John Oliver: Why Everything is a Scam: FIFA, Mergers, & Information Literacy

John Oliver 0:00 [upbeat music] Best thing about John Wick was the hotel.

Host 0:06 Yeah, that was pretty badass.

John Oliver 0:08 His-

Host 0:08 The hotel was such a great concept

John Oliver 0:09 ... like, I love, the martial arts is great.

Host 0:10 Yeah.

John Oliver 0:10 I think part of that is people's just longing for a hotel w- that well-run.

Host 0:15 [laughs]

John Oliver 0:15 It's so... I like the fighting, but I love the service.

Host 0:20 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 0:20 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 0:20 You can turn up nearly dead, "Sir, we'll take care of it."

Trevor Noah 0:22 With a dog.

John Oliver 0:23 And we take pets.

Trevor Noah 0:23 With a dog. Yeah.

John Oliver 0:25 It, for me, it's a hotel movie with some fighting in it.

Trevor Noah 0:27 Wait, didn't they say they don't take... Wasn't there something they don't do that they did for him?

Host 0:32 Maybe the dog.

Trevor Noah 0:33 I feel like there was something that they don't-

John Oliver 0:34 They don't, it is no, it's a no pets building?

Trevor Noah 0:37 No pets.

Host 0:37 No, no, no.

Trevor Noah 0:37 There's something.

Host 0:37 But they did it for him.

Trevor Noah 0:39 Yes, but I swear they don't accept pets.

John Oliver 0:40 But it was a n- it was a no pets enterprise.

Trevor Noah 0:43 I, I, I hope I'm not wrong about this.

John Oliver 0:45 It has s- international assassins-

Host 0:46 Can always find out

John Oliver 0:47 ... like, "No pets."

Trevor Noah 0:48 I swear there was something-

John Oliver 0:49 "Don't try and bring a cat in here."

Trevor Noah 0:50 Where they said, "Mr. Wick"-

Host 0:51 But where the-

Trevor Noah 0:51 They said, "Mr. Wick, we don't allow da, da, da."

Host 0:54 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 0:54 And then they s- then they, like, made an exception for him.

Host 0:56 No, that was he wanted to kill somebody on premises.

Trevor Noah 1:00 Oh, maybe it's that.

Host 1:02 Yeah, it was-

Trevor Noah 1:02 That's more likely than pets.

John Oliver 1:03 That's more likely than pets.

Host 1:04 Yeah, that-

Trevor Noah 1:04 It's more likely, it's more likely-

John Oliver 1:04 That's more likely than pets

Trevor Noah 1:05 ... you're not allowed to kill someone. You're right.

Host 1:06 'Cause I remember him coming with his dog, and they were like, they greeted the dog as if it was a customer.

Trevor Noah 1:10 Ah.

John Oliver 1:11 Because it is.

Host 1:11 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:12 They were like, "Oh, John and"-

Host 1:14 Fluffy

Trevor Noah 1:14 ... Fluffy.

Trevor Noah 1:15 I mean-

Host 1:15 I love, I love the fact that you watched John Wick-

John Oliver 1:17 Fluff McGraw

Host 1:17 ... and your biggest takeaway was, "What a hotel."

John Oliver 1:20 I'd, I love the fact that you thought it was plausible they didn't take pets-

Host 1:23 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:23 ... and that that was the line.

Trevor Noah 1:24 I still think it might be there.

John Oliver 1:25 You come in with a blood-dripping samurai sword-

Host 1:27 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:27 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:27 ... and a dog cage, and they're like, "Put the cage down." [laughs]

Host 1:32 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:32 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:32 "I'll give you a towel for the sword."

Host 1:33 "I've seen, I, I, I see you've had your shots, but has he?"

John Oliver 1:36 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:37 [laughs]

Host 1:37 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:38 No, it's just one of-

Host 1:38 You know, some, some of the other assassins, they go, "There's the hair of the dog left."

Trevor Noah 1:41 Yeah, they're allergic to dogs.

John Oliver 1:43 Yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:43 I don't know, man. I feel like there was something. You should check it. I think there was something about, about no pets. There was just, like, a, there was just, like, a vibe, but you know?

John Oliver 1:50 It's a great hotel.

Trevor Noah 1:51 It really is.

Host 1:52 But New York is an entire pet-friendly zone. [upbeat music]

Trevor Noah 1:59 This is What Now? With Trevor Noah. [upbeat music] How long have you lived in New

Trevor Noah 2:14 York now?

John Oliver 2:15 I've been here since 2006, so nearly 20 years.

Trevor Noah 2:17 What, what, what first brought you to New York?

John Oliver 2:19 The Daily Show. I, I got offered the job. That was my first, my first day in New York was the, the, The Daily Show.

Trevor Noah 2:26 Dad, dad. Are you serious?

John Oliver 2:26 Yep.

Trevor Noah 2:27 Hmm.

John Oliver 2:27 Yep.

Trevor Noah 2:27 No, wait, tell me your Daily Show origin story.

John Oliver 2:29 So I was, uh, they were looking for a new correspondent.

Trevor Noah 2:31 Okay.

John Oliver 2:32 I'm in London, right, having, you know, doing the Edinburgh Festival every year.

Trevor Noah 2:35 Okay.

John Oliver 2:36 Uh, so they say, "Put yourself on tape." You saw, I-

Trevor Noah 2:40 Who said this to you?

John Oliver 2:40 They were, they were looking for a correspondent from the world-

Trevor Noah 2:43 Mm, mm

John Oliver 2:44 ... right, for the first time.

Trevor Noah 2:45 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 2:45 Not from America-

Trevor Noah 2:46 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 2:46 ... from outside of the borders of this land.

Trevor Noah 2:49 [laughs]

John Oliver 2:49 Uh, and so there were a bunch of people in London who just got-

Host 2:52 The only last time they did that. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 2:54 [laughs]

John Oliver 2:54 As a British person, I'd love to criticize, but, you know.

Host 2:56 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 2:56 [laughs]

John Oliver 2:56 Game recognize game. [laughs] You know, India, you know.

Host 3:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 3:04 [laughs]

John Oliver 3:06 What about, what about if we call it something different? [laughs]

Host 3:09 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 3:10 [laughs]

John Oliver 3:10 Uh, yeah, so, uh, uh, the, a bunch, I think a bunch of, uh, English comedians had been asked, like, to put themselves on tape. Then, like, they, so I think I'm never gonna hear from them again. Then they say, "Oh, they wanna, they wanna meet you."

Trevor Noah 3:21 Hmm.

John Oliver 3:21 "So you can..." So I think, "Fine. I've never been to New York before. This will be my free trip to New York for 36 hours." So I flew over here, stayed in Midtown, uh, uh, went to the, I sort of went to Applebee's for a meal, thought it, thought this must be, like, a quintessential American diner.

Trevor Noah 3:39 [laughs]

John Oliver 3:40 Applebee's.

Trevor Noah 3:41 I love how you're ticking all the boxes-

John Oliver 3:42 Yeah

Trevor Noah 3:42 ... of every immigrant who comes here.

John Oliver 3:45 That's right.

Trevor Noah 3:45 It's Midtown.

John Oliver 3:46 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 3:46 You think, "Best location."

John Oliver 3:47 That's right.

Trevor Noah 3:47 "Best, you can't get better than this."

Host 3:49 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 3:49 Hell's Kitchen, what a great name.

John Oliver 3:51 It's true. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 3:52 You know what I mean?

John Oliver 3:52 There's probably-

Trevor Noah 3:53 Probably, probably ironically named.

John Oliver 3:54 Yes.

Trevor Noah 3:54 Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean.

John Oliver 3:54 This must be where everything is.

Trevor Noah 3:56 And, and then Applebee's-

Host 3:57 Yeah, it's Midtown

Trevor Noah 3:58 ... yeah, and then you go to Applebee's-

Host 3:59 The middle of it

Trevor Noah 3:59 ... or one of, you're like, "Wow."

Host 4:00 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 4:00 "I'm, I'm-

John Oliver 4:00 Yep

Trevor Noah 4:00 ... this seems like fine dining."

John Oliver 4:02 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 4:02 You're just ticking all the boxes. And then?

John Oliver 4:04 So then, yeah, I then, I, I went to the building, like, uh, auditioned for John.

Trevor Noah 4:10 Did you know who Jon Stewart was?

John Oliver 4:11 Oh, yeah, of course.

Trevor Noah 4:12 Okay. You did. Okay.

John Oliver 4:12 Of course. It wasn't on in England, but I knew of it.

Trevor Noah 4:14 Okay. Mm.

John Oliver 4:14 It was the, very much the gold standard for me of what I, what political comedy in the world could be.

Trevor Noah 4:22 Mm. Got it.

John Oliver 4:22 It was, even, even back then in 2006, it was, it, despite not being on TV in England, its, uh, presence and influence was still felt.

Trevor Noah 4:30 Okay. All right. Got it. Got it.

John Oliver 4:31 So I was thrilled just to see it. Uh, so then I'd read, uh, uh, a chat.

Trevor Noah 4:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 4:37 You know, one of those green screen chats.

Trevor Noah 4:38 One of those chats that they, yeah.

John Oliver 4:39 Exactly. Uh, and, um, they said, "When could you start?" I'm like, "Uh, I live in England, so I don't have anything here." And I was supposed to be doing the Edinburgh Festival, uh, that summer. So I went back to England, picked up two bags full of stuff, and then came back here in July of 2006, and I've barely been back since.

Trevor Noah 5:01 It's so crazy how similar the stories are. It's almost like they have, like, a-

Host 5:05 Mm

Trevor Noah 5:06 ... a specific, 'cause, 'cause my-

Host 5:08 Way of recruiting you for the CIA.

Trevor Noah 5:09 Yeah. Because my, 'cause mine was, like, similar. [laughs]

Host 5:11 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 5:11 It really feels like that. It really feels like, 'cause mine was, like, similar but, but slightly different. Mine was, I got a call from John, right? I was in London. I, I'd just started, like, one of my first tours ever. I was, I was... But it was, like, a tiny tour.

John Oliver 5:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 5:24 But I was doing all the small cities, you know-

John Oliver 5:26 Yeah

Trevor Noah 5:26 ... so from London, Brighton, Newcastle, you name it.

John Oliver 5:28 Sure.

Trevor Noah 5:28 Everywhere. Big ones, small ones, everywhere.

Host 5:30 That's very tiny.

Trevor Noah 5:31 And no, but I'm saying, like-

Host 5:32 The whole entire-

Trevor Noah 5:32 What I... Listen, listen to what I mean by tiny.

Host 5:34 Oof. Baby.

Trevor Noah 5:34 It was like-

Host 5:35 Oh

Trevor Noah 5:35 ... 200-seaters, 150-seaters.

Host 5:37 [laughs]

John Oliver 5:37 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 5:37 Does it make sense?

John Oliver 5:38 Venues.

Trevor Noah 5:38 Venues tiny.

Host 5:39 Oh, okay. Okay.

John Oliver 5:39 He's not talking about population size.

Host 5:40 Okay, okay. Okay.

Trevor Noah 5:41 Yeah. Thank you for clarifying.

Host 5:42 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 5:43 Thank you for clarifying.

John Oliver 5:44 He's not saying Chipping Norton, a village.

Trevor Noah 5:45 No. [laughs]

John Oliver 5:45 You know? 120 people, but an amphitheater.

Host 5:49 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 5:49 [laughs]

John Oliver 5:49 Weirdly.

Trevor Noah 5:50 So my tour was tiny is what I'm saying.

John Oliver 5:52 Yeah.

Host 5:53 Okay, cool.

Trevor Noah 5:53 Okay. So-

Host 5:54 Huh

Trevor Noah 5:54 ... I get a call, don't know the number. I'm standing in Harrods. That's why I'll never forget this call.

John Oliver 5:59 Standing in Harrods.

Trevor Noah 6:00 So I'd heard about Harrods.

John Oliver 6:01 Again, again, quintessential.

Trevor Noah 6:02 Quintessential, yes.

John Oliver 6:02 Any immigrant ex-

Trevor Noah 6:03 Mm.

John Oliver 6:03 I've literally never been in Harrods in my whole life. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 6:06 Ah, this man. Everyone told me, "You've gotta go to Harrods."

John Oliver 6:09 [laughs]

Eugene 6:09 Oh.

Trevor Noah 6:09 Everyone was like, "You, you have-"

Eugene 6:11 Why?

Trevor Noah 6:11 Because they're like, "It's the store..." And remember, this is before Amazon-

Eugene 6:14 It's a mall

Trevor Noah 6:14 ... Yeah, but this is before things like that-

Eugene 6:16 Mm

Trevor Noah 6:16 ... existed-

John Oliver 6:16 Right

Trevor Noah 6:17 ... in that way.

Eugene 6:17 Yeah.

John Oliver 6:18 Right.

Eugene 6:18 You can find anything.

Trevor Noah 6:19 They said, "You go to Harrods, and you can find anything."

Eugene 6:21 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 6:21 And I was like, "What does that mean?" They said-

Eugene 6:22 Found a job

Trevor Noah 6:23 ... "Just go."

Eugene 6:23 Oh.

Trevor Noah 6:23 "Just go to Harrod-

Eugene 6:24 Okay.

Trevor Noah 6:24 You, very nicely done.

Eugene 6:26 Sorry, sorry.

Trevor Noah 6:26 So I go to Harrods.

John Oliver 6:27 [laughs] Yeah.

Trevor Noah 6:28 I'm-

John Oliver 6:28 You find anything-

Trevor Noah 6:29 I'm in the w-

John Oliver 6:29 ... you can't afford anything

Trevor Noah 6:30 ... I'm, I'm in one...

Eugene 6:31 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 6:31 Yeah, you can't. I'm in the low-

John Oliver 6:32 Yeah

Trevor Noah 6:32 ... lower level one below the-

Eugene 6:34 Yeah

Trevor Noah 6:34 ... like, m- minus one level.

Eugene 6:36 Wait, and there's different levels?

Trevor Noah 6:37 Yeah, and they all have different things, so clothing, uh, perfumes, food-

Eugene 6:41 Okay, okay

Trevor Noah 6:41 ... what, you know what I mean?

Eugene 6:42 So I'm-

John Oliver 6:42 International arms dealing.

Trevor Noah 6:43 [laughs]

Eugene 6:45 Misogyny.

John Oliver 6:46 Yes.

Trevor Noah 6:46 [laughs]

Eugene 6:46 'Cause apparently you are famous for that as well.

John Oliver 6:48 Well, that's, that's, no, that's pumped in through the vents.

Trevor Noah 6:49 [laughs]

John Oliver 6:49 That's, that's, historically, that's everywhere.

Trevor Noah 6:52 So, and then my phone rings. I was staring at an underwater scooter.

Eugene 6:56 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 6:56 I will never forget this moment. The, I'm... I was staring at it, thinking, "How in my life will I ever be able to afford one of these?"

Eugene 7:03 Mm.

Trevor Noah 7:03 'Cause it's impossible. I didn't even think about where I would use it. I just went, "I need this in my life."

Eugene 7:07 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 7:07 It is an underwater scooter.

John Oliver 7:09 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 7:09 So you, you, you have, like, the, what do you call those things, where you put the bulb-

Eugene 7:12 The helmet?

Trevor Noah 7:12 ... over your head? No.

Eugene 7:13 Oh.

John Oliver 7:13 Oh, my God.

Trevor Noah 7:13 You know, like when you, you go to scuba dive.

Eugene 7:15 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 7:16 You'd wear that-

Eugene 7:16 Oh, yes

Trevor Noah 7:17 ... that thing-

Eugene 7:18 Yes

Trevor Noah 7:18 ... old scuba guys would wear.

Eugene 7:19 Yes, yes.

John Oliver 7:19 That was an underwater-

Eugene 7:20 Well, it used to be brass

Trevor Noah 7:21 ... Yes, that thing. But now it w- it's on a scooter, so you go down on the scooter, and then you have that on your head, and you just ride around.

John Oliver 7:27 That's the impulse buy that you're tempted to-

Eugene 7:28 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. So it's that brass helmet, but it's not brass anymore, huh?

Trevor Noah 7:33 It's not brass.

Eugene 7:34 Okay.

John Oliver 7:34 No, because it would be too heavy.

Trevor Noah 7:35 Yeah.

Eugene 7:36 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 7:36 So-

John Oliver 7:36 I think we've moved past brass.

Trevor Noah 7:37 [laughs]

John Oliver 7:38 No, I think the moment that we've got underwater scooters-

Trevor Noah 7:40 [laughs]

John Oliver 7:40 ... we've fixed the brass helmet situation.

Trevor Noah 7:43 [laughs]

John Oliver 7:43 I think one followed the other.

Eugene 7:46 Oh, man.

Trevor Noah 7:47 So-

John Oliver 7:47 It's not, "This thing's gonna be great."

Trevor Noah 7:50 [laughs]

John Oliver 7:50 "If I can just..."

Trevor Noah 7:55 [laughs] Oh, man. So it's, it's-

Eugene 7:59 Okay, so, no, wait. W- wait, wait.

Trevor Noah 8:01 Yeah.

Eugene 8:01 I can't move on from this. You have to describe the contraption.

John Oliver 8:03 Yes.

Trevor Noah 8:03 Okay. So now imagine a scooter or what, I guess in America do they call it a moped.

John Oliver 8:07 Done.

Trevor Noah 8:07 Whatever it, this little thing.

Eugene 8:08 Yes.

Trevor Noah 8:08 Me like a Vespa type thing.

Eugene 8:09 Yes.

John Oliver 8:10 Yes.

Trevor Noah 8:10 Me, me, me, me, me, that thing.

John Oliver 8:11 Yes.

Trevor Noah 8:11 Okay?

Eugene 8:11 That was a Road Runner.

Trevor Noah 8:12 Now imagine it has no wheels.

Eugene 8:13 That was a Road Runner.

John Oliver 8:13 No wheels

Eugene 8:14 ... that was not a scooter.

Trevor Noah 8:14 No, that's how they sound. Me, me, me, me.

Eugene 8:16 Me, me, me, me.

Trevor Noah 8:17 Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

John Oliver 8:18 Yeah.

Eugene 8:18 Okay, okay.

Trevor Noah 8:18 Road Runner is meep, meep. There's a difference.

Eugene 8:20 Ooh.

Trevor Noah 8:21 So-

John Oliver 8:21 God, I w-

Eugene 8:21 So you spot the difference

John Oliver 8:22 ... I wish he was wrong, but he is right.

Trevor Noah 8:24 [laughs]

Eugene 8:24 You spot the difference there.

John Oliver 8:25 I want, I wanted that to be a distinction without a difference, but actually that was.

Eugene 8:28 Okay, okay.

Trevor Noah 8:29 Okay.

Eugene 8:29 That's the story of Eugene's life. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 8:31 [laughs]

John Oliver 8:32 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 8:32 So it's, it's, it's a, so now imagine that.

Eugene 8:35 A moped.

Trevor Noah 8:35 No wheels.

Eugene 8:35 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 8:36 Right? But it has a little propeller underneath.

Eugene 8:38 Ah.

Trevor Noah 8:38 Okay? So sort of like a jet ski, but not. But you can't, you can't see the, the motor. So that's it.

Eugene 8:43 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 8:43 Mm.

Trevor Noah 8:43 So you sit and you ride like that.

Eugene 8:44 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 8:45 But then it has a contraption that comes from the front of it-

Eugene 8:49 Is the question from the class-

Trevor Noah 8:50 ... that, that brings-

Eugene 8:50 The, the question from the-

Trevor Noah 8:50 Wait, wait, wait. I'll explain this part.

John Oliver 8:51 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 8:51 So there's a contraption that comes over the front of it, and then there's a dome that goes over your head-

John Oliver 8:55 Okay

Trevor Noah 8:56 ... with a glass bubble-

Eugene 8:57 Ah

Trevor Noah 8:57 ... that you can look through.

John Oliver 8:58 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 8:59 So all you gotta do is get in there. You don't wear any scuba gear. You don't... And it has oxygen tanks on it. And then you just ride around.

Eugene 9:05 So does it have weights to weigh it down to the bottom of-

Trevor Noah 9:07 It is weights. The whole thing is weights. You can't, like, put this in your backpack. It's the size of a scooter.

Eugene 9:13 So how would you get into the water with it? So do you, do you-

Trevor Noah 9:15 These are not things I thought of at the time.

John Oliver 9:16 No, this, he had n- all he knew was, "I want this in my life"-

Trevor Noah 9:20 Yes

John Oliver 9:20 ... "despite the fact there's no room or practical use for it."

Trevor Noah 9:23 Or anything.

