The Mel Robbins PodcastMIT Longevity Expert: Do These 3 Things Now to Stay Young, Live Longer, & Keep Doing What You Love
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
80 min read · 15,597 words- 0:00 – 4:58
Introduction
- MRMel Robbins
How prepared are people in general for facing the phase of life where your capacity to move through your life is starting to decline?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
The fact of the matter is, is that most of us plan for retirement, but we don't prepare for retirement. I want you to think about aging as an amazing gift of time. Retirement is not this short period of trip with the grandchildren to Disney. It's one-third of your adult life. A child born today, one half of them, it is said, are likely to live 100 years.
- MRMel Robbins
Wow.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
We don't know how to cash in the years we have. Let's make living longer, living better.
- MRMel Robbins
Dr. Joseph Coughlin founded and leads the Massachusetts Institute of Technology AgeLab. You brought along what looks like an astronaut suit, and it simulates what it can feel like to be the future you, who is 90 years old, trying to go through your day-to-day life.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
AGNES stands for the Age Gain Now Empathy System. The lab looks at things such as, how do we redesign our communities, not to be just friendly for aging, but to be age-ready. How do we plan for a longer, better life overall?
- MRMel Robbins
You say there are three questions every one of us needs to ask ourselves when it comes to how we think about aging.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
First one is, how are you going to get an ice cream cone? Do you know the little things that make you smile? Second thing, what are you going to do on any given Tuesday at 10:30? Now, at 10:30 on Tuesday, the average couple over age 65 watches upwards of four to five hours of TV per day.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, wow.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Third thing, do you have someone that you-
- MRMel Robbins
Before we jump in, and this episode is so extraordinary, it's gonna blow your mind. My team just showed me something that blew my mind. 57% of you who watch this channel are not subscribers. If that Subscribe button is lit up, would you please hit it? My goal is to get that number to 50%. It would mean the world to me, and it's the best way for you to say, "Hey, Mel," and, "Hey, Mel's team at The Mel Robbins Podcast, thanks so much for bringing me world-renowned experts for free. Thanks for showing up here on YouTube and helping you create a better life." By hitting Subscribe, you'll never miss a thing, and it's a way that we know you really love what we're doing here on YouTube. All right, thanks for doing that. You are going to love this episode, so let's jump into it. Please help me welcome Dr. Joseph Coughlin to The Mel Robbins Podcast.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It's great to be here, Mel. Thanks for having me.
- MRMel Robbins
I am so thrilled that you took time out of your busy lab over at MIT to come here today, and I am excited about your research. I would love to have you begin by speaking directly to the person who's listening or watching right now and tell me what could be different about my life. If I take everything to heart that you're about to share, and I apply it to my own life, and I really apply it to the people in my life that are getting older.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
What could be different? The big difference is that if you're prepared, if you can envision what you think that future's going to be, and please, it's not gonna be all about beach walks and pickleball and may- maybe even grandchildren. Those will be good punctuated moments, but hopefully, the things that we're doing with my team at the MIT AgeLab and the conversation that we'll have is about being prepared for the little moments, the things that make you smile, the ability to stay in the home that you love and want to be with, the ability to provide care. It's about building capacity to live your best life.
- MRMel Robbins
I know this is gonna be one of those conversations where if you are older, you're gonna feel seen. If you are in a caregiving role, you're going to feel supported, and you're gonna be given very specific things that you can do. And you have a real gift in terms of the way that you teach, and you have a way of making this topic that's hard to talk about and understand, in some ways, easier and more fun to think about, but you do it in a way that's very, very practical. And so I think one of the things that people are going to get out of this conversation is a whole new way to think about the people that they love and to think about the role that you have to play in your own life and aging and in supporting others as they do.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And Mel, I, I want everyone to give themselves a break. And what I mean by that is that not being prepared for old age is, is not an indictment. It's not like, "Oh my God, I didn't do my plan." Old age is quite new, the, w- in the context that we're living, how long we're living, the expectations, multiple generations alive at the same time. If you're caring for a loved one today, if you're aging, or you're planning to age, this is an entirely new world without a map.
- MRMel Robbins
So Dr. Coughlin, especially given the work that you do at the MIT AgeLab, how do you want us to think about
- 4:58 – 7:30
The 8,000-Day Life: How to Plan for the Next Chapter of Aging
- MRMel Robbins
age?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
I want you to think about aging as an amazing gift of time. So I want you to imagine zero, birth, to 21 years old. Let's just make it easy for a lot of people, drinking age. From zero to 21 is about 8,000 days. You know, be generous with the math, but it's about 8,000 days. From 21 to midlife crisis, classically 46, 47 years old, 8,000 days. And from 46 to 47 to that Newtonian law of physics of retirement, 65, is 8,000 days. But most people don't know that the fastest-growing part of the population, worldwide, by the way, is 85 plus. And 65 to 85 and change is 8,000 days. So if I take zero to 21, I'll just call that gently, push that off to the side, call that childhood, or if you're a parent, expensive, across to the, you know, off to the side. All of a sudden, retirement is not this short period of trip with the grandchildren to Disney. It's one-third of your adult life. It's a full 8,000 days.
