Beauty Standards, Twitter & AI Girlfriends - Mark Normand

1. 0:00 – 1:10

   Intro

   1. MNMark Normand0:00

      If I kiss you, that doesn't make me gay. I just did a gay thing for a second. And if I make a racist joke or say a, a, a bad word, I don't mean that thing, I just did it for a second.

   2. CWChris Williamson0:10

      (laughs)

   3. MNMark Normand0:10

      You see what I'm saying?

   4. CWChris Williamson0:11

      Yeah. But how many gay things do you have to do before you become gay?

   5. MNMark Normand0:14

      I think it's all up here, it's like being a woman. I- you identify.

   6. CWChris Williamson0:17

      So you can suck a (beep) and be straight?

   7. MNMark Normand0:18

      Yeah.

   8. CWChris Williamson0:19

      Yeah?

   9. MNMark Normand0:19

      'Cause sucking (beep) is, it's just a physical act.

   10. CWChris Williamson0:22

       Right.

   11. MNMark Normand0:22

       But actually wanting to suck a (beep) , that's when you're gay.

   12. CWChris Williamson0:25

       Interesting.

   13. MNMark Normand0:26

       Blow, you could blow me right now and I won't call you gay, I promise.

   14. CWChris Williamson0:31

       (laughs)

   15. MNMark Normand0:32

       Wait, are we on?

   16. CWChris Williamson0:34

       Yeah, sure.

   17. MNMark Normand0:34

       Oh, geez, I didn't know that. All right.

   18. CWChris Williamson0:36

       Let's say that we're on.

   19. MNMark Normand0:37

       Okay.

   20. CWChris Williamson0:37

       Marc Norman, welcome to the show.

   21. MNMark Normand0:38

       Hey, comedy.

   22. CWChris Williamson0:39

       (laughs)

   23. MNMark Normand0:39

       Uh, I didn't know if I was gonna trash those other comics you just mentioned, so I had to, had to make sure.

   24. CWChris Williamson0:44

       (laughs)

   25. MNMark Normand0:44

       Um, good to be here.

   26. CWChris Williamson0:45

       Thanks, man.

   27. MNMark Normand0:46

       New studio.

   28. CWChris Williamson0:47

       Uh, yeah, different. We're in a new place. I like this place, it's very, very cool.

   29. MNMark Normand0:50

       Sexy.

   30. CWChris Williamson0:50

       Yeah, it is. It's kind of like what I imagine the inside of a, of a dildo looks like.
2. 1:10 – 3:25

   What People Don’t Know About Life on Tour

   1. MNMark Normand1:11

   2. CWChris Williamson1:11

      What do people who have never been on tour, that look at comedians that are traveling the world and think, "Oh, that's cool."

   3. MNMark Normand1:16

      Yeah.

   4. CWChris Williamson1:16

      "That'd be good to do." What do they not know about what tour life's actually like?

   5. MNMark Normand1:20

      Well, there's, there's a couple different kind, there's the... And the two extremes would be Segura and Bert, which and they're friends, they're yin and yang and, uh, Bert is a drunk, fat guy who's partying, whereas Segura has a trainer every morning at 8:00 AM. He doesn't really drink, he eats well, he, he's, uh, playing the piano, he's writing. So that's really the tour life, you know, just which one are you on that spectrum? And I, I'm more towards Bert and I'm worried 'cause I'm gonna die. But that's really, that's really what it is. Touring is grueling and it looks fun, we show you Instagram of us on a jet or, or at the big arena with the chandelier and the, the, the curtains, but it's a lot of get up, "What are we doing today? Oh, we gotta go to the airport. Oh, the airport's in a different language, we gotta figure this out." It, it's a lot of logistics and that part sucks.

   6. CWChris Williamson2:14

      It's-

   7. MNMark Normand2:14

      But it's fun.

   8. CWChris Williamson2:15

      Yeah, I, I don't know, I guess the reality from the outside is tons of travel.

   9. MNMark Normand2:19

      Yeah.

   10. CWChris Williamson2:19

       Loads of packing and unpacking.

   11. MNMark Normand2:21

       Yes.

   12. CWChris Williamson2:21

       Being in and out of hotels.

   13. MNMark Normand2:23

       Nightmare, it's all a blur. It's like that montage in Fight Club where he's just going from place to place and you're like, "Who am I? Where am I? What's going on? Uh, I gotta write a new joke. Is that joke..." So you, you're on the flight and any moment you have, you're like, "All right, I gotta rest and think about my act."

