PivotMelania Was MIA for a Month. Now That She's Back Does Anyone Care? | Pivot
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
60 min read · 12,382 words- 0:00 – 2:24
Intro
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Melania didn't want none of this shit.
- KSKara Swisher
She doesn't.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Melania thought she was gonna marry a rich dude who would sit in the corner and eat McDonald's while she go spends his money and bang yacht bros in Monaco on the side. [upbeat music]
- KSKara Swisher
Hi, everyone, this is Pivot from New York Magazine and the Vox Media Podcast Network. I'm Kara Swisher, and I'm kicking off yet another week of [upbeat music] Scott-Free August. [air horn blaring] I literally, I would play that all year if I could. Scott is still away, missing me terribly. Of course, he hasn't been in touch at all. He, of course, fancies himself a, a comedian, but for today's episode, I brought in the real deal, Roy Wood Jr., Emmy-winning comedian, actor, and producer, and host of CNN's satirical news quiz, which I've been on and will be on very soon, actually, "Have I Got News For You?" Welcome, Roy.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Thank you for having me. You know, and I know that Scott is listening to us in meta jail in the weight room right now.
- KSKara Swisher
[laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And I just wanna say to him, you only do two days, the day in and day out, you know? Tell the truth.
- KSKara Swisher
Well, he's, allegedly, he's on vacation, and, uh, but I, I don't know. I think he's, he's posting a lot more recently-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
[laughs]
- KSKara Swisher
... so he's obviously has to weigh in on the news. Like, he, he's dying 'cause Natalie Harp is happening right now, which is a problem for-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
How do you think I feel? CNN's had me dark for three months.
- KSKara Swisher
I know. That's true. [laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
You got Trump tapping dead people's caskets. You've got the... It's, it's been a lot. It's been a lot.
- KSKara Swisher
Explain the show. I love your show. I've been on it several times. I'll be on it really soon, in a couple of weeks, I think.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
It, for the people who haven't watched it, it's, for 30 years, this show has run in Britain, where the way they disseminate the news is they ask panelists que- It's a fake quiz show about current events, and you don't have to know shit. In fact, it's funnier if you don't. And by the end of the hour, you, me, Amber Ruffin, and Michael Ian Black, we have figured out everything this week. The way I try to differentiate where "Have I Got News" sits in the Oliver Daily Show-verse of political satire is that we are here to simply tell you what happened. We don't have the time to get into why and who and what is the solution and the deep dive. But then you
- 2:24 – 5:45
Bad Behavior at WNBA Games
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
also need to know that a dude got himself kicked out of a WNBA game.
- KSKara Swisher
Right. Right. Right.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And there was a green dildo.
- KSKara Swisher
Mm.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Like, we wanna-
- KSKara Swisher
You do need to know that
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... cover the gamut.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Of the-
- KSKara Swisher
Explain the green dildo. [laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I don't think as a man I can explain. I don't know.
- KSKara Swisher
Why green?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I don't know. Well, no, you know what? As a man, probably it is my responsibility. [laughs]
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, it is. Why-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
It ain't the women throwing them
- KSKara Swisher
... who would possess... Like, everyone's like, "Men in the, trans people in the WNBA." There's no trans people in the WN- There's just straight men throwing dildos. So that's the problem.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And then running.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Stand on it.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. Stand on it. Stand on it.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
If you gonna throw a dildo, just sta- "Hey, it was me."
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. Yeah. I-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
"I'd like to have a conversation about politics" stuff.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you ever throw a dildo? Have you thrown a dildo?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I don't know if I'd ever touch a dildo.
- KSKara Swisher
[laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Like, I, they just, they all f- they all look used.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
You know?
- KSKara Swisher
They probably were.
- 5:45 – 11:39
Satirizing the News
- KSKara Swisher
go back to your show. So you're just, so you, you, this is what, your third season, fourth season?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
This is, this will be number five.
- KSKara Swisher
Five? Oh, my God.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
When we come back in September-
- KSKara Swisher
Wow
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... this will be, this will be the fifth cycle of the show.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah, so I'm excited.
- KSKara Swisher
Well, I think it's doing really well. They wouldn't bring it back if it wasn't. But how do you, how do you, why, what do you attribute that to?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I think that we I d- number one, I think CNN is the right network for the show because we get to exist on a Saturday night, and they, they pair us with Bill Maher, or there's usually, like, a special interest story or something else going on on that day. I think that we are light, we are fun, we are fast through the topics, so you don't necessarily feel like you're consuming an entire meal.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, but I, I do think comedy has d- done, been a lot more pointed, whether it's Oliver or The Daily Show or you guys, than news programs to get to the point of the idiocy surrounding people.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah, I, because I think comedians are given a little bit more leeway than the average news anchor. You know, God forbid you call a spade a spade and you just work for a Sinclair outlet or something. You know, you working in market 12 or market 20, they're not gonna give you that leeway.
