The Mel Robbins PodcastThe Secret to Why You’re Unhappy & The ONE Thing You Can Do About It | The Mel Robbins Podcast
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
105 min read · 21,262 words- 0:00 – 2:20
Intro
- MRMel Robbins
(ticking sound) We gotta turn this on because something just happened. I am going to try to explain a breakthrough that I am having, that is unfolding in real time, that, oh my God, I don't even realize how much I'm battling happiness inside myself. It's like this campaign of misery, like I pick up the sword, I start wielding it and I'm, I'm fighting for misery. Can we come up with a prompt?
- GUGuest
I got a great prompt for you.
- MRMel Robbins
Give me the prompt. What is the prompt?
- GUGuest
This is what I write on the top-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, all right.
- GUGuest
... of every page, every morning.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
This will change your life.
- MRMel Robbins
(upbeat music) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to a life-changing episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so happy that you're here, because this morning, I had a profound breakthrough in happiness. I guess more importantly, I had a breakthrough in the thing that I am doing that is robbing me of happiness, and you're doing this exact same thing too. We all are, and it's in the background, you probably don't even realize it. Today's conversation is going to be an eye-opener, a game-changer. I cannot wait for you to hear it. It is also unfolding live. I was so excited about this breakthrough that I literally barreled into work this morning and Amy and Jesse, my colleagues and friends, were sitting here ready to go, and I could not contain myself. I had to share this breakthrough with them, and what you're gonna hear is me coming up the stairs and you're gonna listen to that conversation unfold live, and this is more than a conversation. We are bringing breakthroughs and matches. We burn things. So let's go. Okay, so I was just about to have a conversation with my friends Jesse and Amy. You wanna say hi to everybody?
- GUGuest
Hi.
- AMAmy
Hi there.
- MRMel Robbins
And I thought, "Ding, ding, ding, this is something that I think everybody should hear," because I am going to try to explain a breakthrough that I am having, that is unfolding in real time-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... about my relationship to complaining and my relationship
- 2:20 – 9:48
Complaining is robbing me of happiness, how I had this realization
- MRMel Robbins
to suffering, and how that robs me of happiness.
- GUGuest
Hmm.
- AMAmy
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And here's what happened this morning. I woke up and I felt this incredible flood of happiness and joy and gratitude because all three of our kids are home, and nothing makes me happier than when Chris and I are here at home and all three kids are here and we, as a family, are together, and so I feel this wave of joy. And almost immediately, a second wave came and washed over the joy and just washed it right out, and the wave that came over me was sadness and grief that they were gonna be leaving-
- GUGuest
Hmm.
- AMAmy
Oh.
- MRMel Robbins
... in three or four days.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
I just felt this, like heartbreak hit.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm. That wasn't even happening in the moment.
- MRMel Robbins
No.
- GUGuest
Right. Anticipatory heartbreak.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- AMAmy
And they just got here. Yeah. Right.
- MRMel Robbins
And they just got here.
- AMAmy
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
And it was so acute, and so I laid there for a minute and I thought, "Holy ca- why am I sad? I mean, they're here." And then, of course, I rolled over to kind of explain this to Chris and he had been up-
- AMAmy
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... for two hours, so there (laughs) the bed-
- AMAmy
Ah.
- MRMel Robbins
... was empty.
- AMAmy
(laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
Um, and I get up, I brush my teeth, I'm kinda thinking about this, and then I get a text from you, Amy.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And every morning, Amy pulls a card for me, and if you don't know what pulling a card is, you will-
- AMAmy
(laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
... because we are going to lean into this at the Mel Robbins Podcast. She pulls a card and it's a mindfulness practice, it's a way to get guidance from the universe, from universal truth. It's a way to tap into faith and magic in your life, and so I've become basically addicted to-
- AMAmy
(laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
... checking my phone after my morning routine-
- AMAmy
(laughs) .
- 9:48 – 15:42
I have been putting up my sword, self-sabotaging and speaking the campaign of misery
- MRMel Robbins
"You're miserable. And the harder you work and the busier you get, the more unhappy you are. And you've gotta start to take your unhap- your happiness seriously, Mel."
- GUGuest
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
"You've got to figure out how to be happy." And that might come as a surprise, you know, for you to hear as you're listening to Amy and Jesse and I talk to you, that I, at a baseline, was not a content or happy person. And Chris would always say to me, "God, you're always, like, focused on what's wrong. It's never enough, it's never this." And I would reject that, full stop. I'd be like, "No I don't."
