Meet Joe Opio - My Favorite People

1. 0:00 – 0:32

   Trevor Apologizes for South Africa’s Twitter Habits

   1. TNTrevor Noah0:00

      [upbeat music] I will apologize on behalf of South Africans then to you as a fellow African-

   2. JOJoe Opio0:08

      Apologize accepted, yes

   3. TNTrevor Noah0:08

      ... yeah, as a fellow African. We didn't mean to leave you in the dust. We're not trying to do this intentionally. However, your beef is misplaced because when we listened to Sean Paul-

   4. JOJoe Opio0:19

      Okay

   5. TNTrevor Noah0:19

      ... and other, like-

   6. JOJoe Opio0:20

      Yes

   7. TNTrevor Noah0:21

      ... reggae, ragga artists-

   8. JOJoe Opio0:22

      Dancehall, yes

   9. TNTrevor Noah0:23

      ... and some of the dancehall and all of those vibes, those guys would switch things up in the middle of a sentence. We w- what did we say?

   10. JOJoe Opio0:30

       I'll say this.

   11. TNTrevor Noah0:31

       No, no, no, no.

   12. JOJoe Opio0:31

       I'll

2. 0:32 – 1:45

   Joe Opio: “You’re Listening to Reggae Wrong”

   1. JOJoe Opio0:32

      say this to counter.

   2. TNTrevor Noah0:32

      Just give me the light.

   3. JOJoe Opio0:33

      I- I'll say this-

   4. TNTrevor Noah0:33

      Yeah, yeah

   5. JOJoe Opio0:34

      ... if you listen-

   6. TNTrevor Noah0:35

      [singing]

   7. JOJoe Opio0:35

      ... if you, if you listen to reggae-

   8. TNTrevor Noah0:36

      [singing]

   9. JOJoe Opio0:38

      Listen. If you listen to reggae right now-

   10. TNTrevor Noah0:39

       Let me tell you something now

   11. JOJoe Opio0:41

       ... for the lyrics-

   12. TNTrevor Noah0:41

       [singing]

   13. JOJoe Opio0:41

       ... you're listening, you're listening to it wrong.

   14. TNTrevor Noah0:44

       [singing]

   15. JOJoe Opio0:45

       That's what I'm saying.

   16. TNTrevor Noah0:46

       [singing]

   17. JOJoe Opio0:46

       Eugene, that's what I'm saying.

   18. TNTrevor Noah0:47

       [singing] Like, where, where did the sentence start?

   19. JOJoe Opio0:51

       No, no, no. But-

   20. TNTrevor Noah0:51

       You brought me in with one thing

   21. JOJoe Opio0:52

       ... no one listens-

   22. TNTrevor Noah0:52

       Just give me the light.

   23. JOJoe Opio0:53

       But no one listens to-

   24. TNTrevor Noah0:54

       Yeah, yeah

   25. JOJoe Opio0:55

       ... no, but no one listens to reggae for the rh-

   26. TNTrevor Noah0:56

       Just give me the light. Okay, give me the light. [singing]

   27. JOJoe Opio0:59

       [laughs]

   28. TNTrevor Noah1:01

       [singing]

   29. JOJoe Opio1:02

       You listen for the-

   30. TNTrevor Noah1:02

       [singing]
3. 1:45 – 3:21

   Meet Joe Opio: Ugandan Comedy Legend

   1. TNTrevor Noah1:45

      of nowhere, okay? Which is a wonderful blessing, but you came out of nowhere because it was another friend's birthday.

   2. JOJoe Opio1:51

      With a plastic bag.

   3. TNTrevor Noah1:52

      W- you came with a plastic bag full of-

   4. JOJoe Opio1:53

      [laughs]

   5. TNTrevor Noah1:54

      ... [laughs] 0% alcohol.

   6. JOJoe Opio1:55

      [laughs]

   7. TNTrevor Noah1:57

      [laughs]

   8. JOJoe Opio1:57

      It's hard to get 0% Guinness.

   9. TNTrevor Noah1:59

      Yes. So you came with 0% alcohol.

   10. JOJoe Opio2:01

       Which is like the ultimate-

   11. TNTrevor Noah2:02

       It was hard to carry it. [laughs]

   12. TNTrevor Noah2:03

       Which is like the ultimate-

   13. JOJoe Opio2:03

       It was like a r- a reverse birthday gift, yes. Yes

   14. TNTrevor Noah2:05

       ... which is the ultimate, it's the ultimate, like, paradox.

   15. JOJoe Opio2:07

       Yeah. [laughs]

   16. TNTrevor Noah2:07

       It's like someone who's like, "I came for the party, but I don't like parties."

   17. JOJoe Opio2:10

       Yes, yes, yes.

   18. TNTrevor Noah2:11

       [laughs]

   19. TNTrevor Noah2:12

       Okay. So that's when you came. Now, because we all roll together, we are in this thing. So now I'll answer your question. So it's not an interview. W- I just wanted to hang out with Joe, right? And I was-

   20. JOJoe Opio2:22

       Why are there cameras and-

   21. TNTrevor Noah2:24

       [laughs]

   22. TNTrevor Noah2:24

       [laughs]

   23. JOJoe Opio2:24

       Or why... 'Cause you could have just... You assume he's one of your favorite people.

   24. TNTrevor Noah2:28

       Yes.

   25. JOJoe Opio2:29

       So I assume that up until this point you've hung out.

   26. TNTrevor Noah2:32

       Yes.

   27. JOJoe Opio2:33

       Cool. Now you decided to hang out. Are you going to hang... Like, can we-

   28. TNTrevor Noah2:39

       Okay, so now let me ask you this

   29. JOJoe Opio2:40

       ... can we play table tennis now?

   30. TNTrevor Noah2:41

       Okay, so-
4. 3:21 – 4:25

   Trevor’s Sex Tape Analogy for Recording Hangouts

   1. TNTrevor Noah3:21

      moments where you go, like, "This is why Joseph Opio is one of my favorite people."

   2. JOJoe Opio3:24

      [laughs]

   3. TNTrevor Noah3:24

      We were talking about food and the swag you have in a restaurant when you no longer have... Like, if the, the menu, all the prices are something you can easily afford.

   4. JOJoe Opio3:32

      Yes.

   5. TNTrevor Noah3:32

      There's, like, a-

   6. JOJoe Opio3:33

      Yes

   7. TNTrevor Noah3:33

      ... there's nothing.

   8. JOJoe Opio3:33

      Mm.

   9. TNTrevor Noah3:33

      So I was saying, remember the first time you didn't have to calculate.

   10. JOJoe Opio3:37

       Mm.

   11. TNTrevor Noah3:37

       'Cause remember there was a moment where you'd order-

   12. JOJoe Opio3:38

       Mm, mm, mm

   13. TNTrevor Noah3:38

       ... and you'd be like... They'd be like, "What would you like?" And then you knew what you liked, but what you were actually trying to think of was, "How do I, how do I add 35 to 47?"

   14. JOJoe Opio3:45

       [laughs] The first time you didn't have to calculate, that was a canon event.

   15. TNTrevor Noah3:47

       Exactly.

   16. JOJoe Opio3:48

       Yes.

   17. TNTrevor Noah3:48

       Exactly.

   18. JOJoe Opio3:48

       It's also same as the first time you filled up the tank without-

   19. TNTrevor Noah3:51

       Yes.

   20. JOJoe Opio3:52

       Yes.

   21. TNTrevor Noah3:52

       Yes, yes, exactly.

   22. JOJoe Opio3:53

       It's, it's in the-

   23. TNTrevor Noah3:53

       Yes, yes, yes. It's in that same... Yes.

   24. JOJoe Opio3:55

       Yes.

   25. TNTrevor Noah3:55

       Where you just go, "Fill it up."

   26. JOJoe Opio3:56

       Just fill it up.

   27. TNTrevor Noah3:56

       Yeah.

   28. JOJoe Opio3:57

       First click, let him go.

   29. TNTrevor Noah3:57

       So now we were talking about this-

   30. JOJoe Opio3:59

       [laughs]
5. 4:25 – 5:02

   First Time Not Calculating Menu Prices

   1. TNTrevor Noah4:25

      no. Joe, Joe.