Eugene 9:23 Right.

Trevor Noah 9:23 I don't, I come from Johannesburg. We don't even have the ocean there.

John Oliver 9:26 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 9:26 I was just like, "I

Trevor Noah 9:27 know I need this in my life."

John Oliver 9:27 I'm in the market for an instantly depreciating asset.

Trevor Noah 9:30 [laughs]

Eugene 9:32 [laughs]

John Oliver 9:33 To call this thing an investment would not be fair.

Trevor Noah 9:36 [laughs]

John Oliver 9:36 You are setting fire to money.

Eugene 9:38 To your money. [laughs]

John Oliver 9:39 To your money.

Trevor Noah 9:40 But I didn't have the money. I was just staring at it. Then my phone rang, and it was Jon Stewart. I didn't know Jon Stewart. Unlike you, I didn't know who he even was.

Eugene 9:50 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 9:50 And, and then he came on, and you, you know Jon better than anyone.

Eugene 9:54 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 9:55 Like, Jon does not take himself as seriously as people take him.

John Oliver 9:58 No.

Trevor Noah 9:59 Right?

Eugene 9:59 Mm.

John Oliver 10:00 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 10:00 So he calls me, goes, "Uh, hey, um, can I speak to Trevor?" I'm like, "Speaking." He says, "Hey, you speaking to John Stewart? Uh, I host a little show." That's what he said. He, the exact phrasing was, "I host a little show in America called The Daily Show."

John Oliver 10:12 Mm.

Trevor Noah 10:12 Um, and I-

John Oliver 10:14 That joke only works if you know what The Daily Show is. Otherwise, it just seems-

Trevor Noah 10:17 Yes

John Oliver 10:17 ... like a description.

Eugene 10:18 Was wasted on you.

Trevor Noah 10:18 'Cause this was the big... So I was like-

Eugene 10:19 Just like the water, underwater scooter-

Trevor Noah 10:21 I was just like-

Eugene 10:21 ... totally wasted on you

Trevor Noah 10:22 ... I was like, "No, no, that was not wasted on me."

Eugene 10:24 Did you buy it?

Trevor Noah 10:25 I couldn't.

John Oliver 10:26 Let's get back to that.

Eugene 10:27 Okay, sure.

John Oliver 10:27 Let's get back to that.

Eugene 10:28 Yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 10:28 So then Jon goes-

John Oliver 10:30 I, I'm not done with that either.

Trevor Noah 10:31 So Jon goes-

Eugene 10:32 Same

Trevor Noah 10:32 ... So, wait, so Jon goes, "I host a, a little show, um, and I'm Jon Stewart." Then I was like, "I was..." He's like, "I don't know if you've heard of me." I was like, "No, no, I haven't." And then he said, his phrasing, I, I forget it sometimes, but he goes, like, he said something to the effect of, "Nor should you have."

John Oliver 10:45 Yeah, that sounds-

Trevor Noah 10:45 That's what he said

John Oliver 10:45 ... that sounds right.

Trevor Noah 10:46 He said, "Uh, Jon Stewart. I don't know if you've heard of me." Then I said, "No, I, I haven't." Then he said, "Nor should you have."

John Oliver 10:50 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 10:51 And then I, he said, "I host a little show in America called The Daily Show."

Eugene 10:54 Mm.

Trevor Noah 10:54 Then I was like, "Oh, I think I've heard of that." And he's like, "As you should." [laughs]

Eugene 10:57 [laughs]

John Oliver 10:57 As you should have.

Trevor Noah 10:59 And he's like, um, uh, "We, we, we saw some of your stuff. I like your stuff. I was wondering," like you, he's like, "What do you do? What do you do? Would you like to come to New York?"

John Oliver 11:07 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 11:07 And now, first of all, I come from South Africa. I'm like, this, 50% chance this is a scam.

Eugene 11:12 One.

Trevor Noah 11:13 This is somebody who's just trying to get my details.

John Oliver 11:14 Mm.

Trevor Noah 11:14 I know

Trevor Noah 11:15 how this goes.

Eugene 11:15 Never mind the underwater scooter.

Trevor Noah 11:16 No.

John Oliver 11:16 Nuh-uh.

Trevor Noah 11:17 He's going, "What is your credit card details?"

Eugene 11:18 Obviously a scam on the phone right away.

John Oliver 11:19 He's, he's barely listening to the guy. He's more just looking at the scooter.

Trevor Noah 11:21 I'm still reading the, the, the specs-

John Oliver 11:23 Exactly. Yeah

Trevor Noah 11:23 ... on the thing while he's talking.

Eugene 11:25 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 11:25 Then he said, "Can you come to New York?" And then I was like, "Uh, no." Then, and I was like, "What's, what's..." He's like, "We wanna hire you. You're gonna come to New York," and what. I was like, "Oh, no, I, I, no thank you." Uh, he's like, "I'm sorry, what?" [laughs] And I'll never forget, he went, "I'm sorry, what?" And I said, "Yeah, I've got a, I've got a tour that I'm, I'm, I'm doing now." Luton, like, all these places.

Eugene 11:45 Chipping Norton.

Trevor Noah 11:46 Like, I'm out here, baby.

Eugene 11:47 Squawksbury.

John Oliver 11:48 I said the same thing. I said a version of that when they offered me the job.

Trevor Noah 11:52 You didn't.

John Oliver 11:52 My, my manager said, "Yeah, they're o- there's, they want you to do the job." And I said, "I can't do it. I'm going to Edinburgh."

Trevor Noah 11:58 You see?

John Oliver 11:58 And he said-

Eugene 11:59 Mm. Mm

John Oliver 11:59 ... "Yeah, you're not going to Edinburgh."

Trevor Noah 12:00 [laughs]

John Oliver 12:00 "You're gonna go-"

Eugene 12:01 Oh.

John Oliver 12:01 "You're gonna go-"

Trevor Noah 12:01 You had a manager. That's what saved you

John Oliver 12:03 ... "You're gonna go, you're gonna go do this job." Otherwise, I was thinking, yeah, but I got an 80-seater room at The Stand.

Trevor Noah 12:07 Guys, do you know how hard it is to book Edinburgh?

John Oliver 12:09 Yeah. I got a room

Eugene 12:10 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 12:11 Your internationally acclaimed satirical TV show has to wait, baby

John Oliver 12:14 I don't think you understand supply and demand in Edinburgh in August

Trevor Noah 12:17 [laughs]

Eugene 12:17 [laughs]

John Oliver 12:17 [laughs]

Eugene 12:19 And your review written by Kopstick.

Trevor Noah 12:21 [laughs] Oh, wow.

Eugene 12:23 What a cut. What a deep cut, Eugene.

John Oliver 12:24 Wow. You got a Kate Kopstick reference.

Trevor Noah 12:27 [laughs]

Eugene 12:28 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 12:28 Man, we've made it.

Eugene 12:29 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 12:30 So, so that was me. And then John said, "Wait," so t- then he paused and he went, "Tell me about your life. Who are you?" And I was like, "Ah, I'm a comedian and I, I'm, I'm doing comedy now."

John Oliver 12:41 I'm just a man-

Eugene 12:42 [laughs]

John Oliver 12:42 ... staring at an underwater scooter-

Eugene 12:45 An old man that wants a scooter [laughs]

John Oliver 12:45 ... wanting it to be mine

Eugene 12:47 In a landlocked city. [laughs]

John Oliver 12:48 Remind me, who are you again?

Eugene 12:50 Far, far away. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 12:52 [laughs]

John Oliver 12:52 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 12:52 And, and then he, he basically said, "Well, if you ever change your mind, and if you come to New York-"

Eugene 12:58 Wow

Trevor Noah 12:58 "... uh, let me know." And he said, uh, he said, "Wait, but I'm just confirm, are you saying no?" And I said, "Yeah."

Eugene 13:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 13:03 "But with all due respect, I am."

Eugene 13:04 Yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 13:05 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 13:05 And he was... And I, I'm glad I didn't, I genuinely didn't know w- I wasn't like, it wasn't, it wasn't me being like, "I don't have time for this." It was more like, "Oh, you and your little show. I also have a little show."

John Oliver 13:16 Yes, yes.

Trevor Noah 13:16 "We've gotta prioritize our little shows in life."

John Oliver 13:18 Yes.

Eugene 13:18 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 13:19 "So thank you for the call."

John Oliver 13:20 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 13:20 "I'm gonna carry on with my life." Had I known that he would have brought me much closer to that underwater scooter-

John Oliver 13:26 So much closer

Trevor Noah 13:26 ... than anything else, this, that wouldn't have... Ah.

John Oliver 13:30 Yeah, it's a, that's amazing. That's a way, with, that is relatively similar. Then other than, wait, so when did you find out what that show meant?

Eugene 13:37 I was more worried about did anyone come and help him at the store?

Trevor Noah 13:40 N- none.

Eugene 13:41 Okay.

Trevor Noah 13:42 No one came and helped. No one came and said, "Sir, do you need any..."

Eugene 13:44 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 13:44 I didn't look like I could buy anything in that store.

John Oliver 13:46 Yeah, I think Harrods staff are pretty well-trained for-

Eugene 13:49 Racism

John Oliver 13:50 ... whether you can...

Eugene 13:51 Oh.

John Oliver 13:51 Oh, no race- I mean, again-

Trevor Noah 13:52 Classism

John Oliver 13:52 ... I think that comes through the vents.

Eugene 13:54 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 13:54 [laughs]

John Oliver 13:55 With, with the classism too, that's all there.

Trevor Noah 13:57 No, I actually, I would say Harrods-

John Oliver 13:57 I think what they're looking for is Saudi money.

Trevor Noah 14:00 Yeah.

Eugene 14:00 Hmm.

John Oliver 14:00 I think, I think, or Michael Jackson moving through it went.

Trevor Noah 14:03 Mm-hmm. Or even, even, like, oil-

Eugene 14:04 But they did Michael Jackson dirty, so let's not go there

Trevor Noah 14:06 ... compounds.

John Oliver 14:06 They did Michael Jackson dirty. [laughs]

Eugene 14:09 You know the story about how they sold him-

John Oliver 14:11 Uh-huh

Eugene 14:11 ... all the cheap knockoff stuff?

John Oliver 14:12 Oh, that.

Eugene 14:12 And they were like, "He, he just has money. He's just gonna take it." And he was like, "That's pretty. That's pretty."

John Oliver 14:17 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:17 Hmm.

John Oliver 14:17 That-

Eugene 14:17 They were like, "He doesn't know the difference."

John Oliver 14:18 Interesting.

Eugene 14:19 And they just-

John Oliver 14:19 Yes

Eugene 14:19 ... sold him everything.

John Oliver 14:20 That was, that is not my-

Trevor Noah 14:21 They did that to Michael Jackson?

Eugene 14:22 Yeah.

John Oliver 14:22 Mm.

Eugene 14:23 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 14:23 Wow.

John Oliver 14:24 My, my takeaway from the flawed li- m- Michael Jackson is not that he was, um, scammed out of some purchases.

Trevor Noah 14:29 [laughs]

Eugene 14:31 [laughs]

John Oliver 14:31 I think we would get to that-

Eugene 14:32 [laughs]

John Oliver 14:32 ... but I would probably work through the abuse allegations and the history of music before we got to contractually it felt like Harrods let him down.

Eugene 14:42 [laughs] Buy, buy, buying a fake Ming dynasty vase. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 14:47 [laughs]

Eugene 14:47 Ironically made in China as well.

Trevor Noah 14:49 [laughs] Wow. Wow. So wait, okay, so now let's, let's go back to your world. So now you get, you get-

John Oliver 14:55 Yeah

Trevor Noah 14:55 ... you get brought in.

John Oliver 14:56 Yes.

Trevor Noah 14:56 So now you, you, you come in immediately.

John Oliver 14:58 I come-

Trevor Noah 14:58 And that's it, you start on The Daily Show

John Oliver 14:59 ... I come in to start work immediately. So I don't know if they did this with you.

Trevor Noah 15:02 This is so insane.

John Oliver 15:02 I, I, when I got my stuff, I came back. My first day in the office, I think I've found out since then, this is a very nice thing that they would do.

Eugene 15:09 Hmm.

John Oliver 15:09 They would try and get you on the show straight away.

Trevor Noah 15:11 [laughs]

Eugene 15:11 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 15:12 So you're not hanging around too long, watching, thinking about what it will be like. I la-

Trevor Noah 15:16 Ah

John Oliver 15:17 ... I landed back here-

Trevor Noah 15:19 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 15:19 ... exhausted, got, went to the office. They said, "You're gonna be on the show tonight." Like, "Wait, what?" And so the whole thing then moved very, very quickly-

Trevor Noah 15:28 Wow

John Oliver 15:28 ... and all of a sudden I was in. In retrospect, I see that that is a very kind thing to do for people-

Trevor Noah 15:34 Yeah. Yeah

John Oliver 15:34 ... to get them in quickly.

Eugene 15:35 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 15:35 Yeah.

John Oliver 15:35 So you're not overthinking it.

Trevor Noah 15:36 Essentially it's, I think it's, like, the same tactics that a, like, a drug gang uses.

Eugene 15:40 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 15:41 When you, when you're flirting with the idea of being part of the cartel-

John Oliver 15:44 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 15:44 ... they get you into a deal as quickly as possible so that you can't now back out.

John Oliver 15:48 Perfect analogy. I, I did this-

Eugene 15:50 Wait, wait, wait, wait. You have to explain to us. You said no at the shop, right?

Trevor Noah 15:53 I said no, yeah.

Eugene 15:54 So how long before you say yes? And what, what makes you say yes?

Trevor Noah 15:56 So this was, I, I don't know how long it was after that. I, I'm bad with time in that way. Maybe it was six months. I don't know. I don't know. But it was much, much, much later.

Eugene 16:04 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 16:04 I'm, I, I'm coming to New York to do my show in a small little theater.

Eugene 16:09 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 16:09 'Cause remember, I'm on my trajectory. I'm nailing it here.

Eugene 16:11 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:11 I'm doing my thing.

John Oliver 16:12 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:12 John contacts me again, basically goes like,

Trevor Noah 16:15 "I heard you're in New York."

John Oliver 16:16 Oh, wow.

Eugene 16:17 He doesn't have an excuse now.

Trevor Noah 16:17 Then I'm like, "Ah, man, this," I'm like, "This guy."

John Oliver 16:19 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:20 Yo. Now I still don't... So here's, here's what I have to explain about this. I didn't, first of all, I didn't know what The Daily Show was because we didn't get it in that way in South Africa.

Eugene 16:30 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 16:31 But more importantly, I had seen what John did, and I've told him this. I'd seen it, but it used to air on CNN.

John Oliver 16:38 Yeah, that's right, the global edition.

Trevor Noah 16:39 The international edition.

John Oliver 16:40 Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:41 The global edition.

John Oliver 16:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:43 So what I saw was Christiane Amanpour.

John Oliver 16:46 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:47 Richard Quest.

John Oliver 16:48 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 16:49 News from Hong Kong.

John Oliver 16:50 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 16:50 News from, uh, India, news from England, you na- Then this guy would come on TV, I assumed drunk.

John Oliver 16:59 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 16:59 Because he was reading the news, but man, this guy was not taking it seriously.

John Oliver 17:04 Yeah.

Eugene 17:05 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 17:05 But this was, so Jon Stewart was part of CNN in my world.

Eugene 17:08 Hmm, he used to, part of the lineup.

John Oliver 17:08 He used to do a package, but he would introduce it standing up by a green screen.

Trevor Noah 17:12 Yes.

Eugene 17:12 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 17:12 And I then watched him do it, because it would be one of the writers' jobs-

Trevor Noah 17:16 Exactly

John Oliver 17:16 ... would be one of us to write, you would just shit out a-

Trevor Noah 17:19 [laughs]

John Oliver 17:20 ... wraparound bit for the global edition.

Eugene 17:21 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 17:21 And no one cares about it because they don't see it.

Trevor Noah 17:23 Nobody cared about it.

John Oliver 17:24 Unfortunately, unfortunately, the rest of the world, it's the only thing they see. [laughs] So they see this-

Trevor Noah 17:29 Because it's only on once a week

John Oliver 17:30 ... this half-baked thing of a guy-

Eugene 17:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 17:31 ... speed reading his way through, "Welcome to global edition. This is just, I'm vomiting this out into the world-

Eugene 17:36 Hmm

John Oliver 17:36 ... and no one's gonna hear it." And then the rest of the world-

Eugene 17:38 Gets to see it

John Oliver 17:38 ... is watching it after Christiane Amanpour has just told them what happened in Libya, is this very, very confident guy in New York going, "Oh, welcome, uh, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, here's my show."

Eugene 17:49 Wow.

Trevor Noah 17:49 And it w- it was n- so I, that's what I-

Eugene 17:51 Wow

Trevor Noah 17:51 ... so I was like, "Oh, I, uh, definitely don't wanna be part of that thing, whatever it is."

Eugene 17:54 [laughs]

John Oliver 17:54 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 17:54 "I don't wanna join the news." Do you know what I'm saying?

Eugene 17:57 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 17:57 Don't wanna join the news.

John Oliver 17:58 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 17:59 So the first time I fin- So I, I come to the show, came to the show when I was in New York. John said, "Just come to the building and hang out with us."

John Oliver 18:08 Mm-hmm.

Eugene 18:08 Hmm.

Trevor Noah 18:09 So I walk in.

Eugene 18:09 That does sound gang-like

Trevor Noah 18:11 See? Just hang out.

John Oliver 18:12 Was I gone then, or was I there?

Trevor Noah 18:14 You were... You weren't there.

John Oliver 18:16 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 18:17 So-

John Oliver 18:17 So I must have gone.

Trevor Noah 18:17 You were gone.

John Oliver 18:18 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 18:18 You were gone. Yeah, you were gone. I think you were just about to launch your show. You hadn't launched your show on HBO a- actually.

John Oliver 18:23 Oh, wow. So you went right in that window?

Trevor Noah 18:25 Yeah. You had just left-

John Oliver 18:26 In that two-month window, yeah

Trevor Noah 18:27 ... you had just left, but you hadn't launched your show.

John Oliver 18:29 Huh.

Trevor Noah 18:30 And they were using you as the template for me. Uh, like, literally, they were like, "So this works for Jo-" So they were literally like, "John Oliver would sit in this office, so you can sit here in this office."

John Oliver 18:42 [laughs] Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 18:42 And, 'cause they're- I'm assuming they were just like, "It's Empire vibes. You guys, this is what you do, right?"

John Oliver 18:46 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 18:46 "You sound like him, I think."

John Oliver 18:47 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 18:47 So- [laughs]

John Oliver 18:48 Yeah. We, we do all sound the same.

Trevor Noah 18:51 You're not from here? Okay.

John Oliver 18:52 It is, it is... There is something about the American ear that cannot distinguish between English, Australian, New Zealand-

Trevor Noah 18:58 And South African

John Oliver 18:58 ... and South African.

Trevor Noah 18:58 Yeah, no.

John Oliver 18:59 All the four of us-

Trevor Noah 18:59 It's all the same. Mm-hmm

John Oliver 19:00 ... are the same, and they can't do it.

Trevor Noah 19:01 Mm.

John Oliver 19:01 They don't hear the vowels. It just hit. For some reason, that's, our sounds-

Trevor Noah 19:06 Mm. All of them

John Oliver 19:07 ... are completely indistinct, so it just, it's a gamble. It's one in four chance each time.

Trevor Noah 19:12 The best description someone gave me once that helped me understand this, it encapsulated it, was there's a g- guy I met in the street, UPS driver, big fan of the show.

John Oliver 19:21 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 19:21 I was hosting The Daily Show at this time. And he looked at me, and he went, he's like, "Hey, man." He's like, "Yo, man, I mess with this dude." He said, "You that, you that British dude from South Africa."

John Oliver 19:31 [laughs] Well, again-

Trevor Noah 19:33 But that was-

John Oliver 19:34 Again, historically, there-

Trevor Noah 19:36 But that was so perfect to what you're saying.

John Oliver 19:37 Mm.

Trevor Noah 19:37 He said, "You're that British dude-

John Oliver 19:39 Yes, indeed. Yeah. Yes

Trevor Noah 19:41 ... from South Africa."

John Oliver 19:41 Couldn't distinguish between the two, yeah.

Trevor Noah 19:41 Yeah. He knew where I was from.

John Oliver 19:42 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 19:43 But he's like, "But-

John Oliver 19:43 He can't hear it

Trevor Noah 19:44 ... you're British."

John Oliver 19:45 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 19:46 So I'm at the show.