   14. CWChris Williamson2:38

       Yeah. I, I, I guess, um, Ryan Long was talking about this as well, the, the reality of tour life is so different to what people sort of idealize it as.

   15. MNMark Normand2:46

       Oh, yeah.

   16. CWChris Williamson2:46

       And what I think most guys are doing at the moment is these little weekends, right? You just-

   17. MNMark Normand2:50

       Yeah.

   18. CWChris Williamson2:50

       ... jump out, spend a weekend, two nights, three nights if you can.

   19. MNMark Normand2:53

       Mm-hmm.

   20. CWChris Williamson2:54

       And then you come back and it's like, "I kind of have a life, but then I don't have a life and then I-"

   21. MNMark Normand2:57

       Yes.

   22. CWChris Williamson2:57

       "... have a life and I don't." But you're going to Australia?

   23. MNMark Normand2:59

       I'm going to Australia for a month, but those weekends are, that's ideal because you get to escape. You hate your girlfriend, you hate your husband, you hate your wife, you hate your apartment, you hate your city. I live in New York and it's just hobos and, and shit on the street and subways. So then you get to go to Denver and you're like, "Ooh, I'll smoke weed."

   24. CWChris Williamson3:16

       (laughs)

   25. MNMark Normand3:16

       "I'll go get a hike, I'll do shows and then I'll come back." So it's perfect. It's like a built-in marriage saver.

   26. CWChris Williamson3:23

       Have you heard of digital blackface?

3. 3:25 – 7:53

   We Need to Stop Using Digital Blackface

   1. CWChris Williamson3:25

   2. MNMark Normand3:25

      Ooh, wait a minute. Is that where you act Black online?

   3. CWChris Williamson3:30

      Kind of, yeah. So this is from CNN, "'If you're white and you've posted a GIF or a meme of a Black person to express a strong emotion, you may be guilty of wearing digital blackface,' writes John Blake. Maybe you shared that viral video of Kimberly 'Sweet Brown' Wilkins telling a reporter after narrowly escaping an apartment fire, 'Ain't nobody got time for that.'"

   4. MNMark Normand3:49

      (laughs)

   5. CWChris Williamson3:50

      "Perhaps you posted that meme of supermodel Tyra Banks exploding in anger on America's Next Top Model. If you're Black and you've shared such online images, you get a pass. But if you're white, you may have inadvertently perpetuated one of the most insidious forms of contemporary racism, you may be wearing digital blackface. Simply put, digital blackface is 21st century min- minstrelsy." Minstrels-

   6. MNMark Normand4:12

      Minstrel.

   7. CWChris Williamson4:12

      Minstrelsy.

   8. MNMark Normand4:13

      Minstrelsy.

   9. CWChris Williamson4:14

      Yeah.

   10. MNMark Normand4:14

       Wow. I mean, I thought I was being inclusive by adding some Black people in my memes and my GIFs. Isn't that diverse? I'm diversifying my GIFs.

   11. CWChris Williamson4:22

       Appropriating.

   12. MNMark Normand4:23

       I guess so, geez.

   13. CWChris Williamson4:25

       I asked Jordan Peterson what, uh, color emoji he uses.

   14. MNMark Normand4:28

       (laughs)

   15. CWChris Williamson4:28

       And he, and he said Black. (laughs)

   16. MNMark Normand4:29

       Oh, really? (laughs) That's funny. You can't get in trouble. I mean, we're all using the eggplant, that's black.

   17. CWChris Williamson4:35

       Is it? Oh, do you mean based on size?

   18. MNMark Normand4:37

       Size and, you know, it's a dark shade of purple.

   19. CWChris Williamson4:40

       Hue?

   20. MNMark Normand4:40

       But, you know, mulignan is what Italians call Black people, and that means eggplant. That's the, uh, that's the N word-

   21. CWChris Williamson4:46

       You're kidding me.

   22. MNMark Normand4:46

       ... for Italians.

   23. CWChris Williamson4:47

       You're kidding me.

   24. MNMark Normand4:48

       Yeah.

   25. CWChris Williamson4:48

       And it's what? Mu- mu-

   26. MNMark Normand4:49

       Mulignan. Like, "These mulignans over here stole our truck." That's-

   27. CWChris Williamson4:54

       And it means eggplant in Italian?

   28. MNMark Normand4:55

       It means eggplant in Italian, but that's their N word.

   29. CWChris Williamson4:58

       Wow.

