Focus on Yourself: Do THIS Before 2026 Ends to Get Back on Track with Eric Thomas

1. 0:00 – 2:15

   Welcome

   1. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:00

      In 52 days, everything could change.

   2. MRMel Robbins0:04

      Today, on The Mel Robbins Podcast, the one, the only, Dr. Eric Thomas.

   3. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:11

      You have more control than you think you have.

   4. MRMel Robbins0:15

      For somebody who's feeling exhausted, discouraged, they just want the year to be over, what do you want to say to that person?

   5. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:22

      You are the greatest common denominator. Life is not about proving they're wrong, life is about making things right for you. I'm daring somebody today to let the best version of you take over. 52 days. Isn't that exciting? Let's go. [laughs]

   6. MRMel Robbins0:48

      Dr. Eric Thomas, welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.

   7. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:51

      Thank you for having me, Mel.

   8. MRMel Robbins0:53

      I-

   9. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:53

      Now how you feeling?

   10. MRMel Robbins0:53

       I feel fantastic 'cause you're here.

   11. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:55

       Thank you. And I feel the same way because you're over there and I'm here.

   12. MRMel Robbins0:59

       [laughs]

   13. ETDr. Eric Thomas0:59

       So thank you. Something magical is gonna happen.

   14. MRMel Robbins1:01

       Magical. Um, you know, you say that you can change your life in 52 days.

   15. ETDr. Eric Thomas1:07

       52 days.

   16. MRMel Robbins1:07

       When this conversation airs, there will be 52 days left this year. I would love to have you explain to the person who is listening right now how much could change about their life in 52 days.

   17. ETDr. Eric Thomas1:20

       Everything-

   18. MRMel Robbins1:20

       52 days

   19. ETDr. Eric Thomas1:20

       ... everything could change. In 52 days, everything could change. And more importantly, everything you want to change can change in 52 days. You can end this year better than you've ever ended a year, and you could start the new year better than you started any year. It's up to you. You have the power. You literally have control. I'm telling you, everything you want, everything you wanna be, everything you wanna do can happen in 52 days. So do me a huge favor, you gotta finish strong. All right? So we got 52 days to make the rest of our lives the best of our lives. 52 days. [laughs] Isn't that exciting? Let's go.

   20. MRMel Robbins2:09

       I think it's really exciting because even if you're listening to this, you know, in the future, you

2. 2:15 – 11:52

   How to Get Unstuck and Find Your Motivation Again

   1. MRMel Robbins2:15

      can take on, you're gonna teach us how to do this, a 52-day challenge. Now tell me the origin of 52 days for you.

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas2:22

      This was a tough year for a lot of people.

   3. MRMel Robbins2:24

      Yeah.

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas2:25

      This was a tough year. You know? This wasn't one of those years where, you know, people just felt that they were their best self, they didn't feel... You know, their community, the gas prices, the groceries. Like, this was just a tough y- And you gotta understand, I'm in Michigan, so Michigan is, like, blue collar. You know? It, this is blue collar. It's like people rely on, um, the industry. I- it just was a tough year. People weren't where they were used to being.

   5. MRMel Robbins2:50

      Hmm.

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas2:50

      I said to myself, "Okay, you, you gotta help 'em. You know? You gotta, you, you gotta give 'em hope." Right? Because when people start to lose hope and people start to lose faith, they become an uglier version of themselves, and they start behaving in a way that's just not healthy, and they can't get to their expected outcomes. And so I was just sitting there and I was just praying. I was like, "Okay, okay, what story can I tell?" And I remember my boy Linton, he ran a prayer group, and in the prayer group he talked about Nehemiah and how in that particular time or that region, their, the wall was torn down for like 100 and something years, 140 years, and they rebuilt it in 52 days. And I was like, "Yo, I need that story right now," because people have been going through it 365 days or however many days they've been going through it. And I was like, "Yo, what can I say?" And you know what was so crazy? This is the first time. And people said to me, "Eric, you have never done anything before where you made it easy for us."

   7. MRMel Robbins3:44

      [laughs]

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas3:45

      Like, "You've never done that." They, they was like, "This isn't you. Like, you're the grind, you're the get up, don't sleep guy. This is the very first time you ever told us, 'We're... I'm not asking you to get to a place you've never been, I'm just asking you to get back to your best self.'"

   9. MRMel Robbins3:59

      Hmm.