John Oliver 19:48 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 19:48 They're using the John template-

John Oliver 19:49 Mm

Trevor Noah 19:49 ... which I'm grateful to you for, by the way-

John Oliver 19:51 Mm

Trevor Noah 19:51 ... in many ways, because now they had, like, a, an idea. They're like, "All right. You, you, these are things that we think work for you."

John Oliver 19:56 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 19:56 "'Cause you like tea, not coffee. You're that kind of guy."

John Oliver 19:58 Sure, yeah.

Trevor Noah 19:59 Right? [laughs] So they go, "This is what we're gonna do." John goes, just hang out. I go into one of their meetings. If you go into a Daily Show meeting, you will not know a single thing. Maybe now, because of Trump, the world has become more attuned with what America's talking about.

John Oliver 20:16 Mm.

Trevor Noah 20:16 Back then, it was John Boehner-

John Oliver 20:19 Yeah

Trevor Noah 20:19 ... which threw me off, because on the screen, I read Boner.

John Oliver 20:22 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 20:23 It's, 'cause B-O-E-H-N-E-R.

John Oliver 20:26 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 20:26 And then everyone was saying Boehner, and I was like, "Are they doing this on purpose as a joke-

John Oliver 20:30 Right

Trevor Noah 20:30 ... to avoid saying Boner?"

John Oliver 20:31 Yes. An audition.

Trevor Noah 20:32 And then they were talking about gerrymandering, filibustering. They were talking about like-

John Oliver 20:36 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 20:36 You know, I was, I was just like, "What is this?" And then at the end, John was like, "So what do you think?" And I said, "L- My, my friend-

John Oliver 20:42 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 20:43 ... you're a very funny guy. But this thing you do and what I do, very different worlds."

John Oliver 20:48 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 20:49 "You guys are doing homework. I'm doing comedy." [laughs]

John Oliver 20:52 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 20:52 "So-

John Oliver 20:53 Yeah

Trevor Noah 20:54 ... I like you a lot." Then he just walked around the building with me. We told jokes, told- 'cause John is funny. We just told, told jokes, told jokes, told jokes, told jokes. And then John said, "Let's do this conversation

Trevor Noah 21:03 on the air."

John Oliver 21:04 Did it sound the same? But yeah, but interestingly, c- 'cause having been in that process-

Trevor Noah 21:10 Mm

John Oliver 21:10 ... you're there at the morning. It's... I, I understand the distinction you're making between you're doing homework, I'm doing comedy. That time of the day, for the best comedy to happen, that time of the day has to be homework.

Trevor Noah 21:22 Yes.

John Oliver 21:22 Right?

Trevor Noah 21:23 Yeah.

John Oliver 21:23 So, uh, what, what feels like an anathema when you're looking at it is, "Hey, this is a writers meeting of comedy writers. Why is no one making jokes?" And the thing is, you can get too attracted to a joke, right? And you can try and-

Trevor Noah 21:39 Mm

John Oliver 21:39 ... build the whole day's show around a joke that you loved, whereas the truth is you need it to be foundationally solid.

Trevor Noah 21:45 Oh, I love that.

John Oliver 21:45 You build that joke on-

Trevor Noah 21:47 I love that

John Oliver 21:47 ... you build that joke on sand-

Trevor Noah 21:48 Mm

John Oliver 21:48 ... the joke you loved collapses, or you're gonna do some very dicey work trying to reinforce a joke-

Trevor Noah 21:53 And prop it up

John Oliver 21:54 ... that should not be standing up.

Trevor Noah 21:55 Mm.

John Oliver 21:56 So that is why those meetings can appear humorless if you're looking at it from the outside. But what they are doing is building the foundations for jokes that will come later.

Trevor Noah 22:07 No one explained it like this to me.

John Oliver 22:09 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 22:09 I-

John Oliver 22:09 'Cause you had just left

Trevor Noah 22:10 ... I wish you were there. No one explained it like that.

John Oliver 22:12 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 22:12 First of all, using the word anathema to describe what's going on in there.

John Oliver 22:15 Yeah, no, no, no.

Trevor Noah 22:16 [laughs]

John Oliver 22:16 I mean, already. Already, already, already.

Trevor Noah 22:18 Oh, it's biblical.

John Oliver 22:18 No, no, full on.

Trevor Noah 22:19 [laughs]

John Oliver 22:20 So then John said, "Let's do this in a conversation."

Trevor Noah 22:23 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

John Oliver 22:24 Literally, the conversation we have-

Trevor Noah 22:25 Yes

John Oliver 22:25 ... he's like, "What do you think of New York?" And then I told him a few things. He laughed. And he said a few things. I laughed, and we went back and forth. John said, "Why don't we do this on the show?"

Trevor Noah 22:31 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 22:31 I said, "I don't understand. I really don't understand what this show is now."

Trevor Noah 22:34 Yes. I have to go to Applebee's now.

John Oliver 22:36 Then John said, "Let's just, this thing-

Trevor Noah 22:38 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 22:38 ... let's do it on the show." And long story short, that's what we did. We basically took our conversation, turned it into a chat between us.

Trevor Noah 22:46 Yes.

John Oliver 22:46 And that, that's what we put on the show.

Trevor Noah 22:48 Mm.

John Oliver 22:49 And John was like, "That was amazing. Let's do it again." And then I said, "No, I'm going home."

Trevor Noah 22:53 [laughs]

John Oliver 22:54 "I don't wanna be a part of this," and I left. [laughs] And Trevor was just like-

Trevor Noah 22:57 Meanwhile, in South Africa, we're building statues of you.

John Oliver 22:59 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 23:00 Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. Cling, cling, cling, cling. [laughs]

John Oliver 23:05 'Cause it was... Guys, it is hard. Did you, did you anticipate how much hard work it would be? Uh, yes. I think I had a, uh, I think I knew it was gonna be hard. I think I didn't know exactly what you're talking about. I didn't know how quickly I was gonna need to do a crash course in American policy.

Trevor Noah 23:22 Yeah.

John Oliver 23:23 Not just the characters, but the functions of it, right? Where you are starting to look at the separation of powers and just the basic way that government operates.

Trevor Noah 23:33 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 23:33 And you realize, as you're in meetings for months, you're thinking, "I need to Google that later. [laughs] I need to Google that later."

Trevor Noah 23:40 Everything, yeah.

John Oliver 23:40 You're gonna have to kind of teach yourself as you go along and fill in the gaps and know that, in a sense, you're always in search of gaps, because that is how you're going to fundamentally understand the country that you're hoping

John Oliver 23:53 to call home, in my case.

Trevor Noah 23:54 Did you always know, like, what, what were you doing in-

John Oliver 23:56 No

Trevor Noah 23:56 ... what were you doing in, in the UK?

John Oliver 23:58 No, because my manager, the same guy that said, "You're not going to Edinburgh this year"-

Trevor Noah 24:01 Yeah

John Oliver 24:01 ... he said, "Just go. Like, uh, don't, don't sign anything more than a three-month lease-

Trevor Noah 24:06 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 24:06 ... because American TV shows fire you after three months."

Trevor Noah 24:09 Okay.

John Oliver 24:09 That was his inspiring team talk. [laughs] To me

Trevor Noah 24:12 This is an English manager

John Oliver 24:13 This is an... Very, this is an English manager. You're right.

Trevor Noah 24:15 Yeah, you can tell.

John Oliver 24:16 Yeah, exactly. This is just-

Trevor Noah 24:16 American, American managers would be like-

John Oliver 24:18 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 24:18 ... "Yo, this is it, baby."

John Oliver 24:20 Yeah, that's right.

Trevor Noah 24:20 "Sign, sign a seven-year lease. You're going six seasons, baby. You got it."

John Oliver 24:24 That-

Trevor Noah 24:24 English manager, I can see him being like, "All right, nothing more than three months."

John Oliver 24:27 That's right.

Trevor Noah 24:27 Um-

John Oliver 24:28 "Look, it's a huge opportunity for you, but to be honest, I'll see you in September-

Trevor Noah 24:30 [laughs]

John Oliver 24:31 ... with your tail between your legs, having been humbled by what they're about to do to you. Good luck." The, so that, yeah, so, uh, I- he had told me this is not gonna take long.

Trevor Noah 24:41 Yeah.

John Oliver 24:41 So I'd put all my stuff in storage-

Trevor Noah 24:43 Hm

John Oliver 24:43 ... uh, in South London. Uh, it was there until last summer, was when I got it out. It had been in storage-

Trevor Noah 24:48 Wait, till 2025

John Oliver 24:49 ... a storage facility for 18 years in, [laughs] in South Norwood, in South London.

Trevor Noah 24:54 Now you finally let, now you've relaxed.

John Oliver 24:56 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 24:56 You finally were like, "All right, I think this thing's going well."

John Oliver 24:58 Well, you say that though, because that, that is the problem, right? The, it's partly falling in love with a job, and falling in love with a country where you don't legally, permanently belong.

Trevor Noah 25:08 Yeah.

John Oliver 25:09 I remember, like six or seven months in, being very happy with, uh, with what was happening at the show-

Trevor Noah 25:18 Mm

John Oliver 25:18 ... and what I was learning, and how for the first time I felt like I fit in.

Trevor Noah 25:22 Hm.

John Oliver 25:23 And I remember landing from London, like the wheels hitting the ground

John Oliver 25:28 [laughs] in New York, and thinking to myself, "Oh, it's good to be home." And then I thought, "Uh-oh, that's a dangerous thing to think, because-

Trevor Noah 25:35 Hm

John Oliver 25:35 ... this is not my home. Like, I'm on a working visa. [laughs] That's a pro- if I, if I feel that way, I might need to start making plans for this truly being my home."

Trevor Noah 25:48 Huh.

John Oliver 25:48 Because I, it, before it had just felt like a, a fun adventure-

Trevor Noah 25:54 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 25:55 ... that I was having. Then you realize, "Oh, no, I think I love this more than I've loved anything." And, um, there were people at The Daily Show at the time using it as a springboard, because it was such a big deal, the show. It was like-

Trevor Noah 26:06 I mean, it was, it was huge

John Oliver 26:07 ... "You're going to a sitcom. You can be-"

Trevor Noah 26:07 When, yeah, when I think about, in y- in your-

John Oliver 26:10 Right

Trevor Noah 26:10 ... era, sort of like where you came on towards the end of, when I look at the class of people around that time, you had Steve Carell-

John Oliver 26:17 Steve Carell was just, uh, was before me. He'd gone.

Trevor Noah 26:19 Yeah, he had just left

John Oliver 26:20 I, I turned up, Ed Helms was, uh-

Trevor Noah 26:22 I mean-

John Oliver 26:22 ... it was, it was his last week, so he was off, going off to do the, uh, Office.

Trevor Noah 26:26 The s-

John Oliver 26:26 But 40 was off-

Trevor Noah 26:26 And The Hangover as well was coming up

John Oliver 26:27 ... exact- exactly.

Trevor Noah 26:28 Yeah.

John Oliver 26:28 So they were all doing stuff, but I didn't wanna do any of that. So I didn't want it to be a springboard at all.

Trevor Noah 26:34 This was it.

John Oliver 26:34 I didn't wanna go out on auditions.

Trevor Noah 26:36 Yeah.

John Oliver 26:36 I just wanted to do that show. I didn't wanna be in movies.

Trevor Noah 26:39 But wait, w- w- but-

John Oliver 26:39 I didn't wanna be in a sitcom.

Trevor Noah 26:41 Hm.

John Oliver 26:41 I didn't wanna act in something. I just wanted to be in that building doing that show.

Trevor Noah 26:46 But what version of it?

John Oliver 26:47 Hm.

Trevor Noah 26:47 Because the first time I saw you was when you did the piece about South Africa.

John Oliver 26:53 Oh, yeah, the World Cup.

Trevor Noah 26:54 You did that f- have you ever seen that?

John Oliver 26:55 No, no, no.

Trevor Noah 26:56 He did a piece for the World Cup. It is one of the most amazing pieces you'll ever see, especially if you're South African, but even if you're not.

John Oliver 27:04 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 27:04 But John came to South Africa.

John Oliver 27:06 Yeah, for the first, first game. I was, I watched that first game in, uh, Shabina, so I-

Trevor Noah 27:10 South Africa versus Mexico.

John Oliver 27:12 Yep.

Trevor Noah 27:12 Yeah.

John Oliver 27:12 Shabalala.

Trevor Noah 27:13 With a, with our bought goal.

John Oliver 27:16 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:16 I still think that goal was paid for.

John Oliver 27:18 I was- [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:18 Do you think you can pay for that? This is what happens when you don't watch football, my man. Do you think you can... Let me tell you something.

John Oliver 27:24 You can 100% pay for that.

Trevor Noah 27:25 Eugene, let me tell you something.

John Oliver 27:26 100%.

Trevor Noah 27:27 Eugene.

John Oliver 27:27 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 27:28 I can pay you all the money in the world.

John Oliver 27:31 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 27:32 And I can give you all the time in the world.

John Oliver 27:34 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 27:34 You will never create that goal.

John Oliver 27:36 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:38 My friend, do you understand how hard-

John Oliver 27:40 That's paper

Trevor Noah 27:40 ... you, there's so many things you can call-

John Oliver 27:41 That's paper.

Trevor Noah 27:41 So Eugene, I, I should give, I should give you a bit of context.

John Oliver 27:44 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 27:44 Eugene Ade doesn't believe in football.

John Oliver 27:46 Nope. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 27:48 [laughs]

John Oliver 27:48 You... Wait, hold on.

Trevor Noah 27:50 [laughs]

John Oliver 27:50 Hold on. I'm more interested in this than I is the underwater scooter. You don't believe in the

John Oliver 27:55 con-

Trevor Noah 27:55 No

John Oliver 27:55 ... the concept of it?

Trevor Noah 27:56 No, no, because I think football fans basically like other men.

John Oliver 28:01 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:01 Because if they really love football, they would watch women's football too, but because they appreciate just watching men only play football.

John Oliver 28:08 This argument is flawed on so many levels.

Trevor Noah 28:11 Take it there.

John Oliver 28:11 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 28:12 It's over for you. [laughs]

John Oliver 28:14 Take, take it away.

Trevor Noah 28:15 What, what, what are you talking about? Also add in the fact that he also thinks it's all a scam. It's all rigged.

John Oliver 28:20 Yeah, yeah. It's all-

Trevor Noah 28:21 It's all, like, manufactured

John Oliver 28:23 ... staged. It's all actors.

Trevor Noah 28:24 He, he thinks we're watching WWE.

John Oliver 28:25 It's all staged, auditioned. People have been groomed from childhood. They've been put in these camps to kick this ball. They're promised jerseys.

Trevor Noah 28:32 Oh, wow.

John Oliver 28:32 Other people are being co-opted into the scam.

Trevor Noah 28:34 I, I-

John Oliver 28:34 The World Cup's coming.

Trevor Noah 28:35 Yep.

John Oliver 28:36 Nobody wants this shit right now.

Trevor Noah 28:38 That World Cup-

John Oliver 28:38 America's gearing up.

Trevor Noah 28:39 That World Cup of ours, bought. It was just for Madiba.

John Oliver 28:43 Oh, oh, oh, that, the World Cup was bought?

Trevor Noah 28:46 And that goal.

John Oliver 28:47 No, no.

Trevor Noah 28:47 For the whole Siri.

John Oliver 28:48 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The World Cup, every World Cup is bought. FIFA is a criminal organization.

Trevor Noah 28:53 So first, tick, at least we agree there. First scam.

John Oliver 28:54 Yes, and then I, so I'm getting on your argument, saying FIFA is a criminal organization. Then I'm getting off, and you are driving that argument off into crazy town.

Trevor Noah 29:03 Remember, and also it's very hard for me to admit this, because I did a show called Countdown 2010-

John Oliver 29:08 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 29:08 ... which was a magazine show for four years, and I traveled the world, and I attended-

John Oliver 29:12 Yeah, you hyped us up for it. You hyped up the whole country-

Trevor Noah 29:13 And I, I attended-

John Oliver 29:13 ... for the World Cup

Trevor Noah 29:14 ... four years.

John Oliver 29:15 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 29:15 Attending huge sporting events.

John Oliver 29:17 Yes.

Trevor Noah 29:17 Euro Cup.

John Oliver 29:18 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 29:18 CAF, Africa Cup of Nations. Everything, I was there. What I took away home was my salary, and the fact that all of this is a scam.

John Oliver 29:26 Oh,

John Oliver 29:27 all of it is a scam. But the, the World Cup, FIFA as an organization is, you, you, I have to think of it in terms of crime.

Trevor Noah 29:34 Mm. Mm.

John Oliver 29:35 You can't, you can't really think of them as a sporting organization.

Trevor Noah 29:38 No.

John Oliver 29:38 The sport is somehow immune from their fuckery. So I was even seeing that Zoran Mamdani had that, uh, he's just re- he had released that video.

Trevor Noah 29:47 The one about ticket prices?

John Oliver 29:48 No, the, was it the one just saying, like, "FIFA, like, choose the game over greed"?

Trevor Noah 29:54 Yeah.

John Oliver 29:54 And that was the first time-

Trevor Noah 29:55 He said that

John Oliver 29:55 ... with Mamdani I'm thinking, "Well, hold, who do you think you're talking to?" [laughs]

Trevor Noah 29:59 [laughs]

John Oliver 29:59 Like, if I was FIFA-

Trevor Noah 30:00 Choose the game over greed

John Oliver 30:01 ... choose, but, but Infantino, the head of FIFA, is just gonna s- "I choose greed."

Trevor Noah 30:05 Yeah.

John Oliver 30:05 Every, I've always chosen greed.

Trevor Noah 30:07 Easily, anytime.

John Oliver 30:07 I've not-

Trevor Noah 30:08 I've not chosen anything else, ever

John Oliver 30:09 ... there's no moral compass that you can appeal to here. Nothing points north in my soul So yeah, FIFA is a terrible organization that happens to produce the best imaginable product. But those two things can-

Eugene 30:22 It's like a drug organization making the best drugs

John Oliver 30:24 ... the greatest cocaine.

Eugene 30:25 And the worst thing is when I saw this one documentary where they spoke about the football, the ball itself, that every ball for the World Cup has a name.

John Oliver 30:32 Well, that's-

Eugene 30:32 Oh, the Jabulani. Yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 30:33 That's true. Yeah.

Eugene 30:34 And it has its own idiosyncrasies.

John Oliver 30:36 Yes.

Trevor Noah 30:36 Yeah, that's true.

John Oliver 30:37 That's true.

Eugene 30:37 And I was like, "You see now."

John Oliver 30:39 No, you don't.

Eugene 30:39 For someone-

John Oliver 30:39 No

Eugene 30:39 ... someone who played a World Cup eight years ago, kicked a ball that's not similar to a World Cup ball now.

Trevor Noah 30:44 That's true.

Eugene 30:45 So you don't ... 'Cause cricket, the ball is the same.

John Oliver 30:48 You are right about FIFA, and you are wrong about football.

Eugene 30:51 Okay.

John Oliver 30:51 Football is the, is the beautiful cocaine-

Eugene 30:53 It is the most beautiful-

John Oliver 30:54 ... that the Sinaloa Cartel produces.

Eugene 30:55 It is the most beautiful thing that has ever-

John Oliver 30:58 Yeah

Eugene 30:58 ... existed.

Trevor Noah 30:59 But this explanation sounds better with a British accent.

John Oliver 31:02 Well, we both have one of those to American ears.

Eugene 31:04 Oh, yeah. Apparently-

John Oliver 31:04 So w- it, it's-

Eugene 31:04 [laughs] To a FedEx driver. [laughs]

John Oliver 31:05 Yeah, to a FedEx driver, it's all the same.

Trevor Noah 31:08 [laughs]

John Oliver 31:09 Old, old Johnny from Joburg here. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 31:15 [laughs]

Eugene 31:15 [laughs] Oh, man. It was a good one.

Trevor Noah 31:17 But you also-

Eugene 31:17 Johnny [laughs]

Trevor Noah 31:17 Do you rem- do y- I mean, you, I'm sure you remember it.

Eugene 31:20 From Jozi. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 31:20 Do, do you remember the piece where you were talking to-

John Oliver 31:21 Yeah

Trevor Noah 31:22 ... racist white South Africans?

John Oliver 31:23 Yes. Oh, man.

Eugene 31:23 Oh, man. You took it there.

John Oliver 31:24 I,

John Oliver 31:25 oh, yes.

Eugene 31:25 Our best imports.

Trevor Noah 31:26 Let me tell you something.

Eugene 31:27 Or exports, yeah.

Trevor Noah 31:28 John Oliver talking to racist white South Africans-

Eugene 31:30 Oh, man

Trevor Noah 31:30 ... and them rolling with him.

