The Mel Robbins PodcastYour Setbacks Are Setting You UP for Something Better | The Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,109 words- 0:00 – 5:22
Intro
- MRMel Robbins
(ticking sound) Summer's supposed to be this awesome time where we relax, we dial it down. If you're lucky and you can get to the beach, that's fantastic, or a pool. But when I'm at the beach, you know what I'm thinking about? My fricking future and the endings and the beginnings. And today, I wanna throw how you believe in yourself in the middle of all these endings and beginnings. And how do you believe in yourself when you haven't even started taking the action? My guest today, she's a super close friend of mine, and she is somebody you wanna hear from right now. (upbeat music) Hey, it's Mel. I, there are so many times that I sit down and start talking to you, and I just wish I could see you. I wish you were here with me so that I could see you as we're having this conversation. One of these days, maybe we need to do the podcast live so that I could see you, or maybe we could organize a walk where we could walk and talk, because that's always been my vision for the Mel Robbins podcast. Now, when you and I met on Monday and we talked last time, it was all about graduation. That was the theme. Do not give up on your dreams. Graduation, failure is not an option. Absolutely loved that conversation, and I wanna talk about it again. (laughs) Not, not that exact thing, but about the future, because it's in the air. This time of year, everybody is thinking about the future, and some of you are thinking about the immediate future, the future that's right in front of you, and you're super excited about it. You know what your plans are. You know what you're doing. That is so awesome. But there are so many of you that are looking out into the near future and you're freaking out. Like, for example, I was just talking to my daughter this morning, and she picked up the phone, we were on FaceTime, and she had just gone for a run. I'm like, "How are you doing?" She's like, "I'm totally stressed out." And I'm like, "What's going on?" She's like, "I gotta pack up this thing. My roommates are signing leases. The lease is gonna end," and I'm- I'm- I'm thinking, "Your lease ends in three months. Like, why are you freaking out about this today?" Why? Because she's thinking about the future and she's starting to get nervous about all the stuff that needs to happen, and she's starting to doubt how it's gonna happen and freaking out about it, and- and it's kinda everywhere. Maybe just in the Robbins household, but here's another example of it. Everywhere I go with our son, Oakley, who's a rising senior in high school now, I bet you can guess the question that adults ask him. "So, do you know what you're doing next year?" Referring to college. Like, it's an obsession with adults. "Where are you going to college? What are your plans? What are you gonna study?" And at that age, I would think 99% of us are like, "I don't have a fucking clue what I'm gonna study. I'm going to college to help me figure out." If you're the kind of person that came out of the womb into the world knowing your life's mission, like our daughter did, who wants to be a singer-songwriter, boom, good for you. The rest of us morons are figuring it out for our entire lifetime. And so, every time somebody asks me, "So, does Oakley know what he's doing next year?" I say, "Yeah, he's got four schools that he's super interested in. He's got one that he's gonna apply ED, but honestly, he'd be happy at any of them." There's my answer. When somebody asks Oakley that, there's something interesting that I notice. He always starts out with the school that he knows he's gonna get into. Now, of course, there are no guarantees, but based (knocks on table) on his grades and based on just kind of how things are, pretty sure he's gonna get in. But there's a small hesitation before he tells them the school he wants to ED to. And that hesitation is because it's a reach, and so that hesitation, hiding in it is this small kernel of doubt. "Should I say this? Do I really believe that I can get in there? Do I have the right to apply to that school? Should I even think that I'm in- within the thing?" And I think every one of us has an example of that in our life, right? Where if you look out to the immediate future, there's probably something going on with you or somebody in your life where there is this uncertainty, and that uncertainty can come up as a hesitation or a holding back or being kinda quiet or shy about what you're thinking about, or it can come across as, like, a total freakout. Like, you're already worried about something that is about three months or a year away and you're working yourself into a tizzy. What's needed in both situations is believing in yourself, because when you can believe that you're gonna figure out the whole thing, uh, about moving out of your apartment, and I think why our daughter is so triggered is because she's not signing a lease in Boston. She's doing something totally different. And so, seeing her roommates sign leases for apartments in Boston certainly makes her reflect about the fact that she's not planning on doing that. She's got something else going on. And so, the freakout is also about, "Do I believe that it's gonna work out? Am I making the right decision?" And I talk a lot on this podcast episode about action, right? I'm always like, "This is not a listening podcast, you guys. This is a- this is an action podcast. You gotta do something." And I also believe that when you take action, the belief catches up. But it sure is a hell of a lot easier if you can believe in yourself along the way, and that's what I wanna talk to you about today.
- 5:22 – 10:27
Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima.