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
"I'm a really grateful person," which I am.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
"I'm a really positive person," which I am. "I'm, I'm a really, like, you know, I'm, I, you know, like, I, I have happy times. I, I am, like, I'm not, I'm not always f-" Uh, I couldn't even see it.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And so here's the major breakthrough I had this morning, around waking up and having a wave of joy, because all three kids are home and our family's together, then it immediately being wiped away by grief and loss and fear and upset that, "Oh no, no, no, no, no, they're gonna leave."
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
The mirror, and my true nature, is the love and the joy. And the second that the gripping and the fear and the but they're leaving and the this and the that, that's me picking up the sword. And I had this realization that, oh my God, I don't even realize how much I'm battling happiness inside myself. It's like this campaign, and this campaign of misery. Like, I pick up the sword, I start wielding it, and I'm, I'm fighting for misery.
- GUGuest
Yeah. And there's always, when you have a sword in your hand, there's always something to fight.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes. And here's the thing. When I'm thinking about the kids leaving in four days, I'm not actually experiencing them being here.
- GUGuest
No.
Right, right.
Right, right.
- MRMel Robbins
And then they're gonna leave, and then I'm gonna be thinking about when they come back.
- GUGuest
You're not present to the joy.
- MRMel Robbins
And I'm not present to the joy.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So I'm experiencing it on the surface. We laugh, we dance, we do this.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
But deep down...I am engaged in a campaign of misery.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And I think it's because I was, my mom is always focused on, like, what's not working.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And she has bursts of happiness, and I so, like, want her to be happy, and there's always something wrong.
- AMAmy
(laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
And it's as if I learned to speak both English, and I also learned to pick up the sword and look for what's wrong.
- 15:42 – 17:15
We all have 2 languages: the one we speak and the one we feel
- MRMel Robbins
and not be searching for what's wrong, and not be engaged in my own private campaign of-
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... you know, "This isn't happening this way, and that isn't," and like, even right now, like, we're recording this profound conversation, and, um, Eric and Brian are banging nails-
- AMAmy
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... on the shed outside-
- GUGuest
We're banging it out up here.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- AMAmy
(laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
We're banging it out up here.
- GUGuest
(laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
You know, like, there's my mind, searching for, "Oh, well, this, uh-"
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Stop it, Mel.
- AMAmy
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
Stop it, because you may not have realized that it was a second language that you're constantly speaking. Just like if your primary language that was spoken in your house was Spanish or it was Russian, you speak that fluently.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And then, if you- like, I feel like all of us have a verbal language, and we have a subconscious emotional language. And I was sharing this breakthrough with Chris this morning, so, he c- and he kinda- he said this to me, he said, "You know, so are you saying that in public you're a very happy, positive person, but in private you're sad and miserable?" I'm like, "No, it's way deeper than that." On the surface, I speak English, and I am a happy, positive, optimistic person, I- because I am.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
But deep down in the depths of my subconscious, there is another language-
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... that I am speaking, and I've labeled it a campaign of misery.
- 17:15 – 21:05
What my campaign of misery is - the campaign of misery looks for what's wrong and argues against happiness
- MRMel Robbins
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And even if you don't identify with this notion of looking for what's wrong, or arguing against your own happiness, everybody can relate to this idea that, you know, as you're ready to go on vacation and you're at work, you're thinking about vacation. As you're on vacation, what are you thinking about? Getting back to work.
- AMAmy
Back to work. Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Right. And for me, that sort of internal always-on subconscious emotional dialogue is to search for something that is wrong right now or is about to go wrong.
- AMAmy
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And in this moment, there is nothing wrong. In fact, I am living my greatest day ever.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Because I'm here with you two, who I love. We are doing work that makes an impact that we've pl-... love.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Downstairs, I hear the voices of the people I love the most, and we're all together for three or four delicious days. And happiness and contentment requires you to look in the mirror and be where your feet are, and let that joy and happiness flood in, and not pick up the sword and s- gut the happiness by going, "Bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- but this, but the res- but the reservation, but they're running late, but the traffic-"
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
"... but this, but they're leaving, but oh, someone's-" like...
- GUGuest
Yeah. If you're always looking for something wrong, you'll find it.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
Right?
- MRMel Robbins
And I don't think... I never realized the extent to which that was my default.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm. Well, and also, I wanna say, it is your default because it was what you needed to do, but it is not who you are, like, at a soul level, right? It is not, like, truly who you are. It is just, like, that, that language, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
Like, when you say subconsciously, yes, that's true. You, subconsciously, you do that, but on a soul level, it, none of us are, are like that. Like we're all, you know, uh, this Garden of Venus state-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
... which is like joy, peace-
- MRMel Robbins
Well, that's how we were born.