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas4:00

       "With like, whatever that was, in 1990, 2001, 2015. Like, I just want you to get back to the time where you woke up and you were excited about life, that you were excited about your family, you were excited about your, your opportunity." And so I was like, "Let's just get back to that and, and let's, let's do it in 52 days. Let's not try to do it in seven days. Let's not try to do it in 14 day- Let's do it, let's do it in 52 days. Take our time. Whatever you can do, just do that." And when I started telling people to do it and I started to see people light up and I started a hope coming back and a joy coming back, I was like, "That's it. Don't focus on the 140 years where the wall's been down. Let's focus one day at a time, that by the end of these 52 days, less than two months, we can feel good again. And then once we feel good, then we can go after it." W- w- once there's hope, then we go... But let's not try to tackle everything one time. Let's just get our hope back. Let's get our dream back. Let's get clarity back. Let's get a sense of direction back.

   11. MRMel Robbins4:54

       Well, you know, I'm so excited to talk to you because you are one of the most inspiring and empowering... You are like human rocket fuel.

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:05

       Mm. [laughs]

   13. MRMel Robbins5:06

       And it's infectious.

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:07

       Mm.

   15. MRMel Robbins5:08

       And when I thought about when this episode was going to release, I looked at the calendar and I was like, "Wow, when we're dropping this episode, there's 52 days left-

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:18

       Wow

   17. MRMel Robbins5:18

       ... in the year."

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:19

       Wow.

   19. MRMel Robbins5:19

       And so our amazing producer, Amy, who is working on this episode-

   20. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:24

       Amazing.

   21. MRMel Robbins5:24

       Yeah, amazing Amy.

   22. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:25

       [laughs]

   23. MRMel Robbins5:25

       Called you and said, "Okay, I wanna get you in the mindset, Dr. Thomas, that there's gonna be 52 days left in the year when this episode goes live." And you're like, "Wait a minute, 52?"

   24. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:35

       Yeah, 52.

   25. MRMel Robbins5:35

       "Are you kidding me with the 52?"

   26. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:36

       52.

   27. MRMel Robbins5:36

       But 52 has a personal-

   28. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:39

       Absolutely

   29. MRMel Robbins5:39

       ... meaning for you. So explain why 52 matters.

   30. ETDr. Eric Thomas5:42

       Well, first of all, 52 matters because I just did it.
3. 11:52 – 21:31

   How to Choose and Build Habits That Stick

   1. MRMel Robbins11:52

      But where I really wanna hover for just a minute with you, because you said something that struck me. So for the person that's feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, because how could you not with the state of the world? How could you not with the what's going on in your neighborhood? How could you not, given that you probably have a family member that's struggling-

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas12:10

      Yes

   3. MRMel Robbins12:10

      ... you might be struggling financially.

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas12:12

      Yeah.

   5. MRMel Robbins12:12

      Or maybe you're just worried about things. There's so much out of people's control. For somebody who's feeling exhausted, discouraged, they just want the year to be over- What do you wanna say to that person about how they're gonna feel by the time we end this conversation?

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas12:26

      You know, I w- I wanna say to them, you have more control than you think you have. And here, here's... Okay, so Mel, here's the crazy part about the 52. The crazy pa- part about the 52 is, for the first time in my life I saw while you've lost control in this area-

   7. MRMel Robbins12:45

      Okay

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas12:46

      ... there are other areas you have control in. Borrow from the areas that you are in control. There were areas in my life that I had not lost control, and I needed to borrow-

   9. MRMel Robbins12:57

      Mm

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas12:58

       ... from the strategies and the techniques and the skills I was using in areas that was working and bring it over. I'm gonna tell you one thing, Mel, that, that changed everything for me in terms of, like you said, it wasn't about health. It was, how did I lose control? When I was in my 20s, I, I wasn't going to the doctor and they were saying that. In my 30s, this is new to me. I've never been to the doctor before, and the doctor told me that, you know, I, I had b- high blood pressure and that I could stroke out. Like, I'd never heard, I'd never heard that language before. And so at first, it was overwhelming until I said to myself, "From a speaking standpoint, Eric, you have control. You're traveling the world. You..." I was outside the hotel and people was driving around, stopping. "ET, what are you doing on the streets?" I said, "I'm here to see Mel." [laughs]

   11. MRMel Robbins13:42

       [laughs]

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas13:42

       "I'm on my... I got a podcast." And so, but what I realized was in my health, I was not intentional and deliberate.