- MRMel Robbins
I love that 8,000-day framework because when you think about your own life, especially looking backwards-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
Whether you're going 0 to 21 or 21 to 46 or 46 to 65 or 65, you know, to 80, whatever, there are so many different versions of you in each one of those 8,000-day segments of your life. And we do, especially as you get older, just kind of think, oh, well, now you're just in that bracket. And I think it's very hopeful and exciting to recognize that whether you are in the 0 to 21 or 21 to 45 or 45 to 65-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... or 65 to 80 or 80 and up, that you have all of these different slices of life and future versions of yourself that you are going to get to experience, and a lot of what we're gonna learn today from you will fundamentally shift your mind and perspective about those future versions of you that will experience a decline in capacity, potentially, as you age.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And that notion of future you, what, you know, Mel, what you and I will be able to do is to put questions in people's minds to help them navigate basically an entirely unknown land. There's really no map for that older age other than, you know, did you save enough money, and are you gonna take a cruise ship? There's-- Life is so more complicated th- than that overall, and those questions will start conversations.
- MRMel Robbins
You say there are
- 7:30 – 11:30
3 Questions to Ask Now to Plan a Longer, Better Life
- MRMel Robbins
three questions every one of us needs to ask ourselves when it comes to how we think about aging.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
The three questions, not necessarily in this order. First one is, how are you going to get an ice cream cone? Sounds really silly, but it's got a number of dimensions to it. When we plan for older age, we tend to think about what do we wanna do in older age? Well, I'm gonna travel, spend time with family. Uh, there's so much to do around the house, I'll never get bored. Mel, do you remember COVID?
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs] Yeah.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
We found, we, we found something out about COVID. Except for the travel part, we found out that, A, all those hobbies you thought that were gonna keep you busy, and painting the spare bedroom three times was gonna keep you busy for a lifetime, got boring real fast. And secondly, we found that our significant other got tired of seeing us significantly 24/7.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And, and, and so the first question is, how are you gonna get an ice cream cone? Do you know the little things that make you smile? Not that we're gonna take the kids to Disney, not that, uh, uh, you know, we're gonna maybe, if you're one of those folks, to downsize, those big monumental moments. Longer life or life at any stage is about the little moments.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And so do you know the little things that make you smile? So for me, I want you to imagine it's a hot summer night. I want a soft serve. I want a spiral. I want a chocolate and vanilla. The other side of that question is not do you know the little things that make you smile, but do you have access to them? 70% of Americans over the age of 50 live where if you don't drive, you don't get out. And an ice cream cone is one of those things on a hot summer night you want at the spur of the moment. You don't book a ride. You don't bother an adult daughter. You may not ch- call up a neighbor. You just want it. The peepers are out. It's a hot summer night. You want it now. So do you know how you're gonna get ice cream cone? Second thing, what are you going to do on any given Tuesday at 10:30? Sounds really crazy, right? But when we think about retirement planning, old age planning, we think about the big things that we're going to do. I've got so much I'm gonna do. But you know, believe it or not, research, can you imagine somebody got money for this, did research and found out that Tuesday apparently is the most boring day of the year. Look, most of us don't wanna have breakfast with anyone. Just give me my coffee and leave me alone. The bottom line is, is that by 10:30 in the morning, all of a sudden you now need to structure your life, whether it was work, family, children. Frankly, if you're no longer a caregiver, you had structure, you had things to do. Now at 10:30 on Tuesday, the average couple over age 65 watches upwards of four to five hours of TV per day.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, wow.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So that notion that we're all gonna be cruising and doing all this fun stuff, again, not totally incorrect, but there's a lot of Tuesdays out there. Third thing, third question, if you will, who's gonna change your light bulbs? Sounds, again, really silly, but I want you to start making a list. And, and, and, and, and I want, I want that person who's listening to me right now, start making a list of all the things that you take for granted, that you do every day, maybe for yourself, for your spouse, your partner, or for a loved one. Taking out the trash, making a meal, changing a light bulb. And look, as a guy, I do have to confess that I do wanna climb the ladder and change a light bulb. I am likely to fall and break my hip because my wife's gonna be at the base of the, uh, uh, ladder saying, "You're gonna fall and break your hip." And that will be the thing that takes me down. But here's the thing I want you to think about, because when things break, you need redundancy. So that person that's gonna change your light bulbs, it's not just whether you have the money to do that. In fact, that, in many ways, that's the easy part. Do you have someone that you trust, someone that would go into your mother's home, she's 85 years old, cognitively not as sharp as she used to be? You could write the check, perhaps. Do you have somebody you trust to go in there by themselves? Is it somebody that your mother's going to accept? Do you have somebody who's gonna check on her? If you don't call home or call a friend, who's gonna call back to make sure everything's okay? And frankly, I'll throw one other
- 11:30 – 15:03
How to Build a Strong Social Life and Prevent Loneliness as You Age
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
in there, and we can talk about this. Who are you gonna have lunch with? And that is the social question. That is the, the question about how big is your social, we'll make, we'll make it geeky, social network. Frankly, how many friends do you have? And how well those friends come together is frankly, in many ways, a bigger predictor of how well you'll age. Some really great research done by Joanne Halonsted suggests that do you know that being lonely or social isolation has the physical health impact of smoking 11 to 15 cigarettes per day? So it's not about, oh, gee, you're lonely, it's emotional. Yeah, it's all that. But it's also about hypertension, depression, and everything else.
