Trevor Noah Breaks Down the World Cup Chaos ⚽🌍

Trevor and Joe can't agree on English striker Harry Kane, the GOAT debate, or how the offside rule is ruining football. In this week's World Cup bonus episode, the football frenemies clash over Kane's place among the game's greats, debate whether FIFA favors Ronaldo or Messi, and who truly deserves football's GOAT crown, and unpack the dramatic aftermath of South Africa's elimination. They also dive into the struggles of midfield stars like Vitinha and Pedri before giving us their complete Round of 32 predictions. Who’s overrated? Who’s going all the way? And why does the World Cup turn everyone into an expert overnight? Watch the full conversation and join Trevor Noah’s World Cup Watch Party. #WorldCup #TrevorNoah #Football #Soccer #WhatNowPodcast 00:00 - Welcome to the Watch Party 02:14 - Trevor’s World Cup Predictions 08:32 - The Craziest Teams This Year 15:10 - Why Football Drives People Insane 24:45 - Biggest Upsets Coming? 36:20 - The Pressure of Representing a Nation 48:05 - Final Predictions

Trevor NoahhostJoeguest

Jun 30, 20261h 0mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

75 min read · 15,156 words

0:00 – 2:14
Welcome to the Watch Party
1. TNTrevor Noah
  This episode is proudly sponsored by Mazda, Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. Mazda stands for more of what matters most to you. Visit mazdusa.com to learn more. [upbeat music] This is What Now? With Trevor Noah. Welcome to the World Cup, Joe.
2. JOJoe
  Wow. The business end. Win or go home.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  The heartbreak end. That's what you should call it.
4. JOJoe
  Mm-hmm.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Although, to be fair, I say this because South Africa just got knocked out. If we're fair, how many nations are already home?
6. JOJoe
  Oof.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  'Cause what are we, group stage of 32-
8. JOJoe
  Yeah
9. TNTrevor Noah
  ... so-
10. JOJoe
  16 countries are already home.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
12. JOJoe
  South Africa is the 17th.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14. JOJoe
  'Cause it was 48 countries. We're down to 32.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
16. JOJoe
  Mm-hmm.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  It, it, man, it's-
18. JOJoe
  Mm
19. TNTrevor Noah
  ... there's something about... Actually, you know, we were talking about this during the game. Of all the ways to get knocked out, I don't think this is the worst way South Africa experienced it, but it's n- it's one of my least favorites. I hate, I hate losing a game as a sucker punch-
20. JOJoe
  Mm-hmm
21. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and I hate losing a game in the last minutes.
22. JOJoe
  Mm-hmm.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  But I think it could've been worse if we, like, got thrashed in a game.
24. JOJoe
  Yes, yes.
25. TNTrevor Noah
  Do you know what I mean?
26. JOJoe
  It could've been out of the game by the 30th minute.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah. Those are the worst.
28. JOJoe
  You know-
29. TNTrevor Noah
  Those are the worst
30. JOJoe
  ... they go, they go two-nil up, and now all of a sudden you've lost. So, but the thing is, the thing about the World Cup is, or the thing about any knockout competition is there's no right way.
2:14 – 8:32
Trevor’s World Cup Predictions
1. TNTrevor Noah
  the highs are very high-
2. JOJoe
  And the lows
3. TNTrevor Noah
  ... and the lows, the lows will crush you.
4. JOJoe
  Are very low, yes. But the thing is, that's i- that's a proper analogy. And then it just keeps ... You know when you go, like, just y- what's, yeah, The Sopranos or Godfather.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, yeah, every time.
6. JOJoe
  Just when I thought I was out-
7. TNTrevor Noah
  They pull me back
8. JOJoe
  ... they pull me back in. It always does that, 'cause yeah, you always go hoping this is our time, this is our time, and-
9. TNTrevor Noah
  Right
10. JOJoe
  ... yes. And then the, the thing is the highs can never be matched. I actually compare it to a reality TV show that's not scripted.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  It does have all the same elements.
12. JOJoe
  The same elements.
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, it has all the exact same elements.
14. JOJoe
  The dramatic highs, the dramatic lows-
15. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
16. JOJoe
  ... the tension. It just, the good, the b- the thing that makes it way better than Love Island or R- Love Island or maybe Real Housewives is it's not scripted.
17. TNTrevor Noah
  100% not scripted.
18. JOJoe
  So you don't know what's going to happen, and then that happens.
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Although, although, although, although this tournament-
20. JOJoe
  Mm
21. TNTrevor Noah
  ... has a lot of people feeling like it's scripted.
22. JOJoe
  A lot of Cristiano Ronaldo fans.
23. TNTrevor Noah
  I mean, I'm, I mean, I'm sure-
24. JOJoe
  [laughs]
25. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's not run away from it.
26. JOJoe
  [laughs] Yes.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  Let's, let's, let's, let's deal with the elephant in the room-
