hypothetical scenario, you get to create all of your dreams. They all come true. You live the life you envision, and you, uh, you know, you have unexpected things that come to your life as well that are beautiful. But it's the last day, and for whatever reason on this last day, you have to take all of your work with you.

Tabitha Brown 1:07:13 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:07:13 So no one has access to this book anymore, this interview, and anything you create. For whatever reason, it's gotta go with you.

Tabitha Brown 1:07:20 Okay.

Lewis Howes 1:07:20 But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world, and this is all we would have to remember you by. I call it the three truths. What would be those three truths for you?

Tabitha Brown 1:07:30 Oh, live free-

Lewis Howes 1:07:32 Mm-hmm

Tabitha Brown 1:07:32 ... um, spread love, and eat well.

Lewis Howes 1:07:44 Mm. I like it.

Tabitha Brown 1:07:45 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:07:47 Simple-

Tabitha Brown 1:07:48 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:07:48 ... and powerful. Um, final question, Tabitha, what is your definition of greatness?

Tabitha Brown 1:07:55 Uh, definition of, of greatness is, is freedom, right? Being completely free, uh, in your world and in everybody else's. And, uh, okay, God, I'm gonna put my trust and my faith in you, right? It took me till I was 40.

Lewis Howes 1:08:15 Wow. To start that process, right?

Tabitha Brown 1:08:17 No, I had, I'd been going through that whole process-

Lewis Howes 1:08:21 Oh, before then

Tabitha Brown 1:08:21 ... before 40.

Lewis Howes 1:08:22 Oh, wow.

Tabitha Brown 1:08:23 And it's when I hit 40 that-