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The Truth About Anxiety & ADHD: Life-Changing Tools From Renowned Psychiatrist Dr. Tracey Marks

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — If you’re anxious, overwhelmed, uncertain, or find yourself wondering “what is wrong with me?” then this episode is for you. Today, world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. Tracey Marks, MD is here to deliver the truth about what’s really going on in your brain, body, and most importantly: what you can do about it. If you deal with anxiety, ADHD symptoms, trouble focusing, procrastination, stomach problems, skin picking, and always running late… you need to hear today’s episode. You are not broken. You don’t need fixing. You just need the right tools. And today, you’re going to get them. With over 25 years of clinical experience and more than 2 million followers on YouTube, Dr. Marks is known for making complex mental health topics clear, relatable, and actionable. In this powerful conversation, she breaks down the surprising science behind anxiety and ADHD and gives you the exact tools she shares with her patients to stop spiraling and start feeling more in control. You’ll learn: - Why you fidget, overthink, or shut down under pressure - The hidden links between anxiety, ADHD, stomach issues, skin picking, and always running late - The #1 tool to interrupt anxiety in the moment - Why labeling yourself “an anxious person” might be making things worse for you or your loved ones - Small but powerful habits that rewire your brain for calm, focus, and confidence This episode is your science-backed, therapist-approved toolkit for mental clarity, emotional balance, and real relief. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-279 Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Welcome 10:51 How Anxiety Manifests in the Body 21:01 Using Interoceptive Exposure to Manage Anxiety 29:21 The Physiology of Anxiety Explained 35:09 Exploring Phobias and Social Anxiety 44:02 Practical Behavioral Tools for Anxiety Relief 52:35 Lifestyle Strategies That Support Anxiety Recovery 56:40 The Overlap Between ADHD and Anxiety 01:05:59 How ADHD Impacts Focus, Motivation, and Daily Functioning 01:13:37 What You Need To Know About Nail Biting, Skin Picking & Hair Pulling 01:25:44 The Link Between ADHD, Perfectionism, and Procrastination — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Dr. Tracey MarksguestMel RobbinshostGuest callerguestAlyssa (production assistant)guest
Apr 10, 20251h 33mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 10:51

    Welcome

    1. TM

      There's been a, a huge uptick in anxiety. It all started with the pandemic. (instrumental music plays) The World Health Organization reported a 25% increase in an- anxiety globally, and sadly, it's still continuing to rise. It's not like it got better after things settled down. We're still having increases in incidents of anxiety. Probably the most common ones are social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder.

    2. MR

      There are also factors that you're gonna teach us today that can help you get your anxiety under control.

    3. TM

      That's absolutely right. Your brain is changeable, and regardless of what condition you may have, you can improve the quality of your life with simple behaviors and habits. You have control over this, and you have agency over your mental health. (clock ticking)

    4. MR

      Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited to be here with you. It is always such an honor to spend time together, to be together, but today in particular, I am fired up for this conversation because it has deeply personal meaning for me, and so I'm glad to be learning together with you. And if you're a new listener, I just wanna take a moment and personally welcome you to The Mel Robbins Podcast family. Thrilled that you're here. And because you hit play and found the time to listen to this particular episode, here's what I know about you. You love to learn, you love feeling inspired, and you also want to understand yourself better, and that's exactly what this amazing conversation is gonna help you do today. And if somebody sent this to you, let me just point out that that's really cool because it means you have people in your life that deeply care about you, and they wanted you to hear something that could potentially make your life better, and that's awesome. And today, the conversation, it's not gonna just blow your mind, it's gonna change your mind because we're gonna dig into the surprising connection between anxiety, ADHD, and symptoms that people with these two conditions experience that you may not be aware of. I certainly wasn't. And more importantly, you're gonna get a lot of tools on exactly what to do if this is how you feel or if it's impacting somebody that you care about. So let me introduce you to the amazing Dr. Tracey Marks who is an absolute powerhouse. Dr. Marks graduated from Duke and then got her medical degree from the University of Florida College of Medicine. She did a residency in psychiatry at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. She has been a practicing clinical psychiatrist for over 25 years, specializing in anxiety, ADHD, and mood disorders. She's also the author of three best-selling books on mental health, including the one I'm holding right now, Why Am I So Anxious? She also has two million subscribers on YouTube, making her channel one of the biggest mental health and wellness channels online today. Her YouTube videos break down complicated topics like ADHD and anxiety into simple, relatable strategies that help people like you and me who are struggling with ADHD and anxiety learn how to thrive. So without further ado, please help me welcome Dr. Tracey Marks to The Mel Robbins Podcast. Dr. Tracey Marks, welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.

    5. TM

      Thanks for having me here. I am so excited.

    6. MR

      I am so excited to sit down and talk with you. And by the way, Why Am I So Anxious?, this is a fantastic book. But more importantly, you know what it is? It is a resource. When I was flipping through this, I cannot believe how many tools, how much research, how many different just strategies that you put together for people. So thank you, thank you, thank you for writing such a fantastic book that I'm sure is helping millions of people.

    7. TM

      Wonderful. That was the intent is to give people a resource. I mean, it kinda reads like an encyclopedia a little bit, but- (laughs)

    8. MR

      Well, you're very smart, so yes, it does, but it made me smarter about anxiety for sure.

    9. TM

      Excellent. Goal achieved.

    10. MR

      So I would love to start by having you speak directly to the person that is listening, that's spending time together with us right now, and just explain what might be different about their life or the life of somebody that they care about if they take everything that you're about to share with us today to heart and they apply it to their life.

    11. TM

      Sure. I think the biggest thing that someone can take away if they really listen and understand what we're talking about today is the fact that your brain is changeable, and regardless of what condition you may have, you can improve the quality of your life with simple behaviors and habits. You have control over this, and you have agency over your mental health.

    12. MR

      Now, you have been a psychiatrist for 25 years, and there are a number of topics that I cannot wait to jump in and just really unpack with you. And in particular, what I'm excited to talk about is anxiety and then to get into its connection with ADHD and other symptoms that people may be feeling that they don't realize are related. What are you seeing in your practice, and with the millions of people that follow you online, what are you seeing in terms of the type of anxiety that people are struggling with? And what do you think we, we should know?

