Christiana Gave Birth (Again)! | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

Trevor Noah 0:00 [upbeat music] This is What Now? With Trevor Noah.

Speaker 0:08 [upbeat music] I need to get into MMA. I need to... I, I want more hobbies. Yeah. What I... 'Cause like- Is MMA a hobby? No to watch, 'cause I've been watching- Oh, to watch ... football's depre- the Premiership is depressing for a United fan. Well, the Premiership is not depressing. [laughs] For a United fan. There we go. Say it with your chest. [laughs] Say it with your chest. It's a hard time. I've been- [laughs] Yeah ... I've been introducing... So I have all these Man U kits for the, for the kids. Mm-hmm. 'Cause one of my good friends sent them, Femi, and he's Nigerian, so he's like, "There was a time when this meant excellence." [laughs] And he's like, "I feel ashamed that I'm sending you- Yeah ... your kids this thing that means they're losers." I mean- I mean, it's, it's the same as when you get, um, the,

Speaker 0:57 the outfit of a fighter and they get popped for steroids that week, and you're like, "Ugh, I just already ordered the... " Mm. Just like, wear it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Fighters have kits? No. Uh, kind of. You can get, you can get, like, the, uh, whatchuma call it, like the outfit that their team wears in the walkout. Oh, okay. So you can get the zip-up- I did not know ... and the pants and everything. Oh, I didn't know that. And you can get, and then you can get their personal merch, too. Yeah. But because they can't have all independent, like Puma, Nike, whatever- Yeah, yeah, yeah ... they can have the UFC official thing, and then everything else is from their site. So then some people make, like, their own kit that you can buy. Yeah. And you'll, like, buy, you'll buy the kit, and then it'll be like, "The fight is off due to, uh, a high volume- [laughs] ... of HGH found in his system," and now you're wearing the kit, and you're like... [laughs] Uh- I feel like, you know, I was, I was thinking that, so, um, I, I'm a Liverpool fan, and not just because it's going well now. We've had some tough times. That's why I feel for you. I mean, it was good under Klopp as well. Yeah, but, uh, I was around before that. Okay. I was around when we were still, like, scrounging around. Do you know what I mean? I, I haven't been the longest Liverpool fan, but, um, I've been a fan for long enough that I, I don't remember, like, winning things. Okay. Do you know what I mean? I remember your, your glory days. So Gerrard, so, like, Gerrard. Even be- [laughs] Yeah, like, well, not before Gerrard. [laughs] But I mean, like- Yeah ... 'cause there was, like, the peak Gerrard- Yeah ... where he was crushing it, and then he had the slip- Yeah ... which, you know, ended it for us very painfully. But, um, yeah, but I was, like, around. You know what I was actually thinking, funny enough, is I was going, like... I, I, I found myself thinking that sports in that way is in some ways, like, the perfect analogy for, for nation-states. Okay. You know? Mm-hmm. Like, if you think about it, right now America is the Man United of the world. Oh, God, that's, that's hard to hear as a United- [laughs] Oh, I didn't know which way you were gonna take that. [laughs] No, but it's true. It's true. It's true. Think of, think about it. Oh, my God. No, okay. I hope my dads are not listening. Think, think about this. This is so offending. Think about this, right? Whether you like America or not, you have to admit there was a point where America was champion

Speaker 3:01 of the world- Yeah ... without, like, no hesita- you name it, you know, music, sport, culture, politics- Mm ... diplomacy, the- Yeah ... like, it was just like America is the country of the world. No one doubted it. Mm-hmm. You went anywhere in the world and you said, "Where do you wanna go?" America. [laughs] You know what I mean? Yeah. Didn't matter what country you went to. America. Yeah. That was like the thing. And then, I don't know, I don't know when I would say the first, like, little slip w-... Maybe- When Obama left. No, no, I think it was, I think before then. I think, like, I think, okay, for me personally, around, like, 9/11. I was just about to say 9/11. Like, when Bush, when Bush started bombing the world was the first time where I noticed people go- Oh, you mean that... Yeah. That was the, that was the first, like, huh. Oh, I, I, I was thinking about when, like, 'cause this is so dark, because I moved to America after Bush started bombing the world, right? Yeah. So I'm saying, as an outsider, when did you consider, like, maybe I don't wanna live there anymore? [laughs] Mm. Mm. Obama was a Brit- you're like, oh, I wanna move to a place where Obama can become president. Obama in this case is like Alex Ferguson. Yes, yes, yes. We're talking about Manchester United. Yeah. And then when Obama ends and, you know, if you follow the American story, you assumed it would be Hillary. Yes. And then Trump comes in. As an outsider, you're like, hmm, maybe I wanna reconsider. I don't know, though. That's what I feel from... 'Cause, like, it's kinda dark, but, like, the war in Iraq, European countries were involved in that. Like, I, as a Brit- Yeah, that's true ... that's what I'm thinking. That's true. I'm thinking. But you, I think you could be right, Trevor. Maybe I was just very selfish and blinkered. I was like, this still- I mean- I still wanna go to a place where- As the, as the- ... war criminal's the president ... only American here, Josh, what do you, what do you think? I'm not a well-traveled person. That's not true. No, no. Josh, come on. At the time of 9/11. Oh, okay, okay. At the time of 9/11. Okay. I was 11. I was not a well-traveled- [laughs] ... individual. You know what I mean? But- Most people would say, "I was a child." Sure, sure. But Josh is still, Josh judges himself as an 11-year-old, like a kid. But I was like, I w- like, when 9/11 happened, I remember being scared, and then what I started to understand when I was in college, so, like, we're talking, like, 20, uh, like, like, in 2012, I was like... Like, I, I guess I only saw it through media. Yeah. So in, in American media, you see other countries wishing they could come here, wishing that they could, or, or even saying American propaganda out loud in their home country of, like, "But, uh, we're not America, though," right? Yeah. And then when I got older and I was in college and I would take in more media, that was when I was like, the perception is changing, and I had friends who do, who did travel who told people they were Canadian. And, like, when they went- Oh ... to certain places, and I was like- Interesting ... "Oh, okay." Like, 'cause that wouldn't have even occurred to me- No ... 'cause I hadn't traveled much yet. The, and so I would say, though, to Christiana's point, when you really look at the, the worldview of, um, America after Obama entering Trump, Trump had this weird way of, like, I d- I don't know if I have the words for it exactly, but he had this weird way of, like, bringing things to fruition, but it was him that did it, so then he would be like- Yeah ... "America's looking at us as a joke." Yes, yes. But we became a joke. Yeah. Yeah Do you know what I mean? He was a, he was a prophet who made his own prophecies come true.

Trevor Noah 6:15 Yeah.

Speaker 6:15 Yeah.

Speaker 6:15 Essentially.

Speaker 6:16 Yeah.

Speaker 6:16 That's, that's what Trump does.

Trevor Noah 6:17 Yeah.

Speaker 6:17 Like, he literally, I don't know if you remember that clip. He's like, "The American dream is dead."

Speaker 6:21 [laughs]

Speaker 6:22 [laughs] It's like-

Trevor Noah 6:23 [laughs]

Speaker 6:25 Sir-

Speaker 6:25 Sir, what are you doing?

Trevor Noah 6:26 But you know, you know what, you know what has been illuminating for me is how Trump has changed one thing f- f- in my experience when I travel, he's changed one thing fundamentally about America, and that is before Trump, most places in the world I went to saw America as America.

Speaker 6:45 Mm.

Trevor Noah 6:45 They hated America or they liked America, but that's how they spoke about America. Now Trump has sort of, has sort of exported American politics to the world.

Speaker 6:54 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 6:55 So I go to countries where some people like Trump-

Speaker 6:58 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 6:58 ... and then some people don't like Trump, but they don't, they no longer have, like, a singular view of America. Does, does that make sense?

Speaker 7:04 Yeah.

Speaker 7:04 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 7:04 So even in South Africa the other day, I was ... I got pulled over by a policeman. It's very common there.

Speaker 7:08 Mm.

Trevor Noah 7:08 This is like, it's not like in, in America-

Speaker 7:10 Yeah

Trevor Noah 7:10 ... where your life starts flashing before your eyes.

Speaker 7:12 Yeah. [laughs]

Speaker 7:12 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 7:12 Like, in South Africa, you get pulled over almost just for, like, a conversation.

Speaker 7:16 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 7:16 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 7:16 Sometimes they just wanna look at your car, to be honest with you.

Speaker 7:18 [laughs] Yeah.

Trevor Noah 7:18 You know, they'll just pull you over and be like, "Ah, brother, what, what is this?"

Speaker 7:21 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 7:22 And you're like, "Oh, yeah," and you, you like, "Ah, it's nice, it's nice. I like it. Okay."

Speaker 7:25 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 7:26 So I got pulled over the other day, and the cops, straight up, guy op- I roll down the window. He's like, "License." Then he sees me, and then he's like, "Ah, Trevor." He's like, "Hey, my man, what are you doing here?" I'm like, "What do you mean? I'm, I'm home." He's like, "Ah, my man, you should be there in America."

Speaker 7:40 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 7:40 "Elon Musk, what is he doing to us?"

Speaker 7:42 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 7:43 "Why is he doing these things to South Africans? No, Trevor. Aye, but Trump. But Trump."

Speaker 7:48 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 7:48 Guys, there was no time in my life-

Speaker 7:51 Yeah.

Speaker 7:51 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 7:51 ... where a South African man, in my, in my entire recollection-

Speaker 7:56 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 7:56 ... was speaking about the individuals in American politics.

Speaker 8:00 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 8:01 You know what I mean?

Speaker 8:01 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 8:01 Even when Bush was, like, bombing the Middle East, w- we said America.

Speaker 8:07 Oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 8:08 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 8:08 It, it wasn't, it wasn't like Bush. People were like, "Man, what America's doing. America's going up against the United Nations."

Speaker 8:13 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 8:13 "America's ignoring this. America's waging a fake war." America.

Speaker 8:17 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 8:18 Now I find everywhere in the world there's a break. There's Trump, and there's not Trump.

Speaker 8:25 Yeah.

Speaker 8:26 Yeah.

Speaker 8:26 Yeah.

Speaker 8:27 I think Obama did that but in a different way. Obama made America look so cool and like it could, like, remake itself in a certain way.

Trevor Noah 8:34 That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 8:34 'Cause I remember there was, like, years ago when he was, the first time he ran, and they did, like, a poll in Europe about if Obama ran versus, I think it was McCain or-

Trevor Noah 8:44 Yeah, the first-

Speaker 8:44 ... whoever it was the first time, what would the voice ... It was, like, 95% Obama. [laughs] Like, it w- th- f- the rest of the world, it's a, a no-brainer. Like, this guy is great. His wife is beautiful.

Trevor Noah 8:54 I love that Europe, like, who has never had, like, a Black president-

Speaker 8:57 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8:58 Yeah.

Speaker 8:58 They don't want their own one.

Trevor Noah 8:59 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8:59 They want the American one.

Speaker 9:00 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 9:00 They were like, "Yeah, yeah. Well, of course it makes sense."

Speaker 9:02 [laughs]

Speaker 9:02 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 9:02 "It's time to have some change, you know?"

Speaker 9:04 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 9:04 "How can America not have ..." And then you're like, "What about you guys?" "Oh, yeah."

Speaker 9:07 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Trevor Noah 9:07 "Well, let's, let's calm down, yeah?"

Speaker 9:09 Yeah.

Speaker 9:09 Yeah. No, it feels like dating in high school, where you're, where there's always that one person that's like, "Oh, you're so sweet, and you'll find someone."

Trevor Noah 9:16 [laughs]

Speaker 9:16 So it's like, "What about you?"

Speaker 9:17 [laughs]

Speaker 9:17 "Oh."

Trevor Noah 9:17 [laughs]

Speaker 9:20 [laughs]

Speaker 9:21 "Uh, no. You'll find," I said, "someone."

Trevor Noah 9:24 Yes.

Speaker 9:24 I, I-

Trevor Noah 9:25 I didn't mean it like that, Josh

Speaker 9:26 ... yeah.

Speaker 9:26 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 9:26 Oh, no. I didn't, I didn't mean it like that.

Speaker 9:28 No, no, no.

Speaker 9:28 It's that.

Speaker 9:29 Yeah.

Speaker 9:29 It's basically that. I think O-

Speaker 9:30 That's so funny, though

Speaker 9:31 ... yeah. Feels like Obama did that, and then Trump's done it the other way, but that's why I think they're twin flames, you know? I have this whole theory-

Speaker 9:38 Oh, you do?

Speaker 9:38 ... about in past, yeah-

Trevor Noah 9:39 Oh. Yeah

Speaker 9:39 ... in a past life-

Speaker 9:40 No

Speaker 9:40 ... they came together. They're-

Speaker 9:41 Oh, wait

Speaker 9:41 ... there's something about them.

Speaker 9:42 Oh, okay. You're talking about a different thing.

Speaker 9:43 No.

Speaker 9:44 Well, I think we're-

Speaker 9:44 I think we're talking about the same thing-

Speaker 9:45 [laughs]

Speaker 9:45 ... but I'm talking about the witchy version.

Speaker 9:46 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9:47 And you're talking about the sensible version. Trump is America's id.

Speaker 9:50 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 9:50 But, like, um, Obama is-

Speaker 9:52 Oh, I'm loving this

Speaker 9:52 ... Obama is who America likes to think they are.

Speaker 9:55 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 9:55 'Cause it's like the performance of goodness.

Speaker 9:57 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9:58 The good side, 'cause I think Obama performs as a good person as well, and-

Speaker 10:01 Okay

Speaker 10:01 ... he probably is a bit of an asshole.

Speaker 10:02 Okay.

Speaker 10:02 I would be, too, in private, but, like, he is, like, humble in public. And then Trump is the dark side, so they're like the darkness and the light. And, you know, there's an overlap in their voters, right?

Speaker 10:12 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10:12 The same people that voted for Obama-

Speaker 10:14 No, that's very true

Speaker 10:14 ... also, uh, voted for Trump in these sw- swing states.

Speaker 10:17 Hmm. Yeah.

Speaker 10:18 He's appealing to the same parts of themselves but just the dark and the light.

Speaker 10:22 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10:22 That's my, that's my theory.

Speaker 10:23 He is-

Trevor Noah 10:24 Maybe America should only just have two presidents then forever, and you switch them back, switch back and forth between them.

Speaker 10:28 That would make it simpler.

Speaker 10:29 It would make it simpler.

Trevor Noah 10:30 No, basically you just ask-

Speaker 10:31 Yeah

Trevor Noah 10:31 ... America.

Speaker 10:31 Yeah

Trevor Noah 10:31 ... and you just go, like-

Speaker 10:32 Yeah

Trevor Noah 10:32 ... "Guys, what are we feeling like?"

Speaker 10:33 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 10:33 "Are we feeling dark times?"

Speaker 10:34 [laughs]

Speaker 10:34 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 10:35 "Or are we feeling ... What are we feeling like?"

Speaker 10:36 Hopeful. Hopeful.

Speaker 10:37 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 10:37 "Are we feeling hopeful?"

Speaker 10:38 No, that's very true.

Trevor Noah 10:38 Hopeful, hopeful president.

Speaker 10:40 [laughs]

Speaker 10:40 Because I do, and people always take it the wrong way when I say it, but maybe y'all will at least get it-

Speaker 10:46 Yeah

Speaker 10:46 ... that Trump is white Obama. He's Obama for white people-

Trevor Noah 10:52 Yes.

Speaker 10:52 Yeah

Speaker 10:52 ... who hated-

Trevor Noah 10:53 Open change

Speaker 10:53 ... the idea of Obama.

Speaker 10:55 Oh, open change.

Trevor Noah 10:56 Yeah.

Speaker 10:56 Yeah.

Speaker 10:56 Yeah. And it's like, that to me is why I think people keep underestimating him because I'm like, "You guys aren't ready for, like ... Okay, I ... The ... You, you may need to cut this whole thing. Who knows?"

Speaker 11:08 [laughs]

Speaker 11:08 But I think that there's a, there is a, a thing that is baked into America's understanding of the experience of a Black person. So whether it's true or not, or whether it applies to every person or not, there's a story that people are told about you before they meet you as, like, a Black American. It's like your ancestors were slaves.

Trevor Noah 11:27 Okay.

Speaker 11:27 You have to struggle, but you always make it through. And, like, you had to avoid, like, crime and drugs and getting somebody pregnant just to be where I am right now as, like, a, like, a white person.

Trevor Noah 11:37 Yeah.

Speaker 11:37 So just to be my coworker-

Speaker 11:38 Mm

Speaker 11:38 ... you had to overcome all this stuff. It's like every one of your stories is like an Oscar movie. That's why we keep giving you the Oscar-

Speaker 11:44 Mm-hmm

Speaker 11:44 ... every time it's sad, right?

Speaker 11:46 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 11:46 And now you're living in a world where those, there's so many cracks in that thing, not just because there are Black people who are like, "No, I grew up in the suburbs all my life-

Speaker 11:54 Yeah

Speaker 11:54 ... and my dad's a doctor," but now you have white people who are, who literally are that story, but no one tells it in that way. So, so they're-

Trevor Noah 12:04 I know what you're saying

Speaker 12:05 ... so they're like, they're like, "Okay, you know, my great-great-grandparents were these Irish immigrants. They got spit on when they came here and everything, and I have a lot of, like, uh, uh, drugs and crime where I'm from." Like, people always make it Appalachia, but it's like, guys, it's everywhere.

Trevor Noah 12:20 It is everywhere.

Speaker 12:20 Yeah.

Speaker 12:20 It's everywhere.

Speaker 12:21 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 12:21 And so it's like my family was on food stamps, my family, all, all the stuff like that, as a white person, which is, like, never really talked about. And so then this person had to overcome a lot just to be next to this other white person, right?

Trevor Noah 12:33 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 12:33 And, and Trump speaks to that the way that, that Obama spoke to Black people who may or may have not been having that, like, stereotypical experience.

Trevor Noah 12:42 Right.

Speaker 12:42 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 12:42 And that is so powerful. It, it feels weird to tell white people that they don't understand white people, but white people who are, like, l- the living embodiment of everything we've been told Black people go through, I understand better than, like, white people who have always had it. If that makes sense.

