Daniel Sloss - How To Stop Hating Your Love Life | Modern Wisdom Podcast 386

1. 0:00 – 1:18

   Intro

   1. DSDaniel Sloss0:00

      Being single isn't the easiest thing in the entire world, but it's objectively better than going to bed beside someone who you s- hope stops breathing in the middle of the night. Like, just that disappointment every morning when your alarm clock goes off, and you feel them move on the other side, and you go, "All right."

   2. CWChris Williamson0:17

      (laughs)

   3. DSDaniel Sloss0:17

      "Another one of those days. Here she is, Mrs. Breathes Through Her Nose. All right, grand, another 24 hours in hell, is it now?"

   4. CWChris Williamson0:27

      (wind blowing) Daniel Sloss in the building. How are you doing?

   5. DSDaniel Sloss0:30

      Yeah. I, I mean, in my building.

   6. CWChris Williamson0:33

      It's an outhouse. It's very nice.

   7. DSDaniel Sloss0:34

      Yeah. It is, thank you. It was, uh, built in a panic during a pandemic to record an audiobook, and it's now used as a masturbatorium. (laughs)

   8. CWChris Williamson0:44

      (laughs) Is that the technical term?

   9. DSDaniel Sloss0:46

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it makes it if you just call it, like, your jack-off room, that sounds like dead unclassy, and I don't think I'd be allowed to get away with it. But, like, masturbatorium makes it seems like I have a, you know, a s- a jacket, I drink a Cognac while I do it, and I've got a monocle in.

   10. CWChris Williamson0:59

       Like, there's a community of people that do it with you and a subreddit and a Discord server.

   11. DSDaniel Sloss1:04

       Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all make sure we log in at the same time. And that's the... Look, the one thing you can say about the pandemic is, look, we all got our own communities. (laughs)

   12. CWChris Williamson1:11

       And the masturbatorium membership was one of them. Have you seen-

   13. DSDaniel Sloss1:14

       Yeah.

   14. CWChris Williamson1:14

       You haven't seen Chappelle's new special yet?

   15. DSDaniel Sloss1:16

       No. No, I haven't. I

2. 1:18 – 13:02

   Dave Chappelle & Cancel Culture

   1. DSDaniel Sloss1:18

      was too busy watching... Um, I wanted to and then Squid Game came out, and I binged that. Um, I've not watched the last episode because I can't get over how fucking appalling those, all the English characters are, or, and all the American characters are.

   2. CWChris Williamson1:33

      So bad, man.

   3. DSDaniel Sloss1:34

      Like, it's... I, I wonder if, like, if this is just, like, South Korean revenge for the amount of times, like, we've made movies and television shows, and, like, we get people f- for, like, playing South Koreans or, uh, any, like, you know, Chinese or Japanese person, and we just give them shit dialogue because we're translating it so that's not how they talk. And, like, to them li- watching our shows, uh, they must be like, "Man, that's not how we sound at all. Like, this is really shit." And now they've just shown that, done that to us. They've made an incredible TV show, and then every time it's any English-speaking person, it's the worst-written dialogue in the world.

   4. CWChris Williamson2:09

      Yeah. It really does feel like they're taking the piss. You think it's got-

   5. DSDaniel Sloss2:12

      Oh.

   6. CWChris Williamson2:12

      ... 100% on Rotten Tomatoes at the moment, I think.

   7. DSDaniel Sloss2:14

      Yeah.

   8. CWChris Williamson2:15

      And it's got, it's gonna be the biggest show on Netflix this year. And they've decided to give the English and American people... It's like what I imagine Korean people think English and American people sound like.

   9. DSDaniel Sloss2:26

      Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's a, that's it's nice to see us in a stereotype-

   10. CWChris Williamson2:29

       Yeah.

   11. DSDaniel Sloss2:29

       ... which is just like re- aristocratic-

   12. CWChris Williamson2:32

       (laughs)

   13. DSDaniel Sloss2:33

       ... big, giant wankers obsessed with sex and talking about how rich they are-

   14. CWChris Williamson2:37

       Glittery heads.

   15. DSDaniel Sloss2:38

       ... constantly. Yeah. Yes.

   16. CWChris Williamson2:39

       Smoking jackets.

   17. DSDaniel Sloss2:40

       I'm off to get a blowjob from the blowjob room, like some sort of king. (laughs) Aren't the poor funny?

   18. CWChris Williamson2:46

       They're part of the masturbatorium.

   19. DSDaniel Sloss2:48

       Yes. Uh, they are. The masturbate consortium. I, it's, uh, yeah, that's, that's the blend there. Uh, so I, I watched that, and then I watched, fucking, um, what's that one that's... Vigil.

   20. CWChris Williamson3:01

       Oh, that was good.

   21. DSDaniel Sloss3:02

       Oh, really good. Really thoroughly enjoyed that. And then I'm gonna get into, I'm gonna get into Chappelle. But I'm also not on social media, uh, so I don't see, uh, any of the, the cancel culture or whatever the fuck is going on.

   22. CWChris Williamson3:14

       Yeah. So Chappelle's new special, he talks about how it's the gender debate again, like men and women, and he sides with J.K. Rowling, and he says that TERF is... He aligns that with, how do you say, like scientific reality or, like, biological reality that's saying that men are men and women are women. And fuck, like it's just, it went completely bonkers on the-

   23. DSDaniel Sloss3:39

       Yeah.

   24. CWChris Williamson3:40

       ... internet. And it's got Rotten Tomatoes... This is one of the things that's so interesting. Rotten Tomatoes has got a 96% user rating on it-

   25. DSDaniel Sloss3:46

       (clears throat)

   26. CWChris Williamson3:46

       ... but the critic score hasn't come in, and I think it happened with his last one where the critic score was like 30%-

   27. DSDaniel Sloss3:52

       Yeah.

   28. CWChris Williamson3:52

       ... and the user, the user rating was like 96. So he just keeps on injecting himself into these.

   29. DSDaniel Sloss3:58

       Yeah. But I just think it's, it's, it's kind of like I always used to really get annoyed when anyone would go and see Frankie Boyle and then still get offended. And it's like, man, at one point, the responsibility is on you. Like, if you, like, if you go to a Frankie Boyle show and you get offended, like, what else were you fucking expecting? Like, the, the contract is signed when you walk into the room of I'm off to see this comedian who I know, you know, is gonna say some horrendous thing, 'cause that's what he does. That's why I like him in the first place. That's the shit I enjoy about him. But the second he aims that at me, I don't like it so much as anymore. Um, it's, you know, I don't agree with everything Chappelle says, but I don't think I, I agree with anything everything every comedian says. Like, I, I, like, I'm a fan of the art of it. Like, I can fucking separate, um, you know, politics and, and, and personal opinion from just being like, man, if you write a joke really well about my dead sister, I'll still fucking laugh at that joke. Like, I know it's personal, right? And I might cry about it later on, but there'll be at least five minutes (laughs) where I can appreciate the craft of what you did.

