Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway Play The Newlywed Game | Pivot

It's a special Valentine's Day treat for Pivot fans! Kara and Scott are playing The Newlywed Game, with guest host George Hahn (channeling Bob Eubanks). Which Big Tech CEO was Kara's rumored sperm donor? Where was Scott conceived? And what TV couple do they most resemble? Get ready to feel the love (and lack of sexual tension)... Producers: Zoë Marcus Lara Naaman Video Editor: Ronnie Polidoro Vox Media's Executive Producer of Podcasts: Nishat Kurwa Subscribe to Pivot on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pivot/id1073226719 Subscribe to Pivot on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4MU3RFGELZxPT9XHVwTNPR Follow us on Instagram and Threads at: https://www.instagram.com/pivotpodcastofficial/ Follow us on Bluesky at: https://bsky.app/profile/pivotpod.bsky.social Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@PIVOTPODCAST Send us your questions by calling us at 855-51-PIVOT, or email pivot@voxmedia.com

Kara SwisherhostScott GallowayhostGeorge Hahnguest

Feb 14, 20269mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

10 min read · 2,040 words

0:00 – 0:47
Valentine’s Day setup: Pivot plays The Newlywed Game with George Hahn
1. KSKara Swisher
  Hi, everyone. It's Valentine's Day, and Scott and I have a little treat for our Pivot fans. Do you know what's happening, Scott?
2. SGScott Galloway
  I don't know what's going on here. [laughing]
3. KSKara Swisher
  We're playing The Newlywed Game! [game show music] That's right, our producers have put together-
4. SGScott Galloway
  [laughing]
5. KSKara Swisher
  -some questions for us, and we'll see how well we know. We have a special guest ask us questions. It's, uh, Fresca von Cameltoe-
6. GHGeorge Hahn
  [laughing]
7. SGScott Galloway
  [laughing]
8. KSKara Swisher
  -also known as George Hahn.
9. GHGeorge Hahn
  It's Bob Eubanks to you, pal.
10. SGScott Galloway
  In the butt. In the butt.
11. GHGeorge Hahn
  Of course, that's where you go. All right, well, we're gonna do some... I'm, I'm step- I've always wanted to be Bob Eubanks. I always thought he was low-key '70s game show hot anyway, so this is fun.
12. SGScott Galloway
  Fucking guy.
13. KSKara Swisher
  In other words, you'd fuck him. Go ahead.
14. GHGeorge Hahn
  Totally. All right, I'm gonna start with Scott here.
15. SGScott Galloway
  Okay.
0:47 – 1:37
Arrest records (and dad jokes): Kara’s rap sheet vs. Scott’s clean slate
1. GHGeorge Hahn
  The first question for you: How many times has Kara been arrested?
2. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, that's easy, twice. [bell dings]
3. GHGeorge Hahn
  Yeah.
4. KSKara Swisher
  That's correct. [laughing] That is correct.
5. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah, but, um, uh, but just so you know, from- I don't want anyone to think I don't take Valentine's Day seriously with Kara. Last week, I bought her a, a belt and a bag, and now her vacuum works perfectly.
6. GHGeorge Hahn
  [laughing]
7. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing]
8. SGScott Galloway
  A little dad joke, a little dad humor.
9. KSKara Swisher
  Oh.
10. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah, she's been arrested twice.
11. GHGeorge Hahn
  She's a full-on ex-con. She's got a rap sheet longer than the A-train.
12. KSKara Swisher
  That's amazing, Scott! You listen to me. I have, I've been arrested twice.
13. SGScott Galloway
  Well, here's the problem: I'm turning into a lesbian, which means we'll get divorced.
14. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing]
15. SGScott Galloway
  When you have two people listening in a marriage, not good.
16. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing] Okay.
17. SGScott Galloway
  Not good. I own this game right now. I'm great at this. How many times have I been arrested?
18. KSKara Swisher
  I don't know. I don't know.
19. SGScott Galloway
  Never.
20. KSKara Swisher
  Never. None.
21. SGScott Galloway
  Zero.
22. KSKara Swisher
  Yeah, none.
23. SGScott Galloway
  I've never had any interactions with the law whatsoever.
1:37 – 2:31
Where Scott was conceived: narrowing it down to Toronto
1. GHGeorge Hahn
  Amateur. All right, Kara, you're up. Where was Scott conceived?
2. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, he always takes... His dad takes him there to, and shows him the place.
