Eclipse Week with Christiana & Josh Johnson - What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

1. 0:00 – 0:02

   Intro

   1. TNTrevor Noah0:00

      [funky music]

2. 0:02 – 0:57

   Awkwardness as self-inflicted social paralysis

   1. TNTrevor Noah0:02

      You are the most awkward person I know in certain situations.

   2. SPSpeaker0:05

      [laughs] Sure, sure. I felt it.

   3. TNTrevor Noah0:08

      [laughs]

   4. SPSpeaker0:08

      I feel it every time. This, this is the thing about being awkward that people don't give enough credit for. I know what's happening. I also wanna leave. [laughs]

   5. TNTrevor Noah0:18

      [laughs]

   6. SPSpeaker0:18

      But I don't know what to do next, 'cause it's my fault.

   7. TNTrevor Noah0:22

      You see, but now, now I feel bad for you.

   8. SPSpeaker0:24

      I... But here's the thing. I don't feel bad. I just know it's happening. I wish I could stop it. Okay, I'll, I'll give you an example. If someone tied you to a chair, you know that to get out of the chair you'd have to break the ropes.

   9. TNTrevor Noah0:35

      Yes.

   10. SPSpeaker0:35

       But you don't know how to break the ropes-

   11. TNTrevor Noah0:37

       Right

   12. SPSpeaker0:37

       ... and you don't have the strength-

   13. TNTrevor Noah0:38

       Right

   14. SPSpeaker0:38

       ... to break the ropes. That is me in every conversation.

   15. TNTrevor Noah0:41

       Except you're the person who tied yourself to the chair.

   16. SPSpeaker0:43

       [laughs] Yes, yes, yes.

   17. TNTrevor Noah0:44

       You're the person tying yourself to the chair-

   18. SPSpeaker0:45

       [laughs]

   19. TNTrevor Noah0:45

       ... and then you sit there looking at the other person like, "Oh, man, this is weird."

   20. SPSpeaker0:48

       Yeah. I look at the other person like, "I shouldn't have done this."

   21. TNTrevor Noah0:51

       [laughs] [upbeat music]

3. 0:57 – 2:29

   Welcome to the show + playful “touch my blood” greeting

   1. TNTrevor Noah0:57

      Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to another episode of What Now?, the podcast where we talk about all the conversations that are invading your brain. Yeah, that's how I see them. They're invading your brain. This week we're chatting about rocks. The rocks flying in space, the rocks under your feet, and The Rock, who is no longer involved in politics. Now, the only thing I enjoy more than having conversations is having them with some of my favorite people. And this week, I'm joined, as usual, by my good friend Christiana, all the way from Los Angeles. Yes, she is a mom, she is a thinker, and she is a person with a voice once again. And what a treat. I'm joined by the one and only Josh Johnson, comedian and human being in the same space. Touch my blood. That's what we say in Africa, "Touch my blood." Yeah. You like that?

   2. SPSpeaker1:51

      That's, that's way harder than, "Shake my hand."

   3. TNTrevor Noah1:53

      Yeah, touch my blood.

   4. SPSpeaker1:53

      I love that though.

   5. TNTrevor Noah1:54

      That's what that is. Yeah. We started doing that when AIDS was spreading, like really-

   6. SPSpeaker1:59

      [laughs]

   7. TNTrevor Noah1:59

      ... it was, like, a big thing.

   8. SPSpeaker2:00

      Oh, okay.

   9. TNTrevor Noah2:01

      Yeah.

   10. SPSpeaker2:02

       Oh.

   11. TNTrevor Noah2:02

       Too late, you touched it. [relaxing music]

   12. SPSpeaker2:04

       [laughs] Yeah. Yeah.

   13. TNTrevor Noah2:06

       Welcome to the podcast. [upbeat music] This is What Now? with Trevor Noah. [funky music] Happy podcast day, everybody.

   14. SPSpeaker2:25

       Happy podcast day, man.

   15. SPSpeaker2:27

       Happy podcast day.

4. 2:29 – 4:33

   Christiana’s voice returns and the ‘God is good’ truth-filter

   1. TNTrevor Noah2:29

      I've missed you, Christiana. It's, it feels like it has been forever since I've seen you.

   2. SPSpeaker2:33

      I missed you, Josh, and I missed you, Trevor. Um, I, I'm glad I have a voice again.

   3. TNTrevor Noah2:39

      Yeah.

   4. SPSpeaker2:40

      Feels good to be able to speak.

