Feel Lost In Life? Here’s Exactly How to Find Your Purpose (For Real) | Kirsty Gallagher

1. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee0:00

   What is purpose?

2. KGKirsty Gallagher0:01

   Mm.

3. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee0:01

   And what is it that gets in the way of us finding our own?

4. KGKirsty Gallagher0:06

   So I always come with a really big kind of spoiler alert when I talk about purpose, because your purpose, honestly, is to be you. It's to be who you came here to be. And so I think we've labeled purpose as some big elusive thing out there that one day we might find, and when we finally find it, we'll be happy and our life will be the way that we want it to be. And so we constantly search for purpose outside of us. So we look for it in our job, or in status, or in relationships, or in money, or houses, or cars, or whatever it may be. We look for it in the material world, and we're never gonna find it out there because none of that is who we truly are. So your purpose is to be the you that you came here to be, to offer to the world what only you can offer. So the biggest thing that gets in the way of purpose is, is you. Because the whole time we're trying to be someone that we're not, or we're trying to act in certain ways that we think we should, we're kind of strangling the very life force energy that makes us who we are, and therefore gives us purpose in life. Now, the other things I like to mention with purpose is that we also think our purpose needs to be our job. Your purpose doesn't need to be your job. Your job is allowed to be somewhere that you go to earn money, to pay the bills, and then you can find purpose outside of that. So your purpose may be to be a parent-

5. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee1:19

   Mm

6. KGKirsty Gallagher1:19

   ... to raise the next generation. Your purpose may be to do charity work or work with animals. Your purpose may be to tend to a beautiful garden so that everyone that walks past that garden gets joy and upliftment and smiles because they see something so beautiful.

7. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee1:34

   Mm-hmm.

8. KGKirsty Gallagher1:35

   It's likely that you may start to do your purpose down the line, because when we find what it is that we're here to do, we want to share it and teach it, and that's also part of our purpose. That everything that we go through in life is leading us to more and more purpose. So if we could view purpose as, rather than being this one big thing out there, if we could view the way you go to your job as your purpose, the way you navigate difficult times in life as your purpose, the way you show up every day-

9. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee2:01

   Mm-hmm

10. KGKirsty Gallagher2:01

    ... is your purpose, that in itself would help us to find more purpose.

11. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee2:07

    Yeah, I love that. There's so many really beautiful options there to help people think about purpose, I think, a little bit differently.

12. KGKirsty Gallagher2:15

    Mm.

13. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee2:15

    I think one of the things that I've observed over the last few years is there's more awareness of purpose and how important it is.

14. KGKirsty Gallagher2:22

    Yes.

15. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee2:22

    And, you know, I've looked at the research on purpose and, and, and, and it's very clear that people with a strong sense of purpose are happier, they're healthier, they live longer. But I think it does feel quite elusive to many people.

16. KGKirsty Gallagher2:36

    Mm.

17. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee2:36

    It's like, yeah, but my... I'm, I'm just busy with work and just keeping a roof over my head, you know, how can I possibly find time to find my purpose?

18. KGKirsty Gallagher2:44

    Mm.

19. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee2:45

    Right? So I, I really like the way you broadened it out there. As you were talking, I guess the follow-up that came into my mind was, is purpose then something we do or something that we are?

20. KGKirsty Gallagher2:58

    Something that we are. For me, purpose is something that you are. You, you have to find it within you. The only thing that's gonna give you true meaning and purpose in life is when you're doing things that feel purposeful and meaningful to you, and that's gonna be different for all of us. And so for me, the more you can become who you authentically and truly are, the more you will then live a life of purpose. And then as I mentioned, you might start to do more of that by teaching it or sharing it. And so a prime example is that my purpose right now is to show up as part of this podcast, fully, truly, authentically me, and give you every part of me that I've got. That's my purpose right now. If I was sitting here now trying to say to you what I thought you wanted me to say, or what I thought your audience wanted me to say, I wouldn't be being all of me, and therefore the words I'm speaking, they wouldn't land in the same way. Whereas, if I can show up now, and I can be fully me, and I can give you everything I've got, and I can share my experiences with you, that's how then it's gonna land. And if I touch the hearts of one or two people today who make one tiny change in their life because of something we've said, that's my purpose. I'm here to serve and to help people. So I've then fulfilled my purpose by being me.

21. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee4:10

    You said your purpose is to be here and serve people. Okay. It's ki- kind of interesting for me to unpick that.

22. KGKirsty Gallagher4:17

    Mm.

23. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee4:19

    Is there a danger perhaps that if we say that our purpose is to serve people, that we can inadvertently be doing things for external validation, right? Because it could be... You were saying some really beautiful things there. So you were saying that, "If I say to you, Rangan, things that I think your audience want to hear from me," in some ways, you would actually have met the goal of helping those people, right? You might have said something really insightful that then helps them, but you may have changed who you are in order to do that. There's a, there's a subtlety there, isn't there?

24. KGKirsty Gallagher4:58

    There is. And then would I have landed the goal? Because everyone knows when we hear words that aren't authentically true. We all know. There's a part of us that knows when someone is trying to say something-

25. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee5:09

    Mm

26. KGKirsty Gallagher5:09

    ... that they think we want to say, or when something isn't coming from a depth of experience and embodiment. We all know when someone's just a wordsmith and just saying all the right words, but there isn't a depth that has been lived and fully experienced. So a lot of our purpose comes through our lived experience, where we go through certain things in our life.

27. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee5:27

    Mm.

28. KGKirsty Gallagher5:27

    And I believe that everything we go through in life is helping to take us to more purpose, because I can only sit here now and share with you things from my own personal experience, what I've experienced, how I've learned and grown and evolved on my journey of life that's then taken me towards more purpose. Now, my purpose is to serve others. That might not be yours. It might not be anyone else who's watching this. So that's why it's important that we find our unique individual purpose and what makes us feel most purposeful and alive.

29. RCDr. Rangan Chatterjee5:57

    Yeah. I love that. That... And I guess the reason I pause on that, um, and sort of try to explore it, is because I was chatting to my team last week about this podcast.

30. KGKirsty Gallagher6:06

    Mm.

Episode duration: 1:55:10