Skip to content
Modern WisdomModern Wisdom

Cheating & How To Get Over Someone

Relationships 101 & 102 both landed in the Top 50 Chart Worldwide on Apple Podcasts, here we go again. Jonny & Yusef join me as we delve into the murky depths at the end of a relationship. We explain our views on why we have cheated in the past, our strategies for getting over a partner and the best approaches we've found for delivering breakups. Discover what research says men & women fear most in relationships, why cheating is just parabolic discounting at it's finest and why saying "I'm not attracted to you, at all" is a suboptimal approach for justifying a breakup. Extra Stuff: Relationships 101 - https://youtu.be/Sm4lIGLmYEE Relationships 102 - https://youtu.be/O9FA4uJj_pM How To Get Over Someone - https://youtu.be/tAsH_LXT9P0 Stay In Or Leave A Relationship - https://youtu.be/YGV5o6UHjxM How To End A Relationship - https://youtu.be/VPXIzJcfAMk The Worst & Best Ways to Tell Someone It’s Over - https://youtu.be/f4d6UcRCQDc - Video & production by Dean Hindmarch https://www.deanhindmarch.com/ https://www.instagram.com/deanhindmarch - Listen to all episodes online. Search "Modern Wisdom" on any Podcast App or click here: iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/modern-wisdom/id1347973549 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0XrOqvxlqQI6bmdYHuIVnr?si=iUpczE97SJqe1kNdYBipnw Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/modern-wisdom - I want to hear from you!! Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Email: modernwisdompodcast@gmail.com

Chris WilliamsonhostYusefguestJonnyguest
Dec 17, 20181h 18mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Why People Cheat, When To Break Up, And Healing Afterward

  1. Chris Williamson, Johnny, and Yousaf explore the darker side of relationships: cheating, knowing when to end things, and how to get over someone. They unpack different motivations for infidelity, from seeking novelty to using cheating as a warped emotional hedge or escape hatch. The conversation then shifts to when and how to end a relationship respectfully, emphasizing honesty, decisiveness, and not wasting each other’s time. Finally, they discuss practical and psychological strategies for handling heartbreak, including cutting contact, leaning on friends, and learning to sit with painful emotions as an opportunity for growth.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Cheating usually masks deeper issues rather than solving them.

The hosts describe cheating as either an emotional hedge (“I’ll hurt you before you hurt me”) or a way to prospect for a new partner, but in both cases it only papers over underlying misalignments and drives a deeper wedge into the relationship.

Novelty is not a fix; you’ll face similar problems in the next relationship.

They argue that many people wrongly believe a new partner will magically erase current issues, but most long-term relationships follow a similar ‘product life cycle’—after the sugar-coating of sex and novelty fades, the same core challenges resurface.

If you’re sure it’s over, end it quickly and clearly.

Staying in a dead relationship wastes both people’s time and blocks each from meeting someone better suited; their advice is to end it firmly, compassionately, and in person when the decision is clear, without dangling false hope.

Share honest reasons when breaking up to give the other person a chance to grow.

Rather than vague clichés, they recommend truthfully explaining what didn’t work (without cruelty), so the other person has meaningful ‘metrics’ to improve themselves for future relationships.

Trying to be ‘friends’ immediately after a serious breakup usually slows healing.

For longer relationships, they suggest cutting contact—blocking, deleting photos, returning belongings—for at least six months so you can accept the finality and stop re-triggering emotional loops.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

If you know it’s not going anywhere and you’re certain of it, you should finish it right now.

Chris Williamson

The longer you let it go on, the more painful it’s going to be when it finally ends.

Chris Williamson

People think a relationship happens to them. When it stops working, they think, ‘I need a new one,’ rather than, ‘I should invest more to fix this one.’

Johnny

By the time someone cheats, the relationship’s already broken. It’s a lagging alarm, not the problem.

Yousaf

What better way to take ownership of something painful than to use it for growth?

Chris Williamson

Different motivations and psychology behind cheating (men and women)The illusion that novelty and new partners solve old relationship problemsMonogamy vs. polyamory and the evolutionary and practical anglesHow to decide whether to stay, invest, or end a relationshipEthical and effective ways to break up with someoneManaging pride, ego, and identity in being dumped or rejectedPractical strategies for getting over someone and processing grief

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.

Add to Chrome