Tracee Ellis Ross: the actress who has lived many lives

Tracee Ellis Ross has spent a lifetime forging an independent identity. She regales Trevor and Eugene with stories of growing up in the embrace of her iconic mother, Diana Ross, building her own beauty empire with Pattern and starring on Broadway. Together, the three candidly dissect the societal pressures women face to be "chosen," the racial biases of '90s television, and how to reclaim your agency in work and love. Packed to the brim with lessons on life, love, and picking the perfect heirloom tomato, this episode is a masterclass in belonging to yourself. Subscribe for more conversations from What Now? with Trevor Noah: http://bit.ly/SubscribeTrevorNoah Or follow the podcast on your other favorite platforms... SiriusXM Apple Podcasts - https://bit.ly/WhatNowOnApplePodcasts Spotify - https://bit.ly/WhatNowOnSpotify #TraceeEllisRoss #TrevorNoah #whatnow 00:00 – Trevor's Friends Won't Stop Texting Him About Tracee 02:00 – The Heirloom Tomato Revelation 05:00 – Tracee's Life in Europe 08:00 – Growing Up at a Swiss Boarding School 12:00 – Becoming a “Child of the World” 16:00 – Tracee's Famous Friends & Her Life Outside Hollywood 21:00 – The Problem With Having Famous Friends 28:00 – Tracee's Family & the Fake Pregnancy Story 30:00 – Why the Internet Makes Up Celebrity Stories 35:00 – What Fame Taught Tracee About Reading a Room 42:00 – Why America Is Obsessed With Celebrities 45:00 – Tracee's Broadway Debut 52:00 – Building Pattern Beauty 55:00 – Dating When You're a “Whole Planet” 57:00 – The Best Dating Advice Tracee Ever Heard 01:03:00 – Success Doesn't Guarantee Love 01:05:00 – “I'm the Chooser” 01:07:00 – The Comedian Tracee Had to Eviscerate 01:11:00 – Why Girlfriends Never Got Its Due 01:17:00 – Tracee on Finding Joy 01:20:00 – How Tracee Learned to Trust Herself 01:24:00 – “What Do You Want to Do?” 01:27:00 – Gratitude vs. Compliance 01:31:00 – Choose Your Friends by How They Make You Feel 01:33:00 – What Rihanna Taught Them About Owning Your Power 01:36:00 – Tracee's Broadway Routine 01:38:00 – The Importance of Sleep

Trevor NoahhostTracee Ellis RossguestEugenehost

Aug 13, 20261h 40mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

115 min read · 22,892 words

0:00 – 2:00
Trevor's Friends Won't Stop Texting Him About Tracee
1. TNTrevor Noah
  [upbeat music] I know-
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
3. TNTrevor Noah
  ... when you have posted a bikini picture.
4. EUEugene
  [laughs]
5. TNTrevor Noah
  I know, but I am not even-
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
7. TNTrevor Noah
  ... on Instagram in that way.
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  So dead.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  I know.
10. EUEugene
  So dead.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, man. [laughs]
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Because I will just get texts. Diff-
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
14. TNTrevor Noah
  Va- very varying degrees of, "Tracee, ooh."
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
16. EUEugene
  Oh, my God. That is-
17. TNTrevor Noah
  "Tracee."
18. EUEugene
  What-
19. TNTrevor Noah
  "Damn."
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  "Yo." [laughs]
21. TNTrevor Noah
  "Yo, bro, Tracee." That's ... Then I know, okay, Tracee has just posted something. First, let me go and see what was posted so that I can understand.
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I'm dying right now.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  'Cause, 'cause w- with other people, it would be they've said or done something in public-
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes
25. TNTrevor Noah
  ... that has brought, you know what I mean-
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm
27. TNTrevor Noah
  ... great shame to them and their lineage.
28. EUEugene
  [laughs]
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
30. TNTrevor Noah
  That's what most people would be, that's what most people would be texting me about somebody.
2:00 – 5:00
The Heirloom Tomato Revelation
1. EUEugene
  who'll understand-
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Okay
3. EUEugene
  ... 'cause Trevor won't. I discovered heirloom tomatoes the other day.
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm. What color?
5. EUEugene
  Red ones.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  The yellow ones are the best.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  Yellow ones are the best?
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. I say this because I can't eat tomatoes 'cause they're too acidic.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  Okay.
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And I love tomatoes, and heirloom tomato season in the summer, sometimes I fucking do it anyway. I'm like, "Fuck it. You know what? I'm just gonna have acid reflux, and I'm doing it anyway." But the yellow ones are the least amount of acidity.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  Ah.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And they're sweeter.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Sweeter than the red?
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes. Yes. Unbelievable. And so you just discovered them?
15. TNTrevor Noah
  I just discovered them. I mean-
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm. Mm. It's a wonderful time to be.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  What were you doing that you discovered them?
18. EUEugene
  I went to the park, to the market, the Washington Square Market.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  To the... Yes.
20. EUEugene
  And then there were average tomatoes.
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
22. EUEugene
  Then I was like-
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And then there were these-
24. EUEugene
  ... "I just got paid."
25. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-mm. No. Did you go cash your paycheck and bring all your cash for them? By the way, at the farmers market now, do they take Apple Pay?
29. EUEugene
  Yeah, they do. They do.
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Okay, good.
5:00 – 8:00
Tracee's Life in Europe
1. EUEugene
  I discovered-
2. TNTrevor Noah
  No, you have to buy them
3. EUEugene
  ... how much they were, I was like, "Thank God, I'm doing well in life."
4. TNTrevor Noah
  You have to buy them.
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I understand.