Trevor Noah 12:57 It makes sense-

Speaker 12:58 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 12:58 ... because I, America more than most countries in the world has told people what their life should be and what it could be.

Speaker 13:06 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 13:07 Right?

Speaker 13:07 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 13:07 There's no other country that goes like the pursuit of happiness.

Speaker 13:10 Which is an insane, like-

Trevor Noah 13:11 It's a crazy concept

Speaker 13:12 ... in most cultures, they don't even believe in happiness.

Trevor Noah 13:14 [laughs] Yes.

Speaker 13:15 Like, if I told my dad I wanted to be... Like, I think I told my dad that once, or it was my mom. I said, "I wanna be happy," and my mom-

Speaker 13:19 Yeah

Speaker 13:19 ... was like, "Is that it?"

Trevor Noah 13:20 Yeah. [laughs]

Speaker 13:21 It was like, "Is that all you-"

Speaker 13:22 That is a wild-

Trevor Noah 13:22 But that is a wild concept

Speaker 13:22 ... "Is that all you want for yourself?"

Speaker 13:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 13:24 That is a wild concept.

Speaker 13:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 13:25 If you said that to your parents-

Speaker 13:26 Yeah

Trevor Noah 13:26 ... most African parents, be like, "You want to be happy?" Then they're like, "Happy?"

Speaker 13:28 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 13:28 "Happy? Go and study something."

Speaker 13:30 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 13:31 "Are you going to be successful? You know what is happy? You leave me happy. Are you married?"

Speaker 13:34 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 13:35 "Do you have children?" You know what I mean? Like-

Speaker 13:36 Yeah

Trevor Noah 13:36 ... like, what is, happy is a moment.

Speaker 13:38 My-

Speaker 13:38 Mm-hmm

Speaker 13:38 ... my friend's sister said, "Was Jesus happy?" [laughs]

Trevor Noah 13:40 Yeah. But, but like-

Speaker 13:41 That is one of the wildest things I've ever heard-

Trevor Noah 13:44 [laughs]

Speaker 13:44 [laughs]

Speaker 13:44 ... in my entire life. That, wow.

Speaker 13:47 Yeah. She was making a big life choice. She's like-

Trevor Noah 13:49 No, but-

Speaker 13:49 ... "I'm not happy." She's like, "Was Jesus happy?"

Trevor Noah 13:50 Yes.

Speaker 13:51 She's just like, "You-"

Trevor Noah 13:51 But, but okay, but think of it this way, right? Most cultures in the world-

Speaker 13:55 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 13:55 ... will believe that happiness is a state of mind, and it's a moment.

Speaker 13:59 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:00 You're not, you are, you are happy. You're, you're not, like, permanently-

Speaker 14:03 Mm

Trevor Noah 14:04 ... in a state of happiness.

Speaker 14:05 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 14:05 Does that make sense?

Speaker 14:06 And you shouldn't pursue it. It's like-

Trevor Noah 14:07 Yeah

Speaker 14:07 ... it's like-

Trevor Noah 14:08 Exactly

Speaker 14:08 ... pursuing pleasure. It's kinda decadent.

Trevor Noah 14:10 It is.

Speaker 14:10 Right?

Trevor Noah 14:10 It is.

Speaker 14:11 Mm.

Trevor Noah 14:11 Right? But America's the only country that did that, and so in many ways you have a country where they've told you what is supposed to happen to you, what you're supposed to experience. And so if you're not experiencing that, you're butting up against the... So it's like, it's, it's, it's the, you know, 14-day money back guarantee.

Speaker 14:29 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:30 Think about how many people in America are going, "But this is not what I was promised."

Speaker 14:32 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 14:33 And to your point, exactly what you're saying.

Speaker 14:35 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:35 Trump is going, "You haven't gotten your, your delivery."

Speaker 14:38 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:39 "You haven't gotten the service."

Speaker 14:40 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:40 You know what I mean? "You're supposed to get this thing."

Speaker 14:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 14:42 "But you haven't gotten it."

Speaker 14:44 Mm.

Trevor Noah 14:44 And then those people are standing up, and then other white people are like, "But why don't they just, why don't they just..." And it's like, yeah, you say that.

Speaker 14:50 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:50 But these white people are going, "Why has it not happened for me?"

Speaker 14:55 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 14:55 And Obama did the same thing.

Trevor Noah 14:57 Yeah.

Speaker 14:57 He said America has failed on its promise, but yes we can.

Trevor Noah 15:00 Yes we can.

Speaker 15:01 He was very-

Speaker 15:02 Yeah. Yeah

Speaker 15:02 ... in a, it's the same-

Trevor Noah 15:03 And it's like-

Speaker 15:04 ... it's the dark or the light.

Trevor Noah 15:05 Yes.

Speaker 15:06 But, yeah, but the people, whenever I say white Obama, everyone's mad. Everybody, everybody's like-

Trevor Noah 15:13 Rightfully so

Speaker 15:14 ... "What do you mean?"

Trevor Noah 15:14 Yeah.

Speaker 15:14 "What are you talking about?" I'm like, "Yeah, b-" And then I explain the whole thing. They're like, "No." And I'm like, "I, I understand why-

Trevor Noah 15:21 No, because you lead, Josh. If you start with white Obama, I can see people immediately, viscerally. It's, look, in the world of stand-up-

Speaker 15:28 Yeah

Trevor Noah 15:28 ... it's brilliant as a premise.

Speaker 15:29 Yeah.

Speaker 15:29 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 15:30 As, like, a concept, but obvious- most of the time, a great premise in stand-up is terrible for regular conversation.

Speaker 15:35 In real life, yeah.

Speaker 15:36 Yeah, no, that's fair.

Trevor Noah 15:36 'Cause imagine if you came to somebody and you're like, "Yeah, in many ways he's like Muslim Jesus."

Speaker 15:41 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 15:42 People are like, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Speaker 15:43 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 15:44 You can't take-

Speaker 15:45 Yeah

Trevor Noah 15:45 ... someone who people love and revere-

Speaker 15:47 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 15:48 ... and then compare them immediately to somebody they hate, and not expect them-

Speaker 15:52 To have a reaction

Trevor Noah 15:52 ... to be a little bit-

Speaker 15:53 Yeah

Trevor Noah 15:53 ... reactive. [laughs]

Speaker 15:55 No, I, I guess I'm, I'm surprised how much everybody hates it in that I still have friends from Louisiana who voted for Trump and stuff like that.

Trevor Noah 16:03 Yeah.

Speaker 16:03 And then when I say he's white Obama, they're like, "What?"

Trevor Noah 16:05 Yeah, but that's what I mean.

Speaker 16:06 And I'm like, I'm like-

Speaker 16:07 Both sides do that

Speaker 16:07 ... that, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 16:08 Yeah.

Speaker 16:08 I'm like, I can understand my liberal friends getting mad.

Trevor Noah 16:10 No.

Speaker 16:11 But then everyone's mad.

Trevor Noah 16:12 No, it's worse the other way around.

Speaker 16:13 Yeah. No, no, that's fair.

Trevor Noah 16:14 How dare you?

Speaker 16:14 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 16:15 You're gonna call this man white Obama?

Speaker 16:17 But can I tell you, he is doing everything, well, Trump is doing everything that they told us a Black president would do.

Trevor Noah 16:24 Yes.

Speaker 16:24 This man has his-

Trevor Noah 16:25 Everything

Speaker 16:25 ... own coin two days before-

Trevor Noah 16:28 [laughs]

Speaker 16:28 [laughs]

Speaker 16:28 ... and then, and then fleecing everybody.

Trevor Noah 16:31 [laughs]

Speaker 16:31 And then it dips, and he don't even mention it. They asked him in the press conference when he already is, like, is, I, I won't say promising, but when he's, when he's already jump-starting this, like, $500 billion project for all of these AI, uh, CEOs before DeepSeek comes out-

Trevor Noah 16:47 Yeah

Speaker 16:47 ... and they're like, "What about your coin?" And he's like, "I don't know. How much did it make?"

Speaker 16:51 [laughs]

Speaker 16:51 And then they, and then they tell him. He's like, "Oh, that's peanuts to these guys." I'm like,

Speaker 16:56 why you let this dude deflect in real ti- That's, that's a pimp move to just be like, "I don't know. Who stole from me?" While holding the bag. That's crazy.

Trevor Noah 17:05 I have been, surprised might be the wrong word, but it's the only one I can think of right now. I've been surprised at how, just, like, the lack of robustness in America's systems.

Speaker 17:25 Like the institutions.

Trevor Noah 17:25 You know what I mean? Yeah. You, you take for granted how much of America is run like the game of golf.

Speaker 17:31 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 17:32 It's just an agreement.

Speaker 17:34 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 17:34 Yeah.

Speaker 17:34 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 17:35 You, you're gonna keep your score, right?

Speaker 17:36 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 17:36 You, you, you'll tell us where your ball landed, right?

Speaker 17:39 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 17:39 Yeah, of course, of course.

Speaker 17:40 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 17:40 Yeah. And you, you're not gonna move the ball when you get there, right? No, no, no, no, no. All right, and you, but you, oh, you keep your own score. Think about how crazy golf is as a game.

Speaker 17:48 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 17:49 Everyone is out there competing against each other. Everyone keeps their own score.

Speaker 17:54 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 17:55 You hit the ball, it goes somewhere. You then tell people where your ball was.

Speaker 17:59 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 18:01 If you move it, nobody knows, which by the way, fun fact, Trump does all the time. Yeah, yeah

Speaker 18:05 Of course he does

Trevor Noah 18:06 ... in actual golf.

Speaker 18:06 Of course he does

Trevor Noah 18:07 In actual golf.

Speaker 18:08 Yeah.

Speaker 18:08 Yeah.

Speaker 18:09 He would.

Trevor Noah 18:09 You, you, you don't move the ball if you do. But all of this, and people keep their own scores, and the game is basically run. There's all the rules, but a lot of the game is just a handshake.

Speaker 18:17 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 18:17 It's a gentleman's agreement.

Speaker 18:19 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 18:20 And I, I, I've, I've been surprised to see how much of America is just a gentleman's agreement.

Speaker 18:24 Also, I, I mean, I'm saying this as a Brit, how much is just ultimately resolved in court?

Trevor Noah 18:29 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 18:29 And then there's a different court.

Trevor Noah 18:30 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 18:31 So then it goes to a, an-

Speaker 18:32 Man

Speaker 18:32 ... a court in, like, this district says-

Trevor Noah 18:34 No, America just sues itself.

Speaker 18:35 Yeah. It just keeps-

Speaker 18:36 Yeah

Speaker 18:36 ... su- And then s- it's always the-

Trevor Noah 18:37 It's completely

Speaker 18:37 ... judges who are like-

Speaker 18:38 Yeah

Speaker 18:38 ... "I'll tell you-"

Speaker 18:39 No

Speaker 18:39 ... "Yes or no."

Trevor Noah 18:39 I'll take you to court.

Speaker 18:40 Yeah.

Speaker 18:40 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 18:40 I'll take you to court.

Speaker 18:41 So Trump does a thing, and then now I've realized, just wait to see what happens in court.

Trevor Noah 18:45 You have to wait for the final-

Speaker 18:46 Yeah

Trevor Noah 18:46 ... court, though.

Speaker 18:47 Yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 18:47 It's like, which court does it go to?

Speaker 18:48 Yeah.

Speaker 18:48 And then it's frozen because of something that happens in court. So I'm like, I'm not saying not being a president is powerful, because we've seen how much it can shape the world. But now I'm like, oh, everything happens in court in this country.

Trevor Noah 18:58 Yes.

Speaker 18:58 It's like the judges-

Speaker 18:59 Yeah. I think also for your, for your analogy of, like, the gentleman's agreement thing, it's like that's also how our corruption is supposed to work. So when you're playing golf, and you're keeping your own score, and you're not gonna move the ball, everybody moves it a little bit. Trump moves it-

Trevor Noah 19:15 Oh, I love that

Speaker 19:15 ... out of the water.

Trevor Noah 19:16 Yeah, actually, I-

Speaker 19:16 Yeah.

Speaker 19:17 Like-

Trevor Noah 19:17 No, you are wrong

Speaker 19:17 ... we all watched it go in the water. And then he dove in. Well, he didn't dive, but he got someone to dive in-

Trevor Noah 19:21 [laughs]

Speaker 19:22 ... hand him the ball, and then he threw it in the green. And then he goes, "That's where my ball was the whole time." And then because we don't really understand how to, like, combat that, we're like, "I guess that's where his ball was the whole time."

Speaker 19:34 I mean, yeah.

Speaker 19:34 That's actually, that's maybe I'm crazy-

Trevor Noah 19:35 Great, that's a great addition to the analogy

Speaker 19:36 ... but I thought it went-

Speaker 19:36 Yeah

Speaker 19:37 ... to the water.

Speaker 19:37 He-

Speaker 19:38 And so then because a- admittedly with Dems and, and, uh, Republicans, there's always been the understanding, the gentleman's agreement of, like, "I'm gonna move my ball a little bit."

Speaker 19:47 Mm.

Speaker 19:47 We'll both say I won't move my ball at all.

Trevor Noah 19:48 Yeah.

Speaker 19:49 Yeah.

Speaker 19:49 But move it a little bit.

Trevor Noah 19:50 Yeah, I'm gonna move to the bank after I've been running banks.

Speaker 19:52 Yeah.

Speaker 19:52 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 19:52 I'm gonna move to the defense contract-

Speaker 19:54 Yeah

Trevor Noah 19:54 ... after running.

Speaker 19:55 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 19:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 19:55 Subtle.

Trevor Noah 19:55 But you're right. It's been, it has been subtle.

Speaker 19:57 Yeah. And it's like, that's what, that, even, even, like, under people that we like, there was that level of corruption going on.

Trevor Noah 20:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 20:05 But it felt like enough corruption to keep everything stable, so we're still playing golf.

Trevor Noah 20:08 Well, you know, there is the theory, I, I, I forget the official, like, t- name for it or the title for it, but the, the, there's this theory that says that there's no society that functions without corruption.

Speaker 20:19 Mm.

Trevor Noah 20:19 And corruption is a necessary part of society-

Speaker 20:21 Mm

Trevor Noah 20:21 ... for it to succeed. It's, it's-

Speaker 20:24 Interesting

Trevor Noah 20:24 ... it's counterintuitive.

Speaker 20:25 I love this, because I love corruption.

Trevor Noah 20:26 Yeah, but you're Nigerian.

Speaker 20:27 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 20:28 I mean, this is-

Speaker 20:28 He said it, not me. [laughs]

Speaker 20:30 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 20:30 Oh, but you just said, but she just said, "I love Ni- Ni-"

Speaker 20:33 It could've been my British side.

Trevor Noah 20:34 No.

Speaker 20:34 The Brits love corruption too.

Trevor Noah 20:35 No, man, come on. Let me tell you something. One thing I've learned about Nigerians is-

Speaker 20:38 [laughs] It co- it could be my British side speaking.

Trevor Noah 20:40 Can I tell you what I've learned about Nigerians?

Speaker 20:42 Oh, I like it.

Trevor Noah 20:42 Now you're gonna bring out your British side, please.

Speaker 20:44 Brits are incredibly corrupt.

Trevor Noah 20:45 No, but, no, but they don't love the corrupt. There's a difference.

Speaker 20:47 No, but we're embarrassed about it.

Trevor Noah 20:48 That's what I mean.

Speaker 20:49 Embarrassed about it.

Trevor Noah 20:49 That's the difference. I think that's what it really is, is with Trump is, like, it's the gentleman's agreement. W- Like, for, when he sat down with Zelensky, he broke the gentleman's agreement. I'm sure many presidents have-

Speaker 21:01 Yeah

Trevor Noah 21:01 ... cussed each other out-

Speaker 21:02 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 21:02 ... over world issues.

Speaker 21:04 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 21:05 But the gentleman's agreement is that you don't do it in front of the press.

Speaker 21:09 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 21:09 Do you get what I'm saying?

Speaker 21:09 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 21:10 You, it's the same way adults, you know, like, with kid- You'd be like, "Yo, we'll, we'll talk about this. Let's let the kids go away."

Speaker 21:18 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 21:18 "We're gonna go to another room, and we'll discuss." Because you don't want the kids to see this, because there's a certain level of decorum. And what-

Speaker 21:24 Yeah, he's, he's got no decorum.

Trevor Noah 21:25 That's what it is.

Speaker 21:25 He's not decent.

Speaker 21:26 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 21:26 What Trump did-

Speaker 21:27 Yeah

Trevor Noah 21:27 ... there is you don't, you don't do that amongst world leaders, because it's not for the, like, it's not for us as the public in a weird way.

Speaker 21:34 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 21:35 Go into a room, fight about it, and then come out and shake hands and be like, "Yeah, you know, we had a good discussion."

Speaker 21:39 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 21:39 "And we're gonna figure this out." And, you know?

Speaker 21:41 Mm.

Speaker 21:41 But I also feel like, forget world leaders. I would not invite someone to my house to cuss them out. Like, if I want to cuss you out, you're not coming to my house. That was the thing that kind of blew my mind-

Trevor Noah 21:52 Yeah

Speaker 21:52 ... about the interac- Like, forget-

Trevor Noah 21:54 But he didn't think, he didn't think he was gonna cuss him out.

Speaker 21:56 Oh, he knew he was gonna cuss him out.

Trevor Noah 21:57 No, he didn't.

Speaker 21:58 You don't think so?

Trevor Noah 21:58 I don't think so.

Speaker 21:59 Well, he thought Zelensky would kind of bow.

Trevor Noah 22:01 Okay. So here's how, here's how I play out the timeline.

Speaker 22:03 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 22:03 Trump goes, "Zelensky's coming." Now, Trump, remember who Trump believes Trump is.

Speaker 22:07 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 22:08 Trump believes he's the greatest negotiator, the greatest deal maker-

Speaker 22:11 Yeah

Trevor Noah 22:12 ... the greatest businessman, the greatest peacemaker that has ever... Remember, this is the man who said on day one, he's like, "On day one-

Speaker 22:18 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 22:18 ... I will reduce the price of eggs. I will bring them down. Day one." Right? Eggs have only gone up.

