How To Survive University

1. 0:06 – 2:59

   Why they’re qualified to talk about uni (and how they messed it up)

   1. CWChris Williamson0:06

      Welcome back. Johnny and Yusuf from Propem Fitness are here again. Today-

   2. JOJonny0:11

      (laughs)

   3. CWChris Williamson0:12

      ... we are going to discuss how to survive university. How many degrees have we got between us? One and a ... uh, you're a chartered accountant. Yeah.

   4. YUYusef0:22

      An ACA.

   5. CWChris Williamson0:23

      One and a ... you're now a bachelor of medicine.

   6. YUYusef0:26

      Oh, yeah, true. Well, I'm, I'm a, a ... is it a health science diploma that you get after halfway through? And then ... so 1, 1.5-

   7. JOJonny0:32

      You're the only one that knows. Don't ask us.

   8. YUYusef0:34

      Oh, okay. (laughs) true.

   9. CWChris Williamson0:36

      (laughs) You've got, you've got kind of two. I've got two. So there's five degrees between us, in like cumulative amount of like what?

   10. YUYusef0:41

       How have you got two?

   11. CWChris Williamson0:43

       (laughs) Masters.

   12. JOJonny0:43

       When did you sneak a second one in? Oh, I see. Right, okay.

   13. YUYusef0:45

       I done a master's, ma- master's.

   14. CWChris Williamson0:46

       Master's.

   15. JOJonny0:46

       Master's.

   16. CWChris Williamson0:47

       So we've been at uni for like, what, f- twelve years between us? Something like that?

   17. JOJonny0:50

       Time.

   18. YUYusef0:50

       Yeah.

   19. JOJonny0:50

       Bare time, bro. Bare time.

   20. YUYusef0:51

       Made every possible mistake that you could make-

   21. JOJonny0:54

       Yeah.

   22. YUYusef0:54

       ... at university. Been waste man, been super productive, and everything in between. So-

   23. JOJonny1:00

       I re-sat a year at uni.

   24. CWChris Williamson1:02

       Did you?

   25. JOJonny1:02

       Yeah.

   26. CWChris Williamson1:03

       What for? I would have never guessed that.

   27. JOJonny1:05

       So ... well, uh, it's part of what I want to talk about.

   28. CWChris Williamson1:08

       Fantastic.

   29. JOJonny1:08

       Went just basically ... came out of first year hard, with momentum.

   30. CWChris Williamson1:14

       (laughs)
2. 2:59 – 5:26

   Freshers’ Week psychology: overwhelm, insecurity, and “latching on”

   1. CWChris Williamson2:59

      Good point. So what do we want to start with? Surviving Freshers' Week is probably a pretty good place to start. Can you remember your first Freshers' Week?

   2. JOJonny3:07

      Uh, yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson3:08

      What happened? Did you do anything funny?

   4. JOJonny3:09

      Just, I just remember total, total overwhelm-

   5. CWChris Williamson3:13

      Yeah. Agree.

   6. JOJonny3:14

      ... by the experience.

   7. CWChris Williamson3:15

      Overwhelm.

   8. JOJonny3:15

      Overwhelm.

   9. CWChris Williamson3:16

      Find overwhelm.

   10. JOJonny3:16

       Overwhelm.

   11. CWChris Williamson3:17

       Where's the overwhelm? I cannot see it.

   12. JOJonny3:19

       I ... so I think don't-

   13. CWChris Williamson3:20

       (laughs)

   14. JOJonny3:20

       ... don't a- literally just hands behind your back, kamikaze headband on, and just go hope for the best.

   15. YUYusef3:28

       Don't, don't do that.

   16. JOJonny3:28

       No, that is what to do.

   17. CWChris Williamson3:29

       Yeah, you need to go thick first.

   18. YUYusef3:31

       With the alcohol?

   19. JOJonny3:31

       Just with everything.

   20. YUYusef3:32

       Or just with anything?

   21. CWChris Williamson3:32

       Yeah.

   22. JOJonny3:33

       I think there are, there are lots of things to consume. Consume all of them in as much as you possibly can.

   23. YUYusef3:38

       It's just a week, isn't it? So-

   24. JOJonny3:39

       Yeah.

   25. CWChris Williamson3:40

       Just, yeah.

   26. YUYusef3:40

       ... dive right in.

   27. CWChris Williamson3:41

       So how, how were your freshers' week? 'Cause when you did your first Freshers' Week, you would have still been Muzlamic.

