Why Do People Lie About Their Relationships? - Daniel Sloss

Chris Williamson 0:00 (wind blowing) Ladies and gentlemen, Daniel Sloss.

Daniel Sloss 0:09 Hey. It's me.

Chris Williamson 0:11 They've let you over the border from Scotland into England.

Daniel Sloss 0:14 I know. Well, I mean, is Newcastle really England?

Chris Williamson 0:17 I'm not sure.

Daniel Sloss 0:18 'Cause like my support act and best friend over the years here, clam, 'cause he's from, eh, Newcastle and it's just ... There's always ... There's a genuine affiliation between the Geordies and the Scot's where we're just like-

Chris Williamson 0:28 Kind of.

Daniel Sloss 0:28 Yeah. I mean, you're all, you're pretty much scot- 'cause we're ... Like you hit the south as much as we do. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 0:34 Absolutely.

Daniel Sloss 0:35 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Williamson 0:35 And anything that's below Leeds is southern.

Daniel Sloss 0:37 Yeah. Yeah. Southern softies.

Chris Williamson 0:39 Exactly.

Daniel Sloss 0:40 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 0:40 Agreed. What's super interesting, when I speak to Americans, they don't know that there is an actual wall between Scotland and England.

Daniel Sloss 0:47 Yes.

Chris Williamson 0:47 So they don't know that Hadrian's Wall is a thing.

Daniel Sloss 0:49 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Williamson 0:49 They're like, "You watch Game of Thrones right?" "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."

Daniel Sloss 0:52 Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Williamson 0:52 "The, you know the wall, like, that actually exists. It's a bit smaller and it's kind of ruins."

Daniel Sloss 0:56 Much smaller. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Williamson 0:57 "But it's actually there." "No way, man."

Daniel Sloss 0:59 There's two, eh, that, and the, uh, Antonine Wall as well.

Chris Williamson 1:02 That's a man who knows his background. So when I sometimes have to do my research for guests-

Daniel Sloss 1:08 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 1:08 ... I interview a guy who understands the, the foremost intellect on alien civilizations. And I'll be like, "Oh, bloody hell, I'm gonna have to sink my teeth into this."

Daniel Sloss 1:15 Die.

Chris Williamson 1:16 The research for yourself was watching your Netflix specials.

Daniel Sloss 1:19 Great fun.

Chris Williamson 1:19 Watching you on YouTube and sliding into your mum's DMs.

Daniel Sloss 1:23 Aye, that is my mother to a fucking T.

Chris Williamson 1:26 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 1:26 Like I love, I love the woman so much, um, uh, I love her dearly. But she's abs- she's, she's an absolute whore for fame. She loves it.

Chris Williamson 1:34 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 1:35 She loves, she loves the fact that she's, uh, known as ... 'Cause it, she was, over the course of the years, during the Edinburgh Festival and stuff, my mum will spend a lot of money going to see as much shows as she can during the Festival because she supports all communions. And even when they try to give her like free tickets and stuff, she refuses to because she understands how the industry works.

Chris Williamson 1:49 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 1:50 She's an absolute fucking sweetheart. But yeah, she loves, loves the attention. Um, uh, and eh, but she's fucking lovely. Like she's a very, very funny woman.

Chris Williamson 1:58 She is. She's given me ... So later on, I've got a couple of, um, a couple of things that I need to ask you about, which is the inside information from mother-

Daniel Sloss 2:07 I'm assuming, yeah, she's st- she'll, she'll have to have a knife in my back like the Judas whore that she is.

Chris Williamson 2:10 Yeah. She has done indeed. Um, so your Netflix special Jigsaw.

Daniel Sloss 2:16 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 2:17 Which some people may have seen and some may not. I wanted you, if you can, to just try and explain the concept of Jigsaw or A Jigsaw For Life.

Daniel Sloss 2:26 Um, the concept is basically, uh, um, I j- ... I don't hate relationships. I just hate 90% of people in relationships because they are l- ... I don't like liars and you, when you're in a, most people in relationships, they're lying to me and they're lying to themfucking selves. I was sick a- ... There's a certain arrogance to people in relationships that they've achieved something that I don't have by f- you know, settling for this other person, that they have a happier life than I do. I enjoy being single, right? Um, and one day I won't enjoy it, somebody ... One day I'll enjoy the company of, of the person and I'll want to spend the rest of my life with them. Um, I believe that what I get annoyed at is by people when they force something into their life, they force a person into life because they think they should be in a relationship, which is what 90% of you fuckers do. You cram this horrible person into your life and you post pictures about how happy you are, and you're not happy. And I know you're not happy because you are bragging about it. Whenever I'm happy or proud about something, I'm not on Twitter going, "God yeah, I just nailed this. I'm the best at this." Like, I'm enjoying the thing.

Chris Williamson 3:31 You're re- reveling in the experience itself.

Daniel Sloss 3:33 Yeah. I'm not boasting on, I'm not posting pictures of how much fun I'm having by the thing 'cause I'm enjoying myself. For me, you post about things, uh, when they're not going well, t- 'cause you, you, you lie to social media so you can convince yourselves when you look back at your pictures.

Chris Williamson 3:47 Artificially inseminating a sense of purpose, right?

Daniel Sloss 3:49 Yes. And I just fe- for me, as somebody who's confident enough being single, you know, it's, it's, it's fine. But even I sometimes feel the pressure of sort of people, you know, people in relationships are going, "Oh God, maybe I should be in a relationship. Maybe I should settle for that." And I'm barely able to resist it. So when you're putting out this content that's sort of bragging about how happy you are when you're not, and you are adding to this idea that being alone is wrong, you're gonna cause people who are of, uh, less sort- of ... People who've maybe been lonely longer than I have or don't have, you know, as big a social circle, whatever, that, you know ... Or, you know, mental health issues, countless other things. They see you happy and you've said that you weren't happy when you were a singer and the happiness that you got is from finding this fucking person and you're full of shit. And I think it's very, very damaging. And if you want to brag about happy you are in a relationship, I will absolutely brag about happier I am being single and I will win.

Chris Williamson 4:41 Fantastic. Well, I mean, I am-

Daniel Sloss 4:43 If you want, if you want to end up in a happiness competition and a bragging competition, I'll fucking bury you.

Chris Williamson 4:47 Let's, let's get our dicks out and measure them. Yeah, exactly.

Daniel Sloss 4:49 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 4:49 So I mean, I am firmly in the same camp as yourself. And I think there is a ... it's a very nuanced understanding of relationships to be able to say that I am happy, I'm happy on my own, because it sounds an awful lot like you don't want someone.

Daniel Sloss 5:04 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 5:05 Which isn't the case.

Daniel Sloss 5:06 No. No. Absolutely.

Chris Williamson 5:07 I, I think from watching the special it sounds like an uncompromising set of standards on what you will accept as a partner.

Daniel Sloss 5:16 I ... It's not, it's not even that, like I don't, uh, I don't think getting a partner, they should sort of be anything. I don't have any expectations of my, uh, future eh, partner. For me, I just think falling in love should be the most inconvenient thing in the fucking world, like it should ruin your day. Like people who when they fall in love, like I know I'm in love because I, every time I thought about them, I smiled and I was happy. And I'm like, "No. No. No. That's you in love with the idea of love. It's not about the individual." You're in love with the idea of being in love and you love the feeling of being in love. When you're actually in love, like-... f- I think it's just, you know, you just go, "Oh, for fuck's sake. I was having so much fun. I was living my best life and then this person came along and they make me laugh and I want to spend my time with them." And my life used to love being alone, and now every, every time I'm in a situation that I'm enjoying, my brain goes, "I wish this person was here with me. I want to share this with you. Fuck! Goddamn, I was having so much fun."

Chris Williamson 6:11 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 6:11 "I had so much freedom," and I still have that, but just now I can't stop. I- uh, yeah, every time I've been in love, I've just gone, "You bitch, how dare you make me-" (laughs)

Chris Williamson 6:20 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 6:21 "...I, I love you so much." And that's so inconvenient for me, because I was enjoying being selfish. I was enjoy- ... and now I love you so much that you're my priority.

Chris Williamson 6:30 Yes.

Daniel Sloss 6:30 And that's insanity, but-

Chris Williamson 6:32 I suppose, I suppose what ha- the implication there is that if you, if a major part of your life and your purpose, worth, happiness is derived from your relationship with someone else, it puts a lot of power in someone else's hands, right? Like, you need to be-

Daniel Sloss 6:49 Absolutely. Yeah.

Chris Williamson 6:49 ... you need to feel, uh, you're very vulnerable, at the mercy and at the behest of what they want to do to you.

Daniel Sloss 6:54 Yeah, I think, I think you should, you know ... y- ... the person you're with should make you so happy, like, all the time. Like, if they make you feel bad, you know, then get rid of them. I've never understood it. I find the concept of the one is the most arrogant thing in the entire ... and this is coming from an incredibly arrogant man.