Speaker 22:24 Yeah.

Speaker 22:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 22:25 "Day one, Israel-Palestine, I'm gonna end it. We're tired of the war. We gotta end it."

Speaker 22:30 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 22:30 Well, it's not over. You get what I'm saying?

Speaker 22:32 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 22:33 He's the person who believes, he genuinely believes, I don't even think he's, like, lying about this. He thinks, "I'm gonna go in, and I'm just gonna tell them what it is, and it's gonna be."

Speaker 22:41 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 22:42 Same thing with tariffs.

Speaker 22:43 Mm.

Trevor Noah 22:43 "I'm gonna do the tariffs." Then the thing backfires. Then he's like, "Okay, I'ma undo the tariffs. Then I'm gonna do the tariffs again. Then I'm gonna undo the ta-"

Speaker 22:49 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 22:49 But he believes it. So he goes, "You know what? I'll call Zelensky." He's like, "I'm gonna call Zelensky, and I'm gonna tell him this war needs to stop."

Speaker 22:55 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 22:56 "And then Zelensky will stop the war." What happens? Zelensky shows up. Zelensky shows up in his outfit.

Speaker 23:01 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 23:02 That's the first thing Trump is angry about, because he's like, "Why is this guy... Everyone shows up here in a suit and tie. What is this man doing?"

Speaker 23:09 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 23:10 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 23:10 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 23:11 And that was the first comment, if you remember.

Speaker 23:13 No, no. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 23:13 He points at him. He's like, "Well, he got all dressed up. Well, look at him. He's..." [laughs]

Speaker 23:17 Mm.

Trevor Noah 23:17 So that's the first thing, the first slight for Trump.

Speaker 23:20 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 23:20 They go in. They're having the conversation. They're having... It's a normal press conference until the end, and that's the moment where Zelensky says a thing that Trump feels is something that goes against, like, him and is, like, a threat. You know, where Zelensky's like, "You're going to feel the pressure. You're going to feel Ame- uh, uh, Russia's influence. You're go-" And he's like, "Don't tell us what we're gonna feel. Don't you threaten me." And that's when it goes off the rails. But he, I don't think he brought the man in to cuss him out. I think he-

Speaker 23:46 Yeah

Trevor Noah 23:46 ... brought him in to solve it. And then this little man didn't come in scrounging in front of him.

Speaker 23:51 Yeah, no.

Speaker 23:51 No.

Speaker 23:52 I, I, I think some of the res- the reaction to it, though, is just, like, people are surprised to see someone cuss someone out in their house.

Trevor Noah 23:59 Yeah, you... Yeah.

Speaker 24:00 Yes.

Speaker 24:00 Forget-

Trevor Noah 24:00 Yeah.

Speaker 24:01 Yeah. Now, to your point-

Speaker 24:01 Forget, forget them being pre-

Trevor Noah 24:02 Yeah.

Speaker 24:02 To your point

Speaker 24:03 ... th- as a group of men.

Trevor Noah 24:04 Yes.

Speaker 24:05 Someone came to your house, and you cussed him out.

Trevor Noah 24:07 That's-

Speaker 24:07 Mm. I agree with-

Speaker 24:07 That is, like, just on a purely human level-

Trevor Noah 24:09 Decorum

Speaker 24:10 ... yeah, decorum.

Speaker 24:10 I-

Speaker 24:10 And he's got none

Speaker 24:11 ... I'll pitch you both this. I think that none of this would've happened if Zelensky had shown up Maybe two weeks to a month earlier. Because you gotta remember that Macron was just in there correcting that man in front of his face-

Trevor Noah 24:25 Oh

Speaker 24:25 ... and touching his knee.

Trevor Noah 24:27 Oh.

Speaker 24:27 And so it's like-

Trevor Noah 24:28 [laughs]

Speaker 24:28 ... the, if you wanna talk about as a man, I will curse somebody in my house before I let a man correct me and touch my knee while he does it.

Trevor Noah 24:36 [laughs]

Speaker 24:36 That's, oh, you must be out your mind. Correct me or touch my knee.

Trevor Noah 24:40 [laughs]

Speaker 24:40 But if you do both at the same time, we fighting. And so he already had to take the L on Macron, right? And so then he took the L on Macron, and then ... 'Cause, 'cause to Trevor's point, that thing that, that Trump does, he got to do very well with the, I think it was the president of Egypt.

Trevor Noah 24:59 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 24:59 Right? When Egypt, uh, basically says, "Hey, when it comes to Gaza, we'll take the sick kids."

Trevor Noah 25:05 Yeah.

Speaker 25:06 Right?

Trevor Noah 25:06 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 25:07 Which to, for Trump, is not a contradiction, 'cause he's like, "Oh, we're gonna send some of the people to Jordan. We're gonna send some people to Egypt." So then sick kids are still people.

Trevor Noah 25:15 Yeah.

Speaker 25:15 So then Trump is like, "I didn't even know that. See, isn't that, isn't that nice-

Trevor Noah 25:19 Mm-hmm

Speaker 25:19 ... that he's willing to take the, the sick kids and that that's really great." And you can even see in the moment it's like maybe Trump is trying to continue to do the salesman thing, but maybe he's also like, "It's working. Like it's, it's working."

Trevor Noah 25:31 No, he does think it's working.

Speaker 25:32 Like, you know what I mean?

Trevor Noah 25:33 Yeah.

Speaker 25:33 And so then when Zelenskyy, who's just making a pretty rational point, he's like, "Guys, y'all think Putin's gonna stop? Y'all think China's just, like, playing games in the background?"

Trevor Noah 25:44 Yeah.

Speaker 25:44 Like, Zelenskyy's one of the only people, you can tell even from him not showing up in the suit and tie, that's, like, living in the real world. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if you've ever been to, like, a, like ... And I'm, I'm not trying to put anyone on blast, but I don't know if you've ever been to the party of someone who is about to not have money, but, like, they're still dressed and still putting out the hors d'oeuvres like they have money.

Trevor Noah 26:05 Yeah.

Speaker 26:05 But you know that they almost don't have money.

Trevor Noah 26:08 Oh, yeah. You know things are-

Speaker 26:08 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 26:08 You know things are ... Yeah.

Speaker 26:09 So then you show up in your hoodie, and they're like, "Well, well, well." It's like, well, well, well.

Speaker 26:14 [laughs]

Speaker 26:15 You about to live next to me.

Trevor Noah 26:17 I love-

Speaker 26:17 Like, what-

Trevor Noah 26:17 I love the idea that, Josh, you should know this, if you invite Josh to your house-

Speaker 26:20 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 26:21 ... how he's dressed is a precursor to your moments in life.

Speaker 26:25 How, how much he, money he thinks you have. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 26:26 Yeah. Like, if Josh shows up in a hoodie to your party, you should go check your bank account, go check your investments, go check everything. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. [upbeat music]

Trevor Noah 26:47 The most important news in the world right now, a- across every country, is that Christiana had another baby.

Speaker 26:57 [laughs]

Speaker 26:58 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:00 Before we get into it, 'cause I wanna know all the details, and I have many questions for you, by the way, which I've been saving.

Speaker 27:06 Oh.

Trevor Noah 27:06 Many questions.

Speaker 27:07 Okay.

Trevor Noah 27:08 Do you know how many people will talk to me about the podcast, and the thing they'll say, they'll go like, "Josh. Oh, Josh, oh, he's very funny. Oh, man, love his thing. Oh, YouTube. Oh, Josh, well, well," you know what I mean? By the way, like, people think you're, like, different pe- ... It's very strange for me, but people will tell me about you-

Speaker 27:24 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 27:25 ... but then tell me about you doing something else as a different person.

Speaker 27:28 [laughs]

Speaker 27:28 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 27:29 Josh has so many jobs.

Speaker 27:29 People don't know I'm the same person.

Trevor Noah 27:30 They don't know you're the same person.

Speaker 27:31 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 27:32 You've watched them as well, right?

Speaker 27:33 I've, I've got DMs, like angry DMs, that are like, "You stole the joke from the guy on What Now?" 'Cause I'll do the-

Trevor Noah 27:41 Yeah.

Speaker 27:41 I'll say the thing here-

Trevor Noah 27:43 Yes

Speaker 27:43 ... and then I'll say it-

Trevor Noah 27:44 [laughs]

Speaker 27:44 ... on stage, and they'll be like, "I've heard that before-

Trevor Noah 27:47 Yeah

Speaker 27:47 ... and you think you're slick."

Trevor Noah 27:48 [laughs]

Speaker 27:49 [laughs]

Speaker 27:49 And it's like- [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:51 Yo, people say that to me. I'll, they'll go, they'll go like, "Oh, man, I love the, love the ... Oh, man, by the way, there's this comedian you should have on your show."

Speaker 27:58 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:58 "His name's Josh Johnson. He's..." Then I go, "You just told me you like Josh on the podcast."

Speaker 28:04 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 28:04 And they go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But have you had Josh Johnson?"

Speaker 28:07 I love that for you, Josh.

Speaker 28:07 Yeah. It's nice that no matter what, they want to, to take up for me.

Trevor Noah 28:12 This is true, actually.

Speaker 28:13 Sometimes it's against me, though.

Trevor Noah 28:13 It is against you.

Speaker 28:14 Yeah, I guess.

Trevor Noah 28:15 Like, you are the white Josh Johnson.

Speaker 28:17 Yeah. [laughs]

Speaker 28:17 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:19 That's right, you are. [laughs]

Speaker 28:21 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:23 But, um, the other thing people say, they'll be like, "Oh, I love Josh," but then they'll be like, "Oh, Christiana is so funny. She's, she's smart," but then they'll be like, "Is she always pregnant?"

Speaker 28:31 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 28:32 "How many children does Christiana have?" The, yo, everyone, men, women-

Speaker 28:38 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:38 ... old, young people just be like-

Speaker 28:40 Oh, my God. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:41 Like, there, there's a comedian in South Africa, his name's Nto, he, he was just chatting randomly. And, and he's like, he's like, "Yeah, Trevor," he's like, "I chat that," he's like, "That Christiana, she's always pregnant."

Speaker 28:52 [laughs]

Speaker 28:52 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:53 "How is she always pregnant?" And I was like, "Well, is she always?" And I was like, "Actually, she is always preg-

Speaker 29:00 It's kinda crazy.

Trevor Noah 29:01 How-

Speaker 29:01 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 29:01 First of all, congratulations.

Speaker 29:02 Thank you.

Speaker 29:03 Yeah, congratulations.

Trevor Noah 29:03 You are now the mother of a how old?

Speaker 29:06 She is eight weeks tomorrow.

Trevor Noah 29:09 Eight weeks tomorrow.

Speaker 29:10 So she's brand-new.

Speaker 29:11 Wow.

Speaker 29:11 She's still got that placenta perm.

Trevor Noah 29:12 Yeah, look at that.

Speaker 29:14 You know? Brand-new. [laughs]

Speaker 29:15 Oh, no, the placenta perm. [laughs]

Speaker 29:16 You know how the hair comes out? It's not how it is, like, in ... Yeah, for sure, she's still got her placenta perm. I know. I am a mother of three kids five and under. I've had, I've had more than three pregnancies. You guys know, like-

Trevor Noah 29:29 Yeah

Speaker 29:29 ... my, my womb is a strange place. So I've had losses, done IVF, all of this stuff, and now it's landed me at three kids. Cora wasn't IVF, though.

Trevor Noah 29:38 So wait, so are you ... How many-

Speaker 29:40 She was a surprise

Trevor Noah 29:40 ... what's the number you're going for?

Speaker 29:41 I'm stopping at ... Can I tell you guys something?

Trevor Noah 29:43 No, don't lie.

Speaker 29:44 Mm.

Speaker 29:44 No, no, no, I'm-

Trevor Noah 29:44 Don't lie. Be-

Speaker 29:45 I hate it that he does this

Trevor Noah 29:46 ... be-

Speaker 29:46 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 29:46 ... let it, don't lie. Let me tell you why-

Speaker 29:48 My body, my choice, Trevor.

Trevor Noah 29:49 Ye- yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 29:51 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 29:51 But-

Speaker 29:51 No, he's gonna say-

Trevor Noah 29:52 Above all else-

Speaker 29:53 ... you say this all the time

Trevor Noah 29:53 ... above all else-

Speaker 29:54 Every time you say it's your last baby.

Speaker 29:56 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 29:56 Above all else, to thine own self be true.

Speaker 29:58 Yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 29:59 That's a quote that I love to live by.

Speaker 30:00 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 30:02 I'm not saying this out of judgment.

Speaker 30:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 30:04 I'm asking if there is, like, an end goal.

Speaker 30:06 Okay.

Trevor Noah 30:06 Because the, you are with children the way dangerous leaders are with land and, like-

Speaker 30:13 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 30:13 ... territory. They'll be like, "I'm done." Remember when Putin said Crimea, "That's it."

Speaker 30:19 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 30:19 He said, "That's it."

Speaker 30:20 [laughs] Putin.

Trevor Noah 30:21 He said now that we have ... You are, you're the Putin of children.

Speaker 30:23 Okay.

Speaker 30:24 Mm.

Speaker 30:24 'Cause-

Trevor Noah 30:24 Because every time I think you're done- There's another incursion, and then you're gonna tell me about why you had to ... So you said ... After the first one, you were like, "Trevor, I will n-," you're like, "Don't ever have kids. I'll never have kids."

Speaker 30:35 Yeah, I did say that.

Trevor Noah 30:35 I'll ... Then second one.

Speaker 30:37 Okay.

Trevor Noah 30:37 Then you're like, "I don't know who tricked me into this."

Speaker 30:38 Yeah, that's true.

Trevor Noah 30:38 "I can't believe I'm doing it again." Mm-hmm.

Speaker 30:39 True.

Trevor Noah 30:39 "I'll never ... Trevor- Mm-hmm

Speaker 30:41 That's true

Trevor Noah 30:41 ... I'm done. After this, I'm done. I'm done. I'm d-" We're now the third one in.

Speaker 30:44 Okay, can I tell you the difference now?

Trevor Noah 30:45 Okay, tell me.

Speaker 30:46 So unfortunately, I live in a very godless city, so it's a long time to get a vasectomy.

Trevor Noah 30:50 [laughs]

Speaker 30:51 In LA, I said, "My husband, my husband-

Trevor Noah 30:54 [laughs]

Speaker 30:54 ... February 14th, get an appointment for a consultation for a vasectomy on-

Trevor Noah 30:59 On Valentine's Day?

Speaker 31:00 Yes.

Trevor Noah 31:00 Okay.

Speaker 31:00 I said, "Go."

Trevor Noah 31:01 Okay.

Speaker 31:01 He got there and the guy says, "There's a waiting list," but what happens every Friday, they open up the portal for cancellations. This is the vasectomy doctor in LA, by the way. Everyone goes to him, uh, 'cause he, he does the job. So-

Trevor Noah 31:14 How hard is it to do a vasectomy? Forgive my ignorance.

Speaker 31:16 Oh, it's so easy.

Trevor Noah 31:17 I thought it was quick.

Speaker 31:18 It's so easy.

Trevor Noah 31:18 Yeah.

Speaker 31:18 It's, it's quick, but there's, it's a godless city. People don't want kids, so there's so many men.

Trevor Noah 31:22 Oh, so there's so many people- Mm ... in LA getting vasectomies.

Speaker 31:25 And if, if you want it quicker, go to, like, Utah. Like, in Utah [laughs] it's like-

Trevor Noah 31:28 Oh, and that person will be like, "I've, I've never done this before- Yeah [laughs]

Speaker 31:30 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 31:31 ... but, uh, but let's see what happens." Here we go.

Speaker 31:32 So-

Trevor Noah 31:32 It's just snip snap.

Speaker 31:33 So, so this is pro- I don't even wanna go on too many tangents, but-

Trevor Noah 31:37 No, go on all the tangents-

Speaker 31:38 No, because like-

Trevor Noah 31:39 ... 'cause I wanna know all the details

Speaker 31:39 ... 'cause I've got people telling me, "Why don't you get an IUD? Why don't you do this?" I'm like, "No, let him do something," because I've, my body's been through hell.

Trevor Noah 31:46 No, I, I don't, I don't blame you. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 31:47 So my husband is getting a vasectomy.

Trevor Noah 31:49 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 31:50 And we have two embryos in boarding school in case I ever-

Trevor Noah 31:54 Want to get to five

Speaker 31:56 ... I know they're just there. I don't know what to do with them. You see, this is, I'm pro-choice, but then I have all these woo woo things.

Trevor Noah 32:01 Okay. Mm.

Speaker 32:01 I'm like, "Do I donate them to science?"

Trevor Noah 32:03 No, you see, you see-

Speaker 32:03 I, I don't like embryo adoption, but-

Trevor Noah 32:05 No, you see, this is slick

Speaker 32:06 ... Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Trevor Noah 32:07 You see, you see, she left herself a little out there.

Speaker 32:08 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not the out. It's just, like, I'm like, I can't keep having children when I have, like, these two, not souls, but things frozen-

Trevor Noah 32:17 Yes

Speaker 32:17 ... in time. So they're there. I have to make a decision about what we do with them.

Trevor Noah 32:21 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 32:21 They're in Texas.

Trevor Noah 32:22 Mm-hmm. You have children in Texas?

Speaker 32:24 Not children, please.

Trevor Noah 32:25 [laughs]

Speaker 32:25 Before the Republicans here-

Trevor Noah 32:27 [laughs]

Speaker 32:28 ... they're not children. They're s- cells.

Trevor Noah 32:30 Yeah. Oh.

Speaker 32:30 Me and my husband's cells.

Trevor Noah 32:32 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 32:32 Day five embryos.

Trevor Noah 32:33 You know, it's only a matter of time before, like, I, you, you, you remember when we were on the road, I used to have this joke that I almost believe is gonna become true. They're just gonna keep moving it further and further back.

Speaker 32:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 32:42 Mm-hmm. You know?

Speaker 32:43 That's why we wanna take them out of Texas.

