The Mel Robbins PodcastIf This Episode Doesn’t Motivate You, Nothing Will | Mel Robbins and Wallo
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,004 words- 0:00 – 1:23
Meet the Guest
- WAWallo
(instrumental music plays) In 1998, me and my step-pop were cellmates. And in 2005, me and my brother were cellmates in the same prison. Generational incarceration. So now, I'm like, "Hold up. Don't nobody got no independent thought no more." So I'm like, "Oh, there's more people out there in prison. I'ma... Oh, it's easy. It's gonna be easy out there." There's more people incarcerated than there is incarcerated, 'cause everybody out there walking around with a, they walking around with a cell around their brain.
- MRMel Robbins
And how would you describe that to somebody who doesn't realize that they're in a cell in their brain?
- WAWallo
They afraid. The reason I say they in a cell, because they afraid to go out there and do what they wanna do. I wasn't in rage. (instrumental music plays) I was hurt. And the reason that I was hurt, because the truth hurt. I just looked in the mirror, and I said, "Damn. You in here doing all this time for being somebody you not. I'ma get out one day, and tomorrow's gonna be better than yesterday. I'ma make the best of this."
- MRMel Robbins
Talk to me about forgiveness. How did you forgive the person who killed your brother?
- WAWallo
For me, personally, forgiveness helped me breathe.
- MRMel Robbins
Did you ever tell the person that killed your brother that you forgive him?
- WAWallo
No, he, it, he out there. He know.
- MRMel Robbins
Do you want to tell him?
- WAWallo
Look, uh... (exhales) I forgive you, man.
- 1:23 – 2:06
Disclaimer
- MRMel Robbins
I gotta tell you something, when Wallo starts going, you better keep your hand on the recording dial, because holy cow. It's like part sermon, part halftime coach. Your team is down. The coach is mad. He's yelling at you, and he's telling you the truth. And this is the truth you need to hear, because the fact is, you're the one in your own way. And so I don't wanna be hearing from... (imitates child) Because this is a conversation for adults. And sometimes adults need to hear words that are a little harsh, because that's what it's gonna take for you to wake up. All right? I've warned you. And here's another warning. Don't even bother listening to this if you don't wanna hear the truth. Don't listen to this if you're not interested in motivation. You still here? Good. So am I. Let's
- 2:06 – 7:36
How to Put Your Focus Where it Matters
- MRMel Robbins
go. So without further ado, please help me welcome the remarkable Wallo to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
- WAWallo
Thank you for having me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm happy to be here.
- MRMel Robbins
Thank you for jumping on a plane. I have been a huge fan of yours for a long time. I am so excited to be in the room with you. I'm excited for the person who has made the time to be here with us, to be able to be inspired by and learn from you. And I can't wait to dig into your story. But I wanted to start by asking you this.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
If you think about everything that you're about to share, from your life story, from your experience, from the impact that you're making with millions of people, what do you think is gonna change about my life if I take everything to heart, and I apply it to the way that I live my life moving forward? What's gonna change?
- WAWallo
You gonna stop caring about things that don't matter, and you gonna stop making problems for yourself. Um, that's the most, most important thing. Stop making problems for yourself. Nobody make problems for us. We make problems for ourself. If you don't like me, all right? Or if I'm talking to the viewer, if somebody don't like you, that's none of your business, number one. Number two, what they say about you, that's none of your business. That's their business. They own them thoughts. They own everything that they say. That's their... They got ownership of that. But what we do is we make problems when we get into their business. You minding their business now. "Oh, I don't like Mel. Mel is not this. Mel fake. She don't really help nobody." Mel, why you worrying about their business, Mel? Mind your business. That's not yours. That belong to them. Them thoughts belong to them. Stop giving power to other people, words, ideas, thoughts, feelings. Why do they like... A lot of times, Mel, a lot of people don't dislike you. They don't even hate you. Some people just wanna hug you, and they don't know how to get your attention. So that's what it really be about. And some people just like, "Mel got it going on. How can I get close to Mel? I DM Meld a thousand times." Mel don't even answer her DM. She ain't got time for that. She, she running them.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
I'm just... But that's the reality of it.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, yeah.
- WAWallo
Uh, but, but I think if you, uh, if, you gotta really be able to cut on that fuck it button.
- MRMel Robbins
The fuck it bucket.
- WAWallo
The fuck it buck, button. The fuck it button. We, "Fuck it." Like, "Fuck what they think." Like, as long as you living in that world of every... You're not gonna live. Listen. I look at this like this. You, guess what? If nobody told you, you're gonna die. But guess what? Caskets don't have no bunk beds. It's gonna be you by yourself. Why you worrying about everybody else?
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) Wait, did you just say, "Caskets don't have bunk beds"?
- WAWallo
Yeah, they ain't got no bunk beds. Ain't no bunk beds in caskets.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
It, it, like, like, what you worrying... You gotta go by yourself. When it's time to leave this place, you gonna be... When the music is playing, it's there, it's just gonna be you. It's not about nobody else. Like, we gotta get outta here. Uh, Mel, do you know one day, do you know one day, they're gonna be reading your book, they're gonna be reading my book? And they gonna be like, "Yo." They gonna be looking at old videos of us. We gonna be well off and gone. That's why, while you here... And I tell people, "The moves I make will secure the future, the futures of the family members I won't be living to meet. The moves I make will secure the futures of the family members I won't be living to meet." That's all I'm here for. I'm just here to work for some people that I'm never gonna meet. You too. You too. You just here to strengthen your last name up. So it's like, "Listen, we gotta go, Mel. We going..." Listen, listen.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
"We going to the party, Mel. You see that party that be going in the graveyard? We gonna be there."