Chris Williamson 7:09 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 7:11 But the, the concept of the, of the one is so narcissistic that not even I can fall into it. You th- you're telling me, if you believe in the one, there's only one person on this planet that's good enough for you? Wind your fucking neck in.

Chris Williamson 7:25 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 7:25 Fucking in a one-mile radius, I could find you 100 people who are-

Chris Williamson 7:30 That you'd say yes to.

Daniel Sloss 7:31 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 7:31 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 7:31 Who are not only good enough for me, but better.

Chris Williamson 7:34 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 7:34 Just, yeah, I, I ... and, but we, we create this idea, and, and oh my god, when it gets difficult, put the work in. Why? If it's not easy, like, I think, you know, every ... and I've done those relationships, you know, I've been in those relationships where the other person makes you feel like shit, and, you know, you look at your parents and you look at our grandparents' generation, because none of them would get divorced because it was too inconvenient and fucking being alone was so taboo. And it was, you know, the only way you were ever out of a relationship is if one of them fucking died, you know.

Chris Williamson 8:03 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 8:03 Back when all of our granddads were perverts, and they were perverts, they were stalkers. "How did you meet your gr- gran?" "Oh, well, she didn't want me at first and then I fucking watered down."

Chris Williamson 8:11 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 8:11 "Fucking Jesus, Grandpa."

Chris Williamson 8:13 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 8:13 "That's awful. That's horrendous."

Chris Williamson 8:15 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 8:15 "You just lived in a time when you were just able to stand outside of her work with flowers and be like, 'I love you'"

Chris Williamson 8:20 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 8:20 "And she wouldn't ... and she didn't have the internet or a phone or Tinder to know that there were options outside of the five miles that she inhabited." Yeah. No. Our g- we've, we've ... our grandparents lied through their fucking teeths, and they just, they didn't stay t- ... uh, some of them did stay together for love, but I just think they'd come out of fucking World War II.

Chris Williamson 8:40 I- yeah. I mean-

Daniel Sloss 8:40 They were five years old, and they were just like, "We have to live properly."

Chris Williamson 8:42 "Thank fuck we're alive."

Daniel Sloss 8:43 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 8:44 "Bet- bet- better make some more of us."

Daniel Sloss 8:45 "Let's make loads." Yeah.

Chris Williamson 8:46 Yeah, exactly. It's, I mean, I think people are quite quick to judge the, um, I guess, the Gen Y and the, and the Millennials for this very transactional nature of, uh, relationships.

Daniel Sloss 8:59 Mm.

Chris Williamson 8:59 And that it's easy come, easy go. And, uh, a lot of the time, you hear people talk wistfully about this, like, older time where people would, you know, they'd stick it out and this, that, and the other. But, I mean, sticking it out in a relationship sounds an awful lot like in- incompatibility to me.

Daniel Sloss 9:13 Yeah, sticking out and just being like, you know, "Well, you know, we've been together for this." This is, it's a s- sunken cost fallacy. Like, it's exactly that. You go, "Well, I spent all this time with them." And I, and I get those feelings. I've been in those relationships where you go, "I've put three years into it. Like, am I willing to ..." As you say in the show, am I ... you got that choice, you're willing to either admit that the last three years of your life have been a waste, or am I going to waste the rest of my life? And it's a tough fucking thing. And also, breakup, breakups always suck as well.

Chris Williamson 9:38 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 9:38 Like, even if it's mutual. Sometimes the mutual ones are the saddest ones.

Chris Williamson 9:42 Yeah, they are.

Daniel Sloss 9:43 The-

Chris Williamson 9:43 When both of you know-

Daniel Sloss 9:45 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 9:45 ... that neither of you are happy.

Daniel Sloss 9:46 Yeah, but, but you don't hate each other.

Chris Williamson 9:48 (sighs)

Daniel Sloss 9:48 You just grow ... you grow apart. Like, my first girlfriend, when we ... at first, we were, we were together for two and a half years, when we broke up, and she didn't cry. I sobbed for the whole breakup. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 9:59 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 10:00 I cried. 'Cause I felt so guilty. I was like, "God, I'm destroying her life." And she was like, "No, dick. Like, I'll be fine without you." (laughs)

Chris Williamson 10:07 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 10:07 "Like, I'll miss you and ..." But we, you know, she was like, "Look, we have grown apart. There's nothing wrong with it."

Chris Williamson 10:12 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 10:12 "Like, we don't hate each other. There's no animosity. We didn't cheat on each other. We weren't abusive." But just at points, she just went, "Ah, it's not, it's not you." And that's really ... those are sad, 'cause that's like ... you know, it's much easier if the person's a cunt to you, or they've cheated on you, 'cause it's a-

Chris Williamson 10:25 It's a very dr-

Daniel Sloss 10:25 ... yeah.

Chris Williamson 10:25 ... very sharp line to draw, isn't it?

Daniel Sloss 10:26 Yeah, you just go, "It's done. It's over."

Chris Williamson 10:27 Band-aid's been ripped.

Daniel Sloss 10:28 But when, you, you know, when you, if you don't grow together, you know, you grow in different directions, there's always that bit of like, "Oh, God, this is me."

Chris Williamson 10:37 Mm.

Daniel Sloss 10:37 Or, you know, 'cause you're never gonna blame them.

Chris Williamson 10:39 But, I mean, I think one of the things I noticed when I was especially young was that I felt like there was a ... the world was ours to be girdled around the relationship, and not that we were being stretched by the world. And that it's like, "No, man, like, just love l- love will win. Like, love l- love wi- ... it, it, it doesn't matter." Like, so I had a girlfriend that was a dancer in Ibiza.

Daniel Sloss 10:59 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 10:59 And then she was gonna go dancing in Egypt when she came back from Ibiza, and this, that, and the other. I look back now and I was like, "Man, it was a holiday romance."

Daniel Sloss 11:06 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 11:06 Like, concede the fact that it was a holiday romance. But no, no, I was gonna try and launch a business, do a master's in international marketing at Newcastle University, and have a relationship with a dancer who was in Egypt at the same time.

Daniel Sloss 11:18 Easy.

Chris Williamson 11:19 I'm, I'm like-

Daniel Sloss 11:20 (laughs)

Chris Williamson 11:20 Looking back, I'm like, "What the fuck were you doing?"

Daniel Sloss 11:23 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 11:23 Like, and every night there would be me, I'd be concerned, she'd be out dancing till late. Is she drinking? Is the f- fucking Steve Angello and his fucking ... you know, is he around, and-

Daniel Sloss 11:35 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 11:35 ... his posse around and blah, blah, blah? And I think just, bro, just let ... like, she's not happy because you're complaining and you're insecure all the time.

Daniel Sloss 11:42 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 11:43 Like-

Daniel Sloss 11:43 And, and, and you're forcing your insecurities onto her. You're being like, yeah, that, that whole thing about what you doing. Whatever I wanna fucking do.

Chris Williamson 11:49 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 11:49 But do you ... why don't you trust me enough to know that I'm not going to intentionally be a bad person towards you?

Chris Williamson 11:54 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 11:54 Says more about yourself and your impression of me.

Chris Williamson 11:56 Yeah, well, absolutely.

Daniel Sloss 11:57 Than who I am as a person, yeah.

Chris Williamson 11:58 So yeah, I think that's, that's one of the things that really struck me. And one of the other things that I really liked was how you talked about the innate desire for people to feel like they need to have someone to make themselves whole. And I think that that is part of the jigsaw analogy itself-

Daniel Sloss 12:15 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 12:15 ... right, that you have particular quadrants of the jigsaw that you put together.

Daniel Sloss 12:19 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 12:20 Could you, could you explain those?

Daniel Sloss 12:21 Yeah. Well, so originally it was, the idea was like you've got the, obviously with a jigsaw you start on the outside, you've got the four corners. You've got f- and this is obviously different for different people, but in the analogy I used it was like friends, family, job, and hobbies. Like, and those are transferrable, they're different from you in some way, or you know, your family ... My family's very important to me and so are my friends. And, um, of course I love my job. Don't have many hobbies.

Chris Williamson 12:43 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 12:43 So that corner's obviously small for me. But for other people, you know, maybe they fucking hate their family. Maybe their family is shit-

Chris Williamson 12:48 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 12:48 ... or, and maybe they've only got like three close friends but they've got lots of hobbies and their, their job is an all sort of consuming thing. Um, and it's, you know, the pro- problem with the, the jigsaw analogy is people ... Jigsaws don't change over the years. They're always the same picture-

Chris Williamson 13:05 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 13:05 ... whereas you change. There's points when you just go, "Fuck, I don't wanna be obsessed with my job anymore." Or, you know, or my f- or, "I want my family bed to be bigger now."