    13. TM

      Sure. So anxiety, there's been a, a huge uptick in anxiety. I mean, anxiety, first of all, it's a very big topic because there's lots of different types of anxiety. Probably the most common ones are social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder. But, that said, um, it all started with the pandemic. So the World Health Organization reported a 25% increase in... and anxiety globally, starting with the pandemic. And sadly, it's still continuing to rise. It's not like it got better after things settled down. We're still having increases in incidents of anxiety.

    14. MR

      Now, why do you think that is?

    15. TM

      I think it has to do with, um, our digital world this day, where we're always on, 24-hour news cycles-

    16. MR

      Hmm.

    17. TM

      ... um, social media with constant comparisons, and, um, access to bad news at any time of day. And also, our-our brains can be, um, overloaded with information-

    18. MR

      Hmm.

    19. TM

      ... that then can create anxiety. So, we have information overload, lots of hard working. I mean, there's just lots of societal factors.

    20. MR

      Well, it's interesting, 'cause at the very beginning you said that one of the things that could change about your life is your brain. Because your brain is malleable. You are able to reprogram it, and if I think about what you just shared with us, which is anxiety's on the uptick, which I just want to say to you as you're listening, if you're experiencing an uptick in anxiety or if people that you care about are experiencing anxiety for the first time, then I think it's important to hear that this is actually kinda normal right now, that Dr. Marks is seeing it. What's also interesting to me about the list that you just gave us, in terms of social media, constant comparison, things constantly changing, the headlines-

    21. TM

      Yes.

    22. MR

      ... the news cycle that's so negative, like all of it, is that those factors have changed your brain in terms of you feeling anxious, which means if there are outside factors that can change your brain and make you anxious, I would imagine, Dr. Marks, there are also factors that you're gonna teach us today that can help you get your anxiety under control.

    23. TM

      That's absolutely right. So just as our brains can change in a negative way-

    24. MR

      Yeah.

    25. TM

      ... our brains can change in a positive way, and we have the ability to make those changes ourselves.

    26. MR

      So if you're like super anxious, 'cause I struggled with anxiety for decades, and one of my biggest fears, Dr. Marks, is I'd never actually get rid of it, that I would always feel like that. And so for somebody that's listening right now or they have a-a loved one, uh, a child or a family member or a friend who's just like in the grip of it, what is possible?

    27. TM

      Sure. So I always, uh, kind of give, when I'm talking to people or talking to patients, the caveat that anxiety is one of those things that waxes and wanes over time. It's like a wave. So you can have periods of your life where it's more manageable-

    28. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    29. TM

      ... and then periods of your life where it's-becomes unmanageable because of stressors. And so it is important to realize that this isn't something that, where the end point should be, "I wanna be cured and be anxiety-free," because that's not-

    30. MR

      I don't want to hear that. (laughs)

  2. 10:51 – 21:01

    How Anxiety Manifests in the Body

    1. MR

      is so helpful. What do you experience in your body when you are in a moment where you feel anxious about wanting to do well? And I, you know, I-we've all been there, whether it's on a date or an interview. This is a very normal thing and it's a sign that you're actually functioning the way that you should 'cause you care about how you're gonna do, right?

    2. TM

      That's right. So it kind of, this ties into your question about what really is anxiety, and it's a full body experience.

    3. MR

      Hmm.

    4. TM

      It's not just in your head and it's not just in your body. It's both. So for me, going back to your question, um, my mouth gets dry, which then, um, you know, my lips could stick if I'm, like, trying to smile and I'm like, "Am I looking ridiculous?" Um, so and then I get in my head about how do I look, how do I sound, and all of that. So that's kind of how I experience anxiety. Um, worrying about what the other person's thinking.

    5. MR

      Hmm.

    6. TM

      But, um, so going back to the usual experience of anxiety, which I shouldn't even say usual. It's an individual experience. So you can have, the head symptoms would be like worrying in your head, fear, um, over concern about what people are thinking, like I was just talking about.

    7. MR

      Yeah.

    8. TM

      ... in your body, um, you know, we get, um, a sympathetic response, which, um, historically or biologically was designed to give us the ability to fight or flee some perceived threats. But that response turns on even for threats that are real or imagined.

    9. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    10. TM

      So, if I'm imagining that I'm gonna look ridiculous because of something I say-

    11. MR

      (laughs)

    12. TM

      ... then I can start having my heart racing, I can start feeling, um, gastro- other gastrointestinal things. Some people can feel like they're gonna have the runs and, "Uh-oh, what's that gonna mean?" Um, you can have this sense of just tension in your, in your body and not even realize that you're tensing your shoulders and things.

    13. MR

      Ah.

    14. TM

      And then get to the end of the day and you're exhausted and you're like, "All I did was sit all day. Why am I tired?" Because you can get a lot of muscle tension. Um, so those are some of the physical signs.

    15. MR

      You know, Dr. Marks, it's so interesting that you bring that up because I just have these days where at the end of the day, I feel exactly that, like completely exhausted and tense. And then I reflect, I'm like, "Mel, you basically just sat all day at your desk." Wh- why is that a symptom of, of anxiety?

    16. TM

      So if you're anxious, you... One sign of that, or one symptom of that is tensing muscles. And a lot of times, we can tense our muscles without even being aware.

    17. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    18. TM

      So you sit at a desk, your m- your neck muscles are tight, your shoulder muscles are tight. (laughs)

    19. MR

      Yeah. I literally just sat up. I'm like, "Oh my God," I'm slouched over like the Hobbit right now.

    20. TM

      (laughs)

    21. MR

      Is, and like that's probably like the, the not bad posture, but anxiety?

    22. TM

      Y- yes, because if you're stressed out, then your muscles tense, okay? And then you can carry that posture for hours. And your muscles are working. When they tense, they're working. So, at the end of the day, your muscles have been working harder than you're aware that they're working 'cause you were just sitting all day.

    23. MR

      Wow. Plus, if you're at work and you're kind of bracing, like if you're having a stressful day, that's also another form of you tensing up your muscles.

    24. TM

      Correct. And so, uh, the beauty of this is that if you are aware and understand that this is one of your responses, then you can offset it with things. So for example-

    25. MR

      What do I do (laughs) ?

    26. TM

      (laughs)

    27. MR

      What do I do, Dr. Marks?

