Self Confidence

Jonny & Yusef from PropaneFitness.com join me this week as we delve into the world of confidence. Expect to learn whether confidence is an innate talent or a skill that can be learned, what principles we have implemented to improve our confidence, what the term "self conscious" truly means, and why Jonny has been bullied into growing a top knot. - Listen to all episodes online. Search "Modern Wisdom" on any Podcast App or click here: iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/modern-wisdom/id1347973549 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0XrOqvxlqQI6bmdYHuIVnr?si=iUpczE97SJqe1kNdYBipnw Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/modern-wisdom - I want to hear from you!! Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Email: modernwisdompodcast@gmail.com

Chris WilliamsonhostYusef (Propane Fitness)guestJonny (Propane Fitness)guest

Jun 8, 20181h 43mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,004 words

0:00 – 15:00
Um, the depth of…
1. CWChris Williamson
  Um, the depth of aluminum. Thickness. Yes.
2. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Okay. (laughs)
3. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs)
4. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  I'm such a pedant when I'm talking to Chris.
5. CWChris Williamson
  You are. (laughs) But I like it, you're holding me to-
6. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Now, Chris, you've said that sentence, but what do you actually mean?
7. CWChris Williamson
  'Cause he said the other day that someone was the pariah of- And I meant pa- I meant paragon. Yeah.
8. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
9. CWChris Williamson
  I'm gonna use paragon, paragon as well.
10. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
11. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs) You pulled me up about it, there wasn't even anyone else here. The thing is, he's brutal. Like, I'll, I'll write a piece of content and he goes through and there'll be one typo and he's like... He spots it straight away.
12. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Batter again. Throw it out. (laughs)
13. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs) I sent a, I sent an article for Muslim Fitness off to a couple friends.
14. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Muslim Fitness? (laughs)
15. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
16. CWChris Williamson
  Muslim Fitness did you just call it? Yeah. That's what it's called, isn't it?
17. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Muslim Fitness.
18. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs) Oh, Muslim Fitness. Muslim Fitness. (laughs) Is there actually a-
19. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  I bet there is.
20. CWChris Williamson
  This tastes different to the other day. Same one. Weird. Tastes like pear. It's not pear.
21. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  It hardly really is pear.
22. CWChris Williamson
  I mean, it says on the front. Apple. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
23. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  The pear one's lovely.
24. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, very caffeinated though. Heavily caffeinated. Yeah. That's the thing, you, you are at risk because of your severe- (laughs) ... and chronic- I feel like I'm trying to dock a spaceship-
25. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
26. CWChris Williamson
  ... with it. Let's not, 'cause we talked about docking last time and it, it went on for ages.
27. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Oh, yeah.
28. CWChris Williamson
  Um-
29. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Love docking.
30. CWChris Williamson
  ... so we've got a choice of what we're gonna talk about today. I think confidence. No, hold on. What were you, what were you saying? Chris said pariah. Oh, is, oh, is that the end of it? I meant paragon.
15:00 – 30:00
... You're very good…
1. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
2. CWChris Williamson
  ... You're very good at that. Very good.
3. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  At (laughs) embracing silliness?
4. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
5. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  So, uh, I think that he was saying, like, y- we all, as soon as we recognize that and we stop holding ourselves to the standards of our strengths-
6. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
7. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... and we realize that if you, if you're in a foreign country and you ask someone for directions thinking that you're gonna get shot down because they'll be like, "Oh, what a prick, the silly tourist."
8. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
9. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  And you just accept that that's the case anyway, then it's a pleasant surprise if you don't, it's a, it's quite stoic, which kind of makes sense. But I, I think if you focus your attention way too much on how silly and crap you are, as Brits, we're already very good at that I think.
10. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
11. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  And so the tendency then is to become so self-deprecating-
12. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
13. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... that it almost becomes a, a reality or a truth. And we know that the, you know, uh, and to try and say this in the least esoteric terms of like, "What you focus on becomes your reality, man."
14. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs)
15. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  But like the, the reticular activating system in your brain will seek patterns in the sense that even if you listening right now, if you look around in your room for anything red, suddenly your brain tunes into all red items and tunes out everything else. And if you close your eyes and then say, "Right, tell me what things in your room were blue," you've tuned out them and you didn't notice them.
16. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
17. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Because they'd already, you were focusing on something else.
18. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
19. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  And so, I think-
20. CWChris Williamson
  Is this like the, it's like think of something you're grateful for argument? You know, like (laughs) you know, like, the gratitude journal is if you are focusing on being grateful, then you can't be anxious or ...
21. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  I definitely feel there's sort of ...
22. CWChris Williamson
  ... You know, there's ...
23. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... a frame.
24. CWChris Williamson
  I'm aware this is a little bit of a departure, but the, um, doing a gratitude journal is, I've only done it for the first time this year. And the only way I've been able to do it is by buying one that only requires three minutes on a morning and three minutes at night. Of-
25. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  You bought the palm off of the five-minute journal, didn't you?
26. CWChris Williamson
  I did. It's called the six-minute diary.
27. NANarrator
  (laughs)
28. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
29. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  It's unbelievable, isn't it?
30. CWChris Williamson
  Absolutely. How, how someone hasn't gone cease and desist letter, like, express overnight mail. It's the five minute, five-minute journals-
30:00 – 45:00
Oh, yeah. (laughs) …
1. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  confident that it wouldn't go off and s-
2. CWChris Williamson
  Oh, yeah. (laughs)
3. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Um, can you go turn it off, please?
4. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  I'm confident that I can't.
5. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs) So do you think that, given what you said before about being able to put yourself up, out on the, out on the rail, I suppose-
6. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
7. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... is seeking advice from other people... where, where does that fit in?
8. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Can we, can we just stay on the truth thing for a sec, or do you wanna come back to the truth thing?
9. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  No, no, go for it.
10. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  So I know you don't like him.... but Garrett J. White.
11. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs)
12. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs) His fundamental number one principle is-
13. CWChris Williamson
  Very briefly, tell us who Garrett J. White is.
14. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  He's a, he runs a, like a program that is pretty much geared at helping men who are successful in other areas of their life become four-dimensional-
15. CWChris Williamson
  Okay.
16. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  ... as he calls it. So-
17. CWChris Williamson
  Sorry.
18. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  ... people who put-
19. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Overweight businessmen who are divorced or failing marriages-
20. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Mm-hmm.
21. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... but are very rich, but maybe haven't got the other dimensions of their life.
22. CWChris Williamson
  Okay.
23. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Yeah. So-
24. CWChris Williamson
  So what does he say about ...
25. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  So his, his core starting point is to stop lying and to start telling the truth about, like, the way that you feel, what you want, what's going on.
26. CWChris Williamson
  Why?
27. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  He feels that people experience a, an unpleasant reality and sedate away from what's actually happening.
28. CWChris Williamson
  100%.
29. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  So rather than, like, "Okay, I'm fat. My marriage is shit. I hate my kids. My job's just this place I go to, to numb out. I take loads of drugs. I get drunk on the weekend." It's like just avoiding the pain rather than stepping into the ring.
30. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  I was gonna say, that's a very American thing to go, "How are you, sir?" "Oh, fantastic."
45:00 – 1:00:00
Mm-hmm. …
1. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  of approval, control and safety, give rise to ... So they're like the trunks of the tree, which is the analogy they use, give rise to the emotions which stem from wanting approval, control, or safety, and if those things are challenged, and then they create, they provide the soil for the thoughts to come out.
2. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
3. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  I'm mixing analogies, but dr- basically tree trunk, desires, tree branches, emotions, leaves are thoughts.
4. CWChris Williamson
  Okay.
5. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  And so, for example, I used to be very nervous on camera because Johnny and I started Propain Fitness as a written blog, and we were just writing articles, and then suddenly we were like, "Oh, actually-"
6. CWChris Williamson
  Safe behind a screen, right?
7. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Safe behind a screen. We were just keyboard warriors that didn't lift and we were, you know ... (laughs) Um, but then we, we were like, okay, you know, the first step is you put up a topless photo online. It's a little bit scary, especially when people are looking at it in the office and so on.
8. CWChris Williamson
  Mm.
9. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Then it was like, right, we need to do podcasts and videos. First time I did a video, I remember being petrified, had to re-record 25 times, and any little stumble I'd be like, "Oh, no, I'm gonna edit it out and stuff, or re-record."
10. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
11. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  And over time, I think just from a purely evolutionary or physiological basis that you, you apply repeated scary stimuli, you become less-
12. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs)
13. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... um, sensitive to them.
14. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
15. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  And now, there's no fear to doing video, you know-
16. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
17. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... th- of, things like a live video where you see the, the little green light and you're like-
18. CWChris Williamson
  Bing!
19. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  ... "Right, 15,000 people, you're on. If you fuck up, like, that's it, you just have to roll with it."
20. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm, yeah.
21. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Um, and I remember that being really scary. But what's happened is, on a neurochemical basis, you are less reactive to that scary stimulus, and then as a result, your mind starts then justifying more positive thought patterns which are, "You know what? It doesn't matter. It's natural. Everyone messes up, everyone stumbles over things," or whatever it is that your, your mi- ... So it's not that you changed your thoughts and therefore you became less fearful.
22. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
23. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  It's that you changed the feeling, and then your thoughts about the subject changed as a result.
24. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
25. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  It's all right, though.
26. CWChris Williamson
  It's a lovely, lovely, lovely concept.
27. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  I remember ... I remember feeling like you were saying first few videos, like, "Oh my god, what if this goes wrong?"
28. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
29. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  And now if something goes wrong, my first thought usually is like, if anyone takes the piss, like, "You do-"
30. CWChris Williamson
  Good. (laughs)
1:00:00 – 1:09:14
Especially with the internet,…
1. CWChris Williamson
  Why We're Fated to be Lonely, which is a, a YouTube video done by Alain de Botton from School of Life. And as a part of that, one of the things he says is that the more subtle and, uh, the more subtle and, um, unique, like the more subtle and mindful your views are, the fewer people are going to be like you in society. And given the choice between honesty and acceptability- Mm. ... most of us understandably choose the latter. But again with that, if you have this multifaceted, slightly contrary, slightly subtle different worldview, presuming that it's not going to offend anyone or get you in jail, might be an idea to try and speak it forth because it'll open up some other people's eyes. And we hav-
2. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Especially with the internet, you will find people that resonate with you, 100%.
3. CWChris Williamson
  Oh, 100%, across time.
4. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  You can't find people who love you.
5. YFYusef (Propane Fitness)
  Mm.
6. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  People who hate you and people who love you.
7. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, it polarizes opinion.
8. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Mm-hmm.
9. CWChris Williamson
  Um, one of the things we haven't really touched on yet, I don't think at all in this, I think the podcast we star- I started doing Modern Wisdom-... post, in the post-JBP world.
10. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Mm-hmm.
11. CWChris Williamson
  So Jordan Peterson, who has been a guiding force for me in understanding, um, myself, and I think you guys to a degree as well, one of the key, um, (laughs) , one of the key habits that he asks people to cultivate is to clean up their room. And what he says is that-
12. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  "Oh, bloody hell, clean your room." I mean, people think these, these kids, they're, they're 18 and, and they, they want to go out and change the world and they've got dirty socks in their room.
13. CWChris Williamson
  (laughs)
14. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  How can you opine about the economic state of the world when you can't even clean your room? I mean-
15. CWChris Williamson
  So what he says is, what he says is that, um, your bedroom is y- a domain of competence within everybody's capacity, so-
16. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Mm.
17. CWChris Williamson
  ... everyone can clean their room. Like, unless you're one of the people, those people out of, like, Hoarders, like, you can clean your room.
18. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  You could have a disability.
19. CWChris Williamson
  Okay.
20. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
21. CWChris Williamson
  Thanks.
22. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
23. CWChris Williamson
  That's just made me feel really-
24. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs) In the same ...
25. CWChris Williamson
  There's never a way to shame confidence.
26. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs)
27. CWChris Williamson
  Um, most people, a large majority of people, can clean their room and might-
28. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  Might be blind.
29. CWChris Williamson
  Thanks, Johnny.
30. JFJonny (Propane Fitness)
  (laughs) .

Episode duration: 1:43:53

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Um, the depth of…

... You're very good…

Oh, yeah. (laughs) …

Mm-hmm. …

Especially with the internet,…

Get more out of YouTube videos.