How to Speak Clearly & With Confidence | Matt Abrahams

Do you ever recommend people memorize speeches?

Never. The reason memorizing is so bad is it burdens your cognitive load. You've created the right way to say it and you're constantly comparing what you wanted to say to what you're actually saying. So, having a roadmap, having a structure, having some familiarity with some ideas are important. If there's certain words that you really want to get across or certain data, have a note card, read it. I'd rather you do that than put the cognitive burden on yourself of memorizing.

Several people asked about how best to communicate with people who are not very good at communicating.

I would encourage people to lead with questions. Draw the other person out. Often, if you can get them talking about something that's important to them or connected to what you want, then you can engage in that conversation. So again, it's pre-work, it's thinking about what's of value. Lead with questions, and then as soon as the person responds, give them space to tell more. My mother-in-law had a black belt in small talk. She was amazing. Uh, she was from the Midwest. Every time she'd fly out to visit, she'd come off the plane with three new best friends. And her secret, and you mentioned this earlier, were three words: "Tell me more." Once somebody answers a question, give them that space to say more, and that really draws them out and gives you some ideas of what's important to them so you can latch on and talk about it more. So, lead with questions, give space for more communication. That's how you draw somebody who might be reticent or not comfortable speaking.

Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life. I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. My guest today is Matt Abrahams from Stanford Graduate School of Business. Matt is an expert in speaking and communication on stage, online, in person, and in all circumstances. During today's episode, we discuss how to become a better communicator. Everything from protocols that work to eliminate ums, how to deal with on-stage fright, how to practice speaking more clearly, and equally important, how to remember important facts and synthesize information that you learn from others. Humans are extremely visual and we are extremely verbal, and what we hear sticks with us, and how things are said matters tremendously too. We all register people's levels of confidence or anxiety when they speak, and that determines what we remember and what we forget, and also what we remember and forget about them. During today's episode, Matt explains tools that have been proven to work that you can practice alone or that you can use in real time to improve your communication skills. He also explains what it really means to communicate authentically. We hear about authenticity all the time, but Matt makes clear exactly what that is, how to tap into it, and how to deliver information in your own unique voice. He also offers great tools for when things go wrong and how to recover from those situations with grace. Matt Abrahams is considered one of the foremost experts in communication, and I'm sure that everyone, women, men, young and old, will benefit from what he teaches today. Before we begin, I'd like to emphasize that this podcast is separate from my teaching and research roles at Stanford. It is, however, part of my desire and effort to bring zero cost to consumer information about science and science-related tools to the general public. In keeping with that theme, today's episode does include sponsors. And now for my discussion with Matt Abrahams. Matt Abrahams, welcome.