    28. TM

      So, I had a morning where I woke up and I could barely lift my head off the bed. And I thought, "Oh my goodness, am I paralyzed?" The, the downside of being a doctor is thinking about all kinds of things. But anyway, and all it was was that I had kind of a stressful week and I had been sitting at my computer, hunched over, using my mouse and the shoulder up, and I didn't realize that that was what I was doing, that I use my mouse with my shoulder up like this. And so my neck was almost, like I could just, again, barely lift my head off the bed. So, what do I do to offset that now? I do what's called progressive muscle relaxation. Well, first of all, I try not, I try to be aware of how I'm sitting in my chair.

    29. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    30. TM

      But even, I can't, that's not perfect. So, progressive muscle relaxation is one of those body tools where you, you know, you start from either the head or the, or the foot and you take muscle groups and you contract them and then relax them. And what that does is it makes you aware of what muscles were actually tense. So, you could be, you know, you could contract your shoulders and then relax them and realize-

  3. 21:01 – 29:21

    Using Interoceptive Exposure to Manage Anxiety

    1. MR

      thing that- the reason why I wanted him to ask that is because I've been trying to help him as his mother. I'm clearly not a psychiatrist, but I've been trying to help him as his mother to untangle the physical sensation from what then happens where he then is like, "Oh, I'm anxious," and then he gets caught in telling him he's anxious and I know for me, when I used to experience a lot of anxiety, I was so scared of the feeling of being, like, anxious or being lost in my head or feeling like I was about to get in trouble or that something bad was gonna happen or could have been being afraid of, uh, getting on a plane or afraid that something would happen to my parents. Like, I could so easily get lost in my thoughts, and then once I felt anxious, I got then worse because I was afraid of the anxiety. I'll give you a situational one. So yesterday, I got an email from a business partner of mine, and it was one of those emails that just makes you go (grunts) . You know, you just clench 'cause you know that they're pissed at you. And even though I don't feel like I did anything wrong, they're really mad at me. And so there's that bracing sensation and bracing, when you get a na- a- a- an email where somebody's mad at you, is a mentally healthy response. But the challenge for me is, I have a hard time letting go of the worst case scenario in my head. What if this happens? What if they think that? What if I did something really wrong? What if I did do blah-ba-dee-blah-ba-dee-blah even though I don't think I did do that? And the getting caught in my head thinking about it then becomes the torture and is probably 100 times worse than what they're actually miffed about. Do you- do you know what I mean?

    2. TM

      I know exactly what you mean. Yeah.

    3. MR

      So can you help us understand, however you'd like to use those two examples, what anxiety actually is? And what you can do to release yourself from the grip it has on you, because I think the response happens and that's okay, but it's the grip that it holds on you that becomes problematic. Is that a good way to think about it?

    4. TM

      Yeah, that- that is a great way to think about it.

    5. MR

      Okay.

    6. TM

      Because you cannot stop the initial response. What you can stop is the propagation of the response that then turns into, um, freezing or- or lots of rumination in your head-

    7. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    8. TM

      ... and- and- and worst case scenarios and all of that. That's where it just continues from the original thing that started it.

    9. MR

      Yep.

    10. TM

      So there's this- there's this, um, intervention called interoceptive exposure. I talk about it in my book.

    11. MR

      Actually, I'm turning right to the page right now.

    12. TM

      (laughs)

    13. MR

      You're the one that- this is the first time I've ever heard of this in my entire life. It is genius. It's on page 248 of your book Why Am I So Anxious? So why don't you walk us through that?

    14. TM

      Right. So interoceptive exposure really is, what it is at a high level, is trying to get you to disconnect the physical sensations from it being anxiety provoking.

    15. MR

      Okay.

    16. TM

      Because people can get to just where you are of...... fearing the anxiety because, let's say, they feel a little churn in their stomach and, "Uh-oh, I'm going to like... This is gonna turn into a mess for the, for the next hour or so."

    17. MR

      Yes.

    18. TM

      Or, "I might have a panic attack or something." So you fear the reaction to the physical sensation. So with interoceptive exposure, you wanna identify what are some of those, um, sensations that trigger this, these responses. And then you want to purp- intentionally in a calm situation, expose yourself to those situations. So let's just say, um, you... if you notice that your heart... when your heart races, or if you feel your heart beat, that that's gonna make you worry that, "Uh-oh, you're getting ready to have a panic attack."

    19. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    20. TM

      You could do something to intentionally increase your heart rate.

    21. MR

      Oh my God. But wouldn't that make you have a panic attack?

    22. TM

      Y- you'll be surprised. When you don't have a panic attack, because you probably won't because of the situation, so do a couple of jumping jacks. Your heart's beating faster now-

    23. MR

      Yeah.

    24. TM

      ... but you're in a safe situation and you can get the reinforcement that, "Just because my heart races or go- gets faster, doesn't mean I'm gonna have full-blown panic or that it's gonna explode into, um, uncontrollable anxiety." So you're, you're exposing yourself to these physical sensations in a safe environment, and you're intentionally doing it, and then you're getting the reinforcement that, "Okay, I can handle this."

    25. MR

      So in the case that Oakley just talked about where he gets this sensation in his head, what I read in your book when you talk about this, um... Again, I wanna just give everybody the page number 'cause this is so cool. There's actually a chart for this. I'd never seen this before, it's on page 250, where you say, "Nausea, spin in a swivel chair for a minute." What does that do?

    26. TM

      So th- spinning in the, in the chair-

    27. MR

      Yeah.

    28. TM

      ... um, activates your vestibular system or, you know, your, your balance and your ears, and it can trigger that same sensation of feeling, you know, the, the weirdness in your head or like you're dizzy, um, because dizziness, sometimes people if they feel lightheaded will be, you know, like, "What's wrong with me?" And that, they become fearful of being lightheaded because... and then that makes them anxious.

    29. MR

      Yes.

    30. TM

      So intentionally make yourself lightheaded or, or have a spinning sensation to, again, reinforce the idea that it's not dangerous. You can, you can handle this, you can manage it.

  4. 29:21 – 35:09

    The Physiology of Anxiety Explained

    1. MR

      So could you just describe for us what's happening either in your nervous system or digestive tract, and why that's happening?

    2. TM

      So we have two competing systems.

    3. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    4. TM

      You have the amygdala, which is a, a, a structure in your brain that is responsible for threat detection. It detects threats and it prepares your body to be able to either fight or flee, so by increasing the sympathetic response in your body, um, so that you get increases in epinephrine and things to stimulate you to be able to defend yourself. Once that threat is passed-

    5. MR

      Yeah.