6. EUEugene
  Then I took them home, and my, my life changed. I was-
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Everything in me-
8. EUEugene
  ... I was never the same again
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... wants to look up how you define heirloom tomato. Like, I know what they are, but, like-
10. EUEugene
  The more grotesque, the better.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes. By the way-
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, you mean like the farmers-
13. EUEugene
  Yeah
14. TNTrevor Noah
  ... they're like, "Ugh."
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  By the way, that's the same with nectarines.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  They're like, "Why do they look like that?" [laughs]
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Nectarines and stone fruits-
18. EUEugene
  Yes
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... when they are more blemished and they have texture on the skin-
20. EUEugene
  Yes, yes
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... they're sweeter. It's the ones that are pretty that don't have nothing-
22. EUEugene
  The more pretty-ner, the better.
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. Heirloom-
24. TNTrevor Noah
  Isn't that the, isn't that the, the general issue with American fruit? Is they've, they've-
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes
26. TNTrevor Noah
  ... made it look beautiful, and they've done that at the expense of the fruit actually being-
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, look at this
28. TNTrevor Noah
  ... delicious.
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Uh-
30. EUEugene
  No way.
8:00 – 12:00
Growing Up at a Swiss Boarding School
1. TNTrevor Noah
  go back with you.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Me growing up.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  I didn't know, I didn't know... Yeah, you, you. [laughs] I wanna go back. What do you mean you grew up in Europe?
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Okay. So I was born in, uh, Los Angeles.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And then my mom moved to New York to do The Wiz.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  Your mom, Diana Ross.
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Correct.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  Okay.
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That is who that is.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  Just, just, just so d- in case you don't know.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes. And so we, uh, were here in 1979.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes.
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And then, um, in about seventh grade, my mom was moving to Paris to do a movie that didn't happen.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  Okay.
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, but we moved to Paris, and shortly before that, she had met my stepfather, and they were dating. And he had three kids. My mom had three kids. And we moved into this beautiful apartment in Paris on the Avenue Montaigne, right three doors down from the Plaza Athénée hotel.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  Damn.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  There's some really wonderful stories about that.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Damn.
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, and then, um, we went to boarding school in Switzerland. My stepdad's kids were there, and I went to a boarding school called Le Rosey, which is in Rolle, which is just outside of Geneva.
21. TNTrevor Noah
  Do you parlez français?
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oui, je parle français.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, okay. Yeah, 'cause the way you're saying all those words. [laughs]
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Rolle.
25. TNTrevor Noah
  I was like, you, you better speak French.
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [coughs]
27. TNTrevor Noah
  You better speak French if you don't.
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oui.
29. TNTrevor Noah
  Rolle, Rolle. Rolle.
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Rolle. Rolle.
12:00 – 16:00
Becoming a “Child of the World”
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Jesus, how many does he have?
2. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs] I like how you drew that out.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, my God. That was like, what happened there?
4. TNTrevor Noah
  There was one in Bangladesh. [laughs]
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, no, no, no, no.
6. TNTrevor Noah
  In Roku.
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  How many kids do you have?
8. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs] My daughter's 19.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  19. Okay, so-
10. TNTrevor Noah
  I mean, turning 18, sorry. Turning 18.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  So you made it through the tough years.
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah.
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  But I did contemplate boarding school at thir-
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You contemplated shipping her off
16. TNTrevor Noah
  ... at 13. I ju- I ju- I just didn't have the guts to do it.
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
18. TNTrevor Noah
  I didn't have motivation.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But you did it.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  You know what would help you ship off your child?
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  A new spouse.
23. EUEugene
  'Cause alone it makes... [laughs] If I had one of those, you'd have been long gone. [laughs]
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I mean, the thing that's ridiculous, what's so ridiculous is my mom had a newsreel. [laughs]
25. EUEugene
  [laughs]
26. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I've never thought of it from that perspective. [laughs] But you did, you kind of, you put it in a, you know, different frame.
28. EUEugene
  [laughs]
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Maybe. I don't know.
30. EUEugene
  I-
16:00 – 21:00
Tracee's Famous Friends & Her Life Outside Hollywood
1. TNTrevor Noah
  on kid.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I also think now with safety and security, I mean, growing up, you know, latchkey kids and all of this, and New York is different. Being in a city is different-
3. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... growing up in, in New York versus being in the suburbs.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm-hmm.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But, um, but yeah, I mean, it, it did change my life. It's kind of interesting.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  Who was your first friend in boarding school? Like, who's the first, like, international friend you got?
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Well, there was Fabio and Fabiola, who were-
9. TNTrevor Noah
  Fabio and Fabiola.
10. EUEugene
  They were twins.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  They were twins, Brazilian. There were, um, my best friend was Mohammed Al-Khureiji and Khaled Al-Zubeidi. And, um, I dated, I mean, when you say dated at that age, like, what did we do? I don't know. We kissed on the lips once or something, maybe kissed on the cheek. But Juan Jose Puhana Fernando Luis-
12. EUEugene
  Damn
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... who's, who we called Puti. But my two best friends were Mohammed Al-Khureiji and, um, and Khaled Al-Zubeidi. And Mohammed and I are still friends.
14. EUEugene
  To this day.
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm. And I dated, um, also, I say this, it's so funny to me, but I was in love with him, um, this guy Moudy Al-Fayed.
16. EUEugene
  You've ended two relationships now. [laughs]
17. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. Just, I was just-
19. EUEugene
  Someone's, someone's gonna watch this and go-
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... just tossing them, tossing them, tossing them.
21. EUEugene
  [laughs]
22. TNTrevor Noah
  Tracee Ellis Ross.
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. I was Tracee Silberstein then. Tracee, I don't know. I, Tracee Ellis Silberstein is my real name. And, um, and then who else? Um, the, the twins, Giada and Rosie Ardizzone, these two Italian girls, had the best style in the world and changed, like, I feel like I, I un- I became a style person when I was in Switzerland.
