The Devastating Note That Nearly Made Adam Grant Quit Teaching

He described seeing his hands shake before he even felt anxious, then noticing racing heart and shallow breathing that made it hard to speak coherently. Rehearsing repeatedly in real audience settings functioned like “exposure therapy” and reduced the panic response over time.

He intentionally chose guest lectures that felt high-pressure in the moment but wouldn’t affect his future (students “didn't have any real say over my future”). He framed this as the ideal practice environment: embarrassing in the present, but with “no lasting cost.”

He said he believed he needed confidence before acting, then realized it was backward: taking action and “doing the reps” created confidence. As he got less uncomfortable, he became more spontaneous and responsive to the room, improving connection and “the vibe.”

After harsh Air Force evaluations, he wanted to quit, but a subsequent shift helped: instead of asking for feedback, he asked for advice—specific suggestions for next time. He argued feedback is backward-looking, while advice is forward-looking and more actionable.

An Air Force leader suggested he acknowledge being junior rather than trying to prove himself, so he opened with a self-deprecating line about looking “12 years old,” which broke the ice and changed the tone. He described this as showing humility and laughing at himself to improve connection.