Chris Williamson 13:13 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 13:13 And you have to sort of move, right? So there's a constantly changing and a shifting thing, but the one thing we all want, uh, is we all feel broken if we don't have someone there. And the reason we feel broken is because of how we raise children. You know, TV shows, everything is about love, everything is about relationships. Y- you know, our parents' divorce is very, very common. It's a very, very common thing and there's nothing wrong with it, but divorce, talking about divorce in front of kids is very sort of taboo because you can't tell kids that sometimes love is wrong. You can't tell an eight-year-old that they're gonna get it wrong so many fucking times-

Chris Williamson 13:51 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 13:51 ... so many times before they get it right. Uh, because that's not what you want the story of, you know, love to be when you, you're seven or eight years old. Um, and I think-

Chris Williamson 14:01 It's like the Disney movie, right?

Daniel Sloss 14:02 Yeah. It's, you know, it's always the Disney princess gets, uh, the prince or the prince gets the princess, or it's always about these relationships. The whole focus of ev- every single TV show is. And I've done this even now, when I'm pitching TV shows they go, "Who's the love interest?" You're like, "Why does there have to be a fucking love interest?" Like, why does my show that has nothing to do with love, why does my character, why is that important that, you know, his or her growth? Like, it's-

Chris Williamson 14:26 People just need to l- uh, a lot of people feel the desire to latch onto that particular story though, right?

Daniel Sloss 14:31 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 14:31 It's a story (clears throat) of hope and redemption for people who don't have it. And I, I, I guess, uh, a hope of continuation for those who do.

Daniel Sloss 14:39 Mm-hmm. I ... Yeah, and again, I've, I've ... Look, I've always said that I've got nothing against relationships and Jigsaw was never meant to be a breakup show, and it is not. It's a love letter to single people. I just-

Chris Williamson 14:48 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 14:48 It took me so long to be secure with being single. It took me to no ... You know, especially with family and stuff when you get married, when you're having kids, you're like, "Whenever I fucking want."

Chris Williamson 14:56 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 14:57 And if I don't have them, tough shit, right? Get a grandchild from your other kids, I don't care. I've, I don't owe you anything. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 15:03 I was, I was at my business partner's wedding a few years ago, him and his missus have been together since they were 20, they are the exact opposite, the polar opposite of my situation.

Daniel Sloss 15:12 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 15:12 Just about to have their second child and they've got two dogs and it is like the white picket fence, the British-

Daniel Sloss 15:16 Ah, yes.

Chris Williamson 15:16 ... white picket fence equivalent. I'm at his wedding and we've been there for the weekend, it's been beautiful and everything's amazing and the family's got on and the service was fantastic and this, that and the other. As I'm driving away I can see his mum and a couple of her family members just looking at me as I drove past. And I could just see in their eyes they were thinking, "You're next." And I wound the window down and I was like, "Won't be soon." (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 15:40 (laughs)

Chris Williamson 15:40 And just drove off. And I'm like, there are, there are different paths in love life for different people.

Daniel Sloss 15:48 Mm-hmm. Like, and, uh, yeah. I, so some of us, don't get me wrong, I, this ... I'm an absolute romantic. Like I, I wanna, I wanna be a dad more than anything in the world, I really, really do. And I wanna get married, I wanna have kids and I want that. I just don't think I have to do it before I'm 30 and I don't think ... I think I'm not looking for it at all. Like, I'm thoroughly enjoying, you know, 'cause I'm not being in a relationship and not being a dad means I can be selfish as shit at the moment.

Chris Williamson 16:14 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 16:14 I can travel as much as I travel for my job, I can really focus on ... And one day that will change. One day some goddamn woman is going to come in my life and just be perfect and I'm gonna go, "You motherfucker."

Chris Williamson 16:26 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 16:27 "Goddamn it."

Chris Williamson 16:28 "I didn't realize that I was writing all of these routines, and it was you-"

Daniel Sloss 16:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh-

Chris Williamson 16:32 "... that's gonna come in."

Daniel Sloss 16:33 And the, and the fucking hypocrisy-

Chris Williamson 16:35 Oh man, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 16:35 ... that's ... Come on. See when I get into a fucking relationship, my fans are gonna be like, "You fucking what?"

Chris Williamson 16:40 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 16:40 And I'm like, "I know-"

Chris Williamson 16:41 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 16:41 "... I'm sorry. She made me fall in love with her."

Chris Williamson 16:43 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 16:43 "I'm one of ... I didn't mean to ..." Blame her. Look at her with her fucking perfect little laugh that for some reason makes me feel warm inside, all that. Yeah, I'm gonna be a hypocrite. I'm gonna be an absolute hypocrite. But no, but I also won't be, because I ne- I'm not against relationships, I'm against fake relationships. And the more fake relationships that exist you are ... It's, it's, it's a disease. Like, 'cause you'll sit there and go, "I'm so happy. I'm so happy in this relationship." And you're not, but you'll lie to your friends that are single and go, "I'm so happy with Jonathan." Or, "I'm so happy with

Daniel Sloss 17:13 Claire." And they'll go, "Fucking hell, they get through it. They hate each other and they get through it."

Chris Williamson 17:17 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 17:18 "You ... That's what we must, must do." And you sat, you just go, "Fucky, I this person, I'll change who I am." You know, everyone says it takes work. Why? Why does it have to take work? Like, if you've got kids, absolutely. Like, if it's ... But when you're just starting out, like, man, if I had a r- This, uh, this might sound insane and that's because I am. If I, if, if I'm in a relationship and we have one argument in that first year, bye. (claps)

Chris Williamson 17:40 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 17:40 Like, uh, like, uh ... And oh, we can have disagreements, like-

Chris Williamson 17:43 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 17:43 ... I love heated discussions.

Chris Williamson 17:44 You want pineapple on pizza, I don't want pineapple on pizza.

Daniel Sloss 17:46 Yeah, yeah, we can do that. But like, if, like, let's say I get-

Chris Williamson 17:49 Something fundamental.

Daniel Sloss 17:50 Yeah. Like you ... I have a lot of female friends and one of my best friends in the world is, uh, God, I've been friends with Jean for eight years, we live together, she's one of my closest friends. If I was ever in a relationship with someone who's like, "You need to see Jean less," I would be like, "You can absolutely take a running fork to yourself."

Chris Williamson 18:06 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 18:06 Like it's, you know, that ... 'Cause that's you, that's, that's either jealousy which, um, I've, I've, I've, don't suffer from, so it's maybe, you know, I don't have any, I don't have any fucking sympathy for it.

Chris Williamson 18:15 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 18:16 ... uh, because it's, those are your insecurities. And I ... And trust me, I will do everything to, you know ... If I'm with someone, I don't want them to feel insecure. You know, I think your job is to make that person, you know, feel loved and valuable and ... But, you know, even if you do that and they're still fucking jealous, you're like, "I can't."

Chris Williamson 18:32 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 18:32 You know, it's not my job to fix it.

Chris Williamson 18:33 Fighting- fighting the fucking tide here.

Daniel Sloss 18:34 Yeah, yeah. It's not your job to fix me and it's not my job to fix you. You know, I don't owe ... You don't owe anyone anything-

Chris Williamson 18:41 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 18:42 ... really. But if, when you've spent a lot of time together, you've been in a relationship or whatever, you, sometimes you feel you-

Chris Williamson 18:46 How do you-

Daniel Sloss 18:47 ... you just-

Chris Williamson 18:47 How do you think that you mediate, then, between someone who thinks this relationship might not be right for me-

Daniel Sloss 18:54 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 18:54 ... and Daniel said, like, you know, too many disagreements and too many complaints and too much upset is a bad idea, and then a side where you may find some form of a blockage within a relationship which requires some work to be done, which you then push through to find a newer-

Daniel Sloss 19:13 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 19:13 ... level? Obviously the devil's in the details there.

Daniel Sloss 19:16 Yeah. I mean, look, there is ... Look, it, look, it, that's ... You know, there's a problem with, one of the many problems with the, the jigsaw analogy on my show, which is, yeah, nothing is black and white, and what I'm up there doing is I'm saying, "This is the black and this is the white," because the amount of nuance and time I would need to discuss it adequately-

Chris Williamson 19:30 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 19:30 ... would be seven, even a day, we would-

Chris Williamson 19:33 You'd need volumes of books.

Daniel Sloss 19:34 Yeah. There are l-

Chris Williamson 19:35 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 19:35 There are l- there are psychologists who study for years who don't even ... Are able to, you know, explain to that level of sort of detail. It's up to you. If it feels, you know, right. I totally believe that there are ... Some relationships should require work, like if you're feeling a little bit ... You shouldn't dump someone out of the blue, necessarily.

Chris Williamson 19:54 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 19:54 You should go, "Here's what I feel like. I'm either less attracted to you, or it, uh, or I missed the spark that we used to have, or I think ... Or, or I feel like I'm changing in this way and you're pushing me that way." You talk to the person. Open the communication before you break up, and then, uh, if they're like, "Well, that's not gonna change," then ... Uh, I ... It's different for everyone. Like it's-

Chris Williamson 20:13 It is, and that's, that's where the, the devil being in the details is obviously where the ... why relationships are, are hard.

Daniel Sloss 20:19 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 20:20 Like, and it's not hard as in it has to be hard work, as in sometimes it's just going to take a lot of cognitive power. But one of the things that you touch on that I really, really like is that you need to love yourself before you can learn to love someone else and before you can allow them to love you.