- MRMel Robbins
Well, let me ask you a question. Why are you motivated by making a better future for the relatives you haven't even met yet?
- WAWallo
Because that's our job. That's our-
- MRMel Robbins
Why is it your job?
- WAWallo
Because everybody... Listen, the reality is, everybody's just not gonna be Mel and Wallo. They not... Everybody in our bloodline is not gonna be like us. Every... Some people just gonna wanna just get up every day and just get a regular job. It's not everybody job to push, encourage, want more for other people. That's just not it. So why... If we here, why not take on the responsibility to say, "You know what? There's gonna be some people that I'm not gonna meet that, that's gonna have my bloodline that I wanna look out for."
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.A- are you motivated by that because your family didn't look out for you?
- WAWallo
No, it wasn't about that. My family always looked out for me when they couldn't look out for me. See, back in the day, we didn't have nothing but we had everything 'cause we had each other.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- WAWallo
That was the community that I come from.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
My thing is like this, Mel. You gotta understand this.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
You got money, Mel.
- 7:36 – 16:06
The Cost of Being With the Wrong Crowd
- MRMel Robbins
You're 46?
- WAWallo
Yeah, I'm 46.
- MRMel Robbins
So, I read that you spent more than half of those 46 years either in juvie or in prison.
- WAWallo
Yeah. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
Tell me a little bit about that. What happened?
- WAWallo
So, so what happened is, grew up, great family. Uh, rest in peace to my brother, Steve. My mom, Jackie, extraordinary woman. You know, you know, that's where I got a lot of my crazy stuff from. My grandmom Loving, strong woman, the strongest person I know. Uh, my brother, Jalal. I grew up, my, my pop, uh, Wallace Rountree. My step-pop, Hip. I had some great people around me growing up, great family. Uh, different sides. Uh, my grandma, Ora, rest in peace. Uh, grew up in the streets of Philadelphia, inner cities of America. Uh, I wanted to be down and... Because when I grew up and where I grew up at, in the ghetto, the only person that got the most attention was the person that was stealing the American dream, the drug dealer-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
... or the criminal-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
... 'cause he had the fancy cars, he had the jewelry. He, he dealt with the most beautifulest woman in the neighborhood. So it's like the movie. So as me, sitting on the step as a kid, when I see the car pull up, the nice music blasting out the Mercedes Benz, the jewelry, and I'm like... I'm sitting there, Mel, and I'm like, "Hold up. You mean to tell me, I notice Miss Johnson, Miss Brown and Miss Green, the older ladies, they spoke to that guy getting out of the Benz. They ain't speak to Mr. Carl walking down the street that's a plumber." I said, "I gotta go out there and steal the American dream." That's the only people, like, America only respect the successful criminals. They love 'em. That's why so many movies made about 'em. So I'm sitting there, I'm like, "Yo. I gotta be down." I was smart enough to know right from wrong. My grandmom, she taught me a lot. But I got into the crime life because I wanted things that I wasn't willing to work for 'cause I'm a kid. June 30 of 1990, I get arrested for armed robbery. Um, Philadelphia. I get... And I'll never forget when Nanny came in. Shout out to Nanny. She 91 now. She's, she's like 91 but she move around like she 31. Um, she sent my uncle Tommy to come get me. The next week, I got locked up again for armed rob- I kept getting locked up, so I wound up spending five years in juvenile. June 30 of 1990, I was 11 for like s- seven days. Uh, um, something like that. I wound up, kept going back. They sentenced me that year to a year and I wound up spending five years in juvenile.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- WAWallo
In and out. So by the time I turned 17, I, I got locked up for two armed robberies, two firearm violations. Got sentenced to a total of 19 and a half to 52 years in prison. They certified me as an adult. They said, "No. You're not a kid no more. You, you, you're good with crime. You know how to do crime."
- MRMel Robbins
How mad were your grandmothers and your mom at you?
- WAWallo
They was-
- MRMel Robbins
Because you just kept getting in trouble.
- WAWallo
They was mad at me.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause I can tell, I, I, I can just feel their energy right now.
- WAWallo
They was-
- MRMel Robbins
That they were just like, "Come on."
- WAWallo
They was, they was mad. And my grandmom used to always say, "You gonna get it. You gonna realize one day." Because you know what's crazy? Your grandma older. You saying to yourself, "She don't know what's going on out here," but she do.
- MRMel Robbins
Of course she does.
- WAWallo
She would always tell me, "You don't understand, baby, why you the only one that always go to jail. You always go to jail." And I remember one of my homeboys, uh, his mom was saying, "Y'all can't do, y'all can't do wrong-wrong. Y'all need to start doing right-right." It didn't hit me 'til later on in life when I was sitting in prison doing time. And, uh-
- MRMel Robbins
What does that mean?
- WAWallo
What you mean?
- MRMel Robbins
What, you're all doing wrong-wrong. You gotta start doing right-right.
- WAWallo
Yo, yo, y'all can't do wrong... Basically, y'all don't know how to be criminals.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) Oh, 'cause you keep getting arrested.