- MRMel Robbins
How many friends do you need?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Generally speaking, we only have maybe one, two, and if you're really wealthy, and I mean wealthy in the social sense, three friends. And, and, and these are the folks that have your back.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
When something happens wrong at 2:00 in the morning, when a loved one is critically ill, they're the ones who support you overall. And then I added friends under development, because as I remember a woman I was interviewing in Chicago said to me, only a few years ago, and I was asking her about her social connection, and she leans over, and I think she was, uh, 82. She leans over and she says to me, "Son," which if you look like this, being called son-
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... is a pretty cool thing. She goes, "Son, at my age, there's a natural attrition to friendship." You don't think about that, but over time... And it's not just the existential, you lose friends due to death or disease, but they move on.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
They move away. And many people are gonna hate me for saying this, but grandchildren actually hurt your friendships. Because what you used to do on a Friday night to go out to have dinner or a movie is like, "Oh, no, I'm gonna babysit," or, "I can't wait to see baby Joey," or, you know, whatever it might be. Those are great things, but you need to start thinking of your friendships as a portfolio. Indeed, I like to call it a social portfolio. We worry about our wealth portfolio, but think about your social portfolio. How robust, how rich is it overall?
- MRMel Robbins
I wanna stay on that grandkids really impact your friendships as you get older as an adult.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Because one of the things that I've noticed, just as my own parents are getting older, my mom is in her late 70s, my dad in his ear- is-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... in his early 80s, is I have seen the friendship attrition that you're talking about.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And I've seen how they used to have this big group of people that they hung out with. And as they've gotten older, and certainly as people have died, or people have moved away-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep
- MRMel Robbins
... or people have stopped making the long drive down to Florida for the month, in a cold winter month-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep
- MRMel Robbins
... their friend group has started to completely evaporate. What was once 20 couples they hung out with is now two.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I also hear what you're saying about how when your family starts to grow, which is a wonderful thing-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Sure
- MRMel Robbins
... whether it's with son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, or it is with kids, or it is grandkids, it's a wonderful thing, but you tend to then focus in on prioritizing family, which is very important, and you forget about the importance of the social network that's your age that you also still need.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So, really, this older age is about time, and structure, and connection more than anything else.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, that brings me to the work that you're doing
- 15:03 – 20:38
Inside the MIT AgeLab: The Future of Aging, Technology, and Independence
- MRMel Robbins
at the MIT AgeLab that is so revolutionary and profound. Because you have created a way for us to go there, and to not just try to imagine what it's gonna be like, but to truly experience the impact of aging. I would love to hear you just explain to the person listening or watching right now, what is the work that you're doing at MIT? And you brought along what looks like an astronaut suit, complete with a helmet, that I am gonna call the astronaut aging suit, that you put people in, and it simulates what it can feel like to be the future you, who is 90 years old, trying to go through your day-to-day life, and it really just hits you right in the gut.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And, and I think that kind of frames up best what the MIT AgeLab is. Look, I, I have the privilege of being here to speak with you, but the AgeLab is made up of, of, of 30 really gifted researchers and students that do the work. I get to talk about it. And look, while we are attentive to nutrition, and exercise, and things like that, what we really look at is, where does design, technology, and human behavior come together to rethink where you're going to live? What is the future design of communities? What does the future of the vehicle, the car look like? How will you receive care? So we're on the physical side of, of doing. And so the, the lab looks at things such as, what is the future of transportation? How do we redesign our communities, not to be just friendly for aging, but to be age ready? Caregiving. How do we actually provide care to loved ones, and how do we receive care? And much of what w- we will be speaking about, longevity planning. How do we not just plan for our financial security? How do we plan for a longer, better life overall? And then probably the other main area that we like to work on is the multigenerational workplace. Do you remember when the workplace was there are younger workers and there are older workers? Imagine this. We now have not one, two, three, four, or five, we have upwards of six generations in the workplace, shall we say, a, a, a, uh, uh, generational kinetics of expectation, how we work, what, what we do, and, and the like in the workplace. So longer life longevity changes everything, and the AgeLab is about trying to redesign the systems to support living longer and better.
- MRMel Robbins
And they also happen to have a profound impact on the systems in your mindset-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yes
- MRMel Robbins
... that have you not be able to predict what it's going to be like for you as you age, and to also have you not understand what the people that you love are going through right now as they are aging. And you have this astronaut aging suit.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs] AGNES.
- MRMel Robbins
AGNES.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And what does AGNES stand for?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
AGNES. We love acronyms at MIT. So AGNES stands for the Age Gain Now Empathy System.
- MRMel Robbins
Dr. Coughlin's brought his team. The suit is hanging outside.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And I'm gonna try it on, and I will narrate step by step by step what's happening. I will do my best to explain what I am feeling in real time as I am experiencing the MIT AgeLab simulation-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Right
- MRMel Robbins
... of the way that aging can compromise your capacity to move-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... to pick things up, to see, to do the simple things day to day. And I am really excited, 'cause I think this is gonna-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... have a profound impact on me and you, whether you're listening or watching.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And, and, and it's aging, and it's, it's the, uh, more about the health conditions that kinda correlate with aging quite often, so diabetes, arthritis, diminished vision function. But Mel, one of the things I think you're gonna experience, as do my students in the companies we work with, is the aha moment, which is, yeah, we interview older adults. We watch them in the wild. We're kinda creepy. We watch in the house, the car, the store, uh, in the home, whatever it might be. But it's when you wear the suit that you kinda, like, get it. It's like, "Why is this more difficult than it should be?" Because as a designer, as an engineer, you say, "That's not acceptable. I can change the material. I can change the design. I can make it better." So just so you know, Mel, and, and for all the listeners, you may hear some, like, tearing and clinking and clanging.
- MRMel Robbins
What?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It's gonna be Velcro-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... weights and some belts. So we promise we'll be, we'll be gentle, Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
But that's the sound of the suit going on.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
That's the sound of the suit going on.