Daniel Sloss 20:34 Yeah, 100%.

Chris Williamson 20:35 And I, I think you need to be able to understand your own values and what you will and will not tolerate, within yourself.

Daniel Sloss 20:45 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 20:45 Like, there's certain things that I've realized are, uh, keystone habits and keystone failures of myself, and when I get them right, I feel ten times better, and when I get them wrong, I feel ten times worse. But I never knew that I was being triggered on those by partners and I was projecting onto partners for a decade.

Daniel Sloss 21:02 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 21:03 Until I actually did a bit of introspective work and then realized that.

Daniel Sloss 21:07 Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like-

Chris Williamson 21:08 And you're like, "Holy fucking shit." Like the problem was never with them. The pro- the problem was with them, but it was other things.

Daniel Sloss 21:14 Yes.

Chris Williamson 21:14 But, you know-

Daniel Sloss 21:15 It was ... You didn't ... We ... Especially when we come out of a relationship, is when we come out of our teenage years, none of us are fucking confident, right? Even the confident teenagers, like deep down, weren't-

Chris Williamson 21:25 Oh, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 21:26 ... confident. Like, we're all, we're all just b- fucking balls of, eh-

Chris Williamson 21:30 Hormones and-

Daniel Sloss 21:30 ... hormones-

Chris Williamson 21:31 ... insecurity.

Daniel Sloss 21:32 ... insecurity and anxiety. And you know, we're just filled up to our balls with cum and we were horny-

Chris Williamson 21:37 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 21:37 ... and we didn't know why, and we didn't know what to do. And you sit there and you get into a ... So y- so you're insecure. And you, and you, and you ... And also, you know, you, you ... They suddenly go, "You're an adult." Especially when you're a teenager, they go, "You're a n- young adult." You're a fucking teenager. I'm a young adult.

Chris Williamson 21:51 I'm a child.

Daniel Sloss 21:52 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 21:52 I'm a child who can vote.

Daniel Sloss 21:53 I'm 28 and now I'm a young adult.

Chris Williamson 21:54 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 21:55 Th- I'm a young adult only now, is-

Chris Williamson 21:57 Hundred percent.

Daniel Sloss 21:57 Before that, I was a fucking d- I was a child, right? How dare you ca- How ... Like, I understood when I was fucking 6 years old, I was like, "I'm a young adult," full of shit. No I was not. And the fact that you even let me believe I was a young adult is ridiculous.

Chris Williamson 22:09 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 22:09 I didn't know anything.

Chris Williamson 22:10 Fucking child abuse.

Daniel Sloss 22:11 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 22:11 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 22:13 (laughs) And then you get into ... So you don't love yourself 'cause you don't know who you are, and the problem is when you get into a relationship then, especially when we go into university, I mean, not that I did, but I saw it amongst, uh, my friends, is you go through this stage where you're allowed to ... You're going to change so much because, you know, you don't really choose what fucking high school you go to or who your friends ... You, you pick a friend out of this randomly selected of people in your fucking area who happened to be born in the same year. Like, none of them are ... You're just friends with them out of convenience, and don't ... You'll get friends for life and whatnot. But when you go to university, there's a lot more freedom to it. You're gonna grow naturally and i- i- i- not even in university, but just after high school, we're going to change so much. And I feel like sometimes if you're in a relationship there, which you would be because you're like, "Oh, God. Here's this scary new world that I'm a fucking adult in. What do adults do? Oh, adults are married, adults are in relationships. So what I'll do, to be an adult, I'll get into a fucking relationship and I'll do exactly what my parents did, which is compromise and change and do anything to make this relationship work, because that's what adults do." And you sit there and you create this false f- version of yourself, and it's not malicious in any way. The, the person that you are r- ... They're not changing you for bad reasons. You're like, "Please change me. I wanna do anything ... I love you and you make me happy, and I want to make you as happy as you make me, so I will change. I'll willingly change for you." And then seven years later you're like, "I don't even fucking like rock climbing."

Chris Williamson 23:32 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 23:33 (laughs) Like, "Ah, I fucking hate cheese and wine." Like, "Why have I watched Eat Pray Love seventeen fucking times?"

Chris Williamson 23:39 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 23:39 Like, "This is not ... (laughs) who I, I am." And it's really hard because that person that changed you, they didn't f- necessarily force you to change.

Chris Williamson 23:47 They didn't think, "I'm gonna make this cunt a rock climber."

Daniel Sloss 23:48 No. Yeah. You just decided yourself, you're like, "I'll do whatever makes you happy," and you know, just all of a sudden you're like, "Hey, I've been ... I like football. I wanna watch on."

Chris Williamson 23:57 Yeah, it's, it's like being, it's like being moldable putty, right?

Daniel Sloss 23:59 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 23:59 And, and you're just so malleable at that early age. But I mean, I, I s- 'cause it's-

Daniel Sloss 24:05 Love's confusing, man. When you're in love-

Chris Williamson 24:06 It is.

Daniel Sloss 24:06 ... you'd do anything for that person.

Chris Williamson 24:08 You would. And the, the ... One of the maddest things and the crazy duality that we need to hold in both ... Both of these need to exist together, right? So you need to say, "You are crazy malleable, you are going to be potentially changed in a manner that is inappropriate and damaging to you."... but you also kinda need to experience these things, and you also need to suffer so you can learn.

Daniel Sloss 24:28 Yeah, yeah.

Chris Williamson 24:29 So you can't expedite the success and avoid the suffering. But also, if you could get it absolutely right, you- you could-

Daniel Sloss 24:36 Oh-

Chris Williamson 24:36 ... and you're like, "Oh, fucking hell mate. Do you want to have your cake and eat it and throw it out the window as well?" Like...

Daniel Sloss 24:41 Right. I just think, you know, the- the- the best- some of the best lessons I learned about myself I learned from failed relationships.

Chris Williamson 24:47 100%. 100%.

Daniel Sloss 24:48 Um, I- which is why I genuinely like, you know ... You know, I like the fact that I'm friends with, you know, a lot of ... Well, or we're- we're not friends with my exes, but we ended on sort of amicable terms and I've got no sort of ill feelings towards them. Even the person that Jigsaw was about-

Chris Williamson 25:04 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 25:04 ... we've sort of managed to ... I mean, that- that sh- writing that show was very cathartic.

Chris Williamson 25:08 I was gonna say, I mean, surely once that got published, the-

Daniel Sloss 25:11 I-

Chris Williamson 25:12 ... person in question ...

Daniel Sloss 25:13 (smacks lips) I don't know if, uh, she has, uh, watched it, um, but, you know, I think she'll, you know-

Chris Williamson 25:20 No letter bombs or anything yet?

Daniel Sloss 25:21 No, no, but I think, I think she'd understand as well, like-

Chris Williamson 25:23 Which, I mean, it's very respectful-

Daniel Sloss 25:25 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 25:25 ... I think, personally. Like, uh, I if I-

Daniel Sloss 25:28 I do say she's the worst person I've ever met in my life.

Chris Williamson 25:30 Okay yeah, I mean, well, yeah but there's got to be some comedic kind of, uh-

Daniel Sloss 25:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris Williamson 25:33 ... a bit of artistic license to it.

Daniel Sloss 25:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris Williamson 25:35 That kind of-

Daniel Sloss 25:35 And also exaggeration, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris Williamson 25:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 25:37 No, I mean-

Chris Williamson 25:38 That bit wasn't- that- that bit wasn't so bad.

Daniel Sloss 25:39 It was a- it was a- it was a terrible, terrible, uh, relationship, uh, and it took a while to sort of recover from. 'Cause that's always the thing as well, like, whenever you get it wrong, you feel like such a dick.

Chris Williamson 25:48 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 25:48 And so those are the one w- I think one of the worst feelings in the world in a- in a relationship is, you know, when ... It's- it's such a shame that the c- that the- the line, "It's not you, it's me" is- is cliché, and if you ever say that, the person you're breaking up will hate you because sometimes it's the- it's the only honest thing.

Chris Williamson 26:06 It's the break-

Daniel Sloss 26:06 You go-

Chris Williamson 26:07 ... equivalent of Netflix and chill.

Daniel Sloss 26:08 You're like-

Chris Williamson 26:08 And I'm like, "No, that's what I want to do."

Daniel Sloss 26:10 I do.

Chris Williamson 26:10 I really do want to watch some Netflix and chill out.

Daniel Sloss 26:12 It's n- yeah, the Fyre Festival documentary's out and it sounds very interesting.

Chris Williamson 26:15 Fucking unbelievable, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 26:16 Yeah. And it- and sometimes it is not you, it's me. You've done nothing wrong. I'm just changing and it- my future doesn't involve you, and you feel so shit because this person that, you know, loved you unconditionally, um, and sort of, you know, is ama- is amazing, there's nothing wrong with them, and you don't love them. You feel so broke. You feel evil.