- KSKara Swisher
No.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And-
- KSKara Swisher
No, not at all
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... I think also it's understood that it's comedy because you know what's really funny is that I have said stuff on Friday night on Abby Phillip that gets me stared at.
- KSKara Swisher
Oh.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And then I'll do the same joke on Saturday-
- KSKara Swisher
Uh-huh
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... [laughs] on Have I Got News?
- KSKara Swisher
Right
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... and it gets an applause break.
- KSKara Swisher
Oh.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
So I think it's also the comedic expectation. You know, when Abby, they do the show-
- KSKara Swisher
Oh, I know
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... down at the cooking-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, the cooking thing. Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... Food Network.
- KSKara Swisher
Yes.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I wanna be respectful to the place. And also, you're with four people who are dead ass serious, and they've written notes down all day, and these are real journalists. And I'm sitting here-
- 11:39 – 15:48
Trump Escalates Trade War With Canada
- KSKara Swisher
Uh, speaking of other countries, Donald Trump is lashing out at Canada, saying they're among the worst nations in the world to deal with and will no longer be treated like, will, will be treated like a state no longer. They are not a state. This outburst comes after US-Canada trade talks collapsed late last week when Canada walked away, and Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney says the US introduced last-minute demands that were unfair and uneconomic. And he would know. He's a, he's a banker. He's, he's run treasuries, everything else. With no deal, Trump's 50% tariffs went into effect on a range of Canadian goods, including dairy products, alcohol, and hockey equipment. Trump is also now threatening to increase tariffs on all cars, car parts, and steel from Canada to 50% starting January 1st. Mark Carney says, uh, Canada will retaliate dollar for dollar with tariffs of its own and spoke candid about where the relationship between the two countries stand. Let's listen.
- SPSpeaker
Why does it feel like today Mark Carney is going to war?
- KSKara Swisher
Trade war. The tone.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I, uh, because we're attacked. Um, like, you're at war when you get attacked. We got attacked.
- KSKara Swisher
Is Canada really a country we wanna be going to war with right now, or trade war? War, trade war.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
No, it, they, they aren't, and I think the US has really established themselves as, you know, we're the country without a country. Like, do we have any allies left that aren't begrudging, and, like, have no choice but to be with us because it, it's an economic disadvantage to not rock with us? I like Crown Royal. I hate that it's more expensive. I know there's bigger issues at stake here when we're talking about-
- KSKara Swisher
No, but it's part of the thing. It's part of-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... tariffs. But-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... yeah, that, mm-hmm, kinda sucks. But I, I think that, I think we live in a time now where just Trump is just a, like, our government is just gonna bully other nations for no reason, even if they don't, even if it doesn't make any sense. And so it does not help us. It also decimates small businesses that do a lot of business across the border. So both ways, you know what I'm saying? So I just, I don't, I don't know. I, but I think if you're Canada at this point, there's no sense in bending the knee. You may as well just ride this out for the next two years if you're really gonna be serious about it.
- KSKara Swisher
Right. Well, maybe just a few months. He may not have the power to do much of anything in November after.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah, I... Yeah, come November. I, I also love that he's rescinded the thing that they didn't even want in the first place, which was statehood. [laughs] Like, you were n-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... you are no longer invited to my party. All right.
- KSKara Swisher
[laughs] They, you know-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Fine
- KSKara Swisher
... they would deal. They, they do have a conservative movement there, but the, they, they do not, they have not yet won, uh, elections. They have for, in, in certain areas, but it's not Trump conservatism. The one, one or two people are like that.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
But even with the conservative movement, even with the way that American conservative politics have influenced international conservatism, I don't think that anyone in any of these other nations has a desire to be America... Like, they're still prideful people, Canadians, regardless. Uh, so they're not dying to run with us and do everything. Like, even if you got a full-blown conservative, you know, parliament or whatever in Canada, I don't know if that fixes Trump's desire to want to, like, still kinda, you know, put his pinky on, put his pinky on the scale of foreign trade with Canada. I just don't think-
- KSKara Swisher
Why is he doing it? Why do you think he's doing it this time? Did he get mad? I mean, the pushback?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I, I th- I need wins, and if you're not gonna do what I want you to do, then I'm just gonna take my ball and go, "You know what? I'll show you." And then more importantly, this is somehow rolled up into a ball in PR and sold to American voters as a win for America.