- WAWallo
Yeah. Y'all can't do wrong-wrong. I mean, y'all can't do wrong-right. You might as well do right-right, basically. So it was like, y'all can't even do wrong. Y'all don't even know how to do wrong. You know what I mean? So it was like, y'all really not good criminals. Y'all always get caught. Most criminals do (laughs) so we really not that good. So it was like, you know. And you don't, you don't think about that. But being you, being you wasn't cool.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- WAWallo
See, see, see, see, what's his name had a song out back in the day. But we heard it, we might have danced to it but it wasn't that, um, cool. It was, it was a nice song. You probably hear it on the T. You probably hear it on the radio. Huey Newton and The News had a song, "It's hip-
- 16:06 – 28:52
Wallo Wasn’t in Prison, He Was in Princeton
- WAWallo
- MRMel Robbins
I wanna go back to that moment where you're looking in the mirror and you're reflecting on the fact that you're doing all this time in prison-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... for being someone you're not.
- WAWallo
True.
- MRMel Robbins
And I'd love to have you talk to s- the person that's having this epiphany-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... as they're listening to you. And they're thinking, "Well, I am where I am, because I've been being someone I'm not."
- WAWallo
You, I'm talking to you. Y- you right there. You. You ain't tired yet? You out there being somebody that you're not. And guess what? You just keep losing. You don't feel right. You know you're not where you wanna be, 'cause you don't feel right. But you choose to take this path, 'cause you wanted to be accepted by a bunch of people that don't even accept theyself. 'Cause if they accepted theyself, they wouldn't put pressure on you to be with them. Why do they need you to be around? Why do they need you to change who you are? Think about it. But think about this journey you going on and say to yourself, "Hold up, this might not be for me. This might not be my ideas. This might not really be what I wanna do. But the crowd is telling me I should do this. The crowd is telling me this is what's cool. The crowd is telling me this is what's accepted." When you gonna say, "Fuck the crowd," and start accepting you? When you gonna cut the fuck-it button on and say, "Fuck what they think?" Huh? What you scared for? Huh? Wh- what you waiting for? Like, you think time is on your side? Time is not on your side. The only thing you got on your side is the decision to let go of everything that's not supportive to you, everything that's forcing you to change who you are in order to be a part of this idea of what's right and what's wrong. Man, come on. It's bullshit. Let go. Get free. Be you. Love you. Respect yourself enough to choose you. Say yes to you and no to them.Oh, yeah, that's the new book coming out too.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
My new book.
- MRMel Robbins
And buy it while you're at it.
- WAWallo
Yes, buy it. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, one of the things that I love about you is that your story proves that all of the excuses you have, "I don't have this, I don't have that." I mean, you're in a fricking prison cell for God's sakes.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
You still have years on your sentence.
- WAWallo
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And you made a decision-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... that you were going to be you, and you had this incredible way that you thought about being in jail after that moment. Can you explain that breakthrough to us?
- WAWallo
I used to tell people, "I'm not in jail, I'm in Yale. I'm not in prison, I'm in Princeton. I'm not in the state pen, I'm in Penn State." Right?
- MRMel Robbins
What does that mean?
- WAWallo
That mean that I'm not just sitting around in here. I'm in here educating myself. Their... It's not their job to educate them... me, it's their job to house me. And at this time, what's so crazy about it, my mind was clicking so much because in the state prisons of Pennsylvania, you could buy a TV off-commissary. Whereas though you get some certain TV channels, cable channels, whatever, you pay for it all. My cellies, cellmates, they used to always say, "Why do you always turn the TV?" 'Cause I'm turning the TV all the time.
- MRMel Robbins
You mean flipping channels?
- WAWallo
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- WAWallo
They used to be like, "Something didn't come on." I was addicted to commercials. I was addicted to advertising and marketing 'cause I always say, "Hold up, man. Big Mac never looked like that when I went in McDonald's. It's, it's been sloppy. It don't be like that. Something ain't right." Then I realized, "Oh, they outsource that to advertising agencies." I started learning about marketing. "Damn, why is... when they got the car commercial, they got a Black person doing it, Latino person doing it, Asian per- based off the channel you... Oh, what is marketing? Oh," I ran into a book called Damn Good Advice by George Lois. Oh, I'm reading all this, uh, ƒ1 mark. I'ma start learning about marketing. I started learning about advertisement. I'm learning about, "Oh, they paying all this money for that?" So now I'm start- I'm thinking more. I'm thinking... I'm just looking at that, I'm looking at that, and then one day, as I'm changing the channel, I come across this guy, right? One of my mentors, right? When I come across this skinny guy, man, skinny white guy, right? And I'm like, "What's, what's going on?" I look. He here, then the next day he here, he just always eating food. His name was Anthony Bourdain, my mentor. So when I see him, I'm like, "Hold up. Anthony Bourdain taught me in the cell that the world is your playground, go play. He taught me that the world is bigger than your neighborhood. He taught me that Wallow, they're waiting for you. Go out there and connect with your people."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