   13. MRMel Robbins13:50

       Mm.

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas13:50

       I did not have... DeeDee's on my schedule. I know exactly what time DeeDee and I are gonna meet every day. I know for how long we're gonna meet. I know how to get an A from DeeDee. I know what a B is. I know what failing is like. Like, I, I, I know. But in my health, I never had working out on the schedule. I never had, "What are you eating?" I never measured what I would eat when I would... I... It d- it didn't mat- I... So, so, so for me, it was, no, this is gonna be easy. Borrow from an area where you're already great, where you're already conquering, and just bring those same skillsets into a place where you've lost control. And when I start scheduling, when I stop compromising, when I stop negotiating, I said, "Look, you're gonna work out every single day. It's not a, it's not, it's not optional. Like, you're going to get up, and you're gonna get up at 3:00, 4:00 in the morning, and you're gonna go get on the treadmill, and you're gonna do resistance."

   15. MRMel Robbins14:37

       That sounds terrible.

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas14:38

       [laughs] And, and you're gonna sit in the sauna. Like, you're gonna do that, and it's not, it's non-negotiable. The same way you watch football every Sunday, the same way you sit down and watch Monday Night Football, you're gonna take your health and you're gonna put it in a category, and, and you're gonna watch it, and you're gonna measure it. And then you're gonna call your best friends, and you're gonna tell them, "Hey, I'm working out today at this time. Call me to see if I really worked out. I'm gonna send you pictures." And once I, once I started doing it, I got control back. And no, it wasn't visible until maybe the 48th day, but I got control back, Mel, as soon as I said, "This is what I'm going to do. I'm not taking no for an answer, and I'm gonna conquer in this way." And I'm so excited because I used the same skills that I was using to win over here, I put them where I was losing, and guess what? 52 days later, I started winning again.

   17. MRMel Robbins15:27

       Well, and you can use the skills of getting your kids to daycare on time-

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas15:31

       Absolutely. Yes

   19. MRMel Robbins15:32

       ... in order to be on time for yourself.

   20. ETDr. Eric Thomas15:34

       Yes, yes.

   21. MRMel Robbins15:34

       You can, you know, use the skills of taking care of everybody else to start learning how to take care of yourself. And we're gonna get to that, but, uh, because the person who's listening may not know the gift-

   22. ETDr. Eric Thomas15:46

       Yes

   23. MRMel Robbins15:46

       ... that is Dr. Eric Thomas-

   24. ETDr. Eric Thomas15:48

       Yes

   25. MRMel Robbins15:49

       ... when you talk about the fact that you can change your life with a decision, that you can change who you are, you really mean it.

   26. ETDr. Eric Thomas15:59

       Yeah.

   27. MRMel Robbins15:59

       And one of the reasons why you mean it is because you yourself have been homeless.

   28. ETDr. Eric Thomas16:05

       Yes.

   29. MRMel Robbins16:05

       You yourself have been discouraged. You yourself have been in a place in life where there's every reason in the world to either quit-

   30. ETDr. Eric Thomas16:14

       Yeah
4. 21:31 – 29:27

   Take Back Control of Your Life

   1. MRMel Robbins21:31

      So let's unpack the blaming thing.

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:33

      Yeah, yeah.

   3. MRMel Robbins21:33

      So where your focus goes-

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:35

      Oh, see, energy flows. Yeah

   5. MRMel Robbins21:35

      ... your energy flows, and a lot of people are spending a lot of time blaming.

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:41

      Yeah.

   7. MRMel Robbins21:41

      Blaming the government, blaming the, their past, blaming this, blaming that. And look, there's lots of-

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:47

      Ah

   9. MRMel Robbins21:47

      ... moments in life where someone else-

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:49

       Ah

   11. MRMel Robbins21:49

       ... or something else is to blame-

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:50

       Yes, yes

   13. MRMel Robbins21:50

       ... and it's not fair. And your point when you say you owe you-

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:55

       Yeah

   15. MRMel Robbins21:56

       ... is what?