   30. CWChris Williamson5:00

       That's the problem that a lot of comedians highlight, right? That people are happy for a comedian to take shots at this group and this group and this group-
3. 13:02 – 21:57

   How Daniel Became a Cause for Divorce

   1. DSDaniel Sloss13:02

   2. CWChris Williamson13:02

      Jesus Christ.

   3. DSDaniel Sloss13:03

      (laughs)

   4. CWChris Williamson13:03

      All right. Have you actually been cited as one of the causes for a divorce?

   5. DSDaniel Sloss13:08

      Yeah. Yeah, man. Like-

   6. CWChris Williamson13:10

      Actually cited on the piece of paper?

   7. DSDaniel Sloss13:12

      Yeah, but as in, like, it's like what they've, like, th- because, oh, I mean, I don't know, I've g- I don't know a lot about, uh, divorce, uh-

   8. CWChris Williamson13:19

      Law. (laughs)

   9. DSDaniel Sloss13:20

      ... law and stuff. But, like, people have brought the bits of paper and, you know, when they've got, like, reasons, like, the bit where I sign says my name and the show, Jigsaw. (laughs)

   10. CWChris Williamson13:28

       Because you've signed them?

   11. DSDaniel Sloss13:30

       Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just autographed them, like, uh, it's a copy of their ones that they're gonna frame for whatever reason.

   12. CWChris Williamson13:36

       300 divorces, 350 canceled engagements, and more than 120,000 breakups.

   13. DSDaniel Sloss13:42

       Yeah, I mean, those numbers are way higher now, but yeah, the t- like, and they, we kept having to update it as the book went on. And then g- and I stopped counting a while ago, uh, just because it, I, when I came off of most of social media, so there was just no way to do it. So, there are, there are, like, the, I mean, the breakups are an estimate. We stopped counting the divorces then. We st- but we still get messages through, man. I'll still get at least one a week.

   14. CWChris Williamson14:04

       You're like the fucking harbinger of the breakup apocalypse.

   15. DSDaniel Sloss14:07

       I like to, people have called, uh, Jigsaw like The Ring, but for toxic relationships. (laughs)

   16. CWChris Williamson14:13

       (laughs)

   17. DSDaniel Sloss14:13

       Like, that is-

   18. CWChris Williamson14:14

       Once you've watched it.

   19. DSDaniel Sloss14:14

       Yeah. It's like, and again, look, it's, it's never broken up a good couple. Like, nobody's... I'm not a magician. (laughs) Like, there was no p- there was no two parents together, they'd been together for 25 years, you know, their eldest was 16, they'd said, "Well..." And they loved each other so much, high school sweethearts. And then they watched my standup and by the end, they were like, "Ugh, I hate you. This is over. You can keep the kids. I never..." That's never happened. It's people in shitty relationships watch this special and they look at their subpar partner and they go, "Ow, I could and I do deserve better than this."

   20. CWChris Williamson14:51

       How would you advise someone to go through breaking up with a partner, then? Or how would, should people work out if they need to break up? Because it's difficult question.

   21. DSDaniel Sloss14:59

       Very difficult question, and it's, uh, uh, and the copout answer is the true one, which is only you'll know. And, but what is also true is sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you're so deluded in your relationship and you're so scared of the other side because you're so terrible at being alone that you've got this thing of like, "Even if this is shit, it's better than nothing." And that's never true, by the way. Like, no relationship is always better than a shit relationship. Being single isn't the easiest thing in the entire world, but it's objectively better than going to bed beside someone who you s- hope stops breathing in the middle of the night. (laughs) Like, just that disappointment every fucking morning when your alarm clock goes off and you feel them move on the other side and you go, "Fuck, all right."

   22. CWChris Williamson15:46

       (laughs)

   23. DSDaniel Sloss15:46

       "Another one of those days. Here he or she is, misses fucking breathe through her nose. All right, grand, another 24 hours of fucking hell, is it?" No. Like, when you start feeling that way, (laughs) it's probably time to... 'Cause the reason I broke up with my ex was because I wished her, she was dead. And that wasn't because she deserved to die, but I'm like, "Man, the second I want you to die, or the second I don't want to give you all of myself, you deserve better as well, man." It's like, you got to remember, if you're in a relationship where you don't like the other person, you owe it to them not to waste their fucking time anymore. Like, breakups are always hard, right? We know that, 'cause there's no perfect way to do them. I mean, there were. I don't know what was wrong with texting, but apparently we all had to vote, and (laughs) texting's just not... Like, I don't get, I don't get why. It's just so efficient. It's over. No, I d- you don't need an ex for... Come on, fuck it, it's done. Who cares? But all right, we had a vote and morally it's wrong. I see. I got it. Um, you know, it, it's gonna suck for a, um, a, a, a long time, and every second you don't break up with them is like time within that person and your own, you know, healing that you're robbing them from, like I think just-

   24. CWChris Williamson16:54

       So, if you're not allowed to text them, what's the, what's the optimal way to try and get it done? Because it's difficult. You've got this thing you want to do. You're talking to a person. You're terrified of being on your own. You don't want to hurt them. You don't want to hurt yourself. It's like a, it's the perfect cocktail to not make a decision.

   25. DSDaniel Sloss17:09

       Yes. I, and then there's also the, the anxiety, and especially if you are in a toxic relationship, which is the ones I encourage people to get out of, you've always got that fear in the back of your head, whether it's valid or not, that the other person's going to do harm to themselves or others if they're in a heightened, saddened, emotional state. And the brutal truth of it is, you are not responsible for other people's feelings and emotions and, or their actions. And it's nice to feel... It's n- and don't get me wrong. It's a nice thing to f- feel that concern for other people. That's empathy. Don't lose that. It's not a matter of not being empathetic, but it's a matter about understanding where your responsibility to somebody else. Like, like them keeping you in a relationship because you're worried that they'll hurt themselves. That's not a good situation, uh, to be in. So, I mean, make sure that when you do it, that they're not-... you've not isolated them. Like, don't, don't go on holiday with them, and then be like, "Hey, guess what? It's fucking over. Thanks. Hey, thanks for coming to where I live. Just to let you know, it's over day one. I know you fly back in a week, but hopefully you can get over it. Scotland's beautiful, have a walk." Like, that's not a kind way to do it. Do it in a place where you know they can get support afterwards, and where you can. Um, but yeah, I mean, do get out of it as soon as you, as you fucking can. Like, why, why waste a second?

   26. CWChris Williamson18:30

       It's oddly narcissistic to think about the effect that you breaking up with someone has on them, 'cause people think it's empathy, but it's not. It's narcissism.

   27. DSDaniel Sloss18:38

       Yeah.

   28. CWChris Williamson18:38

       It's the belief that, "Without me, how could you go on?" I mean-

   29. DSDaniel Sloss18:42

       Yeah.

   30. CWChris Williamson18:42

       ... I, I'm, I'm so fantastic. I'm obviously your entire world."
4. 21:57 – 31:27

   Is Being Single Better?

   1. CWChris Williamson21:57

      think, yeah, so many people that are in relationships that have been in them for a very, very long time, they don't know what single life is actually like.