Chris Williamson 26:38 Are you a- are you an empathetic individual, would you say?

Daniel Sloss 26:40 To- for hugely. I hate my-

Chris Williamson 26:42 I ... me too.

Daniel Sloss 26:42 I hate my levels of empathy.

Chris Williamson 26:43 It's one of my biggest weaknesses, and I've only just be- recently begun to realize it.

Daniel Sloss 26:47 Yeah I- I really ... And I do go- I- look, I th- look, let's not criticize empathy, I think the whole world could do with a lot more of it.

Chris Williamson 26:53 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 26:54 But-

Chris Williamson 26:54 Well, I- we've got ... Can we take some of mine? Like for the love of fucking God.

Daniel Sloss 26:58 I can't. I can't handle it with my level of empathy.

Chris Williamson 26:59 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 26:59 Which is why I put up so many, a lot of walls sometimes where it's just like, if people knew how empathetic I was, they'd take advantage of me.

Chris Williamson 27:05 100%.

Daniel Sloss 27:06 So that's why I just- you know, that's why I make sure that my whole prov- my whole bravado on stage is, "I'm built like big bollocks. Nothing you could say could ever make me question anything otherwise. I'm so assured in all of my opinions. I'm the smartest man alive. I'm God." That's what my whole persona is, that, it's just because, you know, if you knew how- y- you know. It's so much easier to come across as cold and I don't give a shit.

Chris Williamson 27:26 I think so, and I- I do think as well that the- the empathy thing means that when- when the iron gets struck really, really well, like it- the- the- the world can come crashing down pretty quick.

Daniel Sloss 27:39 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 27:39 And I think, like weird stuff for me, like even if-

Daniel Sloss 27:41 What level of empathy, like if you see someone cry, do you immediately start welling up yourself?

Chris Williamson 27:44 I- it's difficult, man. Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 27:46 I ...

Chris Williamson 27:46 I mean, that's in there like, to the point where s-

Daniel Sloss 27:48 If I e- if- i- if I ever hear- if I ever hear like a ... I don't know why it is, but if I ever hear like a, uh, like a girl, like a small girl just shout for her dad for some reason-

Chris Williamson 27:59 There we go.

Daniel Sloss 27:59 Oh, done one. I'm like, "What the ... I'm not even a dad."

Chris Williamson 28:02 (laughs) Yeah. I'm totally for-

Daniel Sloss 28:03 I'm like, "Wait." And don't get me wrong, girls have called me Daddy before but in a very different context.

Chris Williamson 28:07 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 28:07 And they were much older. But, (laughs) like, why? (laughs) Why (laughs) do I just hear the- I don't know what it is that ... Um, I want- I do some fucking weird shit to just ... For so long as well, like I stopped myself from crying in my teenage years and I've got no idea why I did it.

Chris Williamson 28:24 Okay.

Daniel Sloss 28:24 My father is ... My- I've seen my dad cry before.

Chris Williamson 28:27 Okay.

Daniel Sloss 28:27 Like he- he- my dad was never one of those guys that's like, he's like crying is weak. He's never said that ever. I've seen my dad cry. He was logical-

Chris Williamson 28:34 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 28:34 ... and he would be- he was always in control of his emotions, but if the man wanted to cry, he'd fucking cry. For some reason, I don't know where I got it from, I got this idea in my head that crying was weak and I would physically stop myself from crying at movies and stuff.

Chris Williamson 28:47 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 28:47 Like, the two-wheeler would be like, "Nuh-uh."

Chris Williamson 28:49 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 28:49 "Nuh-uh."

Chris Williamson 28:50 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 28:50 I'm like-

Chris Williamson 28:50 Grit your teeth and stop it for-

Daniel Sloss 28:51 Yeah. I'm home alone and I'm stopping myself from crying like a fucking sociopath.

Chris Williamson 28:55 Yeah. (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 28:55 Because I hated my empathy. I hated how empathetic I was. Whereas now I fully embrace it. I just go on YouTube, down deep YouTube holes of stuff that I know that's gonna make me cry. You ever seen, uh-

Chris Williamson 29:05 Dehydrated from TEA Loss, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 29:07 Man, once- uh, every now and again if I- if I feel like- like I haven't been emotional enough one month, I'll just- I'll get a bottle of wine and I'll sit down on fucking YouTube and I'll watch, uh, soldiers coming home to their dogs.

Chris Williamson 29:17 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 29:19 I'll watch, uh-

Chris Williamson 29:19 That's some serious shit, that.

Daniel Sloss 29:21 Far old dogs. Yeah, that gets me. Uh, deaf babies being given hearing aids.

Chris Williamson 29:25 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 29:25 Sobbing.

Chris Williamson 29:26 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 29:26 Openly sobbing.

Chris Williamson 29:27 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 29:27 And, uh, en- co- have you ever seen the EnChroma, EnChroma's the colorblind glasses?

Chris Williamson 29:31 Yep, yep, yep.

Daniel Sloss 29:32 I fucking we-

Chris Williamson 29:32 Coloreds for the first time.

Daniel Sloss 29:33 Oh, and then my new one is, um ... God, this is my proper vice.

Chris Williamson 29:38 (laughs) Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 29:38 Is, uh, is, uh, adoptive dads d- like- like being- like the kids taking their second name or asking to be adopted.

Chris Williamson 29:46 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, "Happy Christmas, you're being-

Daniel Sloss 29:49 Stepdads."

Chris Williamson 29:49 ... you're being adopted."

Daniel Sloss 29:50 Yeah. Like, yeah, oh yeah. No, oh no, no, it's always the- it's- it's the daughters or the sons to their stepdad being like, "I've legally changed my ... so now I'm your actual son."

Chris Williamson 29:58 Oh, shit.

Daniel Sloss 29:58 So you see these big grown men that are like six foot five, look like they used to be in prison, heavily tattooed, b- and this sm- like this 13-year-old girl goes, "You're my dad now?" And he breaks down.

Chris Williamson 30:09 World just comes crashing down.

Daniel Sloss 30:11 Oh man, it destroys me. I love it. So good.

Chris Williamson 30:14 Uh, links to everything will be in the show notes below if you want to have a nice cry at some point soon.

Daniel Sloss 30:18 Oh do it. It's like I always- I do try for so many years, I repressed it so much of like not letting s- It's like bleeding a radiator.

Chris Williamson 30:25 You're like a fucking-

Daniel Sloss 30:26 Like-

Chris Williamson 30:26 ... empathy junkie now, aren't you?

Daniel Sloss 30:27 Yeah. Oh, man, it's just like skydiving. Just be like, "What else can we fucking cry."

Chris Williamson 30:31 (laughs) Give me, give me another line of dogs meeting their owners, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 30:33 I've, I've never been on a plane and not watched The Blind Side and sobbed.

Chris Williamson 30:37 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 30:37 My ... For any international flight, I'm like, "If fucking Blind Side is on this, I'm, I'm Sandra Bullock. Look, um, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a very upper w- upper class, wealthy woman and I want to, uh, adopt and save a Black child, uh, to play American football," which is a sport I have no interest in. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 30:54 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 30:54 I love it, but I get ... I, oh man, I love crying now.

Chris Williamson 30:57 I think, uh, you know, there may be some people out there who can, uh, empathize with our empathy. And one of the-

Daniel Sloss 31:03 God, they're weak.

Chris Williamson 31:04 Oh, yeah. (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 31:05 (laughs)

Chris Williamson 31:05 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 31:05 Much stuck to me there, just yeah, yeah.

Chris Williamson 31:07 Fucking hell.

Daniel Sloss 31:07 If you're more empathetic than I am.

Chris Williamson 31:09 Wow. I know, um, one of the problems that, that, that occurs off the back of that is being able to break up with someone. You alluded to it earlier on where you said that you were terrified that you were just gonna end somebody's world.

Daniel Sloss 31:20 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 31:21 And the understanding the reality that other people will be fine, they're gonna be okay.

Daniel Sloss 31:28 Yeah. Oh, they'll be sad, but ... And that's because breakups are always sad.

Chris Williamson 31:32 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 31:32 They just are. Even if it's a bad relationship, that person was part of your life and they were the big, big part of your life, and they're not. And you're losing. When you lose, when you break up with someone, you're losing a part of yourself there, you know. It, it, it's just always gonna be sad. Like even if you've been with someone for fucking three months, they were a great three months, or they were ... But you spent so much time thinking about it, it's the closing of a chapter. Like-

Chris Williamson 31:55 And there's a, there's a recency bias as well, right? That it's difficult to remember what life was like before someone. You can be with someone for, you know, three to six months.

Daniel Sloss 32:05 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 32:05 And you're like, especially if you're young, especially if you're under sort of 30, 40 years old, like that's a significant proportion of your life, and it's the most recent-

Daniel Sloss 32:14 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 32:14 ... proportion of your l- portion of your life. So you're like, "Fucking hell." Like, "Yeah, uh, uh, uh, of course this person feels like a very, very large part." And what did I do on a Sunday morning before-

Daniel Sloss 32:24 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 32:24 ... we did-

Daniel Sloss 32:25 Who did I-

Chris Williamson 32:25 ... breakfast Sundays or whatever the fuck it was?

