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How To Identify Your Internal Fears - Corey Wilks

Corey Wilks is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Executive Coach. Fears hold us back. They encourage us to shy away from challenges, they cause us to fall short of our potential and make life miserable while they’re at it. Corey has created a framework of identifying and overcoming our internal fears from a decade of clinical and coaching experience with some of the world’s highest performers. Expect to learn why 76% of people talk about not facing their fears as a deathbed regret, the four categories of fears Corey has most commonly found with his clients, how self-sabotaging behaviour is driven by internal worries, how procrastination, perfectionism and complacency are all part of the same equation and much more… Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get £250 discount on Eight Sleep products at https://eightsleep.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get 83% discount & 3 months free from Surfshark VPN at https://surfshark.deals/MODERNWISDOM (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours at https://www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Extra Stuff: Check out Corey's website - https://coreywilkspsyd.com/ Follow Corey on Twitter - https://twitter.com/CoreyWilksPsyD Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #psychology #highperformance #mindset - 00:00 Intro 01:19 From Therapist to Coach 10:08 Are Successful People Fearless? 20:15 Spotting Self-Sabotaging Behaviour 30:36 Problems of Independent Workers 35:07 Dealing with Complacency 44:19 Being Raised in a Low-Income Home 50:07 Strategies to Mitigate Internal Fears 55:04 Importance of a Support Group 1:06:12 Where to Find Corey - Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Listen to all episodes on audio: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Corey WilksguestChris Williamsonhost
Jun 16, 20221h 7mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. 0:00 – 1:18

    Regret, fear, and why the show goes on (despite travel chaos)

    Corey opens with the idea that most people die with the regret of choosing mediocrity over facing fear. Chris then sets the scene with a chaotic return to the UK and uses it to underline professionalism and momentum: the work continues.

    • Deathbed regret framed as fear-driven complacency
    • Choosing safety over chances as a common life pattern
    • Chris’ travel mishap becomes a real-time example of persistence
    • Tone-setting: candid, irreverent, action-oriented conversation
  2. 1:18 – 4:15

    Therapy vs coaching: baseline functioning vs optimization

    Chris asks what changes when you move from clinical therapy to coaching high performers. Corey explains therapy focuses on restoring basic functioning, while coaching assumes stability and targets small, high-leverage tweaks for performance.

    • Therapy addresses dysfunction (panic, depression, suicidality) before growth
    • Coaching targets optimization once fundamentals are stable
    • High performers may have anxiety/mood issues but usually not crippling
    • Key distinction: higher baseline functioning changes the intervention
  3. 4:15 – 5:58

    The shared human drivers across success levels

    Corey argues that regardless of income or status, people want similar core outcomes: connection, meaning, and to feel they matter. He uses his own low-income upbringing to show aspiration is universal even if belief and access differ.

    • Universal needs: connection, fulfillment, significance
    • Background shapes what feels ‘possible,’ not what’s desired
    • Low-income upbringing doesn’t remove ambition—often it limits confidence
    • “New levels, new devils” as challenges evolve with progress
  4. 5:58 – 10:09

    The ‘Four Horsemen of Fear’ that limit high performers

    Corey outlines four recurring fear buckets that show up even among the most accomplished: failure, uncertainty, ridicule, and success. He gives examples of wealthy founders and big creators still fearing collapse, judgment, wrong turns, or personal change after winning.

    • Fear of failure persists; it just changes form (e.g., ‘it’ll all collapse’)
    • Fear of uncertainty leads to paralysis at decision forks
    • Fear of ridicule encourages playing small and avoiding ‘weirdness’
    • Fear of success drives subconscious resistance and identity concerns
  5. 10:09 – 20:09

    Do elite performers lose fear—or just learn to mute it?

    Chris contrasts the ‘horsemen’ with highly seasoned, self-assured thinkers he’s met, questioning whether self-belief precedes success or comes from reps. Corey suggests fears often cycle, but repeated exposure makes them quieter and more manageable.

    • Self-belief may be built through iteration and reps
    • Fears emerge most when you deeply care about the work
    • Making the unknown known reduces fear’s intensity
    • Experience teaches recovery: “I’ve already dealt with this”
  6. 20:09 – 26:13

    Self-sabotage as a symptom: perfectionism, impostor syndrome, procrastination

    Corey reframes common struggles as fear-based avoidance strategies rather than fixed traits. Perfectionism and impostor syndrome often function to delay exposure to ridicule; procrastination often hides fear of failure, even if distraction can also contribute.

    • Functional analysis: ask what a behavior is ‘for’
    • Perfectionism = avoiding publishing and public evaluation
    • Impostor syndrome as an excuse that protects against judgment
    • Procrastination frequently avoids failure by never shipping
  7. 26:13 – 30:39

    Building momentum: cadence, accountability, and outsourcing uncertainty

    Chris shares how consistent schedules and external accountability helped him ship podcasts and a weekly newsletter without missing. Corey highlights how hiring coaches/programs removes uncertainty and reduces the mental burden of deciding what to do next.