Trevor Noah 32:44 Yeah, they go like, but they're gonna keep-

Speaker 32:45 Yeah

Trevor Noah 32:45 ... moving it further and further back. You know, they go like, "Oh, no, the heartbeat or this or blip and this and inception." And it's gonna get to the point where-

Speaker 32:51 Yeah

Trevor Noah 32:51 ... they'll just be like, "Your sperm is a chi- Look at how they swim." Mm.

Speaker 32:54 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 32:55 "Look at how they swim." Mm-hmm.

Speaker 32:56 Yeah. I'm afraid it's gonna get to that. So anyway.

Trevor Noah 32:59 Okay.

Speaker 32:59 W- so even having Kora, I w- the, the ethical, I was like, how can we do this when-

Trevor Noah 33:03 Mm-hmm

Speaker 33:03 ... it was obviously, she was not planned, which-

Trevor Noah 33:05 Right

Speaker 33:06 ... by the way, my thing about having three kids, I think it makes me look like I lack sexual discipline in this day and age.

Trevor Noah 33:10 What do you ... No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Why, why w- why would you need-

Speaker 33:13 Because, like, who has three kids in this day and age?

Trevor Noah 33:15 No, no, no, no, no. But why would you need sexual discipl- I, whoever says that, bring them here. I'll fight them.

Speaker 33:19 No, people are very, like, people, women with careers-

Trevor Noah 33:21 Yes. Mm

Speaker 33:22 ... like ambitious women-

Trevor Noah 33:23 Mm-hmm

Speaker 33:23 ... you either have no kids-

Trevor Noah 33:25 Yes

Speaker 33:25 ... or you have maximum two.

Trevor Noah 33:27 No kids or maximum two.

Speaker 33:28 And this is what-

Trevor Noah 33:29 Okay

Speaker 33:29 ... I've found. I've looked at it.

Trevor Noah 33:30 Why, um, why do you think that is?

Speaker 33:32 Because no kids, you have freedom.

Trevor Noah 33:34 Yes.

Speaker 33:34 Um, two kids, you have balance, and it's what you can-

Trevor Noah 33:37 Oh.

Speaker 33:37 At, at, at three kids, we're, like, at capacity. Like-

Trevor Noah 33:40 Mm

Speaker 33:40 ... it's, it's chaos in my house.

Trevor Noah 33:42 Yeah. Mm.

Speaker 33:42 But, like, imagine a woman shows up for a job interview.

Trevor Noah 33:45 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 33:45 I'm just talking about, like, a woman-

Trevor Noah 33:46 Yeah

Speaker 33:46 ... that maybe doesn't have as much privilege, and she's like, "I have three kids." The person on the other side's like, "This bitch is gonna have another baby soon. I don't know if I can give her this job."

Trevor Noah 33:54 [laughs]

Speaker 33:54 You know, th- I mean, that's how I would feel.

Trevor Noah 33:56 [laughs]

Speaker 33:56 That's how I would feel.

Trevor Noah 33:57 [laughs] Can, can I, can I-

Speaker 33:59 But I'm, I'm, I'm saying that's a very raw-

Trevor Noah 34:00 No, no, no

Speaker 34:00 ... but then you'd have to inter- 'cause you're instantaneously taken-

Trevor Noah 34:02 Can I tell you, can I ... I'm glad you brought that up. Can I tell you something? This is something I feel like people don't speak enough about because we ... You know, the problem with almost every single conversation people have, not just in America, but in most places, but I feel like America does it, you know, i- in the most extreme way, is that you can't have a conversation about a thing because it's overlapped with so many other-

Speaker 34:27 Yeah

Trevor Noah 34:27 ... issues that then people think you're talking about when you're not talking about it, right? Mm-hmm. I'm glad you brought that up because even with us doing this, you being pregnant is the worst thing-

Speaker 34:37 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 34:37 ... for the podcast.

Speaker 34:38 I, when I told them, I walk, I walked in. Obviously, I was like, and they were like, "Eh," like, 'cause my belly was showing at that point.

Trevor Noah 34:44 Yeah.

Speaker 34:44 I was past 12 weeks, and then Derek, shout out to Derek, who works with Trevor, he was just sitting there answering ads. They're doing the sums.

Trevor Noah 34:51 Yeah, everyone has to do the math.

Speaker 34:52 And they were like-

Trevor Noah 34:52 Yeah

Speaker 34:52 ... they were like, "Congratulations. Oh, yeah, we can make the podca- what do you do?" They're, it was so funny.

Trevor Noah 34:56 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 34:56 It was just the relief, and then they were like, "No, but here you are."

Trevor Noah 34:59 No, but it, but it, but it, it makes, you get a real-

Speaker 35:00 It has a real impact

Trevor Noah 35:00 ... like with Josh- Yeah ... I never, with you I go, "Okay, when is Josh on the road? When is Josh touring? When is Josh like-"

Speaker 35:04 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 35:04 "Okay, cool. Whatever." But-

Speaker 35:06 You're not worried about Josh getting pregnant.

Trevor Noah 35:08 Yeah, but when-

Speaker 35:08 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 35:08 No, but I'm not even worried about-

Speaker 35:10 Yeah

Trevor Noah 35:10 ... what I'm saying is you being pregnant-

Speaker 35:12 Yeah

Trevor Noah 35:12 ... is the worst thing for our work schedule.

Speaker 35:14 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 35:14 Right? Because you have to go see the doctor. Anything can happen at any time-

Speaker 35:19 Yeah

Trevor Noah 35:19 ... during the pregnancy.

Speaker 35:20 And I had a high-risk pregnancy, this pregnancy.

Trevor Noah 35:21 There you go.

Speaker 35:22 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 35:22 You've got a high-risk pregnancy. So

Trevor Noah 35:24 your body is this fragile thing that is doing this amazing thing that you have to-

Speaker 35:28 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 35:28 ... watch out for on all these levels, and so if Chri- Christiana's not well, w- I'm never gonna put a podcast over your pregnancy.

Speaker 35:34 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 35:34 You know what I mean?

Speaker 35:35 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 35:35 I'll never, ever be like, "But the podca-," and you know this from me.

Speaker 35:37 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 35:38 I'm the person who's like, "Yeah, cancel."

Speaker 35:39 And by the way, like, so I feel very fortunate that I do this k- the work I do-

Trevor Noah 35:44 Yeah

Speaker 35:44 ... and where I am in my career that I have, like, partners. Like, you guys were like, "Okay, how can we make this work?"

Trevor Noah 35:50 Right.

Speaker 35:50 That was a, like, "Okay, what are your dates? What, do you wanna take time off? When are your appointments? You know, they're the que- the kings and queens of, "You don't, you seem tired. Go, go sleep," or whatever.

Trevor Noah 36:00 Uh-huh.

Speaker 36:01 But most women don't work in environments-

Trevor Noah 36:04 But the s-

Speaker 36:04 ... that are like that.

Trevor Noah 36:05 Yeah, but and it's-

Speaker 36:05 It's like, you know, you're getting fired. You're getting demoted.

Trevor Noah 36:07 Yes.

Speaker 36:07 You're taking time off. You're coming back at a lower level. You're already, like, postpartum. It's, it's the worst thing you can do for your career, having a baby.

Trevor Noah 36:14 So now-

Speaker 36:14 That's the truth, but no one says that

Trevor Noah 36:15 ... that's what I mean. We don't talk about these things because people feel like you're conceding something that they don't wanna concede. Mm-hmm. Right?

Speaker 36:22 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 36:23 Having a child is terrible for your career. Having a child is also terrible for the work environment, like, for the, the actual-

Speaker 36:28 Yeah

Trevor Noah 36:29 ... for your company, your office wor- it's not great for them.

Speaker 36:31 It's bad for the dads too, by the way, 'cause a dad is like-

Trevor Noah 36:34 Yes

Speaker 36:34 ... "I wanna spend more time with my kids."

Trevor Noah 36:35 Yes. Mm-hmm. Like, it's just bad. It's bad.

Speaker 36:37 It's, it's-

Trevor Noah 36:38 A, a good dad.

Speaker 36:39 A good dad. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 36:42 [laughs]

Speaker 36:43 A good dad. A g-

Speaker 36:44 Can, can I tell you the, the, the men that you would not know had children.

Trevor Noah 36:49 [laughs] Oh my God.

Speaker 36:51 You'll be in a fantasy league with them-

Trevor Noah 36:53 [laughs]

Speaker 36:54 ... and not know they have a child. You will know their number one seed and not know that they have a child.

Speaker 37:02 Okay, for a, a someone who wants to be an active and present-

Speaker 37:05 Yes.

Trevor Noah 37:05 Yeah. Yes

Speaker 37:05 ... father-

Trevor Noah 37:06 Mm-hmm

Speaker 37:06 ... in the current, like, capitalist framework we have-

Trevor Noah 37:09 Thank you

Speaker 37:09 ... where your work is on your phone-

Trevor Noah 37:11 Yes.

Speaker 37:11 Mm-hmm

Speaker 37:11 ... like your email, you can't escape it.

Trevor Noah 37:13 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 37:14 It's very tough. After work, din- drinks, socializing. Now they're like, "Return to the office." They don't want us to work from home, right?

Trevor Noah 37:20 Yeah.

Speaker 37:20 So you're away from your family all day. If you're a man that wants to see your kids and be present, it's, it's bad for you as well. But I think with, and it's an argument, a conversation me and Lewis have a lot, the woman, you take on the actual physical brunt of the pregnancy.

Trevor Noah 37:35 Hmm.

Speaker 37:36 The emotional and physical labor-

Trevor Noah 37:37 Mm-hmm

Speaker 37:37 ... the hormones. It's, it's feel like you're being invaded. I find pregnancy very disembodying. I'm not one of these women that's like, "I had the most beautiful time in my life. I was glo-"

Trevor Noah 37:46 Yeah.

Speaker 37:46 I feel like shit. Like I, I, I don't enjoy it. Um, and I've had really, I've had rough pregnancies.

Trevor Noah 37:52 Mm.

Speaker 37:53 I've had, my last birth was my favorite birth. I felt really powerful. I knew what I wanted. Like, I felt very confident.

Trevor Noah 37:59 That's amazing.

Speaker 38:00 Yeah, and it was just like I'd done it a lot of times before-

Trevor Noah 38:03 Mm-hmm

Speaker 38:03 ... to be, like, listened to. And postpartum was, I couldn't even really dwell on it, 'cause I had two, I have two other children.

Trevor Noah 38:11 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 38:11 But for a lot of women, it's this earthquake, and you're constantly feeling aftershocks. And whatever decision you make, right, whether you decide to stay at home with your children or also work as well, you don't have the support for the most part.

Trevor Noah 38:25 Yeah.

Speaker 38:25 Like, I find my friends that are stay-at-home moms, they live really isolating existences.

Trevor Noah 38:29 Yes.

Speaker 38:29 And they do work that's not respected, you know?

Trevor Noah 38:31 So I've been experiencing this through different lenses and in different ways, so I've gotten to experience the professional side of it with you.

Speaker 38:39 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 38:39 You know, pregnancy and a woman having children in the work environment, which I've loved. Like, it's, it's, it... Because anything that gives me insight, I, I love.

Speaker 38:47 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 38:47 You know what I mean? Like, if I was in that plane that flipped over-

Speaker 38:50 Mm

Trevor Noah 38:50 ... I would love it because I'd be... I've always wanted to be in a plane that crashes, but I would like to experience it and then come out on the other side. Does that make sense?

Speaker 38:57 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 38:58 So if I don't live, I have-

Speaker 38:58 It's concerning, but it makes sense.

Trevor Noah 39:00 No, what I mean is, like, I love things that give me insights.

Speaker 39:03 Yeah.

Speaker 39:03 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 39:04 So what is it like? Oh, I now know what it's like.

Speaker 39:05 You've seen it up close multiple times now.

Trevor Noah 39:07 Yes, exactly. Right? So, uh, but then, uh, one of my best friends and his wife, they just had twins, right?

Speaker 39:15 Oof.

Trevor Noah 39:15 Yeah, yeah. Oof indeed. And like, th- there've been some days where there's nobody to look after the twins. I, I don't know how many months old they are, but they're like tiny. They don't walk. They don't do anything. They're still in like that... You know what I mean?

Speaker 39:26 Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 39:26 They just, they're like, they're like blobby.

Speaker 39:28 Trevor is l-

Trevor Noah 39:28 They can hold their... No, they can hold-

Speaker 39:29 I don't, I don't know how old they are.

Speaker 39:30 They don't, they don't do anything.

Speaker 39:30 Can they-

Trevor Noah 39:31 They can hold their necks up. They c- they can-

Speaker 39:32 Okay, thank you. Just, yeah

Trevor Noah 39:33 ... their, their necks are now-

Speaker 39:34 Mm

Trevor Noah 39:34 ... they're able to hold their necks up.

Speaker 39:35 But they're infants, definitely.

Trevor Noah 39:36 Yeah, they're infants. And some days it'll be, like, me and him looking after them, right? For hours on end.

Speaker 39:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 39:42 Hours on end. And the, the other day we were sitting together, and we'd, we'd just, like, rotating the babies. And he, like, broke his back many years ago, and then now carrying the babies and the stroller-

Speaker 39:52 Oh my God

Trevor Noah 39:53 ... and the back injury came back. So for like a week he couldn't carry babies.

Speaker 39:56 Oh my God.

Trevor Noah 39:56 So now I'm helping him with both of the babies, and I'm running around. But there was a point where we were sitting together, and you know what this is like, you know, but the babies start, like, crying in a rotation.

Speaker 40:07 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 40:08 So-

Speaker 40:08 I call it witching hour.

Trevor Noah 40:09 Yeah.

Speaker 40:09 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 40:09 So just as one baby starts crying, it cries, it cries, it cries, it cries, it cries. You finally figure out what it is. Maybe it wanted to be rocked. Maybe it wanted to be fed. Maybe it wanted to be burped. Maybe it just wanted to move. Sometimes they just wanna stand up.

Speaker 40:20 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 40:20 Sometimes babies just don't like you to sit down. This is what I've learned.

Speaker 40:23 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 40:23 Like, babies are like, "Why are you sitting?"

Speaker 40:24 [laughs]

Speaker 40:24 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 40:25 Like, babies should be bosses in every office in the world.

Speaker 40:27 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 40:27 They do not tolerate sedentary lifestyles.

Speaker 40:30 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 40:31 Babies are just like, "Why are you sitting?" And you're like, "What do you mean? I'm chilling." The baby's like, "Nah. Nah."

Speaker 40:35 [laughs]

Speaker 40:35 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 40:35 Then you stand up, and the baby's like, "Yeah, this is good. I like this. I like this."

Speaker 40:38 Yeah.

Speaker 40:38 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 40:38 That's all the baby's doing.

Speaker 40:39 Yeah. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 40:40 You finally get the baby to chill or sleep, and then the other baby's like, "All right, my turn. Let's see what we can do with this." So we're in this spiral. We're in this thing. We're in this, I'm rocking, singing, burping, bumping, jumping, doing everything with these babies. And I think, like, two hours in, I looked at him and I said, "Yo, how much longer do we have?"

Speaker 40:58 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 40:58 And he said, "What do you mean? W- we've... The whole day." And then I looked at him and I said, "How, how do women, how do they exist?"

Speaker 41:08 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 41:08 And what I mean by how, like, how do women exist is I don't understand how we've created a system where we act like that is not happening to everyone.

Speaker 41:19 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 41:20 Most people, especially in America, cannot afford childcare.

Speaker 41:22 No.

Speaker 41:23 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 41:23 They don't have support.

Speaker 41:24 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 41:24 They don't have systems. They don't have... So they're l- leaving their kids at home at a young age, if they get to that age where they can, or some people are, like, bringing the kid with them where they can and how they... But I don't understand how we're gonna live in a world where we, on the one hand, tell people, "Hey, the birth rate is dropping."

Speaker 41:41 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 41:41 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 41:42 "We need to have more kids. Why aren't we having kids? This is not sustainable," but then, on the other hand, not support the very same people-

Speaker 41:49 Yeah

Trevor Noah 41:49 ... who need to have the kids to sustain a population.

Speaker 41:51 Mm.

Speaker 41:51 And let's not even talk about, and I think this is around the Western world, the housing crisis. It's so expensive.

Trevor Noah 41:57 Yeah, yeah. No, it's all of it.

Speaker 41:58 Schools aren't good. Priv-

Speaker 42:00 but private schools are-

Trevor Noah 42:00 All of it

Speaker 42:01 ... super expensive. So it's just like everything is working against you. And then I'd say, like, on a really, maybe it's the, I don't think it's vain. For a long time you don't feel like yourself in your body. You have this baby. You're lumpy. You're soft. You don't feel sexy. Do you know what I mean?

Trevor Noah 42:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 42:14 It's like you're scrolling Instagram and you're like, you know, Ozempic, everyone's very hot and thin right now. And you're just like-

Trevor Noah 42:19 Can, can I-

Speaker 42:20 ... "I feel like blah."

Trevor Noah 42:21 Can I tell you, just as an aside, two things. One, I still think GLP-1 sl- slash that whole world is unlocking something deep in humanity that we haven't even, like-

Speaker 42:34 Yeah, for sure

Trevor Noah 42:34 ... we, we haven't tapped into. I think it's un-hacking a lot of the hacking that has happened to us, right?

Speaker 42:39 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 42:39 A- and if you're listening to this, I'm not saying, like, go and take Ozempic or all of these things, but I genuinely believe that almost everyone in society in some way should be on it. Because I feel like in the same way that microplastics are everywhere now- I think we've all been, like, poisoned by foods that have hacked our systems.

Speaker 42:56 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 42:57 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 42:57 And I think these drugs are the first things that are undoing a lot of that hacking.

Speaker 43:02 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 43:02 I don't know how long, uh, like, how long, you know, it'll last and how people will feel good. I'm not end- con- endorsing it in any way, but I just think GLP-1 in particular. But have you seen, um... Have you seen how now, like, big food companies, you know, for lack of a better term, fast food companies and then chips and snacks and all of that, have you seen that they're working on GLP-1 blockers in their food?

Speaker 43:26 So they will basically become Ozempic resistant?

