The Mel Robbins Podcast

Surprising Signs of Anxiety and How to Heal It | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Ready to level up? ⬆️🚀 https://bit.ly/takecontrol2023 👈 Sign up for my FREE 3-part science-backed training, Take Control with Mel Robbins! It’s designed specifically to help you step back into excellence, take ACTION, and create the life you deserve 🌟 — Today’s episode is a continuation of our exclusive two-part series with world-renowned medical expert, Dr. Russell Kennedy ( @theanxietymd ) Is #anxiety impacting your ability to sleep? Tired of the negative loop of thoughts in your mind? Is anxiety affecting your kids? Is it #genetic? Are there surprising signs of adult anxiety? Did your parents struggle with it, and you never knew? How do you break generational cycles? Dr. Kennedy answers these questions and so many more. You’ll also learn what most #therapists get "wrong" about anxiety. If you are looking for more free resources and support, I’ve got you! I have a brand new, free 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins." This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life. It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook. Plus, you’ll be taking the course with over half a million other students around the world. All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity? Sign up for free at https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol now. Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 04:11 What do you do when your anxiety creeps in at night? 07:28 Here’s where most therapeutic approaches get it wrong. 07:47 I couldn’t believe what happened when I started facing my anxiety. 11:06 Cold plunges teach your body to be uncomfortable and still be okay. 12:51 This approach doesn’t eliminate the alarm, and yet you still heal. 13:26 Use this strategy when you wake up in the night with anxiety. 16:46 Living with social anxiety? Dr. Kennedy explains why. 21:24 Not sure what your nervous system has to do with anxiety? Listen here. 24:19 Dr. Kennedy’s #1 tool to move you into rest-and-digest pretty quickly. 25:25 Use these two tools to move yourself out of the freeze response. 27:55 Look at your alarm this way, and your mindset towards it changes, too. 31:27 So how do you start breaking the cycle of anxiety in a family? 38:30 For those of us who grew up in the “I’ll give you something to cry about.” 40:42 What are signs that your parents were actually struggling with anxiety? 45:25 This is why you have a hard time slowing down. And me too! 49:37 Here’s what your life can look like once you heal your alarm. 57:31 Here’s the neuroscience behind why essential oils help calm your body. 59:32 Dr. Kennedy shares his tips for playing “the right way.” 1:02:02 Have this where you can see it to remember your partner’s vulnerability. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Russell Kennedyguest

Apr 13, 20231h 7mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Healing Anxiety’s Hidden Roots: From Childhood Alarm To Body-Based Calm

Mel Robbins and Dr. Russell Kennedy continue their Anxiety Toolkit series, reframing anxiety not as a lifelong mental illness but as a body-based ‘alarm’ originating in childhood moments of feeling unsafe or separate. They argue that most conventional approaches over-focus on thoughts and coping, while the real healing work happens in the nervous system and stored emotional memories in the body. The episode highlights practical somatic tools—breathwork, touch, movement, and self-compassion—to soothe the alarm and reconnect with the “younger self” carrying unresolved fear. They also address sleep-related anxiety, generational patterns in families, subtle signs of anxiety in parents, and how breaking the cycle in adults transforms children’s well-being.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Treat anxiety as an alarm in your body, not a thought problem in your head.

According to Dr. Kennedy, chronic anxiety is usually unresolved fear stored in the nervous system from childhood moments of feeling unsafe or separate. Thoughts are your brain’s attempt to make sense of this body alarm; real healing starts by locating and soothing the physical sensations (tight chest, pit in stomach, lump in throat), not by endlessly analyzing your worries.

Use a two-pronged approach: coping for now, somatic healing for the root cause.

Sleep hygiene, blue-light limits, CBT, meditation, and yoga are valuable coping tools, but they mostly manage symptoms. To dismantle the alarm, you must work below the neck—breathing into the tense area, placing a hand on it, feeling the discomfort, and compassionately attending to the younger self whose fear is stored there.

When anxiety spikes—especially at night—come back to the present moment and your safety.

If you wake up with racing thoughts, connect to the body sensation, place your hand there, breathe, and ask, “Am I safe in this moment?” or state “I am safe in this moment.” Pair that thought with the felt sense of safety, using tools like the physiological sigh (two short inhales, one long exhale) to shift your nervous system toward calm.

Break rumination by changing your physiological state, not by thinking harder.

Once the mind is spiraling worst-case scenarios, it has strong inertia. Interrupt it with a pattern-breaker like Mel’s 5‑second rule (5‑4‑3‑2‑1, then move), the physiological sigh, going for a walk, or any physical action; movement and sensation shift your brain chemistry and make calmer thoughts possible.

To stop passing anxiety to your kids, heal your own alarm first.

Anxiety isn’t strongly genetic, but sensitivity plus anxious, dysregulated parenting conditions kids into alarm. Dr. Kennedy focuses on treating the parents: when adults regulate their own nervous systems and become more emotionally available, children feel safer and the family’s anxiety pattern naturally softens.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

You don’t have to cope with anxiety for life—you can heal it.

— Dr. Russell Kennedy

I stopped talking about my anxiety and got below the neck—that’s when everything changed.

— Mel Robbins

Your body has no concept of words. Its language is feeling.

— Dr. Russell Kennedy

Anxiety is always about the future. Healing happens in the present-moment sensation of your body.

— Dr. Russell Kennedy

Anxiety in a family is not about the kids. It’s about the adults.

— Dr. Russell Kennedy

Anxiety as a body-based alarm rooted in childhood experiences of unsafety or separationThe limits of purely cognitive therapy and the importance of somatic healingNighttime and sleep-related anxiety: why it happens and how to respondBreaking generational cycles of anxiety by healing the adults firstSurprising, non-obvious signs of anxiety in parents and older generationsPractical regulation tools: breathing, movement, grounding, sensory inputs, and playReparenting the inner child with compassion, safety, and consistent self-connection

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