John Oliver 31:31 Yes. But you know what?

Trevor Noah 31:33 They loved him.

John Oliver 31:33 I was, what I was, of c- [laughs]

Trevor Noah 31:35 [laughs]

Eugene 31:35 [laughs]

John Oliver 31:35 Of course, there is something about me they like. But the interesting thing is that with that interview, I, what I wanted to do was get the ugliness-

Eugene 31:45 Mm

John Oliver 31:45 ... out in the open.

Eugene 31:46 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 31:46 The, in a short space, right? And so it's difficult because there is, as you well know, a polish [laughs] to racism-

Eugene 31:54 Very much so

John Oliver 31:54 ... in South Africa.

Eugene 31:55 Yeah.

John Oliver 31:55 A real, a, a, a real patina of-

Trevor Noah 31:58 [laughs]

Eugene 31:58 [laughs]

John Oliver 31:58 ... dignity around the horror. So I wanted to get under this guy's skin.

Eugene 32:03 Yeah.

John Oliver 32:03 And I got, I, Louis Theroux, you know-

Trevor Noah 32:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 32:06 ... had, had done some pieces in South Africa.

Trevor Noah 32:07 Yes. Yeah.

John Oliver 32:07 And so I, uh, one of the producers of The Daily Show had worked, uh, with Louis Theroux, so I'd asked him, "Hey, can you ask, is there anything, how does he get to the id of this ugliness?"

Trevor Noah 32:18 Right.

John Oliver 32:18 How do you get through all of the, uh, poise?

Trevor Noah 32:22 Yeah, the pretense.

John Oliver 32:23 Exactly.

Eugene 32:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 32:24 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 32:24 And he said, "As a British person, the one knife you have is make some glib remark about the Boers-

Trevor Noah 32:30 Yes

John Oliver 32:30 ... and the Boer War, and all of a sudden things will change." So, like, he's sitting down in his chair-

Trevor Noah 32:34 Oh

John Oliver 32:35 ... and, like, he, he's just, he seems very confident-

Eugene 32:38 The haircut is so much

John Oliver 32:38 ... very media practiced. I made some comment as they're putting his thing, and just the-

Trevor Noah 32:43 Yeah

John Oliver 32:44 ... eyes change. It's like, oh, and he went, "Oh, there's the human being-

Trevor Noah 32:47 Yeah

John Oliver 32:47 ... that I came here to talk to."

Trevor Noah 32:48 Wow.

Eugene 32:48 Because the relationship between-

John Oliver 32:49 "That piece of shit."

Eugene 32:49 ... British people or English people and the Afrikaners is quite dicey because there's a term that they have for someone who's half Afrikaans-

John Oliver 32:55 Mm-hmm

Eugene 32:56 ... half British called a salty-

Trevor Noah 32:57 Soutbiee.

John Oliver 32:57 Yeah.

Eugene 32:58 Because you know what that means?

John Oliver 32:59 Mm-mm.

Trevor Noah 32:59 Salty-

Eugene 32:59 Salty dick.

Trevor Noah 33:00 Yeah.

Eugene 33:00 So it means one foot is in Africa, and then the other foot is in Europe, and your-

Trevor Noah 33:04 And your penis is in the ocean

Eugene 33:05 ... your penis is in the ocean.

Trevor Noah 33:06 Which always threw me off-

John Oliver 33:07 Ah

Trevor Noah 33:07 ... because I was like, if you look at-

Eugene 33:08 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 33:08 ... if you look at where you're standing-

John Oliver 33:09 I was gonna say that doesn't-

Trevor Noah 33:10 ... on the map, it never made sense to me.

Eugene 33:12 Johnny, Johnny from Joburg is like, "Yeah, that's ... " [laughs]

Trevor Noah 33:14 It never made sense to me.

John Oliver 33:15 It's a, it's a slightly sandy right testicle.

Trevor Noah 33:18 Yeah, it never made sense to me. It never made sense.

John Oliver 33:19 So you, graphically, it's, I know it's not the main problem with that term-

Eugene 33:23 Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 33:24 [laughs]

John Oliver 33:24 ... but it doesn't seem it works on any real geographic level.

Eugene 33:27 Now, now it makes bad Michael Jackson-

John Oliver 33:28 Yeah

Eugene 33:28 ... comparisons.

John Oliver 33:28 But it worked, but it worked. Interestingly-

Trevor Noah 33:30 And it got you

John Oliver 33:31 ... it worked.

Trevor Noah 33:31 It got you.

John Oliver 33:31 It worked. He was im- immediately spiky.

Eugene 33:34 Oh, man.

John Oliver 33:34 And it was easier to coax out the ugly. He was less poised.

Trevor Noah 33:38 I, I always wondered when I watched you doing your pieces, I was just like, 'cause I, 'cause I didn't know you at all as a person, I always remember thinking, "Is this how this guy is?"

John Oliver 33:46 Yeah. It's not how I am because I think naturally I'm kind of non-confrontational. But in those pieces-

Trevor Noah 33:55 But you love stirring shit

John Oliver 33:55 ... I was a r- I love stirring shit up.

Trevor Noah 33:57 You really love stirring shit.

John Oliver 33:58 That's exactly it. I love stirring shit up more than I love being a human being.

Trevor Noah 34:02 [laughs]

Eugene 34:02 [laughs]

John Oliver 34:02 So all of a sudden you have this excuse to be the worst version of yourself-

Trevor Noah 34:07 [laughs]

John Oliver 34:07 ... that secretly you love more than the other parts.

Trevor Noah 34:10 [laughs]

Eugene 34:10 [laughs]

John Oliver 34:10 And you get to go full sociopath.

Eugene 34:12 Sounds like what Nazi officers used to say.

Trevor Noah 34:14 [laughs]

Eugene 34:14 "It's the uniform."

Trevor Noah 34:16 [laughs]

Eugene 34:18 [laughs]

John Oliver 34:18 What? They may know.

Trevor Noah 34:18 "I get to be a totally different person."

Eugene 34:20 "It's just the uniform."

John Oliver 34:21 It's something about the Hugo Boss tailoring.

Trevor Noah 34:25 [laughs]

Eugene 34:26 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 34:26 Oh, man. Yeah, because you-

Eugene 34:27 And the Louis Vuitton purse

Trevor Noah 34:28 ... you're just like-

John Oliver 34:28 [laughs] It's not me

Eugene 34:29 It just makes me evil.

John Oliver 34:30 It's that jacket.

Eugene 34:31 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 34:31 Wait, but, but did you, but did you know, did you know that you ... So you loved that part of the job.

John Oliver 34:38 Yes. I, I loved that.

Trevor Noah 34:38 But did you, did you know that you would love the hosting part of the job before you hosted, before you guest hosted?

John Oliver 34:42 No, I,

John Oliver 34:43 I was terrified of it. So John, he did this, a similar version of that conversation that he pinged on you-

Trevor Noah 34:48 Yeah

John Oliver 34:48 ... was that, uh, he called me at, at home, and I'm in my apartment, and he said, "Hey, I'm gonna, um, uh, that movie that I've been writing, I'm gonna be able to direct it." I'm going, "Oh, that's great." This feels like a conversation ... I know L- this, this can't be the first call. [laughs] You're just calling everyone you know to say you're excited. So he talks about when he's gonna do it over the summer. I'm like, "Oh, okay. Great. Yeah. So what?" And he went, "And could you, um-

Eugene 35:14 Mm. Mm

John Oliver 35:15 ... could you host the show for me?" I went, "Yeah." I'd, I've, I, because he'd given me everything, I think I was just hardwired-

Trevor Noah 35:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 35:22 ... I would say yes to everything he said.

Trevor Noah 35:23 Right.

John Oliver 35:24 You need something from me, I will do it.

Trevor Noah 35:25 Anytime.

John Oliver 35:25 Whatever that thing is.

Trevor Noah 35:26 Anytime.

Eugene 35:26 Yeah.

John Oliver 35:27 Cri- criminal or not.

Eugene 35:28 Say the word, and I'm there.

John Oliver 35:28 I'll do it.

Eugene 35:29 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 35:29 So I said yes like, like it's nothing, put the phone down, and then thought, "Whoa, boy. What have I just agreed to?" And that was terrifying. So then I m- for the month before he left, I shadowed him much more closely to work out exactly what the day is like, right?

Trevor Noah 35:47 Yeah.

John Oliver 35:48 The parts of the day that I didn't see-

Trevor Noah 35:49 Yes

John Oliver 35:49 ... just as a writer in the correspond-

Trevor Noah 35:51 Yes, yes, yes

John Oliver 35:51 ... on that show, what things need to happen so you get a fuller understanding of what mistakes do you need to fix earlier in the day, otherwise you're gonna be-

Trevor Noah 36:00 Can I tell you-

John Oliver 36:00 ... living inside them for the rest of the day

Trevor Noah 36:02 ... can I tell you-

Eugene 36:03 Wow

Trevor Noah 36:03 ... 'cause it's lit- it's literally, that's something people don't understand about making The Daily Show or, like, you know, a version of Last Week Tonight, which is, has a different process. But it's, it's the, that first block-

John Oliver 36:15 Yes

Trevor Noah 36:16 ... that you, that you start building on ... defines everything

John Oliver 36:18 That's right. Everything, everything cascades after that

Trevor Noah 36:21 That first block. So if you put that block just a little skew

Eugene 36:25 Downhill from there

Trevor Noah 36:25 By the time you get to block 100 at 5:00 PM-

Eugene 36:28 Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 36:29 ... you're like, "Why is this thing falling over and touching the ground?" And you're like, "Ah, it's that first block." And if you didn't catch the first block early enough-

John Oliver 36:35 Yes

Trevor Noah 36:35 ... now you're there at 5 trying to be like-

John Oliver 36:36 Yes

Trevor Noah 36:36 ... "How many blocks can we go back before we can..." Yo.

Eugene 36:39 Mm.

John Oliver 36:39 That... So s- what you learned, right, was a different way to look at that room than that first day that you were in it.

Trevor Noah 36:44 Oh, yeah, yeah. For sure.

John Oliver 36:44 Where what you're re- you're thinking is, "Why is this... Why, why don't we do... Why, why won't we-

Trevor Noah 36:48 Why is everyone so serious?

John Oliver 36:49 Yeah. Why aren't we worrying about what the color the blocks are?

Trevor Noah 36:51 Yeah.

John Oliver 36:51 You, oh, you don't wanna worry about-

Eugene 36:53 Nothing to drive a real quick

John Oliver 36:53 ... you can change the color of a block in a second.

Trevor Noah 36:55 Yeah.

John Oliver 36:56 That's what, what, what I realized was being in rewrites w- good and bad, you realize you can write jokes at the last second.

Trevor Noah 37:03 You can.

John Oliver 37:03 You can't fix part of the story quickly.

Trevor Noah 37:06 No.

Eugene 37:06 Mm.

John Oliver 37:06 Otherwise, you're in big, big, big trouble.

Trevor Noah 37:09 Were you shocked at how much fact-checking went into making an episode of The Daily Show?

John Oliver 37:14 Not really, 'cause I assumed, like, if to take big swings, you're gonna have to have a system that can back you up. Otherwise, you're just not gonna be able to do it for long-

Trevor Noah 37:26 Yeah.

Eugene 37:26 Oh, yeah

John Oliver 37:27 ... in a, a country as litigious as America. So I was, uh... I wasn't that surprised. I certainly loved it. I loved that part of the process, and I think what we've done on our show is extrapolate that out now.

Trevor Noah 37:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 37:38 So it's not just [laughs] Johns in a room basically just drowning in people's opinions, thinking, "I'll, I'll tell you how much of this you can actually say."

Trevor Noah 37:46 Yeah.

John Oliver 37:47 And then an hour later we'll have an answer for you. Now we have a much bigger scaled out research department now so that they can spend weeks before the writers get anywhere near a story to work out what, uh, what can you say, and then you can craft the story from those ingredients.

Trevor Noah 38:05 Hmm.

John Oliver 38:05 And then you can craft jokes from that story.

Trevor Noah 38:08 I've always wondered why, like, why you like stirring the shit that you like stirring. 'Cause I, just because you are a shit stirrer does not-

John Oliver 38:16 Yeah

Trevor Noah 38:16 ... necessarily mean that you choose to stir shit in every cup.

Eugene 38:19 Hmm.

John Oliver 38:20 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 38:20 Does that make sense?

John Oliver 38:20 Yeah.

Eugene 38:20 Why is it in a cup anyway?

Trevor Noah 38:22 Well, I feel like that's, like, more shit stirry.

John Oliver 38:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 38:24 Like where... If you're doing it in, like, a toilet, it's just weird.

Eugene 38:27 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 38:27 You know what I mean?

John Oliver 38:28 I, I do love-

Eugene 38:29 [laughs]

John Oliver 38:30 ... the feeling of trouble.

Trevor Noah 38:31 Yeah, you do, but a specific type of trouble is-

John Oliver 38:33 Yeah

Trevor Noah 38:33 ... what I've noticed.

John Oliver 38:34 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 38:34 Like, maybe it's just me, but you, you, you'll correct me if I'm wrong. When I, when I think of John Oliver, I go, like, political shit stirring. I'm like, a little bit, but not so much.

Eugene 38:42 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 38:43 But when you get into, like, corporate-

John Oliver 38:45 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 38:46 Yeah. You listen.

John Oliver 38:48 I j- I love it so much.

Eugene 38:49 You a guy who almost maybe became corporate. If you, if it wasn't for comedy, maybe you would've been in corporate, right?

John Oliver 38:53 No, I would not.

Eugene 38:54 Never, never.

John Oliver 38:54 Never. I, I couldn't survive in that world. I couldn't do it. That was not for me.

Eugene 39:00 What was the plan?

John Oliver 39:01 There was no real plan.

Trevor Noah 39:03 Did you study anything?

John Oliver 39:04 I studied English.

Trevor Noah 39:06 Wow, that's a waste.

Eugene 39:06 The language that you speak at home.

Trevor Noah 39:07 John.

John Oliver 39:08 Thank you.

Eugene 39:08 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 39:10 [laughs]

John Oliver 39:10 Thank you. And do I, do I not speak it beautifully?

Eugene 39:14 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 39:15 Can I tell you, you speak so well.

Eugene 39:17 It is.

John Oliver 39:17 Thank you.

Eugene 39:17 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 39:17 You speak so well.

John Oliver 39:18 Thank you.

Trevor Noah 39:18 Has anyone told you how articulate you are?

John Oliver 39:20 Thank you. Thank you.

Eugene 39:21 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 39:21 You speak very well, John. Very well. [laughs]

Eugene 39:25 [laughs]

John Oliver 39:26 That's what three years of higher education will give you. I didn't come in talking like this.

Trevor Noah 39:31 [laughs]

John Oliver 39:32 I left that way. Uh, no, I wanted... I started writing comedy, uh, at college, and then I did, uh, my first stand-up gig, and it was, I imagine how a drug addict [laughs] feels when they get their first taste of something which they know is now going to alter how they live the rest of their life. [upbeat music]

Trevor Noah 39:52 We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. [upbeat music] Do you remember your first joke on stage?

John Oliver 40:03 Yeah. Uh-

Trevor Noah 40:03 Or your first, like, bit that was, like, your...

John Oliver 40:07 I had a bit about driving theory tests, I think. I can't remember exactly what. I d- And about EasyJet at the time. Not great jokes, but I remember-

Trevor Noah 40:16 This was before EasyJet was...

John Oliver 40:18 It was early days of EasyJet.

Trevor Noah 40:20 Oh, wow. Isn't EasyJet back now with that thing? Is it, uh-

Eugene 40:23 It's Jet2.

Trevor Noah 40:24 Oh, Jet2 Holiday. Yeah, yeah. I'm-

John Oliver 40:25 Yeah, no. It's, so I-

Trevor Noah 40:26 Bad, bad

John Oliver 40:26 ... I can't remember

Trevor Noah 40:26 ... clearly the marketing didn't work on me.

John Oliver 40:28 It wasn't great-

Trevor Noah 40:28 [laughs]

John Oliver 40:28 ... but the process of the feeling of it-

Trevor Noah 40:31 Yeah

John Oliver 40:31 ... I knew. I was at college with Richard Ayoade. Do you know that guy?

Trevor Noah 40:34 Oh, yes, I do know him.

John Oliver 40:35 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 40:35 Yes, yes.

John Oliver 40:35 So we wrote-

Trevor Noah 40:36 Richard with the glasses-

John Oliver 40:37 Yes

Trevor Noah 40:37 ... with the hair.

John Oliver 40:37 Yes.

Trevor Noah 40:38 But he's in the movies now and stuff.

John Oliver 40:39 Yes.

Trevor Noah 40:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 40:39 We wrote, we wrote, uh, uh, at Footlights together, and we did a, a, a two-man show, and I remember walking off the stage for the first night that we put our own show on-

Trevor Noah 40:51 Yeah

John Oliver 40:51 ... and thinking, "I, I, I wanna do this. I don't know what that's gonna mean. I don't know where I'm gonna be able to do it."

Trevor Noah 40:57 That's the best feeling. Hmm.

John Oliver 40:57 But all of a sudden, my life became quite clear in terms of not-

Trevor Noah 41:03 Hmm

John Oliver 41:03 ... how it was gonna turn out-

Trevor Noah 41:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 41:05 ... but what I was gonna try and do.

Trevor Noah 41:06 Yeah.

John Oliver 41:06 And that's a huge gift, isn't it, in many ways?

Trevor Noah 41:08 Oh, no, it's the greatest gift of all.

Eugene 41:09 You find your calling.

John Oliver 41:09 I remember my dad, years, years later, um, saying, "Oh, I, I kn- I'm, I admire that you never gave up." And it only at that point occurred to me that at some point that would've been an option. It never even crossed my mind to give up, even when from the outside it must have looked like, this is not a, a dignified life that you're building for yourself here. But I was so happy in it, it never crossed my mind.

Trevor Noah 41:37 Hmm. Where did your funny come from in the family?

John Oliver 41:40 Uh, I don't, I mean, I don't know. Survival. You know, [laughs] it's the, it's, it's, there's a British-

Trevor Noah 41:44 Yeah, but, like, is your, is your dad, your mom, your grandfather, your... Like who-

John Oliver 41:46 Yeah, I

John Oliver 41:47 think so

Trevor Noah 41:47 ... who would you say you have the closest comedic-

John Oliver 41:48 Probably my dad's dad. But no, my, my family's from Liverpool, right? And so that is a city that's been through some shit.

Trevor Noah 41:54 Oh, okay, okay.

John Oliver 41:56 And that, uh, that its main processing technique was often comedy.

Trevor Noah 42:01 Yeah.

John Oliver 42:01 And my, my grandad was a really, really funny guy. A very odd man.

Trevor Noah 42:06 Okay.

John Oliver 42:07 And loved jokes.

Trevor Noah 42:08 I remember John Bishop explaining this to me. The-

John Oliver 42:10 Yes

Trevor Noah 42:10 ... Liver- Liverpool comedian

John Oliver 42:12 Yeah

Trevor Noah 42:12 ... he was like... I was like, "Why are you so..." And he, and he said, "Honestly," he said, "I'm not even the funniest person in this place."

John Oliver 42:17 For sure.

Trevor Noah 42:17 "I just do it professionally."

John Oliver 42:19 For sure.

Trevor Noah 42:20 And it's just, it's just a vibe of people... It- it's interesting you say that, because it almost feels like-

John Oliver 42:25 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 42:25 ... like the people of Liverpool, things, so many shit things happened to them that they were like, "We will exist in a world of shit-stirring f-

John Oliver 42:33 Yeah

Trevor Noah 42:33 ... in this world now."

John Oliver 42:34 Yeah.

Eugene 42:34 Mm.

Trevor Noah 42:34 Do you know what I mean?

Eugene 42:35 Mm, mm.

John Oliver 42:35 It's just how you survive. Gallows humor, right?

Trevor Noah 42:38 Oh, yeah.

John Oliver 42:39 So-

Trevor Noah 42:39 Okay

John Oliver 42:39 ... and, uh, so it's the only thing that's ever made sense for me. It's the only way I've ever processed the world, is through-

Trevor Noah 42:45 Ah

John Oliver 42:45 ... laughs. At his funeral, I did, uh, I was a-

Trevor Noah 42:49 Your granddad's funeral?

John Oliver 42:50 Yeah. He was... I wanted it to be funny-

Trevor Noah 42:52 Yeah

John Oliver 42:52 ... because it felt like for this, if this event isn't funny, this is no reflection of who he was. That in many ways, in my mind as a kid, he was the guy that taught me how to misbehave, 'cause he knew it would be funny. Like, uh, you- you're sitting at a table, and he's like saying, "Just bang your cutlery like this."