- KSKara Swisher
I don't think people think that-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
'Cause America first.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, but they're not like that anymore, which is interesting. One of the things that's really interesting is Canada is one of the few neighbors of countries that hasn't gotten into, uh, big wars with their neighbors, right? They've been excellent neighbors for a long, long, long time.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Good for them.
- KSKara Swisher
Anyway, let's move
- 15:48 – 29:04
Paramount-Warner Bros. Merger Fight
- KSKara Swisher
on. The Paramount-Warner Bros. merger saga continues.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Oh, Lord.
- KSKara Swisher
California AG Rob Bonta just called off settlement talks with Paramount, accusing Paramount of acting in bad faith, leaking details of a meeting, and misrepresenting discussions. Bonta is leading the 12-state group that sued to block the merger. There's also a separate suit by WGA. Both cases are set to go to trial in March. Paramount agreed to pause the deal until the cases play out or until June, when the costs are gonna start piling up. Uh, they're gonna, they're gonna really start piling up in September with these ticking fees, but if it doesn't come to fruition by June, it's another almost $8 billion they have to pay, and the deal would probably be over. Though Paramount is now asking a judge to make the states and the WGA put up $1.88 billion bond to cover those delay costs, which is unprecedented. Roy, you probably thought you were free of Paramount when you left "The Daily Show," but now you're at CNN-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah
- KSKara Swisher
... they're pulling you. But you're not, y-your show-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
It's-
- KSKara Swisher
... is licensed, correct? With, just like I do.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
It's licensed, but-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... nothing's, n-none of this is guaranteed. They shoot-
- KSKara Swisher
Right
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... whole movies and then don't release them.
- KSKara Swisher
Yep, yep.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Ask the cast of Batgirl.
- KSKara Swisher
[laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Like, they... It's like, me and this Paramount merger, you know that movie, It Follows, where that thing just-
- KSKara Swisher
Yes. [laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... no matter where you go, it's coming for you. [laughs] 'Cause, and then before that, it was the CBS Viacom-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... Comedy Central merger. [laughs]
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
So I can't escape it. I'm just a merger magnet, baby. Uh, I don't, I don't know what this means for CNN as a whole, because I've also heard within this merger talk that there's, there's kind of two scenarios. You know, there was scenario one where CNN wasn't gonna be part of it, then Ellison came out and said, "No, no, no, we want CNN. I want it to be run right. We're gonna, we promise to keep it-
- KSKara Swisher
Promise, yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... neutral, and we're-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... not gonna Fox 2.0."
- KSKara Swisher
Censorship.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
But then there's also a world where CNN still gets sold off, you know, somewhere else. I, I think that's, if we're speaking frankly, I think that's probably the inevitability of the network, uh, in terms of Time Warner, not just CNN. I'm talking Time Warner as a whole being sold in some capacity. What the new regime wants, that becomes the thing that becomes odd. You know, I had a show, I had a show, um, I had a, I had a sitcom on the hook over at HBO Max that was on the inside track to get a series pickup, and then the Showtime Max merger thingamajiggy happened, and they cleared the slate. You know, I was at TBS, um, when Michael Wright took over, I believe in 2012, 2013. 2013, I believe, is when he came in, and when he came into the network, he essentially canceled everything but Conan O'Brien. And so Having been a part of these different entities where I've been on a show, same with TBS, a show that did well, and the show was very safe, and the show was really loved. I don't know how much all of that really counts anymore. You know, you look at "Wonder Man" that was canceled, um, by, I think, um, was it Disney Plus? Yeah. It's a Marvel show. And then they put out the viewing numbers two weeks later, and it's like these numbers clearly billions of hours v- uh, this show should've gotten another season. So, you know, I don't know. I, I definitely, the thing that I hate the most about all of this is what it does in terms of uncertainty for staff. You know, as talent, I'm afforded a lot more leeway. I can go travel and do shows and figure out other, other audibles for myself. But when you are ... Like, these aren't just balance sheet conversations-
- 29:04 – 33:13
Griftwatch: Trump’s Stock Trades
- KSKara Swisher
back. Griftwatch alert. Donald Trump made more than 1,000 stock trades in June, with transactions totaling between 78 million and 263 million, according to his latest financial discl- closure. Notably, Trump bought between $15,000 and $50,000 worth of SpaceX stock just 11 days after the company's IPO. And Iran, the Iran war continues. Trump has been buying and selling shares of defense contractor Palantir. But nothing to worry about here. The White House says there's no conflicts of interest because Trump's investments are independently managed. Now, he has other grifts like cryptocurrency, as you know. Um, so this is the second, this is the second shoe to drop in that regard. He made billions in cryptocurrency already. So w- how do you, how do you rank them, sto- rank them among his grifts?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Well, the, the interesting thing about the, the, this whole stock thing was that the White House said that, "Oh, it's a computer algorithm that runs the trading based on the traditional trading trends and the ruh-ruh-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah." But they can't tell you who greenlit the particular trades. They go, "Oh, it's a computer," but somebody has to go, "Yes, computer, I approve. Do that." Did that person have insider information? I think that's the thing that... At, at this point, nothing would surprise me, and they've-- We're so beaten down with political scandals that the scandals just feel like, "Yeah, all right."