24. TNTrevor Noah
  What was the school? Was it, like, a specialty-
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Very fancy, very expensive-
26. TNTrevor Noah
  Okay, okay
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... boarding school called Le Rosey.
28. TNTrevor Noah
  Okay.
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  L-E-R-O-S-E-Y. And for the winter season, so it was three semesters-
30. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
21:00 – 28:00
The Problem With Having Famous Friends
1. TNTrevor Noah
  the more you also have the joy of knowing different people.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  But it also means as life progresses-
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  'Cause they-
5. TNTrevor Noah
  ... your people are just everywhere.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  You don't get to, like...
8. EUEugene
  Yeah.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  There is, like, a charm of coming from a place and staying there because people go, like-
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes, yes, yes, and then you have your people. I mean, I have my group of friends. We travel every year in July together. Um, it's-
11. TNTrevor Noah
  I've seen those on Instagram.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You know that group, yeah.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Can I tell you?
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  The amount of... How can I phrase this?
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
17. TNTrevor Noah
  There are two people in my life that I loathe hanging out with in public or having people know that they're attached to me.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Huh.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  It's Tracee Ellis Ross-
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Why?
21. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and it's Idris Elba.
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, no, no, no, no. I need to understand this.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  The amount of thirst messages I get-
24. EUEugene
  [laughs]
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  What are you, are you Trevor?
26. TNTrevor Noah
  ... on your behalf.
27. EUEugene
  Secondhand thirst messages.
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  What are you? And by the way-
29. TNTrevor Noah
  Let me tell you something, Tracee
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... what are they ever people that you should set me up with-
28:00 – 30:00
Tracee's Family & the Fake Pregnancy Story
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  we knew each other in college, and now her kid is college age.
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Like, I remember when he came out. Do you know what I mean?
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah.
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Like, I remember the night we went to dinner before he ga- like, there's, like, so many things like that that are just nutty to me. But then also I have a really big family, and I'm really close with my siblings.
6. EUEugene
  Seven.
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, no, there's five of us.
8. EUEugene
  Mm.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And then there's three step-siblings. But the five of us are really close, and all of their kids, we're really close. So I'm the only one that doesn't have kids in my family. Um, so my older sister Rhonda, her son is about to turn 17, Raif. He, um, lives here in the city with her. My sister Chudney has two kids, Callaway and Everly, who were just here, came to see the play, and came over to the apartment the other day. And then Ross has two kids, um, Indigo, Leaf and Indigo. Beautiful names. And then Evan has two kids, um, Jagger and Ziggy. And so there's, like-
10. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, that's like a full-on squad
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... we have a b- big squad of a family.
12. TNTrevor Noah
  That was another thing that blew up my phone-
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
14. TNTrevor Noah
  ... is there was a post going around about you that said you were looking for a sperm donor, and then you, or you had accepted one.
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That, that, that I was pregnant.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That was the weirdest... By the way, I was like, "Was that a slow news day?" Like, what, who out of nowhere decided to come up with... And they took a picture of a pregnancy test.
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  My favorite thing was whoever was holding the pregnancy test, everyone underneath was like, "Those aren't Tracee's fingers."
20. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
21. EUEugene
  [laughs]
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  "Those aren't her nails. That's not her. Uh-uh." That shit was nuts. I thought that was crazy. I was like, "What are you guys talking about? What are you talking about?"
23. TNTrevor Noah
  I never understand things like that.
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Like, out of nowhere. Was, like, w- like, I, uh, if there had been a picture of me with, like, a bloated tummy, I would've been, like, "Okay."
25. TNTrevor Noah
  No, it just was a-
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But, like, just-
27. TNTrevor Noah
  So, so what I've learned in, in the weeks, you know, or months since that story came out is-
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
29. TNTrevor Noah
  ... there are, I don't even know if you call them, like, companies. There's, like, a bunch of people online-
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
30:00 – 35:00
Why the Internet Makes Up Celebrity Stories
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  what does that do for them?
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Uh, it gets clicks.
3. EUEugene
  Views. Clicks.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Gets views and clicks.
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And it-
6. TNTrevor Noah
  Look at how much this story, it's views and clicks-
7. EUEugene
  We're talking about it now
8. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and it gets aggregated-
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
10. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and it goes, and it blows up, and it blows up, and it blows up, and it blows up. And they're getting money from it, and then they get-
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, really?
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Like, yeah, you get paid.
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  If your tweet gets viewed a certain amount of times, you get paid. If your Facebook post-
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh
16. TNTrevor Noah
  ... gets viewed a certain amount of time, you get paid. You get... So now because we live in a world where, um-
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Clickbait is-
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah. You, you're rewarded for attention, people now use any means to get attention. So you find that's one of many stories about you.
19. EUEugene
  Oh, just the one that got popular.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  But that one just blew up. So they'll, you find they'll make up-
21. EUEugene
  Ah.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  I've seen ones about me-
23. EUEugene
  [clears throat]
24. TNTrevor Noah
  ... that range everywhere from I, like, retired with my family on an island somewhere
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
26. EUEugene
  You didn't?
27. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, with my wife and kids. I'm, like, on an island.
28. EUEugene
  You have a-
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You have a wife and kids?
30. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, apparently.
35:00 – 42:00
What Fame Taught Tracee About Reading a Room
1. EUEugene
  I, I'm shocked you don't know these things
2. TNTrevor Noah
  ... for all injuries sustained because of breaking the fall.
3. EUEugene
  Uh, what's the craziest thing? Surely your mom, like, taught you, like, crazy things that, like, you can and cannot do.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  First of all, Trevor, please don't use the word your mom, just right away.
5. EUEugene
  What must I say?
6. TNTrevor Noah
  When someone's mom is Diana Ross.
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, no, but it is my mom.
8. EUEugene
  That's my mom's name.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  No, but s- Trace, it's okay. I'll take the heat.