   5. TNTrevor Noah2:41

      Someone asked me if it was a, if it was a gimmick or a gag. I, I don't know what people think. Someone asked me this, um, they, they were... I was in an, I was in an airport, and someone came up to me and they were like, "I love the podcast so much." And they're like, "I have a girl crush on Christiana. Please tell her." And they're like, "But I, I just didn't under- it was the vo- is the voice thing real? What was that about?" Then I was like-

   6. SPSpeaker3:02

      Oh, my gosh

   7. TNTrevor Noah3:02

      ... what do you mean, is it real?

   8. SPSpeaker3:03

      [laughs]

   9. TNTrevor Noah3:04

      What? Please explain. Sometimes I don't, I don't think people understand comedy.

   10. SPSpeaker3:08

       Yeah.

   11. TNTrevor Noah3:08

       'Cause please ex- explain to me what you think the premise of this joke would be that we would say Christiana doesn't have a voice, and then there's no payoff.

   12. SPSpeaker3:17

       Yeah, yeah. Then she's just back one day.

   13. TNTrevor Noah3:20

       And then she's just back.

   14. SPSpeaker3:21

       Yeah.

   15. TNTrevor Noah3:22

       Christiana, how's the family? How's everything going?

   16. SPSpeaker3:25

       Um, you know, I'm having a bit of a... They're good. But, you know, the headline is the family's good. I should always lead with that.

   17. TNTrevor Noah3:30

       You're so African when you do that.

   18. SPSpeaker3:32

       [laughs]

   19. TNTrevor Noah3:32

       That... No, can I tell you, that's the most African thing that, that, that you'll do, which reminds me of everybody from home. You'll ask them a question about life or anything, they start telling you the truth and they catch themselves.

   20. SPSpeaker3:44

       Mm-hmm.

   21. TNTrevor Noah3:44

       And then they'll be like-

   22. SPSpeaker3:45

       [laughs]

   23. TNTrevor Noah3:45

       You know, so they'll be like, "How's everything?" Be like, "Ah, man, you know things... You know what? You know what? I'm blessed. Let me start by saying I'm blessed." [laughs]

   24. SPSpeaker3:52

       This is... Yes, yes.

   25. TNTrevor Noah3:53

       This is literally what you, what you... It's the most African thing.

   26. SPSpeaker3:56

       I know.

   27. SPSpeaker3:56

       It's also like-

   28. SPSpeaker3:57

       I know, I know

   29. SPSpeaker3:58

       ... it's such a deep Southern thing too, because just w- like, when you're in the South, like I was just in Raleigh.

   30. TNTrevor Noah4:03

       Yeah.
5. 4:33 – 6:50

   Baby milestones, parenting anxiety, and “she’s not behind—she’s lazy”

   1. SPSpeaker4:33

      My real story is this. Okay, so, so I have a, um, almost 10-month-old named Luna. Wonderful little girl. Um, but she's like, she's doing things differently to Obi did. Like, Obi had teeth at three months. Luna has no teeth. She refuses to crawl. She sat up a bit later. And you know me, I'm like, "I want her to be a doctor or a lawyer," so she should be walking in my books. So we keep bringing it up with the pediatrician. The pediatrician, she's just, "Fine, she's fine, but take her somewhere just to check." And I'm, of course we're gonna take her. And today we found out she is fine, she's just lazy. So she needs physical therapy to get over the laziness. The ability is there, but the desire is not.

   2. TNTrevor Noah5:14

      Wait.

   3. SPSpeaker5:14

      Which is a worry, 'cause she's-

   4. TNTrevor Noah5:15

      Wait

   5. SPSpeaker5:16

      ... supposed to be a doctor. [laughs]

   6. TNTrevor Noah5:17

      Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sounds to me like she's not lazy. Sounds like she's a genius.

   7. SPSpeaker5:22

      Yeah, it sounds to me like she's not gonna be a doctor or a lawyer. She's gonna be the president.

   8. TNTrevor Noah5:26

      That's, I mean-

   9. SPSpeaker5:28

      Either the president or she's gonna own, like, create a tech company that has no value, but sell it for, like, $2 billion. Which is, I am fine with that. [laughs] Like, that, that's a good outcome.

   10. TNTrevor Noah5:37

       Yeah. If I was a parent and I, they told me that my child-

   11. SPSpeaker5:40

       Yeah

   12. TNTrevor Noah5:41

       ... has figured out-

   13. SPSpeaker5:42

       Yeah

   14. TNTrevor Noah5:43

       ... that they don't need to crawl.

   15. SPSpeaker5:44

       Mm-hmm.

   16. TNTrevor Noah5:45

       I mean, they walked so that I don't have to crawl is essentially the world she's in.

   17. SPSpeaker5:52

       [laughs]

   18. TNTrevor Noah5:52

       She's a trail, she's a trailblazer.

   19. SPSpeaker5:54

       Trevor, I feel like you've just made up... I feel like you just made it up, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna rock with it.

