The Mel Robbins Podcast5 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
105 min read · 21,354 words- 0:00 – 3:26
Intro
- MRMel Robbins
When I'm out and about and I have the absolute honor of bumping into you, after we go, "Oh my God." And I started to notice that you all like the same episodes. And so today, you are gonna get, (drum roll) ba-da-dum, I feel like I need a drum roll, five pieces of advice from experts on this podcast that you have loved and commented on. Our conversation today is gonna inspire you with some of the best advice that I've heard in the last 12 months and that you've heard too. Let's do this. (upbeat music) Hey, it's Mel, and I am so happy that you decided to listen to this particular episode today. You're going to love it because today I'm sharing five pieces of science-supported, research-backed advice from some of the most popular experts that have appeared on the Mel Robbins Podcast in the last 12 months. Now, this is advice that has changed my life, and it's also changed the lives of listeners around the world, listeners who are just like you. And if you take a chance and you give the advice a try, I guarantee you, you are gonna feel the impact and it's gonna help you create a better life. First up, we're gonna cover a 10-day health reset that will change your life from the inside out. Dr. Mark Hyman is a renowned functional medical doctor, and he said this sentence on the podcast. Holy cow, when he said this, it made you and me both lean in. He said, "You are only days away from optimal health." I'm gonna say that again, "You are only days away from optimal health." And in the clip that you're about to hear, Dr. Mark Hyman will explain the research that supports this fact, that you're only days away from optimal health. I mean, how cool is that? Then he's gonna walk you through his 10-day health reset. Now, this is the protocol that he has researched over the years and that he uses with his patients in his private practice. Let me tell you a little bit about Dr. Hyman before we jump into the advice that he shared. He is a medical doctor who is the head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. He is the founder and medical director of the UltraWellness Center, and he has written 14 New York Times bestselling books. And his 10-day health reset is one of the most viewed clips on my YouTube channel. It's also one of the most popular pieces of advice that anyone has ever shared on the Mel Robbins Podcast. So let me set up what you're about to hear. Dr. Hyman has just shared this medical fact that your body is designed to heal itself, and you're gonna hear me reacting to that and then asking him to explain what that means. And this is important because when you realize that your body is designed to heal itself, you'll understand exactly how his 10-day health reset that he's gonna explain to you activates your body's natural healing capabilities so that you can tap into optimal health. So let's go to that clip where you're gonna hear me asking Dr. Hyman to tell you about our body's intelligent design and the ability it has to heal itself.
- 3:26 – 6:54
You’re only days away from optimal health
- MRMel Robbins
Dr. Hyman, you just said something that really struck me-
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
(clears throat)
- MRMel Robbins
... which is that every single one of us, our bodies has an intelligent healing system-
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... built into it. And I immediately thought about the fact that, you know, we all know instinctively that if you cut your hand, your body knows how to heal itself.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Exactly.
- MRMel Robbins
And so it-
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
You don't have to go to the doctor to get a prescription to heal your hand. It just does... knows what to do. Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. And so can you just expand upon that? For somebody who has never considered that concept-
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... that your body is designed, when you know how to take care of it, to heal itself, what the hell does that even mean?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
It's, it's really incredible. I mean, I, I literally get to be the witness to miracles every day. And people who are either wanting to just optimize their health and live a long, healthy life, or people who have end stage diseases like type two diabetes, heart disease, autoimmune disease, dementia, whatever it is, ADD, depression, when you know how the body works, you can learn how to optimize its function, which is why we call it functional medicine. And then you get rid of the stuff that's impairing our ability to function properly, and you put in the stuff that, that the body needs to thrive. So you take out the impediments to health, you put in the ingredients to health, the body knows what to do. And most people don't connect the dots between what they're doing in their life, whether it's what they're eating or the toxins they're exposed to, or the stress they're under, the lack of sleep they're getting, or the lack... the fact that they, you know, may not move their bodies or learn how to-
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
... all these things. They don't know how that's impacting them. They don't know how close they are to feeling good. We're literally only a few days, not weeks or months from feeling better.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, hold on. (laughs) We're only a few days-
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... away from feeling better.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Yes. It's really remarkable. (laughs) I take people all over the world and I put 'em in, in these groups. We do these programs around the world and, uh, you know, longevity programs, detox programs, and we change their diet. We, we, you know, move them a little bit, a little bit of yoga, not like running a marathon, but just general exercise, some simple body practices. And within six days, the average person reduces their symptoms from all diseases by 70%.