"It's people, places, and things that's waiting for your arrival with a sign on it." When I seen Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown, No Reservations, The Layover, I was like, "This guy used to get high, he got his life together. He was a cook in New York City. He a New York Times bestseller. Life... He didn't let hard times beat him up. An- and his name Anthony Bourdain?" I watched every show religiously. I never stopped watching him, 'cause Anthony Bourdain, he gave me a passport while I was sitting in the cell. He used to talk to me through the TV show. And I was like, "Damn," because this is what happened. When you come from where I come from, if you're not willing to be exposed to other cultures and other ideas, sometimes you'll miss out on a mentor like Anthony Bourdain based uh- based- based upon his color of his skin, uh, the different... We work so hard to find so much, th- so many differences in ourself, when it's so easy to find something that, something that connect us. He connected us 'cause he was a teacher, and he was able to say... He connected with me because it was like, I didn't know that I was looking for him and I found him. In life, the greatest moments is going to happen when you're not prepared for them, when you're not looking for 'em. And Ant came through. I used to call him Ant. Uh, Ant came through, and he just u- be like smoking a cigarette, drinking a hot tea, eating the craziest stuff. It was like, "Wallow, go out there and live. It's waiting for you." It was waiting for me. I ain't give up. I could overdo. I ain't give up in New York City. I ain't give up. Ant ain't give up. I ain't give up. And what he did, he showed me that I'm gonna get out, and I'm going to create what Anthony Bourdain created, but I'ma show people that's where I'm from. So as I'm looking at Anthony, I'm reading books, stuff on George Lois, I'm reading all this type of stuff, and I'm in there in this university mode. And that was the whole thing. "I'm not in prison, I'm in Princeton." I felt as though, like... because I felt as though the information that I could learn here, I could go out there and make as money, make as much as money as somebody that's in Ivy League right now. But the only thing different, I had to pay with my life. I ain't gotta, I ain't gonna owe them no back money.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- 28:52 – 38:27
Wallo’s Guide to Making Big Changes
- MRMel Robbins
said happens. You start to say, "I don't really like my life. I don't like how I feel. Why am I doing this? Why I'm an accountant? Well, how did I end up in jail? Well, like what is... why did I marry this person?"
- WAWallo
This is the issue. And I realized this is what happened. We don't value the most important thing in every human being life. We use it for the wrong things. We use it for vanity. We use it for... The most important thing in your life will always tell you the truth, even if you duck it. Will always be real for you. Will always show you who you truly are, is the mirror. Not your friend. Not somebody's shell. The mirror will never lie to you 'cause when you look in that mirror, you see who you is when nobody else is around, when nobody else is looking. When you get up out the bed and your hair not done, you've not got that shave, your breath stinking or whatever it is, and you go and you go to splash water on your face, even before that, you go to use the bathroom and you walk by that mirror and you see yourself, you got all the answers there. You just keep running away from it. You're scared to be you. You're scared that the raw truth is there in that mirror. That's the raw truth. But you use it for vanity. And you know what's crazy about the mirror? A lot of times when you go to the mirror, a lot of y'all be getting pimped by people future perceptions of you.... really be getting pimped. Because when you go to the mirror in the morning, you know what you use it for? You use it for dumb stuff. You go to the mirror, especially if you got the big mirror in your living room or where you getting dressed at, you put all your stuff on, you looking at it, and you say to yourself, "Oh, I don't like this." It's not that you don't like this. You don't think the people at work is gonna like it. You don't think the place that you going to is gonna like it, the wedding, the party, the whatever. You don't think... It's not even about you no more. See, you using the mirror in the wrong way. You're supposed to be using the mirror to empower yourself and have real conversations with yourself and really look at who you truly are, but you don't use the mirror for that. You use the mirror for vanity. You use the mirror to keep punching yourself back. When are you gonna use the mirror to lift yourself up? When are you gonna use the mirror to get you, get forward? Huh? When you gonna stop being a scaredy-cat? Hmm? Hmm? When you gonna grow up? Hmm? Guess what? Time is not on your side. One day, you better realize that. Take advantage of the mirror.
- MRMel Robbins
How do I do that? Like, I, I, I, I really mean this. I don't mean this like a cliché question-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... because being honest with yourself-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... can be a very difficult thing to do.
- WAWallo
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So many people sit in the wrong relationship for years. They stay in a job that makes them miserable. They keep making choices-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... that are the easier choice now, but it makes your life harder, whether that's drinking too much, or spending money that you don't have, or spending time with people that really aren't your people and bring you down. How do you have that moment of honesty? Because it didn't happen immediately for you. There was so much shit-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... that went down in your life and so much pain that you had to experience-
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... to get to a point where you're like, "I'm just done with this shit. I got to this unhappy place by being someone I'm not, and I need to change." So, how can I use the mirror, not for vanity, but to truly cause that kind of moment of truth that you need to have in order to change your life for the better?
- WAWallo
Mel, look at me. I'm talking to you personally.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- WAWallo
You know how you say, "Let them?" Fuck them.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) Okay.
- WAWallo
You gotta be-
- MRMel Robbins
Fuck them.
- WAWallo
You gotta be violent with it. And when I say violent, in the inside, this violence gotta take place. Not to anybody else-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- WAWallo
... but you gotta be ruthless within to say, "You know what? I'm tired of you taking advantage of me. I'm tired of you being in my life." A lot of people is out here sleeping with the enemy. Their biggest hater is somebody that's laying next to him. Their biggest hater is one of their friends. Their biggest hater is one of their parents. Their biggest hater is one of their, one of their, uh, siblings. You got to be violent about it. Let them? Fuck them. Fuck them. Say it, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
Fuck them.
- WAWallo
Say it louder, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
Fuck them.
- WAWallo
Fuck. On the count of three-
- MRMel Robbins
Here goes.
- WAWallo
... we're gonna say it together. One, two, three. Fuck them!