Daniel Sloss 32:26 Who did I text?

Chris Williamson 32:27 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 32:28 Like, I, you know, I, what, what did I, you know ... Peo- they, they made me love olives, and now I love olives. And how can I ever have an olive again without thinking of them?

Chris Williamson 32:34 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 32:35 They'll get over it. They're fucking olives.

Chris Williamson 32:36 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 32:37 (laughs) But it doesn't feel like that at the time. Also, I understand like, uh, people who are, you know, when you're in one of those relationships and you know, uh, that you're gonna break up with the person, it just becomes, it's you, you're, you're negotiating with terrorists, but the terrorist is yourself. You're going, "I'll do it next week," or, you know, it's always the thing you're like, "I can't dump them before Christmas, because they've probably got me Christmas presents and that's horrible. I don't want them to go and film it." Blah, blah, blah. And then, "I can't break up with them in New Year because it's gonna be New Year."

Chris Williamson 33:03 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 33:03 "And I can't do it before Valentine's Day, 'cause Valentine's Day is coming up." And you just ... I'm, I'm very much of the stance, and it's very hard to do, but I have done it in my past couple of relationships, is I go, the second I know I'm breaking up with them, I do it that day.

Chris Williamson 33:14 That would be a fantastic rule to live by.

Daniel Sloss 33:17 Aye, but it's tough as hell.

Chris Williamson 33:18 It is difficult, but I do think that these, sort of these heuristics and the frameworks, listeners who have listened to Relationships 101, 102 and 103 ... If you haven't listened to them, you need to go listen to them now, yeah? Um, we try and come up with these, these guidelines, because in a ... The analogy that I use is you know that you're gonna fall into some quicksand, and you know it's gonna happen in a week's time.

Daniel Sloss 33:40 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 33:40 And you're like, "Right, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna research online. I'm gonna look at the techniques for getting out of quicksand, and then when it happens, I'll be prepared and I'll have my stick with me and I'll do the, this." And then in a second iteration of this world, I push you in some quicksand and I go, "Right, get your phone out and have a look how to fucking get out of quicksand." And you're like, without a plan in advance, and without some rules and heuristics to stick to, the situation moves your capacity to perceive what is happening efficiently and effectively so far that you, you don't ... Your ability to make choices is, uh, effectively muted.

Daniel Sloss 34:14 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 34:14 And you're like, "Well, okay." So these kind of rules like that are actually a really good way of bringing people back down to Earth. And I have made relationships that I know I'm going to break up with the person in, that period has lasted longer than the bit before it in the past. And I mean, that is a ...

Daniel Sloss 34:33 It's also cruel. Like that's a-

Chris Williamson 34:36 Right.

Daniel Sloss 34:36 That's, it's one of the things that, that, that ... And if anyone's, uh, out there who's in a relationship that you know you're about to get out of, the one thing that always inspired me was always, the second you know it's over with that person, every minute that you spend with them is cruel, because you are wasting their time. Uh, you know there's no future in it. They don't know that. And, and, and, and they need, uh, the time to, to grieve, to, for the breakup and stuff, and the time to move on. And you're, every minute that you're with them is you're stealing a moment off their recovery and their future off of them. And that is the most selfish. 'Cause the, the thing I, I was like, "It's so selfish for me to break up with this person." Whereas no, no, the opposite is true. It's so selfish to not. Like yeah, they're gonna, they're gonna be heartbroken, you're gonna be fucking heartbroken, and you're gonna be filled with fucking doubt. But if, if you love them as much as you claim to, and even if it's not in that way, fucking dump them. Stop stringing them along. Stop wasting their time. Stop letting their fucking sperm shrivel up in their balls, or their eggs shrivel up-

Chris Williamson 35:34 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 35:34 ... in their body or whatever fucking thing, you know.

Chris Williamson 35:37 You are right. I mean, ex- externalizing that accountability to someone else is, is a real surefire way of driving home just how much time you're wasting. You know, you're not wasting-

Daniel Sloss 35:45 It is.

Chris Williamson 35:45 You're not just wasting your own life.

Daniel Sloss 35:46 No, no. But you're wasting theirs.

Chris Williamson 35:47 Wasting ... Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 35:47 You're wasting theirs. Like if you, if ... You know, you said there, the reason you don't want to break up with that person is because you don't want to hurt them, right? And that is admirable. Like that's really ... That is a really, really nice thing. You, d- t- you're willing to sacrifice your life to make this person happy, but that's also fucking cruel. Like you're gonna rob this person of the chance of true love? Like that's what you're gonna do? You're gonna, you're gonna stay with them and pretend to love them, to, to save their fucking heartbreak. You're not ... That's not a nice thing you're doing. Like you're just, y- you're putting them in the fucking Truman Show.

Chris Williamson 36:17 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 36:18 Like that's what you're doing. Just like, "Everything's fine, everything's dandy."

Chris Williamson 36:21 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 36:21 And they're like, "Well, he's smiling."

Chris Williamson 36:23 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 36:24 "He still fucks me like he used to. He doesn't make as much eye contact and whatnot, and the foreplay's a bit less, but he says he loves me. Look at the ring."

Chris Williamson 36:32 Man, it's, it is very, very true. I, I, I wish that it, it didn't strike such a, it didn't resonate so hard with me, but it does and, uh, you know, it very well may do to a lot of people at home. I wanted to move on to the next most important topic on my list, which is how important it is to have a shaved asshole.

Daniel Sloss 36:52 Incredibly important.

Chris Williamson 36:53 Um, you are among friends here, this is a safe space-

Daniel Sloss 36:55 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 36:56 ... and everyone who is listening will know just how much we appreciate a, a, a clean-

Daniel Sloss 37:01 It's used for shitting and rimming.

Chris Williamson 37:03 Uh, well, it's dual purpose.

Daniel Sloss 37:04 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 37:04 It's dual purpose, right?

Daniel Sloss 37:05 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 37:05 Do you know what I mean? And so have you tried a Shatafa bidet? So it's the Arabic bidet that's kind of on a hose, if you've ever been to Asian and Arab countries, you'll see.

Daniel Sloss 37:15 I have. I don't think I've ever used it 'cause I'm just... I'm scared about where the water goes.

Chris Williamson 37:19 So that's the thing. So the, the issue that you have when you come up against one of these bidets, especially one that's in use at one of the co-hosts' house, like, the pressure that comes out of it is enough to clean dirt off a car.

Daniel Sloss 37:28 (laughs)

Chris Williamson 37:29 And if you're not holding sufficient ring tension-

Daniel Sloss 37:32 If, if you get, if you get the angle wrong, it comes out your mouth.

Chris Williamson 37:34 Well, it's an enema.

Daniel Sloss 37:35 Like (laughs)

Chris Williamson 37:35 You're enemaing yourself because you don't have enough anal tone.

Daniel Sloss 37:38 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 37:38 Um, and, yeah, uh, it's something... But y- give us the, if someone's debating, if they've thought, "I, you know, I've considered shaving my ass, but I don't really understand why." Why, why, why should someone shave their ass?

Daniel Sloss 37:49 Well, first of all, uh, we, we, we belong to the... I mean, th- the older generation still call us the millennial generation or whatever generation. My generation is the ass-eating generation.

Chris Williamson 37:59 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 37:59 I, I genuinely... I would love to see the statistics of how many people born around 1999 lick each other's arse, 'cause it's, it's a, it's most of us.

Chris Williamson 38:09 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 38:09 And it's definitely more than previous generations, or at least, or, or, or my gran is very, very private about her rimming schedule.

Chris Williamson 38:15 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 38:16 But I, uh, I originally do it just because, man, I, I don't have much fucking body hair. It's not who I am.

Chris Williamson 38:22 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 38:22 But for some reason, it just all coalesces on my arse and wiping's a nightmare.

Chris Williamson 38:27 It's like fucking Mordor-

Daniel Sloss 38:28 And you get-

Chris Williamson 38:28 ... down there, is it?

Daniel Sloss 38:28 And you get the fucking crack maggots, you know, when you're wiping-

Chris Williamson 38:30 Ugh.

Daniel Sloss 38:31 ... and then it sort of... Aye, and I was just like, it's... Just one point you scratch at something. It's that... It's gross. It's horrible.

Chris Williamson 38:36 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 38:36 Uh, and don't get me wrong, shaving your asshole is not a graceful process. There's no b- there's no good way to do it.

Chris Williamson 38:42 What's your technique?

Daniel Sloss 38:44 Uh, the shame squat. Shame squat.

Chris Williamson 38:46 Oh, is it-

Daniel Sloss 38:47 Shame squat in the shower.

Chris Williamson 38:48 ... in the, in the bath shower, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 38:49 Shame, shame squat in the shower. Holding the razor at the head-

Chris Williamson 38:53 Oh.