   28. YUYusef3:46

       Yeah, so that-

   29. CWChris Williamson3:46

       There you go.

   30. YUYusef3:47

       ... that's an interesting point, actually. So I ... for anyone who doesn't know, I've done two degrees, one in maths and business, 2008 to 2012, another one in, um, 2013, '14, up until now, during which time I had a, a crisis of faith. (laughs)
3. 5:26 – 7:18

   Build a real community fast: societies, sport, and Chris’s “events company” hack

   1. CWChris Williamson5:26

      We're tribal, right? That's, so I said this on the social, Social Chain podcast. If you don't play a sport and don't have a really tight hobby that is going to immediately give you some sense of first identity, and then second community with people at uni, what are you bonding with other people over? The people in your course, apart from the fact that they've also chosen to do your course, have in no way been discriminated to your interests or your mindset. This is ... (coughs) So here's my first tip for surviving university, surprise, surprise.... work for an events company. (laughs) Because-

   2. JOJonny5:58

      Oh, here it is. (laughs)

   3. CWChris Williamson6:00

      Yeah, this entire thing was a huge fucking affiliate scheme. No, here's the reason. Here's my justification for why I think you should work for an events company. First off, it gives you support structure of people that are older than you that understand the city. They can tell you where it's good to go for food, where you should go on a night out. You'll get to know a bunch of pe- If you're into partying and if you like to go out and drink, you're immediately going to get a family of 200 to 400 other people, all of whom have got similar interests, they're at the same university. You've got a manager who will look after you the whole time. You get free entry to nightclubs. You get discounted drinks. You get the family that you need at university, and it's a fantastic support structure.

   4. YUYusef6:38

      That is quite a good point, 'cause otherwise, like, the, the alternative is w- like, if you don't expose yourself to a wide range of people straight away is that you end up, like, s- narrowing your slice of people that you experience and withdrawing into just... You know, there's, y- this happens every single time 'cause I've seen so many freshers come through as well where it's just, like, they only hang around with the first four people that they meet-

   5. CWChris Williamson7:02

      Mm-hmm.

   6. YUYusef7:02

      ... and then that's it. And the f- first four may not be com- may not be-

   7. CWChris Williamson7:06

      Good for them.

   8. YUYusef7:06

      ... anything that, you know, overlaps with them apart from the only thing they have in common is that they both were equally desperate to hang onto someone.

   9. CWChris Williamson7:13

      Yeah.

   10. YUYusef7:13

       And then they end up living with them for the following five years, and-

   11. JOJonny7:16

       Yeah, man.

   12. YUYusef7:17

       Um, so-

4. 7:18 – 14:18

   First-year strategy: loosen up, but don’t confuse ‘40% pass’ with ‘40% effort’

   1. CWChris Williamson7:18

      Widening the net of the people that you can reach is a good idea. So things that I think going into freshers, let's, let's go through it year by year. So going into freshers, I think i- it's such a cliché and everybody says it, but, like, your grades do not matter. If you get 40%, that is all that matters. And I even, like, everyone is like, "Oh, well, you know, I know that you only need 40%, but, like, I should..." No. (coughs) For me, at university there is a quite a long period of time, probably six months to 12 months, where you just need to completely let loose. It's the first time you've been away from home from your parents. You've got absolute liberation-

   2. YUYusef8:00

      Mm-hmm.

   3. CWChris Williamson8:00

      ... from all of the previous confines that you used to have. And I think if you don't take advantage of it in your first year, the fear is that that then surfaces in second or third year when it does matter. So bin yourself. I would advise-

   4. YUYusef8:12

      Absolutely.

   5. CWChris Williamson8:13

      ... as much damage as possible-

   6. JOJonny8:14

      Yeah.

   7. CWChris Williamson8:14

      ... to yourself in the first year.

   8. JOJonny8:15

      I can, I can-

   9. YUYusef8:16

      Is that why you're saying throw yourself in to the first year?

   10. JOJonny8:19

       What do you mean?

   11. YUYusef8:20

       Be- because you said that y- you went, y- you kind of spread out the decadence.

   12. JOJonny8:24

       Oh, no, no, I just didn't stop. (laughs)

   13. CWChris Williamson8:28

       I see.

   14. JOJonny8:29

       Very different problem. So, I, I can really clearly remember, um, so one of the first times I met Dan-

   15. CWChris Williamson8:37

       Dan.

