Bobby Lee: Comedy, Skyrim, Sex Robots, Love, Fame, and Power | Lex Fridman Podcast #287

1. 0:00 – 0:59

   Introduction

   1. BLBobby Lee0:00

      If you and I were able to go into Skyrim-

   2. LFLex Fridman0:02

      Yep

   3. BLBobby Lee0:02

      ... right, and walk around-

   4. LFLex Fridman0:03

      Mm-hmm

   5. BLBobby Lee0:03

      ... and live together-

   6. LFLex Fridman0:05

      Would we make love?

   7. BLBobby Lee0:06

      No, no. No, man. Don't go there.

   8. LFLex Fridman0:08

      Okay.

   9. BLBobby Lee0:09

      No, no, no, no, because we like girls, man.

   10. LFLex Fridman0:14

       The following is a conversation with Bobby Lee, a stand-up comedian and podcaster, and one of the funniest humans on the planet, and just someone who brings joy to my heart with a mix of non-sequitur absurdity, darkness, and the singing voice of an angel. In all seriousness, Bobby's just a beautiful human being. I've been a fan of his for 20 years, since his time on Mad TV, to today, with his podcast TigerBelly, that he does with his other half, the love of his life, Khalyla, and the podcast Bad Friends, that he does with Andrew Santino. This is the Lex Fridman Podcast. To support it, please check out our sponsors in the description. And now, dear friends, here's Bobby Lee.

2. 0:59 – 6:58

   Wedding

   1. LFLex Fridman0:59

      I've been a fan of yours for many, many years.

   2. BLBobby Lee1:00

      Thank you.

   3. LFLex Fridman1:00

      I think you're one of the funniest people in the world. I've been a fan since Mad TV days, 20 years ago [laughs]

   4. BLBobby Lee1:08

      [laughs]

   5. LFLex Fridman1:08

      To today, with, uh, with TigerBelly. So-

   6. BLBobby Lee1:10

      Mm-hmm

   7. LFLex Fridman1:10

      ... given that, given your status as a world-class comedian, how did it feel that you were not invited to Andrew Schulz's wedding, and I was?

   8. BLBobby Lee1:21

      Wait, you were there?

   9. LFLex Fridman1:22

      Yeah, I was there. I was the least funny person there.

   10. BLBobby Lee1:26

       Yeah.

   11. LFLex Fridman1:26

       And the whole time I was thinking, "Isn't that funny that Bobby Lee's not here?"

   12. BLBobby Lee1:31

       [laughs] Yeah. Um, all my life I always felt like people didn't like me and didn't wanna in- invite me to things, you know what I mean? I think that- that's fundamentally w- the reason why I do what I do. So it really did hurt a lot, and, um, I had resentments. I did some, uh, revenge fantasies-

   13. LFLex Fridman1:48

       Mm-hmm

   14. BLBobby Lee1:49

       ... about how I'm gonna get revenge on him and stuff.

   15. LFLex Fridman1:51

       Yeah.

   16. BLBobby Lee1:51

       It-

   17. LFLex Fridman1:52

       On him specifically

   18. BLBobby Lee1:52

       ... spe- him specifically.

   19. LFLex Fridman1:53

       Okay.

   20. BLBobby Lee1:54

       Like, have a big wedding, invite everyone, you know what I mean, except him, stuff like that.

   21. LFLex Fridman1:59

       Yeah.

   22. BLBobby Lee2:00

       And then just write him a letter like, "See, that's how it feels," or whatever.

   23. LFLex Fridman2:03

       [laughs]

   24. BLBobby Lee2:04

       But instead of that, I'm, 'cause I'm in therapy and stuff, I'm just kinda, like, trying to let it go. What'd you do there? This right here, why'd you do that?

   25. LFLex Fridman2:11

       I forgot to start the timer, and now it's starts.

   26. BLBobby Lee2:14

       Do you wanna start over?

   27. LFLex Fridman2:14

       Yeah, let's, let's do this again.

   28. BLBobby Lee2:16

       [laughs]

   29. LFLex Fridman2:16

       Let's do it again. Take two. No, uh, you still feel like an outsider? You're exceptionally successful in many domains. You still feel-

   30. BLBobby Lee2:23

       Yeah. You know, I'm doing a Netflix show tonight with Andrew Santino at the Comedy Store, and this and that, but, like, last night, you know, I just felt like I wasn't a part of... In fact, on stage I go, I even mention it. I go, "Netflix, they don't like me," you know what I mean? And I just say things like that. Um, they're not true, and this is something that I wanna correct with myself, because I have this internal dialogue that's based on just the past, and 99% of the things that go on in my mind aren't true, and I'm just at a point in my life where I'm just, don't wanna start, I don't wanna start, I don't wanna live like that anymore.
3. 6:58 – 12:36

   Video games

   1. BLBobby Lee6:58

      like, um, I'm a good avoider. I, I'm good at avoidance. So for instance, right now, um, to avoid, I, I've been playing Stardew Valley.

   2. LFLex Fridman7:07

      Mm-hmm.

   3. BLBobby Lee7:08

      You know what that is?

   4. LFLex Fridman7:08

      No.

   5. BLBobby Lee7:09

      It's, it's-

   6. LFLex Fridman7:09

      It's a phone game or?