   30. MNMark Normand4:58

       Oh, yeah.
4. 7:53 – 18:29

   Dove’s Quest for Realistic Beauty Standards in Gaming

   1. CWChris Williamson7:53

      sent you, earlier on, a video about Dove.

   2. MNMark Normand7:56

      Yeah, that was great.

   3. CWChris Williamson7:58

      So for the people who haven't seen it, Dove is on a mission to challenge and change female representation in video games and help make gaming a positive space for women and girls, so they've created this video of a, like superhero, girl superhero, and they, she slays this, this evil baddie and then she gets back into the changing room and takes her armor off and gains 80 pounds.

   4. MNMark Normand8:20

      Yeah, that was odd.

   5. CWChris Williamson8:21

      Im- Immediately. And then like sits down, puts her hands behind her back and realizes, "I don't need to wear the armor that is holding me in." And then she goes out and like keeps on fighting but now she's 80 pounds bigger.

   6. MNMark Normand8:31

      Yeah.

   7. CWChris Williamson8:31

      Um, female characters in games do not accurately represent the diverse gamers of the world and are often heavily sexualized and created within narrow, unrealistic beauty standards. 74% of girls feel unrepresented in video games. Um, I'm looking forward to the Call of Duty Lizzo skin dropping.

   8. MNMark Normand8:49

      (laughs)

   9. CWChris Williamson8:49

      I wanna unlock, I wanna unlock Lizzo from Call of Duty. (laughs)

   10. MNMark Normand8:52

       It's too big of a target.

   11. CWChris Williamson8:54

       (laughs)

   12. MNMark Normand8:54

       For terrorists it's too easy. But here's my thing with it, a couple of things. I love the idea of the animator being like, the director's like, "We need her fatter." He's like, "Ah, shit, all right."

   13. CWChris Williamson9:02

       (laughs)

   14. MNMark Normand9:02

       So he has to make her bigger. But also, I get it, look it's all, I'm all about helping women and having them being represented, but aren't we going... It's, it's getting hackey now. Like, Miller Lite, Bud Light, all these, uh, Starbucks had a big commercial with the trans, and you're like, "Well now it's just hack." The whole thing with the marketing and, and, uh, stuff like this, like this kind of art, you gotta go a new way. Isn't that the whole point of, uh, being original? Like, y- when they zig you zag and they're all zagging.

   15. CWChris Williamson9:33

       Everybody's going in the same direction.

   16. MNMark Normand9:34

       Yeah, so like, to me, it's not even about the, the woke shit or whatever you wanna call it, it's like, you're just being unoriginal now.

   17. CWChris Williamson9:41

       It's boring.

   18. MNMark Normand9:42

       It's boring.

   19. CWChris Williamson9:42

       Well, I think the main concern that people have-

   20. MNMark Normand9:44

       And predictable.

   21. CWChris Williamson9:44

       ... it's kind of the same as the, uh, like supply demand problem for racism, which is, it doesn't seem genuine.

   22. MNMark Normand9:51

       Yes, it's forced.

   23. CWChris Williamson9:52

       Yeah.

   24. MNMark Normand9:53

       Completely forced, completely, what do you call that? Uh, starts with a C.

   25. CWChris Williamson9:58

       Contrived?

   26. MNMark Normand9:58

       Thank you. You nailed it.

   27. CWChris Williamson10:00

       Fuck yeah.

   28. MNMark Normand10:01

       Wow.

   29. CWChris Williamson10:01

       What's happening? What's happening together?

   30. MNMark Normand10:03

       Yeah. Where our periods are synced.
5. 18:29 – 28:11

   How Mark Stays Positive in Today’s Society

   1. CWChris Williamson18:29

      You seem to be quite a positive person generally.

   2. MNMark Normand18:32

      Yeah, yeah, I think so.

   3. CWChris Williamson18:33

      How do you avoid getting drawn into cynicism and there is this sort of culture of negativity and, and cynicism-

   4. MNMark Normand18:41

      Yeah.

   5. CWChris Williamson18:41

      ... on the internet. What's your prophylactic against that? What do you... what, what condom are you wearing?

   6. MNMark Normand18:45

      Well, I hear the, uh, the old post and ghost. I- I'm big on that and uh-... my friend, he works with Louis C.K. a lot, so he gets a lot of hate, you know. So he just started blocking everybody and he's like, "I don't even hear them anymore. Like, anybody who says one thing, I just start blocking them on Twitter or whatever." And, uh, so it just eventually he kind of like cleaned it out.

   7. CWChris Williamson19:06

      Mm-hmm.