   16. JOJonny8:37

       ... Broadcast Gibson, he ha- just happened to be, we went to the same school, but we weren't that friendly at school. He happened to be in the, the, the room, the flat next to me. We were on the same course. And I remember both of us at one point having this conversation that we were, like, we'd missed the library tutorial because we were, th- there was something happening alcohol-related. We just didn't go to anything. Like, I didn't go to anything for, like, the first six months at all.

   17. CWChris Williamson8:59

       (laughs) 'Cause this would've been before, like, smart card check-ins and stuff now.

   18. JOJonny9:03

       Yeah.

   19. YUYusef9:03

       Mm-hmm.

   20. JOJonny9:03

       So, like, there was a whole, like, the, the library was actually quite complicated.

   21. CWChris Williamson9:07

       (coughs)

   22. JOJonny9:07

       And so I didn't get a book out at uni until third year, y- third year final exams.

   23. CWChris Williamson9:11

       You didn't know how to.

   24. JOJonny9:11

       Because I didn't know how to. But I remember being really stressed about it at the time, thinking like, "I'm in fucking uni. I can't-"

   25. CWChris Williamson9:15

       That's impressive.

   26. JOJonny9:16

       "... I can't believe I'm already fucking uni. Like, it's 10 days in." But, like, nothing happened.

   27. YUYusef9:22

       You didn't get a book out-

   28. JOJonny9:23

       It's-

   29. YUYusef9:23

       ... until the final year exams?

   30. JOJonny9:25

       No.
5. 14:18 – 17:08

   Try new things while it’s easy: sports, societies, and identity building

   1. CWChris Williamson14:18

      Yeah. Yeah. I think, um, a good, a good thing to do is potentially try and join a sports team or a society.

   2. JOJonny14:23

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson14:23

      I wish that I had s- doubled down more on the opportunity to play sports.

   4. JOJonny14:27

      (laughs)

   5. CWChris Williamson14:27

      Reason for that is, like, when you get to 25 or 30, like, going, "I'm going to start rowing."

   6. YUYusef14:33

      Mm-hmm.

   7. CWChris Williamson14:33

      Like, no you're not. No you, you're not going to start.

   8. YUYusef14:36

      Time's passed.

   9. CWChris Williamson14:37

      You're not going to start rowing. But at uni, this is a time to try new things, so go, like... I remember thinking Ultimate Frisbee was, like, weird, and I'm, now I think, if you give me the opportunity to try Ultimate Frisbee for a day-

   10. YUYusef14:47

       (laughs) Yeah. You're like, "Absolutely, yes." Yeah.

   11. CWChris Williamson14:48

       ... fucking rights would I go and do Ultimate Frisbee. So I think try as many different societies, sports and societies, as you can. Um, I'd like to segue onto you, Yusuf, about trying to get some low-hanging fruit for studying tactics.

   12. YUYusef15:04

       (clears throat)

   13. CWChris Williamson15:04

       So I think the one thing that I ha- Like, you can't o- completely write off your entire first year-

   14. YUYusef15:10

       Mm.

   15. CWChris Williamson15:10

       ... as it being a waste, but-

   16. YUYusef15:13

       (coughs)

   17. CWChris Williamson15:13

       ... one of the things that you should do is begin to grease the groove of at least r- understanding how to study effectively.

   18. YUYusef15:21

       So, yeah. I'll, I've got it. So I've, I've split my notes up into this, different sections, so before we move on to study, just the final thing on, um, Freshers' Week and this desperation for approval and people latching onto each other is an example that I saw of a guy, second time round with my Freshers' Week, second degree, who was, he was 18, he was called, um, I'm not gonna say his name actually, but... (laughs)

   19. CWChris Williamson15:45

       (laughs)

   20. JOJonny15:45

       (laughs)

   21. YUYusef15:45

       Um, but he-

   22. JOJonny15:46

       His national insurance number. Don't worry.

   23. YUYusef15:47

       (laughs) But he was a Muslim guy and he was drinking and I was chatting to him about his Muslim family. I was like, "Do your family know that you drink?" "Oh, no, no, it's, that's actually the f- first time." Like, "Oh, how come you're drinking?" And he's like, "Oh, just, you know, it was Freshers' Week and I, I have to 'cause of the pressure." I'm like, "Do you even like it?" He was like, "No." I'm like, "Well, don't just, like, completely compromise on who you are for the sake of approval."

   24. JOJonny16:07

       Yeah.

