4 Steps to Unlock Your Creativity & Feel More Inspired Every Day

Mel Robbins 0:00 When was the last time you felt creative? Not productive, not busy, creative. Well, if you haven't felt like that in a while, you're not alone. You and I live in a world that just moves way too fast. We're always scrolling and comparing and reacting. There's always something more important than making space for your own ideas, for your own feelings. No wonder you feel so disconnected. But you wanna know something? That creative part of you, it's not gone. It's been in there since you were born. It's connected to your intuition. Creativity is a way to tap into something deeper and more meaningful in your daily life, and today, we are gonna unleash it. And to help me do that, I'm joined by one of the most grounded, and fun, and inspiring, and creatively awake people I know, Phil Cook. Phil is a musician and a songwriter. He's played with Grammy Award-winning artists like Bonnie Raitt, he's produced award-winning gospel records, and he's released his own deeply personal albums. Phil is a walking reminder that creativity is human.

Phil Cook 1:01 Your creativity hones your intuition, so you start to listen to your inner voice more. Most people, I think, want to know what that inner voice is when they feel lost. "Guide me." When we tap into our intuition, what we're really tapping into is a chance to know ourselves in a deeper way.

Mel Robbins 1:19 If some part of you knows there's more to life, there's more to you, there's more than what you're currently experiencing, well, this conversation today is for you. Phil and I are gonna help you tap back into it. [upbeat music]

Mel Robbins 1:35 Phil Cook-

Phil Cook 1:37 [laughing]

Mel Robbins 1:37 ... I am so excited to welcome you to The Mel Robbins Podcast.

Phil Cook 1:42 Thanks, Mel.

Mel Robbins 1:43 I already feel more creative and alive.

Phil Cook 1:45 Hey, I feel very seen. Thank you.

Mel Robbins 1:47 You do?

Phil Cook 1:48 Yeah, yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:49 You know, Phil, I want- I really wanted to talk to you about creativity because you are living it. You have a very creative life. Something about you and the way that you move through life awakens something in me, and I wanted to introduce you to the person who is here s- with us right now. They may be watching on YouTube, you might be taking a walk, or you're driving a car, and Phil and I are now sitting with you. And Phil, I'd love to have you tell the person who's with us right now, what could they experience in their life that might be different about how life feels? If they really take to heart everything that you're about to share with us today about creativity, about the lessons that you've learned by living a creative life, what could be different?

Phil Cook 2:43 Life is hard, and painful, and beautiful, and we are all living in these human bodies, born into this world, and who knows how much time we have. So much is happening around us every single day, so much distraction, so much noise. Life gets, uh, fa- it's like fast-forwarding, right? And sometimes I feel like it's like our senses are this one big inhale of all this information year after year. And creativity allows us to exhale. Works hand in hand with intuition. Intuition is tied to our soul. Our soul, and our intuition, and our creativity all working together at the same time. The thing I wanna talk about today really is your intuition is a voice that's inside of you, that you can come to know this voice inside of you, and come to help you make decisions in your life, like tuning a guitar string to exactly the right pitch of you, you know? And your intuition and your creativity feed each other. Your intuition will, um, inform your creativity, and your creativity hones your intuition, so you start to listen to your inner voice more. Most people, I think, want to know what that inner voice is when they feel lost. "Guide me. Help guide me." So when we tap into our intuition, what we're really tapping into is a chance to know ourselves in a deeper way.

Mel Robbins 4:23 I love what you said about the exhale-

Phil Cook 4:25 Exhale

Mel Robbins 4:25 ... that creativity is a way to exhale, and you are somebody who's made a living s- being creative, as a musician, as a producer-

Phil Cook 4:36 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 4:36 ... as a writer, as, like, all the things that you do.

Phil Cook 4:41 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 4:42 But there's a very big difference between having a career that's creative and introducing creativity-

Phil Cook 4:50 Mm

Mel Robbins 4:50 ... into your life, and you do-

Phil Cook 4:52 Mm

Mel Robbins 4:52 ... both. It's not just a job.

Phil Cook 4:54 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 4:55 You've infused a, this creative spirit into the way that you live your day-to-day life, and I love what you said, that decision making is just like tuning a guitar string-

Phil Cook 5:10 Mm

Mel Robbins 5:10 ... because you're trying to hone in on what actually feels or sounds true for you. What do you say to the person who's listening-

Phil Cook 5:20 Mm

Mel Robbins 5:20 ... who does not think they are creative at all? Like, "This is not a conversation for me. I, I don't know how to write a song. I'm not a good at drawing. I-

Phil Cook 5:28 [laughing]

Mel Robbins 5:29 ... I'm not creative."

Phil Cook 5:30 Oh, yeah.

Mel Robbins 5:30 What do you... Like, what do you say to that person?

Phil Cook 5:33 Right. Well, well, well, let's go through the narratives. You wa- you watch somebody play a Be- a Beethoven piece, and you're just like, "Well, that'll never be me." Or like, "Oh, I tried once in elemente- elementary school," and, you know, somebody said an offhanded remark to you, and like, "Oh, I guess that's not for me. Oh, I shouldn't sing? Oh, I shouldn't sing." You know, people get these, like, microtraumas from childhood that they're like, "This is my story. It's never for me. It's never for me ever again." We need to break those narratives because here's the fact: on your way to work this morning-... a certain song came on, and you cranked that song. That's your song that you cranked. Maybe on your lunch break, you got a certain sandwich that just sent your taste buds afire, and you knew it right, 'cause it's your favorite sandwich in the whole world. Maybe your bathroom, you painted a certain color because you love that color yellow. You have information coming into you from your senses, preferences, things that call to you that you actually do love. When- and there's moments that guide all of us towards what the language of us can be. You can speak the language of you. You just have to pay attention to what it is that you notice about life coming in. What do you notice? What are the patterns that you kinda constantly see? There's a key in there to what you have inside of you to exhale in creativity. I simply want for you to make it through your life with a companion. It really is a companion.

Mel Robbins 7:09 What is a companion?

Phil Cook 7:12 Your intuition and your creativity become something that can be like a light in the dark for you. In the cathedral that we each contain within ourselves, we get to explore this, and this is your way to actually explore it and come to know what it is that makes up what has always been about you and what will always be about you, and what there still is to discover. And all of us need a friend in times when it's, like, the loneliest times of life. And my, my hope for you, the listener, is that I can just encourage you to be worthy of taking on this deeper meaning and existence in your life that could even heal the wounds that you have in the process.

Mel Robbins 7:58 Well, what I'm getting from listening to you is that it's literally like the aliveness of life that flows into you and that can flow out of you. And that brings me to these four principles of creativity that

Mel Robbins 8:12 we're gonna talk about, and the first one that you have is shed the weight of expectations. Now, what does that mean to you, Phil?

