The Mel Robbins PodcastIt’s Not Too Late: The 5 Shifts That Will Change the Rest of Your Year | Ed Mylett
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
65 min read · 12,562 words- 0:00 – 3:40
Meet the Guest
- EMEd Mylett
The highlight reel of your life is not your mistakes, it's not your setbacks, it's not who left, it's not who betrayed you. It's the fact that you're still standing after they did, and that makes you incredible.
- MRMel Robbins
Today, on The Mel Robbins Podcast. You know, Ed, this is the first interview that you've done in almost two years.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
What happened?
- EMEd Mylett
I've never said this. It's pretty personal. I'm gonna get more clear on what I want. I'm gonna take away and pluck out of my life the things that don't serve me anymore. You are literally one decision away from changing your life, and it's not too late.
- MRMel Robbins
The extraordinary Ed Mylett. It is such an honor to welcome you, my dear friend, Ed Mylett, to The Mel Robbins Podcast.
- EMEd Mylett
I am so happy to be here. It is so good to see you. I love you, and I'm so proud of all you've been doing.
- MRMel Robbins
Aw. I am so excited to have you here, because when I feel down, when I feel discouraged, when I overcomplicate my life-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... you're the person I turn to.
- EMEd Mylett
Oh, wow. Thank you, Mel, so much. That means the world to me coming from you.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, that's why I wanted you here, because I feel like you have this magical ability-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... to lift people up-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... when they feel very low. And if the person who is listening right now feels like the best of their life is behind them-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... or they just feel stuck and discouraged-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... if they were to truly take to heart everything that you're about to share with us today from your remarkable life-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... and the things that you've learned the hard way-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... what could change?
- EMEd Mylett
I think everything can change. I'm a big believer, and I know you are as well, you, you are literally one decision away from changing your life, and that is not rhetoric to me in any way. You're one new relationship, one new idea, one breakthrough. You truly are one opportunity, one decision away. But here's the hook. If you don't live a life expecting those one mores to show up, you're going to miss them, and all it is is a decision. Hey, I'm gonna get up expecting some good crap to happen. I'm gonna get up expecting someone to come in that's gonna make a shift. I'm gonna get up maybe coming up with a new idea. I'm gonna expect listening to this podcast today between Ed and Mel, I'm gonna come up with a new idea, a new thought, a new perspective. If you expect it, your mind goes to work on confirming that belief. You have to say, "You know what? The way I've been thinking, unfortunately, has got me where I'm at. What do I have to lose by just maybe just imagining a diff-" You don't even have to believe it's gonna happen yet. I didn't say believe it yet. We'll get to that later. It starts with imagining it. Here's the other thing I would say. You're probably already imagining things now. They're just not the things that serve you.
- MRMel Robbins
So give me some examples.
- EMEd Mylett
Well, I can tell you, like, the way that I was raised with an alcoholic and a drug addict dad, and by the way, we're recording this in Boston, we were on welfare when we lived here in Boston as a little boy. So I know what it... I, I, I really kind of think I know what it's like to not feel good about yourself. To this day, at 55, walking in here today, I still struggle, which is amazing to... I don't know if I've ever said this on any show out loud. I still... Driving over here, I was like, "Why, why would they listen to me?" I, I still struggle with massive insecurity, self-confidence, all of those things. They're things that I don't, I don't know that I'm ever gonna leave all of them. So if that was a requirement to have a decent life, I would never have one. The one thing I would say, at least in my own life, 'cause I have felt that way many times. Even recently, I felt
- 3:40 – 8:57
What to Do When You Feel Helpless
- EMEd Mylett
that way. When you feel the most helpless, attempt to become the most helpful. In other words, move your frame of reference off of yourself temporarily and do whatever you can to just go serve in some way, in a quiet way. It can even be small. It can even be just calling someone out of the blue that you've not talked to in a long time and saying, "Hey, just want to remind you," which I do with you from time to time, "I love you. I'm thinking about you." Just somehow get out of self for a second. And so when you feel helpless, get helpful. When I was at my lowest in my life, I remember thinking, "I'm gonna literally say a prayer for this person that's walking by me." Like, literally on the street, just peace be with them. And it was... It made me feel good about me. It's like I have some value, some worth. I gotta tell you something, maybe it's too much, but I was with my dad when he died, Mel, and, uh, I literally held my father's hand when he took his last breath. This is pretty personal, but we were in my dad's house, Mel, and, um, and I walked in there, and immediately something dawned on me. Um, that was my dad there, but it was not really my dad anymore. That was his body. I just, I just knew there's more to us than our bodies, whatever your faith beliefs are, but there's a, there's a spirit to you. There's a soul. There's an energy. There's a frequency that you were put here to do something in your life that's great for a reason. You're supposed to be happy. You're supposed to get some of those dreams out of your life. You're supposed to have some memories. We were in my dad's house, Mel. My dad's car was parked in the driveway. He didn't take any of those with him. You're not your possessions. My dad had some awards literally in the room he passed away in. You're not your accolades or what other people think about you or say about you. He took none of that with him. But there's another thing my dad had when he died that he also didn't take with him. My dad had fears, problems, worries, insecurities. None of those went with him. So you are not those things. Not only are you not your body or your possessions or what other people say about you, but you're not these worries. You're not these fears. You're not your insecurities. So at any time, you can make a decision to begin to separate from them. You don't have to wait till the end like my dad did, and I say that to everybody because I think sometimes we think every condition we have is forever.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
Nothing's forever. This life isn't forever. So why not begin to think a little bit differently? Why not to imagine and dream? Because you're not gonna take any of that stuff with you anyway
- MRMel Robbins
How did that experience and revelation shift you?
- EMEd Mylett
You know what occurs to you when, when a parent passes away? You're next. I'm next. I've only got so much time here left. And so what it did for me is it made me audit my life. What matters to me? What's important? Who do I wanna be when this thing's over with? I know we're getting heavy early. [laughs] But it did do that for me. And, um, but the biggie for me was I'm a worrier. I wor-
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs] People wouldn't know that about you.
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
But it's so true.