   2. JOJoe Opio4:25

      Yes, it's an iconic scene.

   3. TNTrevor Noah4:27

      Joe.

   4. JOJoe Opio4:27

      It's the ultimate scene.

   5. TNTrevor Noah4:29

      Swordfish?

   6. JOJoe Opio4:30

      Yes. If you're thinking of making a decision under so much pressure.

   7. TNTrevor Noah4:34

      My friend.

   8. JOJoe Opio4:34

      He had a gun to his head.

   9. TNTrevor Noah4:36

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JOJoe Opio4:36

       He had to hack into the system, and then he had a woman giving him head.

   11. TNTrevor Noah4:43

       Huh?

   12. JOJoe Opio4:43

       Yes.

   13. TNTrevor Noah4:44

       That's why-

   14. JOJoe Opio4:44

       No.

   15. TNTrevor Noah4:45

       Guys.

   16. JOJoe Opio4:45

       That's why it's an iconic scene.

   17. TNTrevor Noah4:46

       You left that part out.

   18. JOJoe Opio4:47

       Yes.

   19. TNTrevor Noah4:47

       All along we were talking about guns.

   20. JOJoe Opio4:49

       Yes.

   21. TNTrevor Noah4:49

       People forget.

   22. JOJoe Opio4:50

       Yes.

   23. TNTrevor Noah4:50

       Yes.

   24. TNTrevor Noah4:50

       Guns are common.

   25. JOJoe Opio4:51

       That's the-

   26. TNTrevor Noah4:52

       More than guns.

   27. JOJoe Opio4:52

       No, that's... He didn't let me, like, set up the thing.

   28. TNTrevor Noah4:54

       Now I know.

   29. JOJoe Opio4:54

       I told him iconic scene.

   30. TNTrevor Noah4:55

       That's not what I'm saying.
6. 5:02 – 6:09

   Joe’s Pressure Scene: Swordfish (That One)

   1. JOJoe Opio5:02

      He had to hack-

   2. TNTrevor Noah5:02

      Hugh Jackman was getting a blowjob.

   3. JOJoe Opio5:03

      Yes. And he had like-

   4. TNTrevor Noah5:04

      That's iconic

   5. JOJoe Opio5:05

      ... he had, he had, like, a minute to hack into the system.

   6. TNTrevor Noah5:08

      Yes. You-

   7. JOJoe Opio5:08

      The pressure he was under.

   8. TNTrevor Noah5:09

      You're not... Okay. You're not-

   9. JOJoe Opio5:10

      I was saying, "Yes"

   10. TNTrevor Noah5:10

       ... you're not understanding what I'm saying.

   11. JOJoe Opio5:12

       Yes.

   12. TNTrevor Noah5:12

       I'm not saying that your choice of scene is incorrect.

   13. JOJoe Opio5:15

       Okay.

   14. TNTrevor Noah5:16

       I'm saying I have never in my life heard somebody go to Swordfish for... I've heard people say Mission Impossible.

   15. JOJoe Opio5:23

       Mm-hmm.

   16. TNTrevor Noah5:24

       Pressure, action.

   17. JOJoe Opio5:25

       Yes.

   18. TNTrevor Noah5:25

       I've heard people say The Matrix, action. I've heard people go Titanic. I've heard people go-

   19. JOJoe Opio5:29

       Who, who in Titanic was m-

   20. TNTrevor Noah5:30

       There's-

   21. JOJoe Opio5:30

       ... under the most pressure?

   22. TNTrevor Noah5:31

       You need... No, no, no.

   23. JOJoe Opio5:32

       You need who?

   24. TNTrevor Noah5:32

       What I'm saying is, like, there are movies-

   25. JOJoe Opio5:34

       Yes

   26. TNTrevor Noah5:34

       ... that are generally-

   27. JOJoe Opio5:35

       Yeah. Go-to movies. Yes

   28. TNTrevor Noah5:35

       ... thought of as the go-to-

   29. JOJoe Opio5:36

       Yes

   30. TNTrevor Noah5:36

       ... for, like, an example-
7. 6:09 – 8:00

   The Great Swordfish Movie Debate

   1. TNTrevor Noah6:09

      gonna say, "To swordfish somebody is to just bring up the most random-

   2. SPSpeaker6:13

      [laughs]

   3. JOJoe Opio6:13

      That's random

   4. TNTrevor Noah6:13

      ... instance. Yo, nobody knows Swordfish.

   5. JOJoe Opio6:16

      Oh, come on.

   6. TNTrevor Noah6:16

      Do you know Swordfish? Do you remember Swordfish?

   7. JOJoe Opio6:17

      Everyone knows this movie.

   8. SPSpeaker6:18

      I-

   9. TNTrevor Noah6:18

      Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, let's ask the man off camera.

   10. JOJoe Opio6:20

       Yes, of culture.

   11. TNTrevor Noah6:21

       Yeah.

   12. SPSpeaker6:22

       I, I... You, you could use Swordfish, y- you could use was Hugh Jackman in Swordfish as a trivia question, and people would be, "For the 500,000 in Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and we'd be like, "That's a good question."

   13. TNTrevor Noah6:34

       Yeah.

   14. SPSpeaker6:34

       Nobody knows Swordfish.

   15. TNTrevor Noah6:35

       No one knows that.

   16. JOJoe Opio6:36

       Nah, because people are not cultured.

   17. TNTrevor Noah6:38

       Yeah. Well, are they d-

   18. JOJoe Opio6:38

       I'm a, I'm a man of culture. I'm a, I'm, I'm a gentleman and a scholar, and I watch both prestige movies and, you know... I don't s-

   19. TNTrevor Noah6:47

       I believe you. I believe you.

   20. JOJoe Opio6:47

       The thing, the thing is, it's the scene that comes to mind. There's no other scene. Tell me of a- any other scene. Actually, it's also, it's also-

   21. TNTrevor Noah6:52

       A precious scene

   22. JOJoe Opio6:53

       ... it's also the only scene that's memorable from the movie.

   23. TNTrevor Noah6:56

       Where Hugh Jackman gets a blowjob ever in his career.

   24. JOJoe Opio6:58

       While, while-

   25. TNTrevor Noah6:59

       While hacking

   26. JOJoe Opio7:00

       ... it's the context, and having a gun to his head.

   27. TNTrevor Noah7:02

       And he's got 60 seconds.

   28. JOJoe Opio7:03

       Yes. He is-

   29. SPSpeaker7:05

       You're the worst.

   30. JOJoe Opio7:07

       No. Wait, once I gave it context, though-
8. 8:00 – 9:00

   Joe’s Wild Taste in Movies & Books

   1. TNTrevor Noah8:00

      taste, and-

   2. SPSpeaker8:02

      Is this question to Joe or to me?

   3. TNTrevor Noah8:04

      No, to Joe.

   4. JOJoe Opio8:05

      [laughs]

   5. SPSpeaker8:05

      [laughs]

   6. TNTrevor Noah8:05

      You don't have broad taste at all.

   7. JOJoe Opio8:06

      [laughs] Yeah. The- yours is very niche.

   8. TNTrevor Noah8:09

      You don't have broad taste at all.

   9. JOJoe Opio8:11

      Yes. Mm-mm.

   10. TNTrevor Noah8:11

       This guy. You d- you-

   11. JOJoe Opio8:14

       That, that Joe... That is so niche, sometimes it comes off as pretentious.

   12. TNTrevor Noah8:17

       This is... Can I tell you?

   13. JOJoe Opio8:18

       Yes.

   14. TNTrevor Noah8:18

       This is gonna be the weirdest podcast, 'cause people are gonna go like, "What, what is that other person?"

   15. JOJoe Opio8:23

       [laughs]

   16. TNTrevor Noah8:23

       And then I don't even know how we explain it.

   17. JOJoe Opio8:25

       [laughs]

   18. TNTrevor Noah8:26

       So if you're watching or listening to this, you're going, "What is happening?"

   19. JOJoe Opio8:29

       [laughs]

   20. TNTrevor Noah8:29

       I'll tell you what's happening. There's a Ugandan here.

   21. JOJoe Opio8:32

       [laughs]

   22. TNTrevor Noah8:32

       Then there's another Ugandan who's also a South African, and, but he's not with us here.