    6. TM

      ... then the parasympathetic system kicks in to calm things down. So it's like putting, pressing on the brakes. So the sympathetic system turns up the gas and the parasympathetic turns on the brakes to slow things back down to just kind of a normal resting state.

    7. MR

      Got it. So that makes perfect sense and I think we can all imagine you're in a scenario and whether it's just your mother-in-law who you can't stand and they walk in the room and you're like... (gasps) That's what you're talking about, that your body and nervous system and senses sense a threat. All of a sudden, your body steps on the gas. You just mentioned a bunch of chemicals that flood your body. Your n- heart starts racing. Why? Because you know that this person that you're now related to is about to say something nasty to you about your parenting style, so you're like on edge, you hit the gas, you're ready to go, you're bracing. That is the alarm system designed to protect you. But you also then said you have the ability to tap the brakes because when she leaves and you turn to your husband and say, "Why didn't you defend me?" Like, okay, it's a, like... Well, I'm making a joke about it. But you can take a deep breath because it's over and you go back into the present. And so, it's helpful for me to understand that you have the ability to do these two things. And you, you said earlier that anxiety can be a really good thing because if the alarm goes on and you step on the gas because you wanna do well in an interview or you need to protect yourself, then it's working. But the problem becomes, at least this is kinda what I'm hearing, that in the situation that Oakley described, that the second that his brain feels slightly dizzy, he mistakenly steps on the gas and turns the alarm system on. Is that a fair kind of way to describe it?

    8. TM

      That's very fair.

    9. MR

      Okay.

    10. TM

      Yes. And you can't always... The person can't always control the stepping on the gas.

    11. MR

      Okay.

    12. TM

      So you can step on the gas and accelerate, but then you can come back once you recognize that that's what's happening. So the key here is understanding how your brain works.

    13. MR

      Yep.

    14. TM

      So that then you can make your own interventions on that.

    15. MR

      I just had a huge, like, breakthrough in listening to you.

    16. TM

      Oh, love that.

    17. MR

      Yeah. So let me just unpack this because I think that this is really important because I have always hated it when psychiatrists have... or psychologists or medical experts have said, "Well, you know, you're never gonna make your anxiety go away," because I'm like, "I want it to go away, Dr. Marks. Like, I don't want to live like this. I don't wanna feel like this." But in what you just said, you just said that you can't actually change the things that are gonna be happening around you, whether it's your mother-in-law walking in or your boss's bad mood, and you can't necessarily change the fact that your body is wired to go from that thing to suddenly stepping on the gas. That anxiety response is potentially always gonna turn on. But what you can control is you can catch it when you feel your body go like that and you step on the gas. You can take your foot off and not accelerate it.

    18. TM

      That's exactly right.

    19. MR

      And the reason why that's actually important to me is because I've always focused on never stepping on the gas. And so allowing yourself to think about it like, okay, I'm just the kind of person that when I sense a threat or I gotta do something, boom, my body steps right on the gas, but I don't have to accelerate this. In fact, I can use the tools that Dr. Marks is gonna teach us today to decelerate and then tap the brake. Is that... I mean, that's ex- that's exciting.

    20. TM

      Yes.

    21. MR

      I've been looking at the wrong thing, Dr. Marks, for 56 years.

    22. TM

      Been f-

    23. MR

      For... Where the heck have you been, for crying out loud?

    24. TM

      (laughs) And, you know, and that's transformative. You gotta change the focus from trying to prevent the reaction to controlling the reaction and modifying the reaction so that it's not as damaging or it, you know, doesn't cause problems for you. That's what we're focusing on.

    25. MR

      I love that because I think the fear of being anxious and the frustration with it makes you just want it to disappear. What you're basically saying is, "Forget about that. Let's just learn how to decelerate."

    26. TM

      Absolutely. And that takes the pressure off you to feel like your, your, you've gotta do the right thing to get yourself not to be anxious.

    27. MR

      Okay, great. So for somebody listening who has somebody in their life who is struggling with anxiety, even just the reframe of thinking about this like, you don't have to get rid of their anxiety. You're gonna be a support system for helping them decelerate their response

  5. 35:09 – 44:02

    Exploring Phobias and Social Anxiety

    1. MR

      to it.

    2. TM

      Absolutely.

    3. MR

      That's so cool. I have another video for you. You, you were very popular when everybody, uh, heard you were coming in. Okay. So here's another video for you. All right.

    4. AA

      Hi Mel. Hi Dr. Marks. My name is Alyssa, and I am a production assistant here on the Mel Robbins podcast, and I would love for Dr. Marks to touch on emetophobia, which is the fear of vomit. Um, I've been struggling with this pretty much my entire life. I'm 23 now and I can't really remember a time where I wasn't afraid of vomit. Um, it has definitely impacted a lot of my life. Um, when I was younger, I struggled to go to school because I was so afraid of vomiting in public. Um, there was a time where I was doing virtual school because I just was so afraid of kids vomiting around me, of me vomiting in the classroom, um, and as I got older, it's still kind of prevalent in my life where I really don't like air travel, I still don't really drink alcohol that much because I just don't wanna throw up, um, and I definitely feel like it's... this fear has been holding me back in a lot of avenues of life. So Dr. Marks, if you have any advice to ease these symptoms, I would love to hear it, and I know that our listeners who might struggle with emetophobia, the fear of vomit, might as well. Thank you.

    5. TM

      Thank you, Alyssa, for that question. Actually, emetophobia is not that uncommon....whether it be emetophobia, a fear of vomiting, um, a fear of, um, (laughs) you know, a fear of embarrassing yourself in public.

    6. MR

      Hmm.

    7. TM

      Any kind of phobia i- is typically made worse by avoidance. So, the avoidance behaviors become the bigger problem-

    8. MR

      Hmm.

    9. TM

      ...than the thing that you fear. So for me, I hate roaches. And so, I could get to the point where if I try and do everything, I lived in New York during my, um, residency, and I considered staying up there because it was five years of very few roaches. (laughs) So, you know, I'm gonna, you know, craft my whole life around trying to avoid roaches. I can't do that. And now I live in the South and I definitely have to deal with them. But the point is, is that, um, you can start with something that you either fear. Phobias can also be generated from disgust, so just not always fearing.

    10. MR

      Hmm.

    11. TM

      It can be just, "It's so gross," (laughs) you know, that it's, it's an unpleasant sensation to even face it.

