The Mel Robbins PodcastHow to Make Next Year the Best Year: Ask Yourself These 7 Questions
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 5:02
Yearly audit overview: why looking back creates the best year ahead
Mel introduces her 20-year “yearly audit” ritual: seven questions that surface the personal data you need to make next year better. She explains the common planning mistake—jumping straight to goals without understanding where you are now—and frames the audit as creating accurate “directions.”
- •The yearly audit is a repeatable process built around seven questions
- •Most people skip reflection and miss the wisdom of the past 12 months
- •You can’t plan well without knowing your current location (directions metaphor)
- •Focusing on what you can control reduces overwhelm and builds momentum
- 5:02 – 6:33
How to do the audit (even while driving): paper, calendar, and camera roll
She outlines how to use the episode: listen first, then return with paper/notes and your phone. Your calendar and photo roll act as memory triggers because you’ve likely forgotten most of the year.
- •First pass: listen and think; second pass: write answers down
- •Write it down to make insights “real,” not trapped in your head
- •Use your phone’s camera roll and calendar to jog memory
- •The process can be done solo or with a spouse/family/group
- 6:33 – 9:04
Question 1—Highlights: mining joy and meaning from your photos
Mel walks through her own camera roll to demonstrate how quickly forgotten moments return. She emphasizes that highlights include small joys and warm moments—not just achievements—and that they reveal what you should do more of.
- •Scroll photos month-by-month to uncover forgotten bright spots
- •Notice emotional signals: what makes you smile, feel warm, or energized
- •Highlights can be tiny experiences (novelty, nature, connection)
- •A lack of highlights is also valuable data about feeling stuck or absent
- 9:04 – 15:05
Using highlights as data: presence, variety, and what your life is missing
She expands on what patterns in your photos can reveal: too much sameness, not enough presence, or too much work. The audit becomes a way to “take your life in” and identify what needs to change.
- •Photo patterns expose isolation, monotony, or imbalance
- •Few photos can indicate low presence or disengagement
- •Reflection can prompt big pivots (e.g., shifting from isolation to learning/connection)
- •Joy clues become inputs for next year’s plan
- 15:05 – 18:06
Question 2—Hardest parts: naming lows and extracting lessons
Mel models how to list the year’s hardest moments, including health, family stress, and emotionally difficult seasons. She normalizes mixed experiences—something can be a major win and still be deeply hard.
- •Hard parts may include health changes, grief, transitions, or overwork
- •Let yourself feel sadness—lows are part of the data
- •Accomplishments can belong on both ‘high’ and ‘hard’ lists
- •Watching loved ones struggle teaches boundaries and resilience
- 18:06 – 20:37
From hardship to wisdom: ‘Let them’ and the limits of rescuing others
She shares a key takeaway from family challenges: you can support people without saving them. Letting others face consequences and emotions creates space for their growth—and reduces your own burnout.
- •You can’t fix grief, heartbreak, or rejection for someone else
- •Rescuing can prevent growth and keep people stuck
- •Support looks like believing in others’ capability, not controlling outcomes
- •Hard seasons can generate core principles (e.g., the ‘Let Them’ theory)
- 20:37 – 29:41
Question 3—What you learned about yourself: friction is a signal you’re in the wrong role
Mel prompts deep self-reflection across highs and lows to identify personal truths. She introduces a practical diagnostic: recurring friction and frustration often mean you’re in the wrong ‘seat’—at work or in relationships—and need to adjust roles, boundaries, or support.
- •Every major experience teaches you something about yourself
- •Accept limitations without self-attack; honesty enables better decisions
- •Friction/frustration can indicate a role mismatch (work, marriage, parenting)
- •Protecting peace requires simplifying and focusing on strengths
- 29:41 – 30:41
Question 4—Stop: applying ‘Stop/Start/Continue’ to real life
She introduces the business-planning tool Stop/Start/Continue and explains why it works for personal change too. Then she begins with the ‘Stop’ list, using her own prior-year goals to show how the audit tracks progress.
- •Stop/Start/Continue is a simple, proven planning framework
- •‘Stop’ clarifies what’s draining, misaligned, or no longer worth it
- •The audit is iterative: answers evolve as you review the year
- •Progress becomes visible when you compare to last year’s intentions
- 30:41 – 35:13
Stop list in practice: reduce friction, protect peace, and stop over-adding
Mel gets specific about what she wants to stop: tolerating friction, escalating intensity, and automatically advising or fixing others’ problems. A major insight emerges live—she needs to stop making work the top priority and stop adding projects, focusing instead on subtraction.
- •Stop tolerating dynamics and processes that create constant tension
- •De-escalate tone and intensity; choose ease without being steamrolled
- •Stop solving others’ problems; practice listening
- •Stop overcommitting—subtraction can be the strategy
- 35:13 – 38:46
Question 5—Start: compassionate review of what didn’t happen and why
She moves to ‘Start’ and revisits last year’s goals, highlighting a key mindset shift: don’t shame yourself—get curious about why plans failed. Her pattern: routines work when life is stable; chaos and overcommitment sabotage essentials, signaling the need to slow down and focus.
- •‘Start’ means one new behavior or system that supports your priorities
- •Replace self-criticism with curiosity: what conditions make success possible?
- •Overambition and too many yeses crowd out what matters
- •A radical goal can be ‘do less’ and be disciplined about essentials
- 38:46 – 41:48
Question 6—Continue: keeping what works (and noticing stress triggers)
Mel explains that ‘Continue’ prevents you from abandoning helpful habits. She discusses limiting alcohol as a stress barometer and ties it back to root causes: when she overextends, she seeks escape; when she’s aligned with priorities, stress drops. She also recommits to “Let them / Let me.”
- •Continue the habits and mindsets that already improve your life
- •Alcohol (or other coping) often shows up as a response to stress overload
- •Stress is reduced by narrowing focus and protecting time/energy
- •‘Let them’ creates space; ‘let me’ redirects attention to self-care
- 41:48 – 48:39
Question 7—One step today: turning your audit into immediate action + doing it together
She closes by asking for one small action you can take today—schedule the friend date, plan the garden, make the call—so the audit becomes movement. Mel reinforces that the best year comes from small, consistent shifts and encourages sharing the exercise with loved ones to build mutual support.
- •Identify one action you can do today to start following your new directions
- •The best year is built from small changes: stop, start, continue
- •Share the audit with family/partners/roommates to deepen understanding and support
- •Recap of all seven questions and invitation to revisit and write it all down