- EMEd Mylett
It's true. I worry. And, um, I, I know where it comes from too, but I, I just think so many of the things I worried about in my life I made bigger than they were. And I've spent so much of my life not giving myself the gift of peace that was always around me.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- EMEd Mylett
It was always around me. And I thought, "Man, if I c- once I get that, I can be happy. Once I get that, I won't worry anymore. Once I have enough money saved, or once..." I remember thinking when I was so broke and all this money on credit cards is, "If I could just get these credit cards paid off. If I could just get the..." And I kept moving the end zone all of the time. And so when my dad died, I literally decided I'm, I'm, I'm going to enjoy the gifts that are around me. And it turns out it's the people, and just looking into their eyes a little bit longer, spending a little bit more time telling them I love them. And I know that may sound hokey, but it brings me great joy to do that in my life now. That's not that I don't think you should go for your big dreams, right, and have achievement and make a difference. This show makes a huge difference. I'd like to think my show makes a difference in people's lives. But I don't ever wanna do that again at the expense of the people around me that are closest to me. And I know you feel that way too. It's like just sometimes just there are blessings around us if we'll just acknowledge them. And I think sometimes we think, "Well, if I... Once I'm happy, then I'll get that thing." What if it's the reverse? What is it if you could actually feel some of the emotions of gratefulness and gratitude and joy and bliss and peace now, that the things you want will find you, rather than you having to go get all these things thinking if you get them, you'll get the emotion?
- MRMel Robbins
You said a couple things that I wanna make sure that I have you unpack 'cause they're really important.
- EMEd Mylett
Okay.
- MRMel Robbins
And, you know, I told you when we first started talking, I said, "I think that as you're listening to this, you're gonna have goosebumps because you're gonna feel like this conversation at this exact moment is exactly what you needed to hear."
- EMEd Mylett
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
And I already feel that way for me-
- EMEd Mylett
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
... personally, so-
- EMEd Mylett
Oh
- MRMel Robbins
... what you just said about your dad.
- EMEd Mylett
Oh.
- MRMel Robbins
Um, 'cause I do think a lot about time and how, uh, it's ticking.
- EMEd Mylett
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And that if you're not careful, you'll miss the things-
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... that matter most-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... 'cause you were busy thinking you had more time.
- EMEd Mylett
That's
- 8:57 – 12:11
How to Reinvent Your Life
- EMEd Mylett
right.
- MRMel Robbins
But you also said, you know, you had regrets around it.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
But you then recalibrated. So could you explain why that's a powerful pivot when you are brave enough to see your regrets-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... but then you use the regret to recalibrate how you move forward?
- EMEd Mylett
There's two things that move you, I found, in this life. It's, one is, like, moving towards pleasure and dreams. The other one is moving away from pain.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- EMEd Mylett
And sometimes this pain can kind of be a gift in the sense that, you know, I, like, I don't... I'm not a big, uh, drinker. I have a cocktail, as you know, but I'm not a big drinker. And one of the reasons I'm not is because of the pain of watching my father do too much of it. So some of these things actually that are brought into our life, um, can teach us a lesson. I'm a big believer that at any stage of your life you have full permission to re-audit it and just ask yourself, like, "Is this still my dream? Is this still what I want? Is this still serving me?" I have an island. There was these two bald eagles on the island, Wilma and Fred, and they were there about 15 years before I bought it. I found Fred one day under a tree, and he was struggling. And I put some food out, and he didn't come out for... He finally came out, and I thought, "Something's wrong. I don't know bald eagles very well, but something's wrong." We called the bird sanctuary, and, uh, about two days later they had to-
- MRMel Robbins
Aw
- EMEd Mylett
... put him down and, and, uh, he went to heaven. And afterwards, the lady from the bird sanctuary came out and she said, "Just so you know, Wilma will go soon."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- EMEd Mylett
Usually when they lose their mate, they'll go soon. About five weeks later, I'm taking a walk and I'm hearing this banging against the rocks like a woodpecker. And I'm like, "What is going on here?" And I look and it's Wilma literally ramming her beak into these rocks. And I'm like, "Oh my gosh, she's, she's trying to take her life." And then I saw her about five weeks later, and she had, like, half her feathers. And I'm like, "Oh, no." So I called the lady from the bird sanctuary, and she says, "Let me come out." And the lady from the bird sanctuary begins to cry, like, pretty heavy. And I said, "What's going on?" She goes, "Oh my gosh, she's doing it." And I said, "What's that?" And she goes, "Ed, about 5% of the time when they lose their mate, they'll go through a complete remaking of themselves. And what they do is they have to first sharpen their beak." So that banging on the rocks, she was sharpening her beak. And then what they do is she's plucking all the feathers off of her that no longer serve her.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh my God.
- EMEd Mylett
And what will happen is new ones will grow in, and she would add about 10 years to her life. And sure enough, she ended up coming back about six months later. All of these feathers were back. She ends up finding a new mate. She's had three babies. They live there on the island. She's remade her life. The lesson is sometimes in life it's not about adding a bunch more stuff. It's the reverse. It's about re-auditing and saying, "I'm gonna sharpen my beak. I'm gonna get more clear on what I want. I'm gonna take away and pluck out of my life the things that don't serve me anymore, the beliefs that don't serve me. Maybe some of the relationships that are toxic that don't serve me anymore, the environments that I'm in." And when you begin to take away things, a whole new you emerges, and you get a new life. And that's what happened to Wilma, and that's sort of what happened when my dad passed.
- MRMel Robbins
How long ago did your dad pass?
- EMEd Mylett
Three years.
- 12:11 – 17:28
How to Audit Your Life
- EMEd Mylett
Three and a half.
- MRMel Robbins
And you said you did an audit.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So is there a specific way that the person listening- can take audit of their life?
- EMEd Mylett
Simple. I actually wrote down the things that I thought I wanted in my life. I made a list of the things that I wanted in my life, and I actually literally ranked them on what juiced me anymore, and that when life was over, which one of these am I gonna... And I got to the point where I'm, I'm... Here's my new thing in my life. What do I wanna leave here? And for me, what I wanna leave here is I wanna leave here great memories with my family, great dreams with my family, far deeper relationships with my friends, and I also wanna leave here feeling like, you know, I used to say, "Max out your life. Get everything." And to me, that meant climbing. To me now, the, the biggest commodity in my life is people and time. And so I made a list of the things, and I found to myself that a lot of the things that I wrote down didn't juice me anymore. And then what I did, here's the biggie, I wrote down what I was afraid of.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
Because although I don't, maybe people might not think this, I'm loaded with fears, loaded with worries, loaded with anxiety. And so I wrote those things down, and I began to ask myself, how real were they?