- MRMel Robbins
All right. So Dr. Coughlin, we're going to walk outside the studio where the AGE suit is.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
This is the first time we've ever filmed and recorded a part of the podcast outside of this studio.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Oh, wow.
- 20:38 – 31:58
What Aging Feels Like in Your Body: Mel Tries MIT’s AGNES Aging Suit
- MRMel Robbins
I see this suit. It almost looks like I'm gonna go into a spaceship.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah. It, it looks like... Well, frankly, if you think about it, aging is an extreme environment. It's not for wimps.
- MRMel Robbins
Uh-oh.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs] So-
- MRMel Robbins
But we're all forced into it.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Uh.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. So I'm just gonna put that on?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
No. You're gonna wait.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, shoot.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Now, my colleague Lauren Sereno here is going to help you. Uh, she'll say-
- MRMel Robbins
Hi. How are you?
- SPSpeaker
Hello. Lauren. Good to see you.
- MRMel Robbins
You guys have, like, actual... She's wearing a jacket, if you're listening to this, that has the lab-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
E- exactly
- MRMel Robbins
... emblazoned on it.
- SPSpeaker
Yes. Yes. Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
That's great.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
The-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. So here we go.
- SPSpeaker
Um, so I'm gonna start by having you take off your shoes.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. Is the first test-
- SPSpeaker
If you don't mind
- MRMel Robbins
... that I have to balance while I do this? [laughs]
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs] And that's without anything.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. I'm sitting down on the chair to take my shoes off-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
There you go
- MRMel Robbins
... and now I'm regretting the fact that I wore stylish jeans that have no stretch in them.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It'd be a lot harder if you were dr- wearing a skirt, so this works. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
That's true. Okay. Here we go. I'm pull... I'm already having trouble, and I don't have the suit on.
- 31:58 – 33:56
Everyday Tasks and Aging: Carrying Laundry, Bending Down, and Fall Risk
- MRMel Robbins
petulant grandson.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs] So we're gonna do some just basic everyday things.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So let's go for a walk. I want you to step around the cones.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Pretend you're just basically going around your house.
- MRMel Robbins
In this suit-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... you just feel-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
That's it
- MRMel Robbins
... a little, like-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Your balance is o-... Oh, wait.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You got daily activities. You got some laundry to pick up here.
- MRMel Robbins
I don't wanna pick it up.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
I, 'cause it feels-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Is that why it's been s-
- MRMel Robbins
... like it's gonna be hard. That's why it's sitting there
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... that's why it's been sitting there for a while, so. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
Now I'm, like, feeling friction, because why am I the one-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Okay
- MRMel Robbins
... that's picking this thing up? Oh, my God. Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Okay. So we're gonna keep walking.
- MRMel Robbins
Whoa. Oh, my... So, okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Walk around the co- oh, wa- wait.
- MRMel Robbins
Now I'm walking around cones.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You know those missing socks that are always missing? They're right there.
- MRMel Robbins
There are socks on the floor.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- 33:56 – 38:00
Climbing Stairs as You Age: Strength, Balance, and Fear of Falling
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
There is a strong lo- philosophy out there, is like, everyone should live on a one-floor home. Perhaps. But remember, those stairs also become, shall we say, exercise.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You never wanna make a life so easy that you lose all the friction, because that friction is what's giving you a little bit of muscle mass. It's giving you a little bit of, you know, activity, if you will.
- MRMel Robbins
Gotcha.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Now, that said, let's do the stairs.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, let's do the stairs. Okay. Here we go.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And you know, here's just one of those daily activities-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, my gosh
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... that becomes a little bit, you know-
- MRMel Robbins
Daunting
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... yep.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
I would use the railing.
- MRMel Robbins
I'm definitely gonna use the railing.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Frankly, everyone of any age should use the railing.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, my lord. I... These bungee cords that are around my waist attached to my wobbly Crocs make every step, like, super deliberate. I mean, I'm not even injured. I feel like I'm injured.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And, and you can feel how the rise in the stairs are just, you know, sometimes a little bit more challenging than you expected.
- MRMel Robbins
I feel this in my hips.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, my lord.
- SPSpeaker
Turn around now.
- MRMel Robbins
Yep. Let me get to the landing so I'm stable when I turn around.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Down is often harder on your knees than going up.
- MRMel Robbins
So, it is very daunting to go downstairs. The Crocs are wobbly. The bands just kinda remind you that your legs are there, so something that you took for granted, you now have to think about every single step that you take.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And your vision should be distorting a little bit of your depth of field.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, it is.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
All of a sudden, when the world starts to get, have a little bit more friction, whether it's going up or down stairs, suddenly you're like, "You know, I might want to go downstairs, make a cup of tea, or make breakfast or something like that. I just don't feel like it right now. So I think I'll stay in the bedroom and watch TV a little bit longer."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So suddenly now, what was once a very large world in your youth starts to compress and get smaller, because the physical environment is not adapting to what you're doing.
- 38:00 – 42:08
Why Chairs, Cars, Toilets, and Other Everyday Tasks Get Harder With Age
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
think you're about ready for a rest.
- MRMel Robbins
I am ready to sit down.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So why don't we have... Why don't you take a seat over here?
- MRMel Robbins
You know, one of the things that's also happening is I just keep expecting the suit not to be here, and I, you know, I'm like trying to move through it, and I just feel this sense of like, "Fuck it," like, you know, resignation. Like, "Okay, this is just how it is."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It's just another day.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, my God. Okay, this chair's really low.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Well, and here-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, okay. Whoa
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... here's a little e- here's a little e-
- MRMel Robbins
And it's back.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Well, exac-
- MRMel Robbins
How the hell am I gonna get out of this?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Well, that's part of the challenge. I mean, this is the little things that people forget about. As we age or we think about our parents aging, "I'm gonna get them a nice comfortable chair," or, "I'm gonna build an office where it's nice and comfortable, low, soft chairs."