   20. TNTrevor Noah5:59

       Do not deny the genius of your child.

   21. SPSpeaker6:02

       Yeah.

   22. TNTrevor Noah6:03

       And you'll see in, like-

   23. SPSpeaker6:04

       Yeah

   24. TNTrevor Noah6:04

       ... eight months, Luna's gonna be on the podcast. She's gonna be like Beyonce's children.

   25. SPSpeaker6:07

       Yeah, yeah.

   26. TNTrevor Noah6:08

       She'll just be, like, featuring on the podcast-

   27. SPSpeaker6:10

       [laughs]

   28. TNTrevor Noah6:10

       ... winning us Grammys.

   29. SPSpeaker6:12

       [laughs]

   30. TNTrevor Noah6:12

       Um, today's, today's episode of the podcast is gonna be fun. Um, there's a bunch of things happening. I will tell you a little bit about where I was, because again, some people think I didn't tell them where I was going. Some people asked me if I was going to get a BBL, that's why I disappeared and wouldn't say where I was going, uh, which was a strange one.
6. 6:50 – 10:05

   Trevor’s Bhutan trip: Gross National Happiness and monk life with Instagram

   1. TNTrevor Noah6:50

      So, so do either of you know where, uh, Bhutan is? I mean, if I was betting money, I would say Christiana knows. Again, Josh, this is not an insult to you.

   2. SPSpeaker7:00

      [laughs]

   3. TNTrevor Noah7:00

      I say this because I wasn't completely familiar with where Bhutan was. Christiana is somebody who's extremely learned, and she went to university. I don't know that you went to university.

   4. SPSpeaker7:08

      [laughs]

   5. TNTrevor Noah7:08

      I didn't go to university.

   6. SPSpeaker7:09

      [gasps]

   7. TNTrevor Noah7:09

      So before you get offended at all-

   8. SPSpeaker7:11

      Yeah

   9. TNTrevor Noah7:11

      ... I'm just... But do you know anything about Bhutan?

   10. SPSpeaker7:13

       Sometimes you say, "Before you get offended at all," but you've already said all the things.

   11. TNTrevor Noah7:17

       [laughs]

   12. SPSpeaker7:17

       Yeah, he's like, "No offense-

   13. TNTrevor Noah7:18

       I apologize

   14. SPSpeaker7:19

       ... but I'm about to offend you."

   15. TNTrevor Noah7:20

       Okay, I... No, I apologize. I apologize.

   16. SPSpeaker7:22

       [laughs]

   17. TNTrevor Noah7:22

       Josh, what do you know about Bhutan?

   18. SPSpeaker7:24

       Uh, I know that it starts with a B.

   19. SPSpeaker7:27

       [laughs]

   20. TNTrevor Noah7:28

       Christiana, what do, what do you know about Bhutan?

   21. SPSpeaker7:31

       I don't know that much about Bhutan. I don't.

   22. TNTrevor Noah7:34

       Do you know where it is? A lot of people don't even know where it is.

   23. SPSpeaker7:37

       Is it near, in, near the Indian Ocean, or am I wrong?

   24. TNTrevor Noah7:40

       No. So it's actually, uh, in the Eastern Himalayas.

   25. SPSpeaker7:45

       Eastern Himalayas. [laughs]

   26. TNTrevor Noah7:45

       [laughs] I need to turn to Google things.

   27. SPSpeaker7:48

       [laughs]

   28. SPSpeaker7:49

       [laughs]

   29. TNTrevor Noah7:49

       Oh, man. Oh, you just took me back to my childhood. I have, I have a, I have a cousin who tries to do that. They try and answer the questions with you-

   30. SPSpeaker7:58

       [laughs]
7. 10:05 – 11:49

   Poker without money: gambling with pushups as currency

   1. TNTrevor Noah10:05

      ... these people... For instance, I, I played a game of poker where they didn't play with money, they played with pushups.

   2. SPSpeaker10:12

      That's hilarious.

   3. TNTrevor Noah10:14

      It was actually... Can I tell you, it was actually the most stressful game of poker I've ever played.

   4. SPSpeaker10:18

      That's so good.

   5. SPSpeaker10:20

      [laughs]

   6. SPSpeaker10:20

      That's t-

   7. TNTrevor Noah10:21

      Like, literally you bet and you go, "I raise you two pushups." And someone's like, "I raise you two pushups," or, "Six pushups," "Eight pushups." And then at the end of each round, people are doing pushups. There's no money exchanged, same game, same enjoyment. But people are doing pushups. And you... First of all, you'll be shocked at how quickly you start curtailing your gambling when you have to do pushups.

   8. SPSpeaker10:44

      Yeah.