- MRMel Robbins
Wait, what?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Yeah. Your, your life is not predetermined by some genetic destiny. It's the life...... and the exposome, which is all the sum total of all the experiences you've had, all the toxins, all the thoughts, all the relationships, all the food you eat-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
... everything, washing over your biology, creating the expression of who you are in this moment. And so that's a very empowering idea-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
... 'cause this is just, something just didn't happen to you. You can actually be empowered to understand what those things are and change them and radically reverse your, your biological age, your, your health problems, your mental health, 'cause the body has this incredible healing system, as we said.
- MRMel Robbins
Wow.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
I think if people understand how powerful food is, they don't, they don't really have to listen to me. A-a-and I mean, you can listen to this podcast, you can listen to a million other podcasts. Just, for 10 days, change your diet and see what happens. Not for a year or 10 years, but 10 days. Anybody can do anything for 10 days. And when you do that, you literally take away all the potential inflammatory foods, all the foods that are causing you to have issues, which is typically gluten, dairy, sugar, processed foods-
- MRMel Robbins
So what is the 10-day... Like, we'll get-
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
It's-
- MRMel Robbins
Just give us simple rules that you
- 6:54 – 11:30
The 10 day health reset that will change your life from the inside out
- MRMel Robbins
want everybody listening to try. This is a dare.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Let's just, let's go through a sample menu for a day.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
But it's basically protein and vegetables, nuts and seeds and berries. And so you ba-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, hold on. You said that very fast.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Protein.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Vegetables.
- MRMel Robbins
Vegetables.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Nuts and seeds and berries.
- MRMel Robbins
Nuts and seeds and berries.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
And lots of good fats. Olive oil, avocados.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
So it's basically breakfast could be, for example, uh, couple of eggs with sliced tomatoes, an avocado with olive oil on top. Lunch could be a big salad with lots of different veggies, tomatoes. I could throw a can of wild salmon on there.
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Put in n- some pumpkin seeds, you know, just lots of good plant foods.
- MRMel Robbins
Very colorful.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Very colorful. And dinner might be, you know, some, uh, a big piece of fish or chicken or, or some, a nice small piece of meat with- Three quarters of your plate should be vegetables, so-
- MRMel Robbins
Three quarters of your plate every day?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Yeah. So like I'll have, like the other night I had like a, a purple sweet potato, I had some roasted mushrooms, I had, um, you know, uh, I can totally have like a roasted eggplant. Whatever, whatever you kind of get excited about. Broccolini, I make cruciferous vegetables every day. These are the broccoli family.
- MRMel Robbins
What did you say?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Cruciferous vegetables.
- MRMel Robbins
What the hell were cruciferous?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
It's broc- broccoli. Broccoli, basically. The broccoli family.
- MRMel Robbins
What, what does cruciferous mean?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
It means broccoli, basic broccoli, collard-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
... collards, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, you know, all those, uh, cauliflower-
- MRMel Robbins
The fibry crap your grandmother served. Is that what you're saying?
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
Well, it's, it's this family of vegetables. It's a super family 'cause-
- 11:30 – 16:24
You are the expert of your own health
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
dialogue right now, I guarantee you, you have biological addiction to sugar because you're trying to find a way out. You know?
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
"I'm gonna stop smoking, but I'm gonna vape or I'm gonna chew Nicorette gum." Well, that's not getting rid of your addiction. Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
And I think i- it's not your fault. And this is probably, uh, one of the biggest problems I have with the narrative in America, that we are blaming the person who's overweight-... for their problem. It's your fault that you're eating too much and not exercising enough, 'cause that's the solution to weight loss. It's all about calories in, calories out. It's all about moderation, and if you can't do it, there's something wrong with you.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
That's just a big fat lie, and that keeps people feeling ashamed about themselves.
- MRMel Robbins
Yup.
- MHDr. Mark Hyman
It keeps them from being empowered to know what to do. (upbeat music) It keeps the food industry free of responsibility, and it's, uh, one of the most unfortunate narratives that we have.
