Why Children of Divorce Grow into Broken Adults - Erica Komisar

Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author. Why do we assume kids will be okay after divorce? As separation becomes more common, the long-term impact on a child’s development is often overlooked. So what actually happens, and can divorce ever be done without damage? Expect to learn what most adults misunderstand about how deeply divorce affects kids, why constant parental conflict causes damage to children so deeply and what it does to a child’s stress system and brain development, why 50-50 custody might be a terrible idea for children, what the long-term psychological consequences are from a neglectful parent and much more… - Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom - 0:00 Why is Erica’s Work So Controversial? 1:22 The Hidden Impacts of Divorce on Children 4:19 How Stress Reshapes a Child’s Brain 11:05 Is a Friendly Divorce Still Damaging? 14:22 Is 50/50 Custody Always the Right Choice? 22:13 Should Fathers Take a Step Back After Divorce? 26:18 Is There Ever a Right Time to Divorce? 30:52 How Divorce Shapes a Child’s Future 33:04 Boys vs Girls: Who Does Divorce Hit Harder? 34:57 Is Separation During Pregnancy Dangerous? 42:02 Why Children Blame Themselves for Divorce 50:47 Divorce Feels Like Grief For Children 52:25 When Should You Tell the Kids? 54:26 The Worst Ways to Explain Divorce to Children 59:27 Why Promises Can Backfire 01:01:19 What Makes a Divorce “Good” or “Bad”? 01:05:22 Why Stability Matters More Than You Think 01:08:31 How Much Time Should Each Parent Get? 01:14:15 Why Babies' Needs Must Come First 01:19:06 How Parents Can Stay Emotionally Steady 01:21:36 What Secure Attachment Really Looks Like 01:27:58 How the Feminist Movement Left Children Behind 01:35:09 Is Daycare the Worst Place For Children? 01:38:21 We Can’t Ignore Early Attachment 01:40:13 Are Attachment Styles Inherited? 01:41:17 Are Babies Born Aggressive? 01:49:54 How Children Cope With Absence 01:53:25 The Hard Truth About Sacrifice in Parenting 01:59:34 The Toughest Realisations For Modern Mothers 02:09:16 Why Trust is the Foundation of Parenting 02:13:17 The Hidden Challenges of Female Breadwinners 02:23:26 Why Emotional Presence Matters Just as Much as Physical 02:29:33 Where to Find Erica - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostErica Komisarguest

Apr 6, 20262h 30mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: April 6, 2026
Duration: 2h 30m
Channel: Modern Wisdom
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author. Why do we assume kids will be okay after divorce? As separation becomes more common, the long-term impact on a child’s development is often overlooked. So what actually happens, and can divorce ever be done without damage? Expect to learn what most adults misunderstand about how deeply divorce affects kids, why constant parental conflict causes damage to children so deeply and what it does to a child’s stress system and brain development, why 50-50 custody might be a terrible idea for children, what the long-term psychological consequences are from a neglectful parent and much more… - Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom - 0:00 Why is Erica’s Work So Controversial? 1:22 The Hidden Impacts of Divorce on Children 4:19 How Stress Reshapes a Child’s Brain 11:05 Is a Friendly Divorce Still Damaging? 14:22 Is 50/50 Custody Always the Right Choice? 22:13 Should Fathers Take a Step Back After Divorce? 26:18 Is There Ever a Right Time to Divorce? 30:52 How Divorce Shapes a Child’s Future 33:04 Boys vs Girls: Who Does Divorce Hit Harder? 34:57 Is Separation During Pregnancy Dangerous? 42:02 Why Children Blame Themselves for Divorce 50:47 Divorce Feels Like Grief For Children 52:25 When Should You Tell the Kids? 54:26 The Worst Ways to Explain Divorce to Children 59:27 Why Promises Can Backfire 01:01:19 What Makes a Divorce “Good” or “Bad”? 01:05:22 Why Stability Matters More Than You Think 01:08:31 How Much Time Should Each Parent Get? 01:14:15 Why Babies' Needs Must Come First 01:19:06 How Parents Can Stay Emotionally Steady 01:21:36 What Secure Attachment Really Looks Like 01:27:58 How the Feminist Movement Left Children Behind 01:35:09 Is Daycare the Worst Place For Children? 01:38:21 We Can’t Ignore Early Attachment 01:40:13 Are Attachment Styles Inherited? 01:41:17 Are Babies Born Aggressive? 01:49:54 How Children Cope With Absence 01:53:25 The Hard Truth About Sacrifice in Parenting 01:59:34 The Toughest Realisations For Modern Mothers 02:09:16 Why Trust is the Foundation of Parenting 02:13:17 The Hidden Challenges of Female Breadwinners 02:23:26 Why Emotional Presence Matters Just as Much as Physical 02:29:33 Where to Find Erica - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

SPEAKERS

Chris Williamson
host
Host of the Modern Wisdom podcast and interviewer.
Erica Komisar
guest
Psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert; author focusing on child development, attachment, and family dynamics.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Modern Wisdom, featuring Chris Williamson and Erica Komisar, Why Children of Divorce Grow into Broken Adults - Erica Komisar explores erica Komisar on divorce, attachment, and child development stability costs Komisar argues divorce is universally stressful for children, but a “good divorce” can be less damaging than a high-conflict marriage, with the key variable being chronic stress exposure and stability.

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