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas21:57

       So, so... And I, and I'm just saying this 'cause I know somebody's listening and you're like, "Eric, you don't know." And I don't. You're like, "You don't know what they did to me." And I don't. I know what they did to me. But here's the deal. If they were intentionally and deliberately trying to destroy me, I'm not going to give them fuel. [laughs] So, like, if that was their whole point, like, "We're gonna destroy you. Like, we're gonna make sure you're not happy. We're gonna make sure you're not successful," if that's what they were attempting to do, I'm not going to aid you in that. So you're absolutely right. There are certain things that happened to me that should not have happened to me. But at the end of the day, I've got to do what I need to do to make sure the story doesn't end with me going to jail, the story doesn't end with me being a high school dropout. Yes, you're right. They were wrong. But life is not about proving they're wrong. Life is about making things right for you. And so I could go on and on about who's wrong and how I got in the predicament again and whose fault it was, but at the end of the day, I want to hold the power. I want to control my own life. And by making better decisions, I went from GED to PhD, from homeless to, to owning real estate. And so I'm saying to everybody that's out there, you're right. Which side do you wanna look at? Do you wanna look at the side that they were wrong? And guess what? You would be totally right to say they were wrong. You have every right to say what they did to you. You're right. I'm just saying you're giving them the control when you do that. And I want the power. I want the control. I made up in my mind, that is not gonna be my reality. So do me a favor. You're right. You could talk about everything they did wrong, or you could look at your strengths, and you could look at your opportunities, and you could put all your energy in that, and you can sit somewhere different 52 days from now, [laughs] uh, 52 weeks from now, 52 years from now. You could be in a better state. So for me, absolutely. They're wrong, but I'm not gonna focus on their wrong. I'm gonna focus on my right.

   17. MRMel Robbins23:56

       Well, you said something I wanna make sure we take a giant highlighter.

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas23:59

       Yeah, yeah.

   19. MRMel Robbins24:00

       Because you said, even if somebody is treating you wrong-

   20. ETDr. Eric Thomas24:04

       Yeah

   21. MRMel Robbins24:05

       ... I am not going to aid you in that.

   22. ETDr. Eric Thomas24:08

       I'm not gonna aid you.

   23. MRMel Robbins24:09

       And it sent just a chill down my spine, because I think about how much time I wasted being all upset and spending lots of time, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, talking about how they wronged me and this, that, and the other. And when you do that, you are aiding them. ... in the power that they have over you. And when you instead just start where you are and you say, "You owe you. From this point forward, I can take responsibility and make a decision that where I'm at right now does not define where I'm going." When, when you're in a moment in your life where there's so much out of your control, what can you actually control and where do you want the person who feels out of control right now to focus?

   24. ETDr. Eric Thomas24:59

       Yeah, I say perspective and decisions. I feel like those two. So, so I'm gonna be honest, before I made the change, Mel, to be, to be totally transparent, I didn't want to do the work.

   25. MRMel Robbins25:13

       [laughs]

   26. ETDr. Eric Thomas25:14

       I'm... You... Guys, I, I, I owe my mother such an apology, and you know, we talk. My mom said to me, um, this, this was probably last year, which, you know, you know how it is, Mel. You, you open up and you start, you know, you do this therapy and just stuff comes out. My mom was like, "Yo, I was so hurt how, how you frame me."

   27. MRMel Robbins25:32

       Hmm.

   28. ETDr. Eric Thomas25:32

       "Like the picture that you painted of me with everybody." And you know what? I did not want opportunities. I wanted attention.

   29. MRMel Robbins25:41

       Hold on.

   30. ETDr. Eric Thomas25:41

       I wanted an audience.
5. 29:27 – 32:43

   Small Decisions That Lead to Big Life Changes

   1. MRMel Robbins29:27

      focused on all the reasons, if you're focused on all the hurt in the past, if you're focused on the people that did you wrong-

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas29:32

      Which is real. Yeah

   3. MRMel Robbins29:33

      ... you literally attract more of that.

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas29:35

      Absolutely.

   5. MRMel Robbins29:36

      When you focus on making a decision to change yourself, because that's the only thing you can control, now your energy is moving in a forward, positive direction, and it starts to build. Was there a moment when you remember making a decision, like this is the turning point. This is, I am changing.

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas29:59

      Yeah. I, I, I remember, it has nothing to do with church, but it has everything to do with an individual at church or individuals. And I was fortunate enough to, at that time, um, be in the proximity of Dee Dee, who's now, was my girlfriend, became my wife, and there were others there who were going to college, and Dee Dee pulled me to the side. This is why proximity is so important.

   7. MRMel Robbins30:26

      Hmm.