   23. JOJoe Opio8:37

       Now you make it seem like he's chain migrating.

   24. SPSpeaker8:39

       Why are you making- [laughs]

   25. JOJoe Opio8:39

       I ca- I came for this podcast-

   26. TNTrevor Noah8:41

       For real

   27. JOJoe Opio8:41

       ... and I brought a Ugandan context

   28. TNTrevor Noah8:42

       ... and you got some plants. Like we are-

   29. SPSpeaker8:43

       Yes, that's what it feels like. That's what it feels like.

   30. JOJoe Opio8:46

       [laughs]
9. 9:00 – 11:23

   Ugandan Accents & Trevor’s Savage Impressions

   1. JOJoe Opio9:00

      Then Kaluuya, and then it's a case.

   2. TNTrevor Noah9:02

      [laughs] So-

   3. SPSpeaker9:04

      Hm

   4. TNTrevor Noah9:04

      ... so the reason is... I'll tell you why it's not a question to you.

   5. JOJoe Opio9:07

      Oh.

   6. TNTrevor Noah9:07

      Is because you are not, you are not broad at all.

   7. SPSpeaker9:10

      No, only because I have the answer.

   8. JOJoe Opio9:12

      [laughs]

   9. TNTrevor Noah9:13

      For him?

   10. JOJoe Opio9:13

       Yes.

   11. TNTrevor Noah9:14

       No, wait. First I wanna hear his answer.

   12. JOJoe Opio9:16

       Okay.

   13. TNTrevor Noah9:16

       Then I wanna see what you...

   14. SPSpeaker9:17

       Okay.

   15. TNTrevor Noah9:18

       Okay, so-

   16. SPSpeaker9:18

       Give your answer.

   17. JOJoe Opio9:19

       Okay, so for me-

   18. SPSpeaker9:19

       Then I'll tell my answer

   19. JOJoe Opio9:21

       ... I don't think I made a delib- I, I don't want to be put in a box, if that makes sense. So I-

   20. TNTrevor Noah9:27

       So you, you'll purposely watch a terrible movie-

   21. JOJoe Opio9:28

       No, no, I don't... That's what I'm saying. I don't think I made a deliberate choice.

   22. TNTrevor Noah9:31

       Okay, got it.

   23. JOJoe Opio9:31

       'Cause I think, like, art in its very nature, or, like, things can be appreciated regardless of the, can we say standard or quality. Like, so Swordfish, not the greatest movie in the world-

   24. TNTrevor Noah9:42

       Yeah

   25. JOJoe Opio9:42

       ... but it had its moments. It's complex, almost. Art is c- it's almost like people.

   26. TNTrevor Noah9:48

       Mm.

   27. JOJoe Opio9:48

       If that makes sense.

   28. TNTrevor Noah9:49

       Yeah.

   29. JOJoe Opio9:50

       People can be appreciated because they have different, they bring, like, different nuances to everything. So a bad movie can have a great scene.

   30. TNTrevor Noah9:57

       Mm.
10. 11:23 – 18:31

    Food Falling From the Sky in Uganda

    1. JOJoe Opio11:23

       And I'm like, "No, you have an accent." 'Cause-

    2. TNTrevor Noah11:25

       You're not wrong

    3. JOJoe Opio11:26

       ... yes, 'cause in my mind, when I speak, I sound like, I sound, I sound like Hugh Grant right now. When I'm, when I'm talking right now-

    4. TNTrevor Noah11:32

       In fact, you're like, you should go to-

    5. JOJoe Opio11:34

       Yes

    6. TNTrevor Noah11:34

       ... Uganda and hear those-

    7. SPSpeaker11:36

       No, but what's crazy is, like-

    8. JOJoe Opio11:36

       When I'm talking right now-

    9. SPSpeaker11:37

       ... he's like, "I sound like Hugh Grant."

    10. JOJoe Opio11:38

        I sound like, yes, I sound like an English aristocrat.

    11. TNTrevor Noah11:40

        No, and can I tell you something? If... I- I've seen your... So, so I've seen your writing, and we'll go through this in stages. So I'll, I'll actually, we'll, we'll get back to this story. But in writing, because this man sitting here has a vocabulary that surpasses any human being I've met in my life. Like, personally, pers- that I know.

    12. JOJoe Opio11:58

        Mm-hmm.

    13. TNTrevor Noah11:58

        I, I don't know everyone in the world. This guy here, if I'm looking for a word, searching for a sentence, trying to fix grammar or structure, this person here knows more about the English language than anyone I've ever met, right?

    14. JOJoe Opio12:11

        Yeah. Mm-hmm.

    15. TNTrevor Noah12:11

        So I get what you're saying. When you right now, what you- What we heard was you, and then what you heard on the mic was you going, "I, I don't understand why anybody thinks-

    16. SPSpeaker12:22

        [laughs]

    17. TNTrevor Noah12:22

        ... I have an accent."

    18. SPSpeaker12:23

        [laughs]

    19. TNTrevor Noah12:24

        So in fact, in fact-

    20. JOJoe Opio12:24

        Uh, no

    21. TNTrevor Noah12:24

        ... when you, when you think about Swordfish-

    22. SPSpeaker12:26

        [laughs]

    23. TNTrevor Noah12:26

        When you think about Swordfish-

    24. JOJoe Opio12:28

        In my mind

    25. TNTrevor Noah12:29

        ... in my mind-

    26. JOJoe Opio12:30

        Let me tell you. The funny thing is-

    27. TNTrevor Noah12:30

        Let me tell you. The funny thing is-

    28. JOJoe Opio12:32

        The funny thing is, when I had Trevor-

    29. TNTrevor Noah12:33

        The funny thing is-

    30. JOJoe Opio12:33

        When I... Because Trevor does impressions.
11. 18:31 – 21:21

    Mistaken for Child Soldier at Idris Elba Premiere

    1. JOJoe Opio18:31

       Nation.

    2. TNTrevor Noah18:31

       Beasts of No Nation.

    3. JOJoe Opio18:32

       I can never forget. Yes.

    4. TNTrevor Noah18:33

       So if I remember correctly-

    5. JOJoe Opio18:35

       [laughs]

    6. TNTrevor Noah18:35

       ... the movie was on Netflix, wasn't it?

    7. JOJoe Opio18:37

       Ended up on Netflix.

    8. TNTrevor Noah18:38

       Okay.

    9. JOJoe Opio18:39

       But they, they had a screening.

    10. TNTrevor Noah18:40

        Okay. Okay, yeah. So-

    11. JOJoe Opio18:41

        'Cause if you're a member of the Writers Guild, you're invited to screenings.

    12. TNTrevor Noah18:43

        Yes.

    13. JOJoe Opio18:44

        So that you can vote for the Oscars, you know.

    14. TNTrevor Noah18:47

        Yeah.

    15. JOJoe Opio18:47

        And so I turn up to watch the movie. Brilliant movie. Loved it. Then we go... 'Cause at the screening, then they have, like, a party afterwards.

    16. TNTrevor Noah18:55

        Yeah. And, and then every-

    17. JOJoe Opio18:56

        Like a reception.

    18. TNTrevor Noah18:57

        Yeah. And the movie, for those who don't remember-

    19. JOJoe Opio18:59

        Yes

    20. TNTrevor Noah18:59

        ... was Beasts of No Nation was a movie about Idris Elba being like a war-

    21. JOJoe Opio19:03

        A warlord. Yeah

    22. TNTrevor Noah19:03

        ... like a warlord, and he had a bunch of child soldiers.

    23. JOJoe Opio19:06

        Yeah.

    24. TNTrevor Noah19:06

        And that was, like, the s-

    25. JOJoe Opio19:07

        Yes

    26. TNTrevor Noah19:07

        ... that's basically the, the story.

    27. JOJoe Opio19:08

        Yes.

    28. TNTrevor Noah19:08

        Okay.

    29. JOJoe Opio19:08

        So then we go to the reception, and then I notice there's this couple that keeps looking at me.