- MRMel Robbins
How do you believe in yourself, especially in a moment like right now where the future's right in front of you and it is swirling with endings and with beginnings? That's always how I feel in the summer, right? Summer's supposed to be this awesome time where we relax, we dial it down. If you're lucky and you can get to the beach, that's fantastic, or a pool. But when I'm at the beach, you know what I'm thinking about? My fricking future and the endings and the beginnings. And today, I wanna throw how you believe in yourself in the middle of all these endings and beginnings. And how do you believe in yourself when you haven't even started taking the actions? How do you believe in yourself when you don't know how this thing is gonna turn out that you really wanna do? Well, my guest today, she's a super close friend of mine.And she is somebody you want to hear from right now. Who am I talking about? I'm talking about none other than Jamie Kern Lima. She's the founder of IT Cosmetics, which she started in her living room, and she sold it to L'Oreal for a billion dollars. And here's the thing that I love about Jamie. Jamie is the queen of learning how to believe in yourself, because when she started IT Cosmetics, she was not some influencer with daddy's money. No, no, no, no, no, no. She didn't get a degree in how to start a company. She was a waitress at Denny's, with terrible skin rosacea, like the bright pink kind of breakouts all over her cheeks, and it was that rosacea that, n- and that hardworking work ethic from being a Denny's waitress that made her create her own foundation, and that was the beginning of this billion-dollar company that she created in her living room, IT Cosmetics. And I know you're going to love hearing from her, which is why I am so excited that you're here to talk to us about your journey. You are one of my favorite human beings of all time. I cannot thank you enough, Jamie, for being here as my friend and for being here as the professor on the topic of purpose and learning how to believe in yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big, warm Mel Robbins Podcast welcome to Jamie Kern Lima.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mel, thank you. Thank you for having me. This is going to be fun and real and raw, and I can't wait, and I hope it just adds so much value to everyone listening. So, I'm grateful to be here. Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
There's no question because, you know, you have those friends in your life that you don't see very often.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
But every time you do, it's like no time has disappeared, and you just have this, like, kind of twinkle on your skin because you just love being with this person. I love you so much, Jamie. I'm actually mad at you that you live so far away from me.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
So, maybe we should just start right there.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I love you. Thank you. I feel the very same way, and one of the things I want to share, I know we're gonna dive in deep on purpose. By the way, I love purpose professor. I'm like, "Yeah, let's do it."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Let's do it 'cause it's one of our biggest life questions. How do I find my purpose? Um, but I just want to say, Mel, something really important to me that I didn't want to leave here without saying. You can edit this out if you don't like it, but everybody listening needs to know this. You are one of the rare human beings that is the same off-air, behind the scenes, in your everyday life as you are in all the public things. You know what I mean? And you and I have both met so many celebrities and so many people with millions and millions of followers, and it's very rare they're the same, and I just... One of the things I love so much about you is you are even more funny, (laughs) even more intelligent-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and brilliant and kind and raw and real, um, in real life. So, that congruency is like one in a billion, and I love you, and I'm just grateful to be here for you.
- MRMel Robbins
Wow.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Just that. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
I think the episode's over now.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
No, we gotta go back in time because, you know, I think f-... One of the reasons why I wanted to have you on is because the entire mission of this show is to empower and inspire you listening to us right now to create a better life-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... whatever that means for you, to take the simple steps that sometimes feel impossible to pursue your dreams, to improve your health, to create greater connections, to believe in yourself, and Jamie truly is not only the professor of purpose, but her life story is a demonstration-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... in cultivating belief, belief in your ideas, belief in your intuition, belief in God, belief that things will turn out. And so, I want to go back in time because, you know, I've heard you on the stages that you speak around the world talk about how you started as a waitress in Denny's-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and then, from waitressing at Denny's, pursued a dream that you had of being on television-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and as a fellow former waitress, I would love to start there.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm. Yeah, waitress at Denny's, um,
- 10:27 – 12:55
Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
full uniform, name tag to prove it. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, I forgot they had uniforms.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Full uniform, uh...
- MRMel Robbins
What was your favorite thing on the menu?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Oh, gosh, I love the pancakes. You know what?
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Just, like, simple. Um, it's so funny how our steps are ordered, I think, in life.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And so often, I remember being a waitress at Denny's. I remember feeling, and, and maybe, um, maybe someone, uh, listening to us can relate to this right now. You have this feeling inside of you, like, "There's something more I'm supposed to do," but you don't know what it is yet, and you doubt it might be possible, and I remember being a waitress at Denny's and just feeling like I had these big dreams, but not quite knowing, like, "How do I believe I'm worthy of them yet?" And, um, it was this big season in my life. Uh, at the same time, Mel, the kitchen at the Denny's I worked at was a disaster. Like, they would take an hour to get pancakes out.
- MRMel Robbins
Huh.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So, I learned to talk to people so that they wouldn't leave. They often did leave. (laughs) Um, or they'd throw, like, a dime and a penny on the table and leave.
- MRMel Robbins
As your tip, as if it's your fault-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, exactly. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... that the food were, uh-huh.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
But it's so funny how, you know, years later, when I ended up launching my own business, I'm like, "Oh, I've got to get the operations right" (laughs) , "or nothing else matters." You know, it's just those little things we learn along the way. Um, but yeah, after, after that, I, I, um, I thought my whole life I would, I would have a talk show. I watched Oprah in my living room growing up, so I thought for sure I would share other people's stories with the world. So I went into, uh, you know, did all the jobs, saved up all my money to, to pay through, uh, pay for school and, and, um, push grocery carts in the grocery parking lot, slice meat in the deli, all those fun jobs, and then found myself in my, in what I thought was my dream job, working in TV news, and I thought, "This is it, right?" And what I didn't realize was I was about to enter this huge season of setback in my life-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, of self-doubt. Uh, I have a skin condition called rosacea, and for me, it started getting really red, really bumpy. Uh, and I would be anchoring the news live, thinking like, you know, "Okay, this is it. This is it," and I started hearing in my earpiece, uh, from my producer, "There's something on your face. There's something on your face."