    12. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    13. TM

      The ... But if you let yourself move the, the world, um, to keep from having to deal and face that-

    14. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    15. TM

      ...it's gonna make the fear even worse, and then the avoidance behavior becomes the bigger problem than the original thing.

    16. MR

      I think that's a super important thing to highlight because when you say that the avoidance of it becomes a way bigger problem than the thing that you're actually afraid of, that's when it seems like anxiety spirals into something that makes your life debilitating. And one thing that I worry about, you mentioned that there's been a big rise in social anxiety. I worry when you look at hybrid work and how people don't see their friends and the rise of loneliness, that if you're also somebody that feels a little discomfort around putting yourself out there, that then when you start to avoid it, and you start to stay in, and then you're not reaching out, and then you're not going to the things you are invited to, that the avoiding of putting yourself out there becomes actually the bigger problem than being worried about what it's gonna feel like when you put yourself out there.

    17. TM

      Absolutely. The pandemic reinforced a lot of social anxiety for people. You know, people were like, "Oh, cool, I didn't wanna go anywhere anyway." Well, then now, they have a reason not to. And then now trying to, like, move past that once the pandemic was over, it was even harder for many people like that. And as we know, um, social isolation also makes anxiety worse.

    18. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    19. TM

      So it's just, it, it's a problem that just can compound on itself.

    20. MR

      What's the difference between being shy and introverted and having social anxiety, Dr. Marks?

    21. TM

      Great question. So introversion, um, is often misunderstood. It's not as though you don't wanna be around people. Um, I'm introverted, and I get my energy from having some downtime, quiet time, time to myself in my head. That's where I gain my energy. So I can get depleted if I'm out all day long and talking to people. Versus the extrovert gains their energy from the interaction with people, and they can get depleted if they have too much alone time.

    22. MR

      Hmm.

    23. TM

      So knowing that, um, being introverted doesn't mean that you've got a problem or that being around people makes you anxious. You just have to balance some time to have to yourself to be able to just think in quiet, in peace. Social anxiety is an anxiety disorder where you become preoccupied with, um, being judged and what other people think to the extent that it changes your own behavior and makes you avoid situations where you fear you're gonna be judged.

    24. MR

      Oh, really? It's, uh, it's, uh ... They're, like, kind of mixed together?

    25. TM

      They're mixed together. So it's not just that you fear or become anxious being around people. You can become anxious on the performance aspect, with performance being speaking.

    26. MR

      Hmm.

    27. TM

      Doesn't have to be, you know, playing a piano on stage. So if I've got, say ... And I, you know, I have patients who have trouble with these, like, meetings.

    28. MR

      Yeah.

    29. TM

      And so they'll get really anxious about just having to even, like, deliver or, or talk to a team about what they were doing. That would be an example of performance anxiety. Um, so with that, there's a lot of fear and thoughts in your head about what people are thinking. You're, um, appraising your own be- um, your own performance and, and just assuming that, that you're gonna mess up and have all this criticism. So that's a lot of the genesis or the, the thoughts behind what drives social anxiety, is what other people are thinking.

    30. MR

      So can you put us at the scene of what it feels like when you are struggling with social anxiety and, again, where you're putting yourself in a situation. Let's just say that your, y- a bunch of friends are, are meeting out at a bar. And they're like, "Come on out. You know, meet us after work." And the thought of that moment where you walk through the door, and the music is loud, and it's kind of a crowded place, and you're looking around, and you see the group over there, and then you immediately are like, "Ah, you know, I shouldn't have come," or, "My, my friend isn't here yet, I shouldn't go." Wh- what is happening for somebody that feels social anxiety in that kind of situation, or when they walk into a networking meeting and you immediately just feel like the spotlight is on you?

  6. 44:02 – 52:35

    Practical Behavioral Tools for Anxiety Relief

    1. MR

      So in that scenario, how do you use the tools to stop yourself from accelerating the situation and separating yourself from the sensation you feel versus running yourself over with an anxiety response?

    2. TM

      (laughs) Right. So there's kind of two branches to this.

    3. MR

      Okay.

    4. TM

      One takes a lot of self-discipline and some work behind the scenes before you get to that situation.

    5. MR

      Okay.

    6. TM

      Of changing your, your mindset about what other people are thinking, um, recognizing that you're making assumptions, you, you've got a lot of negative self-talk, working on your negative self-talk to be able to accept that... Like for example, accept that people, it's not about you, things like that. Um, and then the second part is addressing the physical sensations that you have in that scenario. So again, this is all, like, homework to do to be able to build these tools for yourself for what works for you, because what works for one person may not work for the other. So it could be... I love the vagal maneuvers.

    7. MR

      Okay, what's that? That sounds complicated.

    8. TM

      It does. (laughs)

    9. MR

      A bagel maneuver. Okay.

    10. TM

      Vagal maneuver.

    11. MR

      Is that when you raise your hand and go, "Bartender, right over here"? (laughs)

    12. TM

      (laughs) So your vagus nerve, it's what's responsible for the step-on-the-brakes response of calming you down.

    13. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    14. TM

      The parasympathetic nervous system. And there's things that you can do to trigger it, to trigger a calming response. So things like, um, cold exposure, splashing cold water on your face or chest. Now, you may not be able to do that after walking into a networking meeting.

    15. MR

      Right.

    16. TM

      Um, humming. You still may not be able to do that-

    17. MR

      Hmm.

    18. TM

      ... when walking into a networking meeting. (laughs) But that activation of your vocal cords is something that then, because of the proximity or the closeness of your, your vocal cords to your vagus nerve-

    19. MR

      Uh-huh.

    20. TM

      ... stimulates it and that could... And that's why you see people, um, meditating and making that humming, that oom sound.

    21. MR

      Yeah.

    22. TM

      It's to stimulate their vocal cords. Breathing is something you can do if you're wor- walking into a networking meeting, because it's something you can do privately. And so it's not just, "Oh, just breathe." There's certain types of breathing patterns-

    23. MR

      Yep.

    24. TM

      ... that you can employ that are calming. Two classic ones are the box breathing, where you inhale for four seconds or a count of four, you hold it for four, then you exhale for four, and then you hold that for four. Now, some people don't like that, aren't able to do it as well. I know sometimes it could trigger hyperventilation for me, 'cause I can feel like, "I'm not breathing." So there's other types of breathing. I'll, I'll give you two more. One is a four, seven, eight breathing pattern. So you inhale for four, hold for seven seconds, and then exhale for eight, and that longer exhale really is stimulating for the, your vagus nerve.