   8. MNMark Normand19:06

      And I'm like, "That's pretty good, but you still have to go in and, and read it to block it."

   9. CWChris Williamson19:10

      Yep.

   10. MNMark Normand19:10

       So I don't wanna do that, so I just kind of, I let it go and I'm, there's, I'm sure there's fires going on all over and I just try to put it out of my mind.

   11. CWChris Williamson19:18

       And that protects your mental space relatively well, it seems?

   12. MNMark Normand19:22

       Relatively well. I mean, I've definitely had my, my weeks of like sleepless nights where I'm like, "This guy said this." Ugh, it taps into some fucked up thought you had about yourself and it validates all the evil thoughts you have and then it just, it just mushroom clouds in your brain and you're in the shower going, "Uh, maybe I am attracted to kids," you know?

   13. CWChris Williamson19:41

       (laughs)

   14. MNMark Normand19:41

       Or whatever the fuck. And I'm, I'm not but, uh, you know, people can just get in your head and... You know, w- when I was 15 I was like, "Am I gay? Maybe I'm gay. Am I gay?" And I had this friend who was super hot and ripped and I blew up. No. But I had this friend, he was super hot and I kept being like, "Am I attracted to him? I don't know. I don't know." And it's the sa-... You can do that with anything. Like, "Am I racist? What the hell?" And I'm like hanging out with a bunch of Black guys last night at The Mothership and you're just like, "What am I t-... I'm not racist." But you just, your brain can go to these fucked up places, especially mine. Mine can really turn on me.

   15. CWChris Williamson20:15

       It's so funny that you can question your own like sense of self-

   16. MNMark Normand20:20

       Completely.

   17. CWChris Williamson20:20

       ... because of what somebody's just prodded or poked you in the direction-

   18. MNMark Normand20:24

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson20:24

       ... of at the right time.

   20. MNMark Normand20:24

       And that's really what Twitter is. It's this weird little prodding and, uh, as Colin Quinn describes it as you're giving yourself schizophrenia because it's literally eight million opinions and you're just absorbing all of them. And that's what schizophrenia is, just 800 voices going off all the time and you're like-

   21. CWChris Williamson20:40

       Crowdsourcing personal insults from the internet.

   22. MNMark Normand20:42

       (laughs) Yes, yes. Exactly.

   23. CWChris Williamson20:43

       Yeah. What was it that Sam, Sam Harris said? That, um, uh, being on Twitter is like the most malignant form of telepathy ever that only allows you into the worst of everybody else's thoughts.

   24. MNMark Normand20:52

       Wow.

   25. CWChris Williamson20:53

       Like, classic, classic wordsmithing from-

   26. MNMark Normand20:56

       He's the king.

   27. CWChris Williamson20:56

       ... Mr. Harris. Yeah.

   28. MNMark Normand20:57

       He is the best. I mean, there's not a lot of positivity. There's not a lot of like, "I had a great day today. Just had a hell of a turkey sandwich and I got a great... My ass got eaten."

   29. CWChris Williamson21:05

       (laughs)

   30. MNMark Normand21:05

       You don't really see that on Twitter, you know? It's just, you know, "Ah, this guy's racist. He's a b- a piece of shit." Whatever.
6. 28:11 – 36:55

   Sexy, Playful AI Girlfriends

   1. CWChris Williamson28:11

   2. MNMark Normand28:11

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson28:11

      AI companions are being created to fill the role of sexy and playful girlfriend.

   4. MNMark Normand28:17

      Uh-oh. This is bad.

   5. CWChris Williamson28:17

      Amouranth is an OnlyFans content creator who is one of the most followed women on Twitch, and now she's releasing an AI companion of herself called AI Amouranth so her fans can interact with a version of her. They can chat with her, ask questions, and even receive voice, voice responses.

   6. MNMark Normand28:32

      Oh, no. I mean, guys are fucked.

   7. CWChris Williamson28:34

      (laughs)

   8. MNMark Normand28:34

      Young dudes are fucked. It's not good because you used to, young, uglier, you know, what is it? The top percentag- 10% of guys who all get laid, and then the rest are just incels, school shooters, and, uh, you know, basement dwellers.

   9. CWChris Williamson28:48

      McMillan fans.

   10. MNMark Normand28:48

       Yeah. (laughs)

   11. CWChris Williamson28:49

       (laughs)

   12. MNMark Normand28:49

       Yeah, exactly. So those guys are all gonna turn to this. Uh, the, the path of least resistance always wins.