- MRMel Robbins
Oh my God.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"You need to wipe it off. You need to..." And I was live on television, right? And I would glance down during the commercial break, and I saw, oh, the makeup is breaking up on my face, and these big, red bumps are coming through. And it started this season that felt like setback.... um, but so often in life, the, the seasons that feel like setbacks are, are
- 12:55 – 14:18
Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
actually setups for what we're called to do.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Stop right there. Did you hear that? The seasons of your life that are setbacks are often setups for what you're called to do. I wanna just make sure everybody heard that. And I wanna take a, a highlighter and also highlight something that you said about being a waitress at Denny's, and it's this. You said, "Our steps are ordered."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So, can you explain what that means, particularly to somebody who's listening-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... who may feel like, "I know I'm meant for something greater-"
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
"... why the hell am I at this step? And this does not feel like it is, like, on the path of where I'm supposed to go."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So, what do you mean by the fact that our steps are ordered?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. I believe, you know, everything in life-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... is happening for us, even when it doesn't make sense. Uh-
- MRMel Robbins
Ugh. Can we just... What do you mean happening for us?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I think-
- MRMel Robbins
So, to somebody that's, like, really in it, Jamie-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes, yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... what does that mean?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Let me frame it around our topic of purpose, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So often, people feel empty because they feel like, "Oh, my purpose needs to be some job. May- it needs to be my job, or it needs to be this, this grand thing I haven't figured out yet."
- 14:18 – 21:15
Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
But for those of us that have accomplished a goal we always dreamed of, we get to it and we're like, "Oh, this isn't it," right? It's never... In my opinion, purpose is never this, this big goal necessarily. Purpose is so often when we're able to serve the person we once were, or serve in a way for something we've gone through. And here's what I mean. Uh, I think our purpose can be like, "Oh, wow, I went through a really freaking hard season in my life."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"And I now am actually realizing I'm born to be a generational cycle breaker in my family."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
That is an incredible purpose, right? Purpose can be like, "Oh, I've been having a hard season for a long time. And when I actually just take a minute and say hi to someone else who's lonely," maybe it's like in this, in the coffee line at Starbucks, maybe it's the, the, the neighbor down the street, whatever it is. You feel in your gut a sense of fulfillment, like a sense of alignment, when you're doing something in your purpose.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I think that the big mistake people make is they think it's this end goal, right? A lot of times when people, uh, hear my story and they hear the, "Oh, Denny's waitress builds billion-dollar company," they think my purpose was to be some big entrepreneur.
- MRMel Robbins
It wasn't?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It wasn't.
- MRMel Robbins
What was it?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I- in the journey of how I did it-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... I took this massive risk, right? Taking my makeup off on national television when I was told not to, um, and, and being brave enough to be seen.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And helping other women realize, uh, that they're worthy and enough exactly as they are, seeing them as who they are. To me, that is my purpose. And in doing that, um, it just... A, a byproduct of that with IT Cosmetics is we built a company with millions and millions and millions and millions of customers. Uh, and what's wild is 5% of our customers actually have skin issues, like I do. 95% don't. It's just that they felt seen and connected with something that spoke to their soul, right? For me, being willing to say, "Here I am, exactly as I am, no makeup and, you know, all my skin issues," um, I think people connected with that, that feeling of, of, "Oh, I'm enough exactly as I am."
- MRMel Robbins
You know what else I think is a really important part of your story? It is waitressing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
It's pushing carts in a supermarket.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
It's working in the back house of a restaurant.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
That's my story too. Helping my best friend on her paper route, uh, busing tables. And I think when you work in retail or you work in a service job-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... and you feel at times invisible-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... you start to realize how important it is to treat everybody with respect and kindness.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
That there is no work that is beneath you. And when you can bring that level of service to the job that you have right now, even if you hate it, even if treat, people treat you like garbage, even if the, the, the, the back of the house is not getting those pancakes out on time-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes (laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
... and people are angry. If you can bring a sense of grace and service and just humility to those roles, I think it changes how you show up when things start working out. Because you don't ever forget what it's like to be treated like shit-
- 21:15 – 23:13
The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
worked for me, um, it'd help a whole lot of people." And that was my- my knowing, or this- this- this gut feeling. But then my head, Mel, was like, "Oh, but you got no money, you got no connections, you know no one in the beauty industry, you're unqualified." So, I sat in this place, right? And I just wanna... We're talking about purpose. I had this gut feeling, like I was supposed to go for this thing. But then my head was like, "Oh, but here's all the reasons why you're not qualified to do it. Plus, you're in your dream job," right? And I sat between those two. And it wasn't until I had this big, big aha moment of why I needed to do it that pushed me over the edge.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, so what is the aha moment?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes. So- so- so, I realized one day, I'm like, "This makes no sense. There are thousands of makeup companies out there. How does nothing work for me?" Right? Then I had this moment where I realized, I've never seen a model with bright red bumpy skin saying, you know, selling makeup. Like, uh, i- i- you always see these Photoshopped, airbrushed-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... models. And I realized, Mel, like, "Wow, my whole life, I've actually loved those beauty commercials, and I love seeing the magazines, and- a- a- and I always aspired to look like them. But- but deep down inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough."
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I had this moment, I was literally on the news set when this happened, where I was like, "Wait a minute, what if it's not just about launching a makeup product?" Like, what if I could actually figure out how to do it?" Which I had no idea how, and I had no money. It was like, "What if I could actually launch a product that works for me? And what if I actually put real people as models, like every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge? What if I use them as models, call them beautiful, and mean it? For every little kid out there who's about to start doubting themselves, a- a- and- and every grown woman who still does?" And that deep source of pain from- from- from how I was feeling not enough, and what could I do about it, that, in my opinion is
- 23:13 – 27:07
Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
one of the strongest ways to find your purpose. It's- it's, what has just destroyed you or hurt you that you've maybe made it through-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. (laughs) That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern Lima. So, again, I like to unpack these things to make sure...