Phil Cook 8:20 Shedding the weight is all about worthiness. People have access problems and stories about themselves that are incomplete and limiting. And my, you know, hunch is that most people don't realize how they're already being creative in their life, so many small ways. But to begin to see and hear and understand the language of you, gives you these clues that you have something to say. You can exhale this life, this experience.

Mel Robbins 8:58 You said that there are small ways that you're already being creative, and you don't even realize it.

Phil Cook 9:02 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 9:02 What... Can you give me examples of that?

Phil Cook 9:04 I'll give you an example. Um, okay, so a good example would be for me, if you, um, you know, it's Friday night, it's pizza night. Kids come home from school. You throw the pizza in the oven. You add certain things onto it because your oldest kid likes on half, and the o- the younger kid likes on half.

Mel Robbins 9:24 Yeah.

Phil Cook 9:24 But you like the way that you, you kind of found a different way into it. So even just making a pizza that wasn't there before, you've learned how to make this thing, okay? And then you feed it to your kids. It was not there before, now it's here. Your kids', you know, hunger was not there before, it's here, and then it was satiated. You move on with your day. Maybe there's something that your grandma made for you when you were a kid, and that calls to you, and you decide you're gonna make that for your kids. That is the essential, quintessential version of creativity for me, is to take an existence- something from your existence and your past, in your, in, in your present. You roll it all into a ball, and then you just find a way to put it together in a way that makes sense for you. That can be as simple as that, you know?

Mel Robbins 10:11 As simple as making a pizza.

Phil Cook 10:12 A- uh, making a BLT. Just the way that the lettuce is cut, the way these things happen, or the way that, um, you know... Maybe it's the way you tie a fishing line, just like your grandpa taught you, but you found a way to do it a little bit better, so it doesn't break quite as many times. Eh, you'll know it when you find it, because here's the thing: [exhales] it calls to you. Something is calling to you, okay, across space and time. I don't know what it is, but something is calling to you, and your creativity is in the middle of that. Something is calling to you, and you see it, uh, through your day, you see it through your years, and maybe it's, like, some certain, you know, uh... It could be like a wood carving. It could be something like, "Oh, I always wanted to work with wood. Oh, my gosh, I would love to do pottery someday. Oh, my gosh," you know, and but you've realized it's, like, but not, not surfing, not this. It's like you definitely know, like, "Oh, I really wanna take a pottery class." And why haven't you taken it yet is part of the story you're telling yourself.

Mel Robbins 11:15 And that's the shed the expectation.

Phil Cook 11:16 Oh, yeah.

Mel Robbins 11:16 So is the expectation-

Phil Cook 11:18 Oh, yeah

Mel Robbins 11:18 ... even the weight that you, you put on yourself, that, "I can't be creative. I can't do that," is that what you're talking about?

Phil Cook 11:26 You know, w- talking about, like, you know, shed the expectations is like, understand how you are already living and breathing this life in, and you are already noticing certain patterns in life that you're hearing or you're seeing, certain things you prefer, you like. These are your guideposts. Let them come in. Start to name them, so you understand what they are, and then give these things to yourself in a way that like, is like, "Okay, here's some clues." Sit with yourself, you know? What is it that's calling? What is there- what is it that's calling to you through all of these things? Something is in there that's calling to you, and most listeners, you know what I'm talking about. There's stuff that you know what it is, and you haven't given it to yourself yet, and you've always wanted to do it, and there's, like, an inkling. There's something deeper inside. This is your intuition.

Mel Robbins 12:14 Could it be as simple-... as being, I don't know, somebody that, you know, I'm trying to think of a job where you're basically a walking Excel spreadsheet.

Phil Cook 12:24 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 12:25 Like, it's all about the numbers. It's all about everything lining up. You, you, you-

Phil Cook 12:28 Mm

Mel Robbins 12:28 ... you consider yourself to be just one of those types of people that's not that-

Phil Cook 12:32 Mm

Mel Robbins 12:32 ... creative, even though I think a job like that's very creative.

Phil Cook 12:34 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 12:35 But could it be just this impulse to wanna wear fun socks?

Phil Cook 12:42 Oh, thank you for saying that so much, Mel. The thing is-

Mel Robbins 12:46 [laughing] Look at... He's lifting up his foot-

Phil Cook 12:48 I do

Mel Robbins 12:48 ... on the table, and he's got-

Phil Cook 12:49 Ah

Mel Robbins 12:49 ... he's got music bars on his socks as he's kicking back and having a glass of water.

Phil Cook 12:55 I'm doing the whole interview with this, with this sock up on the table right now, as based on what's happening.

Mel Robbins 12:58 You're gonna pull your groin if you do. [laughing]

Phil Cook 13:00 [laughing] Already did once today.

Mel Robbins 13:02 [laughing]

Phil Cook 13:02 Anyway, all right. Uh, listen, you know, wearing socks is an expression. There's a preference in there. You saw those socks, you bought them, and maybe you're keeping them a secret 'cause they're hidden under those pants all the time, but maybe it's a little giggle. You're there for yourself. You amuse yourself by putting those socks on. Amen! You are being creative today. That is absolutely what it is. You got a belt buckle that you wanna wear sometimes, that is just like, "Well, you know, I don't know if most people care about this or not, but I do." Wear that thing, you know?

Mel Robbins 13:34 Well, what I love about the simplicity of this is that it's accessible to any of us.

Phil Cook 13:43 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 13:44 And the first principle of shedding the weight of expectations is, probably the biggest weight that people have is what you think you're supposed to be-

Phil Cook 13:54 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 13:54 ... versus this small thing that you're inviting us-

Phil Cook 13:58 Mm

Mel Robbins 13:58 ... to pay attention to-

Phil Cook 13:59 Mm

Mel Robbins 13:59 ... that's already inside us.

Phil Cook 14:01 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 14:01 And I absolutely love, I'm gonna keep coming back to it, I'm sure, like the chorus in a song that becomes an earworm, that the fact that there is certain music that makes you come alive, the fact that there are certain places that make you drop your shoulders, the fact that you-

Phil Cook 14:17 Mm

Mel Robbins 14:18 ... can taste certain things and you have this preference, the fact that you like bow ties versus this... This is all evidence of this thing in you that comes alive based on the world itself, and now we're learning about how to allow ourselves-

Phil Cook 14:34 Mm

Mel Robbins 14:34 ... by shedding expectations-

Phil Cook 14:35 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 14:35 ... that we have about who we are, to express that outwardly-

Phil Cook 14:39 Mm

Mel Robbins 14:39 ... even if it's just for yourself.

Phil Cook 14:41 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 14:41 You're wearing funny underwear. Nobody knows-

Phil Cook 14:43 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 14:43 ... but you think it's funny, and-

Phil Cook 14:45 All the way

Mel Robbins 14:45 ... that makes something happen in you.