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas30:26

      And I remember Dee Dee saying, "Hey, I'm going to college. I would love to have you go with me, but if you don't I'm leaving, and I'm never coming back. And so it was the one positive place or thing in my life, and I said, "Eric, you've messed everything up. You can't mess this up. Like, you have one good thing going for you." And so for me, it was just a moment of, Eric, this is the defining moment. You can keep going down the path you're going, or you can take the help. And oftentimes, Mel, the first greatest decision we can make is to say, "Help." It's not us doing anything, and that's why people get overwhelmed, because they feel like the change that needs to be made, I have to make it. Mel, I didn't get here because I made all the right decisions and made... I was with people who made good decisions. I was with people who had hope, who had clarity, who said, "Let us help you." And that was the first decision I made. I said, "Pastor, you know what? You've been talking about GED. You've been talking about night school. How do I sign up? DeeDee, you've been talking about me going to college and following you. I'm about to go to night school. Uh, Bob, you've been talking about getting in this youth program and coming here regularly. You know what? I'm gonna take advantage of these three great opportunities," and those three turned into six, and those six turned into 12, and those 12 turned into 24, and then one day I woke up, I was on the Mel Robbins Podcast. [laughs]

   9. MRMel Robbins31:48

      [laughs] You... You-

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas31:49

       Come on, y'all. Come on.

   11. MRMel Robbins31:51

       Well, well, you know what I love about you is, first of all, you're very lovable. Second-

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas31:55

       Thank you

   13. MRMel Robbins31:55

       ... you're extremely smart. Third, you have just a gift with words, and because you've lived it-

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:03

       Yes

   15. MRMel Robbins32:04

       ... this is not something you've read in a book, and you're just, like, spitting it back.

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:09

       Yeah.

   17. MRMel Robbins32:09

       This is the lessons and the truths that you have learned the hard way, and what's interesting is that you know how much work it takes-

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:20

       Yes

   19. MRMel Robbins32:20

       ... to resist the positive. You know how much work it takes to make excuses and to blame everybody else, and it's kind of surprising when you make a decision that you want your life to feel better, how when you're finally ready for that to happen, y- i- i- it happens pretty

6. 32:43 – 36:08

   The Hidden Cost of Making Excuses

   1. MRMel Robbins32:43

      quickly.

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:43

      [laughs]

   3. MRMel Robbins32:44

      You know, you say excuses soften the pain.

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:46

      Yeah. Yeah.

   5. MRMel Robbins32:47

      What does that mean?

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:48

      Excuses just make you feel so good, but here's the challenge. You still gotta get up the next day with the consequences.

   7. MRMel Robbins32:55

      Hmm.

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas32:55

      You still gotta get up the next day knowing that you blew it. You know, you still gotta get up the next day knowing that nothing changes for you. And so that's when I started realizing, while excuses may feel good, they don't help. And, and Mel, I want people to hear me. You gotta hear this. The greatest error I've ever made in my life is me deciding to take the hand that was dealt to me and come up with all the negativity in the hand.

   9. MRMel Robbins33:25

      Hmm.

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas33:25

       I never saw the big joker that was there. I have a gift. I've be- God gave me a gift. Like, I've been speaking. Before I even knew what I had, I had it. I've, I've always been a people person. I've always loved on people and took care of people. I've always been that person. I'm the oldest in my family. I've always took, taken care of my sister. I've always taken care of everybody on the block, but I always looked at what I didn't have. And the day I started looking at that same hand, but seeing what I had and started playing what I had, [laughs] my whole life changed. Oh, I'm sorry, Mel. M- I s- had the same mother, the same father. I, I didn't grow any taller, as you can see. [laughs] Uh, that, uh, uh, there was a lo- like, nothing, like, happened, but I changed what I was looking at and where my focus went. My energy started to go in there. Next thing I know, I'm with DeeDee, I got my GED. I'm with DeeDee in college. I marry her after our freshman year. We have a beautiful family. I start speaking. I become known in the city. I leave, go back to Michigan, get a master's, a Ph.D. I, [laughs] I become ET The Hip Hop Preacher. I j- everything changed when one thing changed. I looked at my hand different than I looked at it before.

   11. MRMel Robbins34:35

       Oh, so insanely powerful and true. 'Cause if all you do is complain about the hand you've been dealt-

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:43

       Yeah

   13. MRMel Robbins34:43

       ... you will lose.

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:45

       You will lose, Mel.

   15. MRMel Robbins34:45

       You will lose. But you can win with any hand.

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:48

       Hmm.

   17. MRMel Robbins34:49

       It's all how you play it.