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
This is a, this is a... I always say this is not just a listening podcast, it's a doing podcast. And I wanna make sure nobody's left behind.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And there was billions of dollars worth of wisdom that you just dropped. And so, I wanna try to unpack it for anybody that is listening to this, and you have this sense that you're made for more.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So, one of the things that I heard is, look in your life and see what problems, or frustrations, or things that you're struggling with that feel like a setback. And Jamie gave you the example of the rosacea on her skin, and her inability to find something that actually could help her solve this issue of being able to cover it up so that she could do her dream job. And that setback is a setup for something new. And then, get out of your own sort of selfish, or self-loathing, or the self excuses and the self-pity, and remind yourself that there are eight billion people on this planet now. There are other people that are dealing with this.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And that if you can figure out how to put your energy into making this better for yourself, and you bring other people into the fold with you, you now have something that's worth working on-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... because it helps you, and it's gonna help other people. And I also wanna point something out that Jamie will not tell you, but I sure as hell will, and that is, that this was about-... 14 or 15 years ago. So, we're talking 2007, 2008, correct?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
In my opinion, Jamie Kern Lima is the reason why we have this real beauty movement. There always has to be the first person-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and she was it. So, when you look around the, the internet and social media, and you see people doing naked faces, that was not something people did in 2007. It was all airbrush. It was all perfection. That was the beauty standard. There were no plus-size or curvy models.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That was not a thing back then. And so, you've got a woman who is sitting in Seattle, who has no experience and no money, deciding that she is going to not only figure out how to create a makeup line for people who have issues with their skin, but that she's going to do something nobody has ever done, which is put real normal people, like you and me, into her campaigns, when she finally gets this figured out, and she's gonna show people what her skin actually looks like in order to sell it. I mean, that was a revolutionary idea. She was the first. And I'm telling you this because you could be the first. You have something inside of you that is a problem, something that you can solve, and you could be the first to change the way that people think about an issue. And so, Jamie, let's pick up the story, because how do you go from this aha moment, like, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," to doing something?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause I think some of us have aha moments, right?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep, and then we doubt 'em. But we don't do anything. (laughs) Yes. 'Cause we doubt 'em.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
We doubt 'em. We think, like, "Oh, someone's already done it."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Or, "Oh," whatever. First of all, if you're out there right now, and you think, oh, you have an idea or a way you wanna show up in the
- 27:07 – 29:19
This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
world, or, or someone else you, you know, uh, uh, you wanna help but you think, "Oh, someone's already done it," literally, there's only one of you in the entire universe, which, by definition, means no one has ever done it the way you're gonna do it.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So, when I launched this-
- MRMel Robbins
Say that again, Jamie-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... for the people that are like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kids, calm down."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
"Uh, I'm... Wait, Jamie just said something. I was doing my dishes."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
"Say that again. Talk about the fact that this matters."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
This is huge because I think the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of things is we think, "Oh, someone's already done it."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"Someone's already done it before," you know, who must be smarter than me or more talented or more whatever it is than me. And, and what I have learned and then proven... And I wanna tell you too about... Ah, I'm gonna get so excited.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mel, because... No. When you do this thing, like, don't be shocked then when there's millions and millions of rejections, and people don't get it, right? Um, uh, uh, because it's never been done before, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
'Cause there's only one of you. There's only one of you doing it the way you're gonna do it. But, but just to recap that, there is literally only one of you in the entire universe, right? And so, if you are gonna show up to this world authentic, that means whatever you do, if it's authentic to you, it's actually... By definition, it's never been done before.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Right? And so, when you show up that way, don't be surprised if not everyone gets it right away or, you know, in my case, all the experts I put on pedestals all said no. That this idea av, av, of how I wanted to, um, connect with women, they thought it wouldn't work, and they thought I wouldn't therefore make them any money. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
So, but can I ask you a question real quick?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
How did you go from the aha-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... to starting?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So, what did that look like?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, 'cause I think, like, if you're in this space where y- you know, let's just use an example. You've never actually... You don't know the fir-... You, you, you have this thing about catering-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... that you just can't get it outta your head. You wanna do these events. You want... You've never actually done this 'cause you had never-
- 29:19 – 33:22
But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do?
- MRMel Robbins
start to make this real?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So, leaning on that why I had to do it-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and why it felt like it was gonna be part of my purpose-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... was a big thing that helped me actually take the risk, quit my job, and-
- MRMel Robbins
Wait, you quit your job because you had an aha moment?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. It was deep. I was like, "If I had all of-"
- MRMel Robbins
What did it feel like?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It felt like, um... It felt like if I didn't do it, I would wake up the rest of my life with this pain in my gut, this longing, knowing I was created for more. Um, it felt like if I didn't do it, I would have the pain of regret.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And if I did do it, I might have the pain of failure and maybe the pain of embarrassment and the maybe the pain of, "Oh, wow, that wasn't... That doesn't feel like it went how I thought it was..." You know, I knew it was this big risk. I knew-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... I was leaving what I thought was my dream job, um-
- MRMel Robbins
Why did you have to quit your job? Just curious.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It was literally from day one, I was all in. Like, it was... I, I dove all in. I knew if I was gonna do this, I needed to just go all in on it. Um, and, you know, I s-... I started... I do not recommend this, but I started working-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... like 100-hour weeks from the beginning. I was so freaking passionate about it. Like, I couldn't stop thinking about, "What if I can actually figure this out? What if I can literally..." 'Cause it was... it, it became a big dream.
- MRMel Robbins
So, did you have any savings? Like, did you have a little bit of savings?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Very little savings.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause you didn't pay yourself for the first three years that you did this.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
First three years. So basically, my husband and I wrote this business plan, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Um, quit our jobs, dove all in in our living room. We poured all of our savings into it. I thought, Mel... And this is, this is for someone watching us right now, I know this. I thought, "If I can figure the product out, it's gonna be huge."
