Dating, Cheetos, Liquor, Biden, Bernie & Fitness | Michael Malice | Modern Wisdom Podcast 140

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   So angry old man…

   1. MMMichael Malice0:00

      So angry old man Biden is this kind of bubbling understory that I really need to see a lot more of and my dream is that he gets the nomination and he gets, let's say, physically incapacitated some ... God forbid, and then the party steals it and gives it to Hillary.

   2. CWChris Williamson0:16

      (laughs)

   3. MMMichael Malice0:16

      Which would, is not an impossibility at all and I would desperately love that to happen. I wanna see her lose three times.

   4. CWChris Williamson0:22

      (laughs)

   5. MMMichael Malice0:22

      It's like, uh, any mummy, any mummy movie you're gonna have a trilogy, right?

   6. CWChris Williamson0:26

      Yeah, okay, yeah.

   7. MMMichael Malice0:26

      We need the mummy to come back for the third time and get her final defeat.

   8. CWChris Williamson0:29

      Where does Dwayne Johnson fit into this 'cause he must have to-

   9. MMMichael Malice0:31

      The Rock? (laughs)

   10. CWChris Williamson0:33

       Yeah. (laughs)

   11. MMMichael Malice0:34

       He said he's gonna run.

   12. CWChris Williamson0:35

       Is that what, is that what's happening? I'd vote for The Rock.

   13. MMMichael Malice0:37

       I think 2024 maybe, yeah.

   14. CWChris Williamson0:38

       Yeah, I'd vote for The Rock. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. Michael Malice in the building. Woo.

   15. MMMichael Malice0:48

       That's true.

   16. CWChris Williamson0:49

       There he is.

   17. MMMichael Malice0:50

       Hi.

   18. CWChris Williamson0:51

       How are you?

   19. MMMichael Malice0:52

       I'm great.

   20. CWChris Williamson0:52

       Fantastic. What's been happening in ... Actually, no, first off, Dave Rubin got you in a full ensemble and I go, I get you in a T-shirt. What's happening?

   21. MMMichael Malice1:03

       Uh, yeah, well, you also, this is Skype. You wanna, if you want, when you get a studio and not a bedroom, then I'll dress appropriately.

   22. CWChris Williamson1:09

       Okay.

   23. MMMichael Malice1:09

       I'm in my pajamas, see?

   24. CWChris Williamson1:11

       Those are nice.

   25. MMMichael Malice1:13

       Yeah.

   26. CWChris Williamson1:13

       That's a nice check on the bottom, the bottom half.

   27. MMMichael Malice1:15

       Thank you.

   28. CWChris Williamson1:16

       You look cool.

   29. MMMichael Malice1:16

       And I've got some nice farm socks for no reason.

   30. CWChris Williamson1:19

       (laughs)
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   They're also the ones…

   1. MMMichael Malice15:00

      very, very forward and aggressive, like grabbing his genitals, are like the really unattractive ones who just go up to him and like treat him like meat. Is that your experience?

   2. CWChris Williamson15:09

      They're also the ones with daddy issues.

   3. MMMichael Malice15:11

      Okay.

   4. CWChris Williamson15:11

      The ones that come up and do that are the, the ones who are the real sort of freaks when you-

   5. MMMichael Malice15:15

      And that, but that happens?

   6. CWChris Williamson15:17

      Sometimes.

   7. MMMichael Malice15:17

      Okay.

   8. CWChris Williamson15:17

      I mean, it's still, it takes a very, very ballsy girl to come and do that. Like, to, to be the, the forward-thinker. I'm speaking to Heather Berlin, who's an evolutionary psychologist, at the end of the week, and I've been reading up a little bit about it, and it is like there is no, essentially no species in the world where the woman is the sexual protagonist. And the same goes for, it takes such a brave girl to come and do that.

   9. MMMichael Malice15:40

      Do you get m- men being openly hostile to you when they meet you?

   10. CWChris Williamson15:45

       No.

   11. MMMichael Malice15:45

       Or like they're not, they're not like giving you the eye?

   12. CWChris Williamson15:48

       No. I think there's guys who are significantly more alpha than I am, and they might, they might do it with them. Um, but my livelihood the last 13 years has been standing on the front door of night clubs, so I've seen a million people walk past me in night clubs, 'cause that's what I do, I fill clubs. And, um, it's meant that, I don't know, my demeanor of just kind of being accepting and normalizing of just humans in a n- in a kind of an environment, normal social environment, I think seems to kinda quell that pretty quickly.

   13. MMMichael Malice16:16

       Okay.

   14. CWChris Williamson16:16

       Um, so there's-

   15. MMMichael Malice16:16

       It's interesting.

