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The Mel Robbins PodcastYour Setbacks Are Setting You UP for Something Better | The Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]
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CHAPTERS
Jump to publisher timestampsChapter summaries
Endings, beginnings, and the challenge of believing in yourself before you act
Mel frames the episode around seasonal transitions—graduations, moving, uncertainty—and the anxiety that comes with not knowing the future. She introduces the core question: how do you believe in yourself before you’ve taken the first step or seen results?
- •Summer as a trigger for reflection on endings and new beginnings
- •Uncertainty shows up as hesitation, silence, or panic
- •Belief is needed to move through unknowns
- •Action helps belief catch up—but belief along the way makes action easier
Meet Jamie Kern Lima: from Denny’s waitress to founder of IT Cosmetics
Mel introduces Jamie Kern Lima and why her story is a masterclass in purpose, intuition, and self-belief. Jamie’s background highlights that extraordinary outcomes can start from ordinary jobs and difficult personal challenges.
- •Jamie founded IT Cosmetics in her living room and later sold it to L’Oréal for $1.2B
- •She started without money, industry connections, or a business degree
- •Rosacea and service-job experience shaped her resilience and empathy
- •Episode focus: purpose, belief, and trusting your inner knowing
Denny’s lessons and the idea that “our steps are ordered”
Jamie shares how service work taught her skills that later became crucial—especially communication and operational awareness. Mel and Jamie expand on the belief that every step, even the frustrating ones, equips you for what’s next.
- •Feeling ‘meant for more’ can exist before clarity arrives
- •Service jobs cultivate humility, empathy, and people skills
- •“Steps are ordered”: today’s experiences become tomorrow’s tools
- •Reframing setbacks as preparation rather than proof you’re stuck
Purpose redefined: serving the person you once were
Jamie challenges the idea that purpose is a single grand job or endpoint. She explains purpose as alignment and fulfillment that often comes from helping others through what you’ve lived through.
- •Purpose isn’t necessarily a job title or big achievement
- •Fulfillment shows up as a ‘gut’ sense of alignment
- •Purpose often emerges from pain, struggle, or transformation
- •IT Cosmetics’ deeper purpose: helping women feel seen and enough
Rosacea on live TV: the setback that became the setup
Jamie recounts the humiliating on-air moments when producers flagged her skin while she anchored the news. The experience sparked a search for solutions that eventually became the seed of her business idea.
- •Public self-consciousness triggered intense self-doubt
- •She tried countless makeup options with limited resources
- •The insight: if it doesn’t work for me, it likely doesn’t work for many
- •Early ‘knowing’ collided with practical fears and imposter thoughts
Finding purpose through what hurts: turning insecurity into service
Jamie’s “aha” expands beyond making makeup—she realizes the beauty industry’s messaging made her feel ‘not enough.’ She connects purpose to addressing the deeper emotional wound and changing representation.
- •Realization: beauty marketing rarely includes real skin challenges
- •The deeper mission: representation and validation for real people
- •A purpose clue: what has hurt you that you can help others through
- •Mel reframes: your personal problem may be your breakthrough contribution
Why we talk ourselves out of dreams—and how to start anyway
They discuss a common derailment: believing ‘someone already did it,’ then quitting before trying. Jamie emphasizes that authenticity makes your approach inherently unique, even in a crowded space, and action begins with one scrappy step.
- •Biggest blocker: “someone already did it” comparison thinking
- •There is only one you—your authentic expression is new by definition
- •Expect rejection when you’re doing something original
- •Starting often means imperfect, practical steps rather than clarity
Going all-in: quitting the job, building a product, and surviving early ‘no’s
Jamie explains how she moved from insight to execution: quitting, working extreme hours, learning manufacturing, and developing formulas through iteration. Then comes the brutal reality—retailers and platforms repeatedly reject the product.
- •Fear of regret outweighed fear of failure—so she committed fully
- •How she found a manufacturer via cold-calling brands (Sephora list tactic)
- •A year of product development and hundreds of iterations
- •Three years without pay and hundreds of rejections from major buyers
Intuition as a muscle: pattern recognition, stillness, and daily alignment practice
Mel presses on how to trust intuition amid doubt and setbacks. Jamie describes intuition as trainable—built through reflection, recognizing past signals, and practicing micro-decisions aligned with what you truly want.