   2. DSDaniel Sloss22:06

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson22:06

      Like, I'm not talking about the idealized top 5% of being single. The excitement of speaking to someone and not knowing if you're gonna get it on, and then the going back to the house and the taxi ride where you're fumbling around in the back on the way there and being told by-

   4. DSDaniel Sloss22:20

      Mm-hmm.

   5. CWChris Williamson22:20

      ... the taxi driver to stop doing that. "You can't do that in here, mate." And-

   6. DSDaniel Sloss22:23

      Yeah.

   7. CWChris Williamson22:23

      ... like, that's, that, that bit's fun, but the wake up the next day with the hangover and the existential angst.

   8. DSDaniel Sloss22:29

      Yeah, I, I, the whole-

   9. CWChris Williamson22:30

      Like, the c-... The constant feelings of insufficiency and in- insecurity about whether or not this person does like you. The fucking time? The ti-... Oh, my G-... The... Dear Lord, the amount of time on WhatsApp or on fucking Instagram or whatever.

   10. DSDaniel Sloss22:45

       Yeah. And th- and th- then... And then all the loneliness as well. I mean, look, being single is a lot of time by yourself, and you have to be... If you've been in a relationship for 15 years, motherfucker, you ain't good at being alone. I know it's alluring to you, but go on a fishing trip. Like, you're not ready for real (laughs) alone. Like, that's what you... That's why people get into relationships, is 'cause they're so bad at being alone that the, the other one is the, is the, is the safer option for them. But, um, I, I, I always think when people are... do get that curiosity of like, "Oh, I wish I were single," I'm like, man, understand though as well, on the other side, you've got people out here in the single game wishing they'd been in relationships for 15 years, wishing they had that emotional connection with someone and that life journey.

   11. CWChris Williamson23:28

       Mm-hmm.

   12. DSDaniel Sloss23:28

       Like, it's all about, uh, perspective and, and whatnot, but it's also why I feel very secure in my relationship because, like, I'm, I'm, I'm very in love with my fiance. She's, uh, wonderful. We've been together for four and a bit, uh, years now. But before her, I lived a life, man. (laughs) Like, I'm not, I'm not getting curious when I'm 45. (laughs) Like, I, I, I did it. It was, it was fun. Uh, it's not, uh, me anymore, but...Um, like, I always wanted to settle down and have kids. Like, th- that was always part of my, uh, plan. I love children and I, I, I, I just have always wanted to be a dad. But I always knew that, you know, that was the ... When you start that chapter, if you do it right, the goal is for that to be forever. You don't want to do it multiple times. Uh, best case scenario is it's hard for the rest ... And to do that, I had to make sure that I wasn't going to be curious. I had to make sure that when I was 50 no part of my brain was like, "I wonder what a threesome's like." I had to make sure I knew.

   13. CWChris Williamson24:33

       Dude, I've got a friend who's big into pick apart history and I was talking to him y- years ago about this, and I was like, "Man, like, you put in a lot of graft with women."

   14. DSDaniel Sloss24:42

       Yeah.

   15. CWChris Williamson24:42

       "Like, an unforgivable amount of time that you put in." He was like, "Yeah, dude. My future wife better thank me for all of this time and effort I'm putting in." I was like-

   16. DSDaniel Sloss24:51

       (laughs)

   17. CWChris Williamson24:51

       ... "Please elaborate to me-"

   18. DSDaniel Sloss24:53

       (laughs)

   19. CWChris Williamson24:53

       ... "on how your future wife should be so thankful that you've sprayed it around for the last decade of your life."

   20. DSDaniel Sloss24:58

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson24:58

       He's like, "Well, I don't ever want to be walking down the street with my missus and our two kids, and look at a Brazilian girl and think, 'I wanna know what it's like to fuck a Brazilian girl.'"

   22. DSDaniel Sloss25:06

       Yeah.

   23. CWChris Williamson25:06

       "I wanna have done it. I wanna have ticked off every single one of the different sexual kinks that I've got, because closing those loops gives my future wife the best opportunity-"

   24. DSDaniel Sloss25:13

       Mm-hmm.

   25. CWChris Williamson25:13

       "... for us to make it work." I'm like, "Well, that, that might be-"

   26. DSDaniel Sloss25:16

       And also, the, the other way around, man. Like, I'm g- like, I'm glad my fiance lived a fucking life before me, man. Like, when peo- ... I find jealousy one of the most insane things in a relationship. Especially if it's jealousy on your partner's previous actions before you. Like, I'm a big believer in the second we get into a new relationship, if, unless it's murder or pedophilia, you've got to forgive me for everything I did before this second. Because I didn't know you existed before this. Like, all of that, don't get me wrong, is a fair representation of my character, and I will always ... You know, you have to stand by your actions, even the bad ones. Y- and you admit why they were fucking wrong. But, like, you know, my fiance ... I've, I've been... I write about it in the book, and this was when I wasn't with my (laughs) f- uh, fiance. I think I, uh, wrote that I really hope she was out there in the world sucking dick right now, 'cause I want her to be good at it and I want her to not be curious. When I, when we're older together-

   27. CWChris Williamson26:13

       (laughs)

   28. DSDaniel Sloss26:13

       ... of course I want her to have to live her fucking life. Every time she talks about, like, oh, you know ... We're very open in our relationship about, you know, past conquests and stuff. And, man, I'm proud of her, 'cause I wasn't there, and it's nice to know that, like, man, I got, like, I got a good one. (laughs) This is like finding out that you killed a general. Like this is-

   29. CWChris Williamson26:31

       (laughs)

   30. DSDaniel Sloss26:32

       I took a ... Like, I took a ... Like, I took one of the GOATs out of the game, motherfucker. This is cool. (laughs) Man, if you retire Michael Jordan, come on. You got a ... That's a badge. (laughs)
5. 31:27 – 42:57

   Reflecting on Jigsaw

   1. CWChris Williamson31:27

      All right, so given the fact that you're very happily engaged now-

   2. DSDaniel Sloss31:30

      Yes.

   3. CWChris Williamson31:31

      ... do you look back on Jigsaw in a different light and in your thought process around Jigsaw, uh, differently at all?