   7. BLBobby Lee7:10

      No, it's a, um, you can play it on your Switch, but it's out on the Xbox, and it's a farming simulation game.

   8. LFLex Fridman7:15

      [laughs]

   9. BLBobby Lee7:16

      And so I like to farm, you know what I mean?

   10. LFLex Fridman7:18

       Yeah.

   11. BLBobby Lee7:18

       And so in, in playing video games and doing stuff like that distracts me from, you know what I mean, what really is going on.

   12. LFLex Fridman7:24

       Okay. You've mentioned elsewhere, in terms of video games, Elder Scrolls.

   13. BLBobby Lee7:28

       Yeah, did you play that?

   14. LFLex Fridman7:29

       Yeah, of course. It's probably my favorite game.

   15. BLBobby Lee7:31

       Mm.

   16. LFLex Fridman7:31

       If I could live in a world ... You played Morrowind and Skyrim.

   17. BLBobby Lee7:35

       And I played Oblivion.

   18. LFLex Fridman7:37

       Oblivion.

   19. BLBobby Lee7:38

       I played a little bit of Morrowind, but I didn't like the graphics back then, but I really played the ... Can I swear on this podcast?

   20. LFLex Fridman7:44

       Yeah.

   21. BLBobby Lee7:44

       I played the fuck out of, um, Oblivion and Skyrim, like eight character. I played it all the way through. I have to do all the quests, that type of thing.

   22. LFLex Fridman7:53

       What's your favorite thing about those games?

   23. BLBobby Lee7:56

       Um-

   24. LFLex Fridman7:56

       What, why did you spend so much time in that world?

   25. BLBobby Lee7:59

       Because I, I like games that you can grind.

   26. LFLex Fridman8:03

       What do you mean by grind?

   27. BLBobby Lee8:04

       So like Stardew Valley, for instance, right? There's a lot of li-

   28. LFLex Fridman8:07

       Back to the farming simu-

   29. BLBobby Lee8:08

       Back to farming, right?

   30. LFLex Fridman8:09

       Okay, yeah.
4. 12:36 – 17:41

   Grappling

   1. BLBobby Lee12:36

      Yeah.

   2. LFLex Fridman12:36

      So, uh.

   3. BLBobby Lee12:36

      What do you talk to Joe about?

   4. LFLex Fridman12:38

      First of all, we're both grapplers, so we talk a lot about jujitsu.

   5. BLBobby Lee12:42

      Mm.

   6. LFLex Fridman12:42

      We talk a lot about-

   7. BLBobby Lee12:43

      I'm a grappler.

   8. LFLex Fridman12:44

      Are you?

   9. BLBobby Lee12:45

      I was on the wrestling team in high school.

   10. LFLex Fridman12:46

       Yeah, I know. I know this. And I s-

   11. BLBobby Lee12:48

       As a grappler, that to you, that if I don't know jujitsu, is there, is there only one kind of grappling that you like?

   12. LFLex Fridman12:52

       Yeah, there's levels to this game, I think.

   13. BLBobby Lee12:54

       Ugh. [laughs]

   14. LFLex Fridman12:55

       I just talked down... No, no, no. There's nothing more po-

   15. BLBobby Lee12:57

       Yeah

   16. LFLex Fridman12:57

       ... there's no, y- that's a surprising fact that you've dropped that. It almost feels like a lie, 'cause you've said that before, that you were a wrestler in-

   17. BLBobby Lee13:05

       Yeah, yeah

   18. LFLex Fridman13:06

       ... in high school. It doesn't make sense.

   19. BLBobby Lee13:07

       Well, it's funny that you say that-

   20. LFLex Fridman13:08

       Yeah

   21. BLBobby Lee13:08

       ... because, and I'm gonna cause a little controversy here.

   22. LFLex Fridman13:12

       Yeah. Mm-hmm.

   23. BLBobby Lee13:13

       Right?

   24. LFLex Fridman13:13

       Mm-hmm.

   25. BLBobby Lee13:13

       But Joe Rogan-

   26. LFLex Fridman13:14

       Yes

   27. BLBobby Lee13:15

       ... one time came to me, when he lived in LA, this is years ago, and he said, "You're a liar."

   28. LFLex Fridman13:19

       Yeah.

   29. BLBobby Lee13:19

       "You've never grappled."

   30. LFLex Fridman13:20

       Yep.
5. 17:41 – 20:40

   Sex robots

   1. BLBobby Lee17:41

      this, though?

   2. LFLex Fridman17:41

      Sure.

   3. BLBobby Lee17:42

      What you're saying to me is, is that, a- as a layperson, is that in my lifetime, that machines will have consciousness.

   4. LFLex Fridman17:54

      Oh, that I don't know.

   5. BLBobby Lee17:55

      Computers.

   6. LFLex Fridman17:56

      I'm one of the people, well, depending, you're, you live dangerously, so I don't know how long you're gonna live.

   7. BLBobby Lee18:00

      [laughs]

   8. LFLex Fridman18:01

      So let's, let's put-

   9. BLBobby Lee18:02

      Uh-huh.

   10. LFLex Fridman18:03

       But I believe that consciousness, yes, could be engineered in a machine. Uh, or at least we can have machines that are human-like.

   11. BLBobby Lee18:11

       Mm.

   12. LFLex Fridman18:11

       And we believe they have consciousness.

   13. BLBobby Lee18:14

       Can I ask one last question about it?