- 38:27 – 42:27
Walking Out of Prison After 20 Years
- WAWallo
- MRMel Robbins
I wanna ask you a question, 'cause I feel like people change because of one of two reasons. One is pain.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That's always the source for me. And the second is clarity, but clarity often comes from these deep moments of pain.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
When you were about to be released from prison, after being in prison for two decades, you had this video where you said that you had $1,000 saved up from the various jobs you worked in prison-
- WAWallo
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... from money that your family sent you, and you were so clear about what you were going to do when you got released.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Can you share that? Because I wanna unpack the power of that intention, and the power of being clear. Because I feel like one of the things that really gets in people's way is they don't even, they're not even clear about what they want. And you were so clear that I could tell in the video itse- I'm like, "This guy's gonna do this." So tell that story, and then tell me about the power of being clear about who you are and what you're out to do.
- WAWallo
See, (sighs) when I came home from prison.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
Number one, the first day it was time for me to get out, I was scared. The-
- MRMel Robbins
You were scared?
- WAWallo
The scariest day of prison was the day that they let me go, and I'ma tell you why before I get to where I'm going. Because I never was who I told my family that I was ready to be. I never was that person before. The person that I said I became, there was no temptation to show that I was that person.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- WAWallo
I was that person of the mind-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- WAWallo
... but I wasn't that person off of lived experience and action yet.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- WAWallo
So, I was scared walking out 'cause I'm like, "Wow. I gotta deal with temptation." Once I got out there, (sniffs) smelled the air, breathing, oh man. When I did that video, I said in, Nanny middle room, shout out to Nanny. When I put that money on the bed, and I, I, I, it seemed like yesterday when I did that video. I wasn't outta prison that many days. I was so clear in knowing, if you ever seen that video, you know what I'm talking about. She might put it in here. If you ever seen that video, you could see it. I knew, I spoke with conviction, and I'm clear about everything because ... You ready to know why I was so clear, Mel?
- MRMel Robbins
Yes, I am.
- WAWallo
Who the fuck gonna stop me? Ain't nobody worrying about me! Ain't nobody worrying about you! Nobody is gonna get in your fucking w- Don't nobody care! Who is gonna stop you from materializing your dream? And guess what? And guess what, Mel?
- MRMel Robbins
Tell me.
- WAWallo
Americans be ******* playing games with what they got. I said, "I'ma destroy 'em out here. They out here playing fucking games. They don't even know where they live at." I said, "I am gonna destroy 'em like I'm American, like I just, like I just got here. I'ma destroy 'em." Nobody is gonna stop me." Do you know how easy it is to set a business up? Do you know how easy it is to get a trademark? Do you know how easy it, like, do you know how easy it is to do these things? Do you, do you? Do you know how easy it is to open up a bank account? Do you know how easy it is to get a passport? Do you know how easy it is to get a real ID? Do you know how easy that is? Nobody block you from doing them. So, so you mean to tell me, hold up, I could go on one of these sites and I could set up my whole business? I could just walk in a bank with two pieces of paper and say, "Here, and my ID," and they could open up an account? I could get a card? I could get American exp... I could go on social media and promote my products for free? Like, I'm sure somebody's gonna stop me.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
I'm sure somebody's gonna, gonna say, "No the fuck you're not, Wallo. You can't be a, you can't come home from prison and, and start..." Who is going... Don't nobody care. Can't nobody stop me. Nobody is gonna get in
- 42:27 – 45:22
How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Life
- WAWallo
your fucking way.
- MRMel Robbins
Can you please tell that to the person listening?
- WAWallo
Nobody is going to get in your fucking way but you! 'Cause what happened is, this is how it be.You be going to do your thing, right? You be going to do your thing, and this is what happen. You jump right in front of yourself and say, "Uh-uh, you ain't going nowhere. You ain't gonna be great. Nuh-uh, you can't do it." You your biggest fucking hater! You! You always talk yourself out of ideas. Soon as you say, "Here it is, I put the idea together, I'm ready to do it." "No, you're not." Then you sit back down.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) Sorry. It's so fucking true!
- WAWallo
You sit back down! You do all this research, you got... Listen, we ain't walking around with computers in our pockets. When I grew up, I didn't know nobody in the neighborhood that had a fucking computer, man. You only see that when you go downtown and, and you go into one of them buildings, and the computer was big as this table back then. You walking around with a computer in your pocket? You mean to tell me you can access a phone with anything? Back in the day, we had to go to a library to figure out something. There's some books that we had... First, we had to find a book of the information we was looking for, and hope they told us what we was looking for. Nobody is going to stop you but you. Now let me ask you a question. When is you gonna stop being the biggest enemy in your life? You're your biggest enemy. Nobody cares. Nobody's gonna stop you. So what they gonna talk about you? So what they gonna laugh at you? What does that mean? Haters is your marketing team, let them work. Haters is your marketing team, let them work! They tell people about you. They... Y- y- you know how many haters will get you followers, from laughing at you or sending your stuff around to their friends? "Look at this clown, look at this..." They did that to me. They laughed at me. So what? They was laughing at me 'cause I was different. I was laughing at them 'cause they all the same. But, but what makes you cool? Look at it, look, look at what's going on. The smart, fearless people is out here destroying shit. The people that say, "I'm gonna sit here, I don't care, not even gonna stay on the street, I'm gonna, I'm gonna build my app, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm..." They running stuff. When you gonna start running your life? 'Cause you don't even run your life.