   4. DSDaniel Sloss31:40

      No. Uh, and it's, it's really, uh, the thing that annoys me is the amount of people who will... And man, I get it. Like I know it's a joke most of the time when people call me a hypocrite. Like it's, it's the joke I fucking make. Like I get it. But (laughs) at a purely personal, whiny level, I'm like, "I'm not a hypocrite." Jigsaw was never... I never once said love wasn't real. The whole point was it definitely exists and that's what I was after. It was meant to be... The whole point was, you know, I kept forcing myself into relationships because I was so desperate to be in a relationship, because that's what I thought I had to do. I would compromise myself so much in relationships because that's what I'd learned relationships were about, about sacrifice and about sacrificing part of yourselves for the greater good of this relationship so you and this person can be together forever. And then just, you know, settling and giving up and, you know, compromising your own happiness for the sake of the, the greater good. And I, and I didn't bel- I was like, "That's bullshit." Like I don't, I refuse to believe that's what a relationship is. That's what I've done so many times and I've hated all those relationships. So now I'm going to, I'm gonna make sure that in the future you have to love 100% of who I am. And that was the whole thing. Like, you have to truly love me for all of me. And I have found someone like that. Don't get me wrong, it's weird. Like you think you want it, and then you find somebody who actually loves 100% of you and you're like, "Oh, you're fucked up." Like that, like you shouldn't, you definitely shouldn't love all of me. (laughs) Like there are... Now that you love all of me, I guess I do kind of have to admit that I am a flawed person and maybe you shouldn't love those flaws because if you love them, I'll not improve them. And it would be nice to, you know, I only hold mys- hold myself to a certain level, uh, but because I love you more than I love myself, it would be nicer for you to, but, you know, carry me up and... Um, but even then, I, I, I think she, she just wants the best for me. And she, as long as I'm happy, she's happy. And that is exactly the type of relationship I was yelling about. Uh, and the, and the one that you should settle for. Like the whole thing was she is bet- For me, she's better than being single. And that was al- I was like, "You ha- Being single was so much fun for me that if you were gonna get me into a relationship, it had to be fucking better." It had to be no... And the second it stopped being better than being single, I'm out that fucking relationship. Because the other thing is good, I'm always gonna go for what makes me happier.

   5. CWChris Williamson34:04

      Mm-hmm.

   6. DSDaniel Sloss34:04

      Now, definitely happier than I was when I was single. Consistently, all the time. Um, not been any... The only arguments we've ever had so far is when I'm being the psychopath. (laughs) And that was just like during the pandemic and that was a narcissist going from all the ta- attention in the world to none of it. So, it was just some adjustments on my side. (laughs)

   7. CWChris Williamson34:24

      Some people use that lack of love from the other side as like a, that's an attractive quality, or like elements that the other side pulls away. You know, when people get too keen or when people do begin to love 100% of you, you can actually start to pull away from that because you think, "Hang on, if I don't fully love myself and this person does, fuck, there must be something wrong with them, which means-"

   8. DSDaniel Sloss34:44

      Mm-hmm.

   9. CWChris Williamson34:44

      "... I shouldn't be in a relationship with them."

   10. DSDaniel Sloss34:46

       Yeah.

   11. CWChris Williamson34:46

       It's so bizarre that the thing that we've wanted all along, which is for someone to accept us for our flaws, you know, warts and all, successes and all, to support us through good times and bad. When someone does do that, because we have such an inherently poor own self-image, we actually t- get turned off by that.

   12. DSDaniel Sloss35:01

       Yeah. Yeah. And I, but I, but I think you can get beyond that. You just have to acknowledge that's what is happening there. What is that, if somebody's truly loving f- you for who you are, it's, it's not a lack, it, it's not a bad thing on their part. You should use that to go, "Right, they do love who all of I am and I love them so much. I should be better because I want to fucking buy that." I don't want to make them love a piece of shit. Like I don't mind my own, like I, we can all hate our own reputation, but if I'm just walking around looking like shit, smelling like shit, and they still love me, that's very irresponsible of me. Like I should be making them, you know... They're always gonna be beautiful they love.

   13. CWChris Williamson35:39

       Proud, yeah.

   14. DSDaniel Sloss35:40

       Yeah. But I should be doing my best to make sure that other people aren't going, "Have you seen what she's let him get away with?"

   15. CWChris Williamson35:47

       (laughs)

   16. DSDaniel Sloss35:47

       Like, "He's just, he's a beast now. He's a smelly, decrepit beast." Like, uh, and no, she still loves him. She says his heart's good, apparently.

   17. CWChris Williamson35:57

       Yeah. Fucking weird. Another thing is when people... If you fall quite hard for someone, if you love someone very quickly or if you're spending a little bit of time, the same thing can happen. If you get too keen too fast, the, the amount of game playing, I think this is something that I struggled with a lot during my 20s because I wanted to be loved.

   18. DSDaniel Sloss36:12

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson36:12

       Like I really, really wanted... I'm quite an affectionate person, which I, I think that you are as well. Like I just really, really wanted to be loved and have an emotional connection with somebody. And what it leads to is you-... your emotions end up being further ahead of how you're displaying your emotions to the other person. So like-

   20. DSDaniel Sloss36:30

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson36:30

       ... your emotions are moving at a thousand miles an hour, and you're like, "Right, yeah, but I need to pump the brakes on what I'm actually texting this person or saying to them in front." So, you end up playing this, like, weird reserved game version of you because you know if you come on too strong, too fast, this person's gonna go away.

   22. DSDaniel Sloss36:43

       Yeah, trying to decode each other's messages, like where ... Like, I th- I ... I do ............................ There were so many things that I did love about being single. But man, it w- it was stressful at points. You're like, "Is this the right thing to say?"

   23. CWChris Williamson36:54

       How long should I wait to reply?

   24. DSDaniel Sloss36:56

       How long should I wait? Like, is th- is th- is this, is this too forward? Like, I don't want to make this person uncomfortable. But is it not ... Or is it not forward enough? Like, have I made ... And also, have I made sure that, like, you know, uh, if it is just a fling I'm after, they know that that's what the goal is and I'm not, like-

   25. CWChris Williamson37:14

       Setting boundaries.

   26. DSDaniel Sloss37:15

       Yeah. I'm not tricking someone to ... I'm not making someone feel like I'm after a relationship, like, I'm not giving them mixed signals. But let's also make sure that I'm not getting fucking mixed signals. Like, let's, let's make sure that I'm making ... And it's ... Yeah, a whole bunch of-

   27. CWChris Williamson37:27

       It's a fucking minefield, man.

   28. DSDaniel Sloss37:28

       Yeah.

   29. CWChris Williamson37:28

       Like, this is the thing, this is the thing. For the boomers out there, or for someone that's been in a relationship for ages, that's looking at Tinder and fucking OnlyFans-

   30. DSDaniel Sloss37:36

       You would be shit at it. Every single one of you wouldn't last a fucking second. It would be like signing up to the army now, you decrepit old cunts. You'd be shot dead by a sniper you didn't even know was on the field. (laughs)
6. 42:57 – 48:59

   How to Deal with Death

   1. CWChris Williamson42:57

      you've dealt with a little bit of it. I'm yet to have anyone close in my family die. How do you deal with it?

   2. DSDaniel Sloss43:02

      Um, I mean, not well. Nobody deals with it well, that's the, the problem. Well, well, no, here's ... Everyone deals with it as well as they can. But there's no perfect way to deal with it. There's no, um ... I mean, I was about to say there's no right and wrong way. There's definitely a wrong way. (laughs)

   3. CWChris Williamson43:19

      What's the wrong way?