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:50

       It's how you play it, Mel. [laughs]

   19. MRMel Robbins34:51

       It's how you play it.

   20. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:51

       Yeah. If you ever played cards, you know what she's saying.

   21. MRMel Robbins34:53

       Oh, uh, you are. If you're from Michigan, you play a lot of cards.

   22. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:56

       Yes, yes, yes. [laughs]

   23. MRMel Robbins34:56

       Yes.

   24. ETDr. Eric Thomas34:57

       Yes.

   25. MRMel Robbins34:57

       And so that is a huge takeaway. I want you to grab that and stick that-

   26. ETDr. Eric Thomas35:03

       Mm-hmm

   27. MRMel Robbins35:03

       ... in your pocket-

   28. ETDr. Eric Thomas35:03

       Mm-hmm

   29. MRMel Robbins35:04

       ... and start doing that today.

   30. ETDr. Eric Thomas35:05

       Mm-hmm.
7. 36:08 – 44:21

   The 52-Day Challenge: A Simple Plan to Change Your Life

   1. MRMel Robbins36:08

      You know, y- I knew you would convince us-

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas36:11

      [laughs]

   3. MRMel Robbins36:11

      ... that you can change.

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas36:12

      [laughs]

   5. MRMel Robbins36:13

      And I want you to coach me and the person who is listening, who is saying to themselves, "All right, Dr. Thomas, you convince me. I do not wanna stay where I am. I do not want to be this version of myself. There are things about my life I've been making excuses around," whether it's the job or the weight or the relationship or whatever it may be. What do we, how do we apply this 52-day thing? Like, how do you, how do you, like, pick something that you're gonna shift for the positive and actually stick to it?

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas36:48

      So I, I would say this first. I would just say whatever you pick, we're gonna walk through it.

   7. MRMel Robbins36:52

      Okay. Walk me through it, yes.

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas36:53

      Yeah. But, but I, I do want you to pick something that you're gonna get the greatest return on your investment. So I don't want you to pick something that, you know, it's gonna change, but it's not gonna do a lot for you.

   9. MRMel Robbins37:03

      Mm.

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas37:04

       So, so me changing high blood pressure, that's, that's a great return on investment. Me losing 25 pounds, great return on investment. Um, not snoring, and so DeeDee can get some sleep at night.

   11. MRMel Robbins37:18

       [laughs]

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas37:19

       Right? Um, not eating after 6:00 anymore. I was doing some intermittent fasting, and that was helping the body, right? So blood pressure down, di- everything's gonna be down. So I want you to pick something that you can get a return on your investment. But here's the first step I want you to take. And, and nobody... This... Listen to me. Don't ask anybody, because when you start getting people's opinions, it- Don't do that. Don't ask anybody for permission. You don't need permission. But let me tell you what the first thing I did. I took a picture of where I wanted to be, and I put it up. It's the first thing I want you to do. And do me a huge favor. I did not pick, you know, that picture, the Michael B. Jordan in Creed III. [laughs]

   13. MRMel Robbins37:59

       [laughs]

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas38:00

       Shout out to my boy Michael B. Jordan. I did not pick that picture and put that picture on the wall. I- that's not... I, I just wanted a better, uh, dad bod. I literally picked the picture that I felt when I spoke in that season was the best version of Eric Thomas at that time.

   15. MRMel Robbins38:17

       Hmm.

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas38:17

       I didn't pick anything that would be overwhelming, that's out of reach. I didn't wanna start in the deficit. Don't do that. Don't put $6 million. Don't, don't do that. Put, "I don't wanna be in debt. 52 days later I want my credit score to go from 559 to 600," whatever. First thing I want you to do, where your focus goes, your energy flows. Most of you need a North Star. You just need some clarity in your life. You just need something to go to bed to and wake up to. And so for me it was like, Eric, this is actually embarrassing. To be 242 is actually embarrassing. Like, come on, Eric. T- to, to be the number one motivational speaker in the world [laughs] you know what I'm saying? To write a New York Times bestseller, to be in a blissful marriage, to do... Eric, this does not even reflect you. This is embarrassing. Like, the, the one area in your life. So I would just say to you, pick that area where it's like you know better than this. It's not bringing you a return. It's, it doesn't make you look good. It's not attractive on you. It doesn't feel good. And I'm telling you, putting the shirt on and s- there would be times I would do a video, and I was like, "Do me a favor. Don't..." I wouldn't tell them, but-

   17. MRMel Robbins39:23

       [laughs]