- MRMel Robbins
Just three weeks ago, I was visiting my parents in Florida, and we went to a furniture store.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And I sat down in this chair, and I thought, "Oh, my God. This chair is so comfortable. It's amazing."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I said, "Hey, Mom, sit down in this." And my mom, who is in great shape, sat down, and she's like, "I couldn't sit in this." I said, "Why?" She goes, "It's too low. It's too hard to get out."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah, exactly.
- MRMel Robbins
And I thought, "Oh, for God sakes." And now I'm thinking, "I'm such a jerk."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And, and think of the little friction points you take for granted. So you're talking about the chair, right? Getting in and out of the car. And we work with the auto industry about getting in and out of the car is more than the battle of driving the car. How about going to the toilet? A low toilet-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, my gosh
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... good luck getting back up.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, tha- that's hard enough for any of us, but I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it is when you walk in and you see a toilet that low and you think, "Uh-oh, here we go."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
All these things need to be re-engineered for the society that is coming, not the society that we used to be.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, I think what needs to be re-engineered immediately is just your attitude toward the people that you care about-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... that are getting older, and your attitude and patience level-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... with people that you encounter every day in your life, the person who's, might be taking a little too long in front of you in the line, the person that's driving a little slower because they're hesitant. I, I... It just, it's, it's just so striking the friction that you feel. And, you know, I... For the first couple moments in this suit, I'm like, "Okay, I can get through this. We're gonna..." Like-
- 42:08 – 54:31
Technology and Aging: Why Phones Become Harder to See and Use
- MRMel Robbins
a pain.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So you want to phone home?
- MRMel Robbins
I'd love to call my husband and tell him-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
... to get me out of this aging suit. Okay, so here's my phone. My vision is compromised. I don't have... I even have the giant font on my phone, everybody.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
So I'm supposed to call Chris now? Text Chris, okay. Let's see here. Okay. I can... You know how I can tell it's him?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
How?
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause there's, I thi- there's his blurry photo.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
And thankfully, he's on my favorites. And if you're listening, I want you to know the phone is approximately two inches from my face. I can't... I just typed the words "Hi." And I can't make out the H and the I, but I know that that's what that is. Okay, hi. I'm gonna do the little emoji that's popping up.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So why don't you send him a photo as well?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, I probably should since he doesn't know what age suit is.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You sure you sent it to Chris and not somebody else? [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
It wouldn't be the first time that I mis- Okay, here we go. Okay. Well, I can't reach... Oh, okay, this sucks.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
I'm trying to take a photo in the AGE astronaut suit, everybody, and as I... You know how you have to hold up the phone, like with a selfie? Now I'm trying to reach forward to hit the button in the center, 'cause none of my grandkids taught me that I can do it on the side, so now I look like an idiot in front of everybody.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
We need a spare Gen Z or millennial-
- MRMel Robbins
Yes
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... to do it for us.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. So I'm gonna hit this button. Here we go. I, I'm faking a smile 'cause this is awful. [laughs] Okay. There we go, Chris. Now let's see if I can get this to him. Oh, I don't know what that means. I, I don't know what the buttons are. Okay, hold on.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah, you have to go A before enter.
- MRMel Robbins
There he is. Thank God for the photos. There we go. I just sent it to him.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So if you think about these technologies, the way they're designed, they're designed primarily for younger fingers, younger eyes and whatnot, but they're vital to our connection, and we are now more, shall we say, connected by high tech than we are with high touch. So all of a sudden now that was more important than just the interface. It was about how you stay connected, not just with your husband, but w- everyone else.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you can also see how you would lean back and opt out from tech, because it feels overwhelming, and if nobody's there to help you really assimilate it into your life, you just sorta opt out, and then we make fun of somebody for not being with the times or not knowing the trends or not understanding.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And so you can see how somebody would just slowly back away from wanting to be in touch with everybody.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah, 'cause you don't wanna feel that you're incompetent on something. But I have to tell you, a- at, at the AgeLab, you know what we call technology that's hard to use, hard to see-
- MRMel Robbins
No
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... and difficult to understand? Bad technology.
- 54:31 – 1:02:57
Are You Ready to Live to 100? Take the Longevity Preparedness Test
- MRMel Robbins
back in the studio, and everybody on the team, Dr. Coughlin, has come up to me since th- doing the suit and just said, you know, "What was that like? Holy cow."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
"It was unbelievable to see you do that." And I really did feel like my grandmother.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Is it a perfect simulation? No. But it's close enough to give you that aha for your grandmother, or frankly, the way my students or researchers in the companies we work with, is to give them a sense of what it's like to walk in that consumer's shoes, whether it's senior living, the drugstore, frankly, just going out to eat.
- MRMel Robbins
I have to ask you, h- how prepared are people in general for facing the phase of life where it's retirement or your capacity to move through your life is starting to decline?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
The fact of the matter is, is that most of us plan for retirement, but we don't prepare for retirement. It sounds like a word game. I don't mean it to be. I want you to think about this. Planning is much like a grocery list. It, it's the intent to eat. Uh, but anyone who's in charge of shopping, shall we say, we know that until it's in the cart, in the cabinet, or frankly on the plate, you're not eating, and that's the preparedness. The preparedness part is, are you, uh, aware of the things you need to do? Are you giving it a little attention? Then ultimately, are you taking action? And so bottom line is we are not prepared very well at all.