   25. YUYusef16:07

       "Don't just, like, do this because you think that's what you're supposed to do." And I was like, "Look..." I, I, I took it out of his hand and I was like, "Just be you. Don't, don't try and..." 'Cause this is a slippery slope. This is the time when, if you make that one compromise now, that's it. Like...

   26. CWChris Williamson16:23

       There's numerous ones that are gonna then-

   27. YUYusef16:24

       You've set yourself-

   28. JOJonny16:24

       It's a good point, and people are, are doing that, Muslim or not, in, i- in loads of ways, in Freshers' Week.

   29. YUYusef16:31

       I was like, if you like it-

   30. JOJonny16:32

       Yeah.
6. 17:08 – 21:00

   Study like an adult: treat uni like a job and use active recall

   1. YUYusef17:08

      Studying. So... with studying, the, the best way to go about this is not to think, "Oh, I don't need to go to lectures. No one's checking up on me here. This is great. I can, wahey! I can just, like, do, start working a week before the exam." Just, if you really want a good degree, like, if you're there to get a degree and to get a good grade, treat it like a day job. You're the one that's the master of your own time then, and I guarantee, if you treat it like that, there is no way you'll get anything less than a first if you just treat it as like a nine-to-five during the day, same way as when you, with you, when you were doing A levels, you didn't, you couldn't go home during the day. You just turned up, did the work, came home, maybe did a bit of homework, but you don't even need to do that. Set yourself a really hard rule of no Xbox during the day, no nonsense before 4:00 PM. Doesn't even have to be a full nine-till-five. And once you've done that, your evenings are fully free, there's no guilt, you a- the fun stuff tends to happen in the evenings anyway.And then you're a free agent.

   2. CWChris Williamson18:12

      Is this in fresh- is this in first year?

   3. YUYusef18:15

      First year, like, it depends how scared you are of failing. Like, I think as- as you said, Chris, like, people are often ... You get two types of people, the neurotic ones that are too afraid of failing and ironically, they're the ones that need to pull back a bit-

   4. CWChris Williamson18:28

      Mm-hmm.

   5. YUYusef18:28

      ... and then the ones who think like, "Oh, I'll be fine," they're the ones that fail, so you- you almost have to look at your own track record and say, have a bit of self-awareness to say, "Am I someone who is legitimately at risk of failing or-"

   6. CWChris Williamson18:39

      Mm-hmm.

   7. YUYusef18:40

      "... am I just too concerned-"

   8. CWChris Williamson18:40

      Very difficult at a young age to work out that sort of thing though, isn't it?

   9. YUYusef18:42

      'Cause Cambridge suicides are the high ... Like, the people who commit suicide at Cambridge are the highest performers because they're the ones that have the most neurotic fear that they're going to fail or that they're-

   10. CWChris Williamson18:52

       That's crazy.

   11. YUYusef18:52

       ... not living up to their ...

   12. CWChris Williamson18:53

       That's a, that's a terrifying statistic.

   13. YUYusef18:55

       (clears throat) It is.

   14. CWChris Williamson18:55

       I think, I think what- what I would say is I had (papers rustling) a very well-established, uh, revision, um, ritual, which was (objects thudding) I'd eidetically learn everything on a page. So I'd write out my notes for the exam. I would summarize the entire module, write out notes for the exam, and then just learn it verbatim. So I could then, I wouldn't, I could even remember when-

   15. YUYusef19:18

       (laughs)

   16. CWChris Williamson19:18

       ... looking on the page, oh, there's that top left-hand, okay, so I'm learning about something to do with the counting. Okay, what are the four principles of accounting?

   17. YUYusef19:24

       So you have, like, a summary page and then you- you just reprinted it?

   18. CWChris Williamson19:25

       I would have summary eight pages-

   19. YUYusef19:27

       Mm-hmm.

   20. CWChris Williamson19:27

       ... and I would learn them verbatim, like allow myself to read until a bit, read a new bit, close the page, try and remember it. If I could remember it, go back, learn another bit and just compound it on top.

   21. YUYusef19:38

       That's what the guy in Your Learning podcast said, isn't it? That-

   22. CWChris Williamson19:40

       Learning to learn. But he- he does, but he talks about, he doesn't talk about doing it as verbatim because what the problem I came across from doing that was that I had a glass ceiling and box and sides on- Mm-hmm. ... everything I knew 'cause if it was more pe-

   23. YUYusef19:51

       If it wasn't on your notes, then it's not (laughs) -

   24. CWChris Williamson19:53

       If not, well, I would... I'm fucked because interpretively, I had nothing, but for courses like business, accounting, like, there's no creativity required.