- MRMel Robbins
You know what came to mind as you were saying that? Is that, here you are free and you're building wealth-
- WAWallo
Oh, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... and you're doing your thing.
- WAWallo
Easy.
- MRMel Robbins
And you a- are just doing your thing, and the people who are in prison are the ones that are calling you names and hating on you, but the haters are helping you build your wealth.
- WAWallo
But, but listen, you know what?
- MRMel Robbins
You don't even... You know what I'm saying?
- WAWallo
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, in the prison of their mind.
- WAWallo
Y- yeah, yes.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause, 'cause think about-
- WAWallo
They talk about you.
- MRMel Robbins
... how incarcerated you are if you spend any of your time and energy tearing people down online-
- WAWallo
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... when you could take that time and energy and actually put it into educating yourself or building something that you want and getting out of your own way.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- 45:22 – 57:09
Why You Need to Live the Life You Want Now
- WAWallo
- MRMel Robbins
You talk a lot about energy.
- WAWallo
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
How important it is to protect it. Let's talk about energy.
- WAWallo
Energy is very important, right? Right? You got different levels of energy. You got positive energy, you got negative energy. Then you just got floating energy, energy that you don't know what the fuck's going on, you don't know what you wanna do energy.
- MRMel Robbins
I think there's a lot of people with that.
- WAWallo
Like, yeah, yeah, but because, a lot of times, like, the reality is, it's sad, and the sad truth is, some people just don't got the energy to change.
- MRMel Robbins
Hm.
- WAWallo
Change is uncomfortable, 'cause you gotta cut that switch on and you gotta be willing to be talked about. I did a post and I said, on the post, I said, "Strangers make you rich." Strangers make you rich! Stop worrying about the people that you know. Stop worrying about the people you went to school with. Stop worrying about the people that you went to college with. Strangers make you rich! Strangers made Bon Jovi rich. It made Guns N' Roses rich, Michael Jackson rich, Michael Jordan... Just think if only people that was Michael Jor- Jordan fans was 15, 20 people, 30 people, 100 people we know. That's not enough. Stop worrying about, "Oh, they don't support me! They not worth me! Ah, man! Ah, shut it, eh, shut up!" Strangers make you rich. When you go to Mel's show, there's people you never knew. They didn't go to college with you, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-mm.
- WAWallo
They, they didn't... They, they, they don't know you. They didn't... They wasn't your childhood friends, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
Nope.
- WAWallo
They... No, no, no. No, no. Everybody that Mel was talking about, let them... Them people that... See, th- they, they don't matter. The people that support it and understand the mindset shift, they matter. We spend too much time worrying about the people that's not supporting or the people that's not there that we forget to say... I wanna give a shout-out right now on Mel, Mel E. Mel show, to everybody that ever supported YLO 267. I'm talking about everybody that reposted me, that liked it, even the people that talked bad about me. But at the end of the day, if you want... If you, if you talking about wealth, you talking about getting... You gotta have that right energy. And you gotta have the energy, you gotta have the energy to put yourself in position before you get in position. I was a millionaire before I was a millionaire, let me tell you something.
- MRMel Robbins
What does that mean, you were a millionaire before you were a millionaire?
- WAWallo
I was a millionaire before I was a millionaire, and I was preparing for my bank account. I was preparing for everything to come, because... Let me tell you something, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
Tell me.
- WAWallo
I'm living in Philadelphia. I'm living in nanny middle room, right? So I'm living in the middle room. I used to get on the subway. I had my, my backpack on. Or sometime I walk from Broad and Allegheny all the way to downtown, Center City, Philadelphia, whatever. It depends on... I got my, my earphones on, I'm listening to Sanford. And I'm, I'm jamming, I'm singing to myself, I'm laughing. People thought I was crazy 'cause I used to dance all through the streets. Sometimes I throw Bruce string- Br- Bruce Springsteen on, Streets of Philadelphia, come on. He's singing and, and I'm walking through the streets. I feel like I'm in a movie, but I feel like Bruce. I'm like Bruce, I'm l- like, yeah. The boss is singing to me, he's singing... He's my... He... Listen. You know how when you... Every time I come out the house sometimes, like a couple times a week-I had it in the streets of Philadelphia playing by The Boss. And I'm like, "Yeah, he's doing my theme music." It's like I come out, you know, like a superhero.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes. Yes.
- WAWallo
It's like Streets of Philadelp-
- MRMel Robbins
Everyone needs to walk on, man.
- WAWallo
So I'm walking, I'm like, "Yeah." So I go downtown, right? And I'm telling you, you gotta be bold. I was cocky with my imagination. And I'm gonna tell you about how me going to prison from 17 to 37, it fortified my imagination. So I came back out with imagination like I was 17. But let me tell you about my imagination. I used to go downtown Philadelphia, the Four Seasons, one of the best hotels in the city, right? I'd go down there, right? I'd go to the bar, right? Just get me a hot tea in a to-go cup with lemon and honey. 'Cause I'm like, "It's on the top floor. I can overlook the city. I'm the man right now." You gotta know you're the man, and you gotta... Listen, you gotta know that you him, you gotta know that you her before you become there, before you arrive. So I go there, get my hot tea. Right after there, I leave, I go see one of these luxury condos downtown. I'm going, looking, because once I realized that, "Hold up, I could go check out an apartment, luxury condo. I could go drive, test drive a car, and I ain't gotta have no money in my account like that? Oh, it's on." So I'm just preparing myself for the lifestyle that I'm gonna live. Like, I'm, I'm preparing my... So I go in there, and I'll never forget. I put my backpack down, I go in the condo lady . "Becau- Yeah, oh, so..." I, I'll be sit, sitting back, "Mm. So what do you think I should put here? Should I put my painting on the wall?"