Daniel Sloss 38:53 ... just because you can and... Aye.

Chris Williamson 38:55 Oh.

Daniel Sloss 38:55 Just, it's re- it's a real gamble.

Chris Williamson 38:57 But it's a life-and-death situation every time.

Daniel Sloss 38:59 Mm-hmm.

Chris Williamson 38:59 The, the, you know, I mean, I w- I need to... I don't know whether you do as well, but I sometimes need to work myself up to it.

Daniel Sloss 39:04 Oh, uh-

Chris Williamson 39:05 When I know that, when I know that, like, asshole shaving day is coming in-

Daniel Sloss 39:07 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 39:07 ... I-

Daniel Sloss 39:07 It's, you gotta, y- y- you build up. You go for the shower, you treat yourself nice, maybe light some candles.

Chris Williamson 39:11 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 39:12 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 39:12 All right, we're gonna go for it. We're gonna, we, we, we, we, we.

Daniel Sloss 39:14 Right, it's, it's g- but I'm also of the thing, like, look, if I want somebody to stick their fucking tongue in my butt, I'm gonna give them the best butt to do that-

Chris Williamson 39:22 Exactly.

Daniel Sloss 39:23 ... with. It's gotta make sure it's clean. Like, it's the same thing, um, you know, uh, when it comes to sort of pubic and in general. I don't give a fuck where you have... You don't... I've always said I don't give a fuck whether you have body hair on your body, like, regardless of your gender. It's fucking your body, your choice. But just be a decent human being.

Chris Williamson 39:37 Groom.

Daniel Sloss 39:37 Like if, like if you're sitting there, you're like, "I'm a..." You're like, as if, if you... I've j- I've never sucked, I've never sucked a dick, so for the purposes of this analogy, I'm gonna be talking about pussies-

Chris Williamson 39:45 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 39:45 ... just because I have more experience in that, right? You can change the gender for whichever one takes your fancy, right? But you can be like, "Hey, I'm a woman, and, uh, we get hair down those places, and I'm not gonna shave my legs, and I'm not gonna, uh, shave my pits." I'm like, "Cool. I'm not licking your legs or your armpits."

Chris Williamson 40:01 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 40:02 "I'm licking your pussy." (laughs) Like, s- you know, and have hair up there, absolutely, but just, you know, in the same way that I shave my balls. I don't shave my pubes, but, you know, I make sure there's... 'Cause my balls are going in your mouth.

Chris Williamson 40:12 Yep.

Daniel Sloss 40:12 Don't want fucking hair in your mouth. That's weird. Unless you like that, in which case, fair play to you, but let me know and I'll stop shaving them.

Chris Williamson 40:18 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 40:18 But man, shaving your asshole, man. It's g- it's a game changer.

Chris Williamson 40:21 (coughs) .

Daniel Sloss 40:21 Working so much easier, you know.

Chris Williamson 40:23 It's the, the sheer difference in toilet paper usage and time.

Daniel Sloss 40:27 Yeah. It's so much it can... It's better for the environment. It's-

Chris Williamson 40:29 Do you wanna know what the equivalent is that we've found for shaving your asshole for shoes? Shoe horn, man. Anyone who's not using a shoe horn now, I implore you. If you're a fan of this channel, you will know exactly what I'm gonna say.

Daniel Sloss 40:40 Really?

Chris Williamson 40:40 Man, if you-

Daniel Sloss 40:41 Is there just a life hack that none of us know?

Chris Williamson 40:43 Oh, man. Everybody should know. Few things that everybody should do. Drive an automatic car, turn these sensors-

Daniel Sloss 40:48 Oh, disagree immediately.

Chris Williamson 40:50 Daniel, come on, mate. It was going so well.

Daniel Sloss 40:52 (laughs) I tell you, no, I'm... I just, I, I, I-

Chris Williamson 40:55 Look, so this leg-

Daniel Sloss 40:56 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 40:56 ... and this arm, they can just...

Daniel Sloss 40:59 Aye.

Chris Williamson 40:59 This entire left... In fact, this whole left side-

Daniel Sloss 41:01 Oh, sorry. Are you, are you tired whilst driving?

Chris Williamson 41:03 Yes, I am.

Daniel Sloss 41:04 (laughs)

Chris Williamson 41:04 And I want just, want to maximize, like a flamingo.

Daniel Sloss 41:07 Aye, right.

Chris Williamson 41:07 I want this entire side of my body to go-

Daniel Sloss 41:09 Just in case, whilst driving, I have a stroke-

Chris Williamson 41:11 (laughs) Yeah, the left-hand side of your body-

Daniel Sloss 41:12 ... I wanna make, I wanna make, I wanna make sure there's nothing on the left is... "What if you have a stroke on your right side?" Well, I guess I'm fucked then.

Chris Williamson 41:18 Fucked.

Daniel Sloss 41:18 I'm just fucked. (laughs) Nah, it is, it's-

Chris Williamson 41:22 Come on, why, why manual car?

Daniel Sloss 41:23 There's a, there's a... Well, you know what? I know I'm wrong. There's an amazing comedian called, uh, Nick Cody, who's got a... And he drives an automatic car, and his argument is... I have no rebuttal towards it. It's j- j- just, you know, it's t- it's 2000 and fucking, uh, it's 2019, right? Why don't you go churn your own fucking butter?

Chris Williamson 41:40 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 41:40 Like, it's just, there's easier option exists. Why... For me, it's overtaking. Like-

Chris Williamson 41:45 You wanna dump it, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 41:46 Every, every, every time I d- I just... You slam down the thing and the car goes, "Fifth gear," and you're like, "Second, second, second!"

Chris Williamson 41:52 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 41:53 Like, if you're coming down the fucking A1, right?

Chris Williamson 41:55 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 41:55 You know those, you know those roads where it's just like, like you gotta overtake these fucking lorries, man.

Chris Williamson 41:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Daniel Sloss 42:00 Like it's the fucking A1, it's a shite route.

Chris Williamson 42:01 Newcastle to Scotland speed style.

Daniel Sloss 42:03 Yeah, huge. Yeah. And when you go over... Like, if you're in a, if I'm in a manual car, I go, "Right, I need to be in third gear for this thing." So you come out third, whoom, straight round, right? You're in an automatic car and you go out the lane, he's like, "Do you wanna be in sixth gear?" "No, go to se- second." He's like, "Oh, thir- thir- fifth? Fifth?" And you're like, "Go, j- fast, fast, fast. I'm going to die."

Chris Williamson 42:22 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 42:22 And the guy's like, "I don't... Would you, would you..." Ugh. Yeah. I cannot-

Chris Williamson 42:25 Okay, so we've got, um, we'll agree to disagree on the automatic versus manual car.

Daniel Sloss 42:28 I mean, I know you're right. It's the future and I shouldn't be, you know, it's r-

Chris Williamson 42:32 You'll get, you'll get your, we'll convert you.

Daniel Sloss 42:33 It's the equi- it's, it's the car equivalent of vinyl.

Chris Williamson 42:36 (laughs) Oh, right. Yeah, you-

Daniel Sloss 42:37 It's absolutely-

Chris Williamson 42:38 You totally, like, it's just- it's just better.

Daniel Sloss 42:39 It's just- it's just there. It's just there.

Chris Williamson 42:40 Just better.

Daniel Sloss 42:41 A bit more control. You're like, "Oh, shut up and drive the automatic." I know I'm-

Chris Williamson 42:44 Y- y- you need a room- you need a room for your music.

Daniel Sloss 42:46 Aye.

Chris Williamson 42:46 Like, I've got have- have an iPod.

Daniel Sloss 42:47 It's one of those things where I know I'm wrong, but I'm not changing my opinion.

Chris Williamson 42:49 Fine. Um, so we've got shoe horn, we've got automatic car, turn the sensitivity up on the track pad on your MacBook. So turn it up to the highest it will be. Within a week, 10% more productive immediately. Promise you.

Daniel Sloss 43:01 Mm.

Chris Williamson 43:01 Yeah. Game changer. Um, and the f- the final one, mate, it's, you know, I ... Johnny, one of the co-hosts, actually even ... he moved back up, vertically integrated himself into his bowel movements, and went to develop a green smoothie on a morning, which means that he's just wipeless now. That his bowel movements are so consistent and so well-formed-

Daniel Sloss 43:24 Mm.

Chris Williamson 43:24 ... they're absolutely perfect every single time. And you're like, "Well, oh my God."

Daniel Sloss 43:29 (laughs)

Chris Williamson 43:29 Like, a single sheet. Do you know what I mean? Like it- like ...

Daniel Sloss 43:31 Aye.

Chris Williamson 43:31 Like, that's it.

Daniel Sloss 43:32 Just ... yeah, yeah, yeah. And not even double ply. You can see your finger through it.

Chris Williamson 43:35 Yeah. (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 43:35 And still, he- he does that gamble. Comforting.

Chris Williamson 43:37 Away it goes.

Daniel Sloss 43:38 Aye.