   13. CWChris Williamson28:56

       So, one of the pushbacks that I spoke to, one of my friends, William Costello, about this, evolutionary psychology guy, the problem you have with AI girlfriends-

   14. MNMark Normand29:04

       Mm-hmm.

   15. CWChris Williamson29:05

       ... is that there is no prestige associated in having one because there's no process of selection.

   16. MNMark Normand29:11

       Ah-ha.

   17. CWChris Williamson29:12

       It's the same way, it's the same way as saying, um, "I subscribe to Amouranth's OnlyFans account. Aren't I so special?" And you go, "Well, anybody who has the price of a spare cheeseburger per month can subscribe to the OnlyFans, so it doesn't-"

   18. MNMark Normand29:25

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson29:26

       "... make you special." So-

   20. MNMark Normand29:27

       Yeah, that's good.

   21. CWChris Williamson29:28

       ... his, his thought, like his slight white pill that's in there is it should be able to salve people that are very lonely, but it's not going to take the place of genuine females because it's not sufficiently satisfying. There's no prestige because you're not being selected, and the selection thing is very important.

   22. MNMark Normand29:44

       I completely agree. And that's good that we, if we start praising these guys, like, "My AI girlfriend's hotter than your AI girlfriend."

   23. CWChris Williamson29:50

       (laughs)

   24. MNMark Normand29:50

       Then we're fucked. But the fact that it's not impressive is a good sign 'cause that means it won't be, it won't be, uh, praised.

   25. CWChris Williamson29:57

       With AI Amouranth, fans will receive instant voice responses to any burning question they may have. Whether it's a fleeting curiosity or a profound desire, Amouranth's AI counterpart will be there to provide assistance. I got a Chris bot made, not that people can access, but that I can use for asking it questions on Q&As, and, uh, I used it, and the ease that these guys can do, so they can just take every podcast episode that you've ever been on-

   26. MNMark Normand30:22

       Yeah.

   27. CWChris Williamson30:23

       ... run that through a language learning model, and there you go. There's a moderately accurate Mark, Digi- DigiMark.

   28. MNMark Normand30:29

       Oh, my God.

   29. CWChris Williamson30:30

       Mark bot.

   30. MNMark Normand30:30

       That's a bummer.
7. 36:55 – 39:45

   People’s Desire to Disconnect

   1. MNMark Normand36:55

   2. CWChris Williamson36:55

      ... Forrest Gump and Tom Hanks, one of my friends is running across America at the moment.

   3. MNMark Normand36:58

      Mm.

   4. CWChris Williamson36:59

      So he's doing, uh, 64, 65 days, 50 miles a day, so I think a few thousand people have been to the top of Everest.

   5. MNMark Normand37:07

      Mm-hmm.

   6. CWChris Williamson37:07

      300 people have run across America.

   7. MNMark Normand37:09

      Wow.

   8. CWChris Williamson37:10

      Yeah. So he's gonna be the fastest .......................... Will Googe. Um, if-

   9. MNMark Normand37:12

      Will Googe?

   10. CWChris Williamson37:14

       Hey. Uh, if people wanna go and check him out, they can google Will Googe in support the run and shit like that. But he's in... Where is he now? He's in the Appalachian Mountains-

   11. MNMark Normand37:22

       Wow.

   12. CWChris Williamson37:22

       ... in Pennsylvania. He's going from, uh, LA to New York.

   13. MNMark Normand37:26

       Good for him. Have you heard this new thing taking over where people do a 12-hour walk?

   14. CWChris Williamson37:30

       Yes, one of my friends did this on Sunday.

   15. MNMark Normand37:32

       Really?

   16. CWChris Williamson37:32

       Yep.

   17. MNMark Normand37:33

       And they say after about six, seven hours, first of all your feet are bleeding, you know, but your brain goes to these places 'cause we're so used to just being constantly entertained, phone, screen, computer, TV, Netflix. But it just go, "Oh, third grade teacher. Oh, summer camp." And you just go to these crazy memory banks and it's pretty wild.

   18. CWChris Williamson37:53

       All of the times that you were molested is gonna come back up.

   19. MNMark Normand37:55

       (laughs) Yeah, yeah. I don't need to walk for that.

   20. CWChris Williamson37:58

       (laughs)

   21. MNMark Normand37:58

       Um, but I think, uh, th- this is the new craze is this like shutting down, Amish, uh, full on-

   22. CWChris Williamson38:06

       Disconnect.

   23. MNMark Normand38:07

       ... disconnect.