- GUGuest
Yeah, exactly.
- MRMel Robbins
And that's who you are.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You're wired for joy.
- GUGuest
You're wired.
- MRMel Robbins
That's why you miss it.
- 21:05 – 24:04
How am I going to put down the sword…
- MRMel Robbins
campaign of misery.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Secondly, I said to Chris this morning, "I'm 54. It is as fluent inside of me as English, and I can learn a new language." But just like learning a new language requires you to practice it every day-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and you'll slip into English if that's your default, or you'll slip into Russian or Spanish if that's your default, I gotta make a commitment to myself to practice speaking, and encoding, and learning a different subconscious emotional language.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And that when I slip into the one that I learned and have practiced forever, it's an emotional subconscious default that you have had since before you could put words together.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, we learned this from Dr. Becky.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Uh, that from zero to five, before you've got your own words, and sentence structure, and ability to truly describe the world around you, you are absorbing while your brain is in a theta state, which is a state of hyperlearning like a giant sponge, which is why little kids can learn a second language like that, you're always learning two languages when you're born. You're learning the one that's spoken out loud, and you're learning the emotional language-
- GUGuest
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
... that is deeper underneath it.
- GUGuest
Right. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And so, you know, your question, Jessie, how am I... I have no fucking idea. I guess I'm gonna write about it in my journal every day. I'm gonna keep talking about it. I'm gonna catch those moments where the wave that is positive, that I feel myself picking up the sword and gutting it.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
You know?
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And I, I see it everywhere.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
I see it in work. I see it in... Even with the podcast, you know, we came out of the gates, and this has been so wildly successful, and the downloads grow every day, and it's just been extraordinary. And there's, like, I, I, instead of basking in, wow, like, we're, we're, we're making a difference, this is resonating with people, I feel that, and then I see myself pick up the sword, and I'm like, wroth.
- GUGuest
Right. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
It's temporary. It's luck. You're gonna plummet off those dr- And then I'm like, "Ah."
- GUGuest
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
And then I come from fear instead of coming from-
- GUGuest
Right. Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... my natural state-
- GUGuest
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... which is, I just wanna have these conversations that allow us to share our lives with people and connect more deeply, and that make a difference for all of us.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- 24:04 – 27:34
How parental figures/upbringing impact how you talk to yourself
- GUGuest
I call it, like, my tribe language of how my parents talk about y- uh, you know, the big things, like money, and relationships, and, uh, big life events, like how they view them.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
Uh, I noticed years ago that...... if I'm gonna live the life that I want, I need to leave this tribe, not speak this language anymore.
Ooh.
And I did a lot of research around that and like, "How do I do this?" Because it's painful to extract yourself from this-
Family.
... family. From your family, basically.
- MRMel Robbins
Do you think that's what- th- that's what you experience that is that sort of crunchy-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... kind of thing that everybody has, even though you may love your family deeply, that there is still this sort of mismatch-
- GUGuest
Yeah.
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... when you all get together because you're at different states of-
- GUGuest
Yes. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... evolving-
- GUGuest
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
... and different states of, we all speak this language with words, but we are all-
- GUGuest
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... engaged in learning a new language at a subconscious emotional level.
- GUGuest
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
We've all moved on in some way and- but we have our family roles. We have our common language.
Mm-hmm.
We have our tribal, you know, and I say tribal in the sense that like, any group of three people that get together create a culture in, in and of itself.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh yeah, that's the Seth Godin research, right?
- GUGuest
Yeah. Right, exactly. So, um, so yeah, I decided I don't wanna do this anymore. I am grateful for it. You know, like, uh, like KonMari, like thank you for the lessons I've learned.
Yeah.
And I'm moving on here. I'm making a conscious decision to move on.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you know what's also interesting is I think when you're present to it, Jessie and Amy, that, oh, okay, there's this thing I speak, and then there's this thing I wanna feel deeply.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- 27:34 – 31:32
Step #1: Knowing you encourage the campaign of misery is a huge breakthrough
- GUGuest
three years, at lea- you know, this knowing, uh, is, is the start of something really awesome in your life.
Mm-hmm.
So number one. Uh-
- MRMel Robbins
D- have you named yours? 'Cause I've named mine The Campaign of Misery.
- GUGuest
Oh, I- I love that.
Mm-hmm.