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
"Should I put my art here? Should I put the couch there?" They're like, "Yeah, see, what I would do is..." And I'm just like, "Yeah." And I'm taking my time. I'm not in no rush, 'cause I'm filling it in.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- WAWallo
I'm like, "I would like to see the... Let me see the rooftop." Go on the rooftop, (sniffs) smell the air, overlook the city. "Mm, this is nice. Do y'all got a jacuzzi in there? A pool? Okay, let me check that out. Oh, yeah." Leave there, I go to the dealership, BMW, Benz, whatever. I be like, "Test drive? Yeah, you wanna let me... Yeah, let me test drive that." I'm talking about I wanted to test drive the most expensive car. Get in that joint, I'm driving it, right? Seatbelt on. "Yo, hook the Bluetooth up," 'cause I need to play my music.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
Throw my theme music on, coming through, window down, hand hanging. I'm like, "This is nice. I could get used to this." They're like, "What you thinking about it?" I said, "I'm thinking, man, let me go a couple more blocks." Ride around. They in there, they on their phone. They don't even care. I'm, I'm just prepping. I'm getting ready, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- WAWallo
I'm getting ready for the life that's waiting, that's coming.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- 57:09 – 1:08:08
Forgiveness is Freedom
- WAWallo
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
And the TED Talk that I did, I got two TED Talks. So I got three. I think I got three. I got TEDx's. I got, um, I Forgive My Brother's Killer. That was my first TED Talk, and I spoke about me forgiving my brother's killer. Um, and then the second one was Fuck It, but... Then I forget the third. But when I went down there and I did that, that was one of the most powerful things that I did, I Forgive My Brother's Killer, because to this day, it wasn't about the money I made. The impact was more powerful than the money I made from people booking me and all that, because I had people in airports, restaurants. They get up and say, "Man, I really needed to see that video." Um-
- MRMel Robbins
Talk to me about forgiveness. How did you-
- WAWallo
Oh, man.
- MRMel Robbins
... forgive the person who killed your brother?
- WAWallo
Because it was an unbelievable pain that somebody shot my brother. Um, he ran down the street. My grandma and nanny opened the door. He fell in Nanny arms. She was like, "What happened?" He died in Nanny arms in the childhood house we grew up at, um, in the doorway. It was, it was so painful when it happened because I'm in a cell and I'm watching it on the news.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- WAWallo
Like, I'm watching, like, "Somebody was shot," uh, duh, duh. And I'm in, 'cause I'm in, I'm outside of Philly at the prison. I'm like, "That look like Nanny house." And I'm like, "Damn." Couple days later, my mom bring these kids up, right? My niece and my nephew. So... And when I seen them and I seen the energy that they had as kids, and just, like, so excited to see me and just so, like... I'm like, "Damn." So much going through my mind. I'm like... And when I say forgive, I mean... be willing to live for somebody.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
In the right way. And utilize this as motivation to get up, to make sure that these babies is all right, to make sure my mommy... Because he was the oldest-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
... out of all. I was, it was him, then me. I was second. So I'm like, "I got a big responsibility now." So I think the greatest thing that I was to be able to do based off from my environment, 'cause I come from an environment where revenge is God, uh, get-back is God. But I said to myself, "You're not gonna be my God. My God is a different God. And my God forgive." One thing that I realized is that everybody want forgiveness, but who is willing, willing to forgive?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
And it wasn't about no ego or none of that, 'cause I got to always think with logic as I got, uh, older. And I'm like, "What is a logical... What I'ma do? Go out there, try to do something to somebody or somebody do something to me? Or, and they lose me or they lose them and I'm back." Like, so it was the, uh, it, the whole thing was just to sit back. And I had time, still had years to go in prison, where I was like, "I gotta figure out a way to turn the cycle of violence around in my community and show by example of what forgiveness look like and what living for somebody look like." Because if the cycle, the cycle of crime, the cycle of murder, um, is too normalized where I come from. But it's normalized based off of ego. Where I come from, a lot of people die based off of ego, based off of words, based off of emotions. And, um, I said, "I didn't want that to be me," and I wanted to be an example. Not for... It wasn't a natural thought of wanna be an example for other people, but I was just like, "I gotta be an example to my family and I gotta be an example to these kids that they got s- a man that they can count on."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
Um, because my brother wasn't able to fulfill that because his life was taken. So it was like, that there had me more, like...Okay. And I had to share that, and what's so funny, he said, "You only got, like, 18 minutes." I'm like, "All right, cool," because nobody else is gonna share that. I didn't wanna ... Once I seen what a TEDx is, and I said, "Oh, man, it's ... I got this."
- MRMel Robbins
How do you forgive, though?
- WAWallo
You forgive-
- MRMel Robbins
Like, how, how did you actually-
- WAWallo
You-
- MRMel Robbins
... get to the point where you no longer carry that anger with you? Like, that you're freed from it. Like, what does forgiveness even mean to you?