Trevor Noah 43:29 They are trying to make food now-

Speaker 43:31 Mm-hmm

Speaker 43:31 That's scary

Trevor Noah 43:32 ... that can resist Ozempic and-

Speaker 43:34 That's scary

Trevor Noah 43:35 ... Mounjaro and all of these drugs-

Speaker 43:36 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 43:37 ... because the people who take this aren't eating junk food and aren't becoming overweight and aren't getting sick and are becoming more fertile and are becoming-

Speaker 43:46 Yeah.

Speaker 43:46 Yeah

Trevor Noah 43:46 ... like, they gamble less, they buy less-

Speaker 43:48 Yeah

Trevor Noah 43:48 ... they smoke less, they drink less, they shop less, they-

Speaker 43:51 Yeah

Trevor Noah 43:51 ... they do everything less of the unhealthy.

Speaker 43:53 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 43:54 And because of that, they're actually gonna make food-

Speaker 43:56 Oof

Trevor Noah 43:56 ... that is gonna block the block so that they can get you back into that. Sorry, that's just-

Speaker 44:00 Yeah.

Speaker 44:00 Okay

Trevor Noah 44:01 ... just, just like-

Speaker 44:02 I wonder what that's gonna do to people who really weren't in this at all.

Trevor Noah 44:05 [laughs]

Speaker 44:05 [laughs]

Speaker 44:05 Like, if you, like, if you just like regular Doritos and you aren't going-

Trevor Noah 44:11 That's actually a good question

Speaker 44:11 Yeah

Speaker 44:12 ... anywhere near Ozempic, are you gonna be like, "Look, I'll do anything for this Doritos"

Trevor Noah 44:16 Yeah, you might be-

Speaker 44:17 Like, are you gonna lose your mind?

Trevor Noah 44:18 You might be crack hungry, actually.

Speaker 44:19 Or are you not gonna feel it?

Speaker 44:20 That's the bit. Yeah, that's-

Trevor Noah 44:21 No, you actually might get crack hungry

Speaker 44:22 You know what I mean?

Trevor Noah 44:22 The m- 'cause, 'cause GLP-1 is produced naturally, as I understand it.

Speaker 44:25 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 44:26 Right?

Speaker 44:26 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 44:26 So it's something that your gut is supposed to produce when you are full.

Speaker 44:31 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 44:32 Most food hacks that feeling, but if you, if you have a healthy gut, y- your stomach tells you, "Okay, you're full."

Speaker 44:37 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 44:37 So now to your point, if it blocks that, yeah, we might get, like, crack Doritos now.

Speaker 44:42 Ugh.

Speaker 44:42 Yeah. This is what makes me feel crazy sometimes.

Trevor Noah 44:44 You brought children into this world.

Speaker 44:46 Well, I think-

Trevor Noah 44:46 How could you?

Speaker 44:47 ... the, well, the worst thing is being, like, postpartum in the age of Ozempic. 'Cause, like, I think I've been through, like, the entire life cycle. So when I had Obi in 2020, then it was COVID, but it was a wave of body positivity, and everyone was saying, "You're not your body. Thank your body for just keeping you alive."

Trevor Noah 45:05 Mm.

Speaker 45:05 'Cause, you know, the, the stakes were different.

Trevor Noah 45:07 Yeah, it was 2020. Yeah.

Speaker 45:07 There was, like, viruses. So you were just like, "Oh, I've got this thing that keeps me alive." Good for you.

Trevor Noah 45:11 Yeah.

Speaker 45:11 It didn't matter how it looked. And now the algorithm is just feeding me, "Oh, you're postpartum. How to get your body back." Basically eating disorder-

Trevor Noah 45:19 Yeah, yeah

Speaker 45:19 ... content.

Trevor Noah 45:19 I get that shit.

Speaker 45:19 Like, lean is law.

Trevor Noah 45:20 Yeah.

Speaker 45:20 It's like, but, and, and every... The timeline does look different, 'cause so many people are on GLP-1s, and you look at the red carpet from the Oscars or the Grammys, and you're like, "People look really different."

Trevor Noah 45:30 Yeah, no.

Speaker 45:31 And, like, that-

Trevor Noah 45:31 Everyone, everyone is on it

Speaker 45:32 ... so there's also being-

Speaker 45:33 Yeah

Trevor Noah 45:33 Everyone is on it

Speaker 45:34 ... a woman that's just had a baby in a very different cultural space where a maternal body is like-

Trevor Noah 45:39 Yeah.

Speaker 45:39 No one, no one wants to see evidence that you've had babies.

Trevor Noah 45:42 Yeah.

Speaker 45:42 We, we hate those bodies. It's a mum bod. It's so rude, right? [laughs] I was like, "That's rude."

Trevor Noah 45:47 You know what's funny, is that there's a dad bod, but we don't even have the baby.

Speaker 45:49 [laughs]

Speaker 45:50 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 45:50 [laughs] I mean, it's-

Speaker 45:54 Trevor

Trevor Noah 45:55 ... it's true, though. It's pretty funny.

Speaker 45:57 Yeah. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 45:57 Like, dads just get a... You know what I mean? Men are really, we really have finessed the game in a good way.

Speaker 46:02 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 46:02 'Cause, like, they'll go like-

Speaker 46:02 Yeah

Trevor Noah 46:03 ... "Oh, a mum bod. Yeah, you c- she's had kids. Dad bod." You never had kids.

Speaker 46:07 Yeah.

Speaker 46:07 You're just a dad.

Trevor Noah 46:07 You've never physically had the children.

Speaker 46:09 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 46:09 Why are you using this as an excuse?

Speaker 46:11 I have not had to support someone all the way through a pregnancy. I've had friends who have been pregnant, and I've had... You know what I mean? Like, I've just never been in a relationship with someone who was pregnant and then seeing the whole thing through, so I'm not acting like I'm-

Trevor Noah 46:23 Wait, wait, wait. Wait, what? Okay. I-

Speaker 46:25 He was very-

Trevor Noah 46:25 You know, Josh, Josh-

Speaker 46:26 ... very supportive. My f-

Trevor Noah 46:27 No, no, no

Speaker 46:27 ... you were great when I was pregnant with Obi.

Trevor Noah 46:28 No, no, no. This is-

Speaker 46:29 You'd bring me stuff

Trevor Noah 46:29 ... this is a thing I have.

Speaker 46:30 I did my best.

Speaker 46:30 You brought me snacks.

Trevor Noah 46:31 This is a thing, this is a thing I have with Josh-

Speaker 46:32 Mm

Trevor Noah 46:33 ... just generally. I don't know if it's because you're Southern-

Speaker 46:36 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 46:36 ... or I don't know if it's because of just, like, your vibe. Sometimes you'll say a thing, and I love this about you, but I think it leaves people thinking you said something you didn't say. 'Cause what you just said now-

Speaker 46:49 Yeah

Trevor Noah 46:49 ... I think for some people, what they might have heard is, "I have not stayed around for full pregnancy."

Speaker 46:55 [laughs]

Speaker 46:55 No.

Trevor Noah 46:55 "I have never supported someone fully."

Speaker 46:57 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 46:58 [laughs]

Speaker 46:58 Yeah. No, it's the way I worded it.

Trevor Noah 47:00 [laughs]

Speaker 47:00 But I'm just, I'm not trying to have any stolen valor of, like, "Oh, yeah, I helped this person all the way through their pregnancy."

Trevor Noah 47:06 No, I know. I know. I know you.

Speaker 47:07 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 47:07 I know what you-

Speaker 47:07 This is like-

Trevor Noah 47:08 'Cause I-

Speaker 47:08 ... this is over-wokeness. You know what I mean?

Trevor Noah 47:09 No, I know. No, no, no.

Speaker 47:10 You're like, you're like-

Trevor Noah 47:10 I know Jo

Speaker 47:11 ... "Oh, by the way, I'm an ally for people who have been pregnant."

Trevor Noah 47:14 Yes.

Speaker 47:14 "However, I myself have..." But now-

Trevor Noah 47:15 Yes

Speaker 47:15 ... you sound like a deadbeat.

Trevor Noah 47:17 But the w-

Speaker 47:17 Is that the way you sound? [laughs]

Trevor Noah 47:17 The way you, the way you said it-

Speaker 47:18 You sound like little, little Josh

Trevor Noah 47:18 ... sounds like Josh was like, "So, uh, I want you to know that I've never stayed around-

Speaker 47:23 [laughs]

Speaker 47:24 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 47:24 "... to see an entire pregnancy through. I've been there when they told me-

Speaker 47:28 [laughs]

Speaker 47:29 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 47:29 ... and I've been there, uh, when they were done. But, uh, I've never..." No, Josh, I... You're, you're not saying you-

Speaker 47:37 I've never got anyone pregnant.

Trevor Noah 47:38 Cool.

Speaker 47:38 Okay.

Trevor Noah 47:39 Right.

Speaker 47:39 Yeah. And so I've n- I can only imagine what it's like to actually be, you know, like, like Lewis or, or in-

Speaker 47:46 Yeah

Speaker 47:46 ... in that situation. But the closest thing I can, I can guess from the dudes I know who have, you know, had kids and everything, it's not just gaming the system in a way of, like, there's very little that a dad has to do. There's also, you wanna do something, there's nothing for you to do. So I, I equate it to, like, how it feels when you've hired movers. 'Cause now you've hired the movers, and they're in your house, and they're doing all the work. And you're like, "Oh, I co-..." And they're like, "You would literally be in the way."

Speaker 48:15 [laughs]

Speaker 48:16 "If you help, if you help me right now and you hurt yourself, I've, I can't help you. So, like, just be over here."

Speaker 48:22 [laughs]

Speaker 48:22 And so now you're standing in the corner while somebody moves all your stuff, and you're like, "But I, I think I could help."

Speaker 48:28 Yeah.

Speaker 48:28 You can't. Trust me.

Trevor Noah 48:29 You can't do anything.

Speaker 48:30 Yeah.

Speaker 48:30 We work out all day, and we move all day.

Speaker 48:33 [laughs]

Speaker 48:34 We don't need you coming down the step, "Whoa, whoa!"

Speaker 48:36 Yeah.

Speaker 48:36 And then now, all of a sudden, your neck is broken-

Speaker 48:39 I know

Speaker 48:39 ... and we don't get paid.

Speaker 48:39 I feel, I feel so bad. I'm such a, I'm such a mean pregnant woman, 'cause I-

Trevor Noah 48:43 That's not true.

Speaker 48:45 Not to you.

Trevor Noah 48:45 Or maybe in the house.

Speaker 48:46 In the house.

Trevor Noah 48:47 [laughs]

Speaker 48:47 Ah, Trevor, you'd be like, "Ah, bye." [laughs] No, I think my character flaw is that when I'm frustrated with things, there's always, like, the target of my frustration, even if it's not- That person themselves. So I think Lewis had to absorb a lot of my-

Speaker 49:00 Oh

Speaker 49:00 ... my complaints [laughs] about... But also, I ha- I've had three kids for this man, so [laughs] I feel like it-

Speaker 49:05 I like, I like how, yeah, it, it-

Speaker 49:06 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 49:06 I like how quickly it went from-

Speaker 49:08 I was like-

Trevor Noah 49:08 "Man, this poor guy's... Yo, I had these kids for him"

Speaker 49:11 Yeah. It is, it, it must be what-

Speaker 49:13 He's like, "Your favorite, your favorite line," that's what he calls it

Speaker 49:15 We must be seeing what Lewis sees in the moment.

Trevor Noah 49:18 Yes. Yeah

Speaker 49:18 Like, like, a little bit of rationalizing, then a little bit of like, "Nah, you did this to me." [laughs]

Speaker 49:23 [laughs] But, you know, he's very active, supportive. He's a great parent. Like, I'm always like, if any- I say to him, like, "If you died and left me a widow, I'd go and get you back, 'cause I can't do this without you."

Trevor Noah 49:37 Aw.

Speaker 49:37 No, just don't die. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 49:38 But that's beautiful, though.

Speaker 49:39 No, but, like, he's just-

Speaker 49:40 It's beautiful as a threat.

Speaker 49:41 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 49:42 I mean, it, but it's beautiful.

Speaker 49:43 It's a, it-

Speaker 49:43 Like, stay healthy-

Trevor Noah 49:44 Yeah

Speaker 49:44 ... go to the doctor. But, like, I still-

Trevor Noah 49:45 How big is your community? Like, how, do you-

Speaker 49:47 Oh my God

Trevor Noah 49:48 Is it just the two of you raising the kids for the most part?

Speaker 49:50 So-

Trevor Noah 49:50 'Cause your, 'cause your parents are in the UK

Speaker 49:52 ... my parents are in the UK. His family's in New York.

Trevor Noah 49:54 Yeah.

Speaker 49:55 Um, we were very fortunate enough to have a nanny who focuses on two, Luna. Well, now we just use numbers for the children-

Trevor Noah 50:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 50:02 ... 'cause we get their names wrong.

Trevor Noah 50:02 Just, just do numbers.

Speaker 50:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 50:04 It's way easier.

Speaker 50:04 Focuses on two. Um, Lewis currently does the heavy lifting with one.

Trevor Noah 50:09 Okay.

Speaker 50:10 So he gets Obi dressed for school, gives him breakfast, takes him to school-

Trevor Noah 50:13 Right

Speaker 50:13 ... takes him to any activity he needs to have,

Speaker 50:16 and then brings him back, et cetera, et cetera, and I focus on three.

Trevor Noah 50:19 Okay.

Speaker 50:19 Um, but we have a, like, a great village. Like, my parents have come out to New York this week-

Trevor Noah 50:25 Yeah

Speaker 50:25 ... to record these episodes. My parents came out from London. They're currently in the hotel, like, 10 minutes away with Cora, um, three. Lewis' parents have already come out. They came out shortly after-

Trevor Noah 50:35 Yeah

Speaker 50:35 ... Cora was born, and they spent two weeks with us, helping us out. So even though we don't have our village always physically pres- present, people are very supportive. And I think, you know, it's great to have, like, the physical support, but so much of parenting is just, like, the psychological toll, and you guys are-

Trevor Noah 50:51 Oh

Speaker 50:51 ... part of the village. Like, friends, family-

Trevor Noah 50:54 Mm-hmm

Speaker 50:54 ... how are you doing, checking in. Three of my best friends from my childhood, we were school girls together, we're in a group chat, and we're always, like, encouraging each other. Um-

Trevor Noah 51:03 Do they also have kids?

Speaker 51:04 They also have kids.

Trevor Noah 51:05 Okay, close.

Speaker 51:05 They also have kids. And we're all in different life phases with the kids and ages and, and all that. And even before, they were like, "How are you? How are you feeling? You've got your pump," like, or texting me-

Trevor Noah 51:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 51:14 ... or if I came in to get day. So we have a village. We are incredibly supported, but we still most days feel like we're treading water. So I cannot imagine how I think most parents-

Trevor Noah 51:25 Mm-hmm

Speaker 51:25 ... in America or in the West are just drowning.

Trevor Noah 51:27 Yeah, I, it, I'm, I'm glad you said in the West, because that's something that I've, I've found is the ultimate, um, paradox of coming from a developed country versus a developing nation. You know?

Speaker 51:41 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 51:41 So First World, Third World, is the thing that you're sold in developed nations is that you have everything. Oh, it's great, the roads work-

Speaker 51:51 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 51:51 ... and the schools are fantastic-

Speaker 51:52 Yeah

Trevor Noah 51:52 ... and there's healthcare, and we know that this is a great country to be in. The one thing that nobody seems to tell you is that as a country becomes more and more developed, the one thing that gets eroded is community.

Speaker 52:05 Yeah.

Speaker 52:05 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 52:06 The village disappears.

Speaker 52:07 Yeah.

Speaker 52:08 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 52:08 And what you have to do is you have to buy the village back.

Speaker 52:10 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 52:11 You know?

Speaker 52:11 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 52:11 You have to buy the house, buy a housekeeper.

Trevor Noah 52:12 You literally, you have to buy-

Speaker 52:14 Yeah

Trevor Noah 52:14 ... somebody to look after-

Speaker 52:15 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 52:15 ... your kid.

Speaker 52:16 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 52:16 You have to buy somebody to help you clean your house. You have to buy somebody to help you fix your-

Speaker 52:20 Cook. Yeah, yeah

Trevor Noah 52:21 ... you have to buy somebody to cook. You have to buy... You're buying the same, the same village that they tricked you into not having. Like, I always, I always, I, I'm, I'm always amazed at the con of it all.

Speaker 52:31 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 52:32 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 52:32 This machine, this larger thing, told everyone, "You should get your own house, and you should live by yourselves."

Speaker 52:38 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 52:38 "How can you still live with your parents-

Speaker 52:40 Yeah

Trevor Noah 52:40 ... in the same house? This is ridiculous." What-

Speaker 52:42 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 52:42 And so everyone goes off, they get their own house to live by themselves. They have a kid, and now you need somebody to come and look after the kid, but they can't just come a few. If you, you know what? You should get a bigger house. They could live with you. You could have a live-in nanny.

Speaker 52:55 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 52:56 Where I'm from, they, they call that an aunt.

Speaker 52:58 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 52:58 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 52:59 Or a sister.

Trevor Noah 52:59 They call that a grandmother.

Speaker 53:00 Family. Yeah.

Speaker 53:00 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 53:00 They call it a sister.

Speaker 53:01 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 53:02 They call it a... And, and in the West, that's one of the biggest things I've realized, is every time people bring up statistics of how birth rates are declining in the West-

Speaker 53:10 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 53:10 ... I'm, I'm amazed at how people never seem to want to talk about the fact that the West doesn't encourage people to have kids. And what I mean by encourage is not telling people to do it.

Speaker 53:23 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 53:23 But encouraging is facilitating-

Speaker 53:25 Yeah

Trevor Noah 53:25 ... I think, in many ways.

Speaker 53:26 Yes. So I remember years ago when we had this conversation for the first time of, like, being careful not to let people convince you you need to, like, buy the people you need-

Trevor Noah 53:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 53:38 ... and stuff like that. Because at the end of the day, this person you pay, this person you pay, this person you pay, none of them would, like, come and get you.

Trevor Noah 53:44 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 53:45 Like, that's not who you call. You know what I mean? It's like, "No, no. I just watch your kid."