- MRMel Robbins
I love that he said it's not your fault. And you know what else I loved? Was this moment when he, one of the most respected functional medical doctors on the entire planet, made you the expert of your own health. And I hope you will take him at his word, that you take this experiment on, because Dr. Hyman just demystified how you can tap into the intelligent design and your body's natural healing process to tap into optimal health. And here's what else I loved. This costs you $0. I love the fact that the cells of your body do not grow out of thin air, but they grow from the raw materials that you feed it. I mean, it blew my mind. You're gonna have to eat. Would you rather have your cells that are made from a bag of Doritos or a salad and really good protein? I hope that information sticks with you forever, the way that it has for me. And if you want to learn more about how to reset your health in 10 days, I really want you to take the time to listen to that entire episode with Dr. Mark Hyman. Now, that episode is linked in the description along with all of the episodes that I'm going to share with you today. And as always, if you look at the description on whatever platform you're watching this episode on or listening to the podcast, you're going to see a link that takes you to the resources page that has links to all the experts, the studies. All of that is on our website for you. But the episode itself, it's just linked below in the description. I wanted to make it easier for you. All right, now that you know where you can find the episodes and you also know about your body's ability to heal itself and you also know how to do a 10-day health reset, that's just expert number one. We still got four more to go, and next up, you're going to learn the trick that a Harvard psychologist uses to stop anxiety. And I want to take a quick break right now and give our fantastic sponsors the time they deserve, because their support allows me to bring you all of this at zero cost. And when we come back, you and me, we're going to be diving into anxiety, and a little later, we're getting into money, confidence and longevity secrets, and more. So don't you dare go anywhere. I'll be waiting for you after a short break. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins, and today, you are hearing five of the most popular pieces of advice on the Mel Robbins Podcast from the last 12 months. Now, Dr. Mark Hyman just showed you how to activate your body's natural intelligence by doing a 10-day health reset, and now we're going to activate your ability to stop anxiety with expert advice from Harvard's Dr. Luana Marques. Now, Dr. Luana appeared on two incredible episodes of the Mel Robbins Podcast, and you absolutely loved her. So do I. And I love everything that she shares with you and with me. Dr. Luana has this remarkable and inspiring story of how she went from being poverty-stricken in Brazil to becoming a professor of psychiatry at Harvard. Now, she has a clinical practice and is also on the staff at Mass General Brigham, which is the number one ranked research hospital in the world, for over a decade. And what you and I both loved about Dr. Luana is that while, yeah, she's the world leading Harvard-trained expert, no big deal, her advice is also simple, which means it can be applied easily into your own life, even when you or a loved one is spiraling. So let me set up what you're about to hear, because when she came to the studio to have this conversation, I was so excited to talk to her about how to stop an anxiety spiral. And what you're about to hear is a clip where Dr. Luana is not only going to give you the trick to stop anxiety, but she's going to use herself as an example, because here's what happened. You're going to hear the story of her telling you that right before she walked into the studio and did the taping with me, she had an anxiety attack, and so she's going to tell you all about that and how she handled it. So
- 16:24 – 23:57
Creating a pause to stop anxiety
- MRMel Robbins
let's jump into one of your favorite clips from that episode, where I've just asked Dr. Luana, "So how do you stop a panic attack?"
- GUGuest
Such a great question, Mel, because the first thing, if we're gonna apply any skills, we need to create a pause. And in that pause, we need to do a couple of things. First, we need to understand what was the situation that triggered any kind of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors? I actually call this the thoughts, emotions, and behavior cycle. Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. Thoughts, emotion, behavior cycle.
- GUGuest
Cycle.
- MRMel Robbins
Can we take the example of you waking up and not wanting to get out of bed?
- GUGuest
Yes, absolutely. So any kind of situation. I woke up, my brain starts to spin and basically said, "What if Mel Robbins doesn't like me?" It was the first thought I had this morning. (laughs) I have to just be honest with everybody, Leslie.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, sorry. (laughs)
- GUGuest
No. I mean, the anxious brain never quiets down, right? And so that thought, "What if she doesn't like me?" led to an emotion, which for me was a little anxiety and heart pounding. My heart pounds pretty f- pretty strongly. And then my behavior was the third component, was wanting to just stay in bed.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
I was like, "Maybe I just want to stay in bed." And you asked, what is the sequence? Well, it depends the entryway. For me, was a thought, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yup.