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
And once I wrote them down, they lost a lot of their power over me. I became really aware of how silly most of these things were that I wor- was worried about simply by writing them down, getting them out of my mind and onto a sheet of paper tactically is what I did different. I'm like, "That's hilarious. That one's dumb. That one's valid. That one's maybe. Maybe that one. This one's never going to happen, dumb-dumb. You've been carrying this one forever." And writing them down almost like they're, they were thoughts I had. They were not me once I put them on the paper.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, Ed, this is the first interview that you've done in almost two years.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And you have millions of people that follow you online.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Millions of people that listen to your podcast and have for 10 years.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Um, what happened?
- EMEd Mylett
Uh, well, the big thing that happened, I had two what I would call, we'll call them cardiac events. Um, and, uh, that was God awakening me, like shake. Like, "Okay, you're not gonna hear what I'm telling you, you're not gonna slow down, we're gonna physically slow you down." But the other part of it, Mel, honestly, was that, uh, during that exact same time, though, I was already evaluating what do I really want anymore. We had dinner the other night, and I'm like, "Gosh, I say yes to a lot of dinner." And then it's the night of the dinner, and you're like, " [sighs] We, I wouldn't be brokenhearted if they canceled." You know what I'm saying? Like, there's so many things in my life at this... I really am on this thing now where I don't think success is about adding more. People are tired. They're tired. They're fatigued. And what I'm saying is I don't think it's adding a bunch of stuff. I think it's making room for stuff.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm. What's the difference?
- EMEd Mylett
The, the difference is cleaning out your closet. We just moved, and we had to clean out, I had to clean out my closet. I had all this stuff in my closet. It was loaded with all this stuff. Like 90% of the stuff I don't wear, is weird, is outdated. I'm keeping it around 'cause it's gonna come back someday. And once I, like, took all this stuff, and it was very hard, I'm practically a hoarder, all this stuff out of... I have, like, tennis shoes, like 15 years old, very malodorous tennis shoes I'm never going to wear again, but somehow if I lose the pair I've got, I'm gonna wear it. Like, it was silly. And I got rid of a lot of it, and I'm like, "Wow. First off, this closet's way bigger than I remember it being." And there's room now in my closet to add one or two things that are quite good-looking that I would actually wear. Once you start to eliminate thoughts that don't serve you, maybe a couple people, some relationships, maybe it's a habit or two you have, when you remove them, now you've created some space. Oh, now, phew, I can add one or two things that do serve me. So that was sort of the process for me. It also gives you some clarity, like what matters now? There's this space in my life to think and breathe. And that, and it, by the way, I know a lot of people are like, "Man, I gotta pay this bill. I've got this thing. I've got my kids to soccer. I've got my grandkids over here. I've got this." I 100% do that. That's why you gotta fight even harder for clarity and space.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
And a lot of it, a lot of it is probably thoughts that ruminate in your mind that you have picked up that do not bring you peace. They bring you chaos, stress, and tension in your life, and it's giving yourself the gift of some spring cleaning of the closet of your mind. And most of this you're not going to take with you anyway, so evaluate it, audit it. Give yourself... You can literally start a life over at any point you want, even in the worst time. Wilma started her life over when it all was going away. She lost her home. She had lost the man of her dreams. She had lost her life. It was almost over, and she went, "You know what? I'm gonna sharpen my beak. I'm gonna create some space. I'm gonna get rid of these feathers that don't serve me anymore." And I think lit- it's, it's such a crazy metaphor, but it literally allowed her to soar and to fly again in her life. It wasn't adding stuff. It was eliminating stuff.
- MRMel Robbins
What I love about what you're sharing about the recent revelations that you've had-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... is that there is so much that takes up space in your mind and in your life that actually isn't helpful-
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... and isn't important to you.
- EMEd Mylett
Amen.
- 17:28 – 24:06
What to Do When You Can’t Stop Worrying
- EMEd Mylett
That's right.
- MRMel Robbins
So if you were a huge worrier, and still are-
- EMEd Mylett
Oh, I can help all the worriers. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
So for the worrier that's listening-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... that isn't even aware, Ed-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... of how much space worrying is taking up-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... you mentioned that you have a sense of peace that you haven't had before.
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
What's the first thing that you could do if you're lost in your mind, you're behind enemy lines?
- EMEd Mylett
I think the reason that I worry is my dad worried. And let me tell you the biggest reason why I stopped. I think with children, things are caught, not taught. I caught that from my old man, and I decided once I had my cardiac events that, um, I no longer wanted my children to catch this from me. I think very few people will make changes for themselves, but they'll make big changes for the people that they love. And this way you're being, this worrying you're doing, this ruminating of thoughts that don't serve you, just so you know, it doesn't just affect you. It's affecting your children. It's affecting your spouse. It's affecting everybody around you. There's a frequency to those thoughts, and it's reducing the frequency. See, my dad's drinking, there was a lot of things wrong with my dad's drinking. Obviously, there's abuse that comes with it, but you know the number one thing? I told my dad this once he got sober. I used to worry about my dad.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
I'd worry about him. Is he gonna come home? Is he gonna be in a car accident? Are Mom and Dad gonna get divorced? Is Dad gonna hurt himself? Is Dad gonna hurt anybody? So from the age of a little boy, I learned to worry about my dad. Those of you that are worrying, okay, not only is it affecting you, it's affecting everybody around you. This is picked up, it is caught. It's not taught, and you can't hide it. And so the first thing I would tell you is, if you won't do this for yourself, you need to do it for the people that are around you. And the, the technique to stop worrying is to actually look back on your life and realize that 99% of the things you worried about never came to fruition, were never as bad as you did. Worrying allows you to live through an event multiple times that even if it happened, should only happen to you once. So even the 5% or 1% of the things I worried about, Mel, that actually did happen, which I'm pretty sure I created them by worrying about them all of the time, I actually lived through them hundreds of times instead of the one time I had to. So I lived through it over and over and over again, and then it happened, and then I lived through it again. I used to think, "If I just worry about this enough, it won't happen, or when I get there, I'll be prepared." Turns out that's not true. If crap's gonna hit the fan, crap is hitting the fan, but I lived the bad events of my life hundreds of times, as opposed to just the one time when it actually happened. So not only did most of the stuff I worried about never happened, but when it did happen, it was hundreds of times my body, my spirit, my heart. Do you think it's by coincidence that this guy who worries all the time, who carries all this insecurities, heart broke down in his early 50s? My heart broke down. I physically think my heart just could not take any more stress. Right when I wake up, first question I ask myself, "What do I need to worry about today? What do I gotta get done? What's, uh, what, what could, what could go wrong today?" Now, ma- this is someone who millions of people listen to to better their lives. But if I'm being honest, I was always moving away, trying to get away from these worries, and I'm really happy to tell everybody that that can change and has changed for me. I, I worry from time to time. That guy rears his head every once in a while, but I know to slap him back now pretty good by feeding him the thoughts that do serve him and writing down the ones that are silly, and they lose their power over me.