   9. TNTrevor Noah10:44

      I was like, this could cure Vegas in, like, a week.

   10. SPSpeaker10:46

       Yeah, yeah.

   11. SPSpeaker10:47

       Yeah. [laughs]

   12. TNTrevor Noah10:47

       If you said everyone in Vegas-

   13. SPSpeaker10:48

       Yeah

   14. TNTrevor Noah10:48

       ... had to do squats or pushups every time they lost.

   15. SPSpeaker10:50

       This is, this is the best because now your gambling addiction looks sexy.

   16. SPSpeaker10:56

       [laughs]

   17. TNTrevor Noah10:56

       Well, now you'll know who has a gambling addiction, right?

   18. SPSpeaker10:58

       Yeah.

   19. SPSpeaker10:58

       [laughs]

   20. SPSpeaker10:58

       Like, you'll see somebody with just the chest and no arms-

   21. TNTrevor Noah11:01

       [laughs]

   22. SPSpeaker11:01

       ... and you'll be like, "Ooh, he's sick."

   23. SPSpeaker11:03

       [laughs]

   24. TNTrevor Noah11:03

       [laughs]

   25. SPSpeaker11:03

       Oh.

   26. SPSpeaker11:03

       "He's sick. Poor... We need to pray for him."

   27. TNTrevor Noah11:05

       [laughs]

   28. SPSpeaker11:05

       "Because he got no legs, but he got that thick chest. That's... Mm, mm."

   29. TNTrevor Noah11:10

       Oh, man, you know what? I, I feel enlightened and-

   30. SPSpeaker11:15

       I, I feel some of that light.
8. 11:49 – 13:53

   Eclipse day reactions: glasses, crowds, and shared awe

   1. TNTrevor Noah11:49

      We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. [upbeat music] When was the last time either of you watched or saw an eclipse?

   2. SPSpeaker12:04

      Um, today.

   3. TNTrevor Noah12:06

      You saw the, you went outside and you-

   4. SPSpeaker12:08

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   5. TNTrevor Noah12:09

      Did you have, did you have the glasses?

   6. SPSpeaker12:10

      Look, I'll tell you this right now. Everybody was trashing Trump for looking at the sun, but I almost did it. I really did.

   7. TNTrevor Noah12:16

      [laughs]

   8. SPSpeaker12:16

      'Cause I had the glasses, and be- when the thing was starting, I couldn't see anything because the glasses were so good.

   9. TNTrevor Noah12:23

      Yeah.

   10. SPSpeaker12:23

       And then I started to see a little bit, and I was like, "I do kinda wanna just take them off real quick, just to get a sneak peak."

   11. TNTrevor Noah12:28

       But did you take them off?

   12. SPSpeaker12:29

       I did not.

   13. TNTrevor Noah12:30

       See-

   14. SPSpeaker12:31

       I didn't

   15. TNTrevor Noah12:31

       ... not, not fit to be president.

   16. SPSpeaker12:32

       [laughs]

   17. TNTrevor Noah12:33

       Christiana, you, when was the last time you saw an eclipse?

   18. SPSpeaker12:35

       I've never seen an eclipse.

   19. TNTrevor Noah12:38

       Huh.

   20. SPSpeaker12:39

       Yeah, I avoid them. It, it feels too spiritual, too much of a shift. I stay indoors.

   21. TNTrevor Noah12:43

       Yeah. It's, it's, it's, um, I, I will say this, it is both the most powerful and meaningless thing I've ever experienced. Because it was like a, it was, it was one of those moments where, you know, seeing everybody outside for the same... I, I don't know. There, there was a, there was a... The last time I saw New York like that was during the pandemic.

   22. SPSpeaker13:05

       Mm-hmm.

   23. TNTrevor Noah13:06

       And so in a, in an emotional way, it was, it was really wonderful to see everybody outside for something that wasn't morose, something that wasn't sad, something that-

   24. SPSpeaker13:16

       Hmm

   25. TNTrevor Noah13:16

       ... it was just people gathered together to look at the sky turn dark for a moment-

   26. SPSpeaker13:21

       Yeah

   27. TNTrevor Noah13:22

       ... and, and enjoy. Like, everyone. I mean, like, construction workers, high school kids. Um, you, literally, I was just, I was riding a bicycle through New York, watching it the whole day, and it was just, everyone was just standing on the side of the road with... I don't know where they all got them all, by the way. That's, that, I will say, is, like, weird.

   28. SPSpeaker13:38

       I don't know.

   29. TNTrevor Noah13:38

       Everyone in New York had eclipse glasses, and I don't know where they got them from.