    25. MR

      Well, what I love about this is, is you're starting to really cement this theme that there are always gonna be things in your life that trigger the pit in the stomach or make your heart race or that make you jump up into your head and start going, "What if this, what if that, what if they're saying that?" That is something that is just what we all need to learn to live with, but whether or not you hit the accelerator and you run yourself over and allow anxiety to just flood you is within your control.

    26. TM

      Yeah. And, and if you're not into the counting, just breathing in deeply, slowly, and exhaling slowly, even that is helpful. Because again, when you're tense, you're breathing fast and shallow.

    27. MR

      You know, Dr. Marks, um, Alyssa's question about the, the fear of throwing up and just the idea of it making somebody anxious, we get flooded in the inbox with questions about this. Based on your 25 years of clinical experience as a psychiatrist, what are mind tools, body tools, and behavior tools that you can use to help yourself manage anxiety?

    28. TM

      Okay. So I'm gonna talk about, um, the tools and then there's lifestyle stuff.

    29. MR

      Oh, okay.

    30. TM

      Okay? So the tools are things that are kind of like based on cognitive behavior therapy that could help you, um, manage your anxiety. Mind tools, that's just kind of how I broke these things up, but the mind tools are things like, um, grounding exercises. A simple one is, you know, counting or looking in a room and picking out a color and naming all of the things in the room with that color. What does that do? That takes you out of the moment of, "What about this and what about that?" And brings you into the present moment-

  7. 52:35 – 56:40

    Lifestyle Strategies That Support Anxiety Recovery

    1. TM

      I mentioned the lifestyle stuff-

    2. MR

      Oh, please. Yes.

    3. TM

      ... as well. Because one of the biggest ways we can change how we manage anxiety or how it manages us is our lifestyle choices. Those things really do matter.

    4. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    5. TM

      And probably the biggest ones: sleep, diet, and exercise. And every time I talk about these things, I always kind of feel like I have to brace myself for the person saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that." But really, it really does matter.

    6. MR

      Why?

    7. TM

      Because ev- all these little habits rewire our brain-

    8. MR

      Hm.

    9. TM

      ... in either a negative way or a positive way. So, just taking diet, um, diet with high sugar content, which I'm guilty of, um, heavily processed foods creates inflammation in your body. It changes the constitution of your- your gut bacteria, and inflammation and things send negative signals to the brain that then make it harder to manage anxiety.

    10. MR

      So, eating too much sugar and ultra-processed foods actually increases your anxiety?

    11. TM

      Yes.

    12. MR

      Wow.

    13. TM

      And you know how?

    14. MR

      No.

    15. TM

      It increases anxiety because those behaviors send signals to the brain, they actually change your- the way your genes express themselves. It's called epigenetics.

    16. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    17. TM

      It's kind of a new topic. And so it can make anxiety worse if it affects like the genes that express cortisol production by making it overactive or underactive. So, I think that, you know, for years we've known that these things are helpful but didn't really understand how they're helpful, and these behaviors really do make a difference. Sleep. If you go without sleep, sleep deprivation makes anxiety worse at baseline. So, it's more than just-

    18. MR

      Why does it make it worse if you don't get enough sleep?

    19. TM

      There's a lot that goes on during sleep.

    20. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    21. TM

      And so just like we have to plug in our phones in order for it to work, our- our b- brains and body need a rest, because when we're sleeping there's lots of, um, regenerative functions and things that happen, and when the- when we don't have enough time for our body to kind of take what we learned during the day, file it away, then you end up with just too much... You end up with the information overload and having trouble processing it.

    22. MR

      Got it. It's almost like, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking about how much sense that makes, because if you don't get the rest you need and you wake up weary, everything around you is gonna feel like a threat.

    23. TM

      That's right.

    24. MR

      And what was the third one?

    25. TM

      ... exercise.

    26. MR

      Exercise?

    27. TM

      Mm-hmm.

    28. MR

      Okay. So how does-- how does not exercising make you more anxious?

    29. TM

      Exercise, it's probably better to think of it as how exercise reduces anxiety.

    30. MR

      Okay.

  8. 56:40 – 1:05:59

    The Overlap Between ADHD and Anxiety

    1. TM

    2. MR

      You know, one thing that I'd love to talk to you about is the connection between ADHD and anxiety seem to be this thing that goes hand in hand. And I remember when our son, Oakley, was in the fourth grade, he came home from school and he had these, like, bruises on his hands, and I was so upset because I thought he had gotten into a fight at school. And I asked him, "Oak," like, "What- what happened? What happened?" And he- he- he couldn't remember. Well, long story short, it turns out that he had undiagnosed dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD, and it was now the fourth grade, and so everything was crashing around him, and he was apparently sitting in class wringing his hands to the point where he had bruised his own hands. And when we took him in to see a, you know, a- a doctor, they were saying, "Oh, it's anxiety." And it wasn't until... And that's what got diagnosed first, and then when we went and got all kinds of evaluations done, it turned out there were lots of other things going on. And if I look at my own history, I was diagnosed with anxiety in my high school years, and the underlying issue, I believe, was undiagnosed ADHD. I was treated for anxiety for decades, and it wasn't until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 47, like the majority of women are when their kids are going through the diagnosis, and you start to go, "Well that seems a l- very familiar."

    3. TM

      Mm-hmm.

    4. MR

      That seeing the issue of ADHD for the first time was absolutely life-changing and helped me- helped me personally separate those two things. But when I think about anybody that I know that has ADHD, they always talk about anxiety and vice versa. And so, what is the connection between these two things?

    5. TM

      Sure. So yeah, they're very interconnected, kind of a bidirectional relationship, meaning one can affect the other. So, absolutely, ADHD can cause what we would consider like a secondary anxiety. So, it kind of derives from ADHD. And if you think about it, um, just the sheer disorganization of thought can make you feel out of control and therefore then create anxiety about your ability to just even, like, hold it together, to be able to perform, be productive, all of these things.

    6. MR

      It's sort of like its own type of performance anxiety.

    7. TM

      It is, like it's own-

    8. MR

      You know what I... I- I used to beat th- myself up chronically because I constantly forgot people's birthdays. But I resonate with that, because when you have trouble directing your attention and staying on top of details, you do feel like you're not on top of things. You do feel like you're screwing up. And it does create this sense that there's something wrong with you.