   16. CWChris Williamson16:17

       ... there's never any of that. I don't know. I mean, what, what was it like for you? Talk to me about your sort of dating.

   17. MMMichael Malice16:22

       I'm not a hunk.

   18. CWChris Williamson16:23

       That's true. That's true.

   19. MMMichael Malice16:23

       So I don't have to ... I, finally I got my abs in, so I, I feel comfortable talking about this stuff with you.

   20. CWChris Williamson16:28

       Yeah.

   21. MMMichael Malice16:28

       But it's very interesting how people who are outliers physically-

   22. CWChris Williamson16:33

       Mm-hmm.

   23. MMMichael Malice16:34

       ... what their experiences are and how different they are and how different from how people perceive them to be. Uh, like if you, uh, again, like I have a friend who's a model, and she's complaining ... There's two scenarios, right? One where she's complaining, "I can't find a dude." Well, that's 'cause you're a, a picky bitch. But then there's the one where, yeah, the kind of guy she would want would never think to approach her, 'cause he thinks that she would never be interested in him. And when you're at her level, she doesn't need to be dating a model dude-

   24. CWChris Williamson17:03

       Mm.

   25. MMMichael Malice17:03

       ... because she's like, "I'm gonna be the pretty one. I'm fine. I want someone who can hold my interest."

   26. CWChris Williamson17:08

       Mm. It's-

   27. MMMichael Malice17:09

       So it's, at that level, it's very, very weird.

   28. CWChris Williamson17:11

       It's challenging for girls. It's really challenging for girls, I think, because of hypergamy, right? So women tend-

   29. MMMichael Malice17:17

       Right.

   30. CWChris Williamson17:17

       ... naturally to date up and across. And it's the problem, the same problem for any girls that are listening, if you are over six foot one, like I, I feel for you, because you're, you're having to look for athletes, you know, like basketball players, stuff like that. Like girls tend not to date men shorter than them. So if you are-
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah, you wanna feel…

   1. MMMichael Malice30:00

      That's fun, 'cause I put in the work.

   2. CWChris Williamson30:02

      Yeah, you wanna feel like it's ... you've ... it's a shortcut to success.

   3. MMMichael Malice30:05

      Yes, I've earned it.

   4. CWChris Williamson30:07

      Yeah.

   5. MMMichael Malice30:07

      This is my sh- this ... And this shirt has seen some tough times.

   6. CWChris Williamson30:09

      This is my sweat patches.

   7. MMMichael Malice30:10

      Exactly.

   8. CWChris Williamson30:13

      Yeah, I'm a, I'm a man who probably shortcuts that. But then, I, I buy cheap stuff. Do you know what I mean? I spend my nights surrounded by drunken students on the front door of a nightclub. I don't want anything nice. Everything nice-

   9. MMMichael Malice30:23

      Wait, so-

   10. CWChris Williamson30:23

       ... that I own is destroyed.

   11. MMMichael Malice30:25

       How annoying is it ... Do they ... Are they all up in your face about the show and about Insta?

   12. CWChris Williamson30:30

       Um, they were when it was a little bit more recent, so it's been like four and a half-

   13. MMMichael Malice30:33

       Okay.

   14. CWChris Williamson30:34

       ... four and a half years now. Um, a little bit more. I got barred from the front door of my own event by my business partner because-

   15. MMMichael Malice30:41

       Oh.

   16. CWChris Williamson30:41

       ... because when I would walk around outside, there would just be this throng of people that would like, "Ugh, ugh, ugh," like cats jumping up and down or something. Um, but that- that's kinda, that's kinda chilled now so I can actually do my job again, which is, which is nice.

   17. MMMichael Malice30:56

       Do you get hit on more by chicks or by dudes?

   18. CWChris Williamson30:59

       Chicks. I give off a real bad gay vibe. It's just-

   19. MMMichael Malice31:01

       Really?

   20. CWChris Williamson31:02

       Yeah, my gaydar ... Oh, I don't know how it works. My gaydar is accurate for other people, but my like, appearance on the gaydar for r- for people that are gay (inhales deeply) ... no.

   21. MMMichael Malice31:11

       Huh. I thought the pretty guys get hit on the most. I did not know this. Okay, interesting.

   22. CWChris Williamson31:15

       I'm not sure. We were asking this question the other day. I wanna know, if you're a gay man, like how do you know if you're, if you're like a, a top or a bottom?

   23. MMMichael Malice31:23

       I have no i- I, I, I don't know.