   4. DSDaniel Sloss43:20

      Oh, you know, taking it out on an entire group of people and killing them. Uh, blowing, killing yourself, deciding that it's not worth it anymore. Uh, becoming an alcoholic, becoming a drug addict, you know, th- you know, doing things that are, you know, not bett- not steps towards getting over the grief. But sometimes steps towards getting over the grief look unusual to people not grieving. Uh, and, and because people grieve in different ways, you will get a lot of people who say, "You shouldn't do that." Like, for so many people, and this is understandable, where they can't or don't want to laugh after death, which is, man, we get it. Grief is this overwhelming ball around you that you're just in, and, and sometimes, like, laughter just feels disingenuous or even cruel at that point. But to other people, it's the fucking life raft. It's the, it's the one, it's the bit that reminds them, and the grief... To, to, to laugh in the face of grief is one of the most defiant things in the fucking world. And it's truly the only way to beat it, for, for me personally. The only time I've ever come out of, truly come out of sadness, and the moments when I know I'm sad, the moments when I know I'm doing better, are when I'm laughing. And man, when you're drowning, you don't care what it is that's keeping you afloat. Like, sure, you get up there, and you're like, "Oh fuck, this is 19 babies tied together. I really wish 19 babies tied together weren't keeping me afloat. Like, this is objectively evil and a bad thing, but I'm not drowning anymore. Oh, let me go over to this other thing that's floating, because I don't wanna, I don't wanna be killed. Oh God, it's a bunch of pensioners. It's a, it's a, okay, and these are alive."

   5. CWChris Williamson44:51

      (laughs)

   6. DSDaniel Sloss44:51

      Like, is it morally better to, like, be floating because a bunch of dead babies, or is it better to, to, like, flip them over and then, uh, like, you know?

   7. CWChris Williamson44:59

      (laughs)

   8. DSDaniel Sloss44:59

      Just keeping the head above water. Um, and people want to be grief police. Uh, they want to tell you that you shouldn't laugh at these things that, like, that jokes about dead people are disrespectful. And you go, "Only if the dead person when they were alive says that's disrespectful." Understand, when I die, open fucking season on me for everyone. I'm a comedian, right? I wanna fucking die the way I lived. You made fun of me when I was alive, make fun of me when I'm dead. Cut this fucking clip out, and let people, let them fucking roast me. Say the worst fucking things. So I, and so in the future when I'm dead, do, nobody's being disrespectful by laughing at me, 'cause that's what I wanted my life to be, was to make people laugh. So in my death, I want to make people laugh. I don't want ... Oh, I- I've always said my funeral, what I want it to be is every single person in my life going up on stage and telling the worst story about me. Like, just a time when I was rude, a time when I was selfish, uh, a time when I was maybe cruel, uh, or, or, or, or forgetful or unforg- unforgiving and just all these negative things. So just by the end of the funeral people go, "Oh, maybe it is good. Like, maybe-"

   9. CWChris Williamson46:09

      (laughs)

   10. DSDaniel Sloss46:09

       "... like, now that I, now that I, now that I've heard those, like, 200 stories."

   11. CWChris Williamson46:13

       You've got this group of people at the back of the room that have all popped bottles of champagne.

   12. DSDaniel Sloss46:18

       (laughs) Yeah, yeah. "Whee!" (laughs)

   13. CWChris Williamson46:20

       "He's fucking gone, bitches."

   14. DSDaniel Sloss46:23

       Ai. I'm not against any of that.

   15. CWChris Williamson46:26

       (laughs)

   16. DSDaniel Sloss46:26

       If you can laugh at my fucking funeral, that's ... 'Cause also I want ... 'cause man, I ... Like, a- as the narcissist, we were saying before, like, you know, when you break up with someone, you imagine you've ruined their life and there's no recovery. We do get the same narcissism of like, "Man, when I'm dead, how are people gonna live without me?"

   17. CWChris Williamson46:41

       How will the world go on? How will-

   18. DSDaniel Sloss46:44

       How will they, Christopher?

   19. CWChris Williamson46:45

       This-

   20. DSDaniel Sloss46:45

       How will you live without me? (laughs)

   21. CWChris Williamson46:48

       Fucking with glee, my friend.

   22. DSDaniel Sloss46:51

       (laughs)

   23. CWChris Williamson46:51

       And, and for many years, I get the impression, given the lifestyle that you've gone through.

   24. DSDaniel Sloss46:56

       I ... Uh, oh God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We finally the other day when we were in, um, we were in Astoria, uh, and just the comedians out there, it was the first time me and Kai have ever had this compliment. It's a compliment we've always known we were worthy of, but it's one we've just never been given. And it was just one of the other guys going like, "Man, like, we genuinely don't understand how you tour the way you tour. Like, it's just, like, it, nobody else does it like that." We were like, "Good, good, right. Just as long as we're aware that we are, uh, we are the only rock and roll comedians truly left."

   25. CWChris Williamson47:29

       What's that mean?

   26. DSDaniel Sloss47:31

       Um, well, I mean, eh, we were so d- well, at least for me, when I was younger, I was so desperate to, you know, be a touring comic and you build it up in your head that you go out and you, you know, you drink and you party and you, uh, live these lives. So there was times when we were, like, at least on m- on me and Kai's fucking first tour, we were so desperate 'cause we were like, "We're on a 60-date tour, like, well, 50 dates over 60 days." And we would go out drinking on a Tuesday in Banbury after playing to 25 fucking people, like, "Let's go out, let's try and get laid." And we're like, "Man, just go to fucking bed. What are you doing?"

   27. CWChris Williamson48:04

       (laughs)

   28. DSDaniel Sloss48:05

       Fucking then we'd go to fucking Bexhill on a Wednesday, both sharing a Travelodge, and then we'd be in the car park downstairs smoking weed, just hotboxing his Vauxhall Astra because we were allowed to smoke in the rooms because we were so desperately like, "This is tour."

   29. CWChris Williamson48:19

       "This is rock and roll," yeah.

   30. DSDaniel Sloss48:20

       And then when the tours started getting bigger, like when we started doing Europe and stuff, like, we were going from city to city to city to city to city every night. But after each show, we would go out and get drunk because we wanted to drink w- 'cause we always thought it was gonna be over. We couldn't believe that we were gigging in Lithuania or Poland or Estonia or any of these places. Uh-And so we'd drink until 3:00 in the morning, and then get on the plane the next day, fly to the next place. And because that new place is so excited to see you as well, they're, they wanna go out as well. And we were just like, "Okay, I guess we're just going out." Uh, and we're gonna do this because we might not ever get to do this tour again. And then that tour happened seven more times, and now I'm an alcoholic, and that's how it gets you.

7. 48:59 – 54:22

   Daniel’s New America Tour

   1. DSDaniel Sloss48:59

      (laughs)

   2. CWChris Williamson48:59

      And now you're going to America, tomorrow?

   3. DSDaniel Sloss49:01

      Yeah, tomorrow. Yup, yup. Uh, and this will be, uh... All right, I mean, after this one, because of the way the tour has been and because of how I handled things during the pandemic, like I'm, I'm making one of those vows to myself where I'm gonna be, after this tour is done, uh, and once I get back from America, that's me going sober for a bit, just-

   4. CWChris Williamson49:21

      Why after this tour? Why not for this tour?

   5. DSDaniel Sloss49:24

      'Cause th- that would be a, a, a... That's not a realistic goal. (laughs)

   6. CWChris Williamson49:29

      (laughs)

   7. DSDaniel Sloss49:30

      That is not a... Man, I'm going back to America. Do you kn- do you know how many British comedians have cracked America? It's like four. It's like, you know. Uh, um, but it's a, it... Like, I st- to this day, I can't believe that I get to, you know, tour the States.