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, no. Okay.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
13. EUEugene
  [laughs]
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Go. Okay, go.
15. EUEugene
  [laughs]
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh my God.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, yep. Okay. Please.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  You can just say, "Oh, so..." How must I say it?
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, he said it right because with-
21. TNTrevor Noah
  You can say, "Ms. Diana Ross, your mom."
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No. Because-
23. EUEugene
  Oh, that's a nice way to say it.
24. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes.
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Okay, that's nice.
26. EUEugene
  Okay.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  Because also we mustn't pretend.
28. EUEugene
  No, no, but okay, that's a nice way to say it.
29. TNTrevor Noah
  That's, that's just for me.
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Okay.
42:00 – 45:00
Why America Is Obsessed With Celebrities
1. TNTrevor Noah
  so he turned to me and he went-
2. EUEugene
  Third kid you played against
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Like, "Who are you?"
4. TNTrevor Noah
  No, I played with. 'Cause I played against him-
5. EUEugene
  You can't say that
6. TNTrevor Noah
  ... but I also played with.
7. EUEugene
  You're gonna get sued.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, yeah, you're right. Sorry. There was a kid who was on the team that I was on.
9. EUEugene
  Thank you.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  Thank you, Eugene.
11. EUEugene
  Carry on.
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Thanks. Always looking out for me.
13. EUEugene
  I've got you.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  So the kid then, he just turned to me and he went, "What is going on?" He's like, "Why do these guys love pickleball so much?"
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
16. EUEugene
  [laughs]
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That's so cute.
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, but then he couldn't, he couldn't play. He's like, "I c-," he's like, "I can't do this. This is so distracting. Why does that guy have his shirt off?"
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
20. EUEugene
  [laughs]
21. TNTrevor Noah
  And one of the guys had his shirt off and was swinging it around, and they were cheering. [laughs]
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That's amazing.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  I wish people would be more like that. Just, like, just acknowledge it.
24. EUEugene
  Or be obvious.
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And, yeah.
26. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah. Be, like, super, super obvious.
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I mean, people get-
28. TNTrevor Noah
  As soon as Tracee Ellis Ross sits down next to you, just be like, "Tracee Ellis Ross just sat down next to me."
29. EUEugene
  [laughs]
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
45:00 – 52:00
Tracee's Broadway Debut
1. TNTrevor Noah
  them to our partner programs. They're also introducing Verizon Shine, where now every Monday, you can snag once in a lifetime experiences like NFL tickets across the globe, all-inclusive music festivals, and the chance to meet your favorite stars. Plus, daily drops, tickets, and presale access all week. So let's recap. Cash back in your pocket every month with Verizon Dollars and epic experiences from Verizon Shine every Monday all year round. Now, those are some rewarding rewards. Only from Verizon. Enroll today at verizon.com. Is this your first time on Broadway? No.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  My debut.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  I heard that the other day and I was like, "That can't be true."
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And it's a one-person show, a Tony-nominated one-person show.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  No.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. It's amazing. J- Oh.
7. EUEugene
  Give him the fist bump if you don't want to.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Is this something you do with other people?
10. TNTrevor Noah
  How, how, how is this the first time?
11. EUEugene
  The finger, the finger touch forces us to engage.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, that, it's very intimate.
13. EUEugene
  And also the attention that is required.
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, you have to take-
15. EUEugene
  Unlike a fist bump-
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... a lot of focus
17. EUEugene
  ... which is very random.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, I know, and it's like, "Bleh," you know?
19. EUEugene
  Yeah, bleh. And, but the next level of it is l- locking in eye contact while-
20. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs] No, no, that is too much.
21. EUEugene
  Okay, sharp.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  No, no.
23. EUEugene
  You were telling us about this show.
24. TNTrevor Noah
  No, sir. No, I-
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  We'll get there. We're not there yet.
26. EUEugene
  [laughs]
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That's, we've gone too far. [laughs]
28. EUEugene
  No, but, no, but congratulations.
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Thank you. It's been really exciting.
30. EUEugene
  Well, that I-
52:00 – 55:00
Building Pattern Beauty
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  fun, and I played a-
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Blob.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, it was like a blob. Um, I also just did another one, um, that isn't out yet about the planets that was fantastic.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm.
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That is all about the relationship of the solar system.
6. TNTrevor Noah
  The solar system? Yeah.
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But we're, um, you know, humanized. And I played, I wanna say I was Saturn. I don't know. And I had a really funny voice.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  You always seem like you're having fun.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I enjoy what I do.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
11. EUEugene
  No, genuinely.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Like, every time I, I-
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I mean, otherwise what's the point?
15. TNTrevor Noah
  I've never asked you this, but, like, how do you, how do you, how do you keep finding the fun? How do you keep enjoying it? How do you keep ...
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I, some of it's gratitude.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah?
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I feel grateful to be able to do what I love.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm-hmm.
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, you know, I run a business. I have, um, a beauty company, and I'm a CEO and founder, and I'm day to day in that business.
21. TNTrevor Noah
  But this is like a real company.
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, no, no, like a real-
23. TNTrevor Noah
  No, no, I'm just saying this ... 'Cause you know some people-
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
25. TNTrevor Noah
  ... are founders and CEOs-
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, yeah, of nothing
27. TNTrevor Noah
  ... of ... Yes. And I, I say this with respect to them.
28. EUEugene
  Every time someone says that, there's no respect included.
29. TNTrevor Noah
  This-
30. EUEugene
  'Cause if it was respectful, we wouldn't need to mention the respect.
55:00 – 57:00
Dating When You're a “Whole Planet”
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  um, I just feel grateful. I love, I love it. I love being a human. I love what being an artist and an actor allows me to do as a human, to touch other people's humanity.
