To Communicate with Confidence, DO THESE 5 THINGS! (for Introverts)

1. 0:00 – 2:08

   Intro - The importance of confident communication at work

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:00

      Over the years of coaching professionals, I've noticed that one of the things that holds people back from advancing in their careers is around how confident they feel at work and how much confidence others have in them. And largely, this confidence comes from how competent you are at your job, whether you do it well, but also whether you're able to communicate your thoughts clearly and articulately. I've seen countless professionals who are extremely competent, but struggling with gaining cut-through at work because they're softly spoken, or they're overly considerate in their approach, which doesn't get them the respect that they require to be taken seriously. And it's a huge shame because your ability to be heard is directly linked to how confident you appear, which is linked again to how competent you appear. Without perceived competence, you don't have the visibility you need to move forward in your career. So in this video, I'm going to share with you five tips to help you boost your communication abilities and improve how you articulate your thoughts so that you're heard, respected, and gain the visibility that you need for career acceleration. Hi, I'm Shadé Zarriah, and I help professionals to hack their careers, overcome their limiting beliefs, and confidently create the extraordinary life they deserve. Now, there may have been a time at work when you self-censored what you wanted to say because you weren't sure if it was correct, or maybe you weren't sure how people would respond, or whether it would be a silly thing to say in the first place. It might have been when you were in a team meeting, talking to coworkers, maybe having a one-to-one with your manager, maybe even in a presentation or even during an interview. But by doing this and silencing your voice, you're limiting your ability to be heard and recognized as a valuable contributor to your team and your company. With many of our clients, we've had to explore strategies to help them articulate themselves clearly, to structure their thoughts, and to speak with confidence so that they gain the respect that they deserve. And it's been incredible to see the impact that this has on how they're perceived by their coworkers, their team members, and their managers. Finally, they're being recognized for what they've been delivering

2. 2:08 – 3:10

   5 Tips to confident communication

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:08

      all along. So here are five simple tips to help you communicate more clearly and effectively, leading to greater confidence at work. First, stop thinking about yourself. Many professionals have shared with us that they get nervous when they're sharing something because they're focusing entirely on how they're being perceived. They have thoughts running around their heads like, "I hope I'm making sense. I hope they agree. I hope I sound competent." However, by focusing on you, you're increasing the amount of pressure on yourself, and it takes you away mentally from what you're sharing and instead puts you in your head. To others, you might appear to look uncertain or nervous, which actually strips you of your power, and it results in others focusing not on what you're saying, but on how you're saying it. So stop thinking about yourself and instead think about the message that you're conveying and the impact that you want it to have. Project your voice and be clear in your words. Keep your body and your frame open to whoever you're talking to, and it instantly projects confidence and assuredness, even if you may not be feeling

3. 3:10 – 4:30

   Tip 2: Figure out what you want to say

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:10

      it. Second, figure out what you want to say. This point is all around having a point of view. Have an informed perspective that takes what you know and applies it to the agenda at hand. But what happens when you don't know much about the topic or you don't really know how to contribute? This is where a lot of people get stuck. A really useful tool where you don't know what to add is actually to ask a considered and thoughtful question. Questions asked in the right moment can help to move things forward and can prompt people to reflect on things in a way that they may not have done previously. So don't get hung up on needing to provide a brilliant analysis or a mind-blowing insight. Sometimes it's as simple as asking the questions that others aren't even thinking about. Even something as simple as, "Jason, that's a really interesting perspective. How did you come up with that?" Another tip here is to come armed with evidence. Let's say that you feel people aren't listening to you when you share, or they're dismissing your thoughts. If you feel that your idea isn't getting the attention it deserves, bring in a third party. This means to frame it up with evidence. Are you referring to studies, to statistics, what the head of the risk team told you? For example, the recent industry report showed, the statistics highlight, Joe, the head of risk, shared with me that... When you lead with third-party evidence, you'll automatically gain the attention of others.

4. 4:30 – 6:12

   Tip 3: Avoid the verbal mistakes

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:30

      Third, learn to avoid the verbal mistakes. The most common verbal mistakes when it comes to communication are speaking too quietly or too quickly, and even discounting what we say with a disclaimer. You might preface what you're about to say with, "This might be a silly idea," or, "I might be wrong here, but..." When you do this, you are stripping yourself of your power and planting a seed in the minds of others that you don't have conviction in what you're saying, which makes them lose respect very quickly. When you're nervous, you'll also speed up how quickly you speak, and you might not use pauses effectively. So to combat this, you want to actually speak slightly slower than you might ordinarily and make sure that you leave time to actually breathe between phrases and sentences for greater impact and credibility. Not only does this help you regain your thoughts, but it actually gives your audience time to digest what you're sharing. During these pauses, you want to make sure that you're maintaining eye contact too for even greater impact. The fourth tip is don't wait until you know all the answers. If you're a perfectionist or someone who has a fear of social rejection, you might hold yourself back until you're 100% certain that what you're contributing is correct, the right answer, the best possible answer. But this is setting up an impossible standard, and what ends up happening is that you silence your voice, you hold back your perspectives and your thoughts, and then someone else around the meeting room says exactly what you were going to say and gets all the credit. So you want to learn to simply speak up. You won't have all the answers. You may say something that's not correct. But that's okay. Just have confidence in your perspectives because they're as valid as anyone else's.

5. 6:12 – 8:21

   Tip 5: Structure your responses

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai6:12

      And tip number five is all about structuring your responses. This final tip is really an important one because often what happens when you're feeling a little nervous or anxious about communicating is that you don't structure what you're saying, so you might end up saying way too much, sharing irrelevant information, or not end up conveying what you wanted to. So when you're about to share something, make sure you frame it up with three parts. First, you want to provide context. For example, "Building on what Simon shared earlier, I want to make a connection with the project we're working on." Here, you're reminding people of why your comment is relevant and how it fits in. Another example: "I was asked to review the minutes from last meeting, and I noticed that..." Again, here you're reminding people of why you're sharing what you're sharing. Next, you share whatever it is you need to share. This will differ depending on what it is that you're sharing, whether it's a perspective or even a thoughtful question. And then third, you want to wrap it up somehow. What is your intended outcome? What do you want people to do? Do you want to encourage discussion, or are you seeking a response? This part applies to both statements and to questions. For example, you provide your context, share what you need to, and then wrap up with, "So it would be worthwhile for us to discuss this at our next meeting." Or, "Would anyone have the answer or be able to point me in the right direction?" Or even, "How does that sound to everyone?" Now, this third part may not apply to every possible scenario. For example, if you're just sharing a perspective, like, "I prefer the first option," but it's still really useful to keep in mind how you can frame up your responses to help people on the journey and to help you structure your thoughts for greater credibility. So remember, context, then share, then wrap up. So there are my five tips to communicate with confidence to help you sound more clear, articulate, more authoritative, and more credible at work. Thanks for tuning in. I'm Shadé Zarriah, and I'll see you next time. [outro music]

Episode duration: 8:21