   30. SPSpeaker13:43

       I don't know where I got mine.
9. 13:53 – 18:07

   Eclipses in history: truces, cover for violence, and Columbus’s manipulation

   1. TNTrevor Noah13:53

      ... I started reading up on everything that the eclipse has meant for humankind. It's amazing. Like, like you say, like, wars. There w- there was a war that, that was spoken about, like, back in the day. I think it was the ancient Greeks, and they, they basically, they had a truce because they, they were just like, "Yeah, man, even the moon and sun don't want us to fight," and then they just stopped fighting.

   2. SPSpeaker14:12

      [laughs]

   3. TNTrevor Noah14:12

      That's beautiful.

   4. SPSpeaker14:13

      Yeah, yeah.

   5. TNTrevor Noah14:14

      That's, that is so beautiful. And then to you earlier, when you were trashing me with my poker pushups, if this happened back then-

   6. SPSpeaker14:24

      Yeah

   7. TNTrevor Noah14:24

      ... I could have killed you during an eclipse, a- and no one would've said anything, Josh.

   8. SPSpeaker14:29

      Why wouldn't they have said anything?

   9. TNTrevor Noah14:31

      Because it would've happened during an eclipse.

   10. SPSpeaker14:32

       [laughs]

   11. TNTrevor Noah14:32

       An eclipse is what, like, so that's the m- the thing I learned. The eclipse was the perfect time-

   12. SPSpeaker14:36

       Mm-hmm

   13. TNTrevor Noah14:36

       ... to end other people, because during that period, you could say you were ending it for the eclipse or because of the eclipse. So, if you, if you killed somebody during an eclipse back in the day-

   14. SPSpeaker14:46

       Uh-huh, uh-huh

   15. TNTrevor Noah14:47

       ... and then people were like, "What did you do?" And you were like, "Yo, the demon Beelzebub took over when the sun was gone."

   16. SPSpeaker14:53

       Oh.

   17. SPSpeaker14:53

       Okay.

   18. TNTrevor Noah14:54

       And then you say to people, "I would never... You know me. Come on, man. You know me."

   19. SPSpeaker14:57

       [laughs]

   20. TNTrevor Noah14:58

       "I w- have I ever killed anyone?"

   21. SPSpeaker14:59

       Yeah. If you kill me over a comment about the poker pushups, you were waiting to kill me. Like, the, the, the eclipse had nothing to do with it.

   22. TNTrevor Noah15:08

       No, no, no, no.

   23. SPSpeaker15:08

       Yeah, yeah.

   24. TNTrevor Noah15:09

       No, Josh, please.

   25. SPSpeaker15:10

       If you haul off-

   26. TNTrevor Noah15:11

       No

   27. SPSpeaker15:11

       ... and choke me now, ooh, you've been waiting.

   28. TNTrevor Noah15:13

       No. No. Maybe. No, no.

   29. SPSpeaker15:18

       [laughs]

   30. SPSpeaker15:20

       [laughs]
10. 18:07 – 20:23

    Nature glitches and apocalypse vibes: ants, earthquakes, and cosmic dread

    1. TNTrevor Noah18:07

       I didn't know this. During an eclipse- Animals don't know what's happening, right? For the most part. Nocturnal creatures have woken up because they think it's nighttime. Birds shut up during... This happened for real in New York, by the way. I was in a park. Birds were chirping, chirping, chirping, and then silence.

    2. SPSpeaker18:27

       Doesn't that creep you guys out? Doesn't this-

    3. TNTrevor Noah18:29

       It is, it is creepy

    4. SPSpeaker18:30

       ... I get so spooked out by n- that's why I stayed in my room. I don't, I don't wanna be around it. I just wanna pretend it's not happening.

    5. TNTrevor Noah18:36

       What are you, what are you spooked out by?

    6. SPSpeaker18:38

       I, you know, I was raised by, you know, Africans who believed that Christ rose from the dead in three days, so I just like-

    7. TNTrevor Noah18:44

       Which he did

    8. SPSpeaker18:44

       ... my sense of reality-

    9. TNTrevor Noah18:45

       Which he did

    10. SPSpeaker18:45

        ... is not like everyone else's

    11. SPSpeaker18:46

        Yeah, I'm going to heaven.

    12. SPSpeaker18:47

        Right, so-

    13. SPSpeaker18:47

        I don't know about y'all, but...

    14. SPSpeaker18:49

        [laughs] But like, I'm like, oh my God, I just, that kind of stuff creeps me out. My husband's gonna be so embarrassed when he listens to this, 'cause he was like, "You need to believe more in science," which I do. I vaccinate my kids. However, eclipses creep me out. Like, you s- being like, "The birds stop chirping"

    15. TNTrevor Noah19:04

        They do. Yeah, they do

    16. SPSpeaker19:04

        ... and animals come out of certain areas, I'm like, nature is far more powerful than I want it to be. I hate nature. That's the issue.