   24. CWChris Williamson31:25

       What ... Do you know what I mean? Like if you're listening, and can you please explain, like do you s- do you sometimes swap? Is it a, you know, is it always a one, a one-way street type thing? I wanna know. 'Cause on, in, on Grindr, you can choose whether or not you're top or bottom. Or I think-

   25. MMMichael Malice31:39

       Okay.

   26. CWChris Williamson31:39

       ... you might be able to choose both. But like, how would you know? And what if two tops arrive, or two bottoms?

   27. MMMichael Malice31:45

       Well, I, I think the analog would be, do you like choking her in bed or do you like getting choked in bed, right?

   28. CWChris Williamson31:51

       But you can still have sex either way.

   29. MMMichael Malice31:54

       Right, but it's more like which is the more dominant and which is the more submit- or I don't know. I think we're talking about things we're not really familiar with, so it would ha-

   30. CWChris Williamson32:03

       Do, we def- we, we definitely are. That is definitely correct. What else have we got here? Um, oh, mushrooms.
4. 45:00 – 59:34

   Yeah. Which I don't…

   1. MMMichael Malice45:00

      have a clean slate next time.

   2. CWChris Williamson45:01

      Yeah. Which I don't think's gonna change anything, either. Okay, so we've got that with, with Bernie moving forward. Have you got ... Do you put your money where your mouth is with stuff for what's gonna happen later this year, or are you not, do you not do that this far out?

   3. MMMichael Malice45:12

      I've put my money where my mouth is that I donated money to Biden because I want a year of him campaigning. Uh, he just recently went to the coal miners and told them, uh, "If you know how to c- shovel coal, you can learn how to program a computer." Which is a lie, that's not accurate. I don't ... If y- someone knows how to use a computer doesn't mean they can shovel coal, either. So i- his son being a, an admitted crackhead, um, the fact that we can use the word crackhead and have it be funny again ... Whenever he tweets, I always tweet with a response of a cracked pipe-

   4. CWChris Williamson45:40

      (laughs)

   5. MMMichael Malice45:40

      ... and people reply to me, "That's not a crackpipe, that's a meth pipe." And how foolish of me-

   6. CWChris Williamson45:46

      (sighs)

   7. MMMichael Malice45:46

      ... not to know the distinction between the two. Or they correct me, "He's not the crackhead, his son is the crackhead." Oh-

   8. CWChris Williamson45:52

      (laughs) Yeah.

   9. MMMichael Malice45:52

      How embarrassing. So I want a year of this, plus he's been getting very, very, um, um, feisty on the campaign trail. He's been yelling at people, he's been turning his backs on them, he's been telling them to vote for Trump. So angry old man Biden is this kind of bubbling understory that I really need to see a lot more of. And my dream is that he gets the nomination and he gets, let's say, physically incapacitated in some, G- God forbid, and then the party steals it and gives it to Hillary.

   10. CWChris Williamson46:20

       (laughs)

   11. MMMichael Malice46:20

       Which, wh- is not an impossibility at all, and I would desperately love that to happen. I wanna see her lose three times.

   12. CWChris Williamson46:27

       (laughs)

   13. MMMichael Malice46:27

       It's like any m- any Mummy movie, you're gonna have a trilogy, right?

   14. CWChris Williamson46:30

       Yeah, okay, yeah.

   15. MMMichael Malice46:30

       You need the mummy to come back for the third time and get her final defeat.

   16. CWChris Williamson46:34

       Where does Dwayne Johnson fit into this? 'Cause he must have to come-

   17. MMMichael Malice46:36

       The Rock? (laughs)

   18. CWChris Williamson46:38

       Yeah. (laughs)

   19. MMMichael Malice46:38

       He said he's gonna run.

   20. CWChris Williamson46:39

       Is that what it is? Is that what's happening? I'd vote for The Rock.

   21. MMMichael Malice46:41

       I think in 2024, maybe. Yeah.

   22. CWChris Williamson46:43

       Yeah, I'd vote for The Rock.

   23. MMMichael Malice46:44

       But Trump runs for his third term.

   24. CWChris Williamson46:46

       Fuck, man.

   25. MMMichael Malice46:47

       So wait, let me ask you this, Mr. Fitness Guy. How do you stay motivated on a cut? And how do you psychologically handle losing the strength?

   26. CWChris Williamson47:00

       Um-

   27. MMMichael Malice47:00

       Those mind games are the toughest part-

   28. CWChris Williamson47:02

       Okay.

   29. MMMichael Malice47:02

       ... 'cause I was at the gym last week and my lifts are all down, and it's like, "What's the point?" Blah, blah, bl- You know, it, the brain f- fucks with itself.

   30. CWChris Williamson47:09

       Mm-hmm. So the problem you've got when you're training for aesthetics and not performance-

Episode duration: 59:33