Trevor Noah 43:08 [laughs]

John Oliver 43:08 And like two seconds later I'm in trouble and he's laughing. You're like, "Oh, I like the sounds that came out of that mouth. I've cau- I've caused a big problem in this room, but this guy's just chuckling to himself. Oh, what, what, what do I need to do to get a little bit more of that?"

Trevor Noah 43:20 Mm-hmm. He was your first audience. I like this.

John Oliver 43:22 Yeah, he was... And you know what? The last time I saw him, I think I've told this story before, was, uh, he was dying in a, a, an old people's home, and my... He, he was definitely not gonna be around for long. And, uh, he, my dad left to get the car. He was on the ground floor, and so I just thought I could leave through the door, or I could, like, climb... There was, like, a little window into a hedge, and I thought, "Or I could just, like, climb out through the window and go through the hedge." And so I thought, "I'll just, I'll just do the hedge." So [laughs] I lift up the window, climb out, like scratching through into the car park, and the last thing I heard him say to me was, "You're an idiot."

Trevor Noah 43:56 [laughs]

Eugene 43:57 [laughs]

John Oliver 43:57 That was-

Trevor Noah 43:58 That's the last thing-

John Oliver 43:59 That's the last thing he said to me

Trevor Noah 44:00 ... your grandfather ever said to you

John Oliver 44:00 Those are the last things I heard from him, out of his mouth, was, "You're an idiot." I re- I, I remember, like, hearing it as I'm scratching through a hedge, going, "That went well."

Trevor Noah 44:09 [laughs]

Eugene 44:09 [laughs]

John Oliver 44:10 "I'm glad I did that. Option B was the right choice."

Trevor Noah 44:14 [laughs]

Eugene 44:14 [laughs]

John Oliver 44:14 You don't get, "You're an idiot" if you walk functionally through a door.

Trevor Noah 44:16 [laughs]

Eugene 44:16 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 44:16 Who was that? [laughs] Oh, man.

John Oliver 44:20 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 44:21 I love this for you. Like, it's just like, it's, it's, it's, it's a crazy journey for me, because, like, w- what I, what I've selfishly always, um, enjoyed about your career is I've always said to people, "You were the pioneer for my path." You know what I mean?

John Oliver 44:35 Mm.

Trevor Noah 44:35 So when I first came to the US, one thing that was made apparently clear to me was, "Hey, uh, y- you're nice and everything, but Americans don't like people with an accent-

John Oliver 44:47 Right

Trevor Noah 44:47 ... especially doing anything in and around their world.

Eugene 44:49 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 44:49 Just, uh-

John Oliver 44:50 Sure

Trevor Noah 44:50 ... keep it moving.

John Oliver 44:51 Mm.

Trevor Noah 44:51 Keep it moving.

Eugene 44:51 Let alone speaking about their politics-

Trevor Noah 44:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Eugene 44:53 ... because that's their life.

Trevor Noah 44:54 Keep it moving.

John Oliver 44:54 You can see why, though, right? 'Cause there-

Trevor Noah 44:55 Oh, completely

John Oliver 44:56 ... yeah, there is, like... It, it feels like you earn the right to criticize.

Trevor Noah 45:01 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 45:01 Right? And, and they, they can, they can be questioning, I think understandably, Americans think, "Where is this coming from?" And it's, it's a shi- it was a shift for me to go often from, "You, you do this, you do this," to, "We do this."

Trevor Noah 45:15 Oh, yeah, man, I noticed you started saying, "We do this."

John Oliver 45:16 We, because I'm an American now.

Trevor Noah 45:18 Yeah.

John Oliver 45:18 Right? Uh, and so, uh, I c- I, I play with you and we. [laughs] Uh, but there was at least a sense of ownership. And again, as a British person-

Trevor Noah 45:27 Mm

John Oliver 45:27 ... a sense of ownership of the country has a bit of an asterisk on it.

Trevor Noah 45:30 [laughs]

John Oliver 45:30 But, uh, it, it did feel like this is, this isn't coming from... I think there have been people who've come, like done a smash and grab in America, and there's-

Trevor Noah 45:39 Right

John Oliver 45:39 ... no real emotional investment-

Trevor Noah 45:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right

John Oliver 45:41 ... in it. Whereas that was not the case with me, and I don't think it was ever gonna be the case with you.

Trevor Noah 45:46 Yeah, but I, but I think at the time, the industry, this wasn't people.

John Oliver 45:49 Oh, oh, sure.

Trevor Noah 45:49 This was just the industry going, "Hey, it doesn't work. Don't even bother."

John Oliver 45:52 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 45:52 I remember one of my, one of my good friends, Neil Brennan, the comedian, he was, he said to me, he's like, "Just leave." We were in a, we were in a-

John Oliver 45:59 Oh

Trevor Noah 45:59 ... small little diner in Denver, Colorado. He had been performing at The Improv, I'd been performing at, like, a, like, the Happy Clap whatever, you know, like one of the second-

John Oliver 46:07 Yeah, sure

Trevor Noah 46:07 ... type clubs. And he was just like, "What are you doing here?" He said, "Just go home. Go home." I was like, "I'm doing comedy." He's like, "No, just, just..." He's like, "America won't give you... Just go home."

John Oliver 46:14 Yeah, I'm not sure that's true.

Trevor Noah 46:15 And I'll never for- yeah, but you say that.

Eugene 46:17 Mm.

Trevor Noah 46:17 But I will never forget when the switch flipped, and it almost happened at the same time for both of us. I had done, I think, two episodes of The Daily Show, just as, like, a pop-in. Contributor, even, not correspondent. I just contribute and I leave. Contribute and I leave.

John Oliver 46:34 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 46:35 And someone had asked me, "Would you do this full time?" And I was like, "No, there's no world where I would do this full time. I just can't see the possibility." And I was at home watching TV, and your show came on, and it was the first episode, and it was about India's elections.

John Oliver 46:53 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 46:54 And I, I remember sitting on the couch and I went, "Oh. Oh, yeah, I would... Oh, I would do... I'd-

John Oliver 47:01 Totally.

Trevor Noah 47:01 Okay, okay." 'Cause it was the first time I saw an American lens on the world-

John Oliver 47:06 Yes

Trevor Noah 47:07 ... not from an American-

Eugene 47:08 Mm

Trevor Noah 47:08 ... but including America.

John Oliver 47:09 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 47:09 I was like, "Oh."

Eugene 47:10 In America.

Trevor Noah 47:10 Yeah, I was like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I, okay, that's, that's a possibility." I was like, "Okay, I would, I would, I would do that."

John Oliver 47:18 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 47:18 And I genu- I genuinely think I wouldn't have gotten The Daily Show if it wasn't for you. Genuinely.

John Oliver 47:22 Maybe.

Trevor Noah 47:23 Uh, I promise you.

John Oliver 47:24 Really?

Trevor Noah 47:24 I'm willing to bet money.

John Oliver 47:26 Hm.

Trevor Noah 47:26 Six, how many months did you do it? Uh, g- guest hosting?

John Oliver 47:29 Uh, three. Just three months.

Trevor Noah 47:31 Three months.

John Oliver 47:31 Yeah, just a summer.

Trevor Noah 47:32 Just that three months alone?

John Oliver 47:33 I think maybe. I think there, I think there was real

John Oliver 47:36 panic about Jon ever leaving, and I think at least it showed that that staff was solid enough that somebody could do that job temporarily.

Trevor Noah 47:46 Yes.

John Oliver 47:46 I still don't think there was any confidence that somebody could do it forever.

Trevor Noah 47:50 Yes, yeah.

John Oliver 47:51 That, that, that-

Trevor Noah 47:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 47:51 ... like, someone could fill in for him in a panic. I don't think there was [laughs] any, any real institutional confidence at Comedy Central of, "Oh, great, so, uh, someone else can do it."

Trevor Noah 48:00 Yeah, no, no.

John Oliver 48:00 It still was very much-

Eugene 48:01 Mm

John Oliver 48:02 ... his thing.

Trevor Noah 48:03 Yeah, but you being successful even at HBO made people go, "Oh, there's a possibility."

John Oliver 48:07 That, I think that was different.

Trevor Noah 48:08 Do you get what I'm saying?

John Oliver 48:08 Yeah, because I think we, what we were trying to do was stretch the form a bit, and it took us a while, but I think what, that Indian election was such a gift for a first show, because to my mind, there was nothing more interesting- ... happening in the world that week than the Indian election. The largest exercise of democracy in human history, and it was nowhere on American television, which was just wildly insular. It felt nothing is happening that, in America, that was more interesting this week than what is about to happen in India. That was almost a gift. From there, we had to kinda get out of our system, that rhythm from The Daily Show where you're just-

Trevor Noah 48:47 Reacting

John Oliver 48:48 ... reacting.

Trevor Noah 48:48 Yeah, reacting.

John Oliver 48:49 And, uh, we did one show that wasn't very good, I remember, about, um, immigration early on, that felt like we'd done, like, a 10-minute headline that was really just, you coulda kinda done it on The Daily Show.

Trevor Noah 49:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 49:03 It was stuff that you'd already seen. It didn't feel good. Luckily, we had, I think, I, I think it's that I'd shot an interview with Stephen Hawking that we did after that.

Trevor Noah 49:12 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 49:12 And so that was the main thing that people thought about. For us, the real lesson that we learnt that day was that what we wanted our show to be about was showing people something they hadn't seen before.

Trevor Noah 49:26 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 49:26 Yeah. 'Cause it felt like then you're actually using the extra time that you got. Otherwise, it feels like cheating, as just doing one show a week-

Trevor Noah 49:32 Yeah, yeah

John Oliver 49:33 ... that you could've written in a day or two.

Trevor Noah 49:35 [laughs]

John Oliver 49:35 To be fair. Now, we, from that lesson on, we extrapolated our process out so that we're spending six weeks on each story.

Trevor Noah 49:44 Mm.

John Oliver 49:44 And you're just juggling them at the same time.

Trevor Noah 49:46 Yeah, yeah, just moving them around, and then choosing-

John Oliver 49:48 And you'll, and you can, you can force-feed any story that you like on people then. You can, like, you have a, you earn the right to have an audience that will actually sit through something that sounds unbelievably boring, like mobile home financing. Y- but the moment that you get into it, you realize how interesting everything is in... You know this.

Trevor Noah 50:08 Yeah.

John Oliver 50:08 Everything is interesting.

Trevor Noah 50:09 Everything is interesting.

John Oliver 50:09 Mm.

Trevor Noah 50:09 Everything is interesting if you know enough about it-

John Oliver 50:11 Yes

Trevor Noah 50:11 ... I find.

John Oliver 50:12 Exactly.

Trevor Noah 50:12 That's, that's literally what it is.

John Oliver 50:13 So you just need to give people enough information about it for them to be able to find it interesting, but that takes time. You need-

Trevor Noah 50:20 I would-

John Oliver 50:20 And commercial television, that is much, much harder. 'Cause you need, uh, it's hard-

Trevor Noah 50:24 You could do any ti- any, any duration-

John Oliver 50:26 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 50:27 You have, like, you have, like, a-

John Oliver 50:27 So that is a big difference, right?

Trevor Noah 50:29 Okay, yeah.

John Oliver 50:30 You, it's hard to hold people's attention. You take them on a long narrative story if you're having to say six, eight, nine minutes in, "We'll be right back," three minutes of Twix commercials-

Trevor Noah 50:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 50:42 ... and they're like, "I, I forget where I was."

Trevor Noah 50:44 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 50:45 So it's, that is why it's much easier for us to be able to do, like, 40-minute long stories that sound like they're just in one breath, because you can't leave.

Trevor Noah 50:54 I've, I've always loved watching it, thinking about how many enemies you make in-

John Oliver 50:59 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 50:59 Like, sometimes, I, I genuinely think to myself, I go, "Are there moments where John maybe can't get a loan, or maybe someone gives him a-

John Oliver 51:08 Mobile home loan

Trevor Noah 51:08 ... a less favorable..." No, because I, I think of, like-

John Oliver 51:11 Yeah

Trevor Noah 51:12 ... how many times have, has your show been sued?

John Oliver 51:14 Uh, we've-

Trevor Noah 51:14 Or-

John Oliver 51:14 ... been sued a bunch of,

John Oliver 51:16 uh, not, a lot of times. We've, uh, we, we've been threatened with lawsuits, um, huge amounts.

Trevor Noah 51:21 Okay, okay.

John Oliver 51:22 Actual number of lawsuits, uh, is n- less, is one, one handful, but we've, we haven't lost any. That's the key thing. I w- always, I always say to our audience, like, the-

Trevor Noah 51:31 Undefeated

John Oliver 51:32 ... that's the thing. We, like, it can be a fractious, albeit functional, relationship with our lawyers, but I think we have, like, a different view of their job. 'Cause I think what they think their job is is to stop us getting sued.

Trevor Noah 51:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 51:43 And I think their job is to make sure that when we get sued, we win, right? And that, that part of it is everything that I love. When you know you're in trouble, the company's angry with you, your own lawyers are angry with you, the only people that are excited are the people that you work with, and you think, like-

Trevor Noah 52:00 And the audience

John Oliver 52:00 ... and the audience. Yeah, the audience, 'cause they love.

Trevor Noah 52:02 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 52:02 Like, everyone loves watching a car crash.

Trevor Noah 52:04 Mm.

John Oliver 52:04 Right? And it's so much fun to be in that position, and it feels like, to me, because it's not commercial, because you have full freedom of speech-

Trevor Noah 52:15 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

John Oliver 52:16 ... as well, that you sh- it is incumbent upon you, if you're lucky enough to be in that position, to push it as hard as you can.

Trevor Noah 52:23 So then are you worried at all about all the mergers and stuff that are coming?

John Oliver 52:26 Oh, sure. But I mean, we've, this would be-

Trevor Noah 52:28 Because you, your show would be, what is, HBO's under Warner, so if Warner-

John Oliver 52:32 Yeah

Trevor Noah 52:32 ... gets sold-

John Oliver 52:33 Yep

Trevor Noah 52:33 ... you would, if it was Netflix, you'd be under Netflix-

John Oliver 52:35 Yep

Trevor Noah 52:35 ... technically, or if it was Paramount-

John Oliver 52:37 Paramount, we'd be under Paramount

Trevor Noah 52:37 ... you'd be under Paramount.

John Oliver 52:37 If it was Comcast, we'd be under Comcast.

Trevor Noah 52:38 And then they might break it up as well, and then-

John Oliver 52:40 Of course

Trevor Noah 52:40 ... everything could go everywhere.

John Oliver 52:41 Who knows? And it'll be, like, tied up in the courts. But it, this would not be our first merger. Right, with this would be our-

Trevor Noah 52:46 Oh, you were around for AT&T?

John Oliver 52:47 This would be our third merger.

Trevor Noah 52:49 How many w- have you been around for?

John Oliver 52:51 We were around for, f- first, uh, we were taken over, Time Warner was taken over by AT&T.

Trevor Noah 52:56 Okay.

John Oliver 52:56 Then AT&T, uh, was, uh, taken over by, uh, Warner Bros. Discovery.

Trevor Noah 53:02 Yeah.

John Oliver 53:02 And now Warner Bros. Discovery is gonna be taken over by company, question mark. So we'll see.

Trevor Noah 53:08 Mm. What do you think of the merger?

John Oliver 53:10 I mean,

John Oliver 53:11 um, I think mergers are generally bad. I think you, you're-

Trevor Noah 53:13 My man

John Oliver 53:13 ... always hoping for the least bad option.

Trevor Noah 53:16 Yeah.

John Oliver 53:16 And I think that, like, the key thing for us is to act with enough [laughs] d- enough, like, aggression or confidence. Like, I would, I will act assuming nothing is gonna happen. We're not gonna change, right? I think we've been on, we've been behaving the way we've been behaving-

Trevor Noah 53:35 Yeah

John Oliver 53:36 ... for long enough that you can't really reason with us.

Trevor Noah 53:40 [laughs]

John Oliver 53:40 So there's no point in doing that.

Trevor Noah 53:44 It's unseemly.

John Oliver 53:44 There's no, yeah, you're not gonna be able-

Trevor Noah 53:45 You know what I just pictured? Like, you and your team are like that, like, that village. You, you know those, those stories that they would talk about? Like, e- every empire had it.

John Oliver 53:52 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 53:53 Whether it was the Romans or the Mongols or whoever it was, and there would always be this one village-

John Oliver 53:56 Chipping Norton

Trevor Noah 53:57 ... where they went, [laughs] they went, "You know what?"

John Oliver 53:59 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 54:00 "We've technically conquered this whole area."

John Oliver 54:01 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 54:02 "Just leave them."

John Oliver 54:03 Oh.

Trevor Noah 54:03 "Just, just leave them."

John Oliver 54:04 Absolutely.

Trevor Noah 54:04 "Just let them do their thing because-"

John Oliver 54:05 Yeah, they're just, it's not worth it. That's, you wanna be that village. You wanna be that village so unreasonable that gigantic corporate armies just go, "Just leave them alone." That's all you want. Be enough trouble that you're too much trouble-

Trevor Noah 54:19 [laughs]

John Oliver 54:20 ... to deal with Well, I mean, again, it's least bad, right? There's no, it's not like there's good options, like, as, as played out during mergers. Like, you know these things come with cuts

Trevor Noah 54:30 I have yet to see a merger that has done well for the whole th- you know what I mean? Like-

John Oliver 54:34 Yeah

Trevor Noah 54:35 ... it's just almost, it's almost like the only mergers that do well are outliers. Almost every merger doesn't do well.

John Oliver 54:40 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 54:40 I don't understand why mergers are still a popular thing.

John Oliver 54:42 Yeah. Uh, I mean, it's, it, it's going to get tied up in courts, because you can't really... Th- you, there are going to be question marks on all of this, right? Be- it, 'cause it's very hard to justify this legally.

Trevor Noah 54:55 Yeah.

John Oliver 54:55 Now, whether that makes it impossible for it to happen, that's an open question.

Trevor Noah 54:59 Yeah.

John Oliver 54:59 But again, you can't waste time worrying about something that you're not gonna listen to anyway, [laughs] right? It feels like they, we- we're just gonna do what we do. They're gonna, whoever they are, is gonna have to realize either you ignore us like that irritating-

Trevor Noah 55:13 Yeah, yeah

John Oliver 55:13 ... village, or you're gonna have to take us around the back of the woodshed.

Trevor Noah 55:16 Do you miss the stand-up that you used to do? Because you-

John Oliver 55:18 Oh, I do. I love it so much.

Trevor Noah 55:20 You, you know, one of my favorite

Trevor Noah 55:22 jokes ever is a joke of yours that I never heard you tell, that someone told me you told.

John Oliver 55:28 Uh-oh.

Trevor Noah 55:28 It was your R. Kelly joke.

John Oliver 55:30 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 55:31 The ignition joke.

John Oliver 55:32 Oh, yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:32 Do you remember that?

John Oliver 55:33 Yeah. What was that?

Trevor Noah 55:34 So the jo- it's crazy that I remember it. It's just one of my favorite jokes ever.

John Oliver 55:37 I can't remember this.

Trevor Noah 55:37 So it was, it was, uh, the John Oliver joke, and the joke was, um, it was basically you saying, um, "I hate how my brain chooses what it wants to remember and what it doesn't want..." And I'm paraphrasing everything here.

John Oliver 55:51 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 55:51 But it was basically, the premise was, "I hate how my brain chooses what it wants to remember and doesn't allow me to choose what I want to remember."

John Oliver 55:57 Mm.

Trevor Noah 55:57 "Because there's very important things that I want to remember in the world, you know, like, uh, the capital of this place, or the laws-"

John Oliver 56:02 Uh-huh

Trevor Noah 56:02 "... and da, da, da of this place. But instead, my brain is filled with random things." Like, so for instance, um, I went to a CPR class, and I learned how to do CPR. Like, they taught me how to do CPR, and this, th- th- there's very specific steps that you have to do, right? Uh, I also-

Eugene 56:15 Is it coming back to you?

Trevor Noah 56:15 ... heard R. Kelly's, um-

Eugene 56:17 Ignition

Trevor Noah 56:17 ... Ignition song. Which I know all the words to. He's like, he, and John was like, "I've never sat down and I've l- never learned the words."

Eugene 56:24 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 56:24 "I've never tried to remember the words, but I know them all. It's the remix to Ignition."

John Oliver 56:28 How did you freshen up the CPR?