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And then, I realized, like, "Oh, being an entrepreneur or, or, or launching a dream is not always that easy." We put every penny we had into it, and I, uh, uh... once we actually created a product by... And we were scrappy. If you wanna know how-
- MRMel Robbins
And how did you create a product? Like, are you in your kitchen-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... buying stuff at the grocery store? How does this even work?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Okay. So, no, so... (laughs) So, first, um, I love that, you know, technology is right there, right? So, s- researching how are makeup formulations made, who makes them, what are the FDA regulatory compliance, all the unsexy stuff I know nothing about, just diving into the research phase of, "How does this happen?" And then what I learned is that, uh, manufacturers-... are, are, are makeup companies' closest held secrets, right? Like, closest held secrets. They won't disclose who they work with.
- 33:22 – 38:12
Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
department stores and all of the online retailers. QVC, which is, you know, live television shopping channel, and I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is gonna be huge." Every single one of them said no after no after no after no. And to your point, it became three years of not being able to pay myself, three years of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of nos, of crying myself to sleep at night. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
Were you and your husband, like, fighting like crazy? Like, "You should go back to work. You should... But why did we do that?" Like, were you, like, doing that?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
You, you wanna know what it was?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
We still believed in it, but we weren't sure how we were gonna make it. It was, like, friends and family that were like, "Uh, wait, you quit your job? Are you sure you should have quit your job?" Or, "Wait, you still haven't made any money? Like, it's been three years." Right? So you hear all of this... The voices get so loud.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Um, the loudest, though, were m- my own self-doubt. You know, sometimes we take a chance and go for something 'cause our gut is telling us to do it, and then all of a sudden, you face all this opposition, and you start to question, "Is my gut wrong? Is my knowing wrong?" And there were so many times where I would literally get this... Another brutal no from, you know, Sephora or QVC or whoever it was, and I would just literally cry myself to sleep. Um, I would pray about it and be like, "God, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this, but nothing is going right."
- MRMel Robbins
So, let's just pause in that moment, because I get a lot of questions from listeners who, because of the things that have happened in their past-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... they don't know how to trust their intuition.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I get a lot of questions about decision-making and how to truly, in a situation like this, where you are burning through your entire life savings-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... you have left your dream job, you have gotten no after no after no after no after no. How do you stay connected to your intuition in a situation like that?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
What, what tool do you have, or what advice can you give to somebody who's having trouble hearing what the right decision is-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... in that kind of situation?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So, I think that intuition is like a muscle that we build-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, over time, and I think it's a lifelong journey that... You know, to really learning how to hear it and to trust it. And one of the greatest tools, I think, is to, uh, go back. Think back to times in your life where maybe you had this gut feeling to do something, and everyone around you said, "Don't do it," so you listened to them, you didn't trust yourself, and then think about what happened, right? And then similarly, go back to a time where everyone was like, "Oh, uh-uh. No way. No way." And you're like, "But I love him. I don't think he's lying."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"I think his phone really did break five times every weekend. He didn't disappear. His phone..." Like, right? Think about, like, that situation when everyone was telling you something and, and, and you didn't listen, or even your gut was telling you, right, and you didn't listen. And you think back to those times, and you start to develop pattern recognition-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, of how it felt in moments in your life when you trusted yourself or didn't and what happened, and you get better attune to what that feels like. So-
- MRMel Robbins
What does it feel like for you?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I feel-
- MRMel Robbins
In both situations, like, can you describe what it feels like for you when you're like, "Yep. No. That's a no"?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And what does it feel like for you when you're like, "I'm sticking with this"?
- 38:12 – 40:54
Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
trust myself," that's why. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
We've been trained out of learning how to do it, right? So it takes intentionality and really, um, deciding, "Oh, you know what? I'm gonna put in some time, even if it's five minutes a day, just to thinking about moments in my life where I trusted myself or I didn't." Um, and if you don't remember any of them, start now.
- MRMel Robbins
You know what you just inspired me to think about?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm?
- MRMel Robbins
I don't even know if it's possible to do this, but imagine if you could go through the rest of today and only make decisions that align with what you truly want.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm, yes.
- MRMel Robbins
If you don't want to go to that party tonight, don't go. If a friend asks you something and you feel obligated out of guilt to lend them that thing, don't actually lend them the thing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Eat what you wanna eat tonight for dinner. Don't just go to wherever your friends wanna go. Like, I think that would be a real eye-opening experiment, if you were to do that.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And you start building that muscle, right? And the more you do that... Some, some people don't even pay attention to what they actually want to eat for dinner. They're just like, "What sounds good to everyone?" But to your point, when you start paying attention-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... then you also start building that knowing of hearing your own knowing.
- MRMel Robbins
Do you think it's possible to discover your unique purpose in life if you are not connected and listening to your intention? And intu- intuition, I mean.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And your own intuition. Here's how I think it's pos- I think it's way more likely, and, and, and you're gonna actually discover more than one purpose often-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... if you're really tuned in to your intuition and, and, and you're intentional about it. But what I'll say for someone who feels like they can't hear their gut, but they still wanna find their purpose, um, uh, a friend of mine, Rory Vaden, says that, "You're, you're, you're best positioned to serve the person you once were." Right? Um, uh, Trent Schelton, our friend, says, says, "One day, the things you're going through right now will be the things you made it through."
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And what I would say to someone listening right now is look at something in the past that has broken your heart, that has caused you grief, that has been something, uh, that you care deeply about, whether it's positive or negative, that you've gone through, something you care deeply about, um, or maybe pain you've gone through, something you have made it through. I believe, often, when we go through the hardest times in our life-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... it's for one of two reasons.