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, he made more money.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Like it's, "Oh, uh, uh, all right." Oddly, the one trade that he made, uh, President Trump, that I was curious about was Home Depot. I'm like, "What do you know?" You know? Like, okay, grifting, SpaceX, AI. All right. What's going on with Home Depot, man? What do you know?
- KSKara Swisher
Home Depot. Well, you know, the guy who was the chairman was super conservative. That might just be it. It's a conservative company.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah. Uh, uh, I guess it's what else was-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, you're right. What's going on? What do you think is happening with Home Depot?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah, it's like, uh, I don't, I don't know.
- KSKara Swisher
What do we think?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Where are we building these houses? Or would there-
- KSKara Swisher
Mm
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... be some destruction that you're planning?
- KSKara Swisher
Oh.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Like, I don't know. I don't wanna get into my conspiracy land with you, but-
- KSKara Swisher
Oh, I like it
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... that was the one that was a bigger red flag-
- KSKara Swisher
Oh, wow
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... than most of the other companies.
- KSKara Swisher
I hadn't noticed that one. Uh, do you think he's ever been to Home Depot?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
No, 'cause he would've told you. If, if I, if Trump ever built some shit in his life, he would've said it nonstop.
- KSKara Swisher
He builds everything, Roy. He's a build- he's a builder. He just said that.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah. Eh. I don't know.
- KSKara Swisher
Do you, uh, are you offended by his grifts or just exhausted by them?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Uh, we're, I'm, I'm past offended. Like, it doesn't... Like, I feel bad that I am not at, that I'm desensitized in a way that speaks to just how exhausting so much of the scandals are. Like, it's just-
- KSKara Swisher
That is a really good point. Would there be a grift he could do that you'd be like, "Okay, that's it. End of it. That is it. That is it"?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I think, I think sports betting would be one that would like-
- KSKara Swisher
Oh. Oh, he hasn't gotten there yet
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... lose in favor-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... with his base.
- 33:13 – 37:58
Pentagon Targets Stars and Stripes
- KSKara Swisher
speaking of things that they're doing that exhausts me as a journalist, Pentagon has fired three top staffers at Stars and Stripes, a government-funded news outlet that reports on the US military. The Pentagon cited insubordination as the reason for the firings. Two of the staffers had recently spoken publicly about protecting the paper's editorial independence, which it has had for forever, pointing to the legal right to be free from news management and censorship. The third has already announced his retirement, citing fundamental disagreements over the paper's values and mission. The firings come as Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth pushes to reshape the paper with more focus on war fighting and less on woke distractions. If Hegseth is making editorial decisions here, what kind of stories will we see now?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I, I don't know what we gonna see. What war st- what propaganda do you want? Like, they won't print what we need to print the right way, and good for those journalists for having a little bit of backbone and some teeth about themselves.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, Stars and Stripes has a pretty good reputation among the military. I have a lot of family in military, and it actually is considered not... I mean, no Defense Department official has tried to do this. Like, it, it is run relatively independently. Obviously, it, it's funded by the Pentagon, but they've never tried to meddle in it before. And what they were writing about was the conditions on the USS Lincoln, um, and they didn't like that. They didn't like the Stars and Stripes-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah
- KSKara Swisher
... pointing out that it's a mess.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Which it is. The carrier's been out way too long. They're undersupplied. Th- everything's backing up, and they're expected to st- Uh, so yeah, you have... It, it's probably one of the best ways you could ever honor the military. I think the problem now is for the journalists that are gonna be hired and put in there now. Like, this is, this is one of those cases where you almost support AI reporting. Like, just, just print up, just, just, just print up what you want, bro.