- MRMel Robbins
And what do you want us to know about what's actually possible?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Think about this. The 30 extra years we have gained in longevity since the year 1900, that's a dividend to be cashed in, not something to be wallowing, uh, sadness about. So what I want people to think about is that the, the joy that they can, uh, achieve, the, the daily moments, but more importantly, being prepared is not just about being, you know, good rational person. It's also an act of love, an act of love for yourself, an act of love for those that you, that you love and the like.
- MRMel Robbins
For the person who's in the state that I am in, all of my friends are in right now, we're all talking about it. We're trying to gently open the door and have the conversation. I'm grateful that you're here-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... 'cause this episode is a wonderful way to open the door. But what's one step that the person listening or watching can take to start having this conversation about setting somebody up to age well and have all these components in place so that you can?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You know, for the, the most important technology out there is the conversation. It's not a app. It's not a gee whiz. It's not genetics or space travel. It really is the conversation. And one of the things I want you to think about, I want everyone to think about is that we do not have a story for old age. We have a story that old age is somewhere between cruises and crutches, uh, and, and we forget all the chapters in between. And so my team at the MIT AgeLab did some awesome work with our partners at John Hancock to develop a map of what longevity's going to be like. You know, in fairness, we've never had a generation of people living this long, with this high of expectations, with not just one generation caring for another. You know, we all talk about the sandwich generation. The heck with that. There's no sandwich generation. We have a panini generation now because people in their 60s are caring for parents in their 80s and 90s. And by the way, that 40-something-year-old mom with kids and working full-time is worried about the 60-year-old as much as she's worrying about the grandparents. So suddenly, this is new. We've, we've always had older people, but not with this much time and expectation. So we created this idea of a longevity preparedness index.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And so we pooled all this research from around the world and stuff we've been doing at the lab for 25 years, and we found eight different dimensions to start that conversation that we're talking about.
- MRMel Robbins
And we're gonna go through the longevity preparedness index. There are eight different stages.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Eight dimensions. All right. So let, let's, let's look at those eight dimensions. First one is the obvious one, and, and certainly with, with Agnes, you can appreciate this, is the health-related issue. Are you pursuing behaviors and nutrition that makes sense? Finance. Hey, when you think about old age and retirement, basically the entire world has you believing it's either health or it's wealth.
- MRMel Robbins
That's true.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So-
- MRMel Robbins
That's all you think about, health and wealth
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... tho- those are, those are the bookends. But think about all those chapters in between. So finance is certainly an important part.
- MRMel Robbins
And, and those are just the first two. So first one is health, second one is-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And then it's finance
- MRMel Robbins
... finance. And now what are the other six?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
And, and by the way, this is not priority, but this just, the list. I know you're interviewing me, but I'm gonna ask you the question. What's the most important number in your old age?
- MRMel Robbins
I don't know.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It's not your 401 [k] balance. It's not your blood pressure, your cholesterol, or even-
- MRMel Robbins
Is it the number of people I'm living with?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Actually, it's your zip code. Your zip code predicts everything from the access to the people that you love, the things that you need, to that ice cream cone that we were talking about. In fact, do you know that studies have been done that shows that zip codes right next to each other can mean 9 to 13 years difference in your longevity overall?
- MRMel Robbins
Really?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
So the third dimension is community. Choose well. Choose where you live.
- 1:02:57 – 1:09:27
Caregiving for Aging Parents: How to Discuss Housing, Health Decisions, Finances, and Who Will Provide Care
- MRMel Robbins
who's listening, and you're part of the 70% of people-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Who have not had the conversation
- MRMel Robbins
... who have not had the conversation, or you've tried and it got nowhere, what is the best first step, Dr. Coughlin, to begin the conversation?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
I would cut it down to, shall we say, some simple, uh, uh, questions overall. You have a conversation, multiple, 'cause there's no one and done, this is gonna continue, about who, where, what, and how. So the who part is, you know, kind of gently go into who's gonna provide care? Who, who do you think is going, uh, going to provide care? Who's going to help with the, the hands-on caregiving we, we, we're talking about overall? But there's another side of who. A lot of us have somebody to care for us for medications and dressing and-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... around the house, but also who's gonna make the decisions? Who do you want making decisions if you can't any longer? So those are two different conversations that need to be had gently over time, but they need to be had. How about the where? When it comes time for caregiving, where do you want that care to happen? Do you want home care? Do you wanna come live with your f- uh, uh, adult children? Do you wanna be in senior living? What, what are, what are the values, if you will, about the where? And by the way, the, the what overall is, and this is the hard, hardest conversation, what matters? How about dignity? What, what, what are you willing to put up with to either maintain your life, extend your life, and, and the like? And then there's the obvious question that everyone goes to at first, the how. How do we pay for this? How are the mechanics? So when we have the conversation, it's multiple. It's who, where, what, and how.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, Dr. Coughlin, when you talked about this Longevity Preparedness Index, and you found after doing this massive study-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep
- MRMel Robbins
... um, and you discovered that the area where people are the least prepared is caregiving-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yep
- MRMel Robbins
... that 70% of us have not even had the conversation yet, and that based on the research and common sense, it tends to fall based on catastrophe to the oldest daughter.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
Do you have insight into why is it the eldest daughter that always tends to be the one that the caregiving falls to?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Look, i- i- it's unfair. It's not about gender. It's not about biology. It's, it's about role. And traditionally, across cultures, uh, women tend to be the caregiver. Um, look, uh, I don't want to indict my, my gender of guys. Uh, we will clean your gutters. We may help you with your finances. Uh, I'll take out your trash. Generally speaking, and I said generally, so please don't, you know, get all excited there. Generally speaking, it will be the older adult daughter that's gonna help you when you need to get dressed. So it tends to be a role there. But I have to tell you, while caregiving has great joys and rewards, and you hear caregivers say after the loved one has passed, it was the most important, most im- uh, thing they've ever done. There is a cost. It's physical, it's emotional, and indeed, it's also financial. And she is more likely to pay for it than anybody else.