Trevor Noah 56:28 Then he's like, "When I was at the CPR class-"

Eugene 56:30 [laughs]

John Oliver 56:30 Yeah

Trevor Noah 56:30 ... they said to me, they were like, "The CPR technique, the rhythm of it, is the same as-"

John Oliver 56:34 Yeah

Trevor Noah 56:34 ... "the, the rhythm of Ignition."

Eugene 56:36 Ignition.

Trevor Noah 56:36 Yeah.

John Oliver 56:37 So-

Trevor Noah 56:37 "So what you're doing is, 'It's the remix to Ignition.' H- h-," like that's what you gotta be pumping to. And then John was like, "But now I'm afraid that my brain will screw me up. I'm gonna be on a plane one day, and it'll be like, 'Oh, my God, someone's having a heart attack. Someone, can somebody come?'" And then John's gonna come in there, and he'll be like, "Ah, I forgot the CPR." But he's like, "It's the remix to Ignition." [laughs]

Eugene 56:55 [laughs]

John Oliver 56:56 Here's the, here's, here's the amazing thing. I don't remember any part of that joke at all, but I do remember-

Eugene 57:01 The lyrics to Ignition

John Oliver 57:02 ... all the lyrics to Ignition by R. Kelly.

Trevor Noah 57:03 [laughs]

Eugene 57:05 [laughs]

John Oliver 57:05 So that, I don't know if that's my joke or not, but the premise stands up. R. Kelly, by the way, did Harrods screw him over for any purchases?

Eugene 57:13 [laughs] They should have.

Trevor Noah 57:14 Maybe that's their origin story. Maybe that's the, the beginning of it all, right?

Eugene 57:18 They should have.

Trevor Noah 57:18 Is Harrods screws you over.

Eugene 57:19 There's one of those, they should've screwed-

John Oliver 57:20 R. Kelly-

Eugene 57:20 ... his red card

John Oliver 57:21 ... like Michael Jackson, is really the victim when it comes to Harrods.

Trevor Noah 57:24 [laughs]

Eugene 57:25 Leave the other women at the penthouse. Those two.

Trevor Noah 57:29 But you, you, I mean, you-

John Oliver 57:30 Why can't the al-Fayed family catch a break?

Trevor Noah 57:32 [laughs]

Eugene 57:36 [laughs]

John Oliver 57:36 These-

Trevor Noah 57:36 No, because you, you-

Eugene 57:37 You quote the words of your kind father

Trevor Noah 57:37 ... you love, you love stand-up. I'm assuming you still love stand-up, right?

John Oliver 57:40 Yeah, yeah, I still do stand-up. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 57:41 No, but you, and you love it. Like, you-

John Oliver 57:43 I love it so much. It's still, like, it c- it calms me down like nothing else. I'll, I'll do it-

Trevor Noah 57:47 Wait, it calms you down?

John Oliver 57:48 You... Trevor, I will take that surprise from anyone but you.

Trevor Noah 57:52 No, no, no. What, no-

John Oliver 57:53 You know that, right?

Trevor Noah 57:53 ... it calms you down?

John Oliver 57:55 Yeah, it clears your head.

Trevor Noah 57:55 No, this is c- fully surprised.

John Oliver 57:56 Really?

Trevor Noah 57:57 Fully surprised.

John Oliver 57:57 You don't find it that way, too?

Trevor Noah 57:59 Calming?

John Oliver 57:59 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 58:00 Uh, invigorating, I would say yes.

John Oliver 58:02 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 58:02 Calming, no. What, Eugene?

Eugene 58:04 Hmm?

Trevor Noah 58:05 What do you f- calming and v- what, which word would you use for stand-up?

Eugene 58:08 Avoiding.

Trevor Noah 58:08 [laughs]

John Oliver 58:09 Avoiding? Sure.

Trevor Noah 58:12 But how does stand-up make you feel?

Eugene 58:13 Oh, yeah.

Eugene 58:14 Um, you know, every time I do stand-up, I'm like, "Thank God I'm, I'm naturally good at it, but I don't rely on it."

Trevor Noah 58:22 [laughs] Okay. Because?

Eugene 58:24 Because I'd be miserable.

Trevor Noah 58:27 Why?

John Oliver 58:27 Doing what?

Eugene 58:27 If, if it's all I had to do, I would die. So when I do it, I'm going, "I'm not gonna suck. I know that."

John Oliver 58:34 Mm-hmm.

Eugene 58:34 "So thank God for that part."

John Oliver 58:35 Okay.

Eugene 58:36 But I'm like, "Thank God I don't have to come back here every day and do this thing to survive."

Trevor Noah 58:39 Huh.

John Oliver 58:40 Ah.

Trevor Noah 58:41 So you s- that's why I think every comedian has a different, like, I don't-

Eugene 58:43 I don't hate it

Trevor Noah 58:44 ... calm I don't get, John.

Eugene 58:45 No. And I don't get nervous. So when-

John Oliver 58:48 'Cause when you first said, "Thank goodness I'm so preternaturally talented at this-"

Eugene 58:52 Yeah

John Oliver 58:52 ... you sounded like Cristiano Ronaldo at that point.

Eugene 58:55 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 58:55 No, no, no.

John Oliver 58:55 He wouldn't even get the reference-

Trevor Noah 58:56 [laughs]

John Oliver 58:56 ... or he'll think he's just some kind of puppet from the CIA.

Trevor Noah 58:58 No, no, no.

John Oliver 58:59 But-

Trevor Noah 58:59 Oh, no, no. Eugene knows everyone in football just to troll people who know football.

John Oliver 59:04 I, I, where I, where I understand is that, like-

Eugene 59:07 Mm

John Oliver 59:07 ... the, the grind of stand, especially when you're starting off, right, where it is such a slog just to get by.

Eugene 59:13 Mm.

John Oliver 59:13 I am very grateful that I don't have to do that exclusively.

Eugene 59:19 Mm.

John Oliver 59:19 But I would never not wanna do it at all.

Eugene 59:23 Yes.

Trevor Noah 59:24 Yeah, but I, but I, but I'm saying-

Eugene 59:25 Because you, you, English summed it up nicely.

John Oliver 59:27 [laughs]

Eugene 59:27 Although three years.

Trevor Noah 59:28 That's three years.

Eugene 59:29 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 59:29 Three years have paid off.

Eugene 59:30 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 59:31 No, but calm I, yeah, calm I don't get, genuinely.

John Oliver 59:33 Yeah.

Eugene 59:33 So for you, it's calming? You-

John Oliver 59:34 I find it r- yeah, it clears my head-

Eugene 59:36 Which part?

John Oliver 59:36 ... like nothing else. I c- I think just, like, the process of it, the fact it's, you know, it, the, our, our, our show is so collaborative. There are so many moving parts. There is a simplicity, a directness to stand-up-

Trevor Noah 59:49 Yeah

John Oliver 59:49 ... that you can't really replicate. Um, it's just, it's a, like, it's a fundamentally selfish exercise, right? And there's-

Trevor Noah 59:59 Mm

John Oliver 1:00:00 ... there's something I, I love about the, the social side of it, the fact that you're not socializing. Like, you can be-

Eugene 1:00:07 Yeah, as long as there's food

John Oliver 1:00:07 ... an isolated person among-

Eugene 1:00:08 Oh

John Oliver 1:00:09 ... a lot of people.

Eugene 1:00:10 Okay, okay.

John Oliver 1:00:10 Like, you can, you're with a lot of people, but you're alone.

Trevor Noah 1:00:14 Yeah.

Eugene 1:00:14 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 1:00:14 Like, you're, there's a purpose to your day. You can structure everything around that.

Eugene 1:00:19 See that?

Trevor Noah 1:00:20 What was your-

John Oliver 1:00:20 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:00:20 ... what, what is your stand-up day? What's your-

John Oliver 1:00:22 Well, it depend, like, h- here I get to do once a month at The Beacon with Seth at the moment.

Trevor Noah 1:00:26 Okay. No, but I'm saying, like, what's a-

John Oliver 1:00:28 So that's, so that's-

Trevor Noah 1:00:28 ... just a stand-up day for you

John Oliver 1:00:29 ... like, if I'm, if I'm on the road-

Trevor Noah 1:00:31 What would you do?

John Oliver 1:00:32 I guess-

Trevor Noah 1:00:32 From, from the morning, from the time you wake up

John Oliver 1:00:34 If w-

Trevor Noah 1:00:34 What time do you wake up, and then what's your day before you go on stage?

John Oliver 1:00:37 Well, you see, it, it changed-

Trevor Noah 1:00:39 Yeah

John Oliver 1:00:39 ... over the year because I had kids, so my body clock is not what it was. I used to have the stand-up body clock, where I could happily just sleep past noon and do th- now I, now I'm stuck between two worlds, 'cause my body wants to get up at 6:00 when my kids are getting up, [laughs] when they are. So I'm kind of up then. So for me, doing stand-up right now, what I'm really... Because I'm not kind of, I'm not in that regular routine, it's kind of trying to break the routine of the way my mind works-

Trevor Noah 1:01:13 Okay

John Oliver 1:01:13 ... for writing it.

Trevor Noah 1:01:14 All right. Okay. Got it

John Oliver 1:01:15 ... the show and structuring the show, and getting it-

Trevor Noah 1:01:17 It's a vacation

John Oliver 1:01:17 ... back into, so exactly. So it's-

Trevor Noah 1:01:19 It's a vacation

John Oliver 1:01:19 ... it's to, it's trying to think about jokes in the stand-up form, which, you know, is different, right?

Trevor Noah 1:01:26 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:01:26 It's different.

Trevor Noah 1:01:27 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:01:27 There are, there are things that you, jokes you would love on The Daily Show that you know would not work.

Trevor Noah 1:01:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

John Oliver 1:01:31 And similarly, stand-up jokes that wouldn't work in the form-

Trevor Noah 1:01:34 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 1:01:34 ... of The Daily Show. So yeah, it, it's, it's really just about trying to keep my love for stand-up alive, despite the fact I don't get to do it enough.

Trevor Noah 1:01:44 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:01:44 Yeah. I did it a whole bunch during the strike, just because it was the best way to-

Trevor Noah 1:01:48 Oh, yeah, there was, there was like, now you're off the show, and now you can go out there, and you can do something.

John Oliver 1:01:51 Yeah, so I just scrambled a whole bunch of dates and did a lot of... That was the most I've done it. So, uh, for a few months I was out constantly, 'cause it felt like it was the only way that I could, you know, help-

Trevor Noah 1:02:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 1:02:02 ... the staff paper, but also just the only way that it was gonna stop my head from exploding.

Trevor Noah 1:02:06 Are your kids funny?

John Oliver 1:02:07 Yes, they are, thank goodness.

Trevor Noah 1:02:10 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:02:10 That, God, that would be hard.

Trevor Noah 1:02:11 Ronaldo.

John Oliver 1:02:13 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:02:14 [laughs] Do you remember when they asked Cristiano Ronaldo, they're like, um, "Your son's really good at foot- Do you think he'll be as good as you?" And he was like, "No."

John Oliver 1:02:21 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:02:21 He's like, "No, I don't think he'll ever be as good as me."

John Oliver 1:02:23 No.

Eugene 1:02:23 Real struggle.

Trevor Noah 1:02:24 He's like, "He'll never be as good as me. He's not focused."

John Oliver 1:02:26 Oh, no.

Trevor Noah 1:02:26 "He drinks Coca-Cola."

John Oliver 1:02:27 That's-

Trevor Noah 1:02:27 "He won't be as..." He's just like full... I was like, "Yo, bruh." Not even like a, "Yeah, he has it in him."

John Oliver 1:02:31 No.

Trevor Noah 1:02:31 He's like, "Nah, bruh." He's like, "This kid, nah, he doesn't have it in him to be the best."

John Oliver 1:02:35 Just brutal.

Eugene 1:02:35 Yeah, but at least he didn't lie.

Trevor Noah 1:02:37 Yeah. C-

Eugene 1:02:37 We have one kid that's been lied to and is in the NBA now.

Trevor Noah 1:02:41 Wow.

John Oliver 1:02:42 Who, who are we talking about?

Trevor Noah 1:02:44 Wow.

Eugene 1:02:44 Who are we talking about, Trevor?

Trevor Noah 1:02:45 Who are we talking about?

Eugene 1:02:46 Because you have residency here.

Trevor Noah 1:02:47 Who are we talking about?

Eugene 1:02:48 Oh.

Trevor Noah 1:02:48 I'm not gonna engage in your shit-stirring-ness at all.

Eugene 1:02:51 In a cup?

Trevor Noah 1:02:52 At all.

Eugene 1:02:53 Not even in a plastic cup?

Trevor Noah 1:02:54 At all.

Eugene 1:02:55 Shit-stirring in a plastic cup?

Trevor Noah 1:02:56 At-

Eugene 1:02:57 Not even ceramic

Trevor Noah 1:02:58 ... at all.

Eugene 1:02:58 Just plastic cup.

Trevor Noah 1:02:59 No chance.

Eugene 1:02:59 With a wooden spoon.

Trevor Noah 1:03:00 Zero.

Eugene 1:03:01 Not even-

Trevor Noah 1:03:02 Nada.

John Oliver 1:03:02 Are you trying to bring Trevor into a high-profile NBA beef?

Trevor Noah 1:03:06 This, this guy's trying to bring me into beefs. That's what Eugene tries to do.

John Oliver 1:03:08 You're trying to suck him all the way into a beef.

Trevor Noah 1:03:10 This guy's trying to bring me into beefs.

Eugene 1:03:11 I don't like the way you said suck him.

Trevor Noah 1:03:13 [laughs]

Eugene 1:03:14 It was-

Trevor Noah 1:03:14 Suck him into.

John Oliver 1:03:15 Into.

Eugene 1:03:16 Yeah, but that's what stuck out-

John Oliver 1:03:17 Suck him into

Eugene 1:03:17 ... 'cause, say it again.

John Oliver 1:03:19 Suck him into.

Eugene 1:03:19 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:03:19 But your suck him-

Eugene 1:03:20 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:03:20 Your suck him is strong. I am not gonna lie.

John Oliver 1:03:22 [laughs] That, it felt, that felt, so it felt like there was suction involved there.

Trevor Noah 1:03:26 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:03:26 That felt like a vacuum you were trying to like-

Trevor Noah 1:03:27 Your suck him, your suck him is strong. I will say that.

John Oliver 1:03:29 Mm-hmm.

Eugene 1:03:29 And after you said that, I just heard, "This is the remix to Ignition, hard and straight out the kitchen."

Trevor Noah 1:03:35 Oh, man.

John Oliver 1:03:35 Mama, what a song.

Trevor Noah 1:03:36 By the way, by the way-

Eugene 1:03:37 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:03:38 ... is Daniel Kitson gonna come do more comedy on this, like-

John Oliver 1:03:41 I hope so. I hope so. Yeah, I mean, he's the greatest-

Eugene 1:03:44 That's one of your favorite comedians, huh?

John Oliver 1:03:45 Uh, oh, yeah?

Eugene 1:03:45 I heard his name from you for the first time.

Trevor Noah 1:03:47 He, he's, you guys, you guys are very close friends.

John Oliver 1:03:50 Where did you see him? Where'd you see him? He was my best man at my wedding. Yeah, he's my best friend.

Trevor Noah 1:03:51 Let me, so you know what's funny, is like, I feel like you and Daniel have a relationship like me and Eugene, where-

Eugene 1:03:56 We have a relationship?

Trevor Noah 1:03:58 This is what I'm talking about. See? I love it. See what you just did there? So like, it's where, where two people meet. You're similar, but you're not the same. You have, like, a comedic undercurrent that connects you.

John Oliver 1:04:08 Mm-hmm. Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:04:08 When I met Daniel, I felt like I knew him because of you.

John Oliver 1:04:11 [laughs]

Eugene 1:04:12 Mm.

John Oliver 1:04:12 Yeah. Right.

Trevor Noah 1:04:12 Daniel Kitson is, in my opinion-

Eugene 1:04:14 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:04:14 ... the greatest comedian that most people do not know. But if you know comedy, you, he, he has to be in, like, your top five.

John Oliver 1:04:21 Yeah, he's very good.

Trevor Noah 1:04:23 That-

John Oliver 1:04:23 Where did you see him?

Trevor Noah 1:04:24 Everywhere I could.

Eugene 1:04:25 Huh.

Trevor Noah 1:04:25 Everywhere I could. Uh, Australia.

John Oliver 1:04:27 Oh, sure. Of course.

Trevor Noah 1:04:28 Yeah, yeah. Uh, Melbourne.

John Oliver 1:04:30 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:04:30 Um, uh, Edinburgh.

Eugene 1:04:30 Is the guy who loves late shows?

Trevor Noah 1:04:32 He, he, yeah, but again, the myth around him is people... I'm, I don't know if you've heard any of these. People will be like, "Oh, the Daniel Kitson, he does shows at 12:01 or 11:59 because he likes-

John Oliver 1:04:46 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:04:46 ... how the, how the..."

Eugene 1:04:46 Seances.

Trevor Noah 1:04:46 Yeah, and you're like, "Wait, wait." They're like, "He does a show at 12:03 midnight." And, and you're like, and I heard all these myths about him.

Eugene 1:04:53 Yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:04:54 Or he only does a show at 1:00 PM because he wants real comedy fan. And then I met him, and I was like, "Yo, man, I have to ask you about some of these myths. I'm sorry." And then Daniel was just like, he's like, "Oh, I, I put the show on at 12:03 because then it's the next day. Otherwise, if you put it on at midnight, it screws up most booking systems." So he's like, "That's why I did that."

John Oliver 1:05:11 Yeah, it, there's much more practical things.

Trevor Noah 1:05:12 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:05:12 I think, I think there's-

Trevor Noah 1:05:13 Mm.

John Oliver 1:05:13 It's a bit of a hangover from the fact that when he won the Perrier Award, you know, the big award in-

Trevor Noah 1:05:18 In Edinburgh

John Oliver 1:05:18 ... Edinburgh, I think that that came with-

Eugene 1:05:21 Like the Ballon d'Or of-

Trevor Noah 1:05:22 Yeah, it is

John Oliver 1:05:22 ... the Ba- That's right. See? Yeah. It's the Ballon d'Or of comedy.

Trevor Noah 1:05:25 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:05:25 Right? In that I imagine you think you have to pay for it somehow.

Trevor Noah 1:05:29 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:05:29 Is that right?

Trevor Noah 1:05:30 Yep.

John Oliver 1:05:30 Yeah. [laughs]

Eugene 1:05:32 If Coptic has their way.

John Oliver 1:05:33 Yeah, when, when he won that, all of a sudden he was finding there were people coming to his shows that he didn't necessarily want there.

Trevor Noah 1:05:39 Oh.

John Oliver 1:05:40 He didn't want-

Eugene 1:05:42 The commercial success

John Oliver 1:05:42 ... that, well, he did, no, yeah, he wanted, he wanted to do his show the way he wanted to do it. He didn't want people there who he didn't want-

Trevor Noah 1:05:50 Hmm

John Oliver 1:05:50 ... in his audience.

Trevor Noah 1:05:53 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This makes complete sense.

John Oliver 1:05:53 And so he needed to get rid of some of that by making it more difficult-

Eugene 1:05:58 For them to watch him

John Oliver 1:05:59 ... than it necessarily needed to be to come.

Eugene 1:06:02 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 1:06:02 So it was a filtering system, and it worked because the Perrier back then, it was such a gravitational force-

Trevor Noah 1:06:09 Yeah, it was huge

John Oliver 1:06:10 ... as an award.

Trevor Noah 1:06:10 It was huge.

John Oliver 1:06:11 All of a sudden you are plunged into a certain kind of career, and he did not want that. So that came with a need to do things his own way.

Trevor Noah 1:06:20 Yeah, but the fact that he chose that-

John Oliver 1:06:22 He'd had gone nuts

Trevor Noah 1:06:22 ... that's, that's what I feel like with you in some ways, is like you-

John Oliver 1:06:25 I don't think I had the choice, though

Trevor Noah 1:06:27 ... no, you have this, no, but you have this thing where, how can I put it? So some people- Are famous because of what they do, and they love that fame.

Eugene 1:06:38 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:06:38 Oof.

Trevor Noah 1:06:39 Right?

Eugene 1:06:39 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 1:06:39 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:06:39 And then there are other people who have jobs that are just attached to fame-

Eugene 1:06:45 Fame. Mm-hmm

Trevor Noah 1:06:45 ... and if they could, they would-

John Oliver 1:06:46 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:06:46 ... slice that out of their lives.

John Oliver 1:06:48 Oh, yeah. For sure.