Phil Cook 14:48 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 14:48 And that's the purpose of creativity.

Phil Cook 14:50 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 14:51 It's both to lift up the spirit, but there was a second part that you're talking about a lot that I wanna keep highlighting, which is the fact that you're noticing in yourself the desire to wear funny underwear, or the desire to have a purple highlighter, or the desire to take the pottery class. That is a way to start to tune your inner guitar string-

Phil Cook 15:15 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 15:15 ... and pay attention to your intuition. And I wanna add to this because I think this principle is so important.

Phil Cook 15:20 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 15:21 There's this famous Pablo Picasso quote, right? "All children are born artists. The problem is to remain an artist as we grow up." And Phil, I was looking at all this research. There was a really landmark study done that was all about creativity, and it was done in 1968, and they found that among five-year-olds, 98% of five-year-olds, like, score crazy high for creativity. By the time adults are tested for creativity, 2% of them.

Phil Cook 15:56 Mm.

Mel Robbins 15:57 And I personally believe it's because at some point, we don't understand that we were all born with this inside us, and we kind of mixed up that being creative is about something that you create that other people like, when really it's about allowing yourself to express yourself in whatever form it's in. And so for me, I love this first rule that you have, that you have to shed the weight of expectations, because it's the expectations that you have on yourself, and that's how you start to close off your own creative expression.

Phil Cook 16:42 Mm-hmm. Uh, oftentimes, parents will close off theirs and surrender it all to their kids. They'll try and put all of their unmet expectations in themselves onto their kids. Piano lessons is a great example. You take piano lessons as a kid, you quit at some point in middle school, and then later on in life, you really miss it, and you're one of those people who says, "I really wish I hadn't quit." But you know what you do? You sign your kids up for lessons because you're like, "Well, you do it. Y- y- y- you..." And then the kids ultimately feel not only the expectation of the pending recital and all of that, that, that c- that happens, that turns a lot of kids off, but also they feel the weight of your unmet expectations in yourself-

Mel Robbins 17:26 Mm

Phil Cook 17:26 ... and the regret. There's an unresolved, um, issue within you that you thrust onto your kids.

Mel Robbins 17:33 [laughing] I did this.

Phil Cook 17:34 I-

Mel Robbins 17:35 I made all my kids take guitar lessons.

Phil Cook 17:36 [laughing]

Mel Robbins 17:38 All of them!

Phil Cook 17:38 I'm telling you.

Mel Robbins 17:38 And I've always wanted to play guitar.

Phil Cook 17:41 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 17:41 I've never picked up a guitar because I have a story that I'm not good at it.

Phil Cook 17:45 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 17:46 Wh- uh, uh, you, you have a banjo in the studio today, and as you were tuning it, I was... I felt this thing stirring, and that is the perfect example and evidence-

Phil Cook 17:58 Mm

Mel Robbins 17:59 ... that there is something in you that is already alive, wanting to be expressed.

Phil Cook 18:03 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 18:04 And somewhere along the le- way, you are the one that blocked it. And so if the person listening is feeling that, should they go take lessons? Like, what, what is the way that you lean in, you shed the weight of expectation-

Phil Cook 18:19 Mm

Mel Robbins 18:19 ... and you lean into this thing?

Phil Cook 18:20 Mm.... this needs to be resolved and healed on a broad scale. This specific, just the piano lesson example, okay?

Mel Robbins 18:32 Okay, you've got strong opinions-

Phil Cook 18:34 This is a broad-

Mel Robbins 18:34 ... about this.

Phil Cook 18:34 I really do-

Mel Robbins 18:35 Okay

Phil Cook 18:35 ... because I have met so many adults that are sitting in that regret, and they get to the end of their life. The message is this: let your children witness you reconnecting to something that you lost when you were young, and let them... This is for you to build a relationship and reconnect with yourself again, and then when your kids see you do that, they will understand something about the ongoing journey of life. It doesn't end when something ends. You always have a choice.

Mel Robbins 19:12 I love how you explain things, Phil.

Mel Robbins 19:14 Principle number two, lower the stakes. Phil Cook, what does that mean?

Phil Cook 19:19 Creativity and intuition are the language of your soul. I'm gonna speak on this level. This is how I talk. This is me, okay? This is where I've arrived in life. I talk on this level. I'll talk to, on this level to the person who I see outside the door, whoever is near me at any place. This is just the level that I wanna be at and operate and vibrate at.

Mel Robbins 19:41 Great.

Phil Cook 19:41 So this is where I'm at, you know?

Mel Robbins 19:43 You know what I say.

Phil Cook 19:44 Mm.

Mel Robbins 19:44 Let them.

Phil Cook 19:45 Let them. This is the language of your soul. Your soul is... There's no one else in there. It's just you. You're the only one in there, Mel. I'm the only one in here. There's no one else in here with us, right? And it can be a scary place in here, you know? And that voice, you know that drill sergeant voice, when it starts rocketing down, you know, at you and telling you you're doing everything wrong, you're not good enough, and all these things, right? But we have to actually break things down and lower the stakes. How do we do that? In my, you know, in my humble opinion, like, we just have to understand that this is our realm. It doesn't belong to the same time and space that our society is pressing upon us at all times, okay? This is your realm. This is the language of you. This is a place where you belong to you, okay? And in that realm, you assign the values. You have to assign your own value to what it is, nobody else's value.

Mel Robbins 20:41 And here's the thing about creativity, and I... You may disagree. We get so up in our heads, and I think the reason why we do is because when I hear the word creativity, I think about the output of the thing, and then I immediately think about how other people are gonna react to it. And for me, when I-- when you told me that one of your principles is lowering the stakes, I started to think a lot about the fact m- a lot of us edit ourselves, and we tell ourselves we're not creative-

Phil Cook 21:17 Mm

Mel Robbins 21:17 ... because we think what we're gonna make sucks.

Phil Cook 21:19 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 21:20 And that's not the way to think about this, as I'm listening to you.

Phil Cook 21:24 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 21:25 That creativity has nothing to do with the physical object or the song or the painting or what other people are going to do in reaction to it. Creativity, and the purpose of it, is for something inside of you to come alive.

Phil Cook 21:44 Mm.

Mel Robbins 21:44 And so lowering the stakes for me sounds a little bit like this: It's not that deep. It's not that deep, Mel. [laughing] We're literally talking about allowing yourself to play the piano-

Phil Cook 21:54 Mm

Mel Robbins 21:55 ... or to wear funky underwear, which now I feel like I need to go out and buy crazy underwear-

Phil Cook 21:59 Me too, 100%

Mel Robbins 21:59 ... just to, like, have a funny little secret that makes you feel a little bit more-

Phil Cook 22:03 I'm gonna wear them over my jeans.

Mel Robbins 22:04 Over your jeans. [laughing]

Phil Cook 22:07 Out loud. Out loud.