- MRMel Robbins
That's the tool.
- EMEd Mylett
Yep, that's my tool.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, if you could literally go back in time and say, "Hey, dummy-
- EMEd Mylett
Write it down
- MRMel Robbins
... just write down all this stuff in your head, and you're gonna see in the piece of paper how stupid half this stuff is."
- EMEd Mylett
Um, not half, 98%.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- EMEd Mylett
98%, in my case, 98%. I'm a professional worrier.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs] Well, the best piece... The best thing about this advice is it's free. You take out a piece of paper.
- EMEd Mylett
That's right.
- MRMel Robbins
Just write all the stuff keeping you awake at night. Notice how dumb half of it is.
- EMEd Mylett
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And then do you write down the things you want to believe?
- EMEd Mylett
I do. I write down the things that I wanna believe, which, which for me is... I... Well, can I show you a prop on it?
- MRMel Robbins
Sure.
- 24:06 – 28:31
Stop Living in Stress
- EMEd Mylett
find a way to get my worry. We all have like five, six emotions that are our dominant emotions.
- MRMel Robbins
What are they?
- EMEd Mylett
Well, it's different for each people. So for me, I think my primary, uh, emotions are stress-
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
... worry, anxiety. Those were my dominant ones. B- And when I was younger, anger And so no matter what happened in a given week, I'll fi- And by the way, these emotions, when we have them, even if they don't serve us, we're gonna get them. Why? They're familiar. Our brains and our minds wanna constantly move to what's familiar because it conserves energy. So the key thing for me in my life is I'm gonna stop worrying about getting stuff. What are the things I want in my life to feel?
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
I wanna feel more peace. I wanna feel more ecstasy, joy, bliss. I wanna ha- have more optimism in my life, abundance in my life. And I've made those my intentions, and over time, I shifted what my lens delivers to me. And so now my lens doesn't always deliver to me the familiar. I used to brag, "I'm amazing under stress. Man, you watch me under stress, I'll function." And w- at one point, my wife goes, "Do you think that's because you constantly find a way to bring it into your life? No matter how good it's doing, you gotta find a way to get..." And I was like, "Gosh, you know, you're really right." So these emotions that may be familiar don't serve us. Here's the good news. Your past doesn't equal your future. Writing down the emotions you want and the ones that you're most familiar with is really an incredible process in your life.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, and we haven't talked about this.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
But I had a very similar revelation where if I were to list the dominant emotions that I would feel any week, I would say this would be in my late 40s, like peak misery, it would be anger and frustration, anxiety, fear, jealousy, and I kinda need six 'cause there was a lot of insecurity in there, but there was also this sense of I'm in it alone.
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, kind of that, like, I'm the, I'm on the outside, I have to do this on my own, nobody... Like, there, like, it's all on me.
- EMEd Mylett
How'd you change it?
- MRMel Robbins
I... You said that you either move toward the positive or you move away from the negative. If I use your thermostat example, which I'm just learning for the first time, what I would say is I got tired of freezing.
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Because I said to my- I don't wanna be this person.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And I'm not stuck as this version of myself, but there is absolutely nobody that's gonna do this for me, and there's nobody stopping me from changing either. And so I love the analogy of the thermostat because if you realize that you're freezing in your life-
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... using this imagination to dial it up and then asking yourself, "If I'm at a 75 or an 80 or a 90, what, what are those emotions that I'm gonna feel?" And you could start there.
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I think it's, it goes back to also one of the things that you said, that if you feel stuck or helpless in your life, go help somebody else.
- EMEd Mylett
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
Because just the act of helping somebody else, opening a door, smiling, saying a silent prayer, whatever it may be, volunteering-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... in your community, it gives you hope-
- EMEd Mylett
Yes
- MRMel Robbins
... that there's something more for you.
- EMEd Mylett
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And that's a very, that's like the dial going up and showing you-
- 28:31 – 35:24
Your Setbacks Can Become Your Strength
- MRMel Robbins
You know, I'm curious, Ed, you talked about your dad's sobriety.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Um, you also write about it in your number one blockbuster, The Power of One More.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
How did that impact you, your dad getting sober?
