Modern WisdomWhy Does Time Pass More Quickly As You Get Older? | Laura Vanderkam
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 1:31
Time is a choice: replacing “I don’t have time” with “It’s not a priority”
Laura opens with an early interview that shaped her entire philosophy of time management: how we talk about time reveals what we truly value. Reframing “no time” as “not a priority” makes tradeoffs explicit and restores a sense of agency.
- •A high-achieving mother/business owner frames every commitment as a choice
- •“I don’t have time” often masks reluctance or low priority (e.g., flossing)
- •Language change forces honesty about priorities and tradeoffs
- •Owning priorities reduces vague guilt and helplessness
- 1:31 – 5:05
Why time feels so hard: it keeps passing whether you plan it or not
Chris asks why time is uniquely challenging, and Laura explains that time is easy to spend mindlessly because it’s always moving. The hopeful part: everyone gets the same 24 hours, so learning allocation strategies is broadly transferable.
- •Time passes regardless of attention, so mindless spending is common
- •Conscious time choices require more deliberate effort than many decisions
- •Everyone has 24 hours/day and 168 hours/week—no one gets more time
- •Studying how high performers allocate hours can reveal usable patterns
- 5:05 – 6:26
Start with data: tracking a week of time to see reality vs. stories
Laura recommends tracking your time for a week to replace feelings-based narratives with accurate data. A simple time diary reveals hidden drains and surprising time pockets, enabling targeted change.
- •Track for a week because it reflects the true cycle of life
- •Most people misperceive where their 168 hours go
- •Fatigue and stress distort time stories; data corrects them
- •Reliable measurement helps identify what’s truly taking time
- 6:26 – 8:56
A practical system for time logging (and what it reveals)
Laura describes her half-hour spreadsheet method and how minimal effort yields high clarity. The payoff is learning concrete averages (sleep, driving, work) and making intentional adjustments from a baseline.
- •Half-hour blocks across the week (5:00 AM to 4:30 AM)
- •Quick check-ins 3–4 times/day; only a few minutes total
- •Prevents self-deception about workload and time use
- •Reveals surprises (e.g., car time adds up even without a commute)
- 8:56 – 12:03
Time mindfulness: intentional planning that makes days feel abundant
They explore what “using time well” looks like in practice: pre-deciding where energy goes and planning leisure deliberately. People who feel most relaxed about time tend to do something meaningfully “different” even on an ordinary Monday.
- •People who use time well are intentional, not accidental
- •Protecting prime energy (e.g., morning exercise, Monday deep work)
- •Planning prevents mornings from dissolving into email/meetings
- •Interesting leisure (even small adventures) correlates with time abundance
- 12:03 – 15:05
Why time speeds up as you age: routines erase memories
Laura explains that the sensation of time accelerating comes from fewer distinct memories being formed. When days blur together, they vanish in retrospect; making days more differentiable thickens time in memory.
- •Perceived time is shaped by memory density, not clock speed
- •Adult routines reduce distinct markers that form recallable memories
- •“Where did the time go?” often means “I don’t remember it”
- •Prompt: ask “Why is today different from other days?”
- 15:05 – 16:30
How time compresses: the commute example and protecting changeable blocks
Repeated experiences compress into a single memory, like thousands of commute hours becoming ‘one drive’ in the mind. Since some routines must stay fixed, the leverage is in varying the parts of life you can change.
- •Repetition collapses many hours into one mental ‘event’
- •Commutes exemplify unavoidable sameness that disappears in memory
- •Focus on making flexible parts of the day more novel or social
- •Introduce variety via lunch, projects, evenings, and weekends
- 16:30 – 20:05
Novelty vs. intensity: two levers that expand time in memory
They distinguish between novelty (new experiences) and intensity (emotionally charged or challenging moments) as memory builders. Travel combines both, which explains why vacations feel long and vivid compared to routine weeks.