- GUGuest
"She's not gonna like me-"
- MRMel Robbins
Yup.
- GUGuest
"... made me anxious," and then I wanted to behave a certain way. But they ping pong like... Right? If I laid in bed a little longer, I bet it would have gone this way-... yeah, maybe I didn't bring the right outfit. The outfit makes a difference. She's so powerful. She's really not going to like me. What if I say the wrong thing? And those thoughts would go really fast, the anxiety would shoot up, and then the covers would (laughs) come over.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) .
- GUGuest
And then by the time I got out of bed, my baseline anxiety would be so high that I'd be having trouble thinking. That trouble thinking would be interpreted as, "Oh, see, you do have a problem with anxiety," and now the avalanche. And so it's a ping pong, and it's so fast, and that's why that pause is so important. Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Wow, okay.
- GUGuest
We, we need... Whenever the anxiety happens, this is a trick that I can share with everybody that you can use and you can do it right now. How do you pause, is the question, right? Take a piece of paper and literally write down your thoughts, linking them to your emotions, link them to specific behavior. What do you want to do? And this is why. What we know scientifically is that writing activate the prefrontal cortex.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- GUGuest
The prefrontal cortex, the part that helps us organize, execute, right? It's the center of the brain that's the critical part of the brain. It is always competing for energy with our amygdala, the fight, flight, or freeze part of the brain. So, one wa- when one is on, the other one tends to quiet down. So if you're in your anxious brain, get out of there by writing your thoughts, emotions, and behavior cycle. Just that little trick alone, I've seen hundreds of patients stop their anxiety cycle and that avalanche by creating that pause. 'Cause it's so liberating to overcome a fear.
- MRMel Robbins
It's true.
- GUGuest
Then all of a sudden, like, your whole system quiets down and you're like, "Oh my God, I'm living my best life." And that's what I wish for everyone, that they find their little corners of avoidance, overcome it so they can show up. Like, are you being your best self? And if you're not, it's because you're avoiding.
- MRMel Robbins
I love what she said about you and me and how we have these little corners, right, where we hide. It's so true, isn't it, how anxiety, or nervousness, or fear, or panic, or imposter syndrome can keep you in that little corner, how often you can find yourself avoiding not only experiences in life, but avoiding your potential, and the potential of your life. I know exactly what she's talking about, and I know you do too, because that was one of the most popular things that she said. Because anxiety is something that I've struggled with for a very long time, and it does make you shrink, so don't forget the trick. Create the pause, write it down, get it out of your head, because when it's on paper, you're not going to spiral. When you create the pause, you step out of your little corner, and when you stop avoiding the things that scare you, you unleash that potential. And with the rise in anxiety that is so well-documented today, especially in teenagers and young adults, this is an episode and the resources that Dr. Luana shares, this is something I hope you share with people in your life, because they work. And Dr. Luana's two episodes on the podcast are wonderful resources for you. So if you go into the description, you're going to find links to those two episodes featuring Dr. Luana. Please, please, please take the time to listen to them, and more importantly, share them with somebody who needs this information. Share them with somebody who needs this support, okay? Because we're talking world-class, Harvard, Dr. Luana, private-session-level support with those episodes. All righty. Let's move on to a topic that gives you anxiety, which is money. And I got to be honest, I had been avoiding talking about money on the podcast for a long time, and let me tell you why. I thought it'd be a total snooze fest. I mean, come on, financial planning? (snores) Boring. And I personally, I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel this way, there's a lot of financial experts out there that are so fricking condescending and they speak in jargon and it's sort of like, "You should know this." So I'm like, "We don't need to talk about money." Well, then, I found Tiffany Aliche. Cha-ching, baby. Holy smokes. She not only brought the money, she brought the energy and the fun. She is so fantastic. Oh, we could not stop talking about her, and she got you and me excited about making a budget. Who gets excited about making a budget? You and I did after hearing from Tiffany Aliche. Tiffany Aliche is the money expert. You loved her. She is also known as The Budgetnista. She's a New York Times bestselling author. She has helped more than two million people, just like you, save, manage, and pay off massive debt. If there's anybody in your life who you think needs to get better with money, you better stop talking about them and share this episode with them. Let Tiffany set the record straight, because this is not your usual, "Make a budget and stick to it," advice. Tiffany's take on money will help you see your money in a completely different way so that you understand how to make more of it and save it with ease. Now, she's also been there. She's been there in terms of being underwater with loads of bills to pay and no job. She was the victim of a scam. Like, uh, unbelievable story. And that's also why she comes to the table with so much compassion for you, because she knows just how overwhelming finances can be, and she also has this knack... Ooh, I love people like this... This knack for explaining boring things like budgets, (snores) snooze fest, and bills, I don't want to talk about that. But she has a way of talking about it that makes you just want to hear her keep talking, and she makes you feel like you're an expert too. And so when she came on the Mel Robbins podcast, one of the very first questions I asked her was about budgeting, because I hate budgeting, and I fricking love the analogy she gave.And by the way, this was one of your all-time favorite clips too. You just kept coming back to this over and over and over again, especially on YouTube.