- KSKara Swisher
Just have AI report it.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Just conjure-
- KSKara Swisher
Oh, that's a great idea
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... just conjure up whatever it is. Don't involve me and my integrity in this. Um, I, I think that, I think that the Stars and Stripes issue is... That one is a little more effed up to me simply because this is, this is a piece of journalism that goes to the people who serve this country. And so when you're telling them what is going on within their world like that and, you know... Like the, was it AFN, like the Air F- Armed Forces Network, where you're showing them and, uh, you know, "Here's the content we have decided to expose you to," how much of that then becomes mental manipulation?
- KSKara Swisher
Or they don't believe it, or they don't trust it. I mean, that's, I think, the point is to hollow out trust, right? If it's done a pretty good job covering your life... And it's not like, it's not going to do, like, Washington Post-like investigative pieces necessarily, but it's accurate about your life and not, and, uh, able to talk about a ship that is in trouble.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And you would think the rank and file aren't gonna realize that, Hegseth?
- KSKara Swisher
They do know.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
At some point, then you start, you start having morale issues.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. Well, I think he's having them.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Which-
- KSKara Swisher
I think he's having them.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah. I, I, I, it's, it's terrible. You know, I understand lying to the American people, but lying to the people that protect the American people, that's, that's just even more egregious.
- KSKara Swisher
Don't you, don't you want more war fighting, Roy? More war fighting and not woke distractions?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Yeah. 'Cause, you know-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... wars win elections, they say, right?
- KSKara Swisher
No, not this one. Not this one. All right, let's go on a quick break. When we come back, we'll check on Trump's personal relationships. [gentle music] Support for this show comes from Granola. No matter how important the meeting is, it's impossible for everyone to remain locked in 100% every single minute. It's just the way group convos go. Someone stays ruminating on an earlier point while someone else gets preoccupied with note-taking. That's why Granola was created, to make sure nothing gets missed. Granola is an AI-powered notepad built for the way real people actually meet. Here's how it works. You take rough notes like you normally would, and in the background, Granola securely transcribes the meeting. Then it turns everything into a clean, structured, actually useful notes when the meeting ends. There's no cumbersome setup either. Granola works through your device's audio, which means it integrates seamlessly into the video conferencing tools you already use. It's just your normal meeting with superpowers, so now you can actually listen instead of trying to catch every important word. You walk away knowing exactly what was decided, who's doing what, and what comes next. If meetings are eating up your day, Granola is a no-brainer. You can try it totally free. Just head to granola.ai/pivot, that's granola.ai/pivot, to get your time back. Try it for free at granola.ai/pivot.
- 37:58 – 50:48
Melania, Michael Cohen & Natalie Harp
- KSKara Swisher
Roy, we're back with more news. Now is the time to talk about some updates in Trump's personal relationships. Amidst ongoing speculation about Trump and his aide, Natalie Harp, Melania Trump made her first public appearance in more than a month. Let's listen to the entrance she made. [applause] Good afternoon. I heard you missed me. [laughing] Here I am. [laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
[laughs]
- KSKara Swisher
Roy, did you miss Melania?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Ooh.
- KSKara Swisher
Uh, let me, uh, so, a- and then moving on-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
No
- KSKara Swisher
... let me just say, the president and his former fixer, Michael Cohen, have publicly reconciled, sitting down for their first interview together since Cohen became a key witness in Trump's hush money trial. The reunion is quite a reversal after years of public attacks. Cohen has called Trump a con man and a predator, and Trump called Cohen a rat. In, in, and definitely totally unrelated news, Cohen has submitted a pardon application to the Trump administration. Um, and, uh, and of course, amid questions about his health from bruising his hands to the trouble staying awake, doctors are also raising concern about his weight since he gained about 20 pounds. This is his relationship with his self. Uh, uh, since the 2024 campaign, doctors told the Washington Post that Trump's weight is a strong risk factor for premature disability and death. So, so many things, and then of course, Natalie Harp, who more and more comes out, the more and more disturbing it, it seems to be, including old tweets. Um, she seems to have a, a real strange obsession on him. A lot of the right is trying to argue that she's the true feminist, but I don't think that's the definition-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
[laughs]
- KSKara Swisher
... of a feminist. So any of these things you'd like to weigh in on, Roy?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Uh, first off, first and foremost, just to, to everybody, just stop getting excited about bad Trump health news.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
It's just not... I had this evil ass teacher in the fifth grade. She's still alive. Like, you don't, you don't understand, like, when you make move-- When you make all the wrong moves in life, it, like, it gives you vibrance.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. Yeah, it does. [laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And just, you can just defy sickness and death-
- KSKara Swisher
You can
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... and bad luck because-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... you just gotta put, you just gotta put bad decisions on top of bad decisions.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. See, yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And that's what the president's-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... shown an ability to do.