    30. TNTrevor Noah19:15

        Hmm.
12. 21:21 – 25:55

    Baby’s Day Out Bigger Than Star Wars

    1. JOJoe Opio21:21

       about... " And I go like, "'Cause when I was in Uganda, when I watched the news, when they go, like, foreign news, it's America, it's Britain, it's South Africa. When I'm reading a newspaper, when they go like, oh, international news, it's South Africa, it's Britain, it's... " But when you're in America, 'cause Americans are always going like, "Oh, we feel ignorant. We don't know as much about Uganda." Then I go like, "It makes sense. When you're watching news, when they go foreign news, it's not always Uganda. Maybe every once in a while, but it's France, it's other countries."

    2. TNTrevor Noah21:51

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    3. JOJoe Opio21:51

       'Cause you guys are a big culture. So remember in What Work, and I was talking about how when we were growing up we watched The Daily Show, and I told them us growing up, the most iconic movie in Uganda was Baby's Day Out.

    4. TNTrevor Noah22:06

       [laughs]

    5. JOJoe Opio22:08

       Baby's Day Out was bigger than Star Wars.

    6. SPSpeaker22:10

       Wait, what is Baby's Day Out?

    7. JOJoe Opio22:12

       It's... [laughs] How do I explain it?

    8. SPSpeaker22:15

       Sorry, I wasn't in Uganda.

    9. JOJoe Opio22:16

       Yes. So-

    10. SPSpeaker22:18

        What happens?

    11. JOJoe Opio22:19

        Well, it's this movie about a baby. It's, it's almost-

    12. SPSpeaker22:21

        Ah.

    13. JOJoe Opio22:21

        So, yes. [laughs]

    14. SPSpeaker22:25

        [laughs]

    15. JOJoe Opio22:25

        It's almost like, it's almost like a rip off of Home Alone.

    16. SPSpeaker22:28

        Yes.

    17. JOJoe Opio22:29

        But it's, like, a toddler, like, crawling, and then these people are trying to kidnap him, and then he... And it was a huge movie in Uganda because the comedy stemmed from the physicality of it.

    18. TNTrevor Noah22:40

        Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    19. SPSpeaker22:40

        Oh.

    20. JOJoe Opio22:40

        You didn't have to know English.

    21. SPSpeaker22:42

        Mm-hmm.

    22. JOJoe Opio22:42

        You didn't have to... So I told people at The Daily Show this movie was bigger than Star Wars, and they couldn't believe it. And then we went on Wikipedia, and it turns out even in India, that movie spent more time in cinemas-

    23. TNTrevor Noah22:55

        Baby's Day Out

    24. JOJoe Opio22:55

        ... spent more weeks in cinemas than Star Wars. And Americans, their minds were blown. They were like, "We didn't even... This was a B..." Like, you know, movies that go straight to video.

    25. TNTrevor Noah23:05

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight to, straight to VHS.

    26. JOJoe Opio23:07

        Yeah. And I, and I, and I, I told them, "That kid is an icon in Uganda. I would rather have his autograph than Harrison Ford or-"

    27. TNTrevor Noah23:15

        Yeah.

    28. SPSpeaker23:16

        Or Gene Hackman.

    29. JOJoe Opio23:16

        Yes. So it's that. Like, you are s- you are forced to consume Star Wars, but then also you are forced to consume... So Americans understand Jackie Chan, 'cause Jackie Chan is big in America, but he was huge in Africa.

    30. TNTrevor Noah23:29

        Yeah.
13. 25:55 – 30:05

    South African Twitter Vernac Beef

    1. TNTrevor Noah25:55

       It's Peter Dinklage.

    2. JOJoe Opio25:56

       Look at you being cultured, yes.

    3. TNTrevor Noah25:57

       Trying.

    4. JOJoe Opio25:57

       Yes.

    5. TNTrevor Noah25:57

       Trying.

    6. JOJoe Opio25:58

       Not Swordfish, but okay.

    7. TNTrevor Noah25:59

       Yes. So I was... So we're trying. So we go and watch Shakes- Every sentence started in the kind of English that I know.

    8. JOJoe Opio26:08

       Okay.

    9. TNTrevor Noah26:08

       And then it ended in, like, some Shakespearean stuff-

    10. JOJoe Opio26:10

        Yes

    11. TNTrevor Noah26:10

        ... that didn't make any sense. You know what I mean?

    12. JOJoe Opio26:12

        Okay. Mm-hmm.

    13. TNTrevor Noah26:13

        I didn't see one person saying, "Why do they do that? Why did Shakespeare do that?"

    14. JOJoe Opio26:17

        Because it was still English.

    15. TNTrevor Noah26:18

        No, but he made up words. There's random words that weren't English-

    16. JOJoe Opio26:20

        Yes

    17. TNTrevor Noah26:20

        ... that he made

    18. JOJoe Opio26:21

        ... he was, he was a wordsmith. That's what-

    19. TNTrevor Noah26:22

        Cockle popcorn.

    20. JOJoe Opio26:22

        Yeah. No, that's what, that's what a wordsmith does. But I'm saying-

    21. TNTrevor Noah26:25

        Yeah, so-

    22. JOJoe Opio26:25

        ... you guys begin in one. You know-

    23. TNTrevor Noah26:27

        Yes

    24. JOJoe Opio26:27

        ... you know, it's almost like-

    25. TNTrevor Noah26:27

        So let me explain why.

    26. JOJoe Opio26:28

        Okay.

    27. TNTrevor Noah26:28

        Let me explain why. So since you wanted to take it there. There's a thing called apartheid, Joe.

    28. JOJoe Opio26:33

        Okay.

    29. TNTrevor Noah26:34

        Okay?

    30. JOJoe Opio26:35

        Seems I missed out. Okay. [laughs]
14. 30:05 – 33:05

    Trevor Defends Code-Switching with Sean Paul

    1. TNTrevor Noah30:05

       seem like I did not miss yet

    2. JOJoe Opio30:06

       ... listen, if you listen to reggae, ragga-

    3. TNTrevor Noah30:07

       Let me tell you something now

    4. JOJoe Opio30:08

       ... for the lyrics-

    5. TNTrevor Noah30:08

       Give me the popping now, like, well, give me the pop in now, like, well

    6. JOJoe Opio30:10

       ... you're listening, you're listening to it wrong

    7. TNTrevor Noah30:11

       ... give me the, give me the block.

    8. JOJoe Opio30:12

       That's what I'm saying.

    9. TNTrevor Noah30:12

       See when I be, block when they come, now give me up.

    10. JOJoe Opio30:13

        [laughs] Eugene, that's what I'm saying.

    11. TNTrevor Noah30:15

        And now they stop, now give love.

    12. JOJoe Opio30:16

        [laughs]

    13. TNTrevor Noah30:17

        Like, where did, where did the sentence start?

    14. JOJoe Opio30:18

        No, no, no.

    15. TNTrevor Noah30:18

        But you brought me in with one thing.

    16. JOJoe Opio30:20

        But no one listens-

    17. TNTrevor Noah30:20

        Just give me the light

    18. JOJoe Opio30:21

        ... but no one listens to-

    19. TNTrevor Noah30:22

        Yeah, yeah

    20. JOJoe Opio30:22

        ... no, but no one listens to reggae for the rhythm.

    21. TNTrevor Noah30:23

        Just give me the light. Okay, give me the light. Just give me the... Then they... Then they blop, then they fresh me and lop

    22. JOJoe Opio30:30

        You listen for the-

    23. TNTrevor Noah30:30

        No, blep, blep

    24. JOJoe Opio30:30

        ... you listen for the beats

    25. TNTrevor Noah30:31

        Yes, blep, blep

    26. JOJoe Opio30:32

        No one listens to-

    27. TNTrevor Noah30:34

        Yeah

    28. JOJoe Opio30:34

        ... come on. Yeah.

    29. TNTrevor Noah30:35

        So, so that-

    30. JOJoe Opio30:35

        Hmm
15. 33:05 – 45:02

    How Trevor & Joe Met at Comedy Cellar

    1. SPSpeaker33:05

       just-

    2. JOJoe Opio33:05

       [laughs]

    3. SPSpeaker33:05

       ... so in that vein, just to establish us so that we know, oh, okay.

    4. TNTrevor Noah33:09

       Okay.