- 23:57 – 27:45
How to create your money list
- MRMel Robbins
So, listen to what Tiffany Aliche has to say about the topic of budgeting.
- GUGuest
I want you to think about a budget the way, what I say is, like, how you think about, like, your mom, right? So you've got three kids, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
And so if like, say your son's like, "Oh," when he's little, you know, "Mom, can I have dessert?" You'd say, "Yes, after you have dinner."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- GUGuest
Or if your daughter says, "Mom, can I go outside to play?" "Yes, when you do your homework." You know? Or, you know, "Mom, can we go on vacation?" "Yes, if we lower this, this, you know, the light bill." So your budget is like your mom.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- GUGuest
She's there to say yes, when, if, after. So it's really a say yes plan, but one that's safely implemented so you can maintain the thing that you want, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
So you could call it a money list, that's what I usually start with 'cause people hate that name.
- MRMel Robbins
I like the name money list.
- GUGuest
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
What does a money list mean?
- GUGuest
A budget.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. I love this reframe-
- GUGuest
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... because I hear the word budget and I hear no and restriction.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And you're saying no, that the budget-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... is how you say yes to what's important to you.
- GUGuest
Yes. It's not there actually to tell me no, it's there to find the yes in the safest way possible.
- MRMel Robbins
So for somebody hearing you say that-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and they're like, "But I've never made a budget." Or, "I've never stuck to one."
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
"I don't know what my budget should be." Like, where do you begin?
- GUGuest
Step one is to write everything down, just the words of what do I spend money on? Don't think about the month, just in general. So it's like, oh, the kids, oh credit card, oh grooming, going out. Like, just, I want you to just write the words. Don't think about the money, just words.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
So that's first part.
- 27:45 – 36:33
Categorizing your expenses use the ABC method
- GUGuest
is I want you to categorize your expenses before you get to slashing and dashing, you know? 'Cause that's what people wanna do. "I won't eat out. I won't..." (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. I'm never gonna eat again.
- GUGuest
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Never gonna turn the lights on in this house.
- GUGuest
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Get the candles.
- GUGuest
(laughs) So I'm like, "Categorize your expenses into three categories." One, I want you to write a B next to all the bills on your list. So bills are, if you don't pay it, someone's gonna come knocking on your door and say-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
... "Where's my money?" Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- GUGuest
So put a B next to all those things.
- MRMel Robbins
And give me an example. I know that sounds like a, a basic question, but is your mortgage a bill?
- GUGuest
Yes, mortgage is a bill. Rent, um, car note, um-
- MRMel Robbins
Student loans.
- GUGuest
... your credit card, student loans. So if you don't pay, you're likely to be sued. Think about that.
- MRMel Robbins
Gotcha.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Like when you were like, uh, standing at Walmart or Sephora-
- GUGuest
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... and you're like, "Yeah, I'd like 10% off this." And then you're like, "Oh wait, that's a credit card."
- GUGuest
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
That's a bill.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Got it.
- GUGuest
So-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
... a B next to all your bills.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
And then, um, and those are really like fixed expenses so that way you understand, right? And then I want you to put a U in front of any B that fluctuates based upon your usage.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, I love that.