   8. CWChris Williamson49:44

      How many dates you got?

   9. DSDaniel Sloss49:46

      Uh, 47. No, no, no, no, no, no. So we're there, we're away for 52 days, and I think it's like 35 shows.

   10. CWChris Williamson49:54

       That's disgusting.

   11. DSDaniel Sloss49:55

       Yeah. Uh, and it's, you know, man, man, when we're doing like real, like we're doing the Beacon Theater, we're doing the Orpheum, we're doing the Wilbur twice. Like we're doing theaters that, like when I was growing up watching, uh, standup and, and, and consuming standup, like these are the venues that ev- like all the big dogs fucking performed at. So to be doing a tour, actually playing and selling out, uh, those venues, I'm like, "I'm not doing, I'm not, not doing that tour the way I think it should be done." And the way I think that should be done is enjoying every second of it, not saying no to fucking anything. We've got a tour manager again. Like it's his job to drive us places. And, uh-

   12. CWChris Williamson50:35

       Poor bastard.

   13. DSDaniel Sloss50:36

       I know. I know. Well, no, big, big shout-out to Ed Neil, my tour manager. Like he, he enjoys it too, 'cause man, we're not, we're not like fucking, we're not meth heads. We're not doing coke every fucking night, or heroin. Like we're just, we like drinking and we like marijuana. And, you know, uh, we've, we haven't been able to tour America in two years. Uh, it's genuinely, despite America's deep, deep problems with literally everything, I think they are some of the most comedy intelligent audiences in the world, because they, they've just, they, they've had a, their type of comedy as, as storytellers, it's been there. They're very comedy literate, and that's why they're fun to perform in. Still make, but man, there's comedy clubs in every single fucking state, and good ones. It's several ones. Like it's, comedy's been part of, standup comedy especially, has probably existed in America, I'd say, the longest, at least in its current form.

   14. CWChris Williamson51:30

       What's an American audience like compared with a British one?

   15. DSDaniel Sloss51:33

       A bit more shitty. (laughs)

   16. CWChris Williamson51:35

       What's that mean?

   17. DSDaniel Sloss51:36

       Pew pew.

   18. CWChris Williamson51:37

       Oh. (laughs)

   19. DSDaniel Sloss51:39

       (laughs)

   20. CWChris Williamson51:39

       Shooty. I thought you said shitty. It's the accent again.

   21. DSDaniel Sloss51:41

       Oh, no, also true. No, no, no. Um, they are, I mean, they're more, they're scarier to offend. Like a British person will write a letter. An American will kick your head in outside. Uh, you know, Americans, you know, they take things, uh, they c- when they, when they do take things personally, taking it personally is a l- uh, has a long-

   22. CWChris Williamson52:01

       Grave consequences.

   23. DSDaniel Sloss52:02

       Yeah. Um, they are much more high energy. Like the, one of the things I really find fascinating about American audiences is, uh, the American confidence is something that just doesn't exist in the world. And like American, even un- unconfident Americans who tell you they're unconfident are still some of the most confident people you meet. Americans are so violently themselves. So like, they, they don't, they're just so 110% American all of the time. Like I've, I've, I've, uh, I've never, like even introverted Americans are like, "I'm introverted," and you're like, "Buddy, you ain't. Like what the fuck are you talking about?" Uh, but that confidence in an audience is unbelievable, because if you're doing a sh- gig in let's say like a sensitive part of the En- England, London, right? You're doing a gig in London. You do a risque joke about whatever. If there are, uh, 50% of the audience that like that joke, right, another 50% don't, that 50% that do like it are n- not gonna laugh, because British people like laughing as groups, like a lot of audiences. We're going, "Okay, no, no, it's part of the fucking status quo, and I don't wanna fucking stand out here 'cause I don't wanna have to, you know, d- defend my decision to laugh here, and I'm not confident enough to be the one laughing alone." Every American has the confidence to laugh alone. They couldn't give a fucking shit. Like I've done, I've s- been at comedy clubs where there's 300 people in a room and a comedian's on stage, and only seven people are enjoying that comedian. But fucking hell, those seven are enjoying that comedian. And they'll make it known.

   24. CWChris Williamson53:30

       (laughs)

   25. DSDaniel Sloss53:30

       They'll clap. They'll fucking cheer. They'll say, "Hell yeah. Woo!" All that fucking shit that the Americans do as an audience.

   26. CWChris Williamson53:37

       You're not a fan of the woo though.

   27. DSDaniel Sloss53:38

       Hate it. I think it's the most disruptive, uh, thing in the entire world, uh, for c- comedy is timing. Like that's the, comedy's all about fucking timing, and a woo is just a, like a Ric Flair heckle. This isn't you helping the show. This is you so desperate to be heard, so desperately. And, and, and you're doing it because you agree with something I said, so it's virtue signaling in a way. Like it's this like, I say something, you go, "Woo!" You're like, "Motherfucker, I don't care if you agree. I said it."

   28. CWChris Williamson54:08

       (laughs)

   29. DSDaniel Sloss54:08

       "It's my fucking point. Shut the fuck up." Like, "Hey, hey, hey, never forget, you all pay to look this way, and I get paid to look that way. That's the fucking dynamic. Shut the fuck up." (laughs)

8. 54:22 – 1:00:15

   Lessons on Good Friendships

   1. DSDaniel Sloss54:22

   2. CWChris Williamson54:22

      What about good friendships? 'Cause you talk about that in the book, right? And you talk about Kai and tour manager and stuff like that, but you got friends with girls that you've been friends with for years and-

   3. DSDaniel Sloss54:31

      Yeah.

   4. CWChris Williamson54:31

      ... what about principles of good friendship and lessons that you've got from that?

   5. DSDaniel Sloss54:34

      Um, I j- I think it's, you know, I, I would say...My friends will all tell you that I'm a very, very good friend. Uh, I sometimes feel like a bad friend, 'cause I'm really bad (laughs) at communication and staying in con- talk with friends. If you're in front of me as my friend, I'll talk to you for hours and hours and hours until you go. But if a one of my friends texts me, "Hey, how are you?" I'm like, "Ugh. What are you doing?" Like, let's, like... I'll, I'll talk to you when I fucking see you. Like, I travel. I'm not gonna be on my phone all day just, you know, messaging you. But I do like my friends from high school, uh, and the ones that do keep in contact with me, because, you know, the- the friendships I've had the longest. And the people that have known you the longest are very, very good at telling you when you're not being true to yourself. Like, they're the ones that, you know, are able to... You know, they're very supportive, at le- at least my friends are. But any time I've stepped out of line or let... my ego's gotten too fucking big, or they feel like I'm going in a direction that's not me, they'll go, "Oy, dickhead." Because who I am doesn't matter to them, and then that's absolutely the way it should be. Like, I am... The only people that think I'm, you know, famous and important are the people that fucking love me. And you should enjoy their opinions, th- those, but you sh- that shouldn't be what you think of yourself. It's the people that have known you the, the longest. And I, I think it's very, very important to have friends for... Friends that you can trust to do anything for you, and who you would do anything for, but ones that are going to be honest when you need them to be. Like, that's, you know... In a, in a world of fucking lies and bullshit, you need the people that are willing to look you dead in the eyes and go, "You're a cunt now." And, and, and, and, and I've had that happen a lot at different points in my life from people I love, being like, "You are turning into a fucking cunt." And every time it made me take a big step back and go, "Okay." Like, that hurt. Don't get me wrong that, like... That was a deep kick in the fucking balls there, but, you know, you wouldn't be saying it if it wasn't true.