    17. TNTrevor Noah19:11

        You know, when you talk about it being b- um, uh, scary or, or any of these things, in South Africa right now, there's a, there's an ant, I wanna say, epidemic. If you leave anything anywhere, you, you've never seen this many ants in your life, ever. And I, when I went home recently-

    18. SPSpeaker19:30

        Oh, my God

    19. TNTrevor Noah19:30

        ... I experienced this first hand. It's like, like, like Gilligan's Island type ants. Like, they will lift you up and they will move you around. I'm, I'm not even jo- you've never ever, ever seen this many ants in your life, right?

    20. SPSpeaker19:41

        Oh, geez.

    21. TNTrevor Noah19:41

        So everyone in South Africa has been going, "Why are there so many ants? What's happening? Where are the ants coming from? It seems like the devil. Something's going crazy." You know what I mean? And then, like, around the world there's been all these stories of, like, either animals acting strange or tides being different or what. Then you had the earthquake, right, in Taiwan.

    22. SPSpeaker19:57

        Mm.

    23. TNTrevor Noah19:58

        And people were like, "Oh yeah, there's, there's earthquakes." Cut to New York, had like a 4 point something earthquake.

    24. SPSpeaker20:04

        Mm-hmm.

    25. TNTrevor Noah20:05

        And people didn't even know which way to go. Do you run up? Do you run down? Do you run?

    26. SPSpeaker20:10

        Yeah.

    27. TNTrevor Noah20:12

        Like, in LA, because, it, like, if you're in California, they tell you what to do when there's an earthquake because-

    28. SPSpeaker20:16

        Yeah

    29. TNTrevor Noah20:16

        ... they're earthquake ready. In New York, people just...

    30. SPSpeaker20:19

        Yeah, we built buildings high, all cocky.
11. 20:23 – 25:03

    If the world ends in a week: travel plans, swords, drugs, and sidewalk freedom

    1. TNTrevor Noah20:23

       Yeah, but, um, some, some people are saying that the world might be ending.

    2. SPSpeaker20:26

       Mm-hmm.

    3. TNTrevor Noah20:27

       And, uh, I don't know.

    4. SPSpeaker20:29

       I mean, I really hope not, 'cause things just started to go well for me. I need at least four, fi- four, five more years of Earth, and let me see where I take this thing.

    5. TNTrevor Noah20:40

       You one of those, you one of those people?

    6. SPSpeaker20:42

       [laughs]

    7. TNTrevor Noah20:43

       If the, if the world was ending, and you knew for a fact it was ending in a week, would you do anything-

    8. SPSpeaker20:48

       Mm-hmm

    9. TNTrevor Noah20:48

       ... different in your life?

    10. SPSpeaker20:50

        Hmm.

    11. SPSpeaker20:51

        I would probably go to England. That would be it. But only for a couple days, and then I'd come back. England is kind of like Oliver Twisty right now, so I, I wouldn't wanna be there for too long.

    12. TNTrevor Noah21:01

        Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're gonna go there for a few days? The world is ending in a week.

    13. SPSpeaker21:05

        Yeah, I'd go there for a few days, and then keep living my life the way I've been living it.

    14. TNTrevor Noah21:10

        Wow.

    15. SPSpeaker21:11

        'Cause I feel like I'm living the life I'm supposed to. Do you know what I mean? I'm raising my kids.

    16. TNTrevor Noah21:14

        Yeah.

    17. SPSpeaker21:15

        I'm doing work. I'm, like, what, why would I do anything different?

    18. TNTrevor Noah21:17

        Wait, wait, wait. You would still go to work?

    19. SPSpeaker21:19

        I'm not gonna bun-

    20. TNTrevor Noah21:19

        You would still go to work if they told you the world-

    21. SPSpeaker21:21

        Why not?

    22. TNTrevor Noah21:21

        ... is ending in a week?

    23. SPSpeaker21:22

        I like writing. I actually like my job, Trevor. [laughs]

    24. TNTrevor Noah21:25

        No, no, no, no, no.

    25. SPSpeaker21:26

        I like it.

    26. TNTrevor Noah21:26

        That's, that's not, that's not what I'm-

    27. SPSpeaker21:28

        No, I'm, I'm, I'm with you. I, I think if, if, if I thought the world was ending in a week, right, I would go, my girlfriend and I would go see my mom, right? I'd go hang out with my mom. I'd do a show in Atlanta. Then I would take Sally and my mom to Bhutan, and I would play poker for pushups until I, un, un-

    28. TNTrevor Noah21:49

        [laughs]

    29. SPSpeaker21:49

        ... until my arms fell off, really. Like, I'm, I might have a...