Mel Robbins 22:09 [laughing] Well, you know what's interesting about that? Is that-

Phil Cook 22:14 [chuckles]

Mel Robbins 22:14 ... if it's not that deep, and you're lowering the stakes, you're like, can you imagine what a day would look like if you came downstairs in your house, just for the fun of it, because you heard Phil Cook make a joke, and you're like, "You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna, I'm gonna shake up my family on a Monday morning."

Phil Cook 22:29 Oh, yeah.

Mel Robbins 22:29 "I'm gonna come downstairs with a s- like, just a really serious look on my face, and I'm gonna have a pair of, like, printed Speedo underwear-

Phil Cook 22:38 Right

Mel Robbins 22:38 ... with banana print on it, ha- like, on top of my jeans."

Phil Cook 22:41 Right.

Mel Robbins 22:41 "And I'm gonna see how long it takes to, for people to notice." [chuckles] "Just because I had this thing where Phil made me laugh," and the fact that I laughed is sign that I'm a creative, artistic person.

Phil Cook 22:53 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 22:54 And now the fact that I'm even thinking about doing it-

Phil Cook 22:57 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 22:57 ... it's not that deep.

Phil Cook 22:58 Mm-mm.

Mel Robbins 22:59 But something comes alive, and you'll remember that Monday.

Phil Cook 23:02 Oh, yeah.

Mel Robbins 23:03 And isn't that the point of this? And so I, I personally feel like lowering the stakes for me means before you start thinking about how good or bad the thing is-

Phil Cook 23:12 Mm-hmm, you can't

Mel Robbins 23:13 ... just think ab- you can't.

Phil Cook 23:15 Mm-mm.

Mel Robbins 23:16 You can't. There is a value in your life.

Phil Cook 23:20 You know, Martin Scorsese, "The personal is profound."

Mel Robbins 23:26 What does that mean? That's a little deep for me.

Phil Cook 23:27 "The personal is profound." Uh, you may be thinking big, but big is a product of commerce. You're talking about artifact. You're talking about consumption. You're talking about sale. You're talking about all this stuff. In this world where all these things move fast-

Mel Robbins 23:42 Mm

Phil Cook 23:42 ... this is a world where dreams go to die. This is the world where comparison sneaks in and ste- steals everything from you and steals your authenticity, right? We don't want this. We don't need any of that. You just gotta make something that really makes sense to you and is personal to you. And even understanding that, like, you may not understand what you're doing at some times, but as your senses guide you, you will begin to understand there are things that a- at play here, and when you get out of your own way and let the universe unfold through you, you have no control over the ending of this. You just get out of the way, and you can just kinda have to let go of it. I've seen a lot of records, uh, uh, a lot of artists kill, kill their record or kill, like, their chance at releasing it right at that last 5%, when they've put all of their energy into it, and then they feel this massive sweep of vulnerability come in, where they're like, "Oh, my God, everyone's gonna think this is terrible. Everyone's gonna..." Like, it's the last minute. That's the place where a lot of records and a lot of things die because you're getting ready to release it into the world, where you have no control over what's gonna happen, right?... most things, you don't have to release them into the world, right?

Mel Robbins 24:50 But hold on. I want, I wanna make this relatable.

Phil Cook 24:52 Yeah. Yeah.

Mel Robbins 24:53 Because if-

Phil Cook 24:54 Yeah

Mel Robbins 24:54 ... you've ever wanted to have bright yellow nail polish-

Phil Cook 24:57 Yeah. [chuckles]

Mel Robbins 24:58 ... and you go, and you start painting it, and the nails are almost done, and-

Phil Cook 25:05 Yeah

Mel Robbins 25:05 ... you're about to be finished-

Phil Cook 25:07 Yeah

Mel Robbins 25:07 ... and you like it, but then you think, "What are people gonna think? Maybe this is too bright,"

Phil Cook 25:11 Mm.

Mel Robbins 25:11 That is that 5% moment-

Phil Cook 25:13 Yes

Mel Robbins 25:14 ... that you're talking about.

Phil Cook 25:16 Yes.

Mel Robbins 25:16 And we all have it.

Phil Cook 25:17 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 25:18 A- and you, you are a creative person at work. If you're the kind of person that sits at work, and you have ideas in meetings all the time, and they get right from your chest, up your throat, out to your mouth, yet they hit, like, right at the jaw-

Phil Cook 25:33 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 25:33 Ah!

Phil Cook 25:33 Fab your teeth. [chuckles]

Mel Robbins 25:34 That's what you're talking about.

Phil Cook 25:36 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 25:37 That there is a moment where y- the create- the creativity is about to flow through you-

Phil Cook 25:45 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 25:46 ... that you then close the gates-

Phil Cook 25:49 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 25:49 ... and you're saying, "You gotta lower the stakes."

Phil Cook 25:51 Right there, that's the spot. The, the, the indicator is that how vulnerable you feel is an indicator of how personal of something that you made. What lies on the other side, if you push through that, is something you don't even understand how meaningful that's gonna be in your life.

Mel Robbins 26:10 What is it? Like, what is it that allows you, if you walk out-

Phil Cook 26:13 It's a trust

Mel Robbins 26:13 ... of the nail salon-

Phil Cook 26:13 Yes

Mel Robbins 26:13 ... with the yellow nails?

Phil Cook 26:15 What it is, is, like, it's betting on yourself, and it's, it's actually realizing that your limitations are your liberation in this realm, and your, and your limitations dictate your style, and that your style is only you, and only you could have made this thing. And if you find a window to actually just, like, trust... It's a trust fall. If you find a window to actually, like, follow through and release this into the world, what you find, actually, is that, like, people will meet you there. Even if it's one friend, and you've never written... You've never read one of your science fiction stories, and you're sitting there, and you've written, like, 60 of them, and you're just like, something is calling you, and there's one person that, maybe only one person you think that you're safe enough to l- to read it to, that's a powerful moment where you actually witness yourself. It's the completion of that that actually hones your intuition. That's actually the exhale.

Mel Robbins 27:13 Mm.

Phil Cook 27:13 When you get there, that's the exhale. And once you do exhale, like, you actually get to inhale again, but this time with a different, fresh oxygen. Y- you have fresh experience, and something new is gonna come in, and then the breathing process happens over and over. And then you start to realize you c- have an intuition and an inner voice, and if you start to trust it, all the doubt comes flooding in, and you're like, "I just gotta push through this. I have no idea why, but I just have to allow it to go." And you just, like, close your eyes and just be like, "Que sera sera," you know?

Mel Robbins 27:46 Your third principle is bring yourself to work. What does that mean?

Phil Cook 27:48 Oh, my gosh. Well, for example, uh, my career is all about music. My bringing myself to the work obviously can mean spending time at the piano every day, spending time with an instrument. It's bringing yourself to the altar where you are spending time with yourself and developing, right? But, you know, for me, I mean, let's look at this real quick.