Speaker 53:48 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 53:48 "I'm not gonna come get you from a bar."

Trevor Noah 53:49 Yeah.

Speaker 53:50 'Cause they're not your friends.

Trevor Noah 53:50 Yeah, they're not.

Speaker 53:51 And, and so-

Trevor Noah 53:52 They can become, in some ways-

Speaker 53:53 They can become

Trevor Noah 53:54 ... people over time, but-

Speaker 53:54 Yeah.

Speaker 53:55 Yeah

Trevor Noah 53:55 ... yes.

Speaker 53:56 And so, so then, uh, there, there's, like, that specific aspect which I've, I've tried to, like, apply to my life, and I've tried to tell as many people as possible. Like, "Hey, hey, this could be a friend." 'Cause that's what we're doing with AI now. Like, there's literally, like, AI friends-

Trevor Noah 54:13 Yeah, there are

Speaker 54:13 ... in a way.

Speaker 54:13 Yeah.

Speaker 54:13 And I'm like, "Guys, come on, come on."

Speaker 54:15 Yeah.

Speaker 54:15 "Try, try it with a person." You know what I mean? It won't be perfect. But then the other thing that you both have sort of, like, helped me contextualize for the first time is that, like, it's a, it's amazing that business is able to do the things that people think are impossible in their own life. So you, you're, you're Doritos, you're Lay's, you're whatever. You see Ozempic. Everyone says that everybody's on it, but a lot of people can't even afford it.

Trevor Noah 54:39 The-

Speaker 54:39 So, like-

Trevor Noah 54:40 All, all people, essentially.

Speaker 54:41 Yeah. And so it's like, this is just the first, like, 2% of what we're-

Trevor Noah 54:45 Mm-hmm

Speaker 54:45 ... gonna see from these drugs.

Trevor Noah 54:46 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 54:46 And already they're like, "Okay, then we need blockers."

Speaker 54:49 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 54:49 "We need blockers so that by the time the, the poors can afford it, it won't even work."

Trevor Noah 54:53 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 54:53 Right?

Trevor Noah 54:54 Yeah.

Speaker 54:54 And that thing is, like, seeing a need and addressing it immediately.

Trevor Noah 54:59 Oh, damn.

Speaker 54:59 Whereas, like, with people, they're telling us, "You should have kids. There's a birth decline, everything." It's like, well, then as a business, don't you think that it would benefit you-

Trevor Noah 55:07 Yeah

Speaker 55:08 ... as quickly as possible to institute some sort of, like, maternity, paternity leave to, to, like, to, like, have these systems set up in your business so that way the next crop of people that you hire will be comfortable having a kid, and now you have more employees for the future. But everyone is, like, so-

Trevor Noah 55:24 Pro- [laughs]

Speaker 55:25 ... compounded on it.

Speaker 55:26 Yeah.

Speaker 55:26 And, and pro-... And because we were made to be cogs, it, not, not like people.

Trevor Noah 55:30 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 55:30 Like, if you, if y- you, you talk about the birth rate and- Only some people care about the birth rate. The rest of the people talking about the birth rate care about the supply.

Trevor Noah 55:40 No, they do.

Speaker 55:40 Yeah, I mean-

Trevor Noah 55:41 They, they completely care about it that way.

Speaker 55:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:42 They go, "The market is gonna collapse."

Speaker 55:43 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:43 That's what they mean by-

Speaker 55:44 Yeah

Trevor Noah 55:45 ... the birth rate.

Speaker 55:45 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:46 They're not saying it like people will disappear.

Speaker 55:48 Yeah.

Speaker 55:48 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 55:48 They're saying, "Guys, we ... If this happens, at some point the economy's gonna collapse-

Speaker 55:52 We won't have no labor

Trevor Noah 55:53 ... because there won't be a new labor force."

Speaker 55:55 Yeah.

Speaker 55:55 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:55 You're not wrong.

Speaker 55:55 Yeah.

Speaker 55:55 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:55 It is completely through the lens of labor.

Speaker 55:57 I think-

Speaker 55:57 And so that, that just blows my mind-

Speaker 55:59 Yeah

Speaker 55:59 ... that we're there.

Speaker 56:00 I mean, what they've seen, I think there was Japan a few years ago experienced the first year where they sold more adult diapers than diapers for babies.

Trevor Noah 56:08 Oh.

Speaker 56:09 'Cause of they have this huge geriatric population.

Trevor Noah 56:12 Oh.

Speaker 56:12 Hmm.

Speaker 56:12 But people aren't having kids. But to, to both of your points, um, maybe 'cause of the way I was raised, and so my husband's Dominican, so very immigrant family, very family-focused.

Trevor Noah 56:23 Dominicano.

Speaker 56:24 Dominicano. And I'm, I'm Nigerian.

Trevor Noah 56:26 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 56:27 And you, you know, you know what that means. We live in LA, which some people say is a vapid place or whatever, but there are good people there, and we focus a lot on building our community. Like-

Trevor Noah 56:37 Yeah

Speaker 56:37 ... we take our friends' kids.

Trevor Noah 56:39 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 56:39 E- even when I was pregnant, I would take a friend's kid, and people take our kids. And one thing I will say in this postpartum period, it ... Being, t- spending time with other people and being active in our com- trying to build that community, it paid dividends in small ways. There was a mom at Obi's school who sent me a text, and she was like, "I've dropped something at your door."

Trevor Noah 56:58 Aw.

Speaker 56:58 Oh.

Speaker 56:58 Like, it was this, it was like a very sweet-

Trevor Noah 57:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 57:00 ... big up lane. [laughs] She dropped something at my door, and I looked out. She'd brought me just some tea. I had another friend, my friend Chris, she was just like, "I'm in the neighborhood," and she'd bought food, like, that y- you can heat up and stuff like that. And then Cora's godparents, um, Dar and Emmy, they came by, just held the baby for a bit. So I think sometimes we complain about not having community, but are we trying to be good community and village members? And I think that we're in this, like, me, me, me, selfish society-

Trevor Noah 57:28 Yeah

Speaker 57:28 ... whether it's about, whether about your grind, your money, your holidays-

Trevor Noah 57:31 Yeah, yeah

Speaker 57:31 ... whatever you're into. And we've actually forgot how to be village mem- members, and we ... Then we, we're shocked we don't have a village. So for the last couple of years, I, I was a, I was doing that myself. So I was just like, "How can I be better to the people around me or just show up in the small ways that I can?" And this is why I think this third time around, being in a country that's not my own, I felt more settled, more supportive, more checked in because I was always ... I've been more present for other people. And I think that that's a hard thing to say to mothers or parents that, like, how many people are you there for? Because you're like, "Well, I'm drowning." But I think if you have that mentality of like, what's the little thing I can do for ... You know, is there a parent in my, um, child's class that I can be like, "Oh, I'll-

Trevor Noah 58:17 So there's a-

Speaker 58:17 ... I'll drop them home sometimes.

Trevor Noah 58:19 Yeah.

Speaker 58:19 Or what's the little thing you can do? And that accumulates, and that's how you build a village. [upbeat music]

Speaker 58:25 Don't go anywhere, 'cause we got more What Now? after this. [upbeat music]

Trevor Noah 58:36 So there's a, there's a paradoxical idea that is very difficult for people to accept, but it is almost unanimously agreed on as being true, and that is that over time, load starts, starts to, like, level off if it was a curve.

Speaker 58:53 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 58:53 You know what I mean? So if you're looking after a child, it's a lot of work. If you're looking after two children, it's more work. You know, three children, i- it's work. It's weird, but at some point the work doesn't actually increase a- you know, at, at the same rates. You know what I mean?

Speaker 59:08 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 59:09 So it's, it's, it's not jumping.

Speaker 59:10 Are you pitching me to have more kids, Trevor?

Trevor Noah 59:11 No, no, no.

Speaker 59:12 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 59:12 No, but surprisingly, it, it really isn't. It, it, it isn't jumping in the same way.

Speaker 59:15 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 59:16 Now, costs might jump, and don't get me wrong-

Speaker 59:17 Yeah

Trevor Noah 59:17 ... on that side. But, like, think of it this way. I, I, I love that you said that. We live in a world where everyone thinks ... And I understand why people think this. Everyone thinks that they're doing it alone, right? So you're grinding alone. You're running alone. You're having a baby a- alone. You, you ... Everything you think you're doing alone. You really do think you're doing it alone. And the world, I think, tells you you're doing it alone. And then part of the way it does it to you, I feel, is it tricks us into rewarding us alone. I think that's like a-

Speaker 59:44 Yeah

Trevor Noah 59:44 ... key thing as well.

Speaker 59:45 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 59:45 Personal bonuses. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 59:47 Yeah. It's a personal bonus, and it's like, it's a private thing, and it's-

Speaker 59:50 Yeah

Trevor Noah 59:50 ... your money, you know?

Speaker 59:51 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 59:52 But if you, to your point, took on a little more load in your world for somebody else, you don't realize how you've given them 1,000 times more space, right? So let's say a couple has their kids, and they say to all the parents in their group, "Hey, send your kids on ... Every Thursday, we'll look after everyone's kids if you want."

Speaker 1:00:15 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:00:15 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:00:15 "Like, we're gonna host, like, a little mini kindergarten type thing." Now, don't get me wrong, you might hate your Thursdays.

Speaker 1:00:20 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:00:20 You might be like, "Okay, this is war. Here we go. The invasion begins 6:00 PM."

Speaker 1:00:25 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:00:25 "It's on. We hate our lives." But the amount of space you've created for the other, let's say, five families that have dropped off their kids, it, it scales exponentially w- like, way beyond what you are receiving as, as load. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:00:40 Yeah, for sure.

Trevor Noah 1:00:40 Right?

Speaker 1:00:41 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:00:41 They get to go off. They get to have a couples date. They get to go work more if they need to.

Speaker 1:00:45 Sleep. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:00:45 They get to go sleep. They get to do something. But if everyone is doing that on every day-

Speaker 1:00:49 That's true

Trevor Noah 1:00:50 ... all of a sudden you're in a world where we ... Which we should be trying to get back to-

Speaker 1:00:53 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 1:00:53 ... which is what we had when we were growing up. I know our parents had a tough time in, in South Africa. I know they did, but I can tell you they didn't have as tough a time, contrary to what people may believe.

Speaker 1:01:03 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:01:03 'Cause you might think coming from a Third World country means you'll have a harder time raising kids. I actually think a lot of it was easier because the load was always-

Speaker 1:01:12 Shared

Trevor Noah 1:01:12 ... the load was always shared.

Speaker 1:01:13 Shared.

Speaker 1:01:14 Yeah.

Speaker 1:01:14 It's so funny you say that about, like, um, community. Right now, I'd say one of the most invaluable members of my community is my god-sister E- Emily.

Trevor Noah 1:01:21 Yeah.

Speaker 1:01:22 She moved in with us in January, and when I told f- like, just strangers that, "Oh, yeah, my god-sister's gonna move in with us," people are like, "Why would you want someone in their early 20? That's so weird." Like, I was just like, "Yeah, you know, she's coming out to LA. She's got a job." I'm like, you know, "I love her to bits. I love her parents. Just, like, let her come live with us." And it's so f- now I see the benefits of, like, intergenerational households.

Trevor Noah 1:01:44 Yeah.

Speaker 1:01:44 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:01:44 Because now Obi has someone to look to-

Trevor Noah 1:01:46 Yes

Speaker 1:01:47 ... who's not as old as-

Trevor Noah 1:01:48 Yes

Speaker 1:01:48 ... 'cause she was, he was like, "What are you? You're not a grown-up."

Trevor Noah 1:01:51 [laughs]

Speaker 1:01:51 [laughs]

Speaker 1:01:51 Like, he, he doesn't even know what this thing is.

Speaker 1:01:53 Yeah.

Speaker 1:01:53 She's like, he was, he was like, "Well, I am a grown-up, but I am a y- I'm a young grown-up." So he, he has this thing to look to that he can play with, is like a pressure relief valve.

Trevor Noah 1:02:00 Right.

Speaker 1:02:01 I just have a- another sis- a sister in the house.

Speaker 1:02:04 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:02:04 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:02:05 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:02:05 And then she has, like, an older sister, older brother to kinda look up to, to ask questions to, and it's changed the rhythm of all of our lives. Like [laughs]

Speaker 1:02:14 Yeah.

Speaker 1:02:14 She's up early in the morning 'cause of the kids. I'm learning about Chapel Rowan and all these crazy people because of her.

Speaker 1:02:19 [laughs] Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:02:19 [laughs]

Speaker 1:02:20 I'm like-

Speaker 1:02:20 Yeah

Speaker 1:02:20 ... "What, what on earth is..." No, but it's like, it's opening my mind. It's expanding my heart, and it's just like we have a bigger family. Now, there's some cultures where you would never let someone live with you.

Trevor Noah 1:02:30 Yeah.

Speaker 1:02:30 That is not in your v- But it's been one of the best things-

Trevor Noah 1:02:34 Yeah

Speaker 1:02:34 ... I think, to happen to all of us.

Trevor Noah 1:02:35 Yes.

Speaker 1:02:35 And then when we had Lewis's parents there, uh, we had, like, the grandparents-

Trevor Noah 1:02:39 Yes

Speaker 1:02:40 ... the parents.

Trevor Noah 1:02:40 And that's how it's supposed to be.

Speaker 1:02:41 And then I was like, oh, the rhythm where we're living now-

Trevor Noah 1:02:43 Yeah

Speaker 1:02:44 ... when someone's alone or-

Trevor Noah 1:02:45 No

Speaker 1:02:45 ... you're having a two p- four family with 2.5 kids, that is not how it's s- We're actually all supposed to be communal-

Trevor Noah 1:02:51 Yes

Speaker 1:02:51 ... and have multiple generations in the same space, and not having that is really bad for us.

Speaker 1:02:56 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:02:56 I think it's the worst thing that we've done.

Speaker 1:02:58 Well, I think about when I was little and staying at my grandparents if my mom had to go to work, or, like, visiting my aunt or, you know, whatever it was, and then my parents were separated for a little bit, so I'd go over to my dad's or whatever, and I was like, man, after what you just said-

Speaker 1:03:12 Mm

Speaker 1:03:12 ... and what you've been saying, I'm like, yeah, I spent just enough time with everyone that everyone liked me. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:03:18 [laughs]

Speaker 1:03:18 Do you know what I mean? I didn't really have enough time to get on anybody's nerves in that way.

Speaker 1:03:22 Yeah, yeah. You weren't a burden.

Trevor Noah 1:03:23 Which is true, by the way.

Speaker 1:03:23 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:03:23 And your mom was a single mom, right?

Speaker 1:03:25 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:03:25 And that's crazy for a s-

Trevor Noah 1:03:26 Yes

Speaker 1:03:26 ... my son wasn't a burden.

Trevor Noah 1:03:28 Yeah.

Speaker 1:03:28 'Cause if you speak to most single mothers today-

Speaker 1:03:30 Yeah

Speaker 1:03:30 ... they're like, "I'm a-"

Trevor Noah 1:03:31 Overwhelmed.

Speaker 1:03:32 Overw-

Trevor Noah 1:03:32 Yeah.

Speaker 1:03:33 "I'm drowning."

Speaker 1:03:34 Yeah.

Speaker 1:03:34 And it actually impacts the relationship I have with this kid, 'cause I'm always strained and I'm tense.

Trevor Noah 1:03:39 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:03:40 Yeah.

Speaker 1:03:40 But just having that pressure relief valve-

Speaker 1:03:41 'Cause-

Speaker 1:03:42 ... like, "Oh, I like my kid"

Speaker 1:03:42 ... to be fair to my mom, it's like her breaks from me were work, but at the same time, sometimes it was just, like, going to my grandma's for no reason. So it's like, sometimes it was like, yeah, her break from me was having to, like, do her job, but at the same time, there were some times where I was just-

Trevor Noah 1:03:58 Completely

Speaker 1:03:59 ... at my grandparents for no reason.

Speaker 1:04:00 Yeah.

Speaker 1:04:00 And not no reason, but to spend time with them.

Speaker 1:04:02 Yeah.

Speaker 1:04:03 And so it's like I was such a mama's boy as well that, like, by the time she comes to pick me up, I'm so excited, and she can be excited-

Speaker 1:04:10 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:10 ... because I'm like, "Ma!"

Speaker 1:04:12 Yeah.

Speaker 1:04:12 Whereas, ooh, I remember one time, I don't know if my grandparents were sick or what it was, but I couldn't go over there, and it was just us, and I was like, "Mm, I do talk a lot."

Trevor Noah 1:04:21 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:22 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:25 And my mom wasn't even yelling at me or anything-

Trevor Noah 1:04:26 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:27 ... but I could see it on her face where I was like-

Speaker 1:04:28 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:29 ... "Mm, this story is going long."

Trevor Noah 1:04:31 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:33 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:34 I had to be, like, 11 or something. I was like, "Oof, ooh." It was like I was old enough to, like, recognize-

Trevor Noah 1:04:39 Yeah, yeah

Speaker 1:04:39 ... in her face.

Trevor Noah 1:04:40 You, your, your, your, um, what do, what do they call it again? Your self-awareness.

Speaker 1:04:43 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:04:43 That, that's like the age where self-awareness starts to kick in.

Speaker 1:04:45 It was like, yeah, and I was just like-

Speaker 1:04:47 Yeah

Speaker 1:04:47 ... "Oh, oh, and I wanna get to the end," but she, she keeps looking-

Trevor Noah 1:04:51 This is amazing

Speaker 1:04:51 ... at the ground.

Trevor Noah 1:04:52 [laughs]

Speaker 1:04:53 Oh, yeah. Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:04:54 This was your first bombing in front of an audience.

Speaker 1:04:56 Yeah, yeah. I was like-

Trevor Noah 1:04:57 As a, as a comic, you know that feeling where you're like-

Speaker 1:04:59 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:04:59 ... "Mm, should, should I finish the bit? Should I?"

Speaker 1:05:01 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:05:02 "Oh, I've lost them. Oh, I've lost them."

Speaker 1:05:04 'Cause if I stop the story right now, I'm gonna seem like I have a head injury.