    5. SPSpeaker33:10

       This is... 'Cause if, let's say Joe was your brother, then you could go, "This is my brother. A few antidotes for... an- anecdotes from me-"

    6. TNTrevor Noah33:16

       Also antidotes.

    7. JOJoe Opio33:17

       Yeah.

    8. SPSpeaker33:17

       Oh, yes. That. You know, you know what I'm saying? This is my-

    9. JOJoe Opio33:20

       The f- no, the funny thing is-

    10. SPSpeaker33:21

        This is my-

    11. JOJoe Opio33:21

        ... I feel we're gonna have very conflicting-

    12. SPSpeaker33:22

        Okay. So here the way it is, you just brought some cab driver from New York.

    13. TNTrevor Noah33:25

        [laughs]

    14. JOJoe Opio33:25

        [laughs]

    15. SPSpeaker33:25

        Put him at the table, and are interviewing him. So that's the feeling we're getting. Lost in space.

    16. JOJoe Opio33:31

        You know what, you know what it sounds like?

    17. TNTrevor Noah33:32

        Cab driver.

    18. JOJoe Opio33:32

        It sounds like Tre- it sounds like Dave is going, like, you need to esta- so that he... It feels like he thinks Ice might read this, and you need to establish the relationship. Yeah.

    19. TNTrevor Noah33:41

        No, no, no.

    20. JOJoe Opio33:41

        He-

    21. TNTrevor Noah33:41

        I'll tell you what's happened. I'll tell you what happened. Dave h- has lived in New York for too long. And in New York, and in America-

    22. JOJoe Opio33:48

        Oh

    23. TNTrevor Noah33:49

        ... the number one phrase people love asking is, "So how do you guys know each other?"

    24. JOJoe Opio33:52

        Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

    25. TNTrevor Noah33:53

        So, like-

    26. JOJoe Opio33:54

        Hmm

    27. TNTrevor Noah33:54

        ... how do you guys know each other?

    28. JOJoe Opio33:55

        Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

    29. TNTrevor Noah33:55

        Like, where did you guys meet? So, like, how did you guys, how do you guys know each other?

    30. JOJoe Opio33:58

        How do you know the birthday boy?
16. 45:02 – 55:50

    Joe Gives Notes to Louis C.K.

    1. JOJoe Opio45:02

       Yeah, are you the one who gave Louis C.K...?" Then I go like, "Yeah, I told him how to change." Then he go like, "Oh, people have been texting me like, 'Yo, Trevor, there's an African African comedian. Forget you. This one sounds like an African African.'" [laughs]

    2. TNTrevor Noah45:15

       [laughs]

    3. TNTrevor Noah45:15

       [laughs]

    4. JOJoe Opio45:15

       So then we... [laughs]

    5. TNTrevor Noah45:17

       [laughs]

    6. JOJoe Opio45:17

       He goes like, "This one sounds like, yes, like he just jumped out of, like, you know, Coming to America or those movies." So then we go up, and then we start, like, talking.

    7. TNTrevor Noah45:26

       Are you still holding the jacket?

    8. JOJoe Opio45:27

       No, no, I've given it back to him.

    9. TNTrevor Noah45:29

       Okay.

    10. JOJoe Opio45:29

        Yeah, no, I'm not that kind of guy.

    11. TNTrevor Noah45:30

        'Cause Este made that mistake. [laughs]

    12. JOJoe Opio45:32

        [laughs] So then we go up, and this was around, like, 8:00, 8:30, and then we just start talking. And we talk, like, I think up to, like, 5:00.

    13. TNTrevor Noah45:39

        Hmm.

    14. JOJoe Opio45:39

        Just talking about soccer, life, comedy, and then you went like, "Oh, this was fun. We should do it again." Again, critical mistake, 'cause I'm there every night. Comes back the next night. We hang out, and that's when you told me about Dave. You went like, "Oh, no, I contacted Dave. Oh, and Dave thinks you're a cool guy, a good guy. You know, we're all good people. Oh, we should hang out." And I feel like that's when we started to hang out, and then that's when we had the incident with Neil Brennan.

    15. TNTrevor Noah46:08

        Yeah, but pause there. So I'll, I'll tell you how this unfolded for me.

    16. JOJoe Opio46:11

        Hmm.

    17. TNTrevor Noah46:12

        Okay. So I was born a wee lad-

    18. JOJoe Opio46:15

        [laughs]

    19. TNTrevor Noah46:15

        [laughs]

    20. TNTrevor Noah46:15

        ... in South Africa.

    21. JOJoe Opio46:17

        In a haggis port land, yes.

    22. TNTrevor Noah46:17

        On a rainy, rainy Monday.

    23. JOJoe Opio46:19

        [laughs]

    24. TNTrevor Noah46:20

        Ah, they say that my mother turned to me as I came out of her womb.

    25. JOJoe Opio46:25

        [laughs]

    26. TNTrevor Noah46:25

        [laughs]

    27. TNTrevor Noah46:25

        No. [upbeat music] This is, from my side of the story, this is what happened.

    28. JOJoe Opio46:32

        Yeah.

    29. TNTrevor Noah46:33

        I, we used to go to the Comedy Cellar all the time. I'm doing my thing. All of a sudden, I start getting texts from random people. "Yo, is this guy your friend? Yo, who's this guy?" Basically, every text, it's basically, "Come get your mans."

    30. JOJoe Opio46:46

        [laughs]
17. 55:50 – 1:05:26

    The Baby-Throwing Park Panic

    1. JOJoe Opio55:50

       Africa that-

    2. TNTrevor Noah55:50

       Yeah, but even, even baby dynamics.

    3. JOJoe Opio55:51

       No, no. I, I... 'Cause I know one thing about babies. I've had, like, I have a niece, a... So kids j-

    4. TNTrevor Noah55:57

       Kids love to play

    5. JOJoe Opio55:57

       ... so the thing, the thing I love with n- with kids-

    6. TNTrevor Noah55:59

       Mm

    7. JOJoe Opio56:00

       ... is what you see is what you get. They're not like adults.

    8. TNTrevor Noah56:02

       Yes.

    9. JOJoe Opio56:02

       You have fun with them. They give... So w- I had, I had-

    10. TNTrevor Noah56:05

        I'm, I'm actually thinking about the babies

    11. JOJoe Opio56:06

        ... listen, I had another experience like that. So I was at a-

    12. TNTrevor Noah56:08

        You've done it again?

    13. JOJoe Opio56:08

        No, no, no. I was at a park.

    14. TNTrevor Noah56:10

        Oh my goodness.

    15. JOJoe Opio56:10

        [laughs] 'Cause it's, it's instinctive. Listen, I was at a park with-

    16. TNTrevor Noah56:14

        Kesh Patel

    17. JOJoe Opio56:15

        ... listen, I was-

    18. TNTrevor Noah56:15

        We don't know this guy.

    19. JOJoe Opio56:16

        [laughs] At FBI.

    20. TNTrevor Noah56:18

        What the...

    21. JOJoe Opio56:19

        At Steven Miller.

    22. TNTrevor Noah56:20

        What are you... Oh.

    23. JOJoe Opio56:21

        At-

    24. TNTrevor Noah56:21

        Two failed attempted human trafficking.

    25. JOJoe Opio56:23

        At, at White House.

    26. TNTrevor Noah56:25

        Come. No.

    27. JOJoe Opio56:26

        [laughs] I'm out.

    28. TNTrevor Noah56:26

        My visa is still two years.

    29. JOJoe Opio56:28

        I don't want to be, I don't want to be... [laughs] No, here's the thing. So we were at the park. I was with a friend who has kids, you know, cut, right? You know, cut, r- r- right. And we, we... So this kid, you know, who's on-

    30. TNTrevor Noah56:38

        Who's we?
18. 1:05:26 – 1:08:14

    Why Joe Is Never Upset

    1. JOJoe Opio1:05:26

       walk in at 4:00. This game was supposed to start at 2:00, and Trevor and Dave walk in full of apologies. And then I go like, "Why are you guys apologizing?" Like, 'cause other people would be upset, and Trevor tells me, "Oh, people will be upset because we made a plan. You're supposed to watch." Then I'm like, why though? Like, why would they be upset? Like, you and Dave wanted to watch the game. We planned to watch the game, but you didn't show up in time, on time. That means something more urgent came up or you were held up. You are not hiding somewhere around the corner going like, "Ooh, let's make Joe wait." Something else came up. And then Trevor goes like, "Ah, but I don't... But, you know, other people will be upset. You know, maybe disrespecting."