- KSKara Swisher
My grandmother used to say, let me tell you, when she was... When someone who was bad wouldn't die, she'd always go, "God doesn't want them." [laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
[laughs] Well, check with the devil 'cause-
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, devil. Ah
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... why is it all about God?
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, I know. That's what she'd say.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
I, I just... Uh, the hand pictures are just funny to me because just the camera, the, the quality of cameras now, you can get in and see the literal makeup line around the knuckle.
- KSKara Swisher
Right, and the liver spots.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Of the-
- 50:48 – 1:02:28
Wins & Fails
- KSKara Swisher
Okay, Roy, let's hear some wins and fails. You go first.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Uh, shout out to Karen Attiah of The Washington Post.
- KSKara Swisher
Oh, 100%. That was gonna be one of mine, but I have several. But go ahead.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Hey.
- KSKara Swisher
Say why.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
That's, that's my only one. Like, this, this woman unjustly fired for giving her opinion about, you know, part of... It wasn't even about what happened to Charlie Kirk. It was about whether or not we should honor Charlie Kirk, and was fired immediately from The Washington Po- You know, the whole op-ed section there, they've been trying to kinda, "Hey, everybody, quiet down those opinions. You're making Bezos mad."
- KSKara Swisher
[laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And she fought. She fought.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
She took it to arbitration. And, uh, this week they gave her her job back. The arbitrator decided, "Hey, you were not-- That's not how you fire. Go back to work immediately, and here's your back pay."
- KSKara Swisher
I love Karen. I think Karen's a badass. She also does, like... I love all her photos. I love how she puts it. What's really fantast- fantastically ironic, the guy who fired her is gone, that, that young-
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
[laughs]
- KSKara Swisher
... moron they hired in her place. Uh, I love Karen. You're right 100%. I don't know if she'll stay, but good for her. You're right.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
No, I, I, I, I personally, and this is speaking as someone who does not know her, based on the readings of her work, she strikes me as someone who would stay just, if nothing else, to throw a last couple of real ass articles in that publication that's, that's suppressing a lot of the type of work that, you know, that she does so well.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah, I would agree. Yeah. I'm gonna talk to her today. I'll find out. I'll find-- I'm gonna-- I was gonna reach out to her 'cause I'm sure she's celebrating. She's been doing actually interesting courses herself. She's a bit of an entrepreneur and has been doing sort of a bunch of interesting things, but that was just ridiculous, and I love that she fought. She, she almost took the buyout and then didn't, which was interesting. We, you know. And she's like, "No, I'm gonna stay here. I'm gonna stay here and do my work." And they immediately... And I said, "Karen, I think they're gonna fire you then." And that's what they did. And the way they did it was so fucking ridiculous, but she stood her ground. You're right. Go ahead. All right, what is your fail?
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
Oh, oh, my, my fail is, is, is me.
- KSKara Swisher
Mm.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
No one told me that you needed a friend to take you home for a colonoscopy. And-
- KSKara Swisher
[laughs]
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... I had to schedule the colonoscopy.
- KSKara Swisher
Uh-huh.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And I'm trying to be all reverent about my health, and the heart, and the blood sugar. And I set the date, and then they call me two weeks before, and they go, "Yeah, you, you need a friend." And I don't-- Like, when you start thinking about, like, like, now we're getting into emergency contact level friendship, and I, and I just-- and I realize that with the people that I've def- with the as- the, the, the alliances and the associates that I've made in 11 years in New York City, I don't really have anyone to the level, a few comedians-
- KSKara Swisher
Colonoscopy
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... but the, the... Yeah. I don't have colonoscopy, will you take me home after a camera-
- KSKara Swisher
Right. Uh-huh
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
... probe level friend.
- KSKara Swisher
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
And I had to reschedule my colonos- I found a person, but I have to reschedule the colonoscopy. They're not-- There's no other t- availability until November.
- KSKara Swisher
Oh, no. Oh, no.
- RJRoy Wood Jr.
So I gotta wait two months to go back.
Episode duration: 1:02:28
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