   14. LFLex Fridman18:15

       Yes.

   15. BLBobby Lee18:16

       Okay. Will they-

   16. LFLex Fridman18:17

       But just one more

   17. BLBobby Lee18:18

       ... will they have the smoothness of skin, and will they look realistic?

   18. LFLex Fridman18:24

       See, I'm, I'm one of those people that believes that visual appearance isn't the, the magic. So if you close your ... If you're blind, you can still have a connection with a person. Um, people can fall in love with each other through just letters. So yeah, I know you're mocking me with your entire energy. But yes-

   19. BLBobby Lee18:41

       [laughs]

   20. LFLex Fridman18:42

       Um, yes, I believe that part too. You're talking about sex bots is what you're probably getting at.

   21. BLBobby Lee18:47

       No, I'm not.

   22. LFLex Fridman18:47

       Okay, intimacy.

   23. BLBobby Lee18:47

       No, what the... Why would you?

   24. LFLex Fridman18:48

       Just friends, friends. But you wanna-

   25. BLBobby Lee18:50

       Why would you want friends?

   26. LFLex Fridman18:50

       You wanna feel the smoothness of their skin.

   27. BLBobby Lee18:52

       Yeah, like a guy. Like a ... You know, just go, "What's up, dude?"

   28. LFLex Fridman18:54

       Friend.

   29. BLBobby Lee18:54

       And just rub against-

   30. LFLex Fridman18:54

       Yeah, just rub. Just hug and, and kiss-
6. 20:40 – 27:24

   Khalyla

   1. LFLex Fridman20:40

      I'd love your advice in this direction, but you're, you have an amazing relationship with, uh, Khalyla.

   2. BLBobby Lee20:46

      Yeah.

   3. LFLex Fridman20:47

      Uh, so you two are very different. So you, you host the TigerBelly podcast together, but there's, there's real love there. There's a, there's a real connection. W- what, what do you, um, what do you love most about Khalyla? Let's talk about love, Bobby Lee.

   4. BLBobby Lee21:01

      Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's a really pretty deep ... I've never really gone down this path. Um-

   5. LFLex Fridman21:05

      We're gonna walk down that path together holding hands.

   6. BLBobby Lee21:09

      It's one of those things where the first time I met her, it was almost as if I had known her all my life. It was really weird. You know what I mean? There was a, a trust there, you know what I mean, that was just fundamentally there that I could trust her, and that I could ... You know, when I look in the mirror and, and I see all my character defects and stuff, tho- a lot of those things aren't necessarily things I wanna share with people, because I don't wanna be judged or ridiculed. But with her, I felt comfortable showing those things, and I think she feels the same way about her. And then secondly, she's funny. You know what I mean? She made me laugh, and, a- and she's hot.

   7. LFLex Fridman21:55

      Mm-hmm.

   8. BLBobby Lee21:55

      It's, it's all, you know what I mean, the perfect ... It was like a perfect combination of things. You know what I mean? She ... One night we were in bed, and sh- I forgot what the joke was, but she really made me laugh one night. It was ... She was living in an apartment in Long Beach, and I cackled. You know what I mean? And generally, women don't make ... I mean, not women I'm dating, comics do, um, don't make me cackle in that way. And then, um, thirdly, she has, um, she's partly Asian.

   9. LFLex Fridman22:24

      Mm-hmm.

   10. BLBobby Lee22:25

       So it's like, you know, one time I dated a white girl-

   11. LFLex Fridman22:28

       Yeah

   12. BLBobby Lee22:28

       ... and I invited her to Koreatown.

   13. LFLex Fridman22:30

       Are you about to be racist?

   14. BLBobby Lee22:32

       A little bit.

   15. LFLex Fridman22:32

       Okay.

   16. BLBobby Lee22:33

       Yeah, yeah. And what I love about Asian girls is they'll eat something first and ask what it is after.

   17. LFLex Fridman22:42

       [laughs]

   18. BLBobby Lee22:42

       But white girls ask what it is before.

   19. LFLex Fridman22:45

       Okay.

   20. BLBobby Lee22:45

       "What is this?" Right?

   21. LFLex Fridman22:46

       Yeah.

   22. BLBobby Lee22:47

       But it- Khalyla was like, would eat the eyeball, eat everything, and go, "What did I just eat?"

   23. LFLex Fridman22:51

       Yeah.

   24. BLBobby Lee22:51

       I like that. You know what I mean? So it's like, a- and it reminds me of my mom in that way in terms of, like, my mom growing up just to scare us and freak us out, we'd have a fish, and she would eat the eyeball first to see us squirm. And as a kid that you thought it was gross and weird and this and that, but it's like, you know, when Khalyla does it, it just kind of like, I don't know, it just ma- fe- makes, makes me feel at home-

   25. LFLex Fridman23:17

       Yeah

   26. BLBobby Lee23:17

       ... in a weird way. I don't know.

   27. LFLex Fridman23:18

       It's, it's, uh, it's a little act of fearlessness. I like that.

   28. BLBobby Lee23:22

       Yeah.