- MRMel Robbins
What are they?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It is to either equip us with the strength we need
- 40:54 – 42:11
Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
to carry the weight of our success that's to come-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... to carry the weight of our purpose that's to come, or we've gone through these horrible, unspeakable times, things we would never want to happen to us again in our life, because we're actually gonna get our greatest source of fulfillment and purpose by one day helping someone else who's going through them. And-
- MRMel Robbins
I love that saying that you're best equipped to help the person you used to be.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes. Yes. Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So let's go to that moment, Jamie. You're three years in.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You've burned through the money.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
You have been told no by everybody, and even though you have leveraged all of the steps that were ordered along the way, and like an amazing Denny's waitress-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... you can talk to anybody.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
You can hustle. You can figure it out.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You have nothing but closed doors in front of you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And a ton of product and no money.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
What is the turning point?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
Why did you not give up?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So, two big things happened. The first, uh, was in the form of a crazy painful rejection. So I thought, "No." Um, so we got a call from a big potential investor-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and very famous for launching all these sort of unknown brands and making them big
- 42:11 – 44:48
This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
products we all buy in grocery stores, and, you know, and I thought... And they'd gotten a hold of our product, and I thought like, "Oh, if they invest, then A, I'm not going to go bankrupt. B, like, they c- we can leverage their, their, their clout to get in these stores that keep telling me no."
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Like, I had this whole scenario planned out that was like this Pretty Woman moment, right? Where I was like, "Oh, he's gonna save the day."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And so we started taking meeting after meeting, uh, and, and we... It got down to the final meeting with this huge investment firm, and, uh, it was in person. My husband and I actually flew to the meeting, and the head guy was about three feet from me.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And his whole team was there, who was awesome. I had just presented our whole future product pipeline, and he says, "You know, you should be so proud of this product you're created- you've created. It's really, really good. Uh, but it's a no. We're gonna pass on investing in IT Cosmetics." And I was like, "Okay. Can you tell me why?" Because I'm so used to hearing no, and I was like-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... "Okay," even though really I was devastated, but-
- MRMel Robbins
Well, yeah, 'cause they've just led you on, and you just went through it, and this was supposed to be the meeting where they're like, "Let's do this."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I was so hopeful, and I was so desperate.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And, um, he says... He got very quiet, and he says to me, "Do you wanna know, you know, do you..." Or, uh, I said, I said, "Can you tell me why?" And he says to me, "Do you want me to be, uh, really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he got really quiet, and he's like three feet from me in person, and he says, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." And when he said that to me, and this is why it was such a big moment for me, when he said that to me-... first of all, a lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt. Like, f- I remember it flooding my body all at once. When I looked at him, I actually felt no anger toward him. I felt like I was almost, like, staring my own fear, um, straight in the eye. But when he said those words to me, Mel, and this is what, this is... When we talk about purpose and intuition... He said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." The second he said that, I felt this feeling in my gut, like I can remember it like it was yesterday, this, like, strong feeling that said, "He's wrong." Like, I felt it, right? And I didn't know how I was gonna prove it, but I felt that feeling. And what I realized later when I looked back at that moment, this guy, this dude gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing in that moment. In that moment. And I believe every one of us has had someone tell us we're not the right fit, or no, or you don't have what it takes. Sometimes, we're the ones telling ourselves that.
- MRMel Robbins
I don't love you anymore.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes. Yes. Right? But
- 44:48 – 48:02
Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
if, if you get still and you learn to hear your knowing, I believe which one you listen to, if you listen to the no, all the nos, all the rejections, all the self-doubt, or you get still and listen to you, your knowing, whether that's from your own intuition, from your creator, from the universe, whatever speaks to you, but we all have it. We all have it. And I believe our, our, our, our life and our purpose (laughs) a- and our entire destiny comes down to which one we listen to. Do you listen to the no or do you listen to the knowing?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. I promised a master class. That right there is worth a billion dollars.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
In life, are you gonna listen to the no or are you gonna listen to the knowing inside of you? That's it.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
As somebody who loves you and as your friend, when you shared that story with me and hearing you tell it again right now, I literally go, "I'm gonna kill that motherfucker."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
I, I go... I have that... My knowing goes-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... "Oh, yeah?"
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
"Oh, yeah? You think? Okay. Okay."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
"Okay. Let me, let me show you." Like, it's that, like, I get that sort of mojo thing going when somebody says no like that, at a moment like that. It's like, "I'll show you."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I guess I just got, in this moment, sort of this wake-up call that my knowing often feels like, "I'll show you."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
"You missed out. You'll be sorry." What does yours sound like?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And it's almost always true. That's almost always true, right? So-
- MRMel Robbins
What does yours sound like? So is yours like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... "Hmm," or is it more of, like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I mean, in that case, I was devastated and at the same time had this strong... It's, it was just a peace. Honestly, in that moment, it was a peace, "He's wrong," and that didn't make sense in my head. Why? 'Cause I had had three years of hundreds of rejections. And this is the thing, right? Uh, Jay-Z says, "The genius thing we did was we didn't give up."
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
That's, like, one of my favorite quotes of his. In that moment, everything told me to give up, Mel. I mean, it was hundreds of rejections. And now, it felt, what felt like my last hope of desperation told me something totally different. "No, because not only do I not believe in anything you're doing necessarily, but I actually just think you're personally not the right fit. Like, women just won't buy makeup from you." It was just, like, oh my gosh. It was like all of these nos everywhere. And, and, and I wanna share that because, you know, it's easy for someone to go, "Oh, wow, she built a billion-dollar company. She must've just got lucky," or maybe she just had so many connections or... We always think... But, but, but really what it comes down to sometimes, in this case, that big moment for me, do you listen to the nos or do you listen to the knowing, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And, and, and I made that decision that day to trust the knowing, to trust myself. I kept feeling like I was supposed to keep going. I didn't know how, right? And-
- MRMel Robbins
What do you do when you don't even know the next step? So you got this kind of, you know, jerk who's like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... "Yeah, they're not gonna buy it 'cause of your body type," and this, that, and the other thing.
