The Mel Robbins PodcastYour Setbacks Are Setting You UP for Something Better | The Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]
CHAPTERS
Endings, beginnings, and learning to believe in yourself before you act
Mel sets up the core question: how do you believe in yourself when the future feels uncertain and you haven’t taken action yet? She uses summer “endings and beginnings” and her kids’ real-life stress as examples of doubt showing up as hesitation or panic.
- •Summer as a trigger for reflecting on the future and change
- •Doubt appears as hesitation, holding back, or full-on anxiety
- •Belief matters both for excitement and for overwhelm
- •Action helps belief catch up—but belief along the way makes it easier
- •Episode promise: tools for self-belief during uncertainty
Meet Jamie Kern Lima: from Denny’s waitress to IT Cosmetics founder
Mel introduces her close friend Jamie Kern Lima and frames her as a model for building self-belief. Jamie’s background—waitressing at Denny’s with rosacea and no industry connections—sets up the credibility of her journey.
- •Jamie founded IT Cosmetics in her living room and later sold to L’Oréal for $1.2B
- •She started without money, influence, or a business pedigree
- •Rosacea and service-job work ethic were central to her origin story
- •Mel positions Jamie as a “professor” on purpose and belief
- •Friendship rapport and intent for a real, raw conversation
The Denny’s season: ‘our steps are ordered’ and setbacks as setups
Jamie reflects on feeling called to ‘something more’ while working service jobs, and how those experiences quietly trained her for later success. Mel pulls out the themes: seasons that feel like setbacks often become the setup, and every step gives you tools for the next one.
- •Feeling ‘meant for more’ before knowing what it is
- •Service work teaches resilience, communication, humility, and operations
- •‘The seasons that feel like setbacks are setups’
- •‘Our steps are ordered’—nothing is wasted
- •Reframing current frustration as skill-building for future purpose
Red bumps on live TV: the on-air crisis that sparked a mission
Jamie describes anchoring the news while her rosacea broke through makeup and producers told her ‘something is on your face.’ The humiliation and fear triggered a search for solutions—and the first spark of an idea that could help others too.
- •Live television pressure and public vulnerability
- •Makeup failing on camera intensifies self-doubt
- •Searching across brands and price points for a product that works
- •Idea emerges: if it doesn’t work for me, it may not work for many
- •Early tension between gut instinct and ‘I’m unqualified’ thoughts
Purpose redefined: serving the person you once were
Jamie challenges the idea that purpose is a single job title or grand goal. She defines purpose as service—often rooted in what you struggled through—and explains how ‘being brave enough to be seen’ became her true purpose, with business success as a byproduct.
- •Purpose isn’t necessarily your job or a big external goal
- •Alignment feels like fulfillment in your gut
- •Purpose can be breaking cycles, easing loneliness, helping others through pain
- •Jamie’s purpose: helping women feel worthy and enough as they are
- •‘Real beauty’ as a mission, not a marketing tactic
From ‘aha’ to action: quitting the dream job and going all-in
Mel presses for the practical bridge between insight and execution. Jamie explains she quit TV because the regret of not trying felt worse than the risks of failing, then poured intense effort into learning an industry she knew nothing about.
- •Regret as a stronger pain than potential failure or embarrassment
- •Quitting as a commitment mechanism (‘all in’ from day one)
- •Minimal savings and three years without pay
- •Early-stage obsession and extreme work weeks (with a caution)
- •Building belief by anchoring to a deep ‘why’
Scrappy product creation: finding manufacturers and building the first formula
Jamie details the unglamorous mechanics: research, compliance, and the hunt for a manufacturer. She explains how she reverse-engineered the industry by cold-calling brands and finally securing a small manufacturer willing to make samples.
- •Learning formulation, compliance, and how the beauty supply chain works
- •Reality: many brands rely on a small number of manufacturers
- •Scrappy tactic: list every Sephora brand, cold-call for manufacturer leads
- •Hundreds of iterations before a product that worked for her skin
- •All available funds went into product development and advisory support
Three years of ‘no’: rejection, self-doubt, and staying connected to intuition
After building the product, Jamie is rejected repeatedly by retailers and QVC, while finances tighten and external voices get loud. Mel pivots to a key lesson: how to trust intuition and decision-making when everything looks like evidence you’re wrong.
- •Rejection from major retailers and platforms despite a working product
- •Family/friends’ skepticism vs. the loudest voice: your own doubt
- •Intuition as a muscle built through reflection and pattern recognition
- •Women socialized to doubt themselves and decide by consensus
- •Practical exercise: spend a day making decisions aligned with what you want
Hard times, purpose, and the two reasons suffering can shape your calling
Jamie gives a framework for meaning-making in adversity: hardships can equip you to carry future success or position you to help others through similar pain. She reiterates the idea of serving the person you once were as a pathway to purpose.