   29. LFLex Fridman23:23

       Just eat. Just put it in your mouth and figure it out later. [laughs]

   30. BLBobby Lee23:26

       [laughs] Yeah, that's what I like. And at the end of the day, she also, out of all my girlfriends, and I, I, this is gonna s- sound not strange, but, um, hard to admit, but my career when I met Khalyla was in the shit box. I could not get anything going, and, um, this is at the time where Ken Jeong, who's a very good friend of mine and very talented, was getting everything.
7. 27:24 – 38:05

   Parenting

   1. BLBobby Lee27:24

      it out.

   2. LFLex Fridman27:24

      Would you like to be a father one day? This is kind of couples counseling.

   3. BLBobby Lee27:32

      Yeah. Um, you know, yeah, I do. I do. Because I, I feel like, um, you know, before I was very childlike, you know. I play a lot of video games. I'm irresponsible. I'm lazy, this and that, right? But, you know, to be honest with you, Lex, in the last six months, I've really have come through some breakthroughs, and, um, I'm in therapy and I'm doing a lot of things, and really self-analyzing myself and my behaviors, and what I want, my desires. And I think ultimately, yes, I really do, because it's a life experience that, um, you know, I don't wanna be an old man looking back and going, "W..." It's something that I've always was interested in, and I think it's based on fear, because I don't want to, um, scar my c- child the way my parents scarred me. But at the same time, my parents didn't do the work on themselves like I am, and they were never about self-improvement. They were just about, they were immigrants, you know, and they wanted to put food on the table, and, um, after that, they just went about their business, and I'm not like that. I would never be violent toward my kids like my parents were. My dad was very physically abusive, you know. There was a lot of trauma and stuff. And so, um, you know, as a kid, I, I thought, "You know, I just would never put my kid through this," so that's why I never wanted it. But I would completely do it differently, you know? Um, even yelling and, and those kind of things, I would be very mindful about those things. And I think that I have certain things, you know, I'm not a science-y guy like you, but there are th- life things that I've learned over the years that I could teach a child, you know, about living in the moment or walking through fear or, you know, things that, you know, things will pass, and just different things, you know, that I could... I would be a good listener, and, um, yeah, I would like to ha- do that.

   4. LFLex Fridman29:37

      So your, um, your dad died in, um, August of 2019.

   5. BLBobby Lee29:44

      Wow.

   6. LFLex Fridman29:45

      Yeah.

   7. BLBobby Lee29:45

      [laughs] You did your research.

   8. LFLex Fridman29:48

      Uh, yeah, it's on your Wikipedia.

   9. BLBobby Lee29:49

      [laughs] Yeah.

   10. LFLex Fridman29:53

       So you said some of it was rough, but what's your fondest memory of your dad?

   11. BLBobby Lee30:02

       Well, th- those memories happened later in life. Um, as a child, my fondest memory was my mom, 'cause he never spent time with us, so, um, my mom made him take me out one day, and he took me to a park. Like, he doesn't, there was no baseball glove or baseball or anything like that, and we sat on a park bench, right? And we just sat there for hours. We didn't talk, 'cause he didn't know English that well and I didn't know Korean. So it's just very, you know, basic, you know, information being, you know what I mean?

   12. LFLex Fridman30:38

       Mm-hmm.

   13. BLBobby Lee30:39

       "H- how are you?" This is how he would go, "How are you?" Doing?

   14. LFLex Fridman30:43

       Yeah.

   15. BLBobby Lee30:44

       "I'm okay," you know? "Good, good, good." That type of thing.

   16. LFLex Fridman30:48

       Yeah, for a long time.

   17. BLBobby Lee30:49

       For a long time, and then, but the day turned bad because I l- I forgot my jacket there, and he yelled at me in the car park.

   18. LFLex Fridman30:57

       But there's a bit of a peace together.

   19. BLBobby Lee30:59

       At that time, yeah, there was peace. But then what happened was later in life when I got MADtv, and I was doing, you know, in my early years, you know, I'd booked a couple of things, like in 2000 I did The Tonight Show on Leno, and then I did, um, I got MADtv in 2000. And, um, wow, that was over 20 years ago. And, um, that's when they, my parents kinda went, "Huh," you know? Because e- obviously, you know, there's some nepotism in Hollywood, right? But in my case, my parents were straight up immigrants. I had no connections to Hollywood, and I came up here poor, you know, with no connections, and I built it, you know what I mean, through the years, you know? And in, in that way I'm very proud of myself, because I went through a lot of fucking hell and sadness and desperation and all that stuff, and I persevered, and I did all that shit on my own, man. I, I booked The Tonight Show on my own. I got MADtv on my own. And when I did those things, my parents were very proud.

   20. LFLex Fridman32:11

       But before that, did they doubt you?

   21. BLBobby Lee32:13

       Oh, yeah. "You, you're not, you're not funny."

   22. LFLex Fridman32:18

       [laughs]

   23. BLBobby Lee32:19

       You know, "You, you, you never make me laugh."

   24. LFLex Fridman32:23

       Yeah.

   25. BLBobby Lee32:24

       Right? And that kinda stuff.

   26. LFLex Fridman32:25

       Yeah, yeah.

   27. BLBobby Lee32:25

       "You're never gonna make it." You know what I mean? "You're gonna be poor all your life," you know, and that kinda stuff.

   28. LFLex Fridman32:30

       But MADtv, he was proud, your dad, your parents?

   29. BLBobby Lee32:33

       Well, he, you know, every, 'cause it was a weekly show, so on Saturday nights they would watch it.