- EMEd Mylett
Uh, I, I think when you grow up with any dysfunction, divorce, stress in your home, yelling, drugs, alcohol, which I had the combo, um, not the divorce, my parents stayed married, uh, it, you carry a little piece of it with you all your life. I'm driving to a Little League game. My dad, who was an aggressive, I would even say, I think I can say in my father's honor because he became a beautiful, wonderful man in sobriety, my father was, I would even call him violent. And we're driving to a Little League game, I'll never forget it, Mel, and my dad's crying driving the car. I'm looking at my dad like, "What the heck? What's going on here?" Pulls the car over. He's still tearing up and crying and not looking at me, and then he turns to me when he says one more. It's why it, um, uh, it, it always stayed with me. He goes, "Eddie." I said, "Yeah, Daddy?" He goes, uh, "I'm gonna try to get sober one more time." And he looks at me and I said, "You are?" He said, "Yeah, son." And I said, "Dad, why would this be any different than the other times? You've tried a lot of times." And he goes, "Well, Eddie, I think sometimes in life you gotta give everything one more try." I think that's a huge lesson. Just because it hasn't happened before, you're one try away. And then he goes, I think this is the key to life, he goes, "Eddie," he never said this before this day, Mel, he goes, "I love you, and you deserve a dad you can be proud of. That's why I'm gonna try harder this time." What my dad did is he linked his love for me and my sisters and my mom to making this change and this decision, and I'm a believer that love is the most powerful of all emotions. It overrides fear. It overrides anxiety. It overrides stress. It overrides worry. If you wanna make one of these changes in your life, you've gotta link it to, to your love of someone else that you care about, your love for yourself or your love of God, and you link that. And if you could just truly make that connection, it will be bigger than your fear. But if you don't link it to something bigger than that fear, bigger than that worry, bigger than that, "I'm not good enough. What are people gonna think about me? What are they gonna say? I'm probably gonna fail again. I've always been average. I've always been ordinary. That's just who I am," if you don't link it to something bigger than that emotion, it's probably not gonna happen. My dad finally anchored it to the love of his family, and that love, thank God, was greater than that addiction, was greater than that desire to go do something that didn't serve him. But the crazy part, when my dad got sober, he came back from rehab. He looked good. I went, "Dad, are you never gonna drink again?" And he says to me... I'll never forget it, Mel. He goes, "I can't promise you that, son." And I remember feeling disappointed. He goes, "But Eddie, here's what I can tell you. I'm not gonna drink for one more day at a time." And my dad stacked up those one more days the rest of his life. Never had another drink, never used another drug. Why's that matter? You don't have to make huge, big decisions. You just gotta decide for today. My dad every day made this decision, "I'm not gonna drink. I love my family more than I want to drink." It doesn't have to be this huge, monumental thing. It's just today. It's just today. When my dad died, um, I woke up in the middle of the night one night crying. Surprised me, and my wife's like, "What's going on?" It's the fog of the night, and I'm like, "Uh, someone helped Daddy." She's like, "What are you saying?" And I said, "I just... I can't believe I never dawned on me before." I'm like 52 years old. I go, "S- my dad didn't get sober alone. Someone helped my dad," and by the way, the night my dad got sober, he was going to take his life. I remember we were at the church. The police were looking to find my father. He was gonna kill himself that night, and I said, "Someone intervened and helped my dad. They changed our whole family. They saved my dad's life. They saved our whole family. I'm probably kind of a speaker and a coach because of this person. They don't probably know I'm his son." The ripple effect of helping one human, my dad. I gotta find him, and I found him. I found the guy. I can't tell you everything about him because there's a... it's an anonymous program my dad was in, but God's got a funny sense of humor, humor. My name's Ed, not a cool name. My dad's name's Edward, not a cool name. My grandfather was Edward. This dude's name, Ed. God's just up there laughing at all of us, right? That's not the coolest part of the story, Mel. Here's, here's the cool part. What qualified this man to help my dad? What were his qualifications? You think he was a perfect resume? Never sinned? Never made a mistake? No. You know what his qualifications were? He was also a drunk. He had also been a drug addict. He had also been a liar. He also lived in the shadows. He had also carried shame the majority of his life. The reason that that qualified him is you're most qualified in life to help the person you used to be. We think in life that our biggest setbacks, our biggest mistakes, our divorce, our financial mistake, heck, it may not even be any of that, we just think we're disqualified because we've always been average. We've always been invisible. And nothing could be further from the truth. Those are the very things that qualify you to help somebody else. And living a great life may not be on Instagram or having your own show or having an island or a jet. It might be like in a really quiet moment when no one's watching, you're helpful. That man, by the way, was only sober 31 days the day that he helped my dad. So you don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have a whole big old plan. You don't have to know every single step. There's 12 steps in that program. This dude didn't even know what the fifth step was 'cause he hadn't done it yet himself. You don't have to have it all figured out. What you have to have is a heart that says, "I wanna help people, and I'm not disqualified because of my mistakes or my setbacks or my failures. In fact, those are the very things that do qualify me." [laughs] My dad went on to help about 4,000 people get sober himself 'cause you're most qualified to help those you used to be. You start to look at your life very differently. What if all of this stuff has happened to literally prepare me for this decision I'm about to make to change my life? That I'm not gonna hide from my failures or my screw-ups or my averageness or my invisibility. It's actually what qualifies me the most to do something great in my life, and that's to help other people, and that's what you were born to do. It's the greatest lesson of my life is watching this Ed help my precious Ed so that I'm actually here today with you hopefully helping one person as well. That's the ripple effect.
- MRMel Robbins
It is my most favorite thing that you say-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
... by far.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
You're most qualified to help the person you
- 35:24 – 39:58
How to Build Confidence
- MRMel Robbins
used to be.
- EMEd Mylett
It's true.
- MRMel Robbins
For the person who's listening that still is having trouble kind of believing that, what would you say to them?
- EMEd Mylett
Wow. That's the, that's the biggest question in the world. I, um, I, I will flip it on you. Then why else are you here? Then why else are you here? There's a reason that you're here. I'm, I'm really good at this because I've screwed up so many things in my life. I'm immensely qualified. You wanna talk about worry and screw up? I can do that. You wanna q- talk about screwing up financially? We can do that. You wanna talk about being a jerk? I'm qualified for that one too. Like, I can... Anger, whatever you want, pick a topic. I'm pretty much... I've messed it up. You know, the truth is, those times in your life where you have helped someone or you did encourage somebody, you feel so good about yourself. You feel at home. You f- you can't worry, fear, or stress in the moments when you've made a difference for somebody else. So you've already done this in your life, and you're a good person, and you don't give yourself enough credit for being a good person. I, I'll tell you a quick thing. My mentor in my life was Wayne Dyer. If you don't know who he is, my friend listening to this, you should go look him up. But I'm running on a beach in Hawaii. I'm 30, and I'm kinda, like, doing okay in life, and I'm running down this beach. It's like 6:00 AM. This guy's got no shirt on, and he's running towards me. It's a bald guy, but he's got a hairy back, and I'm like, "Ugh, I'm gonna have to bump into this dude." And I, I avoid him, and he runs by me, and I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, that was Wayne Dyer." Wayne Dyer would be like Mel Robbins right now.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, that's not true.
- EMEd Mylett
You-
- MRMel Robbins
Wayne Dyer-
- EMEd Mylett
If-
- MRMel Robbins
... are you kidding? Is like a legend. Didn't his... W- w- his book sold, like, 40 million copies or something?
- EMEd Mylett
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
Was it c-
- EMEd Mylett
So I think-
- MRMel Robbins
What is his book called?
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah. The Let Them Theory, I think. Um.
- MRMel Robbins
No. [laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
But anyway, pretty much w- pretty much Mel Robbins right now. So anyway, so he runs right... [laughs] I think you just described you. So he runs right by me, and I-
- MRMel Robbins
I don't have a hairy back
- EMEd Mylett
You do not have a-
- MRMel Robbins
I just waxed.
- EMEd Mylett
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
That's why.