- 48:02 – 52:05
How do you determine the NEXT right step?
- MRMel Robbins
motherfucker."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
But what do you do next?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And, and, uh, so the next right step, the next thing that feels right when you can't even see how the heck it's gonna work out-
- MRMel Robbins
How, well, how do you even determine what the next right step is?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, you just get... For me, I just get still. I pray. I pray.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
You know that.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I pray, uh, and I just... But whether for you, you know, listening, it's prayer or it's the universe or, or-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... your intuition, when you get still, all you can do is try to listen, right? And, and try to live that answer, whatever it is, and take that next right step. And I just felt, I just had this knowing I was supposed to keep going and, even when it didn't make sense. And, and, you know, I remember crying myself to sleep. I remember writing in my journal, um, "Know your why, then fly, girl, fly."
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I read those words every day til I didn't need the reminder. Um, I would Google stories of people that had gone through thousands of rejections, who no one would know that they went through them 'cause they're so successful today, or, you know? And I just kept trying to sort of build this toolbox of things I could lean on. Um, but I-
- MRMel Robbins
And how did, how did QVC come about?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Oh, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Because you, uh, built IT Cosmetics and it became, because of you, the most successful beauty brand on all of QVC.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
You did over a thousand appearances.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So how did you even get onto QVC? Because that, in and of itself, is no small feat.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Well, you know, their, their head guy, uh, of beauty, who's like a legend, had said no to me many times. "No, you're not the right fit." Uh, and I happened to be at this, this big beauty expo.
- MRMel Robbins
And was this before or after this guy was like, "No, we're not investing"?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
After.
- MRMel Robbins
After?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
After.
- MRMel Robbins
So she has now gotten three years of nos.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
They are almost out of money. Her intuition is knowing-... that she's gonna fly, girl, fly.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- 52:05 – 58:52
Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
and, uh, you know, it's like when someone says, "Oh, DM me on Instagram." You don't know if they mean, they really-
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... mean it. Then you're on your Instagram, checking your DMs, and you're like, "Oh, they still haven't replied." And I thought, "Is that what it's gonna be like?" But she actually meant it. And I, I flew out, had a meeting with her. We got a yes, my first big yes, for one shot on QVC. And what it meant, Mel, was I was gonna get this 10-minute segment live on the air, live in front of 100 million homes, and I either had to sell enough product to hit their sales goal-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, or not come back. We were only doing one to two orders a day on our website.
- MRMel Robbins
O- (laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And-
- MRMel Robbins
One to two orders a day, everybody.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
After-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep. Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
... f- almost four-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Three years.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, three years of this.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
How... This is like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And barely keeping the lights on. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
And so now, you get this, you get your shot.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I get my shot.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, there are those moments in life.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
You're at bat.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And you gotta be ready for those.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And so, put us right there with you. What happened?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. What happened was, I was about to learn one of the greatest life lessons I've ever learned to this day, um, and h- here's what I mean by that. So, I found out I get one shot, and, uh, then I learn it's consignment, which means they, uh... So, first of all, I had to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer in this 10-minute window to hit their sales goal or not come back, which was about like 130,000, $140,000 of product in a 10-minute window.
- MRMel Robbins
I also wanna point out to everybody, that's 10 years of sales on her website at the current amount.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So, sh- in 10 minutes, everybody-
- 58:52 – 1:03:54
Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength.
- MRMel Robbins
of your lifetime on live television in front of 100 million homes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
You are doing something that has never been done on television before.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, I remember, literally, I wore two pairs of Spanx, Mel. Not 'cause I cared how I looked-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... but, like, I was so freaked out. Like, my hands were shaking, and I was sweating through my clothes, so I had on double Spanx under my dress, and I remember the moment the, the camera went live, right? And there's a big countdown clock on the floor that started at, at 10 minutes, and by the way, a minute or two before I went onto the set, I learned you're not guaranteed your 10 minutes.
- MRMel Robbins
Why?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
If you are a minute or two into your sell, and you're not hitting numbers, they know by the second. Your clock... You might think you have eight minutes still to go, and your clock will jump to one, or jump-
- MRMel Robbins
(gasps)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... to two minutes left, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause your product's a flop.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep, exactly.
- MRMel Robbins
And you're a flop.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And-
- MRMel Robbins
So, you literally are racing against the clock to be successful out of the gate. So, what did you do to, like, hook everybody? Did you take your makeup off right away? Did you, like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
What did you do?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So, so I... First of all, I, I go out of the... You know, I, I go live, and remember it was like, "9:59, 9:58, 9:57," and I'm like (gasps) , and I remember I had practiced in my bathroom mirror, right? So many time... If I had known the high-five habit then, I would have been-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... way more confident, but I was practicing in the bathroom mirror this demonstration a million times on my wrist, how our concealer doesn't crease, and the best two-selling concealers crease. And I'd done this demonstration like this, where I show it, and they all start to crease. So, I'm holding my wrist up, trying to do this as we go live to show the... But my, but my hand's like this now, and it was never, like, shaking when I was doing it a million times.
- MRMel Robbins
Meaning it wouldn't bend, everybody. Like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... she was so, anxiety-ridden-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So... (laughs) Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... that she's sweating through her two pairs of Pang- Spanx-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... and her wrist will not bend, so she cannot demonstrate that her product won't crease.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes, and the host grabbed my wrist and was like, "Thank you, sugar," and she took over.