Trevor Noah 1:06:48 That's how I feel about you.

John Oliver 1:06:49 Oh, for sure.

Eugene 1:06:49 Mm.

John Oliver 1:06:50 Yeah, I don't want a piece of that.

Trevor Noah 1:06:50 Like, you, you have a very, like, um, even if, even if you win an award, you have a very, like, "Blah." There's like a, there's a, there's a-

John Oliver 1:06:55 I cannot wait to get off, because it's the weirdest place to be, and it's not a funny place to be, so I cannot wait. The only thing I like is when they play you off.

Eugene 1:07:06 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:07:06 I don't, I lo- I love the feeling of being played off-

Eugene 1:07:09 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:07:09 ... an award ceremony. So the music, I love it so much.

Eugene 1:07:13 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:07:13 The thing that I, I just, it's just, it's such an absurd situation to have. [laughs]

Eugene 1:07:17 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:07:17 To be interrupted by an orchestra. It's just, I love it.

Trevor Noah 1:07:21 But wait, okay, but help me, help me understand then.

Eugene 1:07:23 Oh.

Trevor Noah 1:07:23 What,

Trevor Noah 1:07:24 what is it about... 'Cause everyone has a different reason, that's why I'm interested. What is it about the fame or the spotlight or the anything that just, like, makes you-

John Oliver 1:07:35 I don't like it

Trevor Noah 1:07:35 ... just a little-

Eugene 1:07:36 Mm.

John Oliver 1:07:36 I don't like it.

Eugene 1:07:37 You're done with the glam.

Trevor Noah 1:07:37 Even now, look at your body.

John Oliver 1:07:38 I don't like it.

Trevor Noah 1:07:38 Even now, you, you just-

John Oliver 1:07:38 Yeah, I don't like it. I, it's not, I, uh, I don't like... I, I'm very conscious of the fact that because, be- because our show has become well known-

Trevor Noah 1:07:50 Yeah

John Oliver 1:07:50 ... I am the face of that show.

Trevor Noah 1:07:52 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:07:53 And so there are things that you can do with that in terms of protecting your ability to say what you want.

Trevor Noah 1:07:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 1:07:59 To not conform to a corporation who employs you.

Trevor Noah 1:08:01 Yeah, totally.

John Oliver 1:08:02 Uh, to go, yeah, you can do whatever you want. So tho- tho- the, the value of it is extreme there. The, uh-

Trevor Noah 1:08:11 Mm

John Oliver 1:08:11 ... that's the utility-

Trevor Noah 1:08:12 Mm

John Oliver 1:08:12 ... of fame, as you, as you put it, is that you can do what you want in your show. Everything else around it, I, it is not for me. I d- I don't feel, have any kind of real connection-

Eugene 1:08:22 But I think that's, that's-

John Oliver 1:08:22 ... connection to it at all

Eugene 1:08:23 ... that's the comic's curse, right? You want people to love you, but you want them to love you at your own terms.

Trevor Noah 1:08:28 Or you want them to love what you do, I would even say.

Eugene 1:08:30 Yeah, but they have to love you.

Trevor Noah 1:08:31 To a man-

Eugene 1:08:31 Because there's nothing else to distract them-

John Oliver 1:08:33 No, but you don't want-

Eugene 1:08:33 ... from you

John Oliver 1:08:34 ... but they, feels like it's two different... Like, I was talking to, there's a, a little girl in my, um, uh-

Eugene 1:08:39 The remix crew ignition

John Oliver 1:08:39 ... my kids', in my kids' class. [laughs]

Eugene 1:08:41 And R. Kelly are getting closer-

John Oliver 1:08:42 No, no

Eugene 1:08:42 ... and closer with the same parallel soul.

Trevor Noah 1:08:45 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:08:46 [laughs] She was, she was, uh, uh, she was, she's at my kids' school, and she was, uh, I think that would, uh, at the start of a season, uh, we d- had, like, pictures, or we had posters on the subway. And so she was very confused about, like, "Why is there a picture of you on the subway?"

Trevor Noah 1:09:01 That's hilarious.

John Oliver 1:09:02 And I, and so I was trying to explain to her, "Oh, I just do, uh, I, I just do a show, and so they're trying to advertise that show." And that, she went, "I don't know what that means." Went, "Oh, I just, uh, I j- I do, I do a TV show, and so, uh, we need people to know about it." And so then she said, "Are you famous?" Went, "I don't think I'm famous, 'cause you're asking me this question. [laughs] So I don't think I'm, I, I, I don't... Like, the people that wa- there's a f- uh, some people watch the show."

Trevor Noah 1:09:29 Mm.

John Oliver 1:09:29 "Most people don't, so those people do know me. No one else knows. Uh, and you, you don't need to... You know me, right? You know me as Marzi's dad, so there's nothing, you don't need to worry about this." And she said, "I'm not worried about this at all." [laughs]

Eugene 1:09:41 She's worried about Marzi.

John Oliver 1:09:42 Like, she's like, "I don't know what's happening to you right now."

Trevor Noah 1:09:45 [laughs]

Eugene 1:09:46 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:09:46 "I just asked why is there a picture. You're having an existential crisis in front of you."

Eugene 1:09:51 You're having a meltdown in front of me.

John Oliver 1:09:52 "I'm six years old. How am I the mature person here?"

Trevor Noah 1:09:57 [laughs]

Eugene 1:09:59 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:09:59 "I just asked."

John Oliver 1:10:01 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:10:01 Oh, man.

Eugene 1:10:02 Have, have you had the fame, uh, conversation with your kids? Do your kids know how famous you are?

John Oliver 1:10:06 No, I w- initially-

Eugene 1:10:07 How old are your kids now?

John Oliver 1:10:07 Initially I didn't. They're 10 and seven now.

Eugene 1:10:09 Okay.

John Oliver 1:10:10 Initially I didn't, because there's no need to.

Eugene 1:10:12 Mm.

John Oliver 1:10:12 Right? And so I would, if I just ran into people in the street, uh, like, I, they would say, "Who's that?" And I would say, "Oh, that's just a friend."

Eugene 1:10:19 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:10:19 Like after, after some of the time.

Trevor Noah 1:10:20 It works itself-

John Oliver 1:10:20 Then you realize, well, [laughs] hold on-

Eugene 1:10:22 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 1:10:22 ... New York, what a friendly city. Everyone says hello. [laughs]

Eugene 1:10:25 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:10:25 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:10:25 Actually, that's not the city that you live in. So then I, and I didn't wanna lie to them, right? I didn't want kids at school to know things they didn't.

Eugene 1:10:34 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:10:35 Ah.

John Oliver 1:10:35 That was the problem, when you realize, "Oh, I think there are other kids that know." [laughs]

Eugene 1:10:39 That have figured it out.

John Oliver 1:10:39 Yeah, have figured it out.

Eugene 1:10:40 Yeah, the jig is up.

John Oliver 1:10:41 And, and, uh, and you feel like something is-

Eugene 1:10:42 Your kids are the only ones who don't

John Oliver 1:10:43 ... yeah, that something's been kept from you. I didn't want that to be the case.

Eugene 1:10:45 Mm.

John Oliver 1:10:45 So I kind of explained to them as best I could. They came to see one sh- the one thing that I thought that would be fun for them to see was when we were messing with that New Zealand Bird of the Year contest.

Eugene 1:10:56 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Oliver 1:10:56 Did you ever see about that?

Eugene 1:10:57 Yes.

John Oliver 1:10:57 I was dressed up like the puteketeke.

Trevor Noah 1:10:59 Right.

John Oliver 1:10:59 So I'm like in this huge, colorful bird costume.

Eugene 1:11:01 Is this how you chose your kids to see you?

John Oliver 1:11:03 Yes. It's the only time they've been to my work. I'm dressed like a giant-

Eugene 1:11:06 Now you're my hero

John Oliver 1:11:07 ... colorful bird.

Trevor Noah 1:11:09 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:11:09 And then I realized that in their heads, understandably, they think that's happening every week.

Eugene 1:11:15 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:11:15 They think I, they think I'm Big Bird.

Eugene 1:11:18 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:11:19 So, so-

Eugene 1:11:20 That suit is in your car-

John Oliver 1:11:21 Six-

Eugene 1:11:21 ... and that's your uniform

John Oliver 1:11:22 ... six months later, like I'm going to work, and Lee said, "Have you got the bird costume on?"

Eugene 1:11:26 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:11:27 "What bird costume? Oh, shit."

Eugene 1:11:29 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:11:31 [laughs] Yeah, that was, that was just a one-off.

Eugene 1:11:33 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:11:33 I just, I just wear a suit.

Trevor Noah 1:11:36 [laughs]

Eugene 1:11:37 Oh, man. Oh, man.

John Oliver 1:11:38 Yeah. But it's har- it's hard, it's impossible for a kid to understand, 'cause it's not, it's, it's important for them to, like, know what you're doing.

Trevor Noah 1:11:46 Yeah, but it's-

John Oliver 1:11:46 But the more you describe it, the worse it sounds.

Trevor Noah 1:11:50 It's just a, it's, it's, it's, yeah, it's weird.

Eugene 1:11:53 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:11:54 But I've, I, I found if you explain it to kids, like using class dynamics, they get it.

John Oliver 1:12:01 Huh.

Trevor Noah 1:12:01 Because they have their pictures up on walls. The, people know the class captain.

John Oliver 1:12:05 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:12:05 People... Do you get what I'm saying?

Eugene 1:12:06 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:12:07 Then they sort of... What did you tell your daughter? What did you-

John Oliver 1:12:09 Yeah.

Eugene 1:12:09 Whose daughter is this?

Trevor Noah 1:12:11 [laughs]

Eugene 1:12:13 Is it the daughter for the show that we're gonna fictitiously...

John Oliver 1:12:17 [laughs]

Eugene 1:12:19 Are they twins?

John Oliver 1:12:21 Whose daughter is this? I didn't, I haven't acknowledged that yet.

Trevor Noah 1:12:25 [laughs]

Eugene 1:12:26 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:12:26 And you know that. You're bringing that up.

Eugene 1:12:28 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:12:28 You're returning fire 'cause of that NBA thing.

Trevor Noah 1:12:31 Oh, man.

John Oliver 1:12:31 Now you're trying to suck me into some shit.

Trevor Noah 1:12:32 Oh, man. Oh, this guy.

Eugene 1:12:35 Suck. [laughs]

John Oliver 1:12:35 Which daughter is this?

Trevor Noah 1:12:38 No, but what did you, what did you-

John Oliver 1:12:39 What are you saying?

Trevor Noah 1:12:39 ... what did you say?

Eugene 1:12:40 I think I didn't have to say much because we spent so much time together.

John Oliver 1:12:43 Mm-hmm.

Eugene 1:12:43 Obviously, when people recognize you, they would recognize you from the thing that you do.

John Oliver 1:12:47 Mm-hmm.

Eugene 1:12:47 So my thing was always denying it.

John Oliver 1:12:49 Mm-hmm.

Eugene 1:12:49 And say, "We look alike." And she'd be like, "No, it's him." [laughs]

John Oliver 1:12:53 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:12:53 [laughs]

Eugene 1:12:53 So I mean [laughs] so, so then-

Trevor Noah 1:12:54 Oh, it's like when people would be like, "Eugene" and you'd be like, "That's not me."

Eugene 1:12:55 Yeah, and then she's like, "Dad, don't lie."

John Oliver 1:12:56 How do you describe stand-up to them?

Eugene 1:12:58 I don't.

John Oliver 1:12:59 Yeah. C- all I said was they came to, they, it went, I was down at, at, last December-

Trevor Noah 1:13:03 Yeah

John Oliver 1:13:04 ... I was doing the Kennedy Center.

Eugene 1:13:04 Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 1:13:05 So they, I came and I said, "I want this is where I'm gonna go and do my talk." I just said like, [laughs] "I'm just gonna stand and talk into this microphone," 'cause that makes sense because-

Trevor Noah 1:13:11 That makes a lot of sense

John Oliver 1:13:12 ... they talk in front like they-

Trevor Noah 1:13:12 Yeah, they talk in front of the class.

John Oliver 1:13:14 Exactly.

Eugene 1:13:14 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:13:14 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:13:15 So I said, "I'm just gonna be doing like a talk in front of a class."

Eugene 1:13:16 I think that just confuses them even more.

John Oliver 1:13:18 Oh, really? You-

Eugene 1:13:18 I, I, I think your daughter relates more to your television work than your stand-up work.

John Oliver 1:13:22 Why?

Eugene 1:13:22 Because that's, that's a real thing. There's more people that she sees on television than she'll ever see doing stand-up.

John Oliver 1:13:28 Oh.

Eugene 1:13:28 So stand-up will never be a thing.

John Oliver 1:13:30 Oh, right.

Eugene 1:13:30 It's a thing that you, you know-

Trevor Noah 1:13:31 Until they're old enough, then it's-

Eugene 1:13:33 Yes

John Oliver 1:13:33 ... yeah. That'll make sense.

Eugene 1:13:33 But then they'll understand that stand-up is the thing that got you the TV job.

John Oliver 1:13:37 Yeah. That's why I don't say it's stand-up, I say it's just talking. 'Cause you can un- they, they can understand the concept of talking in front of a classroom. Makes sense. You stand on a chair and you talk to people and they listen.

Eugene 1:13:48 Yeah, but they, their, their-

John Oliver 1:13:49 I just don't have the chair

Eugene 1:13:49 ... teacher stands there and talks and he's poor.

Trevor Noah 1:13:52 [laughs]

Eugene 1:13:53 So, so they ... The jig is up.

John Oliver 1:13:57 So you think I say-

Eugene 1:13:57 It's the remix to Ignition now. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:14:00 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:14:00 I told that song is sticky.

Trevor Noah 1:14:02 [laughs]

Eugene 1:14:03 It, no, it is. It really is.

John Oliver 1:14:04 That is about as catchy-

Eugene 1:14:05 Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce-

John Oliver 1:14:06 ... as music has ever been

Eugene 1:14:08 ... bounce, bounce. No. That, that thing is just like, no.

John Oliver 1:14:10 Mama rollin' that body. Got every man in here wishin'-

Eugene 1:14:14 L- look at this. Look at this

John Oliver 1:14:15 ... sippin' on Coke and rum.

Eugene 1:14:16 Ugh.

John Oliver 1:14:16 I'm not sober, I'm drunk. It's the freakin' weekend.

Eugene 1:14:19 Baby, I'm about to have me some fun.

John Oliver 1:14:21 Anyway, he's a terrible human being.

Trevor Noah 1:14:23 You have to say that at the end of every-

Eugene 1:14:25 Chris, stop throwing me under the bus

John Oliver 1:14:26 ... he's a terrible human being.

Trevor Noah 1:14:26 It's too much.

Eugene 1:14:26 He's a gator.

Trevor Noah 1:14:27 It's too much.

John Oliver 1:14:27 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:14:27 It's too mu- Oh, um, I would love to know what you think are the biggest existential crises that, like, America/the world is facing now.

Eugene 1:14:37 [laughs] Are you ready? Take a sip.

John Oliver 1:14:40 I really hope that is a question you just ask all your guests.

Trevor Noah 1:14:44 No, it's just you.

John Oliver 1:14:44 [laughs] Like i- if you could have one meal for the rest of your life.

Eugene 1:14:46 [laughs] Yeah, it's one of those-

John Oliver 1:14:47 That, that kind of shit.

Trevor Noah 1:14:48 No, no, just you.

John Oliver 1:14:48 Well, here's the, here's the little party trick.

Trevor Noah 1:14:50 No, no, okay. [laughs]

Eugene 1:14:50 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:14:50 What's the biggest existential crisis-

Trevor Noah 1:14:51 No, I'll tell you why

John Oliver 1:14:52 ... oh, okay, Trevor.

Trevor Noah 1:14:53 [laughs]

Eugene 1:14:53 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:14:54 Just say you want us to go.

Trevor Noah 1:14:57 [laughs] I'll tell you, okay.

Eugene 1:14:58 You know that old footballer's gambit.

Trevor Noah 1:15:00 Can I tell you why?

John Oliver 1:15:01 Yes. Yeah. No.

Trevor Noah 1:15:01 Can I tell you why? I'll tell you why. So I'll ask you the question because I remember when I was fully immersed in The Daily Show.

John Oliver 1:15:10 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 1:15:11 My worldview was shaped in many ways-

Eugene 1:15:13 Oh

Trevor Noah 1:15:13 ... by everything I was reading in and around that space.

Eugene 1:15:16 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 1:15:16 Do you get what I'm saying? So if you asked me at that time, I think I would've said something politics-related, et cetera, et cetera. You, you, you get what I'm saying?

Eugene 1:15:24 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:15:24 Because I was so fully engulfed by this world.

Eugene 1:15:27 Immersed in it, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:15:27 Yeah. Fully, fully, fully. If you ask me now, because I spend m- m- most of my fun time reading about, like, monopolies and, and corporations-

Eugene 1:15:36 Yeah. That's how I'm-

Trevor Noah 1:15:36 ... I'll actually say that's the thing, and you know that's about me

Eugene 1:15:38 ... that's your fun time.

Trevor Noah 1:15:38 That, no, that is, like, my fun time.

John Oliver 1:15:39 Yeah.

Eugene 1:15:39 Yeah. Reading finance.

Trevor Noah 1:15:40 It's that, pickleball-

Eugene 1:15:41 Oh

Trevor Noah 1:15:42 ... and then football.

Eugene 1:15:42 Oh, pickle- [laughs] oof.

Trevor Noah 1:15:44 [laughs]

Eugene 1:15:46 Oof. Ish.

John Oliver 1:15:47 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:15:47 So-

John Oliver 1:15:47 You got, you shouldn't be doing pickleball for another 35 years, shouldn't you? You, you play pickleball now?

Trevor Noah 1:15:51 Yeah.

Eugene 1:15:52 Oof.

Trevor Noah 1:15:52 I love it. I love it.

Eugene 1:15:52 Dazzy play pickleball.

John Oliver 1:15:54 Really?

Eugene 1:15:54 Oof.

Trevor Noah 1:15:55 I love it.

Eugene 1:15:55 He lives there.

Trevor Noah 1:15:56 It's, it's fantastic.

Eugene 1:15:56 Yo, one day dragged me there for four hours.

Trevor Noah 1:15:58 Only one day? I've dragged you there many days, my friend. Many. You know what I love about you, though, is you don't seem to learn the lesson.

Eugene 1:16:05 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:16:05 I, I really love this about Eugene. The first time he came along-

Eugene 1:16:08 That's what I heard

Trevor Noah 1:16:08 ... he was standing on the side and he was ... I, I watched him at some point, the first five minutes he was like, "Okay." And then I saw him look ... You, you almost looked like a parent who had brought their child to an activity and then they were like, "How long do I have to stare in obligation?"

Eugene 1:16:22 I didn't know it was that long. I thought decent people, I thought they play a match and then they go home.

Trevor Noah 1:16:26 No.

Eugene 1:16:26 Remember, all organized sport has a time limit.

Trevor Noah 1:16:29 Oh, yeah, you're not wrong.

Eugene 1:16:29 Football is 90 minutes so I was like, if I, if I-

Trevor Noah 1:16:32 Oh, no, you're not wrong. No. I do, like, four hours.

Eugene 1:16:34 And he's the Kaiser of-

Trevor Noah 1:16:35 Yeah, I do like four hours

Eugene 1:16:36 ... he shouts orders, "Let us play!"

Trevor Noah 1:16:38 I mean, I, I just think I'm motivational.

Eugene 1:16:41 Then he calls people from the benches. Cleaners are coming in, security guards.

Trevor Noah 1:16:43 [laughs]

Eugene 1:16:43 Everyone grabs their, "Yeah, yeah."

Trevor Noah 1:16:45 We just have fun, John.

John Oliver 1:16:46 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:16:47 I have a good time.

Eugene 1:16:48 Have you played pickleball, John?

John Oliver 1:16:49 No, I haven't played pickleball.

Trevor Noah 1:16:50 Have you, did you play?

John Oliver 1:16:50 Oh, no, I did, I did play pickleball once. I've played it.

Eugene 1:16:52 And?

Trevor Noah 1:16:52 Did you?

John Oliver 1:16:53 I thought it was fine.

Eugene 1:16:54 Fine, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:16:54 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:16:54 I thought it was fine.

Trevor Noah 1:16:55 Yeah, it is fine.

John Oliver 1:16:56 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:16:56 It's fine and then the more you get into it-

Eugene 1:16:57 Okay. Sorry, Trevor.

John Oliver 1:16:58 But it, it doesn't do to me what it does to other people.