28. JOJoe
  Okay
29. TNTrevor Noah
  ... so you and I can continue on our friendship.
30. JOJoe
  Okay, okay. [laughs]
8:32 – 15:10
The Craziest Teams This Year
1. JOJoe
  They knock out Argentina
2. TNTrevor Noah
  ... Cape Verde-
3. JOJoe
  Mm
4. TNTrevor Noah
  ... knocks out Argentina, there is no fathomable emotion that can fully describe-
5. JOJoe
  Describe, yes [laughs] what that small, yes, mm
6. TNTrevor Noah
  ... what that team and that island and football fans around the world will be experiencing.
7. JOJoe
  The Blue Sharks. No, but I'll tell you one thing. I think there's one big winner.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  They've won already.
9. JOJoe
  No, I think there's one bigger winner than Cape Verde.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  Who?
11. JOJoe
  And that's me. 'Cause I was the only person outside of Cape Verde-
12. TNTrevor Noah
  You did say
13. JOJoe
  ... to actually back Cape Verde.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  You did say.
15. JOJoe
  I did say they would make the quarterfinals.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  No, you did say.
17. JOJoe
  Now, I didn't know that they would run into Argentina.
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, but you did say-
19. JOJoe
  But I thought if they had won-
20. TNTrevor Noah
  ... okay, but what, what was it, what was it about them that you were seeing?
21. JOJoe
  No, 'cause I watched them in the Nations Cup. I watched, funny enough, I watched them in the Nations Cup. They are strong, resilient, very well-drilled side. Do you know who knocked them out of the Nations Cup? They were killing everyone. Guess who knocked them out? Ronwen Williams. He saved three penalties.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  South Africa. Yeah, saved the penalties.
23. JOJoe
  He had to save three penalties. And so from then I started following them. They qualified top of their group in Africa, and I went like, "This team, the way they're organized, the way they are well-drilled, the way they work together, they don't have a star player per se," I went like, "This team is going to go far." And I said, "Cape Verde, I tip them for the quarterfinals." Now, I didn't know that they would run into, unfortunately, Lionel Messi. And it, you'd be a mad man to bet against Lionel Messi. But for me, Cape Verde makes it, I'm happy. Argentina-
24. TNTrevor Noah
  You know, when you say you'd be, you'd be a mad man-
25. JOJoe
  Hmm?
26. TNTrevor Noah
  I mean, like, yo, Messi, man. I'm sure you've seen there's a huge beef on the internet right now between Messi fans and Ronaldo fans.
27. JOJoe
  There's always been a... Yeah.
28. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, but this right now-
29. JOJoe
  Yes
30. TNTrevor Noah
  ... it's like this is fever pitch.
15:10 – 24:45
Why Football Drives People Insane
1. JOJoe
  25 World Cup matches. Do you know how many matches he has gone scoreless? 18. This is supposed to be the-
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Wait, wait, wait. I mean, the, but then if we're looking at those numbers, that means that Ronaldo's actually overperforming in this World Cup already.
3. JOJoe
  He has, he has. He has.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
5. JOJoe
  'Cause Ronaldo's, uh, goal average-
6. TNTrevor Noah
  Average is, like, one-point-something then
7. JOJoe
  ... one-point-three.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
9. JOJoe
  The two goals against, against Uzbekistan, he's already overperformed.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  So he's getting better as a player.
11. JOJoe
  No, no, no. No, so he has-
12. TNTrevor Noah
  He's getting better then
13. JOJoe
  ... so he has reached the peak.
14. TNTrevor Noah
  [laughs]
15. JOJoe
  He can't score anymore. And remember, as I'm saying, he has never scored a knockout goal in the World Cup.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  Oh, man. That's funny.
17. JOJoe
  We are now in the knockout rounds. Is he going to start scoring now? No. So then Ronaldo fans will say, "But Joe." Another thing I said that seemed controversial was-
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
19. JOJoe
  ... I said Ronaldo, Portugal should have moved on from Ronaldo in 2016, and they called me a madman. Why? Because they said, "Oh, but he helped. He scored." Okay, so two things. They said, one, "But he helped them win the Nations League." No one cares about the Nations League.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
21. JOJoe
  It's a glorified friendly.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23. JOJoe
  No one cares.
24. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
25. JOJoe
  Then some people say, "Oh, but he helped them win the Euros." I'll say, "No, he didn't." Eder-
26. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
27. JOJoe
  ... won the Euros-
28. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah
29. JOJoe
  ... by scoring a goal. Ronaldo was limping helplessly on the sideline when he scored against-- Ronaldo was off, off the pitch for 65 minutes.
30. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
24:45 – 36:20
Biggest Upsets Coming?
1. JOJoe
