Are you Stuck in the Self-Development Trap? 5 Simple steps to get unstuck.

1. 0:00 – 0:31

   The self-development trap: motivation without meaningful action

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:00

      Many of the people that I've coached or worked with are passionate about self-development. Their eyes light up whenever they share their latest visualization, productivity, or mindfulness techniques. But I'd often notice something missing. Many of them seem to be trapped in the pleasure of perpetual learning and motivation without taking meaningful action, and months or even years could go by without them reaping any real benefits and accelerating their progress. They're stuck in information limbo, and you might be, too. [upbeat music] Hi,

2. 0:31 – 1:02

   Why this matters: self-growth should create real work-and-life results

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:31

      I'm Shadé Zarri, and I help professionals to hack their careers, overcome their limiting beliefs, and confidently create the extraordinary life they deserve. In this video, I'm going to explain how, if you're not careful, your quest for self-development could become completely debilitating and lead to inaction, robbing you from the benefits of applying what you've learned and getting better results at work and in life. And then I'll share with you five simple steps to make sure that you don't fall into the self-development pleasure trap, and instead maximize your development by taking action. We

3. 1:02 – 1:32

   How we get hooked: the “constant high” of books, seminars, podcasts, and videos

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:02

      all wanna be better, right? To grow, to develop, to become our best selves and live our best lives so that we can advance in our careers and be happy. So we read self-help books, we attend motivational seminars, subscribe to podcasts that a colleague highly recommends, and find ourselves glued to motivational videos on YouTube. Well, at least a lot of my clients do. We become like a sponge, soaking it all up, being so inspired, daydreaming about our future, visualizing what it will all look like someday. We love it. We're on a constant high. We become

4. 1:32 – 2:02

   When learning turns addictive: choosing more content over mastering skills

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:32

      hooked on learning the latest from the current hot bestseller, and it becomes like a fuel sustaining the fire of passion inside of us. It sounds great, doesn't it? Well, this hunger for self-development doesn't come without its risks. You see, there is a lot of pleasure in listening to or learning about self-development, so it can become addictive and even develop into an obstacle to you taking actual action to develop those new habits. It becomes easier to move onto the next book or the next course than to actually apply what you've learned. The pleasure of reading about mindfulness and meditation

5. 2:02 – 3:02

   The science behind inaction: choice overload and the jam study

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:02

      becomes more attractive than going through the pain of actually mastering meditation. This trap is not addressed often enough, so it's something that I often raise in my programs. Don't get me wrong, self-development and personal growth is super inspiring and plays an important role, but it's counterproductive if it's barely put into action or if it starts to rob you of your valuable time. In a well-known study from the year 2000, some really interesting findings about choice overload were uncovered. Shoppers at an upscale food market were shown a display table with 24 varieties of gourmet jams. Those who sampled the spread were rewarded with a $1 discount coupon off any jam. The next day, only six varieties of jams were displayed to shoppers. So what were the observations? Well, as you might have expected, the larger display attracted more interest than the smaller one, but when the time came to purchase the jam, shoppers who saw the smaller display were 90% more likely to buy than those who saw the larger ones. In other words, many choices increased interest but reduced action. It's just like when you go to a new restaurant and find too many items on the menu. It

6. 3:02 – 4:03

   What choice overload looks like in self-development (and why it stalls progress)

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:02

      becomes really hard to make a choice, and when you finally do make a choice, you wish that you chose what the couple on the other table next to you had ordered. That's always me. So what we can extract from this principle of choice overload is that when facing many options, most people can get engrossed in the sampling of choices but would struggle to make a commitment to follow through and take action. If we do commit, we might feel regret because of a fear that we made the wrong choice or that we've missed out on a better choice. This is what happens for so many when it comes to personal development. We'll spend more time reading, listening, being inspired than actually doing anything, more time reading about meditation than actually meditating, more time listening to podcasts about productivity than being productive, more time reading about how to craft an amazing presentation than actually working on one. Look, self-development and dreaming is exciting. It's energizing. It's pleasurable. That's the sexy part, but the less sexy reality is that it doesn't get you anywhere without applying it and without taking action. So there are five steps that you need to implement

7. 4:03 – 4:18

   The antidote: a self-development journal + the LEARN action loop overview

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:03

      today to make sure that you're not stuck in self-development paralysis and you maximize the benefit that you get. Firstly, I highly, highly recommend to keep a self-development journal to help you keep track of, absorb, and apply what you've learned. So the five steps are learn, extract,

8. 4:18 – 4:34

   Step 1 — Learn: choose one focus and stop after a small chunk

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:19

      act, reflect, next, which happens to conveniently spell LEARN. Here goes. Step 1: Learn. Decide what you want to learn and why, then commit to learn it by reading a chapter or listening to a relevant podcast. But then stop.

9. 4:34 – 5:04

   Step 2 — Extract: write the few insights that matter to you

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:34

      I know that it can be tempting, but don't jump onto the next thing. Stay with this section. Go over it again and let your mind pick up nuances that you might have missed. Share what you learned with someone. It's proven to help retention. Maybe go and revise that section the following day, allowing your subconscious to process overnight. Whatever method works best for you, do that. Step 2: Extract. Once you feel that you have a good grasp of what you've learned, the next step is to extract what is useful and relevant to you. Write down three key insights that stood out. Summarize in writing or with

10. 5:04 – 5:19

    Step 3 — Act: implement through practice, drills, or a real strategy

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai5:04

       illustrations or both. Again, whatever works. Step 3: Act. Now it's time to apply what you've learned. Decide what you're going to apply and how you're going to apply it. It could be in the form of drills and practice. As the saying goes, repetition is the mother of all learning.

11. 5:19 – 5:34

    Step 4 — Reflect: measure results and improve the approach

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai5:20

       Or there might be a specific strategy that you want to implement. Do that here. Step 4: Reflect. It's important to measure the impact of your actions and actually reflect on what you were able to achieve, what didn't work, and what could have worked better. My husband, Faisal, and I

12. 5:34 – 6:04

    Step 5 — Next: move forward only after implementation, then repeat the cycle

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai5:34

       do this every Sunday night and turn it into something fun. Step 5: Next. Once you're satisfied with what you've implemented, it's time to move on to the next section on your journey of self-development, and you can go back and repeat L-E-A-R-N whenever you need to. It's important to understand that in order to succeed, you are far better off applying what you learned instead of endlessly consuming. Remember, information put into action is knowledge. So that's it for today's video. If you found this video useful, please go ahead and hit the like

13. 6:04 – 6:36

    Wrap-up and viewer prompt: share what you’re applying and stay connected

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai6:04

       button, and please spread the word on social media land. And in the comments below, let me know what you're currently focusing on and how you're putting it into action. And of course, if you never wanna miss a video, jump onto the website, shadezahrai.com, and join my tribe for videos in your inbox every single week. I'm Shadé Zarri. I will see you next time. [upbeat music]

Episode duration: 6:37