   24. CWChris Williamson38:07

       Well, what's that, what's that Jewish thing that people... Shabbat is it? What's the thing where they-

   25. MNMark Normand38:11

       That is something. Shabbat shalom?

   26. CWChris Williamson38:13

       ... where they do, uh, they don't use any-

   27. MNMark Normand38:15

       The Sabbath.

   28. CWChris Williamson38:16

       Kind of, I think. I'm pretty sure it's called Shabbat.

   29. MNMark Normand38:18

       Okay.

   30. CWChris Williamson38:18

       Anyway, it's from Friday evening until I think Saturday and they don't turn on any lights, they don't do any work, they don't blah, blah, blah. But I'm pretty sure that in really, really hardcore, uh, Jewish households for some of the things that they need to do, they have... It's almost like a Shabbat servant-
8. 39:45 – 47:34

   Women Wearing ‘Safety Layers’ on Trains

   1. CWChris Williamson39:45

      from some girl in New York. Women are wearing a safety layer over their outfits in public to deter creepy men with many labeling it's sad but necessary. This girl captioned the clip, uh, "The real fit is underneath." Apparently it's because of weird men on the underground. Others who hadn't heard of this trend expressed how sad but necessary it is. This is sad. Someone else called it, uh, what's it called? A f- s- fashion safety layer or the men blocker.

   2. MNMark Normand40:12

      Whoa.

   3. CWChris Williamson40:14

      But there's all of these stories about just how bad New York subway is at the moment.

   4. MNMark Normand40:19

      Totally, yeah. It's pretty-

   5. CWChris Williamson40:19

      Have you been on it recently?

   6. MNMark Normand40:20

      Yeah, I go every day. It's pretty dicey. You know-

   7. CWChris Williamson40:23

      Really?

   8. MNMark Normand40:23

      We just had-

   9. CWChris Williamson40:23

      Like, what's it like? People that live in, I don't know, London where the underground is absolutely fine or-

   10. MNMark Normand40:28

       Yeah.

   11. CWChris Williamson40:28

       ... Tokyo where it's also absolutely fine, what, what's the experience of getting on the subway like at the moment?

   12. MNMark Normand40:32

       Well, the thing with the subway is there's a, there's a... The hobo count went up way m- way high after the pandemic and so the subway is a place where you have a trapped person. Like, you know, you bump into a guy on the sidewalk on Broadway and he's like, "Give me your money or I'll kill you," whatever. You're like, "All right." Just keep walking. But the subway, you're waiting for the train or you're on the train. So I think hobos have been like, "I can get people there." The doors are closed, you know? You'd have to run up the stairs or wait for the subway to stop. So I think it started out as like, "Now they're on the subway, I can get money out of them," but now it's kind of like, "I'll also fight you."

   13. CWChris Williamson41:06

       Why did the population increase?

   14. MNMark Normand41:08

       I think all the people moved out or stayed indoors during the pandemic so the homeless kind of got a little more brazen and like, "We have the city to ourselves."

   15. CWChris Williamson41:18

       What was that award ceremony where there was tons of homeless people? Was it the Golden Globes or the Oscars or something and they had to sh-

   16. MNMark Normand41:24

       Probably.

   17. CWChris Williamson41:25

       They had to shift a ton of-

   18. MNMark Normand41:26

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughs)

   19. CWChris Williamson41:27

       ... people out that were living in there? There was like a bunch of homeless people.

   20. MNMark Normand41:30

       A lot of tent, tent homes and stuff and they had to-

   21. CWChris Williamson41:32

       Yeah.

   22. MNMark Normand41:33

       They had to shovel them all to the side.

   23. CWChris Williamson41:34

       Get out of the way of Leonardo DiCaprio's coming-

   24. MNMark Normand41:35

       Yeah, exactly.

   25. CWChris Williamson41:36

       ... with his 24-year-old girlfriend.

   26. MNMark Normand41:36

       (laughs)

   27. CWChris Williamson41:36

       And then once he's gotten through, they're fine.

   28. MNMark Normand41:38

       Exactly.

   29. CWChris Williamson41:39

       Yeah, well, there was that story about that guy who restrained a, a dude that was under warrant and arrest and all this stuff and now he's, it's not looking too good for him.

   30. MNMark Normand41:49

       That guy went from hero to, to murderer in like one second.
9. 47:34 – 55:58

   Prince Harry’s Failed Appeal to Have Private Police

   1. CWChris Williamson47:34

      I saw this story about, uh, Prince Harry has lost a legal challenge over his bid to be allowed to make private payments for the police.