I might, I might adopt that. No, I- I- I didn't name that, but I might... The Campaign of Misery sums it up pretty nicely, you know. It, it totally is. Um, the one thing I started doing, journaling was a very big part of my practice. I would journal every day about this then I would for, for a very long time, then I would burn it.
- MRMel Robbins
Wow.
- GUGuest
I would literally put it outside in a, in a Pyrex bowl and burn it, and then I would watch it burn. It didn't take that long.
- MRMel Robbins
Every day?
- GUGuest
Every day. I had pictures on my phone.
- MRMel Robbins
So you would wake up.
- GUGuest
I would take a picture of the burning flame every day.
- MRMel Robbins
We have to put-
- GUGuest
Wow.
... every day.
- MRMel Robbins
We have to put... Well, first of all, we're gonna put this card in the description in the show notes.
- GUGuest
Yeah. So- so I-
- MRMel Robbins
W- will you walk us through this?
- GUGuest
(laughs)
... I would burn it. So I would, I would do my morning pages, three pages of, you know... Morning page is just supposed to be three pages of your stream of consciousness, but I would purposely think about this tribal thinking and just write everything that I hated about it, everything I loved about it, like everything, everything that was, was happening in my life. For three pages, I would write about it. I would crumple it up or rip it or whatever. I would put it in this, in this, you know, Pyrex bowl so it- I didn't like explode it, and I would put it outside no matter the weather.
- MRMel Robbins
So would you like walk out-
- GUGuest
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
... to your front porch or were you on the back deck?
- GUGuest
Yep. Back deck, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
And just put it out there and I would-
Why am I getting emotional at this? Keep going.
... I would burn it. And I would close the sliding glass door and I would watch it burn.
- MRMel Robbins
From the inside safety.
- 31:32 – 32:40
Step #2: The journal prompt that will change your life
- MRMel Robbins
prompt? Because I do think-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... having everybody that wants to try this, call this the Campaign of Misery.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So, I liked that you said what you love about it, what you don't like about it.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So, can we just kinda think up a prompt? So, as I go to do this tomorrow morning-
- GUGuest
I got a great prompt for you.
- MRMel Robbins
Give me the prompt. What is the prompt?
- GUGuest
This is what I write on the top-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
... of every page-
I'm gonna write.
... every morning.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- GUGuest
This will change your life. "How can this be easy?"
- MRMel Robbins
"How can this be easy?"
- GUGuest
I write that on the top.
Jesus, I don't e- well, I go-
Question mark, question mark.
I don't even know like, what is this?
- MRMel Robbins
Like, I'm like, "What is this?"
- GUGuest
Yes.
What questions you have? I'm like-
- MRMel Robbins
This?
- GUGuest
What is, what is this? Is that-
Everything-
... my day?
... you guys.
Is that-
- 32:40 – 43:36
How we make our life so hard, and how can we make it easy
- GUGuest
Everything is so hard.
It has to be.
- MRMel Robbins
How do you m- how do you make your... Te- give us an example of how you made your life hard already today? What, where were the disgusting thoughts, the Campaign of Misery? How did you pick up the sword against yourself or Jim or-
- GUGuest
Oh, as soon as I get in the mirror, like-
- MRMel Robbins
What do you do?
- GUGuest
... days... That's-
Yeah.
... "You look like shit. Good luck today." Like, (laughs) not even good luck. Just-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, right. Really?
- GUGuest
Oh, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
What else did you say-
- GUGuest
That-
- MRMel Robbins
... to yourself?
- GUGuest
... um, I get s- obviously super stressed and emotional with holidays.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- GUGuest
Um... Because-
- MRMel Robbins
Because?
- GUGuest
... of my family's never really cared about them.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- GUGuest
And I'm trying to change that, so that's also like, how can I create my own language for my holiday-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm. Yeah.
- GUGuest
... in my new house with my new husband. Like-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
... all these things that I can start fresh, how do I do that with nothing? Like, from scratch?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
What does that even mean? What does it look like? Jim asked me that too. Like, "What does it look like to have a tradition? What tradition? We can do it. Name it." And I'm like-
Uh...
... "I don't know. I don't have-"
I know. (laughs) I've been there too.
- 43:36 – 49:02
What did this journal prompt bring up for Jessie and I
- GUGuest
do them as often a- I don't wanna say as I should, so I need to stop saying I should.
Yeah, there's that.
But just being still and being present.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, i- it's so profound, isn't it?