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I love being silly. I lo- You know what I mean? Like, I always say to people, um, like, when it comes to dating, one of the things, I'm like, "You can't think that I'm gonna be the prize on your arm and be that thing where in my life I get to fly like an eagle every day and be as big as I wanna be, and as small as I wanna be, and as sexy as I wanna be, and as ... Like, to do all this, and then I'm just gonna, I'm gonna cook it, like, you know. And don't get me wrong, like, I'm a caretaker, and I'm gonna cook for you, and all those kind of things, but not because you expect it, not because you want it. Like, you-
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Just because that's part of who you are
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... you're not gonna put me in a box and just be a little thing over here. Like, I'm a, I'm a full planet, you know?
6. TNTrevor Noah
  Does that make dating hard?
7. EUEugene
  You're a solar system.
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I don't know. Yeah, I'm a solar system.
9. EUEugene
  Yeah, I don't think-
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
11. EUEugene
  ... you're a planet.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I think I'm a solar system.
13. EUEugene
  Yeah.
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And, um, I don't know that it makes dating hard. Um-
15. EUEugene
  It does.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  You think it does?
17. EUEugene
  100%.
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Why?
19. EUEugene
  I think what you've just explained is what a potential partner sees.
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm.
21. EUEugene
  And-
22. TNTrevor Noah
  Can I, can I tell you that-
23. EUEugene
  What you've just explained is what-
24. TNTrevor Noah
  What you've just ... No, but also what you've said, one of the greatest pieces of advice I got too late in my life-
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm
26. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and, but I wish everyone got, was from Esther Perel.
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm.
28. TNTrevor Noah
  She was a guest on the podcast, and she said the number one thing she would encourage people to do-
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm
30. TNTrevor Noah
  ... is date as friend groups. And I was like, "What do you mean?"
57:00 – 1:03:00
The Best Dating Advice Tracee Ever Heard
1. TNTrevor Noah
  this. Would you like to-
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Come meet
3. TNTrevor Noah
  ... bring some of your friends-
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
5. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and we're gonna hang out." She said you'll be shocked at how quickly you get to know the person. Like, really, really quickly.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That's actually sweet.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  Because the other person can't hide themselves when all their people are around.
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, you can't.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  So you'll, you'll see them. Y- y- like, you might be shy with strangers-
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
11. TNTrevor Noah
  ... but when you're with your friends-
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
13. TNTrevor Noah
  ... you, you really come alive. You might be nice with strangers, and with your friends, the asshole really-
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You're an asshole.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah. And, and that thing, y- you know, to what you're saying now-
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
17. TNTrevor Noah
  ... it reminds me of that idea. I, I, I get what Eugene is saying. Because if somebody meets you as Tracee-
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
19. TNTrevor Noah
  ... in one dimension-
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, yeah, yeah
21. TNTrevor Noah
  ... in one planet of your solar system-
22. EUEugene
  And they have met you.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes.
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm.
25. EUEugene
  From a distance
26. TNTrevor Noah
  ... I can see them, I can see them going-
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
28. TNTrevor Noah
  ... "Oh, this is who she is-
29. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm
30. TNTrevor Noah
  ... all the time."
1:03:00 – 1:05:00
Success Doesn't Guarantee Love
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  big as a city.
2. TNTrevor Noah
  It will be as big as a city.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But it's a boat.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes. You always say boat-
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Hmm
6. TNTrevor Noah
  ... when you have money, and you've grown up in money is the important thing. Yes. When you haven't, you'll say yacht. It's a yacht. So anyway, she's, as she would say, she, she's on boats. I, I was like, "Oh, she vacations on yachts." So, um, we're talking, we're talking, we're talking, and then she said to me, it was really interesting, we were having this conversation, and then she said, "I feel like I'm a failure in life."
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Hmm.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  I was like, "This is strange. You've just told me about the greatest list of accomplishments ever. What do you mean you're, you think, you think you're a failure?" And she said, "Well, I'm 60, 62 years old. I... You know, my kids are amazing, and they love me, and we vacation all the time, and they're great, and they're doing well, and my businesses are doing well, and, like, you know, my friends and my f- like, my, my ventures and everything I touch turns to gold. But, but I just, I can't find the person for me, and, you know, it, it feels like love is a story that I will never, you know, complete, and I feel like a failure, and I..."
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Hmm. That's hard, hard perspective.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, but it was interesting 'cause I said to her, I said, "Maybe it's because it's so clear to me because you're seeing it from the outside." But I found it interesting that she was willing to define her entire life-
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Through that
12. TNTrevor Noah
  ... through one lens alone, when every other metric, and I mean every other, she's in shape, she's healthy-
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But you know I've done speeches about this.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  Really?
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, yeah. But that's societal. She's push- pushing up against a, against a societal norm and a cultural and a patriarchal and misogynistic norm-
16. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh. Okay
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... that is, you, even if you don't know that's what you're fighting against, that's what you're fighting against. Um, and-
18. TNTrevor Noah
  The thing that defines your value as a woman.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  Who wants you?
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, damn.
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And, and, and I, I won't subscribe to it. I don't. My life is wonderful, and it do- and I experience loneliness and all of it, and I want a partner. And I might not find one. I don't know. You know?
24. TNTrevor Noah
  Huh.
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And I'm not gonna make that mean something about me. And I'm not gonna decide
1:05:00 – 1:07:00
“I'm the Chooser”
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  that because I ha- and you know, and then the other thing is, on Girlfriends, I talk about this all the time, but on Girlfriends, for eight years, 173 episodes, I was a successful woman who couldn't find a partner and was waiting to be chosen. And I didn't realize it, but when I left the show, I have spent years, and I talk publicly about it now because I didn't realize how much I had spent years waiting to be chosen. And I started to realize, I'm like, "What the f- I'm the chooser. I can choose my partner, and I can choose. I don't have to sit around being a prize, making a life so that I get chosen. I'm also the person looking for a partner."