   30. LFLex Fridman32:38

       They would?
8. 38:05 – 46:21

   Darkest moment

   1. LFLex Fridman38:05

      what's been the darkest place you ever gone in your mind?

   2. BLBobby Lee38:09

      Oh my God. What the... You wrote that down? In my mind?

   3. LFLex Fridman38:12

      In your mind. Do you ever consider suicide? Have you-

   4. BLBobby Lee38:16

      I didn't write that down

   5. LFLex Fridman38:16

      Okay. Have, have you considered it?

   6. BLBobby Lee38:19

      In the distance.

   7. LFLex Fridman38:20

      Yeah.

   8. BLBobby Lee38:21

      I've distantly thought about it. Um, you know, about four months ago I was in a really bad place. I was naked in a hotel room in Arizona. I hadn't eaten in, like, almost a week. I hadn't slept in over a week. I haven't sl- you know, and I thought I was dying. I, I was coughing up blood and, um, I was waiting to go into a outpatient psychologist place, you know what I mean, in Arizona. I literally thought I was dying. So recently I, I was in a very dark place.

   9. LFLex Fridman39:01

      How much was that connected to losing your father? How much was that connected to, uh-

   10. BLBobby Lee39:05

       Oh, God

   11. LFLex Fridman39:06

       ... rehab and that kind of stuff?

   12. BLBobby Lee39:09

       All the-

   13. LFLex Fridman39:09

       Alcohol, drugs

   14. BLBobby Lee39:10

       ... it's all the same thing, dude. It's all the same thing, man. It's, it's, um, it's all from my childhood, right? The reason why I do standup is because of my childhood.

   15. LFLex Fridman39:23

       The hating yourself or, like, being self-critical, that has to do with your childhood?

   16. BLBobby Lee39:26

       Yes.

   17. LFLex Fridman39:27

       So the drugs and drinking is childhood?

   18. BLBobby Lee39:29

       Childhood. It's all about survival and protecting your heart, you know? And there are way, there are ways that I did that as a kid, like, um, using humor as a s- a defense mechanism. Um, and also avoidance of all emotions, you know what I mean, because I just didn't want to feel. And I'm ab- the reason why comedy is so good f- I w- the reason why I was able to survive in comedy is because I can withstand a lot of bullshit and pain. You know what I mean? Like, physi- like physical, emotional, spiritual pain, I'm a, I can absorb it, right? But now what's happened, you know, later in life is I'm unwilling to do that. I'm unwilling to absorb it. I'm unwilling to carry this weight around with me, and, um, it'll kill me. So I am doing everything I can to free myself of all this baggage.

   19. LFLex Fridman40:31

       Okay, so how... You're naked in Arizona in a hotel room.

   20. BLBobby Lee40:36

       [laughs]

   21. LFLex Fridman40:37

       Face down or face up or on the side? Where-

   22. BLBobby Lee40:40

       So-

   23. LFLex Fridman40:40

       What's your favorite, uh, when you go to a dark place?

   24. BLBobby Lee40:43

       [laughs] No, no.

   25. LFLex Fridman40:44

       On the floor, on the bed, or-

   26. BLBobby Lee40:46

       So what happened was-

   27. LFLex Fridman40:47

       ... bathtub, shower

   28. BLBobby Lee40:49

       ... a fetal position.

   29. LFLex Fridman40:50

       Okay.

   30. BLBobby Lee40:51

       I don't lay on my stomach. That's weird. Like-
9. 46:21 – 56:36

   Fame

   1. BLBobby Lee46:21

      you know?

   2. LFLex Fridman46:21

      Let me ask you, sorry, you've talked about this before, but it's interesting.

   3. BLBobby Lee46:24

      Let me ask you a question. Do you always wear a suit only for the podcast?

   4. LFLex Fridman46:28

      Uh, yeah, I wear it in private too.

   5. BLBobby Lee46:30

      Oh, you do?

   6. LFLex Fridman46:31

      Not always, no, because I get recognized, unfortunately-

   7. BLBobby Lee46:33

      Yeah, yeah, yeah

   8. LFLex Fridman46:34

      ... so I have to be selective about how I wear what, what-

   9. BLBobby Lee46:36

      Do you like it when being recognized or no?

   10. LFLex Fridman46:40

       Uh, so because of podcasting, as you probably know, uh, the people that, uh, at least recognize me are, happen to be amazing people. So, like-

   11. BLBobby Lee46:48

       Yeah

   12. LFLex Fridman46:48

       ... like they, it's an immediate connection. So there's two things about that I don't like. So one, um, I fall in love with people, and so the nature of interaction-

   13. BLBobby Lee47:00

       [laughs]

   14. LFLex Fridman47:00

       ... is like, well, it's gonna be short.

   15. BLBobby Lee47:03

       Oh.

   16. LFLex Fridman47:04

       So [laughs] -

   17. BLBobby Lee47:05

       Yeah, yeah, yeah

   18. LFLex Fridman47:05

       ... so, like you have to say goodbye.

   19. BLBobby Lee47:07

       Mm.

   20. LFLex Fridman47:08

       And I hate goodbyes.

   21. BLBobby Lee47:09

       You do?

   22. LFLex Fridman47:10

       Yeah.

   23. BLBobby Lee47:11

       Yeah.