- •Novelty creates new memory encoding; intensity strengthens it
- •First-time experiences (common in youth) explain vivid early memories
- •Do ‘slightly scary’ things (speeches, new challenges) for intensity
- •Vacations feel longer because they pack many new events rapidly
- 20:05 – 24:29
The remembering, present, and anticipating selves—and why we “pamper” the present
Laura introduces the three-selves model: we optimize for immediate comfort at the expense of future memories. Respecting the anticipating and remembering selves helps override the present self’s desire for effortless default choices.
- •Kahneman’s remembering vs. experiencing self, plus an ‘anticipating’ self
- •Present self defaults to ease (TV, scrolling) even if it’s forgettable
- •Planning commits you past momentary fatigue
- •Heuristic: you’ll get to bedtime either way—choose the better story
- 24:29 – 26:51
Stretching pleasure: why anticipation can be better than the vacation itself
They discuss how pre-committing to events amplifies enjoyment via anticipation. Because humans can’t sustain perfect bliss in the moment, looking forward can deliver outsized happiness per hour spent.
- •Booking ahead generates long-lasting anticipation benefits
- •Research suggests people are happiest before a vacation
- •In-the-moment attention is disrupted by minor discomforts (“toe itches”)
- •Commitments also bypass the present self’s resistance
- 26:51 – 28:39
Savoring time: making good moments slow down
Laura explains savoring as actively noticing and naming enjoyment to strengthen encoding. By articulating what’s great in real time—like a mountain summit—you build richer memories and a slower-feeling experience.
- •Bad times feel slow; savoring helps good times feel slower too
- •Say (out loud if needed): “I’m having a great time right now”
- •Lock in sensory details, emotions, and context to strengthen recall
- •Savoring turns short peak moments into large mental ‘chapters’
- 28:39 – 32:09
Presence isn’t a paradox: use past/future framing to deepen the moment
Chris raises the tension between being present and being meta-aware; Laura argues they can reinforce each other. The key is avoiding unhelpful mental drift (bills, errands) and instead connecting the moment to meaning over time.
- •Thinking about future reflection can deepen present significance
- •Anticipation adds joy without reducing present enjoyment
- •Avoid intrusive, actionless worries that steal attention
- •Mindfulness = directing thoughts to what enriches the experience
- 32:09 – 40:51
Long-term view of a full life: family responsibilities, productivity culture, and meaningful use of downtime
The conversation turns to broader life design—balancing responsibilities, resisting ‘more productivity to do more work,’ and choosing meaningful activities. Laura emphasizes systems that make better defaults easy, like having good books ready for low-energy time.
- •Taking the long-term view reframes hard seasons (e.g., parenting)
- •Critique of hustle culture: productivity shouldn’t just create more work
- •Women’s perspective brings ‘whole life’ time management into focus
- •Use low-energy time intentionally (e.g., reading vs. random browsing)
- 40:51 – 54:15
Time abundance comes from people: relationships, effortful fun, and making plans real
Laura shares findings from her time diary studies: those who feel most time-abundant spend more leisure time with friends and family, while low-abundance scorers watch more TV. Creating social connection takes effort, but yields the most memorable, satisfying time.
- •High time-abundance correlates with more in-person interaction
- •Television-heavy leisure correlates with lower time-abundance feelings
- •Social time is more engaging and memory-rich than passive entertainment
- •Effortful fun beats effortless fun for a memorable life
- 54:15 – 58:24
Memory can be sharpened after the fact: artifacts, photos, music cues, and resources
Laura discusses memory research (including Lila Davachi’s work) suggesting memories aren’t fixed at the moment they occur—they can be strengthened later. Simple practices like reviewing photos, talking about events, or using music as a cue can make experiences more retrievable and lasting.
- •Wanting more time often means wanting more memories
- •Post-event reinforcement can strengthen and sharpen recall
- •Use photos, conversation, souvenirs/receipts, and sensory cues (music/smell)
- •Wrap-up resources: Laura’s site, books, and the ‘Before Breakfast’ podcast
