Why Nobody Feels Loved Anymore - Sonja Lyubomirsky

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

June 25, 2026

Duration

1h 11m

Channel

Modern Wisdom

Watch on YouTube

▶ Open ↗

📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a psychologist, professor, and author. What does it really mean to feel loved? People say "I love you" all the time, but why doesn't it always register? Why can someone love you deeply, yet you still don't feel it? What does real love actually feel like? Expect to learn if there is a commonality between all of the happiness interventions out there, why feeling loved is important, how self-esteem and self-love are related, why having a sharing mindset is so important, what it actually means to be understood, the things that make you happier you might be overlooking, and much more... - Get up to $350 off the Eight Sleep Pod 5 at https://eightsleep.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and your first month for free at https://join.whoop.com/modernwisdom Get 160+ lab tests for just $365 and save an extra $25 at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get ChatGPT to explore ideas, solve problems, and learn faster at ⁠https://chatgpt.com - 0:00 Why Do We Need to Feel Loved? 2:51 Don’t Spend Your Life Trying to Be Loveable 5:22 What It Really Means to Feel Loved 6:36 The Biggest Ways Push Love Away 9:39 Do Self-Esteem Interventions Exist? 13:43 Is Romantic Love the Most Important Type of Love? 16:20 The Words More Powerful Than ‘I Love You’ 18:10 Why Receiving Love Is a Skill 19:24 The Importance of a Sharing Mindset 24:35 Are Vulnerable People More Likeable? 30:09 Why Validation Changes Everything 32:54 Is Therapy Speak Helping or Hurting? 36:59 We Need to Ask Deeper Questions 40:03 Why Multiplicity Can Be So Hard 44:07 The Strongest Predictors of Relationship Success 48:51 Should Everything Be Reciprocal? 55:24 The Habits That Make You Feel Loved 58:34 The Most Fascinating Study Sonja Has Conducted 01:01:17 Is This the Best Definition For Introvert and Extrovert? 01:05:23 The Biggest Misconception About Happiness 01:08:56 What Should We Prioritise to Be Happy? 01:11:19 Where to Find Sonja - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spotify.modernwisdom.com or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.modernwisdom.com Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Chris Williamson

  host

  Host of the Modern Wisdom podcast and interviewer covering psychology, culture, and self-improvement.

• Sonja Lyubomirsky

  guest

  Experimental social psychologist and happiness researcher (UC Riverside) known for evidence-based happiness interventions and author of relationship/wellbeing books.

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Modern Wisdom, featuring Chris Williamson and Sonja Lyubomirsky, Why Nobody Feels Loved Anymore - Sonja Lyubomirsky explores Feeling loved requires being known, connected, and open to receiving Most effective happiness interventions (gratitude, kindness, socializing) work largely because they increase felt connection and the sense of being loved.

🔗 RELATED EPISODES

Black Holes, Denny’s Fist Fights, Japanese Handjob Culture & Microplastics - Rabbit Hole #4

33 Brutal Truths To Stop Wasting Your Potential - Alex Hormozi

Raw Truths From The Brink Of Death – Ben Askren

The Collapse of American Politics - Ezra Klein

"Women Work So Hard For Lives They Don’t Want" - Suzanne Venker

“Navy SEALs Are Not Normal People” - DJ Shipley