Trevor Noah 1:05:07 Yes. [laughs]

Speaker 1:05:07 [laughs]

Speaker 1:05:07 She's gonna take me to the hospital 'cause I'm, like, gearing up, and it's like, I don't think the turn is enough. Yeah.

Speaker 1:05:14 Trevor, you were raised like that, right?

Trevor Noah 1:05:16 Well, I mean-

Speaker 1:05:16 Yeah, I was completely-

Speaker 1:05:16 With the village compound-

Trevor Noah 1:05:17 Peop- how-

Speaker 1:05:17 ... with your cousins

Trevor Noah 1:05:18 ... can I, can I tell you, m- probably one of the biggest things that keeps me afraid of having a kid, especially in America, is I, I just, ugh, I'm like it, it doesn't seem like what you'd want a childhood to be.

Speaker 1:05:31 No, it's not.

Trevor Noah 1:05:32 Also because of how they've robbed children of autonomy.

Speaker 1:05:36 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:05:36 Like, when I was a child, you know what my job was 99% of the time? Go play.

Speaker 1:05:41 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:05:41 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:05:41 That was like my job.

Speaker 1:05:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:05:42 That was like my official... If you said to me, like, "What is your job?" I'd be like, "Uh, I gotta go play."

Speaker 1:05:46 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:05:46 My, my mom, my grandmother, they would say, "Go outside and play. You go play with other children. You go to the park, you meet the other kids at the park, and you play."

Speaker 1:05:55 Yeah.

Speaker 1:05:55 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:05:56 The, the park hierarchy figures itself out. There's a kid that swings the swing too hard. You might fall, you cry, then you stop crying.

Speaker 1:06:04 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:06:04 And then you... When I walk past, past playgrounds today, there's this little prison yard.

Speaker 1:06:09 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:06:10 Every parent is watching every kid. Like, every parent.

Speaker 1:06:13 Mm.

Speaker 1:06:13 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:06:13 Every parent.

Speaker 1:06:13 They're, they're really surveilled, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:06:15 You could have two parents watching 30 kids. I think you'd be fine.

Speaker 1:06:20 [laughs]

Speaker 1:06:20 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:06:20 I genuinely think you could be fine.

Speaker 1:06:22 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:06:22 I don't know why people don't have contracts at the park and just be like, "All right, guys, who are the two parents of the day?"

Speaker 1:06:26 Yeah.

Speaker 1:06:26 Pedophiles, Trevor.

Trevor Noah 1:06:27 You just need two people to just-

Speaker 1:06:28 We're all afraid of pedophiles.

Trevor Noah 1:06:29 Yeah. G- but this is a, this is a overblown, it's a crazy ... Do you know how... You know, I've been on this deep dive recently of going down rabbit holes, seeing where our, like, fears and, and all these ideas-

Speaker 1:06:40 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:06:40 ... came from. A few kids got kidnapped when the news thought it was the best story, and now everyone's like-

Speaker 1:06:46 Yeah, everyone's-

Trevor Noah 1:06:46 ... every kid gets kidnapped. No, children don't get kidnapped.

Speaker 1:06:49 But also-

Trevor Noah 1:06:49 They don't

Speaker 1:06:50 ... who wants to take any ki- I'm not worried about-

Trevor Noah 1:06:52 Guys, kids-

Speaker 1:06:52 ... my kids getting kidnapped. They're, they're-

Trevor Noah 1:06:53 Kids don't-

Speaker 1:06:53 The kidnapper will bring them back. It's-

Trevor Noah 1:06:55 The number, and I know someone will be like, "What about this kid?" No, I'm not saying no kids get kidnapped, but I'm saying for the amount of stress that people have about it-

Speaker 1:07:02 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:07:02 ... trust me, you could have two parents at a park.

Speaker 1:07:05 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:07:05 It's already fenced in. Tell the rest of the parents, "Go hang out, go have fun, go talk to each other, get to know each other, build your community. Let your kids figure it out." Kids are not... You, if you're, i- I can't imagine what it would be like watching my child slide down a slide every single time.

Speaker 1:07:20 Mm.

Speaker 1:07:21 It's miserable.

Trevor Noah 1:07:21 I would hate them, and I would hate myself.

Speaker 1:07:23 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:07:24 "Daddy, look." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Daddy, look again."

Speaker 1:07:27 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:07:27 "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Daddy, look again." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." No, at some point, and I, I'm not saying that I don't wanna see the kids slide ever.

Speaker 1:07:36 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:07:36 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:07:36 But I also want the kids to slide for themselves.

Speaker 1:07:39 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:07:39 I don't want the kids to live in a world where they're only sliding when Daddy or Mommy's looking, and I also want them to know that, like, you can fall off a slide.

Speaker 1:07:46 Yeah.

Speaker 1:07:46 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:07:46 I'm not gonna catch you There's gonna be moments where you're gonna fall, and you're just gonna hit the ground, and you're gonna bump something-

Speaker 1:07:51 Oh

Trevor Noah 1:07:51 ... and you're gonna smack something, and you're gonna come back with, like, a bruise. Do you know how nice it was to go home to your parents and they go, "What happened?" Would, like-

Speaker 1:07:58 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:07:58 ... imagine not having that.

Speaker 1:08:00 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:08:00 Yeah.

Speaker 1:08:00 No, 'cause then you have a story-

Speaker 1:08:01 Well, we have-

Speaker 1:08:01 ... and I love to talk

Trevor Noah 1:08:01 ... it's amazing. You come home with [laughs]

Speaker 1:08:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:08:04 Jots and back. But wait, but Chri- Christiana, I wanted to know something. Like, you, you keep saying postpartum.

Speaker 1:08:08 Yes.

Trevor Noah 1:08:09 For everyone, 'cause I mean-

Speaker 1:08:12 The fourth trimester-

Trevor Noah 1:08:13 Yeah

Speaker 1:08:13 ... which I'm just out of

Trevor Noah 1:08:14 ... but, yeah, I would love to know for, for everyone. You know, for men, but for people who haven't had kids, for ... Please, can you break this down? Like, everyone just talks about postpartum.

Speaker 1:08:22 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:08:22 And then sometimes I'll hear people say postpartum depression, and but-

Speaker 1:08:25 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 1:08:25 ... w- what is postpartum? Like, what is it actually?

Speaker 1:08:28 Yeah. It's the immediate period-

Trevor Noah 1:08:29 Yeah

Speaker 1:08:30 ... um, after you've had a, a child.

Trevor Noah 1:08:33 Okay.

Speaker 1:08:33 After you've given birth. It goes up until ... Well, they say, the doctors say it takes two years for your body to be what it was before, and it's never gonna be what it was before, but to, like, kinda get back to it. And postpartum looks different for everyone, but there's this huge hormonal crash, 'cause your body's making all these hormones to grow the baby.

Trevor Noah 1:08:51 Yeah.

Speaker 1:08:52 And then there's this huge crash, and that can mean lots of different things. Your hair falls out for a lot of women. I always, my hair falls out. I've, every time I'm pregnant.

Trevor Noah 1:08:59 So you, you lose the, like ... Or not lose.

Speaker 1:09:01 Your hair grows-

Trevor Noah 1:09:01 You have the baby.

Speaker 1:09:02 Yeah. Your hair grows in pregnancy. Some of you glowing, your nails.

Trevor Noah 1:09:05 Wow.

Speaker 1:09:05 And then you have the baby, and all of those hormones, like progesterone, everything comes down. And, um, I get horrible night sweats. That's my really gross thing. So in the night, I always have to ... I w- I have nights that's so bad my fingers wrinkle, and I get shivers. So that wakes me up, and I put on some new pajamas every time. So you get stuff like night sweats, hair falling out. You know, in the immediate period when your breast- if you're breastfeeding, your breasts get really engorged, and they, like, breastfeeding can be quite rocky for some people. Um, your skin changes. Obviously, your body changes. All your organs are moving back into position. Like, your uterus is coming down again, uh, you know, 'cause pregnancy moves your organs out the way. Um, and then for some women that involves anxiety, depression. Coming with the hormones, also 'cause the stress. Like, a newborn is, like, a very fragile thing.

Trevor Noah 1:09:56 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:09:56 And I think from a completely, like, evolutionary biology perspective, your job is, like, to keep it alive. So it's just, like, you- some women get these thing called phantom cries. You hear your baby crying even though they're not crying. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:10:08 That must suck.

Speaker 1:10:09 Which happens a ... Which, yeah. You're just like, "The baby's crying," and your husband's like, "No, it's not." [laughs] But it's just, like, it's, it's all of these things at once. And all the research shows that women in cultures who are more supportive, supported, have less postpartum, um, anxiety. A big thing that actually helped me this time is that, um, our pediatrician, just amazing woman called Dr. Priest, she does home visits. Um, so Dr. Priest would come over and weigh Cora and ask any questions.

Trevor Noah 1:10:38 At home.

Speaker 1:10:39 At home.

Trevor Noah 1:10:39 Okay.

Speaker 1:10:39 'Cause before I would have to-

Trevor Noah 1:10:41 Yeah

Speaker 1:10:41 ... go-

Trevor Noah 1:10:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 1:10:42 ... to a, a different facility to go see the pediatrician somewhere else. So I think a big part of what helped my postpartum this time that our pediatrician would come to the house. I'd be in my pajamas. She'd do the exam, and then she'd ask me, like, "How you doing?" She'd just chat, check in.

Trevor Noah 1:10:56 Mm.

Speaker 1:10:56 "How's breastfeeding going? Oh, you, you're not sure about the latch? Have you thought about this? Have you thought about ... Well, her weight's great. Well, da, da ..." Oh, you know, it's just that having a, a, a, the person that was medically supervised to look after my child-

Trevor Noah 1:11:07 Right

Speaker 1:11:07 ... was a big part in ... And her coming to the home. That changed everything.

Trevor Noah 1:11:11 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:11:11 Um, so I didn't have the postpartum anxiety that I typically have had in the past.

Trevor Noah 1:11:17 Mm.

Speaker 1:11:17 And I think I had some of the confidence of a third-time mom. Um, but you know, postpartum is also a big identity shift, because every time you have, um, a baby, you do go through that shift.

Trevor Noah 1:11:29 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:11:30 And now it's like a new identity as a mom of three, or as the kid at my kids' school said, "Obi's mom, why are you always having babies?" [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:11:41 [laughs]

Speaker 1:11:41 Big up to her. Um, so, like, for us-

Trevor Noah 1:11:44 Obi's mom-

Speaker 1:11:45 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:11:45 ... why are you always having babies?

Speaker 1:11:46 Having babies. And for a lot of women, you don't wanna just be known as a mother. You still wanna feel like yourself, but you, you have to find a new self every time, and that's very unsettling.

Trevor Noah 1:11:56 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:11:57 You know? So, like, postpartum is a big thing, and I think it's not necessarily recognized. It's not talked about, and there's a lot of shame around it, um, because no one wants to feel like they're weak or they're inadequate, you know?

Trevor Noah 1:12:10 Yeah.

Speaker 1:12:10 And I, I still do, I still think that's, even in the most developed societies or more supportive soci- society, we still haven't figured out how to help women in that next life phase.

Trevor Noah 1:12:19 And, and that's where I find in traditional cultures, uh, I can speak specifically, like, in, in South African ones, a, a lot of that load is just taken off your shoulders.

Speaker 1:12:30 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:12:30 So, so for instance, one of the big ones is, um, elderly women sort of tell you that you don't know what you're doing, and they're like, "It's fine."

Speaker 1:12:37 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:12:37 They don't even give you the whole, like, um, you're supposed to know what ... No, no, no. No, no. They're just like, "No, no, bring the kid. Bring the baby."

Speaker 1:12:44 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:12:44 "You don't know what you're doing. Go sleep."

Speaker 1:12:45 Go rest, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:12:46 "Go sleep."

Speaker 1:12:46 Someone cooks for you.

Trevor Noah 1:12:46 And they, they look after the baby.

Speaker 1:12:48 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:12:48 And someone cooks for you, and another person does your clothes. And they'll, like, make sure your clothes are clean, and they wash you, and they help you, and they comb your hair. Then they bring the baby back. But the job of elderly women-

Speaker 1:12:58 Mm

Trevor Noah 1:12:58 ... in a lot of, like, South African society and African society as a whole, they'll just be like, "No, no, no. Your job was to have the baby."

Speaker 1:13:04 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:13:04 "Our job as the village is to help you raise the baby now."

Speaker 1:13:07 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:13:07 "But you relax. You go sleep." You almost ... I would be, I would be intrigued to find out if anyone who grew up in a very traditional society, if they have phantom cries, because I feel like if you know that there are other women looking after the baby-

Speaker 1:13:21 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:13:21 ... I wonder if your brain can, like, actually turn off and go like, "It's fine."

Speaker 1:13:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:13:24 "They're not crying." And even if they were crying, somebody's there looking after them.

Speaker 1:13:28 Yeah. Well, I, like, um, for Obi and for Luna, I did a thing called umghotgo, which is in Igbo culture, the 40 days after you have a, a baby. My mom came, and my dad being very modern also joined my mom for this thing.

Trevor Noah 1:13:39 Hey.

Speaker 1:13:39 He said, the first time he did this, like, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Trevor Noah 1:13:41 Aw.

Speaker 1:13:41 "Women are supposed to do it." But he came out, and they did all of that. Like, they'd made, like, the pepper soups, and my mom was-

Trevor Noah 1:13:47 Yes. Yes, yes

Speaker 1:13:47 ... doing the belly binding and all of that stuff. This time it, we, we didn't do it. But yeah, that whole thing of being really having people around you. There's a TikTok video that's gone super viral- Um, of, as a group of Black women, they drive up to their friend's house, they're playing Girl by Destiny's Child, and they're screaming it. And the, their friend closes the window and shuts the curtains. And they're like, "Girl," they're singing the song, they're, "You need to come outside." And they break down the door. Basically, she was postpartum.

Trevor Noah 1:14:15 Oh.

Speaker 1:14:15 And she'd been sending these texts about, um, not feeling too good. And, and they were like, "We were gonna... We broke down the door to see her." And I think, like, if you're in a culture where it's not like South Africa or Nigeria-

Trevor Noah 1:14:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Speaker 1:14:27 ... or like developing countries where the system is in place, like, your friends need to be willing to, like, break down the door. Like, just intrude.

Trevor Noah 1:14:33 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:14:33 You know? Like, 'cause in the West you're so f-

Trevor Noah 1:14:35 It is

Speaker 1:14:35 ... afraid of intruding. Like-

Trevor Noah 1:14:36 Yeah, your personal space is-

Speaker 1:14:37 You have these texts-

Trevor Noah 1:14:38 ... is overly respected

Speaker 1:14:38 ... like, you know, there's cultures where people just show up to your house.

Trevor Noah 1:14:40 Yes.

Speaker 1:14:40 Here you plan. You don't even go to the-

Trevor Noah 1:14:41 "Hey, Josh, are you home?"

Speaker 1:14:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:14:42 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:14:42 You go to a restaurant here. You don't even go to people's house.

Trevor Noah 1:14:44 Yeah.

Speaker 1:14:44 I think don't be afraid to intrude in those ways. Like, "You good? You good? You good?"

Trevor Noah 1:14:49 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:14:49 Because I think most women and men are afraid to ask for help, so you have to just, like, do the thing. Don't say, "What do you need?" Just do a thing.

Trevor Noah 1:14:58 You know what we, we should do? We, we'll, we'll actually have an episode on the ... We should bring somebody on who, like, specializes on, I mean, the topic of maternity-

Speaker 1:15:06 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 1:15:06 ... and the ... 'Cause I think, I think there's a, there's a, there's a lot in it that we could enjoy. Because I, one of the biggest things I've come to realize in having conversations about everything, really, is you'll be shocked at how many times the thing that you think doesn't affect you completely affects you.

Speaker 1:15:21 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:15:21 You know? So you think, "Oh, we're talking about pregnancy or postpartum." Most men will go, "Well, I guess I'm not part of this conversation." But even in the moments we've had here, I think about how many men out there are at an office now, stressed out out of their minds, and not figuring out what to do, or emotionally drained because they don't feel like they're showing up for their kid-

Speaker 1:15:43 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 1:15:43 ... or not understanding how to be supportive to their partner. You know, some men out there, like Josh, are not supporting pregnant women in their lives at all.

Speaker 1:15:51 [laughs] I, I-

Trevor Noah 1:15:51 They're not sticking around for the pregnancy

Speaker 1:15:53 ... I am, I am doing my best. I am only so involved-

Trevor Noah 1:15:55 [laughs]

Speaker 1:15:56 [laughs]

Speaker 1:15:56 ... because it is not my child.

Trevor Noah 1:15:58 [laughs] No, but I, I, I think we should do it. We should have, like, a full-on, you know?

Speaker 1:16:03 Okay, I have a question for both of you.

Trevor Noah 1:16:04 Okay. What's-

Speaker 1:16:05 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:16:05 Yeah, you had the Josh question.

Speaker 1:16:06 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:16:06 What's the Josh one?

Speaker 1:16:07 Do you want kids?

Speaker 1:16:09 Um, it's-

Speaker 1:16:10 No, honestly

Speaker 1:16:11 ... yeah, yeah, it's, it's tough, because I don't think so, and it used to just be my shortcomings as a person that I felt like I needed to figure out. And then it became a little bit of, like, how the state of the world and everything, which I know is, like, here and there. Like, that's never-

Trevor Noah 1:16:29 Yeah

Speaker 1:16:29 ... it's never gonna be a right time in the world to have a kid or anything. Um, but yeah, I guess I still don't know, which is, like, you know, a, a, like a privilege and a luxury. I definitely feel like I need to figure it out in the next few years, because I don't want to be an old dad. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't wanna be one of those dads that becomes a dad at, like, 55, and then goes to pick up their kid, and other kids are like, "What's wrong with your dad?"

Speaker 1:16:57 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:16:57 [laughs] Yeah.

Speaker 1:16:58 But-

Speaker 1:16:58 But you know what? All the dads now are old dads, by the way, Josh.

Speaker 1:17:01 Yeah.

