Dr. Shadé ZahraiAre you that Manager People Love to Hate? | 3 Principles to Supercharge Leadership | Shadé Zahrai
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
5 min read · 1,483 words- 0:00 – 0:30
Manager vs. leader: why high performers struggle after promotion
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
You've probably heard this a million times: just because a person is a manager doesn't make them a leader. Why is this important to you? Well, eventually you want to get promoted to be a manager, right? Or maybe you already are in a management role. Or you might want to start your own company and be the CEO. Here's the thing, a manager manages to get everyone to do the work, but a leader puts out that magnetic energy that lifts other people up, inspires them to be their best, and helps them buy into the vision. Let me give you a typical example of a high performer's career path. So
- 0:30 – 1:00
The ‘superstar performer’ promotion trap (Sarah’s story)
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
from the moment Sarah started her career, she put her head down and got the job done, became technically excellent at what she does. She was a superstar performer. Naturally, she eventually got offered a management job, and she struggled. She thought that she knew the ropes, but there was one missing link, and I've seen this happen countless times to a lot of good people, both in my career and with the leading organizations we work with. High performers get promoted to positions of management because they're technically very good, but they have no idea of how to lead people. Sure, they might send you for an intensive leadership
- 1:00 – 1:30
Three leadership principles—and the cost of ignoring them
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
program, but two days of learning how to lead is not going to be enough. So stick with me here, because I'm going to share with you my three principles for supercharging your leadership, setting yourself apart from the crowd, and moving ahead faster in your career, regardless of what level you're at. And a warning: ignore them at your own peril, because if you choose not to apply them, you're likely setting yourself up to be one of those managers that people love to hate. Hi, I'm Shadé Zahrai, and I help professionals to hack their careers, overcome their limiting beliefs,
- 1:30 – 2:01
Principle 1: Appreciation is the #1 driver of job happiness
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
and confidently create the extraordinary life they deserve. So let's dive in. First, you want to show a real appreciation for others. Can you guess what's most important to employees when it comes to their work? Now, you might think it's salary, or whether they get a bonus, or even opportunities to progress, but you'd be wrong. A study by Boston Consulting Group, which surveyed over 200,000 people around the world, and it's one of the most comprehensive studies of its kind, found that the number one factor for employee happiness on the job is, drum roll, being
- 2:01 – 3:02
Why recognition works: brain reward pathways & the Pygmalion effect
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
appreciated for their work. A 2008 neuroimaging study found that social rewards, like being appreciated and recognized at work, activate the reward-related areas in the brain in the same way that monetary rewards like salary and bonuses do. Now, when you recognize someone's virtues, positive qualities, and behaviors, like diligence, determination, or courage, it makes them more likely to want to uphold that state and live up to that label, which boosts their performance. It's called the Pygmalion effect, and it's something I speak about in my 2018 TEDx Talk. It's where people are more likely to live up to the expectations that others have about them. So as a leader, if you recognize and acknowledge your team members, not only do they appreciate being recognized, but it also reinforces that behavior, and they're more likely to maintain it and keep doing it. Reinforced behavior is repeated behavior. This is a really valuable tip for encouraging positive behaviors within your team and the people that you work with, and encouraging better performance, and it's also really important to contributing to a positive team environment. Second,
- 3:02 – 3:32
Principle 2: Lead with strengths to lift morale and performance
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
you want to make an effort to focus on strengths. Early in my corporate career, I managed a team of salespeople. When I came to take over the team, they were underperforming, lacking engagement, and didn't really want to be coming to work. I realized that part of the reason why they had such a history of underperformance was that all of the previous managers kept reminding them of everything they weren't doing right, what they weren't good at, and how far behind they were in their numbers. This is lethal for team morale. One of the first things I did when I took over was to spend time getting to know each
- 3:32 – 4:02
Case study: turning around an underperforming sales team by highlighting strengths
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