   25. YUYusef20:02

       Mm-hmm.

   26. CWChris Williamson20:02

       You don't need to be creative with your answers.

   27. YUYusef20:03

       So I think that strategy works extremely well when there is a finite curriculum and it's like, if you learn that stuff (papers rustling) in these summary notes, you've got enough to pass the...

   28. CWChris Williamson20:12

       If you're doing philosophy or classics.

   29. YUYusef20:14

       Then you- then you need to read, like, and those- those degrees are ... That's why they say, like, "What are you reading?" You know, it's like at university it's like the, you do have ... there's no way around that, but you end up with a lot more depth of knowledge as a result and you can interpret and... So yeah, the- the guy, the main thing that jumped out at me-

   30. CWChris Williamson20:30

       Peter Brown.
7. 21:00 – 25:07

   Beat procrastination with systems: Parkinson’s Law, deadlines, and daily minimums

   1. JOJonny21:00

      I have, I have one tip for studying.

   2. CWChris Williamson21:02

      Hit me.

   3. JOJonny21:02

      So something that I wish I had done. So I feel like uni is the biggest example of Parkinson's Law for most people. So it depends on the type of degree you do, but, like-

   4. CWChris Williamson21:10

      Can you explain Parkinson's Law, please?

   5. JOJonny21:12

      So you take as long to complete something as you allocate to that task. So as you say, you have got-

   6. CWChris Williamson21:19

      Oh.

   7. YUYusef21:19

      It's the epitome of uni, isn't it? (laughs)

   8. JOJonny21:20

      It is. It is. So, like, you come out of school where you're given day structures, lessons, homework. Your... Basically, a- a map between starting point and end point is- is built for you.

   9. CWChris Williamson21:29

      With the little-

   10. JOJonny21:31

       The little checkpoints along the way-

   11. CWChris Williamson21:32

       ... checkpoints along the way.

   12. JOJonny21:32

       You're dropped into uni and someone says, "Right, here you are for three or four years. You have to get a degree at the end of it."

   13. YUYusef21:37

       You don't even need to turn up, to see- (laughs)

   14. JOJonny21:38

       You don't even need to turn up. Like, if you don't turn up, they'll send you the- they'll send you the odd, like, stiff slap on the wrist?

   15. NANarrator21:42

       ... cigarette email, but that- that's it.

   16. YUYusef21:44

       (laughs)

   17. JOJonny21:44

       So mo- what I did certainly in certainly first and second year was you'd wait until ... I- I waited until, like, three weeks before the exams and then you're like, "Oh my God, there's all these lectures to go through."

   18. CWChris Williamson21:55

       Mm-hmm.

   19. JOJonny21:56

       If I had done 30 minutes of work a day the entire time I was there-

   20. CWChris Williamson22:00

       (paper rustling) Mm-hmm.

   21. JOJonny22:01

       ... and kept on top of, (papers rustling) like, "Lecture today, like, what were the key points? Can I understand them?"

   22. YUYusef22:06

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JOJonny22:06

       "Can I explain them?" Forget about it.

   24. CWChris Williamson22:08

       Love it.

   25. JOJonny22:08

       Live the rest of my life.

   26. YUYusef22:09

       So-

   27. CWChris Williamson22:09

       How many people that have- that have been to university that are listening now or at university now or even that have done A levels or GCSEs left their revision until the night before?

   28. JOJonny22:17

       Yeah.

   29. CWChris Williamson22:17

       That's me all over.

   30. YUYusef22:18

       Yes. Yeah.
8. 25:07 – 37:52

   Never lose your work: backups, Evernote/Drive organization, and filing discipline

   1. CWChris Williamson25:07

      That means you're going to avoid printer problems, you're going to avoid file losses. Ooh, we should do, um-

   2. YUYusef25:12

      Oh, yeah. (laughs)

   3. CWChris Williamson25:13

      How do you, how do you work in a manner that means that your files never get lost? Mm.

   4. YUYusef25:17

      So the, I mean, I've had an assignment that I've kind of really internalized that lesson. I had an assignment that I had to hand in, um-

   5. CWChris Williamson25:25

      (laughs)

   6. YUYusef25:25

      ... it's due for mid-October. I handed it in two weeks ago.

   7. CWChris Williamson25:29

      So that's, what-

   8. YUYusef25:29

      So that's-

   9. CWChris Williamson25:29

      ... mid, mid-September?