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas39:23

       ... I wanted to tell them, "Don't get a side angle. Like, the gut," you know what I'm saying? "Don't... Just keep straight in front." Like, we just wanna say, I'm only wearing black, all black shirts, right? [laughs] And I got to a point where it's like, Eric, it's embarrassing at this point. So I'm saying to you, yes, you know, but I just want you to turn that camera. Just do me a favor. Take the camera, flip it, turn it on you, look at you in the mirror and say, "This is embarrassing. I, I should be be- doing better. I know better." This has nothing to do with the, the reward on the other side. Let's just start with this is not even me. This is not who... Like, I don't even know how I got... I don't know how I got... Well, I do know how I got to [laughs] 242.

   19. MRMel Robbins39:58

       [laughs]

   20. ETDr. Eric Thomas39:58

       But you know what I mean. Like, I don't know how I got to 242. Like, I don't even feel comf- Like, I don't like wearing double X. I'm, I'm not 6'6". I shouldn't be wearing a double X shirt, right? And so that's what I would say to you. Look at an area in your life where you're like, "I know this is not reflective of me."

   21. MRMel Robbins40:14

       Mm.

   22. ETDr. Eric Thomas40:14

       "I know this is not who I am. I know this is not the best of me." Turn that camera on that person and look at that person and say, "I'm firing you. You're no longer needed. You're no longer healthy. You're no longer productive. You're no longer needed in my life. You are a menace to where I'm trying to go. H- h- no more pink slips. You're out of here." So that's what I would say. And then do me a favor. Let's just take... Don't even do 24 hours at a time. Don't do that. That's overwhelming. I don't work out 24 hours. I say, "Eric, do me a favor." When I first started I said, "Bro, give me 30 minutes. If you can give me 30 minutes on the treadmill at two speed, two incline, [laughs] three incline. Just give me 15 minutes." Just do enough where your body's like, "Okay, I like this." And put your body in a situation where it's muscle memory, that the first week you do it every day. You do something light, that the second week the body is like, "Are we doing that again?" So just do me a favor. Put the picture up. I want the picture in your bathroom. I want the picture in your living room. I want the picture on your car. If you, uh, if you have a ceiling that you can get to, put the picture on your ceiling so when you go to sleep at night and wake up, you see it. Like, I want a picture of what you want to be everywhere. I want you to see it everywhere you go. And then do me a favor. Every day we're just gonna do a little bit. Not too much. And then we're gonna keep adding to that till 52 days later you're gonna look up and go, "Did I do that? [laughs] Did I become that?"

   23. MRMel Robbins41:44

       You really believe you can change in 52 days?

   24. ETDr. Eric Thomas41:46

       I really do believe. You can change your mindset, and once you change your mindset, the results may not all come in 52 days, but the mindset will come in 52 days, and the results always follow the mindset.

   25. MRMel Robbins41:58

       Here's one other thing that struck me as you were talking. When you have the courage to admit that you're embarrassed, you're embarrassed by how you're showing up at work, you're embarrassed by how you're eating, you're embarrassed by how you've let your health go. You're embarrassed. I'll, I'll give you the one that I have. I have been so overwhelmed that I feel at times like my stress and feeling frustrated, it feels very similar right now to how I used to feel when I was a young mom. And it is embarrassing to me that my work stress has gotten to me the way that it has. And I can say that because I don't like that. And when you can admit to yourself that there are parts of you, whether it's your jealousy, or maybe your spending is embarrassing. Maybe it's embarrassing that you work really hard and you spend all your money buying stuff or leasing a car 'cause you want people to think a certain thing about you, but you're embarrassed that you don't have any savings 'cause you're so busy spending it all to prove something to people you don't even care about. When you can admit that, I want you to understand something powerful. The new version of you, the true version of you, actually showed up. Th- that version of you is already in there. That's why you're embarrassed. And now it's about taking on this 52-day challenge of acting like the new version of you, even if it's just for 30 minutes a day.

   26. ETDr. Eric Thomas43:32

       Yeah. Y- y- I think-

   27. MRMel Robbins43:33

       Yeah, I started a transcendental meditation practice-

   28. ETDr. Eric Thomas43:35

       Mm-hmm

   29. MRMel Robbins43:35

       ... because I had to look into-

   30. ETDr. Eric Thomas43:37

       Yeah
8. 44:21 – 56:06

   Become the Best Version of Yourself: Start Today

   1. MRMel Robbins44:21

      simple. Can you give another simple example of a 52-day get it done plan? Like, what are some of the daily non-negotiables for you?