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Right.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And society tells women that that's our worth, that having children, and I mean, not everywhere, but that is, that is the-
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah, for the most, no, for the most part
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... yes.
6. TNTrevor Noah
  No, it is. It is, for the most part.
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And, and finding a partner. I mean, and then it's the thing that people ask you all the time, and I'm like, "Oh, my God. Why are we so interested in this?" You know? Um.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  You know what I've noticed, though? It's, it's similar to alcohol.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  People press you until you say you went too far and you've stopped.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  But if you just say, "I'm, I'm not drinking."
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm. So if you- You say, "No, thanks." If you go- People will press you
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  "No, thanks"
14. TNTrevor Noah
  ... "Would you like a drink?" And you go, "I don't drink alcohol." They go like, "Why not?"
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  "Why don't you don't wanna drink?" But if you say, "I stopped," people are like, "Oh, oh."
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."
18. TNTrevor Noah
  "Oh."
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  "It's one of those."
20. TNTrevor Noah
  Same thing with, with your relationship status. Right. If people say, "Are you single? Are you married?" You say, "No." "Never married? You've never been..." "No, you've..." But if you go like, "Yeah, divorce, and I'm..." Then people go-
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No, they, they're like, "Oh, I understand. I understand."
22. TNTrevor Noah
  "We understand. It's okay."
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
24. TNTrevor Noah
  You, you have, okay, okay. You have a past.
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Or here's my favorite. You know, I'm 53. People will be like, for a while there, there was, "Have you ever thought about having children?" "No, never thought about it. I'm so glad you brought it up. Should we talk about it now, you and I?"
26. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  "Should we talk about why? Let's, ooh, let's get into it." ... asking me?
28. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs] I never thought ab-
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Like, I-
30. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm so glad you brought this up, sir
1:07:00 – 1:11:00
The Comedian Tracee Had to Eviscerate
1. TNTrevor Noah
  in the wrong setting.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  [laughs]
3. TNTrevor Noah
  Your brain, 'cause y- you see, that's what I mean, you're the perfect combination.
4. EUEugene
  You fire on all cylinders.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, but like-
6. EUEugene
  [laughs]
7. TNTrevor Noah
  ... she's too smart and too funny to not eviscerate you. Now imagine meeting this person randomly.
8. EUEugene
  [laughs] Out of my depth.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Can I tell you a funny-
10. TNTrevor Noah
  And stepping on the w- wrong landmine, bruh.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
12. TNTrevor Noah
  It's finished, bruh.
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  You're finished.
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And you don't know what happened, and I'm laughing. I'm like [laughs]
16. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
17. EUEugene
  [laughs]
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Can I, can I tell you a really funny story about a famous, a very famous comedian-
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... who came on, I'm, I'm gonna make it as vague as I can so that no one feels out.
21. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm like, "Go, go."
22. EUEugene
  Trevor.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  Who narrowed down this to two people.
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Who came on a show that I, was my show.
25. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, and came and was doing a funny bit, and decided in front of everyone to try and eviscerate me with his comedy.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  Hoo-wee.
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Tried to think that the pretty girl who was the... This was back-
29. TNTrevor Noah
  Ooh
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... in the day. Nobody k- really knew what I was capable of or not. But, you know, when I get pushed into a corner, I-
1:11:00 – 1:17:00
Why Girlfriends Never Got Its Due
1. EUEugene
  Uh, Girlfriends.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  Wh- why didn't Girlfriends get the mainstream acclaim it deserved? I was, I was, I was-
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You think of the time period. Think of what was happening then. So it was '90s, and it was very segregated television at the time.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm.
6. EUEugene
  Was it really?
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, yeah.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  So I'll give you my perspective-
9. EUEugene
  Mm
10. TNTrevor Noah
  ... just so you understand why I'm so confused by this.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Uh.
12. TNTrevor Noah
  In South Africa-
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
14. TNTrevor Noah
  ... Girlfriends was one of the biggest sitcoms-
15. EUEugene
  That was huge
16. TNTrevor Noah
  ... on television.
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Really?
18. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  So in our world, in my world, in fact-
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
21. TNTrevor Noah
  ... when I hear people talk about shows like Friends-
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
23. TNTrevor Noah
  ... I don't say this w- with any, like, disrespect-
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Not disparagingly
25. TNTrevor Noah
  ... Eugene.
26. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm not saying this disparagingly.
28. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
29. TNTrevor Noah
  But I go, "What bullshit are you coming with-
30. EUEugene
  [laughs]
1:17:00 – 1:20:00
Tracee on Finding Joy
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  it came to me. It just felt like a divine moment, and I'm like, I didn't go f- looking for it, and it came to me. And I thought, "Wow, in this chapter of my life," which is such a beautiful chapter, at 53 years old, to experience something that, like, is a dream.
2. EUEugene
  Yeah.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  A dream. My first time on Broadway, a one-person show, a Tony-nominated show that I didn't ask for, and I came in here, and I'm like, "What a, what a treat." Like, "Look at this. H- I'm still working. This is great."
4. TNTrevor Noah
  This explain-
5. EUEugene
  You know-
6. TNTrevor Noah
  No, this explains it now.
7. EUEugene
  The, you sound like how I sound inside whenever I'm doing something.
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Just like, "Oh."
9. TNTrevor Noah
  No, no, no. Like, can I tell-
10. EUEugene
  [laughs]
11. TNTrevor Noah
  You know, you know what's funny is-
12. EUEugene
  Yeah
13. TNTrevor Noah
  ... you have that. O- o- one of the greatest gifts in my life is how Eugene reminds me to do that about, like, um, the world.
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm good at doing that for, like, work things.