    30. TNTrevor Noah21:53

        I, I, I, I don't know if I envy you or if I feel sorry for both of you. The world is ending in a week. There is no one you would cuss out. There is no thing you would do.
12. 25:03 – 38:59

    The Rock and politics: endorsement backlash and celebrity voting guidance

    1. TNTrevor Noah25:03

       Don't go anywhere, 'cause we got more What Now? after this. [upbeat music] So if, if you haven't followed the story and you've somehow managed to avoid it, so Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson made a special appearance at WrestleMania. He's, he came back to compete. W- what, he's, he's 51 now, so it's pretty special.

    2. SPSpeaker25:26

       Mm-hmm.

    3. TNTrevor Noah25:27

       Came back to compete. WrestleMania's really taxing, and the last time he was there he got badly injured. Anyway, he goes back, he does ... It's, it's triumphant. It's an amazing return. But this thing gets overshadowed by the fact that The Rock goes on Fox News and says that he will not be endorsing Joe Biden.

    4. SPSpeaker25:43

       Mm-hmm.

    5. TNTrevor Noah25:43

       Right? Everyone goes crazy. People, obviously Fox fans, are like, "Yeah, that's it. Joe Biden is, is, is a screw-up," and, you know, "Screw him."

    6. SPSpeaker25:52

       Yeah.

    7. TNTrevor Noah25:53

       And then people-

    8. SPSpeaker25:54

       Mm-hmm

    9. TNTrevor Noah25:54

       ... you know, who are pro-Joe Biden are like, "Why would you do that to us, The Rock?" What ... You know, you know what I mean.

    10. SPSpeaker26:00

        Yeah. Yeah.

    11. TNTrevor Noah26:01

        It's ... Okay.

    12. SPSpeaker26:01

        Yeah.

    13. TNTrevor Noah26:01

        Here's what's, here's what's weird to me, a few things. First of all, he says he's not endorsing Joe Biden.

    14. SPSpeaker26:07

        Mm-hmm.

    15. TNTrevor Noah26:07

        And he says he's no longer endorsing anyone. So he's also not endorsing Jo- Donald Trump.

    16. SPSpeaker26:11

        Yeah, yeah.

    17. TNTrevor Noah26:11

        So I don't understand why that's not a head-

    18. SPSpeaker26:13

        Yeah

    19. TNTrevor Noah26:13

        ... headline.

    20. SPSpeaker26:13

        But it, for some people it's an addition by subtraction. So they're, so they're like, "You endorsed Joe Biden last time."

    21. TNTrevor Noah26:20

        And now y- and now you're not endorsing him

    22. SPSpeaker26:22

        "And now you're not, so you're at least coming closer to me," is how people-

    23. TNTrevor Noah26:25

        Okay

    24. SPSpeaker26:25

        ... see it.

    25. TNTrevor Noah26:26

        I see that.

    26. SPSpeaker26:26

        And-

    27. TNTrevor Noah26:26

        I see that.

    28. SPSpeaker26:27

        Yeah. I, it kind of worries, it worries me a lot that people take their voting guidance from a wrestler turned actor turned somebody who-

    29. TNTrevor Noah26:38

        Turned businessman, turned everything. Yo, like, guys-

    30. SPSpeaker26:41

        I, I ... No
13. 38:59 – 41:36

    Embodiment, royal families, and why America wants symbols

    1. TNTrevor Noah38:59

       I hear what you're saying, but I think what we should never take for granted is the power of embodiment. This is a man who has come from nothing, has worked really hard physically and mentally, and he's brought people together, and, you know, he, he exists in different worlds, and he, he is also a biracial human being who's combined, you know, America, but then also this, this Samoan heritage, and it's all these things. Do you know what I mean? So there's all these pieces that, that sort of come together, and I think that embodiment makes people go, "That is what we want our country to represent." Like, one of the weirdest thoughts I've had is I've, I've gone, I sometimes feel like America could do with a royal family as well. Like, America should actually get a royal family, because I sometimes think what happens in America is America's looking for the embodiment of what America is, and they're putting that on the president, but that job is really just supposed to be, like, an administrative role. You're the regional manager, and you manage a region called America.

    2. SPSpeaker39:59

       Yeah, yeah.

    3. SPSpeaker39:59

       I think the royal family and this idea of a embodiment is a good one, because I think, uh, as much as embodiment, I think there is a certain type of American and a certain type of Brit who needs a public figure that makes them feel like the country is harmonious.

    4. TNTrevor Noah40:15

       Yes.