   10. YUYusef25:31

       So that's a month, a month early 'cause I was like, "I just don't want it on my head." I don't, the d- the deadline is irrelevant. Like, it has to be done by that point. Okay, I'm not going to fit my life around the deadline. I'm just going to do it when I have capacity and get it done.

   11. CWChris Williamson25:42

       Mm-hmm.

   12. YUYusef25:43

       But we seem to think that the deadline becomes like the, the point of focus and then our life has to then mold around it, which is a terrible way to work.

   13. CWChris Williamson25:51

       Mm-hmm.

   14. YUYusef25:52

       The, the Parkinson's law thing as well about doing 30 minutes a day for any degree is so valuable, but there are certain degrees that the stack of work is not possible to backload. And so-

   15. CWChris Williamson26:03

       If you're doing medicine.

   16. YUYusef26:04

       So medicine is one of them, and I've, I, I've experienced two degrees. I did maths and business, which I know is not, like, a hardcore degree, but the, the first term of the first year of medicine was harder than the entire four years of-

   17. CWChris Williamson26:17

       (laughs)

   18. YUYusef26:17

       ... um, my maths and business degree in terms of, like, total workload, total cognitive load, everything like that.

   19. CWChris Williamson26:22

       Wow.

   20. YUYusef26:23

       And so the, what they say about studying medicine is like eating ten pancakes a day. Like, it's fine to eat ten pancakes a day, but if you miss a day-

   21. CWChris Williamson26:33

       (laughs)

   22. YUYusef26:33

       ... you've got 20 pancakes to eat that day. And if you miss that day, then you've got 30.

   23. CWChris Williamson26:37

       (laughs)

   24. YUYusef26:38

       And it very quickly becomes a real-

   25. CWChris Williamson26:39

       An insurmountable amount of pancakes.

   26. YUYusef26:41

       Yeah.

   27. CWChris Williamson26:41

       You should give him-

   28. NANarrator26:43

       What is the most amount?

   29. YUYusef26:43

       (laughs) What's the-

   30. NANarrator26:44

       The most ma- How big are the pancakes? Are they little buttermilk pancakes?
9. 37:52 – 48:15

   Relationships at uni: don’t cling to safety (and be ruthless about ending bad ones)

   1. CWChris Williamson37:52

      Cool. So relationships. Johnny, you said that you had some comments on relationships at university.

   2. JOJonny37:57

      So I, um, (laughs) I broke up with my girlfriend just before I went to university.

   3. CWChris Williamson38:05

      Okay.

   4. JOJonny38:06

      Um-

   5. CWChris Williamson38:06

      Because you were going to university?

   6. JOJonny38:07

      Yeah. Because I ha- (laughs) I remem-

   7. YUYusef38:09

      Same. (laughs)

   8. JOJonny38:09

      ... I remember thinking, like, "I can't possibly go to university with a girlfriend."

   9. YUYusef38:14

      (laughs) .

   10. JOJonny38:15

       Which is-

   11. CWChris Williamson38:15

       Why?

   12. JOJonny38:16

       I don't know, but ... so when I got to uni, like, a few people that, that I was living with had a relationship-

   13. CWChris Williamson38:21

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JOJonny38:21

       ... who they were still in. I remember thinking, like, "What are you doing?" It's like someone arrives, like, having not enrolled on their course, going, "What the fuck are you doing?"

   15. CWChris Williamson38:27

       Yeah, exactly.

   16. JOJonny38:28

       Um, but best decision I ever made, I think.

   17. CWChris Williamson38:32

       How long did the relationships of the people who you lived with last for?

   18. JOJonny38:35

       Not long at all. It was like the Battle of the Somme, honestly. It was just ... I remember just-

   19. CWChris Williamson38:39

       People getting shot down, left, right and center.

   20. JOJonny38:41

       It was just, like, things, like, you just watch people cheat on each other and it was just ...

   21. YUYusef38:45

       Oh, yeah. There was a lot o- and especially the people who were in the long-distance relationships, they were like, "No, no, no."

   22. JOJonny38:49

       They, they were all long-distance only.

   23. YUYusef38:50

       "We're really, we're, we're really for the long term, man."

   24. JOJonny38:53

       Yeah.

   25. YUYusef38:53

       Like, then a week later you see them just in an orgy with-

   26. JOJonny38:57

       I think ... (laughs)

   27. YUYusef38:58

       (laughs) Did you? Did you see ?