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  Strangely enough, I've struggled to do that with the world.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm. I understand that.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  So Eugene is the person who'll go, "Man, do you ever appreciate all these trees that we get on our walk?"
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Aw. Mm.
21. TNTrevor Noah
  And I'm genuinely like-
22. EUEugene
  [laughs]
23. TNTrevor Noah
  I've never actually... Yeah, I mean, the trees. And it's like, Eugene's like, "No, man, look at, yo, bro, look at these trees."
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Go, Eugene. That's really-
25. TNTrevor Noah
  And I'm like, "These tr- okay." He's like, "Yo, look at, I mean, look at the... Wow. Look at that river there."
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I, I am, I am-
27. TNTrevor Noah
  "I can't believe that river just flows like this."
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I am very much that person.
29. EUEugene
  Mm.
30. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, so but you, you have, I would argue, the super combination of us.
1:20:00 – 1:24:00
How Tracee Learned to Trust Herself
1. TNTrevor Noah
  I always think of, like, people like coins-
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  When we're spinning.
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  There are two ways the coin can spin.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  It can be spinning s- almost silently-
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
9. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and, and balanced.
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  And then it can be spinning-
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. Da, da, da, da, da
13. TNTrevor Noah
  ... but, like, in a wobbly. And I go, like, you wanna be your, your ideal spin.
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  But there's also the other side of your spin, which is, like, it's still going, but it's like, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll.
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. Yeah.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  And okay, I hear what you're saying. So your default.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. My default is joy. Um, I ran at a pace of anxiety for many, many years of my life.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm-hmm.
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, and I don't anymore. I mean-
21. TNTrevor Noah
  When did it stop, and what changed it?
22. EUEugene
  I've said this to him the other day.
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  About you or about him?
24. EUEugene
  About myself, yeah.
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, you, you've settled?
26. EUEugene
  Yeah, there was a time-
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  How old are you?
28. EUEugene
  45 this year.
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
30. TNTrevor Noah
  Wait, what, what, what changed?
1:24:00 – 1:27:00
“What Do You Want to Do?”
1. TNTrevor Noah
  really mean it.
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm, mm, mm.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  What would you like, if you have all your agency, what would you like to do?
4. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  And then facilitate it, not, not, not a platitude.
6. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  And then you look at it, like, when you're older, what would you... And then you become an adult. Your work doesn't ask you, "What would you like to do?"
8. EUEugene
  Nope.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  The things you do in life don't ask you, "What would you like to do?" And it's interesting, as you keep moving through life, when you stumble upon it-
11. EUEugene
  Hm
12. TNTrevor Noah
  ... you go, "Oh, this is the first time it was what I wanted to do."
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Not, not where I was pulled.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  No. No.
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Not what I was offered. Not what I-
16. EUEugene
  Or what I'm good at.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  No.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm. Yeah.
19. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah. What do you-
21. EUEugene
  'Cause all talent can be a trap
22. TNTrevor Noah
  ... want to do?
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Talent can be a trap.
24. EUEugene
  Yeah, absolutely.
25. TNTrevor Noah
  Damn, that's, that's true.
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  That's really interesting.
27. EUEugene
  Yeah. When people assume-
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
29. EUEugene
  ... that just because you have it, you must use it.
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
1:27:00 – 1:31:00
Gratitude vs. Compliance
1. EUEugene
  Mm
2. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and tasting and savoring something, going-
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm
4. TNTrevor Noah
  ... "Oh. Oh my God."
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  To be in the actual enjoyment of it.
6. TNTrevor Noah
  That, to me, is gratitude-
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah
8. TNTrevor Noah
  ... is to go, "Wow, what a delici- I'm sorry, where's this from?" You know, it's like, it's that feeling.
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You just said the word compliance, which is really interesting in that context. Gratitude as, I think that's in the politics of gratitude-
10. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... is there's a sense of compliance. It's like it is a, um, a way to be deferential-
12. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... and to say, "Yes, I'm grateful for what you've given me," as opposed to this sense of being, of this is what is mine.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes. Yeah.
15. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  This is what I'm, this is what I'm worth. This is me as a human being. You can... Whatever you're doing out there-
16. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... but this is... And I think that is what's shifted for me, a sense of, um, belonging to myself.
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  A sense of, um, belonging to myself and, and also to my humanity, which I think is something that I've grown into and discovered. And having a sense of that for myself has allowed me, not every in, every moment. I mean, you know, I'm human. Um, but it really has allowed me to be inside my life in a different way that I'm deeply grateful for.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  Mm.
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  See, that's beautiful. That's, that's, that's the way it is. That's, that to me is Tracee Ellis Ross.
23. EUEugene
  Now your friendship makes sense to me.
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  These two?
25. EUEugene
  You two.
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah, these two.
27. EUEugene
  Yeah.
28. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
29. EUEugene
  It makes so much sense.
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
1:31:00 – 1:33:00
Choose Your Friends by How They Make You Feel
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  those things. Because people forget to ask themselves those questions, and they don't check in.
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And then you're, like, in a relationship, and you're like, "Uh, uh, uh, uh." You're like, yeah, well, how did he make you feel on the first date?
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah. The thing I say to people is you, you should never take for granted that every part of you is you.
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
6. TNTrevor Noah
  Right? I, I've, I've always, I, like, I shouldn't have, but I've, like, I fought with a few, like, gurus and monks- Who... I have, man.
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, oh.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  He just said, "I've fought with." Maybe that's what's-
10. TNTrevor Noah
  I have, man
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... going on.
12. TNTrevor Noah
  I have. No, I have.
13. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I'm dead.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  You know me, bro.