- MRMel Robbins
I think this is one of those conversations that people are gonna listen to and be moved by and then share it inside their family. If the person that's listening right now got this sent to them by somebody in their family, what do you want them to know in terms of the invitation that's here right now about your role to play, whether it's in your own aging or it's in your role to play related to how somebody in your family may be aging?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You know, there, there are a few things, and my team at the MIT AgeLab has a, uh, a panel of caregivers. Uh, we call it CareHive. So several thousand caregivers around the world that we, we tend to, um, ask them about those micro moments o- of caregiving. And when my team came up with the idea, I did not, uh, wanted to do it. I said, "Really, guys? These people are busy, they're stressed, and you wanna hammer them with focus groups, surveys, whatever?" One of the things that we learned- The caregivers wanted to participate. 'Cause here's a question no one ever asks the caregiver: how are you doing? Not just the loved one that they're caring for, but how are you doing? And so that little study that's ongoing, asking people not just what you're doing, but how you're doing. So one of the things to think about is make sure that you're asking how they're doing, and helping them care for themselves. Because the cost, as I mentioned, is the physical. Do you know that, uh, caregivers are more likely to express fatigue, headache, uh, and like emotionally, depression, feeling alone. And financial, and this is the really hard work that, that, that we've been doing with the financial services industry, women are more likely to either step out of a job entirely because they're having to care for a loved one full time, or not take a promotion because the promotion may have travel, and I've gotta make sure I take care of Mom overall, or because of the financial cost of caregiving, even if that loved one has finances, is gonna set her back. So women efent- effectively have a, a triple threat. They're caring for others. They're jeopardizing their own finances, which means that when, by the time the third, they get to their own old age, they are not prepared for their own old age.
- MRMel Robbins
I hadn't even thought about the financial impact. Because even if you're caring for somebody who's aging who has their own money-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... if it's compromising your ability to make money.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
One in four families in the United States, and even more so in Europe and the like, provide upwards of 25 to 29 hours a week for caregiving. If you're over 50, one in three families are providing upwards of 25 to 29 hours a week for caregiving. This is a personal issue that should be a public problem, a public discussion. But here's the thing, Mel. Women tend to find a partner or marry someone who's a few years older than they are. They also tend to live seven to eight years longer. That means that while you're planning for old age and retirement together, she lives in second retirement of a decade alone. And so preparing for all the years that she gave to everyone else-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
... she now needs to make sure she's financially, emotionally, and physically cared for in older
- 1:09:27 – 1:12:42
The Caregiver Roadmap: Health, Money, Burnout, and How to Support the Person Providing Care
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
age.
- MRMel Robbins
What are the top three challenges, frictions if you will, that caregivers face?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Care- caregivers are, are more likely to point to, first one, health. Not just managing health, but the complexity of managing the health. When you start managing three, four, or five, more likely seven medications a day, you may have a loved one who's not exactly being as compliant as you wish. You know, the person who said that they're feeling dizzy and not well on weekend, you take them to the doctor on Monday morning, you're trying to be their advocate, and they're going, "Oh, no, I was fine. I, I'm not..." I, you know, so you're, you're kind of p- in that, that middle ground. Second one is, is largely around finance because that, that... You know, what's interesting, we are more willing to talk about our health, our caregiving, our, our, our failures than we are about our money. And at some point, a, a family member, hopefully one that you trust, because fraud and scams are more likely to come from someone close to you than someone, you know, in a foreign country over online.
- MRMel Robbins
Wait. The scams are more likely to come from-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... somebody close to you?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Un- unfortunately, you've got a, a lot of fraud that you have with family members, caregivers that mean well and eventually do not mean well, and that's a major point of research in, uh, at the AgeLab right now. So the financial considerations of how are things organized, how, uh, you know, uh, where do I have the ability to, to make a decision for you if you can no longer do it? And, and how do you have the conversation when somebody says, "No, that's, that's none of your business," even if, you know, the person's meaning well?
- MRMel Robbins
Wow. And what's the third?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
The third one is the one that is k- the sleeping giant, because this has been consistent for more than 60 years of aging research and caregiving. The third one is transportation. In fact, Mel, I'll, I'll give you a, a data point that even the best financial advisor does not know. Do you know the top three costs of retirement for a couple over 65? Everybody always jumps up, "Healthcare." Okay, that's number two. First one is home. Number three is transportation. 70% of Americans over age 50 live in suburban and rural areas where there's no transit, or it's not transit you wanna use, or there's no alternatives. So caregivers often report that the big challenge they have for that number three is, "God, I gotta take time from work to make sure Mom gets to the doctor," or, "Saturday morning, I have a lot of things I need to do. I gotta go take the kids to practice," or whatever it might be, "but also I gotta make sure Mom gets to the grocery store," or, "I gotta check in on Mom to make sure, you know, I can help clean up around the house and give her a ride to a friend or get out." Transportation is not about getting from point A to B. That's the easy stuff. Transportation is the very glue that holds the big and little things we call life together.