    9. TM

      Mm-hmm. Yeah. The- really the lack of control over your own thoughts and behaviors.

    10. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    11. TM

      Um, so another thing that's kind of key with ADHD though is... So you've got the standard, um, inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity-

    12. MR

      Okay.

    13. TM

      ... that's kind of classically defines ADHD. But then you've got the executive dysfunction. Executive functions are things like, um, time management, organization, working memory, the ability to keep things top of mind for easy retrieval later.

    14. MR

      Did my husband call you before this-

    15. TM

      (laughs)

    16. MR

      ... and ask you to have an intervention with me, Dr. Marks?

    17. TM

      I'm not telling. (laughs)

    18. MR

      (laughs)

    19. TM

      So, those activities or those- those abilities are controlled by the prefrontal cortex-

    20. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    21. TM

      ... front part of the brain. With people with ADHD who have, um, low levels of dopamine in that area, they have less ability to control those functions. So, e- emotion regulation is an executive function.

    22. MR

      It is?

    23. TM

      It is.

    24. MR

      Well, that explains a lot.

    25. TM

      It explains a lot.

    26. MR

      So, are people that have ADHD tend to be more emotional?

    27. TM

      Emotional. Yeah. So if you've got something that would ordinarily cause some level of anxiety, it can just... It can escalate in the person with ADHD because they have less ability to rein it in.

    28. MR

      That makes so much sense. So what are the key differences between ADHD versus anxiety? Because I've, you know, I've heard ADHD described as, you mentioned the prefrontal cortex and executive functioning. It's like the conductor in the brain that is basically going, "Tap, tap, tap. Uh, string session. Like you guys, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh." And then lifting up this group over here, the percussion. "You can come on now." The ability to kind of direct your attention. That switching feature doesn't really work that well.

    29. TM

      Yeah, so one more thing about the relationship. With, um, ADHD, because it ... The prefrontal cortex, yes, being the brain's CEO and the conductor. It will manage the amygdala, which is our fear center.

    30. MR

      Mm.

  9. 1:05:59 – 1:13:37

    How ADHD Impacts Focus, Motivation, and Daily Functioning

    1. TM

      I will say, it really is on a spectrum.

    2. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    3. TM

      Because, again, I'll use myself as an example.

    4. MR

      Have you been diagnosed with it?

    5. TM

      I was treated as a child, more for hyperactivity though, but yeah, I was treated as a child for ADHD, and as an adult, I still have trouble owning it because I feel like, of all the people I've treated, and I look at my son and my husband, I'm like, "I'm not like them, so I can't really have this."

    6. MR

      (laughs) What?

    7. TM

      (laughs)

    8. MR

      You're sitting here as a psychiatrist-

    9. TM

      (laughs)

    10. MR

      ... telling me that you don't like the diagnosis that you have been given-

    11. TM

      (laughs)

    12. MR

      ... because you look at your husband and your son and are like, "I'm not like those losers."

    13. TM

      (laughs)

    14. MR

      I knew I loved you. Oh my God, Dr. Marks. Even though you've been diagnosed with it, you're like, "I can't possibly have that."

    15. TM

      I still have trouble accepting that. Well, I don't, I just think I'm one of those adults who's grown out of it, but I know that I haven't and the reason is because- (laughs)

    16. MR

      I love you.

    17. TM

      I still, I recog- What it is is I recognize what my weaknesses are.

    18. MR

      Okay.

    19. TM

      So I'm a slow reader, so I could not have a job where I had to, like, put down a book every week. That, I just wouldn't work in that kinda situation. So, um, and I have trouble s- s- what we call sh- set shifting.

    20. MR

      What's that?

    21. TM

      So it's going from one task where you're into it, and then you gotta stop and go do something else.

    22. MR

      Oh my God, I say this to my team all the time. I'm like, "If we are gonna do a production day, I will tape for nine hours straight, but the second you put me in a meeting-"... and I have to look at copy, or if I have to change something on my phone, you call this set switching?

    23. TM

      Yes.

    24. MR

      And I go into a different mode, I can't go back to taping.

    25. TM

      That's right. That's right. So someone who doesn't have trouble with that can, like, work and then, "Ooh, there's a meeting. Okay, I'll stop, pick up, go to this meeting. Okay, that meeting's over. Okay, go back and jump right back in." No. So I will have, like, I don't see patients on Fridays, and that's days that I kind of do business-related things.

    26. MR

      Do you actually get anything done? Like, I get something done for, like, the first hour, and then I'm realizing I have a Zoom call and I get nothing else done.

    27. TM

      That's what ha- exactly what happens. So if I've got to take my mom to a doctor's appointment-

    28. MR

      Uh-huh.

    29. TM

      ... in the middle of the day, I know that that day is gonna be completely wasted for me. And other people will say, "Well, you had two hours before the appointment and two hours aft- so what's the problem?" That interruption will just ruin my whole day.

    30. MR

      And is that have to do with the dopamine and the prefrontal cortex being able to direct different parts of your... Is that what that is?

  10. 1:13:37 – 1:25:44

    What You Need To Know About Nail Biting, Skin Picking & Hair Pulling

    1. MR

      ADHD and anxiety, and I would love to have you talk about body picking. What is body picking and why do people do it?

    2. TM

      Yes. So, um, body picking, the technical term is body focused repetitive behaviors, and it really is its own disorder that mainly is, um, skin picking and, um, hair pulling, and those things can become really problematic for people.

    3. MR

      So, is hair pulling like when you see somebody constantly, like, twirling their hair and splitting the ends and doing stuff like this? Is that what you mean?

    4. TM

      Yeah. Well, so for the compulsive disorder of the body focused repetitive disorders, people can actually, like, pull it out from-

    5. MR

      Ouch.

    6. TM

      ... their, the root, and part of the, like, pleasure of it is actually that pulling it out from the root.

    7. MR

      Oh my gosh.

    8. TM

      So, it's not really splitting.

    9. MR

      Okay.

    10. TM

      But for people... So, there's, there's that.

    11. MR

      Right.

    12. TM

      That's compulsive disorder. But a, kind of a lower level of that-

    13. MR

      Yes.

    14. TM

      ... is general, um, body behaviors that can also include nail biting and, uh, cuticle biting, biting the inside of your cheek.