15. EUEugene
  Yeah. [laughs]
16. TNTrevor Noah
  You know me too well. Like, 'cause like if I, there's something I don't agree with or I don't understand-
17. EUEugene
  You will say
18. TNTrevor Noah
  ... or I think it could be like clarified, I, I just, I'll say it.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  And there's like a few gurus and monks who will be like, you know, there's one who was like, he was like, "You are not, you are not nervous. That is not a part of you, that the nerves is an external-"
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I'm gonna throw something at you.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  Then I was like, "Yo, man."
23. EUEugene
  [laughs]
24. TNTrevor Noah
  I was like, "Yo, I don't agree with you." I was like, "No, you are nervous."
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah.
26. TNTrevor Noah
  All of these things are a part of you.
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm-hmm.
28. TNTrevor Noah
  The difference is-
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Mm
30. TNTrevor Noah
  ... there's a state that you are most, not comfortable, but you, you, you're sort of vibrating at your best frequency.
1:33:00 – 1:36:00
What Rihanna Taught Them About Owning Your Power
1. TNTrevor Noah
  way, honestly. But she, she just like, she may have-
2. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  She's real
3. TNTrevor Noah
  ... she may have always had it, but man, you cannot deny that Fenty, like it just-
4. EUEugene
  Mm.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Because what it does is i- i- it's exactly what you said about Pattern. Depending on who you are in life, depending on where you are in life, you may feel like you are always in a position where you are waiting on.
6. EUEugene
  Yes.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  So you're waiting for a train to stop and pick you up, you're waiting for the bus to stop and pick you up. You wait... You're always waiting for the thing. You're always on the platform.
8. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  And then if you're lucky enough, you get to build your own station and you're the one now-
10. EUEugene
  You're the conductor
11. TNTrevor Noah
  ... you're the conductor.
12. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  You're driving, yeah. You know what's interesting-
13. TNTrevor Noah
  You know what I mean?
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... about Rihanna, I mean, I'm... I, I really enjoy her. She's... I just, uh, not, not necessarily personally, but just-
15. EUEugene
  Yeah, yeah
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... but, but I remember when she did the halftime show, I saw something I'd never seen.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  That's what I'm saying, yes.
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Fucking amazing.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, that's what I mean.
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  She was like... I- we had never seen it.
21. TNTrevor Noah
  No.
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  A Black woman-
23. EUEugene
  Mm.
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  .. who at the height that she's at-
25. TNTrevor Noah
  No
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... and who she is-
27. TNTrevor Noah
  No
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... do it in this way of like, "I'm not giving you guys all of me. I'm gonna give you, give you what I wanna give you, and I'm doing this..." I- it was... I don't even know how to describe it.
29. TNTrevor Noah
  You... He- here's, here's what it felt like to me.
30. EUEugene
  Mm-hmm.
1:36:00 – 1:38:00
Tracee's Broadway Routine
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  it's, um, it, that, that Super Bowl moment was something very special for everybody.
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah. No, man. But Tracee, this is like-
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Especially from a Black woman. This is lovely.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  This is you. This is-
5. EUEugene
  You are lovely.
6. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Aw. Come on, one more. Beep boop. Also, when he does it, he goes...
7. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  It's really good.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm channeling all the energy.
10. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Oh, is that what you're doing?
11. TNTrevor Noah
  He, like, focuses it.
12. EUEugene
  [laughs]
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Um, do you have a, do you have a show tonight?
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I do. Yeah, I have a show tonight. Um, we're-
15. TNTrevor Noah
  I don't wanna, I wanna let you... What's your, what's your pre-show routine? I don't wanna like... What's your-
16. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Um, I usually, I like to be there an hour and a half before we open the doors, 'cause I'm in the audience for the door opening. Um, and I do vocal exercises.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  What do you do, lip trills?
18. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I do trills.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Do you do, uh-
20. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I do hums
21. TNTrevor Noah
  ... the hums?
22. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I do ha ha ha's.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  Do you do the, the blowing straw?
24. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  No.
25. TNTrevor Noah
  No, okay.
26. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Nope. I do ha ha ha's. Um, I had two weeks, about 10 days, where I was sick as a dog-
27. TNTrevor Noah
  You're lying, in the middle of the run?
28. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... in Canada, and I had to keep going.
29. TNTrevor Noah
  No.
30. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Let me tell you something.
1:38:00 – 1:40:24
The Importance of Sleep
1. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  you know, I'm a sleeper, so if I get my sleep, then I can do all these things, then I can really be present. You gotta sleep, right?
2. EUEugene
  Got to sleep.
3. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Gotta sleep.
4. EUEugene
  Gotta sleep.
5. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  And my sleep-
6. EUEugene
  Professional sleeper
7. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yeah. And my sleep etiquette-
8. EUEugene
  Got to sleep
9. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... is, like, no joke.
10. EUEugene
  Got to sleep.
11. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I don't fuck around with my sleep.
12. EUEugene
  This guy loves sleeping.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Now, you have good sleep etiquette. I just focus on my sleep, but your etiquette is impeccable.
14. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I do. I have very good sleep etiquette.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  You have sleep etiquette?
16. EUEugene
  Yeah, she does.
17. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  Yes, I do.
18. EUEugene
  Yeah, yeah.
19. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  I, the wind-down.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes.
21. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  The, like-
22. TNTrevor Noah
  No, Tracee's a GA when it comes to this
23. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... no. Otherwise, I can't-
24. TNTrevor Noah
  There's a wind-down?
25. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  There's a wind-down. There's an, you know, no sugar, like, before bed and stuff like that. Like, I just ... And I, the screen goes away. I-
26. TNTrevor Noah
  How long before?
27. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  At least-
28. TNTrevor Noah
  Sleeping, does the screen go away
29. TRTracee Ellis Ross
  ... at least a half an hour, if not more
30. TNTrevor Noah
  'Cause the audience is coming in, and then she has to [laughs]

Episode duration: 1:40:26

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