   6. CWChris Williamson56:40

      It's one of those things. We've got a loneliness pandemic, or a loneliness epidemic, sort of sweeping the world at the moment, and it is... It's one of those things. I'm surprised by some of the comments that I see on YouTube. I did an episode with Jordan Peterson and we talked about, um, losing friends as you grow older. So, as you grow up, and you kind of change, and maybe people were with you, but you're not that person that they were with anymore. It's not that they actually love the essence of you. It's that they loved party Dan or TV Dan-

   7. DSDaniel Sloss57:05

      Yes.

   8. CWChris Williamson57:05

      ... or whatever the fuck. Um, and I was really surprised in the comments because people were saying, a lot of people... And this may skew because YouTube attracts people who maybe spend more time on the internet than they do with friends. But I was really surprised at how many people said, "Don't need friends." Like, "Tried, tried to, to work with other people." Uh, like, "I'll make a go of it on my own." I'm like, man, like... I, I understand the compulsion of where that's coming from. I genuinely do. Like, the world's scorned you, and you've tried to make friends with people, and it hasn't worked, and you now think, "Right, fuck that. I'm not gonna bother. I'm just gonna keep, keep to myself, and this is a safer way to not get hurt." I'm just surprised. I'm surprised by how many people, how many people have that approach.

   9. DSDaniel Sloss57:46

      I think that's... Yeah. And that... Man, that saddens me, man. Like, I... Man, I love my, uh, I love my friends and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. Like, I, I'm terrified of the person I would be if I was just given fucking free range and not corrected and... I'm not being corrected in bad ways. I'm not being hampered or, you know, cut down, but there's people that know and want the best for me. And when I'm not acting with my... 'Cause we... Mind you, we, we like to think we know when we're acting with our own, in our own self-interests, but that's not how the ego works, and that's not how... You know, we're not that... At least I'm not that fucking intelligent that I don't know when I'm self-sabotaging or when I'm being fucking lazy or... Man, on, on the other side of things, like... Man, there was points on this tour, doing this tour now where I fucking hated the show. Like, 'cause I, I'd just done it too much and I was just... If I was being... Now that I'm, I'm past it I can be honest. I was getting just a bit lazy. I was kind of reigning it in a bit. And we did some shows in London, and London's very sensitive nowadays, and, and, and I- I was fucking hating the show and I was just ranting about it to anyone that would fucking listen. And it was f- my friends that have known me for several years and seen all my stuff that were like, "Okay, cool." Like, "We're, we're sad that you're sad, but this is a good show, and we know it better than you do at this point. Like, you're being illogical."

   10. CWChris Williamson59:04

       Mm-hmm.

   11. DSDaniel Sloss59:04

       On the other side of things, it, um, helps. But, uh... Man, I'm very good at cutting people out of my life too. Like, if there's somebody in my life who I don't like at... Like, just because we've been friends for eight to nine years, like if you make such a turn in personality that I can't see eye to eye with you anymore. And not just like on a fucking little political thing. Like, I, I don't want to be one of those people where, "Man, I don't agree with you politically, but we're still friends." Like, I, I, I think it's... Politics is such a small thing in, in the actual experience of life, uh, to, to lose.

   12. CWChris Williamson59:35

       Yeah. We bond over far more than, like-

   13. DSDaniel Sloss59:37

       Yeah.

   14. CWChris Williamson59:37

       ... what are your thoughts of fiscal policy, or where should we be at to do with this type of, like, gun regulation, or some fucking bullshit?

   15. DSDaniel Sloss59:44

       Yeah. And I don't agree with all that. I think t- it's important to have fucking feelings on those things, and, and, and opinions and everything. But for me personally, for who I am, I, I, I don't really care. Like, I don't talk about p- I'll vote and you'll vote and then that's what'll happen. We're not gonna change each other's opinions realistically. Uh, but if there's somebody that's done something reprehensible or I just think they've become a shitty fucking person, I can cut you out like that and feel... And the reason I can do that is 'cause I've got a bunch of other friends.

   16. CWChris Williamson1:00:13

       (laughs)

   17. DSDaniel Sloss1:00:13

       That's why you need lots of them.

   18. CWChris Williamson1:00:14

       Backup armor.

9. 1:00:15 – 1:07:40

   Repeating a Show 300 Times

   1. CWChris Williamson1:00:15

   2. DSDaniel Sloss1:00:15

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson1:00:15

      Uh, you were talking there about having lost a little bit of love for one of the shows that you did.

   4. DSDaniel Sloss1:00:19

      Yeah.

   5. CWChris Williamson1:00:19

      So, you're touring, and you did this with a bunch of different shows. You've done one of them, what, like, 400 times or something? Or 500?

   6. DSDaniel Sloss1:00:24

      We, we, we di- we did... No. We did X, I think it was... Yeah, 300, uh, performances of X.

   7. CWChris Williamson1:00:30

      Disgusting amount of times. Um-

   8. DSDaniel Sloss1:00:31

      Yeah, yeah. Dis- Yeah, an inhumane amount.

   9. CWChris Williamson1:00:33

      How do you not lose love for the art form generally? How do you stop yourself from resenting comedy wholesale because you're kind of... You've turned something that you love into a labor?

   10. DSDaniel Sloss1:00:46

       Well, that's, that's, uh, it's about slowing it down. Um, like, it's, it's about understanding that, you know, for so many of, years of my career, it was all about striking while the iron was hot, because it was like, "Who knows when this is gonna be over? Like, I was given this opportunity here, and I'm really hot right now. I've gotta fucking act on this."

   11. CWChris Williamson1:01:04

       Work hard, yeah.

   12. DSDaniel Sloss1:01:05

       Yeah, yeah. And then that went, that went, that led to this, and then another iron strike, and I've gotta fucking work hard, and then I've gotta capitalize on this, and so on and so forth. And then the reason that that 300, uh, show tour was such a nightmare was just because it was after Netflix came out and everything blew up. And, uh, and we were just constantly striking, and it turned into this 300-date tour. And I lost the love of the job, and I resented my audience, which I never wanted to do, or, or, or get to that stage, because that's just such a stereotypical, "Oh, all of your dreams came true and then you hated them." Like, oh fuck, you've really become that cunt? Like, you're that old trope? Jesus. Um, but it's, uh, I, I worked so many hard... I worked so hard for so many years so that I could take the foot off the accelerator. And thankfully now my career's at a position where I can just go, "All right. I'm established in all continents," apart from, you know, Antarctica.

   13. CWChris Williamson1:02:03

       The cold ones.