- 36:33 – 39:56
A hack to make you look more confident
- MRMel Robbins
I wanna highlight one specific tip first that she told you, which is a hack to make you look more confident. Here's Janine Driver explaining this body language trick that I want you to steal.
- GUGuest
There are body language moves you can do to be, uh, seen as confident and powerful. One is, I'm doing it now if you're seeing me, it's called steepling, and you would see Mr. Burns do this. It's fingertips to fingertips, making like a church steeple. When we steeple people, we intimidate people. The higher the steeple, the more intimidation, so it's a sign of confidence. So, a nice low steeple, especially if you're a woman in a meeting and men are, like, over-talking you, instead of saying, "Let me finish," with the palm down gesture like you're the police on a raid and telling people to get on the ground, if you just lean back and steeple, uh, someone else at the table will quiet down the people who are interrupting you. So, that, when we steeple people, we intimidate people. It's a sign of confidence.
- MRMel Robbins
When we steeple people, we intimidate people. Janine, I love that tip and I wanna go even deeper into it. If you're listening to me right now and you're not watching on YouTube, let me just explain this 'cause I wanna be sure that you got this. Janine is placing the fingertips of both hands together. So, you can do this by, just put your palms together, almost like you're praying, and now keep your fingertips together and spread the actual hands and your palms apart, right? So, you're arching your hands so that the tips of the fingers look like a church steeple. Got it? Good. And now, the next time you're with your boss or your professor, or someone is talking over you, or a jerk who isn't giving you the respect that you need, or you're on your first date with that person you met on Hinge, just lean back and do the steeple. Now, I love the steeple, but Janine was just getting warmed up. Here's another fantastic tip that she shared with you for displaying confidence. You're gonna use this one when you walk into a room or when you're sitting at a table or a desk. Janine wants you to think of one of the Avengers. So, let's jump back into the episode for this next tip on how to look and display more confidence.
- GUGuest
If you pull your shoulders back, it's actually uncomfortable and you're not gon- you look weird. Instead, I want you to think like, um, like, um, Tony Stark, right? So, Tony Stark has a- a- an- and he has this circle thing on his ch-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, yeah, for Iron Man.
- GUGuest
Iron Man. He's got this circle orb that keeps him alive on his chest.
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- GUGuest
I want you to imagine you have that in the, in the center of your chest-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
... and a laser beam shoots out of it. If that laser beam, based on your posture, is gonna hit the ground, then you're being Clark Kent. If you wanna be Superman, where the wall meets the ceiling is a confident feeling. So, you just wanna take that laser beam and lift your chest to where the wall meets the ceiling.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
Relax your shoulders. Relax those, those... Yeah, much better. And as you're walking, you change how you are perceived.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh my gosh, I love this stuff. Where the wall meets the ceiling is a confident feeling. I don't know about you, but I got my chest up. That orb, that Iron Man thing, I am pointing it up where the wall meets the ceiling. It feels great. You gotta try this. And guess what? Janine's not done (laughs) because while she's busy teaching you and I how to steeple and how to put the orb up toward the ceiling,
- 39:56 – 44:14
How to recognize when someone is lying to you
- MRMel Robbins
she is now gonna move right into lying and how you can tell if people are lying to you. Don't you wanna know that? I sure do. She said people are lying to you when they use a technique called eye blocking, and I want you to hear about what eye blocking is from Janine Driver. And in order to set up this clip, especially if you're listening to this, I just wanna tell you that in the clip, she's gonna be using the example of a cellphone, and so if you're listening, just picture her using a cellphone and when she makes this reference about a cellphone that she has in her hand, she's gonna mention a screensaver. You know that thing that happens where all of a sudden the lock screen comes on your phone and then you gotta put your password in to unlock it? That's what she's referring to, okay? So, let's hear Janine describe what eye blocking is and how you know if someone's lying.
- GUGuest
Here's eye blocking. Eye blocking, I have an iPhone right here, right? So-
- MRMel Robbins
Yup.