    • Regular cadence turns ‘should’ into ‘must’
    • External accountability leverages embarrassment and obligation
    • Build frequency/difficulty gradually to sustain consistency
    • Outsource decisions (training, diet) to reduce uncertainty paralysis
  8. 30:39 – 35:16

    Creators’ hidden problem: choosing the work, then iterating instead of pass/fail thinking

    They discuss the unique pain of solo creators: not only doing the work but deciding what work matters. Corey recommends treating progress as iterative experimentation, using feedback and data rather than a binary success/failure mindset.

    • Solo work requires both execution and prioritization
    • Iteration makes risk psychologically safer and more actionable
    • Use market/audience feedback as guidance for versioning
    • Avoid perfectionism traps by aiming for ‘good enough to learn’
  9. 35:16 – 39:34

    Complacency vs contentment: fear of success expressed as settling

    Corey distinguishes gratitude (contentment) from stagnation (complacency). He argues many people ‘declare’ they have enough to avoid the fear and risk required to pursue what they really want, leading to long-term regret.

    • Contentment = gratitude; complacency = choosing stagnation
    • Settling can be a defense against fear and risk
    • Deathbed regret framed as decades traded for later enjoyment
    • Memento mori as a motivator to act now and accept misses
  10. 39:34 – 44:19

    Personal narrative and metacognition: identity words shape destiny

    Chris and Corey explore how internal language and identity labels (‘victim’ vs ‘survivor’) redirect life trajectories. Corey emphasizes metacognition—examining thoughts—as foundational, because beliefs about worthiness and capability determine effort and outcomes.

    • Identity frames perception: broken/victim vs survivor/agentic
    • Negative narratives cap what feels true/possible/deserved
    • Thought repetition can overwrite objective reality
    • Metacognition enables changing the story that drives behavior
  11. 44:19 – 50:07

    Working-class money psychology: deservingness, scarcity habits, and self-valuation

    Chris describes struggling to spend money on himself despite financial progress, linking it to a working-class mindset. Corey relates, noting it’s easier to justify business spending than personal enjoyment, and ties this to undervaluing oneself in client work and pricing.

    • Scarcity conditioning leads to nickel-and-diming time and purchases
    • Easier to invest in ‘business’ than in personal comfort or joy
    • Upbringing anchors what feels expensive or ‘for people like me’
    • Mindset impacts pricing, self-worth, and receiving rewards
  12. 50:07 – 55:04

    Fear inoculation: pre-rehearsing worst cases to make the unknown manageable

    Corey lays out a practical strategy: assume the feared outcome happens and design a recovery plan. By rehearsing responses to failure, ridicule, uncertainty, or success, you reduce fear’s power because you prove to yourself you can recover and course-correct.

    • Fear inoculation works like a vaccine: controlled exposure to the ‘bad thing’
    • Failure: plan recovery and iterate like a scientist using data
    • Ridicule: assess source, do damage control, ignore low-status criticism
    • Uncertainty/success: define minimal info, course-correct, build humility and support
  13. 55:04 – 1:02:33

    Support systems, role models, and finding your people (including online)

    Chris argues progress is harder without close role models and a supportive community, but ‘reverse role models’ can still teach what to avoid. Corey adds that online communities and cohort-based learning reduce gatekeeping, making it easier to find peers and mentors regardless of geography.

    • Dialogue-capable role models matter more than distant heroes
    • Reverse role models: learn by avoiding ‘multiply by zero’ mistakes
    • Online communities make support accessible beyond local environments
    • Men’s groups and high performers still need connection and spaces to be real
  14. 1:02:33 – 1:06:06

    ‘People like me don’t do that’: roots, accents, and representation as permission

    Corey shares how he tried to lose his Appalachian accent to fit a ‘successful’ mold, then realized many peers did the same. They emphasize the power of seeing role models who look and sound like you to dismantle identity-based ceilings.

    • Identity belief: ‘people from where I’m from don’t do X’
    • Assimilation pressure can sever connection to roots
    • Representation provides psychological permission to pursue bigger paths
    • Owning background and voice as part of authentic confidence
  15. 1:06:06 – 1:07:19

    Wrap-up: Corey’s course and where to follow his work

    Chris closes by thanking Corey and asking what’s next. Corey plugs his cohort-based course on overcoming limiting beliefs and directs viewers to his website and social channels.

    • Intentional Life Design cohort focus: limiting beliefs and meaningful work
    • Next cohort timing mentioned (late Aug/early Sept)
    • Where to find Corey online (consistent handle)
    • Final thanks and sign-off

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