Chris Williamson 43:38 So I am going to move on to Mother Sloss and what she's given us. So she-

Daniel Sloss 43:42 Mama bear.

Chris Williamson 43:43 She's given us a number of options of things that I can ask you about, and I'm gonna ask you all of them, and then you can- you can choose.

Daniel Sloss 43:50 Okay.

Chris Williamson 43:51 So robot wars and the pregnant washing up story.

Daniel Sloss 43:56 Oh, yeah.

Chris Williamson 43:57 Um, or the cans of deodorant story.

Daniel Sloss 44:02 Oh, yeah.

Chris Williamson 44:03 Or rapping Shakespeare. Or at the age of 13, he drew his first graphic novel based on his baby brother called My Life with Hitler.

Daniel Sloss 44:15 My Life with Satan.

Chris Williamson 44:16 Oh. (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 44:17 (laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I would ... I- I'll happily compare my ... I'll happily compare my three-year-old brother to, uh, Satan, but he was definitely not Hitleresque. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 44:25 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 44:25 Like, no, like his first steps weren't fucking goose steps. Like it wasn't ... (laughs)

Chris Williamson 44:30 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 44:31 Like, the fact that she thinks it's ... Mom, pay attention, would you? Come on. It was definitely my life with Satan, yeah. Um, I fucking hate my younger brother, man.

Chris Williamson 44:38 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 44:38 Hate him so ... I hate him so much. He was a little shit 'cause of the age gap, 'cause my, uh ... so, uh, when I was eight years old, uh, my six-year-old sister dies.

Chris Williamson 44:47 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 44:47 Uh, and, uh, that's what my show Dark is, uh, sort of about.

Chris Williamson 44:51 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 44:51 Uh, so there was a huge age gap between us. My brother was born when I was 10 years old.

Chris Williamson 44:55 Yup.

Daniel Sloss 44:55 And he was born then. So there's a ... when I was going ... when I was 13 years old, he was three. And fuck, he sucked. I hate him. I was so annoyed.

Chris Williamson 45:02 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 45:03 And I ... and in hindsight, I know he was ... to everything he was doing, he was just trying to get my atten- And my parents said this to me all the time. They were like, "He's just trying to annoy you as- because it's the only time you ever pay him attention."

Chris Williamson 45:13 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 45:13 "He doesn't care if you're yelling at him or being mean to him. You're his older brother, and he loves you, and he wants you to pay attention to him, even if it's yelling."

Chris Williamson 45:20 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 45:20 "So just be nice to him, and he'll not annoy you." And I would go, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la. I'm 13, I know much fucking better." Um, but he was a g- he was an evil little fucking genius, man. To this day, my mother doesn't believe this story, and I fucking swear to God it's true.

Chris Williamson 45:33 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 45:33 Matthew used to carry round, uh, a bucket full of dummies, right? He loved- loved his dummies. Like, he called them me's. Couldn't say dummy, uh, whether ... you know, he just couldn't say ... he- he called them his me's, and he had this bucket full of me's. And he would just walk around like a f- you know, and he would ... every minute he would change it to a Thomas the Tank Engine one, to a Peppa Pig, to fucking whatever. He'd have this bucket full of me's. One day, I'm sat down, uh, watching TV, and he- he walks into the room, just his fucking big, fat tod- toddler ba- belly hanging out. I think he's two and a half at this point. And he sees me, and I'm like, "Here we fucking go." Like, uh, like, he's gonna do something to annoy me, and I'm gonna push him over because I'm a horrible big brother. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 46:08 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 46:08 And he comes up to me, and he takes his- he takes his dummy out of his mouth, and he hands it to me. And I'm ... you know, and my mom and dad have always been like, "Could you be nicer to your brother?" And I was like, "Oh, okay. He- that's something nice."

Chris Williamson 46:18 Mm-hmm.

Daniel Sloss 46:18 "I'll positively reinforce this behavior." So he gave me the dummy. I was like, "Thank you very much, Matthew. That's very, very kind of you." And I go back to watching TV, and he stands there for like two minutes just calculating, right? And I know you'd be like, "Two-year-old can't calculate." He fucking calculated, man.

Chris Williamson 46:34 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 46:34 He saw all the cogs just thinking, thinking. And then he gave me the full bucket of all the other dummies, and I was like, "Thank you, Matthew. This is very, very kind of you." And then he took in a huge inhaler breath and screamed the fucking house down.

Chris Williamson 46:48 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 46:48 My mom comes in to me holding his dummy and his buckets of dummies-

Chris Williamson 46:53 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 46:53 ... while he's fucking crying, right? And she's like, "Why did you do ... " I'm like, "I t- he gave them to me."

Chris Williamson 46:59 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 46:59 She's like, "Why is he crying then?" And I'm like, "You fucking little shit."

Chris Williamson 47:04 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 47:04 Um, and she still doesn't believe that. I swear to God that is true. He's a hor- ... I love him though. I mean, I loved him then. But yeah. Yeah, that was-

Chris Williamson 47:12 Labor of love.

Daniel Sloss 47:13 Yeah, yeah. That was my- that was ... yeah. So I've wr- started writing comics, um, on it. I was- I was terrible at drawing. I just ... I liked doing anything to make my parents laugh when I was young. When I was more-

Chris Williamson 47:20 Mm-hmm. What's the pregnant washing machine? Or the- the- the-

Daniel Sloss 47:24 Uh-

Chris Williamson 47:24 ... pregnant washing up story?

Daniel Sloss 47:25 So when, uh, my mother was pregnant with, uh, I think it was Jack. It was either Jack or Matthew. This is my father's third or fourth child at this point, right? So my mom's eight months pregnant and, uh, she- she doesn't fucking snap. My dad's e- my dad's l- not maliciously lazy. He's just sometimes f- forgetful or just a bit like ... he- he works all day when he comes home, he doesn't want to necessarily, you know, do something. But he's got no legs to stand on 'cause my mom works all day and still does chores around the fucking house, so she's in the right. And she's also pregnant at this point in her life. So she sort of goes to my dad and she's like, "Can you just be a bit more useful? I know you're, you know, just be a bit ..." I'm fucking pregnant. There's some stuff I physically can no longer do anymore. Like I fu- like ...

Chris Williamson 48:07 Eight months pregnant is like y- You're like a globe.

Daniel Sloss 48:10 Yeah, exactly. It's-

Chris Williamson 48:11 You're totally spherical.

Daniel Sloss 48:12 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 48:12 Yeah.

Daniel Sloss 48:12 And she's like, "I can't do the dishes anymore." Like, physically, like-

Chris Williamson 48:15 Ah.

Daniel Sloss 48:16 ... I can't.

Chris Williamson 48:16 Because the ...

Daniel Sloss 48:17 'Cause I've ... there's a f- your fucking baby is in the ... I can't ...

Chris Williamson 48:21 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 48:21 And she goes, "Could you just make my life a little bit easier?" And, uh, that night while she was sleeping, my dad welded a semicircle into the sink so that she could get in s-

Chris Williamson 48:31 Oh my God.

Daniel Sloss 48:32 Which is ... yeah.

Chris Williamson 48:34 Wow.

Daniel Sloss 48:35 Mm.

Chris Williamson 48:36 I mean, that is-

Daniel Sloss 48:36 A level of pettiness I aspire to. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 48:39 Unbelievable. I- I'm a-

Daniel Sloss 48:40 Yeah.

Chris Williamson 48:40 ... I'm actually really-

Daniel Sloss 48:41 Yeah, yeah.

Chris Williamson 48:41 ... really impressed.

Daniel Sloss 48:42 Yeah. No, she gave- she fucking beat the shit out of him fairly.

Chris Williamson 48:44 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 48:44 She absolutely shunned him. (laughs)

Chris Williamson 48:46 Man, Daniel, I- I've absolutely loved today. Thank you very much.

Daniel Sloss 48:49 It's been great fun. Thank you very much for having me on.

Chris Williamson 48:51 Thank you very much for coming on. Um, can you tell the listeners where they can find you online and what shows you're gonna be doing, where you're gonna be soon?

Daniel Sloss 48:56 Uh, so you can, uh ... I would v- across the board, I would just recommend going onto Netflix. Uh, I've got two, uh, Netflix specials on there. They're called Daniel Sloss Live Shows. First one's called Dark, the second one's called Jigsaw. Uh, if you enjoy those specials, uh, I'm on tour literally everywhere in the world.

Chris Williamson 49:12 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 49:12 Um, go onto danielsloss.com. And if you don't enjoy the specials, cool. Don't let me know. I don't need to know.

Chris Williamson 49:19 (laughs)

Daniel Sloss 49:20 Uh, I don't need to know. I have no interest in you if you find me crap. Just move on, forget me. I'll forget you. Peace and love.

Chris Williamson 49:27 Man, thank you very much for your time.

Daniel Sloss 49:28 Okay, mate.

Chris Williamson 49:28 It's been awesome.

Daniel Sloss 49:29 No, cheers.

Chris Williamson 49:33 (singing) Love wins. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Love wins.