- GUGuest
Right now, um, you can see there's a code that's popping up, right? So, I have numbers one to, one to nine and then zero at the bottom. I have to enter my code to get access to my cellphone.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- GUGuest
Eye blocking is you are putting up the code to inside your brain, that you don't want people to have access to information that's inside your brain. So, eye blocking can be I put my hand over my eyes. I could be adjusting my hat. I could be breaking the eye contact. I'm, I'm looking away. So, eye blocking is there's something I don't want you to see right now and I'm putting up my screensaver. And unless you have the code, which I'm gonna give to you again, the MIW formula, maybe I'm wrong here, MIW, it seems to me there's something you're thinking about or something you're concerned about. And so eye blocking happens under high stress and high anxiety. People will block. When they talk, they break eye contact a lot.
- MRMel Robbins
Thank you, Janine. Now we know what to look for. And I'll tell you one of the big things that this has had on my life in terms of the impact.I make sure I don't do it. You know, I think oftentimes you hear these tips and you constantly are scanning everybody else, you wanna make sure that you're also not breaking eye contact, that you're not eye-blocking so that you convey trust and authority. Now, if you love these tips, you can listen to all of the interview with Janeen after you finish listening to this episode, which again, linked in the description, with all the episodes that we've mentioned so far. And because she has so many tips, I really, really encourage you to check that out when you have some time, because you're gonna learn, for example, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting. You'll learn the million-dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview, and why you should never sit directly across from someone on a first date. Ooh, that's kinda interesting. I wonder why not? You're gonna find out. Okay, the final and fifth piece of advice that you loved from the experts on the Mel Robbins podcast. This last one was delivered by one of my favorite guests, and she also happens to be my mother-in-law. Judy Robbins is an 86-year-old powerhouse, and I guarantee you what she does in a day runs circles around what you or I do in a week. She has more energy than a 16-year-old and she's smart as a whip, and the woman still wears a bikini. She is so physically fit that I embarrass myself when I stand next to her in a bar class, because she always has heavier weights than I do and I sweat more than she does. You absolutely loved Judy. You loved this episode. You wanted more and more and more from her and her secrets to living a long, happy, healthy, fulfilling, purposeful, and fun life. You just watch them over and over on YouTube. And one of the things that she talked about that really struck a chord was specific things that she's done to avoid loneliness, even though she's been a widower for more than 20 years. Now, you wanted to know all about her daily routines. In particular, you kept playing this clip about her morning routine over and over and over again.
- 44:14 – 49:32
An 86-year-old powerhouse’s morning routine that will help you live longer
- MRMel Robbins
So here is my 86-year-old mother-in-law, Judy Robbins, telling you what she does in the morning. And I have no doubt you will live longer and be happier if you do this too. What's a day in the life of Judy Robbins look like?
- GUGuest
You wanna know specifically?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, what time do you wake up? (laughs)
- GUGuest
I wake up very early because I'm old.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- GUGuest
And you do when you're, when you're, when you get old you wake up too early. Um, I have a sauna in my house.
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- GUGuest
So I go downstairs, I turn my sauna on.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
Then I make myself water, and it's, it's the, uh, orange, you know, 1000, you know those packets?
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, you have an Emergen-C?
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
I have an Emergen-C in water.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. Vitamin C.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Blast.
- GUGuest
Then I make myself a c- nice latte.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
I get back in bed.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- GUGuest
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
God, okay.
- GUGuest
I have, I can do that now, you know?
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- GUGuest
I don't have kids running around. And, uh, and then I go through my mail.
- MRMel Robbins
In bed?
- GUGuest
Yeah, on my phone.
- MRMel Robbins
You go through your mail on your phone?
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- 49:32 – 52:02
What to do when you’re at a point in your life where you’re really lonely
- MRMel Robbins
clip, you're gonna hear me ask her, "What do you do when you're at a point in your life where you feel really lonely?" And I thought her answer was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard. Take a listen. We have a lot of people that write into this show who say they have no one. And if you were to talk directly to somebody who feels like they don't have anyone who loves them in their life, because I'm always surprised by the number of people who write in about this, what w- would your advice be about how to get started?
- GUGuest
I could... Without a skipping a beat, I would start by taking the hospice training-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- GUGuest
... and go and take care of somebody. Because who you take care of is gonna give you love-
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.