   28. JOJonny38:59

       Everyone's got a dick in their mouth.

   29. YUYusef39:01

       It's terrible. (laughs)

   30. JOJonny39:02

       (laughs) So it, it's what you were saying, Chris, about, like, you go to uni thinking, "I'm 18, man. Like, I know what's going on. I know what I want. I know what my values are." You haven't got a clue. So, like, hampering that first year of your life at university when you're going to meet probably the most concentration of new people who have all these, like, weird, intense experiences with people. Even, like, "Mate, that's my pan."
10. 48:15 – 54:32

    Sex, safety, and performance anxiety: condoms, STI risk, and ‘it’s normal’

    1. YUYusef48:15

       Wear a condom, for heaven's sake.

    2. JOJonny48:16

       (laughs)

    3. CWChris Williamson48:16

       That's, I mean, that's, that's my point.

    4. YUYusef48:18

       Oh, okay.

    5. CWChris Williamson48:18

       My point is-

    6. JOJonny48:19

       Yeah.

    7. CWChris Williamson48:19

       ... for the love of God, wear a prophylactic.

    8. YUYusef48:21

       We-

    9. CWChris Williamson48:21

       Because-

    10. YUYusef48:22

        (laughs) "Wear a prophylaptic."

    11. JOJonny48:23

        (laughs)

    12. CWChris Williamson48:23

        ... the easiest way to do it is...... buy them at the start of a year. Buy a big box, like a 30 box of Durex.

    13. JOJonny48:32

        Yeah, stick with the brands.

    14. CWChris Williamson48:33

        Keep one in your wallet.

    15. JOJonny48:35

        That's good.

    16. CWChris Williamson48:35

        That's all. Keep a ... so have a buffer level of them and keep one in your wallet at all times.

    17. YUYusef48:39

        Get them for free. For-

    18. JOJonny48:40

        So I've heard keeping it in your wallet can cause-

    19. YUYusef48:42

        Aberration.

    20. JOJonny48:43

        Yeah.

    21. YUYusef48:44

        Uh-

    22. JOJonny48:44

        If you sit on your wallet, 'cause I put my wallet in my back pocket.

    23. CWChris Williamson48:46

        Right, okay. But-

    24. JOJonny48:46

        Just a matter of time-

    25. CWChris Williamson48:46

        I would rather have an e-

    26. YUYusef48:47

        It's a minor point.

    27. CWChris Williamson48:48

        I would rather have an abrased condom than no condom at all.

    28. JOJonny48:51

        I mean, there's an argument to say birth rates are dropping in the UK.

    29. YUYusef48:54

        No.

    30. CWChris Williamson48:54

        (laughs)
11. 54:32 – 58:14

    Friendship strategy and tribe dynamics: widen the net, then narrow it

    1. CWChris Williamson54:32

       ... relationships, relationships on that one there. What about, um, what about making friends and stuff like that? So I've suggested my, my main one is join an events company. If you're, if you like to go out and you like to party and stuff like that, I think it's a fantastic way. Sports teams, societies.

    2. YUYusef54:49

       I've got no tips on this. I haven't got any friends, so I don't, um-

    3. CWChris Williamson54:52

       You've got us two.

    4. YUYusef54:53

       ... I'm not going to want to.

    5. CWChris Williamson54:53

       But we, we-

    6. YUYusef54:53

       Yeah, I'll be your friend. But I pay you two to, to-

    7. CWChris Williamson54:56

       Yeah, it was a donation service was that.

    8. YUYusef54:57

       We know, you don't have to mention that, you didn't have to say that. We'll cut that out. (laughs)

    9. JOJonny55:01

       No.

    10. CWChris Williamson55:01

        Johnny, you did like rowing and stuff, right?

    11. JOJonny55:03

        I did, interestingly. So there, there were two types of people that I encountered at uni, people who were obsessed about being on, like, the rugby or the rowing socials and, and all that sort of stuff, and people who very much just kind of, like, kept themselves to themselves. I was really good friends with some of the people, funnily enough, in my flat where I was, like, in, wh- where I was a fresher. And they were the people who I ended up being really frien- really friendly with. And I'm still in touch with all of them now, 10 years later.

    12. CWChris Williamson55:34

        Mm-hmm.

    13. JOJonny55:35

        Um, one of them has just, another wedding, just got engaged, asked me to be his best man.

    14. CWChris Williamson55:41

        Really?

    15. JOJonny55:42

        Yeah.