   2. MNMark Normand47:41

      Mm-hmm.

   3. CWChris Williamson47:41

      His lawyers won a jurisdictional review of the rejection of his offer to pay for protection in the UK. Uh, a judge ruled not to give the go-ahead. Home Office lawyers have opposed the idea of allowing wealthy people to buy security from the police. So I wasn't really too sure about how I felt about this.

   4. MNMark Normand47:55

      I don't know. What is it? Can you, uh, translate that?

   5. CWChris Williamson47:57

      So Prince Harry no longer has his normal protection from being a royal because he lost his royal status. He, it seems, has security concerns when he travels to the UK. So his plan was to just pay for police-

   6. MNMark Normand48:13

      Mm.

   7. CWChris Williamson48:13

      ... to come with him so that there would be a degree of protection-

   8. MNMark Normand48:17

      Mm-hmm.

   9. CWChris Williamson48:17

      ... but also so that it didn't chew into the police's budget for whichever-

   10. MNMark Normand48:21

       Oh.

   11. CWChris Williamson48:21

       ... area of the country he's in.

   12. MNMark Normand48:22

       Got it.

   13. CWChris Williamson48:23

       So you'll have seen at, um, the Mothership.

   14. MNMark Normand48:26

       Yeah.

   15. CWChris Williamson48:26

       There is a, like a low-key couple of cops that are on site.

   16. MNMark Normand48:30

       Sure.

   17. CWChris Williamson48:31

       And they're paid for privately.

   18. MNMark Normand48:32

       Mm-hmm.

   19. CWChris Williamson48:32

       But they're, you know, official cop. I'm gonna presume that they're not... They're probably off-duty, still sanctioned-

   20. MNMark Normand48:39

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson48:39

       ... I think. I don't really know how it works. Up until I'd seen that, I'd never really heard about anybody being able to pay for private police protection. But it actually makes a good bit of sense, because if you don't, if you don't allow somebody that's going to be heavily scrutinized and, and cause loads of, you know, guffaw amongst the public to actually have some protection, they're gonna have to go in any case to do-

   22. MNMark Normand49:03

       Yeah.

   23. CWChris Williamson49:03

       ... crowd control. So just let them pay, I guess. I don't-

   24. MNMark Normand49:06

       Yeah.

   25. CWChris Williamson49:07

       ... know. That's what I thought.

   26. MNMark Normand49:07

       But they said no.

   27. CWChris Williamson49:08

       No, they said no. I think there's a big, a big problem, especially in the UK of allowing... Like, wealth in the UK is really, really looked down on, especially ostentatious wealth.

   28. MNMark Normand49:17

       Really?

   29. CWChris Williamson49:17

       Yeah. So if you were to say, "I'm going to use the money that I've acc- accrued to buy the usage of what is typically seen as a, a public service."

   30. MNMark Normand49:27

       Mm-hmm.
10. 55:58 – 1:02:42

    Mark’s Upcoming Netflix Special

    1. MNMark Normand55:58

       at you, that hurts.

    2. CWChris Williamson55:59

       Jonathan Haidt's doing some interesting stuff. He's saying that he's writing his entire book publicly at the moment.

    3. MNMark Normand56:04

       What does that mean?

    4. CWChris Williamson56:05

       So he, he's got ... I think it's maybe a Substack or some other sort of mailing list. And he's got this book that's gonna be out at some point in the future and each maybe few pages or each chapter as he writes them, he's just publishing.

    5. MNMark Normand56:18

       Ah.

    6. CWChris Williamson56:19

       As he goes.

    7. MNMark Normand56:20

       That's pretty cool.

    8. CWChris Williamson56:20

       And then he's getting feedback in the comments and then presumably will be making adjustments before the final book.

    9. MNMark Normand56:25

       Wow, it's like comedy. It's like standup.

    10. CWChris Williamson56:27

        Yes.

    11. MNMark Normand56:27

        Wow. He's doing a live act and then editing-

    12. CWChris Williamson56:31

        Yes. A b- until he does the spec-

    13. MNMark Normand56:31

        ... based on reaction.

    14. CWChris Williamson56:32

        You did a special.

    15. MNMark Normand56:33

        I did one, yeah. It comes out July 25th on Netflix and they let me say everything.

    16. CWChris Williamson56:38

        (laughs)

    17. MNMark Normand56:39

        They ... I mean, I really go hard. Um, I was shocked at no notes. So I think maybe things are changing or maybe Netflix wants 'cause any press is good press.