Speaker 1:17:01 So it wouldn't, it wouldn't-

Speaker 1:17:01 Yeah.

Speaker 1:17:02 It, it's, it's great

Speaker 1:17:02 ... so I guess it wouldn't be logical.

Trevor Noah 1:17:03 And, and I will say you might say old dad, I would say wise dad.

Speaker 1:17:06 Wise dad, yes.

Trevor Noah 1:17:07 'Cause I find, like, older parents-

Speaker 1:17:09 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 1:17:09 ... just carry themselves a little different.

Speaker 1:17:11 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:11 They may not be able to run and jump as high.

Speaker 1:17:13 Yeah, that's what I'm-

Speaker 1:17:14 Yeah

Speaker 1:17:14 ... worried about, is I can't play ball like a wise dad.

Speaker 1:17:17 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:17:17 Yeah. But you know what? A wise dad is more patient with their kid who can't hit the ball.

Speaker 1:17:21 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:21 That's what I find.

Speaker 1:17:22 Yeah, that's fair.

Trevor Noah 1:17:23 You know?

Speaker 1:17:23 'Cause he also can't hit the ball.

Speaker 1:17:24 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:17:24 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1:17:25 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:25 Whereas a young dad is still out there-

Speaker 1:17:26 Impatient

Trevor Noah 1:17:26 ... being like, "Well, come on, hit the... Come on."

Speaker 1:17:28 Yeah.

Speaker 1:17:28 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:28 There's still a little too much testosterone. So I don't think-

Speaker 1:17:30 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:17:31 ... I don't think you've missed... And also, just to the point you said previously, the, the world has never really been in a better place. I'll also say that.

Speaker 1:17:37 No, that's fair.

Speaker 1:17:38 Yeah.

Speaker 1:17:38 And that, that's why-

Trevor Noah 1:17:39 We think of it through the lens of, like, microplastics.

Speaker 1:17:41 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:17:41 Guys, there was a time when one flu killed your whole family.

Speaker 1:17:46 Yeah.

Speaker 1:17:46 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:17:46 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:47 Now, imagine having a child during that time.

Speaker 1:17:48 Mm, yeah.

Speaker 1:17:49 Yeah. I think the reasons keep shifting, but I think when you're so unsure about something, it is, um, it's a, it's a real, like, sink or swim thing. Like, if, if I'm making a decision that's career-wise-

Speaker 1:18:04 Mm

Speaker 1:18:04 ... and I'm very unsure, I'm like, "What am I really scared of? Maybe just do it and see what happens." But, like, a, another person-

Trevor Noah 1:18:11 Yeah, no

Speaker 1:18:11 ... is not a see what happens.

Speaker 1:18:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:18:12 You know? And I, and if anything, I've been, like, even more stressed out by my friends who kinda had that attitude-

Trevor Noah 1:18:19 Mm-hmm

Speaker 1:18:19 ... where I was like, I was like, "So when did you know-

Speaker 1:18:22 [laughs]

Speaker 1:18:22 ... or when did you feel?" And they were like, "Ah."

Trevor Noah 1:18:24 [laughs]

Speaker 1:18:25 [laughs]

Speaker 1:18:25 And I'm like, "Oh, oh, what? [laughs] What do you..." And then, and don't get me wrong, those people, I think, are actually perfectly good parents, because I think that they didn't go into it with that. They're probably the ones most likely to go ahead and be like, "Oh, you'll watch my kid for the afternoon?"

Trevor Noah 1:18:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:18:42 Yeah.

Speaker 1:18:42 "At the park? Oh, that's great."

Trevor Noah 1:18:44 Yeah.

Speaker 1:18:44 And then you'll, you'll find sometimes that the people who are, like, so well thought out and so overly helicopter make some of the most stressed out kids anyway.

Speaker 1:18:53 Yeah.

Speaker 1:18:53 'Cause they're so scared of making a mistake-

Trevor Noah 1:18:55 Mm-hmm

Speaker 1:18:55 ... that now the kid is also ... 'Cause I, I don't know anything about having kids, but I imagine those first few years, it's gotta be a little bit like how when you have a, when you have, like, a, a dog and you're clearly nervous, you're making the dog nervous.

Trevor Noah 1:19:10 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:19:10 Because this kid doesn't know what anything is.

Trevor Noah 1:19:13 No.

Speaker 1:19:13 Yeah.

Speaker 1:19:13 So they just see you going-

Trevor Noah 1:19:15 Yeah

Speaker 1:19:15 ... and they're, they're like-

Speaker 1:19:16 Yep, you're right

Speaker 1:19:16 ... "Okay, is that, is that life, then?"

Speaker 1:19:18 Yeah, yeah. It's great.

Speaker 1:19:18 "Should life be like that?"

Speaker 1:19:19 Yeah.

Speaker 1:19:19 You know? So ...

Speaker 1:19:20 Trevor, do you want kids?

Trevor Noah 1:19:22 Oh, my, do I want kids? [smacks lips] Uh, okay. How, how would I put it? Um, I don't want kids, but I don't not want kids.

Speaker 1:19:33 Okay.

Trevor Noah 1:19:33 Right? I would hope that kids would be the byproduct of something that I'm experiencing.

Speaker 1:19:38 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:19:38 But to have kids-

Speaker 1:19:39 Yeah, sex.

Trevor Noah 1:19:40 [laughs]

Speaker 1:19:41 [laughs]

Speaker 1:19:43 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:19:45 Oh, man. Oh, but, but to have, to ... So, so here's ... Okay, here's why I'll say this. I have the luxury in that I don't have a body clock like a woman does, so I start with that. The second thing is-

Speaker 1:19:57 We'll put a pin in that. That's for another episode, 'cause-

Trevor Noah 1:19:59 Yeah, but I don't, I don't-

Speaker 1:20:00 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:20:00 ... have a body clock in that way.

Speaker 1:20:02 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:20:02 Right? Um, the other thing for me is that- When I think of having a kid and I go like, "Why do you want a kid?" It may be a little too esoteric, but I go, "Well, I, I don't want my kid to necessarily have the burden of me wanting them for that reason, to fulfill something in me or to not..." You know?

Speaker 1:20:19 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:20:19 Like, it's-

Speaker 1:20:19 It's great

Trevor Noah 1:20:19 ... I think it's important to not put that on the kid.

Speaker 1:20:22 You have ego death already when it comes to-

Trevor Noah 1:20:24 Yeah, like I-

Speaker 1:20:24 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:20:24 ... I, I don't like it when people do that with kids. You know, they go like, "Oh, I just want..." Some, some people be like they want something to be theirs.

Speaker 1:20:30 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:20:30 They want something to love them, and they, and then it, the kid doesn't do that, and they, and then you get like parents who guilt their kids. "Why don't you, why don't you send your mom the..." Or, "Why, I, I can't believe, you know, I wanted a son who, who I'd be proud of," and you're like, "What are you doing?"

Speaker 1:20:42 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:20:42 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:20:43 What are you doing?

Speaker 1:20:44 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:20:44 I think genuinely, and I know it's not perfect, but I think a kid should be something where you, you go like, "I have so much love to give that, man, I just need another human being to pour this into."

Speaker 1:20:54 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:20:54 "I just have too much love."

Speaker 1:20:55 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:20:55 "I just gotta pour this love and pour this love and pour this love and pour this love out." So I'm neither for nor against kids. The only thing I know is I have never met a person-

Speaker 1:21:03 Mm

Trevor Noah 1:21:04 ... who regrets having children.

Speaker 1:21:06 Oh, you haven't?

Trevor Noah 1:21:06 Never.

Speaker 1:21:07 Oh.

Trevor Noah 1:21:07 Genuinely, I've never m-

Speaker 1:21:08 I have

Trevor Noah 1:21:08 ... but I've met many people who regret when they had a kid.

Speaker 1:21:11 Oh, interesting.

Trevor Noah 1:21:12 And I've met many people who regret who they had the kid with.

Speaker 1:21:15 Mm.

Speaker 1:21:16 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:21:16 But I've never met somebody who regrets the kid themselves. Now, I'm sure there are outliers.

Speaker 1:21:21 Oh.

Trevor Noah 1:21:21 I'm sure.

Speaker 1:21:22 I get what you mean.

Trevor Noah 1:21:22 I've met people who got with somebody abusive, alcoholic, you, you name it, in every shape and every way, but they will go, "Ah, but this child." I've met people who had a child and it's, they're struggling financially and their life has really been hard, and their family disowned them because of who, who they had the kid with, and maybe the person left, whatever it is.

Speaker 1:21:42 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:21:43 They will still go, "But this child."

Speaker 1:21:44 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:21:45 "Oh, man, this child." The person they had it with they might regret.

Speaker 1:21:49 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:21:49 The circumstances they might regret. Too young, too busy, too this, too this, too that. So i- in that world, in that way, I just think to myself, "I would love to be able to give somebody the greatest gift, which is not just being chosen, but which is being intentional."

Speaker 1:22:04 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:22:04 That's, that's all I'd want.

Speaker 1:22:05 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:22:06 You know? I want the kid, if, if they ask me like, "Hey, why am I here?" I go, "No, because I just, I had excess love to give, and so that's, that's why you're here."

Speaker 1:22:15 Amazing.

Trevor Noah 1:22:15 You know what I mean? I just wanted somebody to love.

Speaker 1:22:17 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:22:17 I think you two would both make great fathers, and I think-

Trevor Noah 1:22:21 This is how she tricks people.

Speaker 1:22:22 No.

Trevor Noah 1:22:22 Just slow down.

Speaker 1:22:23 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, I, I think you'd make-

Trevor Noah 1:22:24 [laughs]

Speaker 1:22:24 ... make great fathers. And maybe what the, one of the sad things about the world is that I, I have friends that are like childfree by choice.

Trevor Noah 1:22:32 Yeah.

Speaker 1:22:33 And they'd make the most brilliant mothers or, and fathers.

Trevor Noah 1:22:37 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:22:37 And it's often the people that are making the real calculus, who've done-

Trevor Noah 1:22:40 Yeah

Speaker 1:22:40 ... that deep spiritual work, who've like experienced ego death, who make the decision not to be parents, who would make brilliant parents.

Trevor Noah 1:22:47 I agree with you.

Speaker 1:22:47 And would make... Um, but at the end of the day, I think, I don't see, I came to a point where I don't see my children as possessions. Maybe this is very Christian mentality. I'm like, you know, they're a gift from God. God has given me them to kind of guide in this world and uncover who they're supposed to be, but they're not just mine. So I don't think you have to be, have children yourself biologically-

Trevor Noah 1:23:09 Mm

Speaker 1:23:09 ... to parent.

Trevor Noah 1:23:10 To have children.

Speaker 1:23:10 And I feel like if we had a more expansive view of parenting, that the children around us are our collective responsibility.

Trevor Noah 1:23:18 Africa.

Speaker 1:23:18 Yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:23:19 This is literally-

Speaker 1:23:20 [laughs] No, but I-

Trevor Noah 1:23:21 ... Africa

Speaker 1:23:21 ... it's, then it's like, it's like, do you want biological children that live in your house-

Trevor Noah 1:23:25 Yeah, that's all it is

Speaker 1:23:26 ... is the deeper question.

Speaker 1:23:26 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:23:26 But then it's just like you can have children via other means, and it's-

Trevor Noah 1:23:29 Yes

Speaker 1:23:29 ... then 'cause I don't, my kids aren't my possessions. I'm just their custodians. I'm here to like-

Trevor Noah 1:23:33 Yeah

Speaker 1:23:34 ... guide them.

Trevor Noah 1:23:34 My dream is, and I will also caveat this-

Speaker 1:23:38 Mm

Trevor Noah 1:23:38 ... because I, I don't wanna fall into a Josh Johnson here.

Speaker 1:23:41 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:23:41 But like Michael Jackson messed it up. I'll start with that. 'Cause my dream was always as, as, as it was always like I always wanted to create spaces in my house that would be great for kids that weren't mine.

Speaker 1:23:52 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:23:53 Because I thought it would be fun when my friends' kids come over-

Speaker 1:23:55 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:23:56 ... that they go like, "Oh, Uncle Trevor's house, and he's got those video games, and he's got-

Speaker 1:23:59 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:23:59 ... an arcade machine."

Speaker 1:24:01 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:24:01 And I go like, "Yeah, this is great for them."

Speaker 1:24:02 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:24:03 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:24:03 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:24:03 I, I like the fact-

Speaker 1:24:04 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:24:04 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:24:04 ... and people go like, "But you don't have kids." I'm like, "Yes, but there will be children in my life," and I think it is cool that I can facilitate this for them in some way, shape, or form.

Speaker 1:24:12 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:24:12 But now if you are a grown man with no kids-

Speaker 1:24:15 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:24:15 ... who has a kid's basement full of things-

Speaker 1:24:18 Yeah.

Speaker 1:24:18 [laughs]

Speaker 1:24:19 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:24:19 ... so yeah.

Speaker 1:24:19 You know, there are problems.

Trevor Noah 1:24:21 But, uh-

Speaker 1:24:21 Yeah, yeah. But I, I will say, though, one thing, last thing that I think could be helpful, and this is maybe gonna make you take back what you said about me being a good dad.

Trevor Noah 1:24:31 [laughs]

Speaker 1:24:31 Maybe-

Speaker 1:24:32 [laughs] Never

Speaker 1:24:33 ... may- maybe it's-

Speaker 1:24:34 Not possible

Speaker 1:24:34 ... but this is, this is, I, you know, in, in a co-parenting situation, especially a situation where kind of like you said, Trevor, people are like, "Mm, it shouldn't have been this person," or something like that. I think that one, one like sort of olive branch, one thing that you could do is be like, "All right, look, let's be honest with each other as like Mom and Dad. Let's be honest with each other. You don't really wanna be here, right? But you could help me out. Every time you are here, it's gonna be like a big celebration. It's gonna be like, wow, Dad's here, blah, blah, blah."

Speaker 1:25:02 Mm.

Speaker 1:25:02 Right? "But because I'm with the kids almost all the time, you have to tell the kids, 'Hey, if you act up, if you disrespect your mom in any way, I s- I can't come in the house.' Mm. There's just something. I, I don't know.

Trevor Noah 1:25:15 Oh, that's interesting psychological warfare.

Speaker 1:25:16 I don't know. It's like, it's like I wi- I wish I could be there, but you, you were mean to your mom.

Trevor Noah 1:25:20 Damn, Josh.

Speaker 1:25:20 And so dang, I can't.

Trevor Noah 1:25:22 Don't, don't do that.

Speaker 1:25:22 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:25:23 Yeah.

Speaker 1:25:23 And then, and, and now-

Speaker 1:25:24 I don't-

Speaker 1:25:24 Now-

Trevor Noah 1:25:24 Don't do that, Josh. [laughs]

Speaker 1:25:25 But you know what?

Speaker 1:25:26 You make a good dad.

Trevor Noah 1:25:26 It's psychological warfare.

Speaker 1:25:27 Now, I wouldn't do this-

Trevor Noah 1:25:28 [laughs]

Speaker 1:25:28 ... 'cause I would wanna be there.

Trevor Noah 1:25:29 [laughs]

Speaker 1:25:29 But I'm saying if you already know this person's a deadbeat, they're not gonna be there anyway.

Trevor Noah 1:25:33 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1:25:33 At least game the system a little bit.

Speaker 1:25:35 [laughs] Exactly.

Speaker 1:25:35 Be like, be like, "Ah, I have to move now. You were so mean to your mom."

Trevor Noah 1:25:39 Don't do that. Oh my God. [laughs]

Speaker 1:25:40 Oh, man.

Trevor Noah 1:25:40 Can you imagine? Can you imagine the stress a kid is having?

Speaker 1:25:42 Damage. The therapy.

Speaker 1:25:43 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:25:44 My dad didn't come because of me. I didn't do it. Yo, but this was fun.

Speaker 1:25:48 Okay.

Trevor Noah 1:25:48 Christiana, congratulations.

Speaker 1:25:49 Thank you.

Speaker 1:25:50 Congratulations.

Trevor Noah 1:25:51 On a third healthy child.

Speaker 1:25:52 Oh, no, very healthy.

Trevor Noah 1:25:52 This is, can I tell you, that's the only thing I like, I, you know.

Speaker 1:25:56 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:25:56 I, I don't take for granted the health of a mother, the health of a Black mother, by the way.

Speaker 1:26:00 Yeah, in this country especially.

Trevor Noah 1:26:00 It's no joke.

Speaker 1:26:01 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:26:02 Yo. So I'm happy that your baby's healthy.

Speaker 1:26:04 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:26:04 I'm happy that you are healthy. We're here, huh?

Speaker 1:26:07 Making more people-

Speaker 1:26:08 And we're s-

Speaker 1:26:09 ... like Christiana

Speaker 1:26:09 ... and we s-

Trevor Noah 1:26:10 This is-

Speaker 1:26:10 ... still making the podcast.

Trevor Noah 1:26:11 Yeah.

Speaker 1:26:11 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:26:11 The, my, my favorite thing I learned when I was in Bhutan from a monk was he taught me, he said, uh, he said, "One of the hardest things to learn in life is that there will always be storms, but you will never live a full life unless you realize when you are bes- between storms."

Speaker 1:26:29 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:30 So he says like the greatest joy in life is just learning to know when you are between storms. 'Cause when you're in a storm, you're in a storm.

Speaker 1:26:37 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:37 But when you're not in a storm and you don't realize you're not in a storm, then you're not enjoying the fact that you're not in a storm.

Speaker 1:26:43 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:43 And so I'm excited because now with Christiana, we're no longer in a storm.

Speaker 1:26:47 [laughs]

Speaker 1:26:49 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:26:49 She's not pregnant for a while, and so we get to enjoy that for a minute.

Speaker 1:26:53 Not for a while. She's not gonna be pregnant again.

Speaker 1:26:55 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:55 You know what?

Speaker 1:26:56 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:56 I will take it as it comes.

Speaker 1:26:58 Mm.

Speaker 1:26:58 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:26:58 And if you get pregnant again, we will celebrate it.

Speaker 1:27:00 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:27:01 But for now, we will enjoy this. This was fun, y'all.

Speaker 1:27:04 Yeah. [outro music]