    16. YUYusef55:42

        Oh.

    17. JOJonny55:42

        So-

    18. CWChris Williamson55:43

        That's crazy. So-

    19. JOJonny55:44

        So, so, so, the, the point with that is, again, like as I just view everything in my life, like, what, what are we trying to get out of this, like, what's the, what's the goal here? Like being-

    20. CWChris Williamson55:53

        Be the best man.

    21. JOJonny55:54

        Do you want... Well, yeah, I mean, bingo, done it, completed it. Do you want to leave uni with loads of, like, low-level acquaintances that you never speak to after graduation, or would it be nice to have, like, a couple of friends that you, that you speak to for the rest of your life? And so I think there are a lot of people who paid a lot of very diffuse attention to a large group of people because they felt like that gave them popularity and, and status.

    22. YUYusef56:17

        Ah.

    23. CWChris Williamson56:17

        Mm-hmm, yeah.

    24. YUYusef56:17

        That's, that's a good point, so I guess it depends on the timeline as well, like you-

    25. CWChris Williamson56:20

        Mm-hmm.

    26. YUYusef56:20

        It's like if you see your university degree three years as a funnel. You don't have to, um, narrow it down in year one. You can spread your net wide, feel out loads of different types of people.

    27. CWChris Williamson56:32

        Mm-hmm.

    28. YUYusef56:33

        Not literally but-

    29. JOJonny56:33

        Yeah, don't touch them.

    30. YUYusef56:34

        Um, yeah, do not touch them, but just f- f- feel them all out and then be like, "Actually, this group who I thought I was mates with was just because of the primacy effect."
12. 58:14 – 1:09:56

    Housing and real-life admin: choosing housemates, cleaning, deposits, and documentation

    1. CWChris Williamson58:14

       Portfolio. Um, I think another good point is do not choose the flatmates you're going to live with in second year or third year in October.

    2. YUYusef58:24

       Oh.

    3. JOJonny58:25

       Yeah.

    4. CWChris Williamson58:25

       And I see this happen all the time.

    5. YUYusef58:27

       (laughs)

    6. CWChris Williamson58:28

       Like, the number of people, b- and this is a-

    7. YUYusef58:30

       The second year flat is always the rockiest, doesn't it because-

    8. CWChris Williamson58:32

       Yeah, it's, yeah, you've just made the dec- a rash decision early on. And one of the problems is that because good student accommodation, good private student accommodation is becoming more and more, uh, competitive now, that it's common for a lot of the good flats, well-priced flats, to go by November, December time. And you're like, "Okay." Like, there definitely is a spectrum between wanting to go early enough to still have a good choice of houses but late enough to be able to make a good choice of flatmates.

    9. YUYusef59:03

       Mm-hmm.

    10. CWChris Williamson59:03

        But I can tell you a fine fact, you would much sooner live in a shit house with good housemates than a good house with assholes.

    11. JOJonny59:10

        Yeah.

    12. CWChris Williamson59:11

        So-

    13. JOJonny59:11

        'Cause that always matters.

    14. CWChris Williamson59:12

        ... I would tend towards the latter.

    15. YUYusef59:14

        Mm-hmm.

    16. CWChris Williamson59:15

        Like, you don't need to make the decision before Christmas. Like, if you ha- unless you're absolutely certain and you get on, like, a house on fire with these people and you know all of them. Another one as well-

    17. YUYusef59:25

        There's very few towns that finding a flat is so competitive that you have to do it before December goes by.

    18. JOJonny59:29

        (laughs)

    19. CWChris Williamson59:29

        Well, you'd be surprised man. Newcastle, Newcastle is.

    20. YUYusef59:31

        Really?

    21. CWChris Williamson59:31

        Newcastle is one of those... For the really nice ones and then you're talking value as well.

    22. YUYusef59:35

        For the city center, yeah.

    23. CWChris Williamson59:35

        Right.

    24. YUYusef59:35

        But I'd imagine, like, you're not, you're not totally... Like, you, you will find somewhere to live that is acceptable if you-

    25. CWChris Williamson59:40

        Yeah.

    26. YUYusef59:40

        ... start searching in March or whatever, you know. It's not like you-

    27. CWChris Williamson59:44

        Another thing to consider, I would refrain from living in a house with any more than max five people.

    28. YUYusef59:50

        Mm-hmm.

    29. CWChris Williamson59:50

        Ideally four.

    30. JOJonny59:51

        Yeah, I agree.

Episode duration: 1:37:17