How to Get Unstuck: Do This to Create the Future You Want
Mel Robbins (host), Dr. Adam Alter (guest)
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Dr. Adam Alter, How to Get Unstuck: Do This to Create the Future You Want explores science-Backed Roadmap To Get Unstuck And Unlock Your Potential Mel Robbins and NYU professor Dr. Adam Alter explore why feeling stuck is universal and not a personal failure, and how modern life’s emptiness and repetition contribute to that sense of stagnation.
Science-Backed Roadmap To Get Unstuck And Unlock Your Potential
Mel Robbins and NYU professor Dr. Adam Alter explore why feeling stuck is universal and not a personal failure, and how modern life’s emptiness and repetition contribute to that sense of stagnation.
Alter explains two main types of stuckness—clear-goal stuck (knowing what you want but not progressing) and diffuse stuck (general blah/meaninglessness)—and argues that both can be addressed with a structured process.
Central to his approach are friction audits (identifying and reducing what drags you down), setting meaningful but arbitrary goals to restore a sense of agency, and taking minimally viable actions to build momentum.
They also discuss how to use life transitions, experimentation, failure, and the right mix of people around you to create breakthroughs in careers, relationships, health, and overall direction.
Key Takeaways
Feeling stuck is universal, not a personal defect.
Alter’s research shows virtually everyone reports being stuck in at least one area; recognizing this normalizes the experience, reduces shame, and frees up energy to take action instead of ruminating on “why me.”
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Do a friction audit to locate what’s really holding you back.
Systematically list the people, tasks, and situations that create the most resistance, resentment, or dread, then decide which to eliminate, delegate, or accept—focusing on raising your “lows” has more impact than adding more highs.
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Set a meaningful, concrete goal to shift from victimhood to agency.
Choosing a goal—athletic, intellectual, or creative—signals to yourself that you can move toward something; the specific goal matters less than what it proves about your ability to commit, progress, and achieve.
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Use minimally viable actions to overcome inertia.
Instead of waiting to feel ready for big moves, define the smallest, low-pressure step in the right direction (e. ...
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Treat stuck phases as experiments, not verdicts on your worth.
Explore multiple options deliberately—sample different jobs, workouts, skills, or approaches—before drilling down on one; cycling between exploration and exploitation prevents paralysis and leads to better long-term fits.
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Reframe failure as data that guides your next move.
“Good failures” teach you what works, what doesn’t, or what you shouldn’t pursue; asking, “What did this failure show me about the next best step? ...
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Curate a ‘brain trust’ of three kinds of people to help you.
Seek input from those similar to you (who ‘get’ you), those with very different backgrounds (who expand options), and a “black sheep” who challenges your assumptions; this mix yields better ideas and disrupts stuck thinking.
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Notable Quotes
“Getting stuck and being stuck is universal. It's part of what it is to be human.”
— Dr. Adam Alter
“We are often as good as the worst stuff that's going on.”
— Dr. Adam Alter
“The single best thing you can do if you feel stuck is to take a minimally viable action.”
— Dr. Adam Alter
“All those things that are causing friction are what are keeping you stuck, but you're not doing anything about it.”
— Mel Robbins
“You cannot do both at the same time. You can’t both be exploring all your options and really drilling deep into one thing.”
— Dr. Adam Alter
Questions Answered in This Episode
If I did a brutally honest friction audit today, what would be the top three items on my list—and what small step could I take this week to reduce each one?
Mel Robbins and NYU professor Dr. ...
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Am I currently in an exploration phase (trying options) or an exploitation phase (doubling down on one path), and is that actually the phase I need to be in?
Alter explains two main types of stuckness—clear-goal stuck (knowing what you want but not progressing) and diffuse stuck (general blah/meaninglessness)—and argues that both can be addressed with a structured process.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
What is one modest, personally meaningful goal I could set right now that would signal I’m not a victim of my circumstances?
Central to his approach are friction audits (identifying and reducing what drags you down), setting meaningful but arbitrary goals to restore a sense of agency, and taking minimally viable actions to build momentum.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
How could I redefine a recent “failure” as a good failure by articulating exactly what it taught me about my next step?
They also discuss how to use life transitions, experimentation, failure, and the right mix of people around you to create breakthroughs in careers, relationships, health, and overall direction.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Who are the three people—similar, different, and black sheep—I could intentionally consult to get new perspectives on where I feel most stuck?
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Transcript Preview
I'm ready to have a breakthrough.
I'm ready to help you have a breakthrough.
Why is this feeling, that you haven't reached your full potential, you know, we kind of say we're stuck, why is it so common?
The way life is structured for us today, there is a lot of emptiness. A lot of what we spend our time doing does not build on the other moments we spend so that we're building towards something that feels meaningful, that is substantial. The problem with being stuck is it feels very personal, it feels very uncomfortable, and it feels like it's a bit of a mess. But it turns out we're all stuck in some respect.
What is the first step, Dr. Alta, to getting unstuck?
The first one is to f-
Hey, it's your friend Mel. You know, every once in a while, you need someone to roll on up beside you, tap you on the shoulder, and remind you that there is so much untapped potential inside of you. You know, I- I don't think you even realize what you're capable of. And so, I'm gonna start off by dedicating this episode to you and to the potential that is lying dormant inside of you, because that's gonna end today. We're gonna tap into that potential. And look, if you're already at a point in your life you're like, "I have achieved so much s-success, Mel. I surprise myself. That's how I feel about myself," guess what? This conversation, still gonna ignite a breakthrough. Because regardless of what you've accomplished, you have not reached what you're capable of yet. Neither have I. Or if you're listening right now and you're like, "Ugh, I feel blah, unmotivated and unproductive," boy have I been there so many times in my life. I have been so sick of my excuses, but I had no idea what to do about it. Here's the thing, after today you are gonna know what to do about it because you already know that you have this extraordinary potential. That's why you're frustrated. The issue is that you don't know how to unleash it. Well, that's gonna change today because one of the world's most respected researchers and professors at NYU is in the house today, and you will leave this conversation with a three-step roadmap that makes leveling up your life easier than you think. Dr. Adam Alta, welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.
Thank you for having me.
I'm ready to have a breakthrough.
Good. I'm ready to help you have a breakthrough.
Okay, great. So, you've just spent all this time researching the anatomy of a breakthrough.
Mm-hmm.
And so there's actually a whole process that you can break down for us?
Yeah, so, you know, I think the problem with being stuck is it feels very personal, it feels very uncomfortable, and it feels like it's a bit of a mess.
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