    2. TNTrevor Noah1:06:03

       This was your good Trevor, yeah?

    3. JOJoe Opio1:06:04

       Yes.

    4. TNTrevor Noah1:06:04

       That's him.

    5. JOJoe Opio1:06:04

       Yes. Maybe-

    6. TNTrevor Noah1:06:05

       That's-

    7. JOJoe Opio1:06:05

       Maybe disrespect... Then, then-

    8. TNTrevor Noah1:06:07

       Joe, yeah

    9. JOJoe Opio1:06:07

       ... then again, then I told him, "No. Why would, why would they be-"

    10. TNTrevor Noah1:06:09

        Do that, do that apology. Sorry. Sorry.

    11. JOJoe Opio1:06:10

        So Trevor is going like, "Oh, other people feel, feel res- disrespected, their time." Then I go like, "No, but it wasn't my time. It was your time. You basically-"

    12. TNTrevor Noah1:06:20

        You were the one who was not here.

    13. JOJoe Opio1:06:21

        Yeah, no, no, you, you lent me your time. It wasn't... I, I, I'm not entitled to your time. You told me, "Let's meet at 2:00."

    14. TNTrevor Noah1:06:28

        Mm.

    15. JOJoe Opio1:06:28

        But it wasn't my time. It was your time. You just lent it to me.

    16. TNTrevor Noah1:06:32

        Mm.

    17. JOJoe Opio1:06:32

        But I was entitled to it. So then I go like, "I can't be upset. Let's... The game, the game, you recorded it." You remember? You went like, "Oh, I-"

    18. TNTrevor Noah1:06:38

        Yeah, yeah.

    19. JOJoe Opio1:06:38

        So then we watched the game. And then I was... 'Cause for me, I don't understand why, like... So so- something small like that. Let's say I arrange a date with a girl and I t- I don't turn up on time. She shouldn't be upset. She should go like, "Oh, Joe wanted to have this date. Joe wanted to have this dinner with me, but for some reason he didn't. Something must have come up." Instead of putting yourself first, going like, "Me, me, me, I d- I got disrespected. Me, me, me, this and that," go like, "Oh, why did the other person not... " Because think about it this way. If you plan a dinner date or to watch a game, and then you don't turn up on time, and then I find out you were in an accident, I don't get upset Does that make sense?

    20. SPSpeaker1:07:19

        Mm-hmm.

    21. JOJoe Opio1:07:19

        'Cause I stopped putting myself first.

    22. SPSpeaker1:07:20

        Mm.

    23. JOJoe Opio1:07:21

        I stopped going like, "Oh, me, me." I started going, "Oh, my God. Are you okay?"

    24. SPSpeaker1:07:23

        Mm. Yeah.

    25. JOJoe Opio1:07:23

        "Where are you?" Yeah, so for me, that's how I, that's how I look at most things. I don't sweat the small things. I remember when I told you about the relationship I have with my family, right, with my sisters and... 'Cause my s- my family, my siblings have access to all my money, to my bank accounts. Remember?

    26. SPSpeaker1:07:37

        Mm-hmm.

    27. JOJoe Opio1:07:38

        I told you this, and then you went like, "What? What if they stole the money?" Now, I'm lucky that my family, we're very close-knit, but also you went like, "But what if?" Then I went like, I wouldn't sweat it. I genuinely wouldn't, 'cause I would go like, oh, they know they can ask me for the money. They know they have access to the money. So if they stole it, that means they were so desperate. Something must have come up, right? And I would rather they steal my money than go steal a stranger's money. 'Cause if they steal a stranger's money, now it's courts, now it's prison, now it's this. Now my mom is stressed, my dad is stressed. Now there's too much stress.

    28. SPSpeaker1:08:13

        Yeah.

    29. JOJoe Opio1:08:13

        But if they

19. 1:08:14 – 1:17:14

    Joe’s “Hashtag Winning” Philosophy

    1. JOJoe Opio1:08:14

       steal my money, then I'll go like, oh, that means they needed it more than I needed it. I've a- I've had this same mentality when we were in school, boarding school in Uganda. People would go like, oh, like, you know, leaving your suitcase, like, they would pull, like-

    2. SPSpeaker1:08:28

       Lock them. Yeah

    3. JOJoe Opio1:08:29

       ... lock them and everything. And I'd go like, "No. Why?" If someone, someone can approach me and ask me for something, if they feel the need to go and steal, which, you know, results in expulsion and suspension-

    4. SPSpeaker1:08:40

       Yeah

    5. JOJoe Opio1:08:40

       ... they needed that thing. They really des- they need, they need that thing more than I needed it.

    6. SPSpeaker1:08:45

       Here's a question, then.

    7. JOJoe Opio1:08:46

       So-

    8. SPSpeaker1:08:47

       Even in terms of, okay, let's just say okay, that I can get conceptually.

    9. JOJoe Opio1:08:51

       Okay.

    10. SPSpeaker1:08:51

        But then how do you deal with, like, being a morning person? Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you're just in a bad mood because you didn't get enough sleep.

    11. JOJoe Opio1:09:01

        I don't believe in the concept of so much sleep, and Trevor knows this, and you know this as well. 'Cause I go like, I'm winning so much at life, I don't want to sleep. 'Cause if you're sleeping, then you're not winning. You're just lying there.

    12. SPSpeaker1:09:15

        [laughs]

    13. JOJoe Opio1:09:15

        You're not actively... No, no. No, sleeping is one of the only activities where you're not actively enjoying the thing. So when I'm watching a soccer game, I go like, "Wow, this is amazing." When I'm watching a Broadway show, I go... When I'm having a conversation, I'm eating food, I go like, "Oh, this is delicious. This is amazing." When I'm sleeping, I'm like this glass. I'm not actively enjoying the thing. Now, I understand the benefit of sleep. You're fresh and all this. But I'm going like, for me, sleeping is like being on social media. People who win are not on social media, 'cause they're busy winning at life. They're busy enjoying life.

    14. SPSpeaker1:09:49

        Hmm.

    15. JOJoe Opio1:09:49

        Sleeping means... So me, when I was youn- when I was a bit, you know, in my teenage years, I also go like, "Yo, if I make it, I'll watch every show. I'll watch every, I'll read every book. I'll, you know, I'll do things." And now I'm at that stage in my life where I really could watch every show, because you're a member of the Guild. They give you all these screenings. I could read every book, 'cause I'm in New York, I can access them. The one thing I don't have is time. I don't have enough time to do it, 'cause you only have 24 hours in a day. So I want to spend a minimum of those hours sleeping. 'Cause sleep, you know, the-

    16. SPSpeaker1:10:23

        As little as possible

    17. JOJoe Opio1:10:24

        ... as little as possible. 'Cause I have things to do. I have w-

    18. SPSpeaker1:10:26

        Yeah

    19. JOJoe Opio1:10:26

        ... I, we, we play soccer up to 2:00. I have things to do. So sleeping, because it's the one thing I don't actively enjoy, is one thing... So I sleep, and Trevor knows this. I sleep. And you have seen me. We've gone on vacations.

    20. SPSpeaker1:10:38

        Yeah, yeah. No, Joe sleeps three, four hours.

    21. JOJoe Opio1:10:38

        I sleep at most three hours a day. [laughs] Three hours a day.

    22. SPSpeaker1:10:41

        Yeah, he has... I, I think you have that gene that... I, I s- I spoke to a, um, [ts] uh, a doctor who works in, like, gene editing. Uh, and he told me that there's some people who are genetically predisposed to not needing sleep. I think you're one of those people, 'cause I've been with... Remember, we went to the World Cup together.

    23. JOJoe Opio1:10:56

        We've gone to two only. Mm.

    24. SPSpeaker1:10:57

        So, yeah, two World Cups, actually.

    25. JOJoe Opio1:10:59

        Yeah. Russia and Qatar. Mm.