   24. LFLex Fridman47:11

       And then the other thing is just introversion. Like I just, I'm, I'm, I'm an introvert. I'm a f- I have social anxiety. I've, um, nervous about talking to people and so on. So, so you have to always, I'm walking around always a little bit anxious that there'll be an interaction. But ultimately once it starts it's fun, it's, it's beautiful, and then the, the, the, uh, the goodbye is what hurts. So both the hello and the goodbye is what hurts. It's the stuff in the middle that's delicious.

   25. BLBobby Lee47:40

       I think there's a beautiful thing though for people like you and I in, in a weird way, you know. Because, um, number one, I'm an, I don't know about you, but I'm a isolator. I don't really like, you know, any kind of social thing, you know? Um, I li- my, even when I was doing drugs and drinking, I never do it with people. I do it privately in a garage, you know? And secondly, um, you know, like I was w- my girlfriend and I went, watched The Northman, the movie The Northman.

   26. LFLex Fridman48:10

       No. What is it? Is it, tell me the plot line.

   27. BLBobby Lee48:14

       You, you haven't even heard of The Northman?

   28. LFLex Fridman48:15

       I have not heard of The Northman.

   29. BLBobby Lee48:17

       It's Eggers. He did, uh, th- a movie called The Witch. He also did a movie called The Lighthouse. You ever see The Lighthouse?

   30. LFLex Fridman48:22

       Mm-mm.
10. 56:36 – 1:03:25

    Carlos Mencia

    1. LFLex Fridman56:36

       I'd love to sort of re-explore this.

    2. BLBobby Lee56:38

       Mm-hmm.

    3. LFLex Fridman56:38

       Is Carlos Mencia.

    4. BLBobby Lee56:40

       Oh, my God.

    5. LFLex Fridman56:41

       Yeah.

    6. BLBobby Lee56:41

       Why?

    7. LFLex Fridman56:42

       Why go there again?

    8. BLBobby Lee56:43

       Yeah.

    9. LFLex Fridman56:44

       It's-

    10. BLBobby Lee56:45

        I'll, I'm willing to do it, but w- do you like Carlos?

    11. LFLex Fridman56:48

        Well, first of all, I'm friends with Joe, and I remember being a fan of... I, I'm outside this whole world.

    12. BLBobby Lee56:54

        Yeah.

    13. LFLex Fridman56:54

        I remember thinking Carlos was funny.

    14. BLBobby Lee56:56

        Yeah.

    15. LFLex Fridman56:57

        So just as a fan, I was like, "Oh, funny." And then, uh, I remember this, this, all this big controversy, uh, about him stealing jokes.

    16. BLBobby Lee57:06

        Mm.

    17. LFLex Fridman57:07

        And because I'm a fan of yours, it's such an interesting human dynamic, and I'm a fan of friendship and loyalty, and you had a great podcast conversation with him. It was tense.

    18. BLBobby Lee57:18

        It was so tense.

    19. LFLex Fridman57:19

        It was very tense.

    20. BLBobby Lee57:20

        Yeah.

    21. LFLex Fridman57:20

        But it was interesting, and it, it kinda, well, make, makes me think of you talking to your father on that bench. [laughs]

    22. BLBobby Lee57:28

        [laughs]

    23. LFLex Fridman57:29

        Maybe-

    24. BLBobby Lee57:29

        That's what it f-

    25. LFLex Fridman57:29

        Yeah.

    26. BLBobby Lee57:29

        Yeah, that's essentially what it was. Um-

    27. LFLex Fridman57:31

        Some of it wasn't getting through, but maybe, uh, how do you feel about that, uh, whole thing about the guy? I mean, he gave you, he's a friend. He gave you a lot. Um, but you're, you're also a comedian, so stealing jokes is no good. But also, there's, like, a, I don't know, all the tensions in your heart about all that whole thing. How do you feel about it?

    28. BLBobby Lee57:56

        Uh.

    29. LFLex Fridman57:56

        Do you forgive him?

    30. BLBobby Lee57:58

        Okay, let, let's just, let's go back to the, the, it, it's very Shakespearean in a very weird way, right? Because it's, there's some betrayal there.
11. 1:03:25 – 1:17:03

    TigerBelly

    1. LFLex Fridman1:03:25

       All right. What was, uh, returning back to TigerBelly-

    2. BLBobby Lee1:03:27

       Yeah

    3. LFLex Fridman1:03:27

       ... 'cause you said, uh, Khalyla basically started it. What's the origin story of TigerBelly?

    4. BLBobby Lee1:03:33

       You know, when I met her-

    5. LFLex Fridman1:03:35

       Oh, by the way, for people listening, in case you somehow don't know what TigerBelly is, the podcast you do, it's an amazing podcast. You also do, uh, Bad Friends with, uh, Andrew Santino-

    6. BLBobby Lee1:03:44

       Yeah

    7. LFLex Fridman1:03:45

       ... so on.

    8. BLBobby Lee1:03:45

       Thank you so much for the plug. Appreciate it.

    9. LFLex Fridman1:03:47

       I don't know. It's context. It's not the plug. It's context.

    10. BLBobby Lee1:03:49

        Can I plug other things, though, what, since we're doing it?

    11. LFLex Fridman1:03:51

        Uh, sure, sure.

    12. BLBobby Lee1:03:52

        Yeah.