- •Look back at what broke your heart or what you’ve made it through
- •Hard seasons can build strength to ‘carry the weight’ of success
- •Or they can become your source of fulfillment through helping others
- •Purpose can be discovered even if you can’t yet ‘hear your gut’ clearly
- •Reframing present struggle as future service and capability
The brutal investor rejection: ‘women won’t buy from someone who looks like you’
At a desperate moment, a potential investor rejects Jamie and attacks her appearance and weight. The comment triggers a defining internal response—her ‘knowing’—that he is wrong, setting up a core theme: you choose whether to listen to ‘no’ or to knowing.
- •A high-stakes meeting ends with a personal, body-based rejection
- •Jamie experiences a flood of old insecurities—and then a clear inner signal
- •‘This dude gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing’
- •Your destiny often hinges on which voice you follow: rejection or knowing
- •Rejection as fuel for resolve rather than a verdict on your worth
Finding the next right step: stillness, prayer, and a resilience toolbox
Mel asks what to do when you believe but can’t see the path. Jamie explains her process: get still, pray (or use your own grounding practice), take the next right step, and reinforce belief with reminders and stories of others who endured rejection.
- •How to choose the ‘next right step’ without full visibility
- •Stillness as a way to access intuition and clarity
- •Daily practices: journaling, repeating anchors (‘Know your why, then fly’), learning from others’ rejections
- •Separating expert opinions from inner truth
- •Persistence as an active practice, not a personality trait
The QVC breakthrough: one 10-minute do-or-die shot after endless no’s
Jamie finally meets a QVC buyer in person at a beauty expo and gets a single on-air opportunity. The stakes are extreme: sell 6,000 units in 10 minutes (on consignment) or potentially go out of business, forcing her to bet everything on one moment.
- •Showing up in rooms where everyone has already said no
- •In-person connection changes the trajectory: first meaningful ‘yes’
- •High-pressure terms: consignment and massive sales targets
- •Reality check: their website was only doing 1–2 orders per day
- •Preparation for ‘at-bat’ moments when opportunity finally appears
Authenticity vs. expert advice: real models, bare face, and proving it live
To fund inventory, Jamie gets rejected by 22 banks and finally secures a loan from the 23rd. Consultants advise conventional beauty standards, but Jamie chooses authenticity—real models and showing her own skin—arguing that inauthenticity guarantees failure even if authenticity doesn’t guarantee success.
- •Financing hurdle: 22 bank no’s, 23rd bank yes
- •Consultants push flawless, uniform, ‘safe’ modeling choices
- •Jamie’s strategy: demonstrate on real women and reveal real skin
- •Emotional truth: anxiety, tears, and second-guessing right up to airtime
- •Core maxim: authenticity can’t be faked; inauthenticity guarantees failure
Sold out on live TV: turning rejection into strength and protection
Jamie recounts the first QVC segment—the shaking hands, the countdown clock, and the fear of being cut early if sales lag. The product sells out, leading to hundreds of appearances and the biggest beauty brand in QVC history, and she reframes past rejections as protection that preserved ownership and leverage.
- •QVC’s real-time performance pressure and shortened segments if numbers miss
- •On-air vulnerability and the moment the sold-out sign appears
- •Momentum: one airing becomes many, then hundreds per year
- •Rejection as protection (avoiding desperate deals and losing ownership)
- •L’Oréal acquisition: $1.2B and validation of the original ‘knowing’
Purpose beyond your job: Jamie’s next chapter, friendships, and advocating for your knowing
The conversation widens to life after major success: purpose doesn’t have to equal your job, and clarity can be a ‘fuzzy target’ you refine through small steps. They discuss friendships that pull you into who you’re becoming, and Mel highlights the responsibility to advocate for your knowing until others can see it too.
- •Your purpose can live outside your paycheck or next job
- •Avoid ‘waiting for perfect’ as a disguised excuse; move with small steps
- •Aim refinement metaphor: adjust before releasing the arrow
- •Friends can pull you into your future vs. keeping you in your past
- •Advocacy: rejections happen because it’s your knowing—not theirs
Listener surprise and closing: ‘Question for Jamie’ and worthiness reminder
Mel announces a follow-up episode where Jamie will answer audience questions collected in the comments. They close with affirmations of worthiness, grace, and shared humanity, followed by the standard podcast disclaimer and subscription outro.
- •Call to action: comment ‘QUESTION FOR JAMIE’ to submit questions
- •Promise of a dedicated Q&A follow-up episode
- •Final reinforcement: you’re worthy of your hopes, dreams, and love
- •Encouragement to take action and keep going
- •Educational/disclaimer language and wrap-up