- MRMel Robbins
(gasps)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And then I remember my bright red bare face before a shot coming up on national television. I remember walking over to our models, real women, all shapes, sizes, skin tones, skin challenges, calling them beautiful, meaning it. Uh, I remember-
- 1:03:54 – 1:07:09
Does your purpose have to be part of your job?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
through a no. Um, we learn a lesson. We build strength. We build resiliency. We appreciate the beautiful moments so much more when we've gone through the tough ones.
- MRMel Robbins
So, have you ever seen that investor since?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs) I have not seen him. Uh, the day that we-
- MRMel Robbins
Of course I ask the petty question. I'm like, "Have you ever, like, seen him do, like, twist the little knife in there?" Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
T- so, so, uh, I heard from him one time.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Never again, and it was six years later, the day that L'Oreal announced the deal. So, because they're a public company, they announced, um, you know, that they had acquired a cosmetics, made me the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand in their 107-year history. They did the big press release. So-
- MRMel Robbins
That's kinda surprising. 107 years, L'Oreal, a makeup company, you're, it ta- it took them that long to have the first female CEO of a brand?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I hope they have many more now. That is my prayer.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. You were, you were the trailblazer there too.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It's, uh, it's been, yeah, so many things. (laughs) It has been a journey. And here's the thing, Mel. It was another woman inside L'Oreal. It was Carol Hamilton who was head of luxury for North America. She'd been there, gosh, 30 plus years, and she championed-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... for me to keep my CEO title, all the things. Like, it was another woman saying, "Oh." And, and it's funny because I actually think she should've been the first woman. You know what I mean?
- MRMel Robbins
Ah, mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I think, again, um, there's an example, by the way, of, of, I believe, I'm not gonna speak for her. I believe she knows. This is my opinion. I think she probably knows she should be the first fe- female CEO. But look how she used what she went through to then boom, be of purpose and of service and help make sure that I kept my CEO title. Um, you know, everything we go through. Um, but, so, so they announced it, right? So, all of a sudden it was homepage of Wall Street Journal, the press everywhere, and that was the first time and only time since that I heard from that potential investor.
- MRMel Robbins
And what did he say?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
He said, "Congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong."
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
That's what he said. And wished me the best of luck and, uh, uh, so-
- MRMel Robbins
That's a big deal to admit you're wrong.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It is. Um, and, uh, and so when you speak about petty, so I, what I did say to him was "Thank you," but what I wanted to say (laughs) , like-
- MRMel Robbins
What did you want to say?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs) So, in that moment, here's what I thought about. I, I thought about, um, do you remember the movie, Pretty Woman, where, where like she goes in the store and they wouldn't help her?
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And then she goes back? Remember when she goes back?
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So, I wanted to say to him, "Big mistake. Huge! Huge!"
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- 1:07:09 – 1:16:36
Why rejection is really protection.
- MRMel Robbins
that you've taught me through your story and through the example that you continue to set, Jaime, is that true power and, and grace and grit and belief is about seeing that in front of you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Not behind you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That the, the rejections that you're facing right now, that you can look ahead and realize it's protecting you in this moment. Um, I had, like, a couple other questions that I wanted to ask you because after doing something so extraordinary, and you also have made a huge difference in, uh, women's lives around the world because you are extraordinarily philanthropic. $40 million worth of product and monetary donations, um, to people that are struggling with cancer, and-What is next for you?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm.
- MRMel Robbins
Because you are, right now, in the middle of figuring out, on this next leg of the journey called "life," what your purpose is-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and what your next thing is going to be. What tools are you using, or how are you thinking about it? And it's really important topic because so many people, particularly after the last three years, have had a profound life change thrust on them.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And they're looking ahead at an open road, wondering what their purpose is gonna be, what they're going to do. Can you just speak to that person for a minute-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... about how you're going about figuring it out?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So, one thing I just wanna, um, remind everyone too, Mel, 'cause I think people put so much pressure on themselves, that their purpose has to be their job-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... or their next job. And a lot of times, we can be doing a job that's fine and, and, and maybe for family reasons, we need that health coverage, and we need that paycheck. And, and, and your purpose can be found in the things you do outside of that. Right? There's a lot of ways, uh, to listen to that knowing and your gut and, and, and then when it feels right, you know that's aligned with, with who you're born to be-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and how you're born to, um, show up in the world. And so, for me right now, um, you know, there's that famous saying, "Just 'cause you can, should you." Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
There's a big part of me now with all these, you know... Could I go launch a bunch of businesses? Yes. (laughs) Right? Um, and what I feel drawn to is, is, is literally...'Cause here's the deal. Yes, I've built a billion-dollar business. Yes, I have other companies I invest in. But-
- MRMel Robbins
You also are married, and you have two beautiful children.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes, a two-year-old and four-year-old.
- MRMel Robbins
And you're incredibly, uh, devoted to your family.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm. Well, and here's the thing. It's like, that's all part of my story, but when I l- when I, when I look at my real story, i- i- i- meaning, the part that ties deeply to, to my purpose... Like, my real story is a girl who went from not believing in herself-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... to learning how to. And so, when I wake up in the morning and I think about the things I've done so far, the things I hope for my kids for i- is, is... A- and how I built a billion-dollar business, it was really through seeing women, helping them see themselves-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and believe in themselves, and believe they are worthy and enough. And that's what makes... Like, that's what fires me up every morning. So, when I think about what I'm stepping into next-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, you know, I wrote, Believe It, um, which is about, my book, about how to go from underestimated to unstoppable. Donated all the proceeds. I'm donating all the proceeds, 100%. Um, I funded leadership-
Episode duration: 1:23:13
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