- EMEd Mylett
Love it.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
So he, he... I t- um, we're wearing Sony Walkman. That's how long ago it was, and I take my Walkman off, and I go, "Dr. Dyer." And he stops, and he turns around. He's got his headphones. He goes, "Yeah?" I go, "You changed my life." And he goes, "I doubt that. I bet you changed your life, but how did I help?" That's what he said, and he walked towards me, and we sat on the beach. Can you imagine this? And we watched the sun come up together. But here's the lesson from the conversation. At the end of it, he goes, "Ed, you're gonna live a great life. Fact, I think you're gonna change the world." Now, at the time, I'm thinking, "He has definitely never said this to anybody else." [laughs] Looking back, he may have said that to everybody. He said, "Ed, the reason you're gonna have a great life and make a huge difference is you're a good man." And he stopped. He had blue eyes, very similar to my dad's. That was the first time, Mel, in my life, in 30 years at that time, someone gave me a compliment that I believed. He'd have told me I was talented or smart or... I didn't believe any of that. But he said, "I think you're a good man." I kinda believed that, and he goes, "I want you to always get your confidence from your intentions, Ed. You intend to do good. When you walk into a big speech, focus on your intentions to help. When you walk into a one-on-one meeting, I want that confidence to come from you remind yourself, 'I intend to g- do good. I intend to make a difference. I... My intentions are good.'" He goes, "You should beam with confidence over your intentions, Ed, not your ability." And I gotta tell ya, walking into the podcast today, any speech, if you asked me, "Hey, you're so smart. You're so this," I'd come in here really insecure. But I feed myself with my intention, and I would say, our friend listening to this, you know what? You can shift your confidence in an instant with your intentions. Remind yourself you are a good person. You do wanna make a difference. You do wanna help. You should be beaming with confidence because of your intention. No, I didn't know he was writing a book called The Power of Intentions literally at that time. But I have to tell you, I have walked through this life with all these insecurities and all these worries, but in the moments where I need it, I'm a pretty confident dude.
- MRMel Robbins
What's really cool about that story is he was previewing the lesson that you learned when your dad died.
- EMEd Mylett
That's... Wow. Shit. I never thought about that. You're right.
- MRMel Robbins
You are a good dude.
- EMEd Mylett
I never thought about that.
- 39:58 – 43:23
How to Take the First Step Today
- MRMel Robbins
What comes up for you when you think about that?
- EMEd Mylett
I, I wish I would have given myself a lot more grace in my life. So I did heed that lesson, like, in the big moments, like before a podcast or a speech or whatever, a business meeting or something, but not every day of, of my life, not the majority of me walking around with me. Me walking around with me. I wish I would've given myself a whole lot more grace every day of my life. Just remind myse- hey, you're a pretty good guy. Everything will be okay. And I didn't give myself that grace, and, uh, and e- as a consequence, I pr- I probably hurt m- people around me, probably hurt my friends. I'm sure all those relationships could've been a lot deeper had I been more present instead of worrying about all the things I was worried about all the time. So I d- I, I also just think of, like, I can't ever get one of those days back with my dad.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- EMEd Mylett
I would love to have just had more time with my dad and told my dad when he was here how much I love him, how proud I was of him, how much I cherished him, you know? There's so many times people we love, they just walk in a room, and you don't know when the last time they're gonna walk in that room is. We act like they're gonna keep walking in a room. My sister gave birth to twin identical boys about a year ago, uh, Cassius and Justice. Beautiful boys. And about an hour after, something happened with Cassius. Something wasn't good, and the doctors came in and grabbed him, and, uh, about an hour later they came back in and told us that he had passed. And, um, in fact, my sister named the twin that survived Justice because now it's just us.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- EMEd Mylett
We don't know how much time we have. Cassius got one hour. We all act like we're gonna get around to being happier. I'll get around to telling my dad how much I love him. I'm gonna get around to calling Mel and just saying, "Hey, are you okay?" I'll get around to it. I'll get around to giving myself some joy. I'll get around to having some peace. I'll get around to making that one memory in my life. I'll get around to it, until you don't. You don't know when the last time someone's gonna walk in a room that you love. You don't know when the last time is the last time. I should've just given myself the gift of fully enjoying it. Like, this is awesome, isn't it? Let's just take it all in, not like, where do I gotta go next? Well, what about this? You know what I'm saying? Just enjoy these moments.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes. Yes.
- EMEd Mylett
None of them that cost any money. None of the good ones have cost money It doesn't cost any money when my mom walks in a room. It doesn't cost any money to just have a great conversation with God alone. It costs nothing, and yet I'm waiting around to getting around, aren't we, in our life? And-
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you're not anymore
- EMEd Mylett
... I'm not anymore. It... Do it now. Do it now. Don't act like you've got forever. Like, right now, take some action on something we've talked about today. Like, now. Like, now. A small one. Take a step. Get some progress. Move the car a little bit. I can't teach you to drive a parked car. Get moving.
- 43:23 – 46:10
How to Stop Letting Criticism Hold You Back
- EMEd Mylett
Just do something.
- MRMel Robbins
You gave the most powerful tool on the planet, and I wanna make sure that as you're listening to Ed, that you really grab this and you start to use it. When you double down on your good intentions, it doesn't mean you're always gonna get it right.
- EMEd Mylett
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
It doesn't mean you're gonna succeed.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
It doesn't mean you won't inadvertently hurt people or piss 'em off 'cause you don't do what they expect. But if you know your intentions, and you know they're anchored in your values and doing the best that you can-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... and trying to be a good person, that is the single best and most powerful way to start to build confidence in yourself. And I, I have gotten to a point in my life where I used to be crippled by criticism, or crippled by what people might think, or crippled by public perception, or crippled by what are my friends gonna... And really knowing myself and my intentions has allowed me to move through life in a way where I know who I am, and I'm proud of myself, and I know why I'm doing what I do. And if people criticize me, they clearly don't know my intentions.
- EMEd Mylett
And that's the one thing. That's why I think a lot of people make a little bit of progress, and then the criticism comes, and they're like, "Okay, I'll shrink my dream. I'll shrink myself back to your small thinking."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes. This goes to the thermostat.
- EMEd Mylett
It does.
- MRMel Robbins
You start to feel the pressure from, "Are you sure you wanna, like, not drink?"
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
"Are you sure you wanna work on that business this weekend?"
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah, right.