team member and really understand their strengths and what they were good at so that I could acknowledge them, so that I could make them feel proud of the value that they brought. And get this: after a couple of weeks of appreciating their strengths, go figure, their performance started to improve. It was slow at first, but I noticed a distinct shift in their attitude and their focus at work. Now, there's a lot of research that shows that when you focus only on people's weaknesses, it's detrimental to how they feel and how they perform. It demotivates them. But if you celebrate strengths and remind
- 4:02 – 4:32
Make strengths a habit—even when they’re not tied directly to the bottom line
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
people of the value they bring, this does wonders for engagement and overall performance. So make it a habit to highlight people's strengths rather than only focusing on weaknesses, even if those strengths aren't directly linked to the bottom line, because again, it will have flow-on effects to engagement, performance, and productivity. And the third really important quality to supercharge your leadership is to make sure people feel valued. Are you noticing a theme here? Yes, of course, people charged with leadership have to help the team to achieve their commercial
- 4:32 – 5:02
Principle 3: Make people feel valued—the relational edge of real leadership
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
goals, but it's these relational aspects that really differentiate managers from leaders. Through our company, Influencio Global Inc., I've worked with thousands of managers and leaders across so many different industries, and by talking to their teams, I've found that a common trait that exceptional leaders have is this: they make people feel valued and appreciated. Loyalty and morale increases, and performance naturally increases, too. So what does it mean to actually make people feel valued? Well, there are a couple of key elements I want you to think about. First, really
- 5:02 – 5:33
How to make people feel valued (Part 1): Listen with full presence
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
listen. When someone's speaking to you, you want to give them your full undivided attention. Use your body language and gestures to show that you're engaged. You stop whatever it is that you're doing. You put your phone away. You maintain eye contact. I remember when I was at university studying social psychology, we were learning about how to know whether someone is interested in you and what you're saying, and a classic sign is when they orient their body towards yours. This demonstrates that they are very, very interested. And the same thing applies in leadership. When your body and feet are facing
- 5:33 – 6:33
How to make people feel valued (Part 2): Demonstrate empathy to understand motives and context
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
the person that you're listening to, they subconsciously feel as though you're really listening and hearing what they're saying. You're reinforcing that this person is important and that you're present with them. Second, top leaders demonstrate empathy. Empathy is about understanding the needs of others. It means that you're aware of their experience, their perspectives, and their feelings. And when you demonstrate empathy, people feel like you understand them. Now, one way to demonstrate empathy as a leader is to take time to try to understand what's behind a team member's behavior or where someone might be coming from with a suggestion or a comment that they make. It might involve asking questions to understand how someone's feeling or what motivates them. For example, "That's interesting. What makes you say that?" Or, "Can you share more with me about what you're experiencing?" It's not about simply being nice or trying to make everyone happy. It's actually a data-gathering tool to help you understand the human environment that you're in and to help you make better decisions and make those you work with feel like you genuinely value them. And third, top leaders
- 6:33 – 7:04
How to make people feel valued (Part 3): Care beyond job titles to build authentic connection
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
care about people beyond the job title. In a work environment, it's really easy to see someone as their job title and their responsibilities: the HR lady, the IT guys, the marketer. But people are so much more than what they do for work. People have entire lives outside of the workplace, and servant leaders care about someone beyond just what they're paid to do at work. They remember details about people's personal lives, like when a team member's son is starting his first day at kindergarten, or when someone else's grandmother had her 80th birthday, and they ask
- 7:04 – 7:41
Wrap-up: applying the three principles to avoid becoming a ‘hated manager’
- SZDr. Shadé Zahrai
about these things, showing a real genuine interest. This quickly breaks down barriers and encourages real, authentic connection, which goes a long way to make people feel valued. So there you have my three favorite principles to supercharge your leadership, and they're things anyone can do if they really make the effort and focus on the value people bring. I really hope they help you on your leadership journey. I'm Shadé Zahrai. I'll see you next time. [outro music]
Episode duration: 7:42
Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript
Transcript of episode dEtLXHaSFng