   2. ETDr. Eric Thomas44:31

      Yeah.

   3. MRMel Robbins44:31

      Like, how you're coaching people through this.

   4. ETDr. Eric Thomas44:32

      Yeah. So number one, schedule it.

   5. MRMel Robbins44:34

      Okay.

   6. ETDr. Eric Thomas44:34

      Like, it- for real. If it's not, if you don't write it down and you don't give it a time, it's just not gonna happen. So that, that's number one. Like, actually schedule it. And, and okay, now Dee Dee's gonna kill me for this one.

   7. MRMel Robbins44:46

      [laughs]

   8. ETDr. Eric Thomas44:46

      Dee Dee's gonna kill me for this one, y'all.

   9. MRMel Robbins44:47

      I don't wanna get in trouble with Dee Dee.

   10. ETDr. Eric Thomas44:48

       Yeah, yeah. Dee Dee's gonna kill me for this one. Not only do you need to schedule it, you need to make you a priority. So here's Dee Dee's thing, right? And I don't know where Dee Dee got it from, but, uh, she watched too much TV. So, so when we would go on a trip and we would be in the hotel, I wouldn't exercise, Mel, until she got up because Dee Dee felt like, "I don't wanna be in the room."

   11. MRMel Robbins45:11

       Mm.

   12. ETDr. Eric Thomas45:12

       Like, you're working out, you know, it- there's people here with keys. Anybody could come into the room. And so for a long time, Mel, I wasn't working out, and Dee Dee would get up. But by the time she got up, let's, let's like, we're retired, so we're doing worship together. We're going out to eat. We g- she's going shopping. I never got to. It's like, "Eric, your non-negotiables are not Dee Dee's non-negotiables." For years, I would not get up and go work out because of her fears. They weren't even my fears, and it wasn't even true. So number one, schedule it. Number two, non-negotiable. Once you make up in your mind you're gonna work out or do whatever you're gonna do, your wife, your husband, your kids, you can't let somebody else's fear or somebody else's reality consume you to the point that you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Number three, take it light. Don't do anything that's gonna overwhelm you and make you stop and make you quit. Number four, tell somebody else you're doing it. Be held accountable. I don't know what it is, Mel. It might just be me, and I feel s- uh, silly saying it, but sometimes I would rather work out because I told you than work out because I s- because I said I was gonna work out.

   13. MRMel Robbins46:21

       There's nothing silly about that at all. I will meet you at 5:30 in the morning because I promised you I would be at that class, and I will not meet myself.

   14. ETDr. Eric Thomas46:32

       I, [laughs] I'm just... I, I don't know what it is, Mel, but there are times where I just won't meet myself. But if I tell you I'm gonna do it and you say, "Hey, E, where's the..." And somet- oh, Mel, it feels so good when I do the hour, you know, uh, treadmill, and I do the 30-minute weight, and I do the sauna, and I send the whole thing. And my boy CJ go, "Go, E. Let's go." [laughs] I'm like, "Was it the workout?" [laughs] Or was it him saying go?

   15. MRMel Robbins46:57

       Go.

   16. ETDr. Eric Thomas46:57

       That was... Y- you know, and so I think that's important too because you can let yourself down sometimes quicker than you can somebody else.

   17. MRMel Robbins47:06

       You know what I think you should do is you should take this episode and copy the link and text it to your best friend-

   18. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:12

       Mm-hmm

   19. MRMel Robbins47:12

       ... or to your sister-

   20. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:13

       Mm

   21. MRMel Robbins47:13

       ... or to your brother-

   22. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:14

       Yeah, that's good

   23. MRMel Robbins47:14

       ... or someone.

   24. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:15

       Yeah.

   25. MRMel Robbins47:15

       And say, "I am so inspired to take on a 52-day challenge. Let's do it together."

   26. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:19

       Yeah.

   27. MRMel Robbins47:19

       "Let's each pick something." And I wanna share with you, Dr. Thomas, and with you as you're listening, that the team that's producing this episode is listening to our conversation, and they're feeling so inspired. And here are things that they're gonna be taking on for the next 52 days.

   28. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:34

       Wow.

   29. MRMel Robbins47:35

       State of my home embarrasses me.

   30. ETDr. Eric Thomas47:37

       [laughs]

Episode duration: 56:06