How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast
Mel Robbins (host), Janine Driver (guest), Narrator
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Janine Driver, How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast explores fBI-Trained Expert Reveals Body Language Secrets For Influence, Truth Mel Robbins interviews body language expert Janine Driver, who shares how trauma, law-enforcement work, and media experience led her to decode nonverbal cues for the FBI, CIA, and major networks.
FBI-Trained Expert Reveals Body Language Secrets For Influence, Truth
Mel Robbins interviews body language expert Janine Driver, who shares how trauma, law-enforcement work, and media experience led her to decode nonverbal cues for the FBI, CIA, and major networks.
Driver explains how body language reveals stress, deception, confidence, and attraction before our conscious thoughts do, and how anyone can learn to read and use these signals.
They cover specific tells of uncertainty and possible lying (like shoulder shrugs, eye blocking, lip disappears, and self-soothing touches), plus high-confidence moves such as steepling, chin grabs, posture shifts, and belly-button orientation.
Beyond lie detection, the episode focuses on empowerment: changing self-talk, planting positive “seeds,” assigning better traits to ourselves and others, and using simple physical cues to increase influence, protect ourselves, and improve relationships.
Key Takeaways
Shrugs and high-level self-touch often signal hidden uncertainty.
A shoulder, hand, or mouth shrug paired with a firm verbal ‘yes’ usually means there’s a nonverbal ‘maybe’—they’re not necessarily lying, but they’re uncertain or withholding something. ...
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Eye blocking and lip disappearance can reveal internal conflict or stress.
Covering or breaking eye contact under stress (“eye blocking”) and making lips vanish or roll inward often indicate the person doesn’t like what they’re seeing or saying. ...
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Use steepling and posture to project calm authority without saying a word.
Lightly touching fingertips together (steepling) and lifting your chest so an imaginary laser points where the wall meets the ceiling makes you appear more confident and in control. ...
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Belly-button direction (“navel intelligence”) reveals real interest and alliance.
We unconsciously aim our belly buttons at people we like, trust, or feel drawn to, and angle them away when we want out. ...
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Prime for truth and integrity instead of threatening against lying.
Saying, “Whatever you do, don’t lie” actually primes lying; instead use embedded commands and trait assignment: “I’m going to ask a few questions, and whether you tell me the truth or you don’t… tell me the truth, I already know more than you think. ...
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Change your language to plant the outcomes you want, not what you fear.
Driver stresses saying what you want (“Hands off,” “Stay in the living room”) rather than what you don’t want (“Don’t run,” “Don’t touch that”), because the brain often skips the ‘don’t. ...
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Reframe criticism and setbacks as “Good to Know” data points.
Borrowing from Andrea Quinn, Driver treats harsh feedback and painful revelations as “good to knows” instead of identity-shattering judgments, which lets her adjust without spiraling. ...
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Notable Quotes
“People get what they grow. You grow what you plant.”
— Janine Driver
“When we don’t like what we see or hear, our lips disappear.”
— Janine Driver
“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be effective?”
— Janine Driver
“The bees are not flying around trying to convince the flies that honey tastes better than shit.”
— Janine Driver
“I believe in comebacks because I’ve experienced them.”
— Janine Driver
Questions Answered in This Episode
How can I build a daily practice of noticing body-language ‘hotspots’ without becoming hyper-paranoid or reading too much into every gesture?
Mel Robbins interviews body language expert Janine Driver, who shares how trauma, law-enforcement work, and media experience led her to decode nonverbal cues for the FBI, CIA, and major networks.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Which of my own nonverbal habits (shrugs, eye breaks, posture) might be undermining my confidence and credibility at work or in relationships?
Driver explains how body language reveals stress, deception, confidence, and attraction before our conscious thoughts do, and how anyone can learn to read and use these signals.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
How could I redesign difficult conversations—with my partner, kids, or team—using priming and trait assignment instead of threats or accusations?
They cover specific tells of uncertainty and possible lying (like shoulder shrugs, eye blocking, lip disappears, and self-soothing touches), plus high-confidence moves such as steepling, chin grabs, posture shifts, and belly-button orientation.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
What would change in my life if I treated every rejection, criticism, or failed attempt simply as a ‘good to know’ instead of a verdict on my worth?
Beyond lie detection, the episode focuses on empowerment: changing self-talk, planting positive “seeds,” assigning better traits to ourselves and others, and using simple physical cues to increase influence, protect ourselves, and improve relationships.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
If my thoughts and words are the ‘seeds’ and my body language is the ‘trunk,’ what beliefs (roots) do I most need to change to grow the life I actually want?
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Transcript Preview
(ticking sound) (instrumental music plays) I am really excited to introduce you to a woman that I met over a decade ago. She has spent over two decades decoding body language, trained by the FBI and the CIA. She has studied the biggest murderers on the planet in history. This is also an episode about empowerment. There are simple things that you can learn to do to gain more influence, to be more persuasive, and to exude confidence. We're gonna go true crime, murderers, and job interviews all in one episode. I can't wait for this. (instrumental music plays) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Today, I am really excited to introduce you to a woman that I met over a decade ago who is one of the world's leading experts in decoding body language. So, for all you true crime junkies out there, you better buckle up, because you're about to get a master class from a woman who's not only hilarious, she's also so incredibly smart. She has spent over two decades decoding body language, trained by the FBI and the CIA. She has studied the biggest murderers on the planet in history. She can tell you what a shoulder shrug, or a lip lock, or a chin grab means. She can tell you how to decode the body language of somebody that you're dating, of the person you're working for. She can even help you understand the signaling that your kids are giving you, that they don't mean to give you when they're hiding information. But this goes way beyond decoding lies and deception. This is also an episode about empowerment, because there are simple things that you can learn to do in meetings, in interviews, on dates, with your family, to gain more influence, to be more persuasive, and to exude confidence. According to Janeen, you have untapped potential that is hiding right in plain sight, and today, she is going to pull back the curtain and she's gonna show you the secrets to increase your influence and spot deception when it rises around you. Are you ready? We're gonna go true crime, murderers, and job interviews all in one episode. I can't wait for this. Let's get Janeen on. (gasps) Ah!
Hi, Mel.
I am so proud of you. You look so fabulous in yellow, and-
(laughs)
... I can't wait to just shout you and your wisdom from the rooftops.
Thank you.
And so we're gonna start at the beginning, since most people don't have the- Most people have seen you on TV. People are fans of true crime, um, these captivating, mind-blowing murder cases that really just capture our attention, and you are the expert that is on speed dial-
(laughs)
... for every major network, to analyze body language. And so while people know you based on your expertise and wisdom that you've shared on some of these landmark cases, they don't really know your background. So, can you explain how on earth did you get into the work that you do? You've been- you've been analyzing murderers for the FBI, the CIA for decades. How did you get into this work?
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