- MRMel Robbins
"Are you sure you wanna go for that run instead of just hanging here with me and watching the game?"
- EMEd Mylett
Exactly. Yeah, who do you think you are?
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- EMEd Mylett
Like, oh, all of a sudden you're happy. Oh, now you're the fitness expert, huh?
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
And at some point in our, in a great life, you decide, "I will not shrink myself for your acceptance, because this life isn't about your acceptance. Your ac- it's my own acceptance. It's God's acceptance." You know the number one impact on your thermostat setting? Associations. If your five best friends eat really clean, you know, drink a bunch of water, take a walk every day, do some stretching, if that were the five people you were around, you're probably gonna be a little bit more fit, right?
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs] Yes.
- EMEd Mylett
So, so the number one thing that dials that thermostat down is who you're around. And so if you have to be around these people that don't serve you, you have to find a way that your self-worth is not connected to their approval, and it's a biggie.
- MRMel Robbins
It's like a snake shedding a skin.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That's why it feels really awful to step into a new chapter of your life, because there are parts of you that you're shedding.
- EMEd Mylett
Ooh.
- MRMel Robbins
And so I wanna go back to intention, because the more you know thyself, and you know your intentions, and you know the background, and you know what you've put into it, and you know why you're doing something, you're the only person's opinion that actually matters.
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah. I love the way you just said that.
- MRMel Robbins
It's so true. [laughs]
- 46:10 – 57:31
This One Habit Can Change Your Life
- MRMel Robbins
If you were to, you know, in the millions of people-
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... that you've coached and inspired-
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... and the mega bestseller that you've written-
- EMEd Mylett
Mm
- MRMel Robbins
... if you could recommend one habit that really has that domino effect for somebody, if they're listening to you and they're like, "Okay, you're right, Ed."
- EMEd Mylett
For me-
- MRMel Robbins
Yes
- EMEd Mylett
... it's moving my body early in the day.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- EMEd Mylett
It's just a really simple thing. When I move my body early in the day, that is a catalyst habit for me, because I don't like to do it. I've lifted weights for 35 years. I've enjoyed maybe seven of those days.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
But I've enjoyed walking out of the gym when I'm done almost every single time, once I've accomplished it. So to me, why's that matter? It's one of the few areas of my life I can control. I can't control whether someone shows up for the meeting. I can't control whether we close a sale. I can't control how somebody feels about something. I can't control... I can control that I got up and I moved my body. It gives me energy. It also says to me, I'm willing to do something most people aren't willing to do, so maybe I'm gonna get things most people aren't gonna get. So my catalyst habit is that. My new one, I'll give you my new one. My new one is writing. I don't like to write. I'm not a good writer, and I used to use that as an excuse. I'm not good at this. I'm not good at this. People use it as an excuse. So what? I have to get good at it, 'cause guess what happens when I write? It's a form of self-expression. I get things on paper that tell me, hey, what you're doing, that worry you have is completely dumb, and un- you're, you're wasting time on. It's not real. But it's also, like in our industry, because I've gotten better at writing, it's stimulated more prayer. It's stimulated more, uh, thinking of content, of things I can share on shows, things I can put in books. But that moment of peace with my, my cup of coffee in front of me, and I just write, and it's become for me, like, a great cathartic form of expression, of me just getting out of my head and onto this piece of paper.
- MRMel Robbins
How does writing create peace in your mind?
- EMEd Mylett
Okay, I'll tell you, for me-
- MRMel Robbins
And I want you to put me at the scene
- EMEd Mylett
... I'm just, candidly, I get up, and I get out of my bed, and I get on my knees, and I get on my knees, and it's usually between 30 seconds and three minutes, and it's just some prayer time. It gives me perspective. So I do that, and then for me, I go do my workout first, 'cause it's the thing I don't wanna do the most in the world. And then I get my cup of coffee, and I sit down, and I sit in the same spot. By the way, I think that spot, after you do it for a while, becomes a trigger.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
Becomes an anchor to a particular state of mind. So I do sit in the same spot, and I have my cup of coffee, and I begin to write. It's usually about 30 minutes, and my thing is I have to write within one minute. I have to put something on that paper. Some mornings it's a worry that I have, but it's gonna be on that paper within a minute, and I do do this now, I can honestly say, every day.
- MRMel Robbins
How has it changed your mindset and worry and anxiety, like this anchor practice?
- EMEd Mylett
It's a great release for me, and I actually just write to one person. So different days I pick different people. Some days I may be writing to me in my current state of life. Some days I'm writing to young me. Some days I'm writing to my children. I'm into this new thing where I observe people, and I'm in love with a particular person that I can't take my eyes off of, and it started about four years ago. I had a flight canceled, and I was stuck in a delay in the airport. My eye caught this woman. I probably can't get through this without telling you this, but I write to her a lot. I noticed her, and she, um, she was wheeling a trash can around, and she was picking up the trash around the airport and going in and cleaning the bathrooms, and I watched her, and I could not take my eyes off her. Remember, there's thousands of people walking around her, and I just started to think about her life. She looked to me to be in her late sixties. I just projected her life in my mind, but she got up that morning, probably in an apartment, probably by herself, and she got up in the dark 'cause that's when she gets up. She made herself a little breakfast. Her big hope for the day is maybe her kids will call.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- EMEd Mylett
Maybe her grandchildren will call her. And, uh, long ago she had dreams in her life, and just in my mind, this man she loved left. He left, and she stayed and finished raising those kids, and all these hopes and dreams she had for her life, they didn't all come together the way she hoped. She prays every morning. She loves God. She's never hurt a soul. She got up that morning, she got in her car in the dark, and she drove to a parking lot. She then has to get on a bus to get to the airport with a bunch of other people in there that maybe that day is not their dream day. No one says hello to her. No one acknowledges her. They give her a name badge. They assign her a trash can for the day. They send her off into the airport. And all day long, no one sees her. She's tired. She's weary. No one says hello. No one says I love you. No one says great job. Meanwhile, around her, everybody's on their way to their dream vacation, their big business meeting. They're chasing their dreams in their life. She goes her whole day invisible. At the end of the day, she brings her trash can back, puts the name badge on, gets back in her car, drives home, and she's just hoping her kids call. She's hoping her grandbabies might call her tonight. She's gonna get up and do that again. I thought how resilient she is. She doesn't complain. She just gets up every day and does what she can to make her life better. So like you would do or anybody would do, I just walked over, and you know what I found out, by the way? She's everywhere. She cleaned your hotel room this morning. She's a he today too. He got in a truck