    26. SPSpeaker1:11:00

        And, you know, people can tell you who they are all they want. When you spend almost 24 hours a day with them over a certain period of time, the cracks start to show. I went with this guy. We went to every game, and then we went to events afterwards, and then in the morning we did something else. And the, this man does not sleep, and he's fine with it. Like, three, four hours a night maximum. But more than that, to Dave's point, even when we couldn't get those hours' sleep, I was grumpy.

    27. JOJoe Opio1:11:30

        I remember. [laughs]

    28. SPSpeaker1:11:32

        What, what did he sound like when he was grumpy?

    29. JOJoe Opio1:11:33

        I remember. No, he would just refuse. We went shooting, and he just went like, "No, I'm done partying."

    30. SPSpeaker1:11:37

        Yeah, yeah.
20. 1:17:14 – 1:28:19

    Joe’s Weird Hourly Alarm Sleep Hack

    1. JOJoe Opio1:17:14

       which was illegal-

    2. TNTrevor Noah1:17:15

       [laughs]

    3. JOJoe Opio1:17:15

       ... 'cause you couldn't bring in a radio, but we found a way. So BBC Sports was like, that was our thing, me and a group of other football, like soccer-loving guys. So we'd listen to BBC Sports to hear the roundup of the news, what happened in the Premier League, what happened in Champions League. Then from, it would end at around midnight thirty. Then from midnight thirty, everyone else is sleeping. Midnight thirty to, like, 3:00, now we are discussing what happened. You know soccer, like you discuss.

    4. TNTrevor Noah1:17:40

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    5. JOJoe Opio1:17:40

       So discussing, discussing, discussing. This was our moment where we went like, "Oh, now we're in control of our moment." And then we'd go to bed at around 4:00. Then you have to wake up at 6:00. And we used to do this 'cause BBC Sports was there every day.

    6. TNTrevor Noah1:17:52

       Yeah.

    7. JOJoe Opio1:17:53

       And we used to do this every day. Now, I don't know whether the other guys kept it up.

    8. SPSpeaker1:17:56

       They're dead probably.

    9. JOJoe Opio1:17:58

       [laughs]

    10. TNTrevor Noah1:17:58

        [laughs] Yes, but the th- the thing is you guys were able to do it as a group.

    11. JOJoe Opio1:18:03

        Yes.

    12. TNTrevor Noah1:18:03

        So that's conditioning.

    13. JOJoe Opio1:18:04

        I think I made it.

    14. TNTrevor Noah1:18:05

        Yes, guys. You, you're not hearing what I'm saying.

    15. JOJoe Opio1:18:07

        Mm-hmm.

    16. TNTrevor Noah1:18:07

        I'm not disputing the merits of conditioning. It is possible for a human being to do things that they couldn't do before by doing something repeatedly. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying there is an extra element-

    17. JOJoe Opio1:18:19

        Mm

    18. TNTrevor Noah1:18:19

        ... that now creates what we call the super athlete or the... There'll be people who have memories that are outsized.

    19. JOJoe Opio1:18:25

        100%.

    20. TNTrevor Noah1:18:25

        There are people who will be able to jump or run faster because their muscles twitch in a different way.

    21. JOJoe Opio1:18:31

        Yes, yes.

    22. TNTrevor Noah1:18:31

        So I'm saying you have that for sleep. But what's more impressive to me, because genes are genes, you don't choose them. What's more impressive to me, and I think it's to what Dave was alluding to, is, you see, you, you dismissed it very quickly as like, "I have a positive attitude because my life's going well. I work at The Daily Show, and I live in America, and I, I got to do..." Yeah, but I'm like, but you've constantly taken that framing even when the winning is not apparent. Does that make sense? So now it seems obvious because you work at The Daily Show, and now it seems obvious because you work in New York and you're in America, and you, you, you... So then it-

    23. JOJoe Opio1:19:09

        Well-

    24. TNTrevor Noah1:19:09

        ... it's like, oh, that's like an obvious.

    25. JOJoe Opio1:19:10

        Mm-hmm. Mm.

    26. TNTrevor Noah1:19:11

        But if I took The Daily Show away from you-

    27. JOJoe Opio1:19:13

        It would affect me, 'cause I was-

    28. TNTrevor Noah1:19:14

        You would still go-

    29. JOJoe Opio1:19:14

        Yeah, I was me without The Daily Show

    30. TNTrevor Noah1:19:16

        ... you see?
21. 1:28:19 – 1:45:38

    Joe’s Pep Talk That Saved Trevor

    1. TNTrevor Noah1:28:19

       the world that we're getting read..." Then I was like, "Yeah, but you guys are terrible." Then you're like, "Yeah, but oof, [inhales] that means we're gonna rebuild this." That's what... Do you understand what I'm trying to say right now?

    2. JOJoe Opio1:28:27

       That is the... Yes. It's-

    3. TNTrevor Noah1:28:28

       Because, because now that's not a forg- that's not a foregone c- Th- there is no guarantee that Barcelona will get better

    4. JOJoe Opio1:28:32

       ... No, I, I always look at it the same way. When, when we lost to Liverpool, remember?

    5. TNTrevor Noah1:28:35

       Yes.

    6. JOJoe Opio1:28:36

       I go like, "Oh, but it was a great game." I don't... 'Cause, 'cause also soccer is entertainment. So for me, the way I look at it, I think you said it. I think I'm borrowing from... The thing you are doing at The Daily Show, I felt the thing you're doing at The Daily Show when everything wasn't going great, is you are complaining and bitching about a bird shitting on your Ferrari. But you have a Ferrari. How many other people would rather have... 'Cause you can clean the bird poo off the Ferrari.

    7. TNTrevor Noah1:29:04

       Yeah, you can, you can clean the bird shit off

    8. JOJoe Opio1:29:05

       You still have the Ferrari. Yes.

    9. TNTrevor Noah1:29:06

       Yeah.

    10. JOJoe Opio1:29:06

        How many other people would go like, "I would rather have that Ferrari with the bird poo, but at least I have a Ferrari"? So people mo- many times people focus on the bird poo instead of focusing on the Ferrari. And for me, I call it wasted stress.

    11. TNTrevor Noah1:29:19

        You call it what?

    12. JOJoe Opio1:29:20

        Wasted stress.

    13. TNTrevor Noah1:29:20

        Yeah.

    14. JOJoe Opio1:29:21

        Like, wasted stress. So when, for example, when I came to The Daily Show, there was a writer who came and told me she had been writing there seven years, and she told me every day when they gave her script to write, she thought it was the last day at work. She thought she would write such a bad script she would get fired. And I just go like, "So wait, you've done this for seven years. Every day of those seven years you haven't enjoyed this experience at all because you're stressed about losing this thing."

    15. TNTrevor Noah1:29:50

        Yeah.

    16. JOJoe Opio1:29:51

        And I was like, "No." I told her, "No, if I lost The Daily Show, I would go like, 'Oh, thank God I'm going to get The Daily Show better.'" I look at it the way, if, if you dated Beyoncé, you can either spend the whole time, or if you're married to Beyoncé, you can e- either spend the whole time worrying that Beyoncé's going to dump you, or you can enjoy it and go like, "Hey, if Beyoncé dumps me, if Rihanna, Rihanna dumps me, I'll get something better than R- 'cause I could get Rihanna. Why do I think she's the best I can get? That means I can get the same or better." And so it's that. I feel like people spend... And I think it's also people do it because it's seen as a sign of adulting, like always worrying about stuff-

    17. TNTrevor Noah1:30:31

        Mm-hmm

    18. JOJoe Opio1:30:31

        ... always being anxious, and I don't believe in that. Because my mom told me, "You should never grow up. You shouldn't-

    19. TNTrevor Noah1:30:36

        Mm.