- GUGuest
Yeah, and that was-
- MRMel Robbins
Like it's just the little things that we're not even present to-
- GUGuest
Mm-mm.
- MRMel Robbins
... because we're busy, shoulda done this, shoulda done that, that we're not hugging the people we love. We're not greeting the cat. We're not-
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
That's-
- GUGuest
We're running out the door. We're, you know, onto the next. You know, I feel that too, like just even as you said that. Like I didn't really hug my husband as I left this morning. Right.
Yeah. I didn't either. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Shit. I didn't either.
- GUGuest
(laughs) Yeah.
And that's an easy change.
Yeah.
But it was, you know, I started with that, with like literal hand shaking, just 'cause I, I didn't know how to start this, where to start. What is easy? It's easy to breathe. It's easy to be still, and right now to be present with this pen and paper.
- MRMel Robbins
How did you end it?
- GUGuest
Um, I ended it very confident. Um-
Hm. Wow. I wanna hear this.
Yeah.
For sure.
If I can read just like-
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
... the last journey.
Whatever you're comfortable with, I wanna hear it.
You know, we're around the holidays. Um, even though I know you said don't read your papers.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. I don't, but that's another-
- GUGuest
Before you burn 'em.
- 49:02 – 52:19
Stop gripping, just love, feel that happiness again
- GUGuest
yes.
- MRMel Robbins
That's incredible.
- GUGuest
That's beautiful.
- MRMel Robbins
Same thing was true about the cat, 'cause I realize I'm so pissed off at him and, and I need to come from love 'cause he's clearly in distress. Something's up. Like, he can't fix this himself.
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So, I gotta, like, rise above all of this resentment and anger that I feel-
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... and just shower him with love, and help him figure it out.
- GUGuest
Wow.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause otherwise Chris is gonna kill him, I mean-
- GUGuest
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... if he keeps peeing in the house. It's beautiful, three-
- GUGuest
I mean, that was, that was really cool. And again, I didn't think I could fill up three pages, but it just-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, God.
- GUGuest
... kept going. Once, once you really get into it, whoosh-
- MRMel Robbins
Flush the toilet.
- GUGuest
Yeah.
Flush the toilet. Well, I'll tell you what I know from doing this, and this is just my experiences. A lot of times you don't wanna do it, there's resistance.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
You don't think you can do it, you can't fill a page, you don't wanna talk about it, you know, whatever it is.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- GUGuest
And then once you get going, it's like-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- GUGuest
... just the floodgates open.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, I think this is an act of reprogram ... Think about this, like, I think about this like, reprogram your mind. I think one of the reasons why so many of us love prayer or meditation or oracle cards or, you know, like, reading a book, like, um, The Book of Awakening, that gives you, like-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... a daily devotional-
- GUGuest
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... is that it gives you a new thought-
- GUGuest
Yeah.
- 52:19 – 59:04
Burning our journal entries - watch those negative emotions drift away
- GUGuest
Yeah.
... sometimes you really get, like, a message even in that. So then, I just, um-
Light it?
... take a match-
Okay.
... I'll light Jessie's for her. And sometimes it's more difficult than ...
Do you need me to hold yours?
And somehow this matches. There we go.
Oh, thanks. Wow.
And then, uh, I just have a habit of standing back from it and watching it burn, and just saying to myself, "Let it all go. Just let all that complaining, shit you don't need, and the stuff you don't want, let it be gone."
Wow. What do you do when it stops burning? Like, I'm now worried about yours.
(laughs) Mine? Yeah, I know. Sometimes that happens. Uh, 'cause mine's not lighting.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, it's funny. That kind of crumpled, ashy remain is what that black tar-
- GUGuest
Ooh.
- MRMel Robbins
... wave of misery actually felt like-
- GUGuest
You're right.
- MRMel Robbins
... that I felt this morning.
- GUGuest
Wow.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, that physical burnt paper that's left in that Pyrex dish looks like misery.
- GUGuest
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
That's what I feel when I think, for example, about the kids all leaving, instead of being present in the moment.
- GUGuest
It's sad.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. Oh, yours is smoking.
- GUGuest
I know. I'm having some difficulty with mine.
- MRMel Robbins
Not really. It's just taking some-
- GUGuest
And I think that's okay.
- MRMel Robbins
It's taking a little time. Amy's burning hers. What are you feeling, Jessie?
- GUGuest
Very satisfied. I don't know why that happened so fast, and there's so much hesitation to write it, and how do I start it, how do I do this, this, this, this? And, it was easy.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) Isn't that incredible?
Episode duration: 59:05
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