- WAWallo
Forgiveness, to me, personally-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- WAWallo
... if ... My condolence to anybody out there that lost somebody, right? Anybody out there, if you lost somebody through violence, um, my condolence to you. And I can only ... I could... I know the feeling, so I know what you go through. For me, personally, forgiveness helped me breathe because I wanted to celebrate my brother. I celebrate my brother by living for him, being happy ab- and, like, knowing who he was and having the memory of him, and not holding on to this dark part or this pain or this anger of the person that did something to my brother. So that was the, the, the ... It, it, like, when I got there, that my back was straight, I didn't have to, um ... I was able to breathe. It was like, "Damn, I got, I, I, I ..." It was like, I'm not carrying that around with me. It wasn't ... There'd be ... It takes a lot of energy to carry anger around for somebody to where as though the anger can supersede the love and the memories that you have for your loved ones. Because it's so much to carry. You, you carrying so ... And, and it's ... It could be unbearable. Be so ... Now, you're, you're, in a way ... And I, and I'm not saying that anybody have to choose this route. But in a way, you're neglecting the memories, preserving the memories, and, and, and just the life of your family member that was lost. So it was like, it's, it's, it's just like, it's real ... It, it, it's just like, it just, it just is a lot. But I was willing to get to that part in my life, and that was one of the most therapeutic things I ever did.
- MRMel Robbins
Did you ever tell the person that killed your brother that you forgive him?
- WAWallo
No, he, it, he out there, he know. It never was like that. I, it wasn't about him. It was about my family and me.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- WAWallo
You dig what I'm saying?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, I do.
- 1:08:08 – 1:15:02
Say Yes to You, No to Them
- MRMel Robbins
If the person who's been with us takes one thing from your remarkable life and all of the wisdom and truth that you've shared today, and they take one action, what do you think the most important thing for them to do is?
- WAWallo
What's that? Let me see that book. Yes to you, and no to them. You see where you at? This is you. This is you up here. You see where they at? The discipline of saying no and the freedom that follows. Yes to you. We live in this world where as though everybody is looking for somebody to come and save them. Everybody's looking for a reason to be upset with somebody when they don't get their way. It's not perfect, but for so long, you continuously choose others and you say yes to others, but you say no to you. When are you gonna start saying yes to you and no to them? It's not about them no more. It's about you. You gotta start choosing you and letting them go in order to grow, in order to glow, in order to go. That's what this is about. It's not about, when you, when you think about life, it's not even about, like, trying to please nobody no more. How old is we, man? Like, what the... Like, we living in the world where it's though even a person at 18 or 19, they know bet- Like, we got too much information. Like, you know better. You got... Listen. Yes to you, no to them. That's, that's it. The people that be in your life, you, you ever notice how your mom say no, but you could deal with it? The people that really love you could deal with it. The people that really love you could deal with it. Your mom and dad been telling you no, and they like, "And you can deal." The people that really love you, the people that really deal with you, the people that really value you, they cool with it. They ain't got no problem with it. They don't have no problem with it. The people that really love you is gonna stay, and the people that don't is gonna go. You don't want them in your life anyway. You already know why they was there. So, so what are, what are, what are we talking about? Like, what is we really talking about? You gotta think about that. What is we talking about? And another thing. Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck 'em! Capital F. What we talking about? You know? That's all she said. Let me, let me tell you something, man.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
Everybody out there, come here, y- you, everybody home that's watching this, uh, Mel, Me- Mel E. Mel universe, everybody out there, I'ma tell y'all a secret. Mel really said, "Fuck 'em."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
"Fuck them." That's what Mel said.
- MRMel Robbins
And you also said, "Fuck me because I'm the one in my own way. Fuck me."
- WAWallo
Yeah, Mel! Fuck you, Mel!
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
You in your own way, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
That's right. (laughs)
- WAWallo
You gotta say it a little louder. Fuck me, Mel. Could you say it louder?
- MRMel Robbins
Fuck me, Mel.
- WAWallo
A little louder.
- MRMel Robbins
Fuck me, Mel.
- WAWallo
Mel, Mel-
- MRMel Robbins
I'm in my own fucking way all the time.
- WAWallo
Mel is in her own fucking way. Mel, don't overthink it.
- MRMel Robbins
167, goddammit, I'm always in my fucking way.
- WAWallo
She always... Listen. Mel, y'all looking at Mel, she got all this shit going on, she walk on stage.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
Crowd is just like...
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
Whole time, she backstage overthinking. "Is my hair..." Shut up, Mel. This ain't nothing to worry about your hair. Fuck is you talking about? Your glasses is perfect.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- WAWallo
She back there, "Oh, my God, is this right?" Mel, let it go. Let the shit go. Fuck 'em, man. What do we sh- we told, what we doing, Mel? You worrying about the wrong shit, Mel. You creating problems for yourself, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
Huh.
- WAWallo
And that's what it, th- that's the whole thing. Like, you gotta say yes to you, no to them, man. Fuck 'em, man. Stop worrying. Listen. Stop worrying about them, and worrying about you. Start loving you. Start... As a matter of fact, before you love you, you gotta start liking you. Then you gotta start loving you. Then you gotta know, listen, I ain't got it all figured out, but I'ma figure it out one day. And that's enough.
- MRMel Robbins
And if we keep following and listening to you, we're gonna figure it out faster
- WAWallo
Listen, man, listen, you-
Episode duration: 1:17:34
Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript
Transcript of episode 0pYim783TCo
Get more out of YouTube videos.
High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.
Add to Chrome