Mel Robbins 28:09 He's got a tray of rocks, everybody.

Phil Cook 28:10 Okay.

Mel Robbins 28:10 He's got rocks and things. What is it? What is this? What-

Phil Cook 28:13 This is not work to me-

Mel Robbins 28:14 [laughing]

Phil Cook 28:14 ... which I love so much, okay?

Mel Robbins 28:16 Okay. [laughing]

Phil Cook 28:16 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm clumsy. [chuckles] Like, I have... Like, I always like to say, my gross motor skills are gross. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, gross.

Mel Robbins 28:26 [laughing]

Phil Cook 28:26 Like, I, of my life, I trip and fall in public. I, like, I, I, like... I look around, and I'm like, "Oh, man, am I the only person that trips this much in public?" I drop things when I'm carrying two things. Like, I've always been clumsy, [chuckles] so I have to look down when I walk.

Mel Robbins 28:40 Okay.

Phil Cook 28:40 Okay? This is my limitation. I've realized this about myself. One of my limitations is I'm clumsy, so I have to look down so I don't trip on things. But when I, in the process of that, I started noticing rocks. You know what I mean? [chuckles] 'Cause I'm looking down all the time. So, uh, so it's funny, like, when we assign a value... Like, I just, like, don't know why I pick certain rocks up, but I'm just like, "Okay, here we are. I'm somewhere. I'm somewhere out. Maybe I'm in Lake Superior." And I find, "Oh, here's a rock that has a perfect stripe on it. Oh, my gosh, I love that stripe. Look at it. I don't know why I do. Gosh, I... That's a great stripe in there. Oh, here's another one." I have a whole three windowsills in my house right now that are filled with just rocks that have stripes. This is the one I got. This is yours, Mel, actually. This is the one I got for you.

Mel Robbins 29:22 Is that a heart?

Phil Cook 29:23 Mm, sure.

Mel Robbins 29:24 Yes!

Phil Cook 29:25 There it is, right there.

Mel Robbins 29:25 It is a heart.

Phil Cook 29:26 It's all in how you see it, Mel.

Mel Robbins 29:27 That's right.

Phil Cook 29:27 Hundred percent.

Mel Robbins 29:27 You twisted it, and now it's a heart.

Phil Cook 29:29 Exactly. And I don't know the names of these things. This is just my intuition, but in my, in my realm with, like, just picking up rocks, I just decided that I v- I value these different things, and, like, I like how they look. I like how they feel. I surround myself in my house with them, and I realize over time how much that means to me to just be, have all these rocks around me that I'm like, "Oh, these are all, like, millions of years old, way older than anything I'm ever gonna understand in my life." There's something in there, right? And after I die and I'm gone away, someone will probably throw these on the ground, and they'll just be rocks again.

Mel Robbins 30:00 Well, you know what? They weren't for them.

Phil Cook 30:02 You know?

Mel Robbins 30:02 They were for you.

Phil Cook 30:03 Maybe, well-

Mel Robbins 30:03 And this is what I wanna say about this, okay?

Phil Cook 30:06 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 30:06 Because a lot of people, myself included, when they hear the word creativity, they think painting, they think music, they think knitting, they think building, they think, you know, pottery, they think writing, they think art, they think about the output.

Phil Cook 30:26 Mm.

Mel Robbins 30:27 But what I love about these examples, and especially the way you come alive, when you explain how taking a walk and actually noticing what rocks you're drawn to-

Phil Cook 30:41 Oh, yeah

Mel Robbins 30:42 ... is creativity. Because your intuition is what is pulling you toward certain rocks. You don't pick them all up.

Phil Cook 30:50 No.

Mel Robbins 30:51 ... and what you feel about it-

Phil Cook 30:54 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 30:55 ... is creativity coming alive inside you. And we've all had those experiences of walking on a beach or walking on a trail, and you stumble upon something, a shell, a rock, a feather-

Phil Cook 31:07 This one.

Mel Robbins 31:07 -a cool thing. Look at that one!

Phil Cook 31:08 Look at that one.

Mel Robbins 31:09 And that is the power of creativity in your life-

Phil Cook 31:12 Yes

Mel Robbins 31:12 ... because it's no longer just a boring-ass walk.

Phil Cook 31:15 No.

Mel Robbins 31:16 You are connected to something bigger, and that bigger thing is both yourself- [chuckles]

Phil Cook 31:21 Yeah

Mel Robbins 31:22 ... and the larger forces at work in the world. What I love about this conversation is it's broadening out what it means to live a creative life. Like, how you organize a shelf, whether or not you collect shells or-

Phil Cook 31:35 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 31:35 ... certain types of statues-

Phil Cook 31:37 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 31:37 ... how you solve a problem-

Phil Cook 31:38 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 31:38 ... how you may talk to a customer, that you drop your tone of voice in order to kind of play the note to get-

Phil Cook 31:44 Mm

Mel Robbins 31:44 ... somebody to, like, all of that is what you're talking about when you say creativity. You know, you've spoken a lot about your kids. You have two sons, one with autism. How has your son's way of seeing the world shaped how you show up creatively? I mean, do you see echoes of his perspective in your own way that you move through the world?

Phil Cook 32:13 Mm. Um, my kids are my greatest teachers, and I've come to know them as that. They help me to see myself in real time, dealing the cards that I was dealt and understanding the choices that I'm making every day, you know? And the way they both see the world, um, has really helped me to understand how I see the world, too, you know? My oldest son is 14, just turned 14. He has autism, and um, autism is a... It's like your five senses are on, are wide open with no filter at all times. So everything is coming in at all times, to full kind of overload. And the effect of that, for me, to understand over time, experientially, you know, what it must be like to be in that body is perceiving so much at all time. It's hard to know exactly how to talk about it. And, uh, I've come to understand that autism is, autism is an evolution in my heart, in my mind, the way I feel and understand him. It's a return to nature. It's beautiful, the way [exhales] nature exists as it is, and we should be looking to- we, we should be- I should be looking to my son to really understand, like, how many ways our society has just gradually boilerplated up the amount of noise, the amount of just, like, violence that we have to take in, the amount of just distraction, the amount of everything, and we've kind of agreed to it on all these terms, where we've become so numb to it. And the reminder of him, to me, is to like, be like, "I can't believe how much we've accepted"-

Mel Robbins 34:12 Mm.