3. SGScott Galloway
  You care.
4. KSKara Swisher
  In-
5. SGScott Galloway
  You care
6. KSKara Swisher
  ... in Sc- in Scotland. In Scotland. They, he pointed-
7. GHGeorge Hahn
  Ooh.
8. KSKara Swisher
  No, wait, no, no, no, no, no, Montr- no, no, it's another country. It's, um-
9. GHGeorge Hahn
  [laughing]
10. KSKara Swisher
  It's Montreal. It's Montreal. It's Montreal or Toronto.
11. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah.
12. KSKara Swisher
  It's Canada.
13. SGScott Galloway
  Does your child need ADHD drugs? Listen to her right now. My God. [laughing]
14. KSKara Swisher
  'Cause he always... His, his dad used to take him and said, "That's where you were conceived."
15. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah.
16. KSKara Swisher
  Like, it's, it's in Canada. It's either Montreal or Toronto, I, I, I... One of those two cities there.
17. SGScott Galloway
  You gotta say Toronto, though. It's Toronto.
18. KSKara Swisher
  Toronto. Toronto.
19. SGScott Galloway
  Toronto.
20. KSKara Swisher
  Yeah.
21. SGScott Galloway
  No, no T, Toronto.
22. KSKara Swisher
  Toronto. Toronto.
23. GHGeorge Hahn
  Oh, they blow off the T?
24. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah.
25. GHGeorge Hahn
  Is that how they do it?
26. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah, Toronto.
27. KSKara Swisher
  Toronto.
28. GHGeorge Hahn
  Toronto.
29. KSKara Swisher
  Yeah, yeah.
30. SGScott Galloway
  Mm.
2:31 – 4:05
Rumored sperm donor gossip: the New York Post, Bezos, and Big Tech jokes
1. GHGeorge Hahn
  All right, next question, I'm gonna send it back to Scott here. Scott, which tech mogul was rumored to be Kara's sperm donor? I got my theory.
2. SGScott Galloway
  I mean, just the obvious one would be Musk. I'm trying to think if it would be anybody else. I don't know. It's so funny, I just spent some time with Kara's ex, and Kara and her ex look so much like their kids, and I still can't figure out the mechanics, like, who's giving sperm and eggs to who.
3. KSKara Swisher
  Yeah.
4. SGScott Galloway
  But-
5. KSKara Swisher
  Nobody. I was pregnant, Scott. Oh, my God. All right, do you know who this is?
6. SGScott Galloway
  By the way, I think, I think you should have the right to do that. I'm, I'm really happy about that. Um-
7. KSKara Swisher
  Okay.
8. SGScott Galloway
  Uh, who, what tech mogul?
9. KSKara Swisher
  It was in the New York Post. There was a big story about it.
10. SGScott Galloway
  It's gonna be your, um... I have no idea.
11. KSKara Swisher
  It's in my book, so that means you didn't read my book, but [laughing] ...
12. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, no, I read it twice. I just read it so much, I, I... It started to blend together. I thought it was so bad, I started buying them and sending them to enemies. Um-
13. KSKara Swisher
  All right, I'm gonna help you here. He looks like a penis, a small one.
14. SGScott Galloway
  A small, bald man. I don't know. [buzzer] Who is it?
15. KSKara Swisher
  Who is a small, bald man of Big Tech?
16. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, Bezos was your, gonna be your donor?
17. KSKara Swisher
  No, he wasn't! People... It got in the New York Post because he asked me how, at a party, and someone overheard it, and they gave it to the New York Post.
18. SGScott Galloway
  Ah, you leaked that in hopes of, like, juicing-
19. KSKara Swisher
  I did not
20. SGScott Galloway
  ... your latest book. Burn book.
21. KSKara Swisher
  I did not.
22. GHGeorge Hahn
  I'm surprised... Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't keep it in the gay house with Peter Thiel.
23. KSKara Swisher
  Ooh, oh, no, no. Also, Bezos was too short. I'll be honest with you, that I told him that. I was like, [laughing] "You're not tall enough," so.
24. GHGeorge Hahn
  Thiel always looks like he's in between sessions in a dungeon.
25. KSKara Swisher
  Ugh! Oh, my God. I'd be like Rosemary's Baby if it was Thiel.
4:05 – 5:00
Hypothetical donor draft: Kara picks “Hans” (and rejects famous options)
1. SGScott Galloway
  Whose sperm would you pick? What tech exec's sperm would you pick?
2. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, if I had to?
3. SGScott Galloway
  Who has the best genetics? Tim Cook has good hair.
4. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, no. I'd have to talk to him. No. See, do I have to talk to them or never see them again?
5. SGScott Galloway
  Uh, no, never see them again. No woman I've ever deposited sperm with speaks to me again.
6. KSKara Swisher
  There's a person, I'm not gonna say his name, 'cause he's not really well known.
7. SGScott Galloway
  [laughing] Thank you, George. That was funny. You missed that, Kara.
8. KSKara Swisher
  I, what did I hear?
9. GHGeorge Hahn
  Scott, you're the gayest straight man. Your behavior is so gay for a straight man.
10. SGScott Galloway
  That's what my ex used to say, "Gay by day, straight by night." It all works for me.
11. GHGeorge Hahn
  That's right, baby.
12. KSKara Swisher
  Actually, I will say his name, who I would've. This guy named Hans Peter Bromo.
13. SGScott Galloway
  The hills are alive! [laughing]
14. KSKara Swisher
  He's a telecom exec, and he's stunning. [laughing] He's from Norway, and he's great. He's a great guy.
15. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah, the Von Trapp family?
16. KSKara Swisher
  So Hans Peter. Yes, and he's a sweetheart, so I would've picked him. I would pick Hans. Not people know, but of the famous ones, zero. I'd say zero.
17. SGScott Galloway
  All right.
18. KSKara Swisher
  I'm trying to think. All right, go ahead.
5:00 – 5:45
When Scott was happiest: Pivot days vs. parenting anxiety
1. GHGeorge Hahn
  Now, Kara, this one's yours. The next question, this is a deep one: When was Scott at his happiest?
2. KSKara Swisher
  [scoffs] What? When, when was Scott at his happiest?
3. GHGeorge Hahn
  When was Scott at his happiest?
4. SGScott Galloway
  Or least miserable. You framed it correctly, by the way.
5. KSKara Swisher
  God. Well, when, when he's with me, obviously. When was he at his happiest? When he had a, a baby. When he had a ba-
6. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, God, no.
7. KSKara Swisher
  When he had his kid.
8. SGScott Galloway
  I hated having babies.
9. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing]
10. SGScott Galloway
  I felt nauseous.
11. KSKara Swisher
  I don't know. I don't know.
12. SGScott Galloway
  All I could think about was, "I don't have enough money."
13. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing] Oh, right. Okay.
14. SGScott Galloway
  I was like, "I don't have enough money. That nurse is hot. I don't have enough money. That nurse is hot. I don't have enough money."
15. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing] I don't know.
16. GHGeorge Hahn
  He's such a good guy.
17. KSKara Swisher
  When he's... Every time, every Monday and Thursday when we're taping Pivot, that's when he's at his most happiest.
18. SGScott Galloway
  I do like Pivot.
5:45 – 7:41
Which TV couple are they? Cheers, Fantasy Island, Heated Rivalry, and Veep comparisons
1. GHGeorge Hahn
  All right, Scott, your final question: Which TV couple does your relationship with Kara most resemble? Sam and Diane, Mr. Rourke and Tattoo, Shane and Ilya from Heated Rivalry, which is it?
2. KSKara Swisher
  ... Which one did I pick?
3. SGScott Galloway
  I would say, y- you would say Heated Rivalry, I would think. Um, oh, wait, who were the first ones?
4. KSKara Swisher
  Sam and Diane from Cheers.
5. SGScott Galloway
  Sam and Diane. No, Sam's nicer than both of us. Tattoo and [laughing] oh, God!
6. GHGeorge Hahn
  [laughing]
7. SGScott Galloway
  You're Irv and Elizia?
8. KSKara Swisher
  No, you're Irv and Elizia. [laughing]
9. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, my God, the plane! The plane.
10. GHGeorge Hahn
  And Mr. Rourke, another one who was, like, '70s hot.
11. KSKara Swisher
  I'm Boss, come on.
12. SGScott Galloway
  Who was the other one?
13. GHGeorge Hahn
  The guys from Heated Rivalry.
14. SGScott Galloway
  I'm gonna pick Heated Rivalry just 'cause you're all things gay.