    13. LFLex Fridman1:03:52

        What's your, uh-

    14. BLBobby Lee1:03:52

        I'm on a show called Res-

    15. LFLex Fridman1:03:54

        Okay, that's enough of that.

    16. BLBobby Lee1:03:54

        Okay. Thank you.

    17. LFLex Fridman1:03:55

        [laughs]

    18. BLBobby Lee1:03:55

        So, um, what, what, what-

    19. LFLex Fridman1:03:57

        What's the name of the show you're on?

    20. BLBobby Lee1:03:59

        I'm on a couple.

    21. LFLex Fridman1:04:00

        A couple shows?

    22. BLBobby Lee1:04:01

        Yeah.

    23. LFLex Fridman1:04:01

        Oh, that's good for you.

    24. BLBobby Lee1:04:02

        Fine. I don't know.

    25. LFLex Fridman1:04:02

        Netflix? It's-

    26. BLBobby Lee1:04:03

        No.

    27. LFLex Fridman1:04:04

        Okay.

    28. BLBobby Lee1:04:05

        I'm on-

    29. LFLex Fridman1:04:05

        Are they, who-

    30. BLBobby Lee1:04:06

        ... Sex and the City.
12. 1:17:03 – 1:24:13

    George and Gilbert

    1. LFLex Fridman1:17:03

       why do you love/hate George, George Kimmel, your, uh, producer? What's your favorite thing about him? Let's say that. Positive thing. Positive.

    2. BLBobby Lee1:17:14

       Oh, God. That's the worst question. That's such a... 'Cause I, I, 'cause, you know, it's like, you know, I don't wanna give him compliments, but, you know, I'll try.

    3. LFLex Fridman1:17:22

       Yeah. Yeah.

    4. BLBobby Lee1:17:22

       Yeah, I'll try. Um, uh-

    5. LFLex Fridman1:17:25

       Have you actually... I, I don't think you've publicly ever said anything positive about George. [laughs]

    6. BLBobby Lee1:17:29

       [laughs] I don't think I have either, so I, I'm gonna gi- I'm gonna give it a go. I'm gonna give it a real go here.

    7. LFLex Fridman1:17:33

       Okay, yeah.

    8. BLBobby Lee1:17:39

       You know, at the end of the day, when it comes to money, when it comes to responsibility, it, you know, obviously this is a business now for you and me. It is. You know? It's a, it's a side business, but it's a business, and, um, you wanna be able to trust the people that are running it, and I have 100% trust in everything that he does in terms of financial things, in terms of technical things, in terms of all of it. You know what I mean? Merchandise, and I have 100%, um, belief in him. I... And that's rare, you know, to find someone like that. Um, also at the end of the day, I know his heart, and he really is a great guy. He, there's nothing about him... Like for instance, you know, he was over the other day and I go, you know, I ha- I bought this Keith wooden thing that some Native man made, and I don't know how to put it on the wall, so I just, you know, I go, "Hey, can you figure this out?" And he goes, "Yeah, I got it." You know what I mean? Like, he's just that guy.

    9. LFLex Fridman1:18:45

       Yeah.

    10. BLBobby Lee1:18:45

        You know? Um, he's also... But he, but there is a part of me, and this is probably wrong-

    11. LFLex Fridman1:18:51

        Yeah

    12. BLBobby Lee1:18:51

        ... but there's a part of me that feels like I kind of made him.

    13. LFLex Fridman1:18:56

        Yeah. He would be nothing without you.

    14. BLBobby Lee1:18:58

        No, that's not what I'm saying

    15. LFLex Fridman1:18:59

        Well, I-

    16. BLBobby Lee1:18:59

        I didn't fucking say that

    17. LFLex Fridman1:19:00

        ... that's, that's the way I heard it.

    18. BLBobby Lee1:19:01

        I d- that's what I meant.

    19. LFLex Fridman1:19:03

        Okay.

    20. BLBobby Lee1:19:03

        [laughs]

    21. LFLex Fridman1:19:04

        But that's not what you said.

    22. BLBobby Lee1:19:05

        No. There i- and it's probably wrong, right?

    23. LFLex Fridman1:19:07

        Yeah.

    24. BLBobby Lee1:19:07

        'Cause he did, all the things that he has in his life, he did on his own, right?

    25. LFLex Fridman1:19:11

        Right.

    26. BLBobby Lee1:19:12

        But still, for some reason-

    27. LFLex Fridman1:19:13

        He'd be nothing without you.

    28. BLBobby Lee1:19:14

        [laughs] That's not what I'm saying, but that's what I mean.

    29. LFLex Fridman1:19:16

        Yeah, okay. [laughs]

    30. BLBobby Lee1:19:17

        Yeah, yeah. So basically, like 'cause when I met him, I was a, a part of this, um, YouTube studio called Maker Studios, and he was just a producer there, and that's how I met him. And when he left Maker, he came to us, and he wasn't a podcast g- producer, and now he has this big company. He produces a bunch of podcasts, you know, and he has a bunch of employees, and he has a nice business, you know? And I feel like I had a lot to do with it.
13. 1:24:13 – 1:37:17

    Power

    1. LFLex Fridman1:24:13

       you trust yourself with power? You play dictators.

    2. BLBobby Lee1:24:17

       [laughs] What do you mean? Do I-

    3. LFLex Fridman1:24:20

       Like, 'cause I feel like you would be, 'cause you, you said you're not an alpha male, but in many ways, um, when you smash what's up, and you winked at me.