   14. DSDaniel Sloss1:02:04

       Yeah, yeah, the cold ones. Um, I do, you know, most territories. Um, I, I think the b- uh, the only people I'm second to are, like, Eddie Izzard, um, Jimmy, uh, Gabriel Iglesias, and Bill Burr. Um, and, uh, my audience are great. They're incredibly loyal, because I've managed to somehow fucking make something that went quite cult, and that's been very cool. Uh, and now it's slowing down. It's just going, "Man, I wanna... I want to be able to do this show many times," because that's, uh, touring has always been the goal for me. I love it. It's my favorite part. That's what being a comedian is, is touring. That's the job. I'm a road comic. Uh, and, but it's about making sure there's gaps in between those tours, and that they're easy. It doesn't have to be every single day now. Like, it can be, I can take two or three weeks off at a time, then go to Australia. Do a month in Australia, come back, take a month off, and then start doing around the UK. Just so that I've got time to be myself, uh, because it's not fucking Daniel Sloss, stage comedian that comes up with the jokes. It's not i- Like, he performs what I think, but I've got to have fucking time to think, uh, to turn over. So otherwise, I'm j- If I'm working every day and I'm being that heightened psychopath on stage, then (laughs) that's not good. And also, uh, man, I drink on stage. And because after the show when you've got so much adrenaline, man, it's really hard to go to sleep for me without marijuana after a show. Like, it's, you know, if a show ends at fucking 11:00 and I'm meeting fans afterwards, uh, and taking photos until about midnight, half 12:00, uh, and, and my flight's at 5:00 AM, without weeds, I'm not sleeping. There's too much... And that's another fact that you have to take in. If I'm doing a big, long tour, I know my health's gonna fucking deteriorate because I don't have the emotional maturity l- yet to, to not feel like a fucking rock star when I do this. And I know I shouldn't, and I'm working on it. But that's the... You know, this, this tour's like the... The reason I'm, I'm allowing myself this America tour to be everything I want it to be is because I, I, I really do think this is the last time I'll, I'll, I'll do it like this. Because this is the post-COVID one. Everyone's gonna be fucking excited to be out. I'm excited to be out and doing it. Uh, and I'm just like, "Just fucking do it properly." 'Cause after this, I'm definitely slowing down.

   15. CWChris Williamson1:04:35

       Considering slowing down.

   16. DSDaniel Sloss1:04:36

       Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, man, I mean, no, 'cause like, I mean, you were an inspiration for it. You were sober for how long?

   17. CWChris Williamson1:04:41

       1000 days.

   18. DSDaniel Sloss1:04:43

       Yeah. So I mean, I'll not do that much. But all my friends, uh, there's another great comedian called Nick Cody, uh, who went sober for a year, and he says it really, uh, he said it was difficult but it really helped. Well, he said the first month's difficult, and then after that it's a habit, and it's just, it's easy, like, from that point. Once you get used to not doing it, you know. Um, and I've always fascinated... Like, I mean, I know I drink a lot, and I mean, I'm a drug addict when it comes to marijuana, which isn't a bad thing to be addicted to. But being addicted to anything isn't fucking great for you, it's, you know, but, uh-

   19. CWChris Williamson1:05:15

       What would be harder to kick, drinking or marijuana?

   20. DSDaniel Sloss1:05:17

       Marijuana.

   21. CWChris Williamson1:05:18

       Really?

   22. DSDaniel Sloss1:05:19

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Um, I can... I, I, I like drinking on stage, um, because, well, for several reasons, me, I, one of the big ones, I think it makes me look cool. Like, and then, and I've re- and um, when I grew up and I watched stand-up, Bill Hicks would smoke on stage, Ed Byrne would smoke on stage, and I still associate smoking with being fucking cool. Anytime I can smoke on stage, I do, even if I don't smoke. Like, but if we're in, like, Russian venues or fucking, uh, Bulgarian ve-, I'm like, "Can I smoke on stage?" They're like, "Yeah, we don't care." I'll do it. Really hard t- to time jokes. And so that's a different fuck- You'd think it would just be easy, but no. Really makes you appreciate that Dylan Moran, uh, and, and, and Bill Hicks had, were masters of timing with all this. Um, but Dylan Moran drinking a bottle of wine on stage, that was always just so cool.

   23. CWChris Williamson1:06:10

       He's fucking great. What's he doing? Is he doing stand-up still?

   24. DSDaniel Sloss1:06:12

       Yes. Yeah, yeah. Th- Yeah. Uh, he's, um... Well, he does a- he does a lot of acting nowadays.

   25. CWChris Williamson1:06:18

       Yeah. I knew he got huge into TV.

   26. DSDaniel Sloss1:06:21

       Um, and, and, and writing and stuff. Um, but no, he still does stand-up. I mean, I love Dylan Moran. Um, so for me, man, I used to drink gin and tonics on stage and, uh, (laughs) that just felt like a bit of fucking-

   27. CWChris Williamson1:06:33

       Club hat. (laughs)

   28. DSDaniel Sloss1:06:34

       ... widowy to me. No. And like, you know, gin and tonic's a widow's drink. Like, it's (laughs) something you drink on the porch while you do a crossword and reminisce about your fucking late husband.

   29. CWChris Williamson1:06:47

       (laughs)

   30. DSDaniel Sloss1:06:47

       (laughs) Whereas, you know, I, I got into whiskey and I'm like, "I'm, I'm Scottish, uh, uh, and, and, and it's, it's a strong drink, and also it forces me to slow down." You can't... Like, with a gin and tonic I can just, "Da-da-da-da-da-da. Uh, na-na-da-za-zed." You can't do that with whiskey. It's a real slow fucking drink. Um, and yeah, and it's part of the, it's part of the performance. Like, it's part of the illusion, uh, the theater of like... The reason, the reason you don't talk while I'm talking is because I've got so much to say that I can afford to sit down, pour myself a whiskey, drink it, and you as an audience will say fucking nothing. (laughs)
10. 1:07:40 – 1:08:25

    Where to Find Daniel

    1. CWChris Williamson1:07:40

       To Die will be linked in the show notes below. Don't try and contact you on social media, 'cause you're not on there.

    2. DSDaniel Sloss1:07:45

       Nope. I mean, you could, I mean, you can. Um, my, my agent will occasionally send me a screenshot of a nice compliment. (laughs) But I don't read many of my agent's emails, so it doesn't matter. (laughs)

    3. CWChris Williamson1:07:55

       (laughs)

    4. DSDaniel Sloss1:07:55

       So (laughs) I'm not, I'm not even necessarily gonna see that. Um-

    5. CWChris Williamson1:07:59

       Man, well, look, good luck with the tour, dude. And, uh, I will see you when you're back.

    6. DSDaniel Sloss1:08:02

       All right. Definitely, man. Thank you.

    7. CWChris Williamson1:08:04

       Big love.

    8. DSDaniel Sloss1:08:05

       Love you too, bud.

    9. CWChris Williamson1:08:06

       Thank you very much for tuning in. If you enjoyed that, then press here for a selection of the best clips from the podcast over the last few months. And don't forget to subscribe. It makes me very happy indeed. Peace.

Episode duration: 1:08:25