- •Intuition strengthens through recalling times you ignored or followed it
- •Pattern recognition: learn the ‘feel’ of right vs wrong for you
- •Noise (and social conditioning, especially for women) dulls self-trust
- •Practice: make small daily choices based on your true preferences
Hard seasons have meaning: strength for success or fuel to help others
Jamie offers a two-part framework for why people endure painful times. Mel and Jamie connect suffering, resilience, and purpose—either as training to hold future responsibility or as preparation to serve others later.
- •Hard times can build capacity to carry future success and responsibility
- •Or they become the source of purpose through helping others later
- •“Best positioned to serve the person you once were”
- •Purpose is often revealed in hindsight through what you’ve survived
The brutal investor rejection—and choosing the knowing over the ‘no’
At a critical moment, a potential investor rejects Jamie with a personal insult about her appearance. Instead of collapsing, she experiences a clear internal certainty—‘he’s wrong’—and commits to listening to that knowing despite overwhelming evidence against her.
- •A painful ‘no’ can trigger clarity rather than defeat
- •The gut-level message: “He’s wrong” became a turning point
- •Your destiny often hinges on what you listen to: rejection vs knowing
- •Rejection can be a test of authenticity and inner trust
Finding the next right step: stillness, prayer, and resilience habits
Mel asks what to do when you can’t see the path forward. Jamie explains her practice: get still, seek guidance, and take only the next right step—supported by reminders, journaling, and stories of others who persisted through rejection.
- •You don’t need the full plan—only the next right step
- •Stillness (prayer/intuition) helps separate fear from guidance
- •Resilience rituals: journaling, daily reminders, seeking inspiring examples
- •Keep advocating for what only you can see
The QVC ‘one shot’ opportunity: scrappy hustle meets a do-or-die moment
Jamie describes how she finally got a meeting with QVC by pushing past previous rejections at a major industry event. The opportunity was high stakes: a single 10-minute live segment with strict sales targets and enormous risk if it failed.
- •She pursued QVC in person after repeated remote ‘no’s
- •The breakthrough came from direct connection with a buyer
- •One 10-minute live segment in 100 million homes
- •High sales threshold with low existing volume (1–2 orders/day)
Authenticity vs expert advice: the live-TV gamble that changed everything
With a bank loan and everything on the line, Jamie rejects conventional advice to use flawless models and instead commits to real people and real skin. The first segment sells out, validating her mission and turning years of rejection into a platform for scale.
- •Consignment risk: failure would mean taking inventory back and likely bankruptcy
- •22 banks said no; the 23rd funded the purchase order
- •Experts urged ‘perfect’ models; Jamie chose real women and real skin
- •The segment sold out—launching a historic run and proving authenticity wins
Rejection as protection and purpose beyond your job
They reflect on how early ‘no’s protected Jamie from unfavorable deals and built her strength. Jamie emphasizes that purpose doesn’t have to be your job and shares how she’s navigating her next chapter through alignment and impact.
- •“Thank God he didn’t invest”—rejection can preserve your future upside
- •Reframing: rejection as protection and redirection
- •Purpose can exist outside your job and evolve across life seasons
- •Next chapter focus: helping people (especially women) believe in themselves
Advocate for your knowing, build supportive friendships, and ask Jamie your questions
Mel and Jamie close with a call to defend your inner vision because others can’t see it yet. They highlight the importance of relationships that pull you toward your future, then invite listeners to submit questions for a follow-up episode.
- •Your knowing is yours—others’ ‘no’ often reflects their limits, not your truth
- •Advocacy is required: keep describing and demonstrating your vision
- •Choose friends who pull you into who you’re becoming
- •Listener call-to-action: post “QUESTION FOR JAMIE” for a Q&A episode
Publisher timestamps
- 0:00Intro
- 5:22Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima.
- 10:27Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s.
- 12:55Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks.
- 14:18Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose.
- 21:15The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful.
- 23:13Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with.
- 27:07This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.
- 29:19But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do?
- 33:22Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in.
- 38:12Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle.
- 40:54Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times.
- 42:11This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going.
- 44:48Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose.
- 48:02How do you determine the NEXT right step?
- 52:05Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections.
- 58:52Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength.
- 1:03:54Does your purpose have to be part of your job?
- 1:07:09Why rejection is really protection.
