172 - Esther Perel: Trauma, how narratives shape our worldview, and accepting uncomfortable emotions

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

August 16, 2021

Duration

2h 22m

Channel

Peter Attia MD

Watch on YouTube

▶ Open ↗

📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Sign up to receive Peter's email newsletter: https://bit.ly/4c602k2 Show notes page for this episode: https://bit.ly/3HkzFFT Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author who is an expert on modern relationships. In this episode, Esther describes how being a child of parents who narrowly survived the Holocaust shaped and influenced her perspectives and ultimately led to her to a career in therapy. She discusses how the generational differences in parenting, among other things, led to the rise of individualism with a focus on happiness and self-esteem to the detriment of our relationships and sense of community. Ultimately, the conversation focuses on the value of our relationships with others for one’s sense of wellbeing, ability to deal with past trauma, resilience, and even our lifespan. She uses real world case studies to emphasize the therapeutic value of creating healthy relationships with others and oneself, explaining how our relationships with others can be a mirror into our own maladaptive behaviors. Esther explains how our self-narratives, which are often shaped by past trauma, may negatively impact our relationships with others and our emotional health, and emphasizes the value in trying to change them when warranted. We discuss: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:10 - Esther’s background, adventures in hitchhiking, and how she ended up in the US 00:07:35 - The lasting effects of the Holocaust on Esther’s parents 00:17:21 - Grappling with a dark past and feeling alive again after trauma 00:24:28 - How Esther came to understand her parents in a new light 00:32:19 - Why Esther chose therapy as her career 00:43:57 - Using the concept of sexuality to understand society, culture, and people 00:53:46 - The significance of sexual revolutions, and the similarities of medical advancements and advancements in psychotherapy 01:03:18 - The impact of the rise of individualism and the focus on happiness and self-esteem 01:17:13 - Generational differences in parenting and changing role of fathers 01:28:07 - How our narratives affect our sense of wellbeing and relationships with others, and the challenge of changing them 01:43:20 - Generational effects of past trauma, and how relationships to others can be a mirror into your maladaptive behavior 01:54:25 - The role of willpower in one’s ability change their behavior and improve their relationships 01:58:44 - How your relationships impact longevity and the importance of being capable of sitting in uncomfortable emotions 02:06:28 - Esther’s definition of resilience and the dangers of believing everything you think or feel 02:15:13 - Questions about the human condition that Esther wants to explore -------- About: The Peter Attia Drive is a weekly, ultra-deep-dive podcast focusing on maximizing health, longevity, critical thinking…and a few other things. With over 35 million episodes downloaded, it features topics including fasting, ketosis, Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, mental health, and much more. Peter is a physician focusing on the applied science of longevity. His practice deals extensively with nutritional interventions, exercise physiology, sleep physiology, emotional and mental health, and pharmacology to increase lifespan (delay the onset of chronic disease), while simultaneously improving healthspan (quality of life). Learn more: https://bit.ly/3zcpEaX Subscribe to receive exclusive subscriber-only content: https://bit.ly/32G0mpA Sign up to receive Peter's email newsletter: https://bit.ly/3JtxHoq Connect with Peter on: Facebook: http://bit.ly/PeterAttiaMDFB Twitter: http://bit.ly/PeterAttiaMDTW Instagram: http://bit.ly/PeterAttiaMDIG Subscribe to The Drive: Apple Podcast: http://bit.ly/TheDriveApplePodcasts Overcast: http://bit.ly/TheDriveOvercast Spotify: http://bit.ly/TheDriveSpotify Google Podcasts: http://bit.ly/TheDriveGoogle

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Peter Attia

  host

  Physician and host of The Drive podcast focused on longevity and health.

• Esther Perel

  guest

  Psychotherapist and author known for her work on relationships, sexuality, and trauma (e.g., 'Mating in Captivity').

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Peter Attia MD, featuring Peter Attia and Esther Perel, 172 - Esther Perel: Trauma, how narratives shape our worldview, and accepting uncomfortable emotions explores esther Perel on Trauma, Narratives, Relationships, and Sitting With Discomfort Perel describes growing up as the daughter of two Polish Holocaust survivors in Belgium, and attributes their resilience to luck, a will to live with dignity, a sense of purpose, and above all a strong community.

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