- MRMel Robbins
Can we talk about keys?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You mentioned do not roll into, like, a holiday and say, "Pass the peas and give me your keys, Mom and Dad."
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Yeah, yeah. No, over- overall, and here's the challenge. A lot of people will think that older drivers is they, they show up at Thanksgiving. They haven't seen Mom or Dad for six months, maybe a year, maybe even more, and they kind of look at the table and go, "Gee, he's gotten kind of older, hasn't he?" And it's like, "I don't think he sh- he should be driving." Mel, this is how the AgeLab started, around older drivers. We know this area very well.
- 1:12:42 – 1:14:14
When Should Aging Parents Stop Driving? Warning Signs and How to Discuss the Keys
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It is not about birthdays. Birthdays do not kill. Health conditions do. And so it's about the health conditions, the medications they're taking, what combination, nutrition. As I like to say, I'd rather get in a car with an 80-year-old who's in decent shape than a 30-year-old taking allergy medication. And so one of the things we have to think about is how do you have that conversation when there does come a time when driving is a problem? If they confuse the pedals, we're done. Um, look for patterns, not just like, you know, one mailbox being knocked over. Well, a lot of us do that, and we don't talk about it. But doing it as a pattern, now we got an issue. So yeah, uh, having the conversation is not simply about passing the peas and handing over the keys. It's about doing your homework. How's that person going to get out? How are they gonna get to the things they need? But more importantly, in terms of quality of life, how are they gonna get to the things and the people they love and want? So first thing to do with them, start experimenting. Start f- coming up with who's gonna provide rides. If they've never taken a rideshare, uh, opportunity with Lyft, Uber, or whoever is in the neighborhood, do it while they don't have to so they get it over with.
- MRMel Robbins
I can feel that sense of urgency building inside me. I know there are very specific people I'm sending this to in my family.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
Hi, Mom and Dad, and my brother. How are you? Uh, let's talk about this episode, and I'm sure you're feeling the same way. And that's why I wanted to ask you, Dr. Coughlin, after all the extraordinary things that you have taught us today, shared with us today, educated us
- 1:14:14 – 1:18:42
3 Ways to Protect Your Independence, Strength, and Freedom as You Age
- MRMel Robbins
about today, if the person listening takes just one thing from this extraordinary conversation, what do you think the most important thing to take away is?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
You know, my dissertation advisor taught me that if you don't have three examples, you don't have a point. So I'm gonna give you three takeaways, but, uh, this one is the most important one. Have the conversation. Longevity's a family project.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
It's not an, a individual thing. Talk about care, housing, what matters before the crisis happens. Because when the crisis happens, somebody falls, breaks a hip on Friday. They're hospitalized, surgery by Sunday. By Monday, the hospital's saying, "Congratulations. Mom's coming home." Who? What? Where? How? Remember those questions around caregiving. The second one, this becomes more personal for a couple or individual. Plan for Tuesday. That Tuesday at 10:30, that's really real. You need to add structure to a life that was always structured until the day you retire. And the third one, stop postponing your future you.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
There are things you can do today. Preparation is not about control. It's not just about independence. It's not about financial security alone. Preparation is an act of love, a love of self, a love of your significant other, and a love of all those that you think are go- you're gonna be depending on over time.
- MRMel Robbins
Dr. Coughlin, what are your parting words?
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Parting words is I don't want anyone to believe that older age is something that we should fear. This is a gift of time. You know, since people crawled out of the ooze, if you will, we've wanted to live longer, whether it's, uh, endless life, eternal life, uh, you know, the, uh, uh, uh, trying to find all kinds of things going on to make sure that we live longer. In fact, think of the billions now going into longevity tech, um, that we're gonna live to 100, 150. That's great. But I want you to look at older age as a gift of a dividend of upwards of three to four decades longer than our grandparents, great-grandparents may have enjoyed. A child born today, one half of them, it is said, are likely to live 100 years.
- MRMel Robbins
Wow.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
We don't know how to cash in the years we have. Let's make living longer living better.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, Dr. Coughlin, I just have to say, you are a gift.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
This research is so important. There are very few conversations that you have that both change your mind, that open you up to an entirely different perspective, and that soften your heart-
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Mm
- MRMel Robbins
... in a way that can not only transform your own life but can improve the relationships that you have with the people that you care about. And this one has had a very deep impact on me personally.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
I know it's going to have an impact on my family, and I am also certain that there will be millions of families around the world who will navigate this differently, more compassionately, because of what you taught us today, so thank you.
- JCDr. Joseph Coughlin
But Mel, my team has done amazing work at the MIT AgeLab, but you're doing something that we cannot do. Before their action, there must be attention, and thank you for making that happen.
- MRMel Robbins
You're welcome. And I wanna thank you. Thank you, Dr. Coughlin just said it. You gave your time and attention, your most precious resource, to this conversation, and that really matters. And in case no one else tells you, as your friend, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And what Dr. Coughlin has taught us today about the opportunity, the gift of all of these additional years, he has taught us how not to just live more years, but to put more life into those years, and what a gift that is. All righty, I will see you in the very next episode. I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play. Was this not fantastic? Send this to your parents if you're lucky enough to still have them here, and your grandparents, or your siblings, your friends. Like, be generous with this. And I know you wanna watch another video now that you're all inspired and fired up, and I think you're gonna love this one next. And I'll be there to welcome you in the moment you hit play.
Episode duration: 1:18:44
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