Phil Cook 34:13 ... "how much noise and volume we've accepted, how much terror, you know, we've accepted as just this is how things are." Um, and forgetting that all of us bring not only the energy we bring, but all this internal energy that we have all day. There was a day, there was a day like two weeks ago, um, and I was having, I was having a hard moment. It was internal. I was in the bathroom. I was taking a shower, so he was in a different room, and it was, it was... I was, I was going through it. I was just really being hard on myself, 'cause I still am capable of that any day of the week. And he knocks on the door, and he just comes in, and he just gives me a hug. He knew from two rooms away. He could feel it from two rooms away, that Dad's having a hard time. So I imagine what it's like for him to be in a crowd or him to be at school all day and have to absorb all these inner conflicts that people are having with themselves, and then all the rest of it. So I've found when I see him going through his days, is that creating an environment that fosters, you know, like, quiet and peace-

Mel Robbins 35:27 Mm

Phil Cook 35:28 ... is, is one level. Um, playing my piano in a very certain way at night when they go to bed, gently, you know? And then, you know, just paying attention to, like... He helps me. I watch him when he meets people. I watch him when he's reading a room, and he's like a guide for me of, like, what's really going on in this room energetically, what's going on. I learn so much from him all the time, and he has such a purity to him. And I realize when I watch him, how, like, he is with animals, especially how he is with babies. He's so pure, and, like, every baby that comes up to him, just, like, they just light up with him for some reason. They just- whatever, any kind of kid that he has, even if they're just a really closed off or scared or timid child, he somehow has this way of just, like, meeting them exactly where they are, and they, and they just, they just open right up to him. There's a purity in there and a return to nature, is what I'm saying. So I think for me, I just... You know, I realize how important it is for him to have his very quiet sanctuary place. Funny enough, when he gets home from school, his sanctuary in his room is where he puts on Thunderstruck by AC/DC every single day after school and turns it up, and I hear a bunch of banging around in the room. I have no idea what's going on in there, but I assume it's awesome. Uh, it's very private. [laughing] Um, probably dancing and air guitaring, whatever it is, you know. But he- everyone needs that. Everyone needs that space to regroup. You know, we gotta find that sanctuary, regroup, and, and, and, and everyone

Phil Cook 37:00 needs it.

Mel Robbins 37:00 You know, you mentioned actually the fourth principle. You mentioned the word sanctuary.... find a sanctuary for your creativity. What, what does that even mean, and how does the person who's been listening, and laughing, and starting to come alive as they're thinking about wearing their underwear over their pants [laughing] and finding rocks on the beach, and walking up to the piano, or-

Phil Cook 37:24 Yeah

Mel Robbins 37:25 ... just, like, having more fun or starting to write or color again, what does finding your sanctuary mean?

Phil Cook 37:33 Mm. Sanctuary is a place where the world falls away. And what that means to you is what it means to you.

Mel Robbins 37:44 Mm.

Phil Cook 37:44 It's just a place that you find the world falls away. It could be while you're cooking, you know? It could be while you're just taking a walk. It could be that song that you know, and you put it on, nothing else is happening in the world. Nothing else. It doesn't matter, you're singing along, you're one with it, you're in your thing, you're flowing, you're in the- you're in your space. You're safe. Even if it's three minutes, even if it's your car. Sanctuary can be a rock in your pocket that just brings you back to a time where you just... Something was really important and meaningful in your life, and when you touch it, you realize, like, "Okay, I'm gonna get through this." Sanctuaries everywhere, all around us, all the time. You just have to find and notice what yours is, and then start to explore what it is. Start to explore your sanctuary. It can be made out of, you know, all the things that you like, all the rocks, all the things, all the wood, all the jokes you have. You surround yourself by these things and understand, like, this is you belonging to you. I belong to striped rocks.

Mel Robbins 38:48 [laughing]

Phil Cook 38:48 I belong to Curtis Mayfield's voice, you know? I belong to northern Wisconsin and the lakes. I belong to fireside conversations with deep chosen family and friends. These are the things that I belong to. These are all my sanctuary. So practicing these means you're building the thing that is safe from outside intrusion.

Mel Robbins 39:12 Phil, that is so beautiful, and I, I wanna offer up a couple examples because I love that you said it's all around you, and it's something that you need, and it's something that you can take with you. And so for me, as you were describing the various things, I started thinking about the walk that I take my dogs on. I started thinking about the place that I like to sit at home-

Phil Cook 39:35 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 39:35 ... underneath this cover in my favorite old Adirondack chair. And I started thinking about, um... I don't know why I'm crying, but I feel- I- [laughing] I-

Phil Cook 39:48 It's there.

Mel Robbins 39:48 Yeah, because it's there.

Phil Cook 39:49 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 39:49 I'm thinking about, like, just being out in the garden.

Phil Cook 39:51 Mm.

Mel Robbins 39:51 I love to just walk around. It sounds kinda dumb, but it isn't-

Phil Cook 39:56 It's so good

Mel Robbins 39:56 ... and just look, "Okay, what came up today? What little weed is growing to- let me pull that out. Let me admire the flower that's starting to open." There's millions of places, in front of a fire, reading a book. Like, if you really start to think about this-

Phil Cook 40:10 Mm

Mel Robbins 40:10 ... there are places where this happens for you. And what you're saying in terms of tapping into and unlocking the force of creativity and intuition in your life, is it paying attention to those places, and spaces, and times of day, or the thing on the shelf, or the photo of somebody that really allows you to stop and exhale?

Phil Cook 40:40 Mm.

Mel Robbins 40:40 That's what you mean by sanctuary. You don't have to create anything there.

Phil Cook 40:44 You don't need an altar. You just have to realize it's, it's in here. It's in here where you're trying to build, you know? This is where you find yourself over and over again and where you meet yourself fully.

Mel Robbins 40:57 How do you think the person listening or watching right now could go about this? Like, what would you say if so- if somebody's never thought about this? I mean, I kinda believe that even as you're hearing us share what we're sharing-

Phil Cook 41:10 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 41:10 ... that there's something inside you, that guitar string is-

Phil Cook 41:14 Mm

Mel Robbins 41:14 ... starting to shake a little, like you're starting to attune to what you're saying. So I think you do know, but if you were to give somebody just a simple thing to do, what would it be in order to start to find that sanctuary, that place for you, where the world drops away?

Phil Cook 41:34 [exhaling] Find a way to start where you are. You might be a city person, and your whole life is bustle and hustle, and that's what you understand about the rhythm of life. That's the music you're hearing. That's the landscape you're reading every day. That's where you're gonna draw from. If you're in the country, if you're in the desert, if you're at the ocean, wherever that landscape is, where you start, that's where you start. Your environment is there. That's the landscape you're reading. All the patterns that you're taking in with your five senses are just coming in through that landscape, you know? And so start to just pay attention to what you notice. Start to notice what you notice. And worthiness, you have to always understand, look, you are somebody's daughter. You are somebody's mother. You are somebody's aunt. You are somebody's granddaughter. All these people are a circle around you, and I know that there's people in your life that just loved you for exactly who you were and saw you and got you. Doesn't have to be a lot of people, but you belong to that space, and you need to see yourself from their point of view. I always tell people, like, when you're listening to those mixes on the couch, and you're just listening for, "Am I out of tune? If this is gonna happen... Oh, my gosh, what's gonna happen?" And you're just only criticizing, just be like, "What if your grandma was sitting on the couch next to you?" You know? And she's listening. She'd just be sitting there just going-... It's great. [laughs] So great, you know? It's so great. Oh, ooh, wow! Ooh, cool. Yeah.