    4. BLBobby Lee1:24:28

       [laughs]

    5. LFLex Fridman1:24:28

       Would you, uh, what, what do you think about that? If I gave you absolute power, would you be able to, um... What would you, how would you change?

    6. BLBobby Lee1:24:37

       What does absolute power mean? Like you said to me, "Listen, you are gonna be the dictator of planet Earth, and anything that you want is at your means."

    7. LFLex Fridman1:24:46

       Yeah, including violence, sex.

    8. BLBobby Lee1:24:48

       No. No, I would not. Because even in my personal life now, there are things that I could do, right, that I have power, I guess, that I don't participate in, right? So why would I do it if I had ultimate power? I mean, because there's always, there's still a moral and, and ethics that I have, right, that I don't feel comfortable with, right? So-

    9. LFLex Fridman1:25:11

       You wouldn't even enjoy it

    10. BLBobby Lee1:25:13

        No, I mean, I think that, um, there would be no... If I had ultimate dictatorship on planet Earth, there would be no violence. I mean, I would not cause any wars, right? But if there's an uprising-

    11. LFLex Fridman1:25:24

        Yeah

    12. BLBobby Lee1:25:24

        ... I'd have to quell it.

    13. LFLex Fridman1:25:26

        That's how it starts, Bobby. You quell it with-

    14. BLBobby Lee1:25:29

        Don't, don't uprise

    15. LFLex Fridman1:25:30

        ... with a bit of a- Right. But so first you're gonna censor-

    16. BLBobby Lee1:25:33

        [laughs] Okay, all right

    17. LFLex Fridman1:25:34

        ... everybody who wants to even suggest the idea of uprising. And then, and then one person gets out of line, they run a red light, okay, that's, that's-

    18. BLBobby Lee1:25:44

        But, but here-

    19. LFLex Fridman1:25:45

        You ever get angry in traffic?

    20. BLBobby Lee1:25:47

        Yeah. I get rageful.

    21. LFLex Fridman1:25:50

        So if you could murder that person.

    22. BLBobby Lee1:25:52

        No.

    23. LFLex Fridman1:25:53

        No?

    24. BLBobby Lee1:25:54

        No, no, no.

    25. LFLex Fridman1:25:55

        Nobody has to know.

    26. BLBobby Lee1:25:57

        No. I would give them cancer. [laughs] But I would not murder them.

    27. LFLex Fridman1:26:02

        That's so much worse.

    28. BLBobby Lee1:26:02

        I would not... [laughs] I know, I know.

    29. LFLex Fridman1:26:05

        Okay. [laughs]

    30. BLBobby Lee1:26:06

        No. But no, but here, no, this is an interesting thing, 'cause I wanna, I wanna, I wanna elaborate. All right, so the thing, if I was the dictator of the planet Earth, right, um, th- there would be a reason why people would uprise, right? So give me a reason, because I would give them food, shelter, right? And all the things I feel like that, that people would desire, right?
14. 1:37:17 – 1:38:59

    Meaning of life

    1. LFLex Fridman1:37:17

       What do you think is the meaning of life?

    2. BLBobby Lee1:37:19

       What? Fucking, that's the last one?

    3. LFLex Fridman1:37:21

       Yes, that's the last one.

    4. BLBobby Lee1:37:22

       Yeah, yeah.

    5. LFLex Fridman1:37:23

       What do you think? Why are we here? Why are you here? Why are we here? Does any of it make sense to you?

    6. BLBobby Lee1:37:27

       I, I, I think ultimately, here's the what's, wh- why I like life in general, is l- what we talked about. Like we view death, there is a mystery there. There's a wonderment to it, right? So it's like when I walk outside, you know, and I look at the trees, and I look at buildings, that man made these buildings, and, you know, I look at the universe, and I look in the sky, and I don't really completely comprehend what's going on, right? It's just so in... I'm in awe of all of it, right? And I don't have any answers, right? But that, I think, is what the meaning of life is, is to be in awe of it, and w- the wonder of it all, and it's just amazing.

    7. LFLex Fridman1:38:12

       Yeah. Just open your eyes to the wonder of it all-

    8. BLBobby Lee1:38:14

       Yeah

    9. LFLex Fridman1:38:15

       ... while we're still here.

    10. BLBobby Lee1:38:16

        Yeah.

    11. LFLex Fridman1:38:16

        Bobby, uh, it's a huge honor to finally meet you. I've been a fan for many, many years. Um, it's an honor that you would even consider blowing me in the correct kind of circumstances. I will-

    12. BLBobby Lee1:38:27

        I think you would blow me in the right c- circumstances

    13. LFLex Fridman1:38:29

        ... I think that's the definition of love.

    14. BLBobby Lee1:38:31

        [laughs]

    15. LFLex Fridman1:38:33

        Bobby, thanks so much for talking, brother.

    16. BLBobby Lee1:38:34

        Thanks, buddy. Thank you so much.

    17. LFLex Fridman1:38:36

        Thanks for listening to this conversation with Bobby Lee. To support this podcast, please check out our sponsors in the description. And now let me leave you with some words from Kurt Vonnegut: "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh since there's less cleaning to do afterward." Thank you for listening and hope to see you next time.

Episode duration: 1:39:08