    15. MR

      Wait, so nail biting and biting or picking at your cuticles or around your fingers is, is a form of anxiety? Is like a symptom of anxiety?

    16. TM

      It can be.

    17. MR

      Really?

    18. TM

      So, people with anxiety can do it to relieve tension and be self-soothing. People with ADHD can do it for stimulation.

    19. MR

      Why is nail biting and skin picking something that people with ADHD do?

    20. TM

      Because the ADHD brain needs stimulation, and this provides sensory input for the brain. So, you could have someone who's, say, studying or watching television-

    21. MR

      Uh-huh.

    22. TM

      ... and they may kind of enjoy what they're watching, maybe, maybe not, but they can kind of get into this trance state of just kind of pulling, picking, or whatever that's stimulating their brain and keeping it active.

    23. MR

      So, if you're somebody that struggles with nail biting, Dr. Marks, what, what do you recommend somebody do?

    24. TM

      So, first of all, there's just even recognizing the habit, because some people can do it and not even really being aware that they're doing it.

    25. MR

      Okay.

    26. TM

      And then when you add on the, the time blindness or time expansion that you mentioned-

    27. MR

      Oh, with ADHD?

    28. TM

      ... with ADHD, you can think you're just doing it for a minute, and it was really 45 minutes that you were doing that thing, and now you've got sores or you've got bald spots. So, what... So, first, there's just the awareness of it, of what it is you're doing, and then being aware of any triggers that make you do it or that make it worse. It can be anxiety can make it worse, boredom can make it worse.

    29. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    30. TM

      Then, putting other things in place, we call it habit reversal. Um, putting other habits in place to replace these more destructive habits. Um, someone who, um, you know, picks their nails or bites their cuticles could either put on gloves. Like s- let's say you notice that you do this while you're watching television a lot.

  11. 1:25:44 – 1:32:16

    The Link Between ADHD, Perfectionism, and Procrastination

    1. MR

      who have ADHD and anxiety struggle with procrastination and perfectionism?

    2. TM

      So, with procrastination, um, motivation is one of those executive functions that's part of the prefrontal cortex functions. And so, you have lower motivation, um, that then makes it harder for you to get started.

    3. MR

      Mm.

    4. TM

      But also, um, another thing that can make people, either with anxiety or ADHD, procrastinate, is having kind of a, a huge accumulation of failures, (laughs) criticisms, and, and the- therefore creating performance anxiety of, like, "Well, I don't know if I can do this, 'cause I always screw this up. So, I'm just not even gonna get started." Or it's just, "The problem's just too big. I just can't do it."

    5. MR

      That makes so much sense. I mean, it ex- basically explains my college and law school careers, and leaving everything to the last night, because I would also add onto that is I'm feeling very validated by what you just said, being so disorganized, and this kind of overwhelming feeling that there's so much to do that you don't even know where to start, and then you just kinda collapse until everything's on fire and you have no choice, and then it becomes the emergency all-nighter because you have put yourself in this corner, and then you want, "I'm never doing that again," and then, of course, you do it again. So I could see how it would become a chronic problem, as it was for me. Dr. Marks, what do you recommend for somebody who is really struggling with procrastination and wants to change their behavior?

    6. TM

      So one thing someone could do, um, is what I call the five-minute rule, where you give yourself five minutes to do this thing, and you give yourself permission to stop if you don't like it or stop if it's not clicking, and it's okay. But just that inaction of making yourse- or forcing yourself to get started, you may find that then you're starting to roll with it. "And this isn't that bad. Okay, I'll do a little bit more."

    7. MR

      Yep.

    8. TM

      If not, it's okay. You still achieved something because you got started and you broke past the procrastination. So even that's still reinforcing.

    9. MR

      Terrific. Dr. Marks, if the person listening today does just one thing based on the unbelievable amount of stuff that you've taught us today, what would be the most important thing for that person to do after this conversation?

    10. TM

      Only one. (laughs)

    11. MR

      You can pick two or three. I'll give you that, okay?

    12. TM

      (laughs)

    13. MR

      (laughs)

    14. TM

      So, I think number one would be shifting your mindset from looking at a condition that you have as needing to be fixed, and instead understanding it, understanding how it affects you, and putting things in place to help you manage it to improve the quality of your life. That would be the first thing. Then, I would say I think kind of the number one, um, lifestyle choice would be sleep. I think that is the most important, with diet being a close second, because again, we can talk about, you know, what do you do if... Um, in this situation, what's the tool that you can use? And there's bunches of tools. I have over, uh, 20 of them in my book. It's about finding what works for you when it comes to the tools, 'cause not everything works for everyone, but then really addressing the things like, um, sleep and diet and exercise, and coming up with an inventory of, how well are you sleeping? What's your diet like? How often are you exercising? What's missing from this? 'Cause you can go online, you can go anywhere and find out what, what's the ideal, seven to nine hours of sleep, all of that stuff. Come up with a list of the things that you need to change to improve the quality of your life, and then just, just chunk 'em out little bit by little bit. "Maybe this month I'm gonna work on setting a bedtime. Um, maybe next month I'm gonna work on reducing the number of potato chips that I eat. Um, the next month I'm gonna go on a walk in my neighborhood once a week." You know, so make it bite-sized things so that you can have small wins, and those small wins will keep... will pull you through to ultimately getting to a point where you've made big changes in your life that then ultimately, uh, affect your brain and change the way that these conditions affect you.

    15. MR

      Amazing. Dr. Marks, what are your parting words?

    16. TM

      (laughs) My parting words are, be patient with yourself and your own personal operating system. All of our brains are unique, and if you have struggles, you're not defective, you're just different, and that's okay. And y- if you can understand your differences, you can take control over how these differences manifest for you.

    17. MR

      Dr. Marks, thank you for getting on a plane. Thank you for everything that you do to help all of us around the world, and the people that we care about. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I appreciate you, and you absolutely destroyed this today. And the reason why I wanted to say that to you is because you are living proof that everything that you spoke about today is achievable, because you showed up here worried about how you were gonna do, and you didn't accelerate the anxiety. You actually slammed on the brakes, and you met this moment, and I know that because there are gonna be millions of people that listen to this who are going to feel better and do better because of the tools that you shared, and then they are going to share that with the people that they care about, and the ripple effect is going to be extraordinary. So thank you.

Episode duration: 1:33:13

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