15. KSKara Swisher
  Wrong! You're Tattoo, I'm Mr., uh-
16. SGScott Galloway
  No, but there is a... I'm serious, Door Four, D, is so perfect. Uh, in Veep, there's this foul-mouthed congressman-
17. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing]
18. SGScott Galloway
  ... and his lackey intern, and they just insult each other all day.
19. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing]
20. SGScott Galloway
  And in the last episode, the foul-mouthed, uh, GOP congressman is pushing the intern around in his wheelchair. Like, they've clearly been together for, like, 80 years. [laughing]
21. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing] That's about right.
22. SGScott Galloway
  And I think-
23. KSKara Swisher
  Yeah, I like it. Yeah.
24. SGScott Galloway
  I just know you're gonna be rolling me around in a wheelchair-
25. KSKara Swisher
  I am
26. SGScott Galloway
  ... barely able to see above the back of the wheelchair-
27. KSKara Swisher
  [laughing]
28. SGScott Galloway
  ... screaming up at people, and I'm just gonna be there, like, "When is she gonna take me home and reheat my soup?"
29. GHGeorge Hahn
  I think you guys are more like Sam and w- um, what's her name? Ah, Kirstie Alley.
30. KSKara Swisher
  Yeah, n- uh, Kirstie Alley. There's Sam and Diane, and then there's Sam and Kirstie Alley.
7:41 – 8:45
Craziest place Scott ‘made whoopee’: UCLA library incident and near-arrest
1. GHGeorge Hahn
  Last question. All right, this last question, Kara, this is for all the marbles here.
2. KSKara Swisher
  [chuckles]
3. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, God.
4. GHGeorge Hahn
  I didn't write these. Where is the craziest place Scott has ever made whoopee?
5. KSKara Swisher
  What? I don't know. W- everywhere he-
6. GHGeorge Hahn
  Did you never watch the w- the, The Newlywed Game, the actual one?
7. KSKara Swisher
  Yes, I did.
8. GHGeorge Hahn
  This is a legendary-
9. KSKara Swisher
  Where's he made... I know the whoopee part. I get the whoopee, [laughing] in the butt.
10. GHGeorge Hahn
  She actually said in the ass.
11. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, uh, where's the weirdest place? I don't know. I don't know that question. An- anywhere [laughing] he has sex must be quite something to watch. I've never seen that, though, by the way. I've never seen it.
12. GHGeorge Hahn
  Scott, where is the weirdest place, geographically or on your person?
13. SGScott Galloway
  I had to think about it. The weirdest place, or the p- the place that stands out, the first person I was, like, in love with and was in love with me, Melanie Kagan, we went... I thought it'd be cool, we used to study in Powell Library, and we thought, "Oh, it'll be fun to start fooling around in one of the conference rooms." And a security guard walked in, and we almost got arrested, and, like, she was worried she was gonna get kicked out of UCLA, and it spread like wildfire, and it was, like, a really ugly moment. And we weren't even, like, having sex. We were just kind of making out anyways.
14. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, that's good for you. Yeah.
15. SGScott Galloway
  Mm-hmm.
8:45 – 9:33
Wrap-up: arrests revisited and a Valentine’s Day message about getting it wrong
1. KSKara Swisher
  You remember, I got arrested, speak- oh, no!
2. SGScott Galloway
  Oh, for making out in a car, right?
3. KSKara Swisher
  Car.
4. GHGeorge Hahn
  Yeah.
5. KSKara Swisher
  That was the second time. Yeah.
6. GHGeorge Hahn
  Remember-
7. KSKara Swisher
  That's right
8. GHGeorge Hahn
  ... she's an ex-con.
9. SGScott Galloway
  Powell Library, Melanie Kagan. Yeah.
10. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, Melanie's gonna be thrilled. We're gonna have to have her at the next Pivot Tour [laughing] to-
11. SGScott Galloway
  [laughing] Oh, my God, she's lovely. She's lovely. She's lovely. First person who loves you, you'll love the rest of your life.
12. KSKara Swisher
  Oh, that's nice. That's lovely, Scott. All right, well, there you go.
13. GHGeorge Hahn
  Fantastic.
14. KSKara Swisher
  We sort of know each other, we, uh... But what we want to say is, uh, thank you, George. Uh, clearly, uh-
15. SGScott Galloway
  Yeah, that's nice
16. KSKara Swisher
  ... w- we know each other very well. We do, actually. Anyway, we wish everybody a happy Valentine's Day. What's really important is to learn things about each other and get it wrong and enjoy yourself anyway. [upbeat music]