    20. JOJoe Opio1:30:36

        Until you've grown up, you should never grow up." And I'm like, "Oh, how will I know?" She was like, "You'll know. But don't grow up," 'cause we are always forced to grow up. Like, worry. In school, people always be worried. It's like, "You're a kid, why are you worried? Just enjoy this experience." Again, at The Daily Show, I remember, um, you hired this, uh, producer, and after two weeks she had never said anything in the meeting, and she comes to me and she goes like, "Yo, can I have a word?" And I went like, "Oh, what's up?" Then she went like, "How do you, how come you confidently pitch jokes and takes in a meeting, yet you have an accent? How come that doesn't, like, hold you back? 'Cause me, every time I try to say something, I start second-guessing myself. 'Oh, is it smart enough? Would I seem dumb? Oh, this...'" And then I told her, "I don't think about that. I feel like I belong in the room because I'm in the room. I don't feel any less smart because of my accent. I feel..." So then I told her, it's like, and again, wrong, wrong analogy. I said, I said, "It's like being on Epstein's island." No one is going around going like, "Hey, what do..." Everyone assumes you're a billionaire celebrity and you belong

    21. TNTrevor Noah1:31:41

        Was this the analogy you used then?

    22. JOJoe Opio1:31:43

        I used the-

    23. TNTrevor Noah1:31:43

        This is-

    24. JOJoe Opio1:31:43

        I used the analogy of like-

    25. TNTrevor Noah1:31:44

        We were-

    26. JOJoe Opio1:31:45

        I used-

    27. TNTrevor Noah1:31:45

        Wow

    28. JOJoe Opio1:31:45

        ... I used Illuminati

    29. TNTrevor Noah1:31:46

        ... this is-

    30. JOJoe Opio1:31:47

        But-
22. 1:45:38 – 1:54:00

    Joe’s Obsession: 25+ Cruises Explained

    1. JOJoe Opio1:45:38

       then I turned up

    2. TNTrevor Noah1:45:39

       ... three years in, 12 cruises deep

    3. JOJoe Opio1:45:40

       ... yes, I turned up and they went like, and because of probably the way I was dressed, 'cause it was cocktail, but I was dressed the way I want.

    4. TNTrevor Noah1:45:47

       [laughs]

    5. JOJoe Opio1:45:47

       And I think they went like, "Oh, this must be one of the, you know, w-

    6. TNTrevor Noah1:45:51

       Somali pirates

    7. JOJoe Opio1:45:51

       ... workers."

    8. TNTrevor Noah1:45:52

       Oh.

    9. JOJoe Opio1:45:52

       Oh, yes. So, so, so I turn, and yeah, exactly.

    10. TNTrevor Noah1:45:56

        [laughs]

    11. JOJoe Opio1:45:56

        Somali pirates raiding the ship. No, so I turn up, and then I was the only Black guy there.

    12. TNTrevor Noah1:46:02

        Hmm.

    13. JOJoe Opio1:46:02

        One, I was the only guy under 40, and so they go like, "Whoa, so how did you end up..." They were, they were really surprised. And I, I, and I went like, "Every chance I get. Every chance I get."

    14. TNTrevor Noah1:46:15

        Hmm.

    15. JOJoe Opio1:46:16

        So for me, I do this, and I do this with food as well. If I find something I enjoy, I do that thing and I, I will do it. I won't try to, like, venture out.

    16. TNTrevor Noah1:46:26

        Oh, you don't value add.

    17. JOJoe Opio1:46:27

        Yeah. Same, same thing with, like, y- when I eat. When I, when I go out with you, I eat the same Indian food every time.

    18. TNTrevor Noah1:46:32

        Yeah.

    19. JOJoe Opio1:46:33

        And you sometimes go like, "Oh, Joe, try." And I go like, "No, but I found the thing that I like."

    20. TNTrevor Noah1:46:35

        Yeah.

    21. JOJoe Opio1:46:36

        So why should I try to ... I found the thing that works for me. And so I feel like it could also be, like, you know, when, when, when, the way I was brought up, 'cause my mom, again, to go back to her, so my mom taught me, like, certain things. One of the biggest lessons she gave me, I remember, one of the biggest lessons, and she doesn't even remember it 'cause mothers are like that. They say things and they don't think about them. So when we were teenagers, you know, you start sneaking around. Boys start sneaking around with girls, you know, corners around.

    22. TNTrevor Noah1:47:04

        Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    23. JOJoe Opio1:47:05

        Yeah.

    24. TNTrevor Noah1:47:05

        Yeah.

    25. JOJoe Opio1:47:05

        And my mom, I remember, told me, and I was too young to even think about girls like that. And she was like, "Hey, if you ever want to get a girl, please don't be like these friends of yours who we see at the side of gates, you know, in dark corners. Bring the girl home. Bring the girl home and let's meet her." And sh- so she told me, "Whatever decision you make, it should always be for you."

    26. TNTrevor Noah1:47:27

        Hmm.

    27. JOJoe Opio1:47:27

        That makes sense.

    28. TNTrevor Noah1:47:28

        Hmm.

    29. JOJoe Opio1:47:28

        "Whatever decision," she told me, "You can, if you want to do drugs, if you want to rob a bank, if you want to beat up teachers, do it for you. I'll back you 100% of the way. The only thing I never want you to do is to try to pass the blame. So when you're, like, sowing, sowing, sowing, when the reaping comes, I don't want you to go like, 'Oh, I was peer pressured by my friends-

    30. TNTrevor Noah1:47:52

        Hmm
23. 1:54:00 – 2:06:31

    Uganda’s Crazy Global History Moments

    1. JOJoe Opio1:54:00

       leaving, a Ugandan sniper takes out the commander of the Israel commandos.

    2. TNTrevor Noah1:54:07

       Yo, what?

    3. JOJoe Opio1:54:07

       He takes out Bibi Netanyahu's brother, and that's the incident that i- when you read Bibi Netanyahu's book, that's the incident-

    4. TNTrevor Noah1:54:15

       Mm

    5. JOJoe Opio1:54:15

       ... that radicalized him.

    6. TNTrevor Noah1:54:16

       That's his villain, villain story.

    7. JOJoe Opio1:54:17

       That's his-

    8. TNTrevor Noah1:54:18

       Yo

    9. JOJoe Opio1:54:18

       ... origin story.

    10. TNTrevor Noah1:54:18

        What?

    11. JOJoe Opio1:54:20

        That's his origin story. His brother was killed in Uganda 'cause he had come to rescue. The movie's v- th- this is a very huge ... If you talk about, if you talk to Jews-

    12. TNTrevor Noah1:54:29

        This is insane

    13. JOJoe Opio1:54:30

        ... if you talk to Jews, this is a very big historical moment in their life, like, the raid on Entebbe. And now after all that, now Zoran is causing chaos.

    14. TNTrevor Noah1:54:41

        Mm.

    15. JOJoe Opio1:54:41

        Where is he from? Uganda. For such a small country, we always ... So now, and then n- next thing you hear Trump. Most people don't know this, the story about Uganda. Uganda was supposed to be the next Palestine. It's ... It ... I think it came down to one vote. The Zionist, you know-

    16. TNTrevor Noah1:54:57

        Yeah

    17. JOJoe Opio1:54:58

        ... League sat and they went like, "Nope, we want to go to the country we're promised," and all that. But Uganda ... Be- because the British controlled Uganda, so they were, they were gonna go. And then now you have this, and then Bibi Netanyahu. So all this, Bibi Netanyahu, like, the pain he has, the radicalization, the monster he has become, is all because his brother, his oldest brother. You can imagine how, like-

    18. TNTrevor Noah1:55:18

        Damn.

    19. JOJoe Opio1:55:19

        Yes.

    20. TNTrevor Noah1:55:21

        Damn, Uganda. Huh?

    21. JOJoe Opio1:55:23

        You're not gonna believe thisss.

    22. TNTrevor Noah1:55:26

        [laughs]

    23. JOJoe Opio1:55:26

        It's almost like Swordfish.

    24. TNTrevor Noah1:55:28

        [laughs] Oh, my goodness. No.

    25. JOJoe Opio1:55:32

        Uganda is like, what's happening right now?

    26. TNTrevor Noah1:55:34

        There's gonna be some swordfish deaths.

    27. JOJoe Opio1:55:34

        No, no, I'm, I'm-

    28. TNTrevor Noah1:55:35

        I'm loving it, man

    29. JOJoe Opio1:55:37

        ... but also, like, but also, like, but also, like, look at the story we have with South Africa.

    30. TNTrevor Noah1:55:39

        Yeah.

Episode duration: 2:07:34