Trevor Noah 1:16:59 Do you still play football?

John Oliver 1:17:00 It'd be like taking heroin and going, "This takes the edge off." Football I love.

Eugene 1:17:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:17:03 Do you still play football?

John Oliver 1:17:04 Football, yeah, we used to play Tuesday every, every ... I don't play now. I don't play.

Trevor Noah 1:17:08 What? What happened? What happened?

John Oliver 1:17:08 There's no time now. Just family and work. I just don't have time now, but I, that, I, that, I used to play all the time.

Trevor Noah 1:17:12 Not even, like, to squeeze in, like, an hour?

John Oliver 1:17:15 No. No, I can-

Trevor Noah 1:17:15 Nothing?

John Oliver 1:17:16 No, nothing.

Trevor Noah 1:17:17 Oh, man.

John Oliver 1:17:17 Yeah. No, it's brutal.

Trevor Noah 1:17:18 I thought it would be, like, knees or something.

John Oliver 1:17:19 No. [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:17:20 I stopped because of knees.

John Oliver 1:17:22 Just the concept of knees.

Trevor Noah 1:17:24 Just knees in general.

John Oliver 1:17:25 Uh, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:25 I was seeing too many of them. [laughs]

Eugene 1:17:29 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:17:29 No. I would go home and have these thoughts about knees and I was like-

John Oliver 1:17:32 Just, just like knees everywhere

Trevor Noah 1:17:33 ... I just knee just, I can't.

John Oliver 1:17:34 Oh, God.

Trevor Noah 1:17:34 No, no, it's, no.

John Oliver 1:17:35 There's just 22 of them bearing down on me.

Eugene 1:17:37 [laughs] Yeah, dead.

Trevor Noah 1:17:38 [laughs] It was, um ... No, no, I, especially running on AstroTurf, it killed me.

John Oliver 1:17:41 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:41 I just, I was like, "I can't do this."

John Oliver 1:17:43 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:43 I, I played at Pier 40 in New York.

John Oliver 1:17:44 Oh, nice.

Trevor Noah 1:17:45 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:17:45 Great.

Trevor Noah 1:17:45 We'd play, like, a midnight game.

John Oliver 1:17:47 Great.

Trevor Noah 1:17:47 And then we'd go ... That was the hardest episode of The Daily Show every week.

Eugene 1:17:52 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:17:52 Because we would finish a game-

Eugene 1:17:54 Mm.

John Oliver 1:17:54 Oh, yeah

Trevor Noah 1:17:54 ... at midnight, 1:00 AM.

John Oliver 1:17:56 Oh, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:17:56 And then 8:00 AM you're in the office trying to concentrate on what Mitch McConnell is saying.

Eugene 1:18:01 After running on AstroTurf at Pier 40.

John Oliver 1:18:01 You've just got knees.

Trevor Noah 1:18:02 Just knees in your head.

Eugene 1:18:03 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:18:03 That's all I have. No. So, so, um, yeah, you, uh, I've brought-

John Oliver 1:18:06 Existential

Trevor Noah 1:18:07 ... I've brought him along-

John Oliver 1:18:07 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:18:08 ... a few times.

Eugene 1:18:09 Yo, I hate it.

Trevor Noah 1:18:09 Yeah. And, but the, the reason I'm saying that-

Eugene 1:18:11 First, first hour I'm fine.

Trevor Noah 1:18:12 Yeah.

Eugene 1:18:13 Hour four.

Trevor Noah 1:18:14 You, you're not wrong. I did take it too far that day.

Eugene 1:18:16 Hour four.

Trevor Noah 1:18:16 You're not wrong. And I did apologize at the time. I even said to you-

Eugene 1:18:19 But you were behaving like you were on steroids

Trevor Noah 1:18:20 ... but I even said to you-

Eugene 1:18:21 Everyone was tired

Trevor Noah 1:18:22 ... I even said to you, "I'm sorry." Did I not say I'm sorry?

Eugene 1:18:24 No, you did say.

Trevor Noah 1:18:24 I did, from the court-

Eugene 1:18:25 But you were sweaty. I couldn't take it seriously.

Trevor Noah 1:18:26 I did say I'm sorry. From the court I said-

Eugene 1:18:28 Yeah, you did

Trevor Noah 1:18:28 ... "Eugene, I'm sorry. We took it too far."

Eugene 1:18:30 Yeah. Yes.

Trevor Noah 1:18:30 I did apologize.

Eugene 1:18:31 Yes, yes. Yes.

Trevor Noah 1:18:31 But going back, what I'm saying is your worldview. I find for anyone who spends a lot of time consuming information in certain spaces or spheres-

John Oliver 1:18:41 Uh-huh

Trevor Noah 1:18:41 ... they often have a different perspective on what they think is- ... most dangerous for the world in that moment.

John Oliver 1:18:47 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:18:47 You know what I mean?

John Oliver 1:18:47 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:18:48 And so I'm wondering, 'cause you, you're reading everything, you're engaging, you're doing, you're doing research. You, you, you know what I mean? You consume so much.

John Oliver 1:18:54 That's a good question. I think my, and mine's might be related to that. So rather than, because o- obviously mergers are a constant threat, and the most immediate one is always the most immediate threat.

Trevor Noah 1:19:03 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:19:03 Like, land disputes around the world-

Trevor Noah 1:19:06 Yeah

John Oliver 1:19:07 ... are everything from, like, horrific in the, uh, m- medium term to, you know, systemic in the long term, right?

Trevor Noah 1:19:16 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:19:16 I think, like, the, in terms of a threat being existential, one of the biggest problems right now is the kind of information that is available to you to get.

Trevor Noah 1:19:27 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:19:27 That feels to me like an existential threat.

Trevor Noah 1:19:29 Mm-hmm. Say more.

John Oliver 1:19:30 What constitutes... Because people are so siloed now, and are so able to traffic in low-grade information.

Trevor Noah 1:19:39 Information.

John Oliver 1:19:39 One of the big-

Trevor Noah 1:19:39 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 1:19:40 ... things that I've learnt by doing our show is that there is a huge amount of utility in having access to experts in the field that researchers will speak to.

Trevor Noah 1:19:52 Okay.

John Oliver 1:19:52 And you can get good, primary source information. There is so much trash being passed around, and confidently passed around. I worry about that. It, it's hard to have a conversation about anything-

Trevor Noah 1:20:07 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 1:20:08 ... when the information about that thing is so poor.

Trevor Noah 1:20:10 Hmm.

John Oliver 1:20:11 That is my concern. Feels like in the past, people just didn't know about certain things.

Trevor Noah 1:20:18 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:20:18 Now they can be confidently wrong about something, which I actually think is more dangerous. So, uh, that is my, I guess that would, that is what would come to mind in terms of an existential threat. I just, I, I worry about our information funnels right now.

Trevor Noah 1:20:36 Yeah, the analogy I, I used to use with some people is I'd say it's, it's, it would be the equivalent of people watching sports, whatever sport you want-

John Oliver 1:20:44 Mm

Trevor Noah 1:20:45 ... and you have opposing teams, or you choose your teams. People already disagree on the game. That should've been a foul, that shouldn't have been a foul.

John Oliver 1:20:52 Uh-huh.

Trevor Noah 1:20:52 That, but imagine if they were watching two different games.

John Oliver 1:20:54 Yes, right.

Trevor Noah 1:20:55 How would you even-

John Oliver 1:20:56 That, that's the problem

Trevor Noah 1:20:57 ... do you know what I mean?

John Oliver 1:20:58 Yes.

Trevor Noah 1:20:58 Now, now we're not even watching the same game.

John Oliver 1:21:00 That's the problem.

Trevor Noah 1:21:00 Mm. And we're supposed to live in the same stadium, but we're literally not watching the same game.

John Oliver 1:21:05 That's the thing.

Trevor Noah 1:21:05 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:21:05 So then, then any kind of shorthand of, "Oh, we just need to come together," any of that-

Trevor Noah 1:21:09 No

John Oliver 1:21:09 ... like Joe Biden, "This is not who we are."

Trevor Noah 1:21:11 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:21:11 I think you are so far off addressing [laughs] the central problem here, that this is functionally useless.

Trevor Noah 1:21:17 What would you change?

John Oliver 1:21:19 Uh, I d- I don't know. I, it, it's

John Oliver 1:21:21 feels like it's something that societally is gonna have to change. There's g- th- there's gonna have to be a premium put on good information.

Trevor Noah 1:21:28 So where do you get your information?

John Oliver 1:21:30 Well, again, like, that, that's where we are very lucky, and this is [laughs] not scalable. I have a staff who can go out and speak to experts for weeks-

Trevor Noah 1:21:39 Hmm

John Oliver 1:21:40 ... produce a packet of good information.

Trevor Noah 1:21:42 Oh, okay, yeah.

John Oliver 1:21:43 They can-

Trevor Noah 1:21:43 Yeah

John Oliver 1:21:43 ... update. They can f- they can, they can find out, is this data still current? So often you're passing around data in, maybe in good faith, doesn't apply anymore. You don't know-

Trevor Noah 1:21:53 Yeah, you don't know that, that-

John Oliver 1:21:54 ... something that, that, that, that once was true-

Trevor Noah 1:21:55 ... that study's been, that study's been updated. Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 1:21:57 ... that's not true anymore.

Trevor Noah 1:21:58 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:21:58 It's very difficult. That, so I think that that kind of information literacy is something I think people are gonna have to get better at understanding. I h- it may be that this generation of kids are going to be better, I hope, are gonna be better at seeing through the garbage than older people are now.

Trevor Noah 1:22:16 Do you think AI makes it better or worse?

John Oliver 1:22:17 I mean, we'll see. We'll see. It imminently seems like it's making things significantly worse, but, uh, I, I hope that long term there are ways to fix that. But, um, yeah, the, again, the kind of unearned confidence of these billionaire AI cowboys-

Trevor Noah 1:22:34 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:22:34 ... is not inspiring.

Trevor Noah 1:22:35 I like that, the unearned confidence.

John Oliver 1:22:36 Oh, God, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:22:37 It is pretty, I mean, that's a, that's a, that's a perfect way to describe it, because they approach a situation that they have never been in with the confidence of someone who has lived there for a century.

John Oliver 1:22:49 They just don't cons-

Trevor Noah 1:22:50 They, they make it seem like they exist in the future that they're preaching, and they, they, they're selling it to us as if it's already concluded in a good way. Mm-hmm.

John Oliver 1:22:57 Or just they're making decisions on a series of best case scenarios.

Trevor Noah 1:23:01 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:23:02 That's, that feels, like, fatally problematic. I think there was a story about K- Kumail Nanjiani, when he was at, doing that show Silicon Valley.

Trevor Noah 1:23:10 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:23:10 And they would go up to Silicon Valley and walk around and, like, into these companies, these startup companies, and he would ask them kind of, "Yeah, w- what though if, uh, how could this be used for fascism?" Just in [laughs] just in general. And he would, like, see them go, "Oh, yeah, we don't really think about that here." Like, oh, you don't? That's interesting. Feels like something you might wanna think about.

Trevor Noah 1:23:31 Hmm.

John Oliver 1:23:31 How could your product be used to hurt people? That might be part of the decision process you wanna fold in to all of this.

Trevor Noah 1:23:38 There's a, there's a book I read about, have you read, um, the book, uh, Careless People, I think it is?

John Oliver 1:23:42 Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Trevor Noah 1:23:43 It's a, a, a book written by, um, this woman from New Zealand who basically started working at Facebook as a, as a sort of, like, international liaison, like their diplomat. And she talks about how even when Facebook was starting to become the de facto social media platform around the world, they did not think they needed to care-

John Oliver 1:24:05 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:24:06 ... about how their platform could be used-

John Oliver 1:24:08 Right

Trevor Noah 1:24:08 ... neg- like, they were just like, "No, no, no, that's not our, that's not us. That, that, that, we-

John Oliver 1:24:12 That's the most-

Trevor Noah 1:24:12 ... we have nothing to do with this."

John Oliver 1:24:13 That is the most obvious example, is they bring the world together. Bring to it, let's share-

Trevor Noah 1:24:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah

John Oliver 1:24:15 ... share information, we're all those things.

Trevor Noah 1:24:17 We have nothing to do with that.

John Oliver 1:24:17 Next thing you know, what's happening in Myanmar?

Trevor Noah 1:24:18 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:24:18 Oh, that can't be anything to do with us. Oh, it's very much to do with you. You've just thrown gasoline over what was happening.

Trevor Noah 1:24:23 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:24:23 So now what are you gonna do about it? Oh, well, you know, we're gonna learn. Are you, or is that just something you say you're gonna do?

Trevor Noah 1:24:29 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:24:29 That's, it's, yeah, it's a, that, that is what I'm concerned about.

Trevor Noah 1:24:33 Do you keep your kids off social media, everything?

John Oliver 1:24:35 Yes, absolutely.

Trevor Noah 1:24:35 Do they have phones?

John Oliver 1:24:36 Nope.

Trevor Noah 1:24:37 Hmm.

John Oliver 1:24:37 How, how do you, how do you deal with that?

Trevor Noah 1:24:38 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:24:39 Well, they, it's easier now. They're 10 and 7, right? So they're not really going anywhere that I'm not. [laughs] As well

Trevor Noah 1:24:44 That's why I don't play football anymore

John Oliver 1:24:45 So I have a phone.

Trevor Noah 1:24:45 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:24:45 Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:24:46 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:24:48 Prison warden took over.

Trevor Noah 1:24:49 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:24:49 So, like, and but is, is it amazing how often now even my seven-year-old, he basically treats me like Siri. He'll just say, "Look it up. Type it in. Type it in." [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:24:57 You asked for that job.

John Oliver 1:24:58 That's right. Her p-

Trevor Noah 1:24:59 You know what I like-

John Oliver 1:24:59 That's Alonso, Peter Alonso. Look it up. Type it in

Trevor Noah 1:25:01 ... but what I, what I also like about this-

John Oliver 1:25:02 Type it in. Hey, Siri. Hey, Dada.

Trevor Noah 1:25:04 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:25:04 Hey, Dada. Hey, Dada

Trevor Noah 1:25:05 What I also like about this though is I'm assuming she has an American accent.

John Oliver 1:25:08 Oh, yeah, uh-

Trevor Noah 1:25:09 So you're like her English butler, essentially

John Oliver 1:25:11 ... it is, it is. You know what is odd is that-

Trevor Noah 1:25:12 Or her

Trevor Noah 1:25:13 kidnapper in public [laughs]

John Oliver 1:25:14 ... it, you never, that-

Trevor Noah 1:25:15 'Cause you, if you don't, if you don't have the same accent as your child-

John Oliver 1:25:17 That is the-

Trevor Noah 1:25:18 ... it's a thin line, eh?

John Oliver 1:25:19 It's the craziest thing though-

Trevor Noah 1:25:20 I know, yeah

John Oliver 1:25:20 ... 'cause it, it's the stupidest thing that I'd never considered-

Trevor Noah 1:25:22 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 1:25:23 ... was that it didn't occur to me that they would not, y- when, when you grow up, the idea of having kids, you always, like, think they'll sound like you.

Trevor Noah 1:25:31 Yeah, an version of you.

John Oliver 1:25:32 So it is odd-

Trevor Noah 1:25:32 Yeah

John Oliver 1:25:32 ... the first time it hits your ear, and they're, they're around for a while not speaking, right?

Trevor Noah 1:25:37 Yeah. [laughs]

John Oliver 1:25:37 So it feels like, "Oh, this is, there's gonna be a, 'Hello, how you doing? Oh, nice to see ya.'"

Trevor Noah 1:25:41 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:25:41 That's coming out one day.

Trevor Noah 1:25:42 Chipping Norton all the way.

John Oliver 1:25:43 And then, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:25:44 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:25:44 And then the first time you catch them saying, "Hey, how's it going? Nice to see," or what, you know, uh, what, any kind of, like, American R.

Trevor Noah 1:25:53 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:25:53 And you go, "Oh, oh. [laughs] Oh, yeah, of course, that makes sense. You're gonna sound like the people that you're around all the time." But-

Trevor Noah 1:26:01 And even better for them is they've got the immigrant dad.

John Oliver 1:26:04 Mm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:05 'Cause you realize for them-

John Oliver 1:26:07 Yeah

Trevor Noah 1:26:07 ... in your head, you're normal.

John Oliver 1:26:09 Mm-hmm.

Trevor Noah 1:26:09 Right? For the most part, in your head, you're normal.

John Oliver 1:26:11 [laughs]

Trevor Noah 1:26:12 In their, in their world, when they grow up, they're gonna be American kids, and they're gonna be like, "Oh, yeah, oh my God, I remember my dad would always be like, 'Oh, are you going to put that away?'"

John Oliver 1:26:21 Oh, he, yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:26:21 "Are you going to put that..." Like, you are-

John Oliver 1:26:23 He, that, that is-

Trevor Noah 1:26:24 ... Peppa Pig's grandfather

John Oliver 1:26:25 ... that is when you really realize I've got an American accent-

Trevor Noah 1:26:27 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:26:27 ... is when they do a, when they do a shift when they're doing an impression of me.

Trevor Noah 1:26:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go.

John Oliver 1:26:31 And you go, "You know how Dad is. He's all, 'Oh, you gotta put your toys away.'"

Trevor Noah 1:26:34 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:26:34 You're like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You're getting a little confident with that accent."

Trevor Noah 1:26:40 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:26:40 "It's okay when I do that voice."

Trevor Noah 1:26:42 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:26:42 "It's not, don't give me the Dick Van Dyke version of this."

Trevor Noah 1:26:46 [laughs]

John Oliver 1:26:48 [laughs] It's true.

Trevor Noah 1:26:50 That's a good bit. That's a, that's a good-

John Oliver 1:26:51 Oh, man

Trevor Noah 1:26:51 ... do they, do they get to go back to England?

John Oliver 1:26:53 Yes.

Trevor Noah 1:26:53 Do they spend time there?

John Oliver 1:26:54 Yes.

Trevor Noah 1:26:54 Yeah.

John Oliver 1:26:54 They love it there, so yeah, they are-

Trevor Noah 1:26:56 How long do they spend? Like, how, will you, like, do the thing of shipping them off for, like, six weeks, or-

John Oliver 1:27:00 No, we haven't done that yet.

Trevor Noah 1:27:02 Oh, that's a South African thing.

John Oliver 1:27:03 We, we-

Trevor Noah 1:27:03 No, I think a lot of people do that, a lot of people around the world, like-

John Oliver 1:27:05 Ship off kids for six weeks?

Trevor Noah 1:27:06 Yeah, like in, I find where they come from

John Oliver 1:27:08 ... I find, I find people, yeah, people-

Trevor Noah 1:27:09 Oh

John Oliver 1:27:09 ... who come from another country-

Trevor Noah 1:27:11 Mm-hmm

John Oliver 1:27:11 ... doesn't matter where, they, they'll be like, "Oh, my kids are going to Colombia for six weeks," or South, they're gonna go back South Africa for six, they're gonna go back to England for, like, the summer period.

Trevor Noah 1:27:17 What are they hoping it's going to do?

John Oliver 1:27:18 Oh. Oh, 'cause summer's so long here.

Trevor Noah 1:27:20 It's just, yes.

John Oliver 1:27:20 That's the thing.

Trevor Noah 1:27:21 That's the thing.

John Oliver 1:27:21 Like, 'cause we have, like, in our, our summer holidays in England were, like, five weeks, five and a half-

Trevor Noah 1:27:25 Mm-hmm. No, no, here summer's-

John Oliver 1:27:25 ... five and a half weeks in total. Here it's like-

Trevor Noah 1:27:27 ... it's months

John Oliver 1:27:27 ... months and months. Yeah.

Trevor Noah 1:27:29 So k- people will send their kids, if they come from a place and they can send their kids back, they'll just be like, "Oh, the kids are back in wherever." My friends, some of my friends are like, "Oh, the kids go to Trinidad," and they go there for, like, months in the summer holidays.

John Oliver 1:27:40 Oh, yeah, no, then they're doing that.

Trevor Noah 1:27:40 And it just gives them back their, you know? So I was wondering if you do that. What does it give them back?

John Oliver 1:27:44 You know, their vibe. You know what this is.

Trevor Noah 1:27:49 Gyroscope.

John Oliver 1:27:50 You, you know what this is. Come on, Eugene.

Trevor Noah 1:27:53 [laughs] So what's the longest they've gone?

John Oliver 1:27:56 The, uh, the longest has only been, like, uh, 10 days. It's just taking them back for a week, walking them around. But I do li- I like-

Trevor Noah 1:28:02 [laughs] Like walking them around