  Jordan or LeBron James.
2. TNTrevor Noah
  Fine. I'm gonna issue you a challenge.
3. JOJoe
  Okay.
4. TNTrevor Noah
  You're not allowed to say the words Messi.
5. JOJoe
  Okay.
6. TNTrevor Noah
  You're not allowed to say the words Harry Kane.
7. JOJoe
  Ah, now we can't have a conversation.
8. TNTrevor Noah
  Ah, you see?
9. JOJoe
  Okay.
10. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm taking, I'm taking all your merchants here.
11. JOJoe
  Let's talk about Declan Rice. Okay, let's talk about Declan Rice. [laughs]
12. TNTrevor Noah
  You're a Messi merchant. That's all you are. Let's have a conversation-
13. JOJoe
  Okay
14. TNTrevor Noah
  ... about Vitinha.
15. JOJoe
  Yes.
16. TNTrevor Noah
  What's going on with Vitinha?
17. JOJoe
  Vitinha-
18. TNTrevor Noah
  Wait, wait, wait.
19. JOJoe
  Mm-hmm.
20. TNTrevor Noah
  I'm gonna break down why we're talking about this.
21. JOJoe
  Mm-hmm.
22. TNTrevor Noah
  Vitinha has been considered one of the best midfielders in the game of football over the past few years.
23. JOJoe
  Yes.
24. TNTrevor Noah
  Playing for PSG, the man has won multiple-
25. JOJoe
  Winning the Champions
26. TNTrevor Noah
  ... Champions League.
27. JOJoe
  Mm.
28. TNTrevor Noah
  He's won multiple LaLigas.
29. JOJoe
  Mm.
30. TNTrevor Noah
  He's been viewed at, as one of the most potent and dynamic players-
36:20 – 48:05
The Pressure of Representing a Nation
1. TNTrevor Noah
  chosen you to go through-
2. JOJoe
  Yes
3. TNTrevor Noah
  ... I do think it's one of the curses.
4. JOJoe
  Mm.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Like, look at how Team USA has performed, because they were not-
6. JOJoe
  Yes. There were no h- yeah. Yes, yes
7. TNTrevor Noah
  ... they were not the anointed ones.
8. JOJoe
  Yes.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  Look at how even South Africa performed.
10. JOJoe
  You have less pressure. Yes. Mm.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  Look at how, um-
12. JOJoe
  Cape Verde and, yes
13. TNTrevor Noah
  ... Cap- yeah, but those are, like, small. They were always, like, the-
14. JOJoe
  Mm
15. TNTrevor Noah
  ... I'm talking about, like, the middling teams-
16. JOJoe
  Mm
17. TNTrevor Noah
  ... have sort of done better-
18. JOJoe
  Mm
19. TNTrevor Noah
  ... because they didn't have the ... presumptive pressure on them
20. JOJoe
  The burden of expectation can be too much, yes
21. TNTrevor Noah
  And, and I argue that, you know, um, it's not keeping your eye on the ball until it's in your hands or on your foot.
22. JOJoe
  Okay. In which way? Like-
23. TNTrevor Noah
  You know, great athletes always say-
24. JOJoe
  People. Mm
25. TNTrevor Noah
  ... no matter, no matter the level of game-
26. JOJoe
  Mm
27. TNTrevor Noah
  ... whenever you see an athlete make a mistake-
28. JOJoe
  They took their eye, yes
29. TNTrevor Noah
  ... nine- 99 times out of 100-
30. JOJoe
  They took their-
48:05 – 1:00:32
Final Predictions
1. TNTrevor Noah
  people about what's happening in Europe.
2. JOJoe
  Mm.
3. TNTrevor Noah
  You, you, you can't ... I think that's an extra level of, um, pressure.
4. JOJoe
  That a player doesn't need when they're playing at the World Cup, yes. Mm.
5. TNTrevor Noah
  Yes, but it's not even need.
6. JOJoe
  Mm.
7. TNTrevor Noah
  It's just the fairness for me is the issue.
8. JOJoe
  Yes. Some people will say with great power comes great responsibility.
9. TNTrevor Noah
  But the greatest of the powers don't have any responsibility.
10. JOJoe
  Yes. Yes. I understand it's selective. I would say, uh, if I'm Iranian, the reason I feel it's unfair is because people are never, especially like sportsmen, and, and I understand why people are like, "Oh, but they need to speak out." But people are never representative of their governments. There are people on the Iranian team who love the IRGC.
11. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
12. JOJoe
  There are people who don't like the IRGC. The same with upon the American team who love Trump-
13. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah
14. JOJoe
  ... and people who can't stand Trump.
15. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
16. JOJoe
  So it's, uh, when you reduce people to their government, 'cause actually most times people go like, "No, the government sucks."
17. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18. JOJoe
  Most people everywhere go like, "Our government sucks."
19. TNTrevor Noah
  Yeah.
20. JOJoe
  But we as people, which is why sometimes people go like, "Oh, that's, I think they don't want us to, to meet," because when people meet, they realize, "Oh, the one thing we have in common is we all think our government sucks."
21. TNTrevor Noah
  We all hate our- [laughs]
22. JOJoe
  So it's very funny because-
23. TNTrevor Noah
  I mean, that's happened-
24. JOJoe
  Yes
25. TNTrevor Noah
  ... that's happened, like, this, this, this whole World Cup
26. JOJoe
  Yeah, this whole World Cup.
27. TNTrevor Noah
  Like-
28. JOJoe
  Everybody's going like, "Yeah, our government, oh, you..."
29. TNTrevor Noah
  There are so many Europeans-
30. JOJoe
  Yes

Episode duration: 1:00:33

Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript

Transcript of episode eG7T3K-mP-w

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.

iOS

Android

Claude

Chrome