Mel Robbins 43:08 [laughs]

Phil Cook 43:08 You know what I mean? My grandma was really wild and zany, but, like, it's just bring her, bring her in there. Like, put her in there. That's the, that, that's the voice you are hearing with- That's the love that accepted you. That's why you're doing what you do. You need to live in that space. Grandmother energy is the energy we all need, always, all time. It's... There's a universal, benevolent, wonderful, abundant life force-

Mel Robbins 43:29 Mm

Phil Cook 43:29 ... that passes through, that, you know, all of us can draw from. We know what it is, even if we didn't necessarily get it, right? You know what that is. It's unconditional love. It's really being seen. What do we need? We need to be seen in our life.

Mel Robbins 43:43 Well, I think first you have to see yourself, and what I love about Find a Sanctuary-

Phil Cook 43:48 Yeah

Mel Robbins 43:48 ... is that it's, for all of us, there is a place where you feel like you can exhale. In fact, Baudelaire, who is-

Phil Cook 43:57 Mm

Mel Robbins 43:57 ... the extraordinary producer that worked with you and me on this episode today, was saying that when he was in New York City, that sanctuary for him was Central Park.

Phil Cook 44:06 Mm.

Mel Robbins 44:06 That's where he would go in the middle of the day, uh, you know, in a busy workday, just to exhale. There is a place.

Phil Cook 44:12 Mm.

Mel Robbins 44:13 There's a walk.

Phil Cook 44:14 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 44:14 There's a trail that you like, where you look down and look for rocks, or you look up and look at the birds, and so I think you can start there-

Phil Cook 44:23 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 44:24 ... and then notice-

Phil Cook 44:26 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 44:27 ... what happens.

Phil Cook 44:29 When you find a way to actually meet yourself there, if what you're doing produces some kind of a thing, and you know exactly who that's for, and you make it for somebody, and you have that in your heart, then you really truly know how to breathe out this creativity. That's truly where it is. It doesn't even ever have to go beyond that. It can just be sharing it with one person that you make it for. And last fall... This is the newest thing. This is the newest thing right here. I grew up a Boy Scout. I had a pocket knife that I had, and I would just, like, thup, thup, thup, thup, thup, thup, thup.

Mel Robbins 45:03 [chuckles]

Phil Cook 45:03 And I made points for 40 years. I would just sit there and make, "Oh, yeah, cool," thup, thup, thup, thup, thup, you know? Just hacking-

Mel Robbins 45:08 Whittling

Phil Cook 45:09 ... hacking away like a man hacking a brush. You know what I mean? Uh, and, and so whittling, right? But it was, like, so crude, such a crude thing. And I'm at a fire with my friend Daniel last fall, and we're having... We're up all night, and I can't see because it's a fire. I can't see my hands. And I start by going thup, thup, thup, thup, thup. And eventually I realize, I start to talk about my girlfriend, whose father has just passed away suddenly, um, and all the worry I have for her, and I wish I could take this worry off of her. You know, and I'm sitting and talking, and I realize that by feel, I'm just slowly, like, using the knife, I'm, I'm kind of unconsciously getting out of my own way.

Mel Robbins 45:48 Mm.

Phil Cook 45:48 I don't know what's going on. I'm not sure. I'm just talking, and this is happening. And essentially, by hour's end, I carved, like, basically the shape of the inside of my hand.

Mel Robbins 45:59 Into wood?

Phil Cook 46:00 Into wood. And I've, and I've shaved it with the blade, with the edge, I've shaved it smooth. And I shaved a worry path for a thumb in there, and I, and I worried it out. Like, I worried the whole thing out, and I knew it was for her when I gave it to her because I had worried about her while I made it. And then I realized in that moment how I was a chain right there with, uh... My grandpa gave me a whetstone when I was a kid, and I have his wood carving knife above my mantle. I've never used it, just sat there. I've always wanted to work with wood my whole life, always wanted to. I always like, "Oh, I wanna make a chair. I wanna make something like that." That's called to me. Like, that's something that called to me since I was a kid, but I was like, "I'm clumsy. I play piano. There's no way I'm not cutting a finger off."

Mel Robbins 46:44 [laughs]

Phil Cook 46:44 "There's just no way I'm gonna cut my finger off."

Mel Robbins 46:47 [laughs]

Phil Cook 46:47 So that desire, though, called to me and called to me. Yeah, I'm 45 years old, and I'm- and I, and I'm sitting on this fire, and I realize in that moment that my intuition is taking care of it for me. It's doing it for me. I got out of my own way long enough for me to realize that I did something for directly to someone else, and I can do this, and so this is what I've been doing. And I'm sharing it with the audience today because it's very private for me. It's very private. It's just something one-to-one. I, I... But I'm doing it because I have an opportunity to just talk about something that's very personal to me, and I don't care how good it is. I don't care. There are people that can whittle a, a loon right now out of something.

Mel Robbins 47:23 [laughs]

Phil Cook 47:23 You know what I mean? That's good. This is what my things look like, you know?

Mel Robbins 47:27 [laughs] Oh, my God!

Phil Cook 47:28 But last week I was at my cabin-

Mel Robbins 47:30 [laughs]

Phil Cook 47:30 ... you know, and, um, you know, and when I... I make one for them. So this is with an M. This is the Mel.

Mel Robbins 47:36 Oh, Phil!

Phil Cook 47:39 So this is a-

Mel Robbins 47:41 Oh, my gosh, it's so smooth.

Phil Cook 47:43 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 47:43 It's like you can hol- You literally-

Phil Cook 47:46 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 47:46 It's like... I feel like you're holding your finger.

Phil Cook 47:48 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 47:48 And then you're like... It's like having somebody's hand in your hand. And then you've got this little, like, like, a thing that you rub your-

Phil Cook 47:57 Yeah. Never gonna sell them. I'm never gonna make them again. It's just, like, I'm just... I just, I flap- When I was a kid, I flapped a lot when I get excited.

Mel Robbins 48:04 [chuckles]

Phil Cook 48:04 I have a lot of energy, and it's just a way for me to, like-

Mel Robbins 48:06 [laughs]

Phil Cook 48:07 ... It, it just helps me worry away something and also think about somebody, and that's just my own thing. That's, like, something that intuition told me to do, and somehow I got in my own way enough to realize that it connected me to my mother and my grandfather, and that I'm just following suit in this longer line. And I'm very honored to be on this podcast, and this is just something that I, I just... Yeah.