- GUGuest
... and is gonna make you feel so good about yourself. Even if you don't have your neighbor or your friend, if they don't love you, the person that you are taking care of will love you. Makes a very big difference. I've been doing hospice for over 40 years, and, you know, people say, "I don't know how you do that. You know, these people are dying." It is the most rewarding thing that you can do. And you know, your husband does it now.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. What do you get out of it?
- GUGuest
A tremendous feeling of satisfaction that I've contributed to somebody's life, you know, like Judy. Like, I went and saw her t- this morning, and even if I only spend an hour, this is a very good friend, as you know, of mine, who has Parkinson's. You know, if I only came in for 15 minutes, she's grateful.
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.
- GUGuest
You know? You just have to make the time. Can't say that you're too busy. And so, for the people that feel very lonely that don't have anybody that love them, they can create love by taking care of somebody else.
- MRMel Robbins
That is such beautiful advice, because we do start to look outside ourselves and look for other people to fill a need, and what you're saying is the truth. Fill it for yourself first, and the way to bring more love into your life is to give it to a perfect stranger and being part of the hospice community. That's an incredible piece of advice. So
- 52:02 – 56:39
How do you stay young at heart
- MRMel Robbins
how do you stay young at heart? What do you think that's about?
- GUGuest
(clears throat) Well, I go back again about living in the moment.
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.
- GUGuest
And I- I don't take any day for granted that I have. I mean, I'm really grateful for every day I have.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
And that's the only thing I can say. I mean, I think most people live their lives like, "Well, of course there'll be tomorrow."
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.
- GUGuest
"There was yesterday, there'll be tomorrow, there'll be next week, I can do this, I can do that." Well, who's to say? We have a friend who just w- was on his motorcycle, bingo.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
Um, so that keeps me, um, positive because I'm grateful. I am, I am so grateful. First of all, I have a fabulous life, I have incredible family, all these grandchildren. I'm not sick. You know, I'm healthy. I have all my knees and all my hips, so I'm very grateful. You have what you have right now, at the moment, and don't expect anything more. And I think people live in a lot of disappointment because they think about what they'd like to have or what their neighbor has or something other than what they have this moment.
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.
- GUGuest
And that creates the stress. Because if there's something out there that you want and you don't have it, that's stress in itself.
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- GUGuest
Be thankful what you do have. Don't think about what you wish you had. I'll always remember... And I think this is true of every little, every child. I used to say... My mother used to say, "You know, you're gonna wish your life away."
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.
- GUGuest
'Cause we'd say, "Oh, I wish I could have. I wish I could do. I wish I could go." You know, as a child, we're always wishing. She'd say, "You're gonna wish your life away. Well, what are you wishing for? Just be grateful for what you have right this minute."
- MRMel Robbins
Mmm.Don't wish your life away. Stop wishing for everything that you don't have and focus on what you do have, whether it's your health, or family, or a good friend, or a roof over your head, or the ability to listen to this podcast, the time to be here with me right now. That's something to be grateful for. I know I'm so grateful that you're spending time with me right now. And you know what else I'd be really grateful for? I'd love to know how you're going to incorporate what you learned today into your life. If you're listening on Spotify or YouTube, just drop a note in the comments below and tell me. If you're listening on Apple or another platform, you can tell me how you're gonna use what you learned today in the review that you leave. Tell us what you learned and please tell me what you loved. And if you've got someone in your life that came to mind while you were listening to one of the five experts today, please share this episode with them. I don't know about you, but my family and my friends, they don't listen to me, so I often find that I'm sharing these episodes with my family and my friends, because I figure they're gonna listen to the experts. Let this show and all the episodes that you love be that resource for you. And in case no one else tells you today, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And now you got five amazing pieces of advice to help you do it. So go do it, and I'll talk to you in a few days. And to you, thank you, thank you, thank you for being here with me on YouTube. And in case no one else tells you today, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And now that you have these amazing five pieces of expert advice, you got the roadmap to go do it. So please, take a moment, subscribe to this channel. It really supports me in being able to bring you amazing expert advice at zero cost. Share this episode with people who you know it could make a difference with. You can find the links to the full episodes that I was referring to just right there in the description, so that you can watch, you can listen. And I know you're thinking, "Well, what should I listen to next? What should I listen to next?" Well, how about we start with the most popular one of the five that were right here on YouTube? Janine Driver, How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want. Check it out.
Episode duration: 56:39
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