    18. CWChris Williamson56:48

        So when you mean notes, it was you were able to submit it and they didn't say, "T- t- we can't have that joke." And you-

    19. MNMark Normand56:53

        Take the R word out, all that. No. Holocaust, trans, it's all in there and, uh, everything's a joke, everything gets a laugh, but it's, uh, it's all the, all the hot button topics.

    20. CWChris Williamson57:04

        Uh, I asked Schulz this question. Do you think that there's any joke that is so extreme that it shouldn't be told?

    21. MNMark Normand57:14

        I don't, but I'm a comedian who likes fucked up jokes.

    22. CWChris Williamson57:19

        He said, uh, "Is it funny?"

    23. MNMark Normand57:21

        That's ... I completely agree.

    24. CWChris Williamson57:23

        And I was like, "Uh, yeah?"

    25. MNMark Normand57:25

        Yeah.

    26. CWChris Williamson57:25

        It's like-

    27. MNMark Normand57:26

        And I ... Oh, sorry. I would-

    28. CWChris Williamson57:27

        But app- apparently it matters. It matters if it's funny.

    29. MNMark Normand57:30

        Funny is everything. It's a standup comedy show at the end of the day. Even if someone has a non-offensive joke that isn't funny, I say get rid of it.

    30. CWChris Williamson57:37

        (laughs)
11. 1:02:42 – 1:10:26

    Rules for Being an American Sports Fan

    1. CWChris Williamson1:02:42

       fan. I'm a Texas Rangers fan now.

    2. MNMark Normand1:02:44

       Oh, nice.

    3. CWChris Williamson1:02:44

       Good at baseball. What do I need to know? Of what, like about-

    4. MNMark Normand1:02:47

       (laughs)

    5. CWChris Williamson1:02:47

       ... American sport? What are the, the skills that I need to be able to watch American sport well?

    6. MNMark Normand1:02:51

       What do you mean the skills?

    7. CWChris Williamson1:02:52

       Well, like-

    8. MNMark Normand1:02:52

       You gotta be fat, you gotta be drunk.

    9. CWChris Williamson1:02:54

       Yeah, these things.

    10. MNMark Normand1:02:55

        Yeah, yeah.

    11. CWChris Williamson1:02:55

        Like what is there? What should I ... Because I haven't been to a baseball game-

    12. MNMark Normand1:02:57

        Oh.

    13. CWChris Williamson1:02:57

        ... since I've moved here. What should I expect?

    14. MNMark Normand1:02:59

        Get a cold beer. Uh, you gotta learn the hey, batter, batter, batter.

    15. CWChris Williamson1:03:02

        (laughs)

    16. MNMark Normand1:03:02

        And then there's also the whole culture of like trashing the guy from the stands. Like, "You call that a throw? I've seen better throws on a pillow or whatever."

    17. CWChris Williamson1:03:11

        (laughs)

    18. MNMark Normand1:03:11

        "On a rug." You know, and uh, that's all fun and games. And then maybe you can catch a fly ball, that's big. Then you gotta give it to the retarded-

    19. CWChris Williamson1:03:18

        (laughs)

    20. MNMark Normand1:03:18

        ... cancer kid with the bald head. So there's all kinds of tropes. Um, it's fun. It's fun. You go out in the sun, take your shirt off, live it up, man.

    21. CWChris Williamson1:03:27

        Fuck yeah.

    22. MNMark Normand1:03:27

        It's the American pastime.

    23. CWChris Williamson1:03:28

        Fuck yeah. I'm excited.

    24. MNMark Normand1:03:29

        Bring sunflower seeds.

    25. CWChris Williamson1:03:30

        I needed ... I decided that I needed a, uh, I needed something. I needed a sport and a team that I could follow and Texas Rangers owned by ... What were the reasons? We wanted, um, place that had a nice stadium, place that wasn't more than three hours away, place that was owned by racists.

    26. MNMark Normand1:03:43

        (laughs)

    27. CWChris Williamson1:03:43

        And it turns out that George, George Bush, the, the Bush family's just heavily invested in the brand new stadium for the Rangers.

    28. MNMark Normand1:03:49

        I love it.

    29. CWChris Williamson1:03:50

        So we got all three.

    30. MNMark Normand1:03:51

        Oh, you're gonna have a blast. Uh, I went to, uh, when I went to Australia one time, I went to the ... I don't even know the name of the sport. Quicket? Quidgit? What-

Episode duration: 1:35:09