Mel Robbins 48:33 I am so honored.

Phil Cook 48:34 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 48:34 I feel like I have a piece of you-

Phil Cook 48:36 Yeah

Mel Robbins 48:36 ... 'cause I do.

Phil Cook 48:37 Yeah. And keep it in your pocket.

Mel Robbins 48:39 I will keep it in my pocket.

Phil Cook 48:41 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 48:41 I love this.

Phil Cook 48:42 You're welcome. Yeah.

Mel Robbins 48:43 And I love absolutely everything that you have shared-

Phil Cook 48:46 Mm

Mel Robbins 48:46 ... today. I got so much out of this.

Phil Cook 48:50 Me too.

Mel Robbins 48:50 I mean, what a, what a gift you are.

Phil Cook 48:53 Mm.

Mel Robbins 48:54 I would love, Phil, for you to speak directly to the person who has been with us, and if they take one action out of everything-... that you have shared today, what do you think the most important thing to do is?

Phil Cook 49:21 Know that you belong to you. Know that there's nobody else in there, and if you can find a way to talk to yourself and give yourself what you need, like a, like a, like a friend, be that to yourself. That there's so much in store, the depth, not the quantity, the quality of your life, your, your inner world and these things. We go to therapy, these are helpful. We meditate, and we go for runs, but there's a different expression. Our soul longs for things that are older than we know, and we can participate in this life in a way that really tells a story, why we're here, what we're doing here, you know? In a way for others to know, in a way for others to feel. And you paying attention to your inner voice and coming to know what that is through creativity and knowing that you already are, in your own way, you already are, you know, allows you to be a part of that story in a way that you will ultimately understand in some way. And in some ways, you won't, and that's what's so beautiful about it because you know not the seeds you plant when you say yes to you, you know?

Mel Robbins 50:43 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Phil Cook 50:44 Uh-huh.

Mel Robbins 50:45 Well, first of all, I'm gonna take my worry whittle-

Phil Cook 50:48 My worry stick

Mel Robbins 50:49 ... wood. My-

Phil Cook 50:50 Call it the worry stick.

Mel Robbins 50:50 My worry stick. [chuckles] Okay, it's called a worry stick.

Phil Cook 50:52 [chuckles]

Mel Robbins 50:52 I'm gonna take my Phil's worried- worry stick, [chuckles] I'm gonna stick it in my pocket, and then I'm gonna go out to my favorite place to walk-

Phil Cook 51:01 Mm-hmm

Mel Robbins 51:01 ... and I'm gonna look for a striped stone.

Phil Cook 51:03 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 51:04 And when I see-

Phil Cook 51:04 Find it

Mel Robbins 51:04 ... a stone with a stripe in it, I'm going to pick it up and put it in my pocket next to-

Phil Cook 51:09 Mm

Mel Robbins 51:09 ... my worry stick.

Phil Cook 51:10 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 51:10 And I am going to put it somewhere that I'm gonna see, probably my bedside table-

Phil Cook 51:14 Mm

Mel Robbins 51:14 ... every single day.

Phil Cook 51:15 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 51:15 And I'm gonna have that striped rock be a reminder of you, Phil-

Phil Cook 51:19 Mm

Mel Robbins 51:20 ... and a reminder that I am a creative person.

Phil Cook 51:24 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 51:25 I will never, ever look at creativity the same way-

Phil Cook 51:32 Mm

Mel Robbins 51:32 ... again. Like, I really get that it's like a part of who you are, that it's like something there for you to tap into-

Phil Cook 51:40 Yeah

Mel Robbins 51:41 ... that deepens your experience of life itself.

Phil Cook 51:43 Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 51:45 Yeah, I just totally get it, Phil. Thank you.

Phil Cook 51:49 Thank you for having me here. I just am so- I'm so honored. This is amazing. You know, honestly, I mean, you know, we, you know... Having to, like, shed the weight, all the steps that were in here applied to everything last night in the hotel room even. You know, me just preparing to get onto this show. I had to go through all four of these steps last night to, like, remind myself that it's okay that I'm doing this and that, you know, I mean, sometimes you're just a 46-year-old guy who's just, you know, freshly divorced and trying to raise two kids and starting over with his life, and you get through a strange series of circumstances. You get asked to be on a show that's full of researchers and experts, and you're like, "How do I unhook from that? How do I actually... I mean, is this a test to fail? How do I get there?" All the things were happening in my head, you know? But, like, this is, I'm t- I'm telling you, I'm serious. It's just, like, for me, like, to have these artifacts around me and just bring them with me 'cause I trusted in them, and I, I, I ran my thumb on that thing all night last night, and I just, like, had my grandma and that look on her face the whole night, and I realized, like, "It's okay, Phil, just..." I know what she'd tell me, you know, "Just you do you, man. It should be okay." You know? Like, there's- this is, it's okay, you know? I know so many people that, that I would love, that deserve to be on this show, and that I think are just beautiful thinkers, and they're the most inspirational people in my life, and they're all here with me today. And, um, yeah, I'm so grateful.

Mel Robbins 53:13 Phil Cook, you are an incredible human being.

Phil Cook 53:18 Oh, so are you, Mel Robbins.

Mel Robbins 53:20 Thank you.

Phil Cook 53:21 So are you.

Mel Robbins 53:22 Thank you.

Phil Cook 53:23 Yes.

Mel Robbins 53:24 Thank you for being here. Thank you for just exhaling-

Phil Cook 53:29 Yeah

Mel Robbins 53:30 ... with us to- today and teaching us to-

Phil Cook 53:33 [chuckles]

Mel Robbins 53:33 ... exhale and tap into that-

Phil Cook 53:36 Mm

Mel Robbins 53:37 ... undeniable creative force that's inside each and every one of us. And I mean, just thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.

Phil Cook 53:47 Love you. Thank you.

Mel Robbins 53:48 You're welcome. And I love you. I love you for taking the time to listen to something that will help you come alive, and thank you for sharing this with everybody in your life that you care about. Everybody needs a little Phil Cook in their life. [chuckles] Um, and I- it's my honor to have introduced you to him. Thank you for being here. In case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And I promise you, tapping into this creative force within you, learning how to exhale, holy cow, is that gonna make your life better. All righty, I will see you in the next episode. I'll be waiting for you the moment you hit play to welcome you in. I'll see you then. Thank you so much for watching all the way to the end. Don't you love Phil? Oh, my God, I love Phil, and I know that everybody that you share this episode with is not only gonna love Phil too, but they're gonna love feeling that creativity stir again. So thank you, thank you, thank you for being generous with this episode. Thank you for hitting subscribe, because it's really a way that you can support me and my team in bringing you these amazing episodes for free. And speaking of episodes, I know you're thinking, "All right, what's the next thing that I should watch?" This is the video that you're gonna love, and I'll be waiting to welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there.