    5. SPSpeaker40:16

       And the royal family's a great example, because when I really, really think about the royal h- family and the fact that I speak with this accent, it's a result of trauma and pain. You came to West Africa, and you plundered it. You created Nigeria. You raped it, and you put your face on our money, and then the country's in such a bad state my grandparents and people like my grandparents and parents had to move to a different country, right? And my, when my parents b- were born, they were born under colonial rule. This was pr- they were born before Nigeria had become independent.

    6. TNTrevor Noah40:51

       Yeah.

    7. SPSpeaker40:51

       So for some British people who can sing "Rule, Britannia" and who can sing "God Save the Queen" and now "God Save the King," when they see the royal family, they do see that embodiment. They see that fantasy of harmony. But underneath it, underneath these symbols, wherever they are, whether it's The Rock or the royal family or a president, there's always something darker there. Even The Rock, he may not show us his darkness, but there is an inherent conflict in him. But people want this sa- fantasy of embodiment and harmony. And I think The Rock is actually the perfect example, because him saying, "Do you know what? I'm gonna shut up," that does embody a, what a, a lot of America is doing right now, where they're like, "I'm just gonna keep what I really think to myself rather than be able to live in the discomfort and have the messy conversations."

14. 41:36 – 47:38

    Cancel culture, anonymity, and a ‘radical honesty in punching distance’ purge

    1. TNTrevor Noah41:36

       Okay, so let me ask you both that question then. Do you think that, do you think that the idea of cancel culture/wokeness, like, I mean, like, w- let's just use these terms loosely and throw them around, all right? We, we, 'cause we can debate forever about-

    2. SPSpeaker41:55

       Mm-hmm

    3. TNTrevor Noah41:55

       ... I mean, I have my thoughts, you have your thoughts, et cetera. But do you think there could be some merit to maybe having, like, a, I, I know this sounds weird, but maybe, like, an amnesty where we say, like, everyone can say what they want. Like, let's, like a purge.

    4. SPSpeaker42:09

       Mm-hmm.

    5. TNTrevor Noah42:10

       Everyone can say what they want-

    6. SPSpeaker42:11

       Mm-hmm

    7. TNTrevor Noah42:11

       ... for one day, maybe let's say, like, every two months or every three months.

    8. SPSpeaker42:16

       Mm-hmm.

    9. TNTrevor Noah42:16

       We hold nothing against you, but you can come out and say it, and because then maybe there's, like, a release valve. 'Cause it seems like people might vote- A lot louder than they speak, and that could be causing a bit of a problem because it surprises you when it happens

    10. SPSpeaker42:33

        Okay, I'll pitch you that that thing already exists and exists all the time, and it, and it goes by anonymity on the internet. I think that-

    11. TNTrevor Noah42:42

        Hmm

    12. SPSpeaker42:42

        ... people are consistently voicing everything that they think-

    13. TNTrevor Noah42:45

        You think so?

    14. SPSpeaker42:46

        ... behind an avatar. Like, I, I don't think that... There's, there's a story that we tell ourselves so we don't have to feel as bad later, that the internet got us all riled up and made us do whatever to this person as far as cancellation. What, what-

    15. TNTrevor Noah42:59

        Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

    16. SPSpeaker43:00

        ... whatever it is.

    17. TNTrevor Noah43:00

        I hear you.

    18. SPSpeaker43:00

        I think that-

    19. SPSpeaker43:01

        Yeah

    20. SPSpeaker43:01

        ... by and large, everyone already felt that way, and then they just let it out.

    21. TNTrevor Noah43:07

        So I, I agree and I disagree. I think the internet creates an environment where people are prone to let out a part of what they think, but it is not them and it is not how they fully think.

    22. SPSpeaker43:18

        Mm-hmm.

    23. TNTrevor Noah43:18

        I think there are a lot of people on the internet who say things just because it's what's happening and people are going crazy.

    24. SPSpeaker43:26

        Mm-hmm.

    25. TNTrevor Noah43:26

        There is a part of you that is caught up in the moment that isn't a representation of all of you, whether it's a collective fear, whether it's a collective anger, whether it's a collective joy.

    26. SPSpeaker43:38

        Yeah.

    27. TNTrevor Noah43:38

        Sometimes 100,000 people are storming, and they, they, they're terrified, and you, you're there, and you're like, "I'm also terrified," but you weren't really as afraid as, as maybe you, you would've been on your own. Does that make sense?

    28. SPSpeaker43:49

        Yes.

    29. TNTrevor Noah43:49

        And I think what the internet has done is it's created an environment where people express a part of themselves that is welcomed by the group and the mob, and then what happens is because of the internet and because of the platform and the way it looks, we are only exposed to that in a collective.

    30. SPSpeaker44:09

        Yeah.

Episode duration: 47:40