this morning to go somewhere to pay the bills for his family. Maybe he's not going exactly where he thought he was gonna be going twenty years ago, and he just wants his wife to be proud of him. He just wants to be his kids' hero, and he doesn't feel great about himself right now, and he wants to be happier, and he wants to... That's who I'm writing to now. I wanna tell him I love you. It's not too late. It's not over yet. You have value. You matter. You know, the hero of my family, Mel, isn't my dad, who I write about all the time. It's my mom. My mom's the one whose husband was gone many nights. She's the one who did homework with us, and I never knew anything was wrong. She's the one who went to bed most of those nights when my dad was out somewhere and still made us lunch for the next day, got up and made us breakfast, took us to school, made us feel safe. She got no credit for that, no credit, but she held our family together. She was the glue. A lot of these people are the glue in their family. They were the strength. They were the quiet person who held that family together the entire time. I wanna write to them. I wanna say to them, "It's not over. You matter. You're a good person. Good things come from you." People say, "It's too late. It's over. I didn't make it." In many people's cases, it may be a little bit from now before anybody really appreciates what you've done, but at some point, I promise you, the people that love you... It took me a long time to figure out my dad's not the hero of our family. It's my mom. She didn't make any of the mistakes. She didn't make any of the noise. She just loved us. She just served us every day quietly and got no credit. These are the heroes. These are the people that I wanna write to, to give hope to, to give the tools to.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- EMEd Mylett
And just to say, "Hey, I see you. You're not invisible. It's not too late. You're not disqualified. You're immensely qualified, and you're changing people's lives probably more often every day than you realize." And you don't earn your way into heaven. You just gotta get there, whatever you believe about that. But you earn the line of people waiting to thank you when you get there. And people like my mom and like Griselda, that was her name, uh, there's a long line of people that'll be thanking them someday. So I wanna write to them. I picture her a lot when I write.
- MRMel Robbins
What are you saying to her or, or to him, the guy driving the truck? What do you say to the person who's listening that really resonates with that? Because I could see myself in scenes of my own life.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
I could see my parents. I could see my grandparents.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- 57:31 – 1:02:30
You Were Born to Do Something Great
- MRMel Robbins
What are your parting words?
- EMEd Mylett
I just wanna remind you that you were born to do something great with your life. You were. Um, when I was a little guy, my grandfather would pick me up. My... Remember my dad's missing. My grandfather would pick me up, and he, he had this blue van. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
And my grandfather worked for The Boston Globe. He was a pressman, okay? And so he would pick me up on Sundays, and we'd go get donuts and pick 'em up for my other cousins, but I was the oldest cousin. So anyway, he'd pick me up, we're driving in the van, and I would just look at Papa, this big guy. And he would look down at me when he was driving. He'd go, "Eddie." I go, "Yeah, Big Papa?" He goes, "You're gonna do something great with your life." And I go, "I am, Big Papa?" He goes, "Oh, you're gonna do something awesome. You're my favorite. You're my favorite." And every time one of my cousins was born, he'd call me. He goes, "Oh, hey, Cousin Peter was born." And I'd start to feel kinda jealous. And he'd go, "Hey, don't tell anybody." I go, "What, Papa?" He goes, "You're my favorite." And I say that to you because if you had anybody in your life when you were a child who believed in you, anybody, your mom, your dad, a grandparent, a coach, whatever, they just looked at you. Remember them? You just felt special. You felt safe when you were with them. Remember that person? Most of you have that person in your life. My final message to you is that they were right. Maybe everybody else missed it, but they were right. They were right about you. And my challenge to you would be make them proud of you. Make them proud of you. If they're still here, you still have time to show them. If they're gone, honor them with the person you're becoming every day with the choices you make. Make them proud of your resilience. Make them proud of your toughness. And if you never had that person, I apply for the position.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EMEd Mylett
And I can promise you, whatever your faith beliefs are, God looks at you with so much pride, so much joy, so much belief, so much love, and there's time left for you.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- EMEd Mylett
There's time still left on the clock, and all these mistakes, all these setbacks, all these hurts, all the pain, all of those things were qualifying you to do something great because you are most qualified to help that person you used to be. And there's somebody somewhere who needs you so badly. Start looking for them. You're one person, one decision away from totally changing your life, so start looking for it.
- MRMel Robbins
Ed Mylett, I love you.
- EMEd Mylett
I love you.
- MRMel Robbins
I absolutely love you.
- EMEd Mylett
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
I am so proud of you, and I knew you as max out Ed.
- EMEd Mylett
[laughs] Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
I knew you pre-heart attack, and I gotta say, this is the best you ever.
- EMEd Mylett
Oh, thank you. Wow. [laughs] That means a lot coming from you, Mel, so thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
No, I mean it. Like, uh, the, I, I always felt the oozing goodness coming out of you.
- EMEd Mylett
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
But there is this expanded capacity and depth-
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... and way that you're showing up that is absolutely incredible.
- EMEd Mylett
Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
Life-changing.
- EMEd Mylett
Hmm. Thank you. I am here to help you help people and, um, that means the world to me coming from you. There's very few people, like we've both said, whose opinions matter, and, uh, yours matters very deeply to me. Thank you so much. I loved today. This exceeded my expectations, so thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, um, we went deep because that's the kind of friends we are.
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah. Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
And I also wanna thank you. Thank you for making the time and spending it with me and Ed. Isn't he just a treasure?
- EMEd Mylett
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
I hope you will share this with people in your life that you love. And you're gonna do something great with your life, and I know you are because you're gonna take everything that Ed poured into you to heart, and you are gonna use the tools, and you are going to continue to remind yourself that you're a good person and good things are gonna happen 'cause you're gonna make 'em happen. And in case nobody else tells you today, as your friend, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, and there is no doubt in my mind that everything that Ed shared with you was exactly what you were meant to hear at this exact moment in your life. So please just honor it as a blessing that was given to you. [gentle music] And thank you for watching all the way to the end. I really love being here with you. Wasn't that extraordinary? Thanks for being so generous with that, for being a subscriber. All right, I know because he just lit you up, you wanna watch another episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast. You're gonna love this one next, and I'm gonna welcome you in the moment you hit play. [gentle music]
Episode duration: 1:02:30
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