2 Ways to Take Your Power Back When You Feel Insecure | The Mel Robbins Podcast

(ticking sound) (intro music) I am so excited to talk to you today, because there is something unfolding in real time with one of our daughters who lives out in Los Angeles, and she's 21 years old. She's sitting in a class, texting me, and it is an issue that I know that you can relate to or someone in your life is going through this right now. She is literally blowing up my phone with texts because she doesn't know what to do. What is the topic? (sigh) Wow. Well, the topic is this: what do you do when somebody that you have been hooking up with and had a huge crush on suddenly starts having a crush on one of your friends? That's what's going down in real time. I've got text messages. When she gets out of class, I am gonna try to track her down and get her to unpack this with you and me in real time live. And, um, before I jump into the text messages and we get into this topic of being in the middle of an emotional tsunami where you find yourself starting to lose yourself, and you are trying so hard to get your own power back as you've been blindsided by somebody that you like liking somebody else, before we get into that, I just want to take a minute, thank you. I mean, your feedback about just the handful of episodes that we have put out so far on the Mel Robbins Podcast has blown me away. This is a brand new show, we are a small show, and we are becoming a mighty show because of you. And I wanted to do this podcast, I said in the very beginning, because I wanted to share my life in a more intimate and real time way with you, in a way that I can't do in audiobooks and on YouTube, or in the short form content that you see on social media. I wanted to go deeper into the everyday stuff that knocks us on our ass, or that, uh, gives us hope and inspiration. And, um, every time you share an episode or I see you posting them and sharing them, uh, on your social media pages, you are helping to create a ripple effect of change. So many of us want to make a difference in the world, and if you hear something on this show that moves you, that inspires you, that empowers you, that makes you laugh, that makes you feel a little bit less alone, and you share it with somebody else, you are part of a force for good and for fun. And so, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support, for giving me your most precious commodity, which is your time and your trust. And together, we are gonna do incredible things, and we are just getting started. Now, that said, so many of you are also blowing up my DMs on Instagram, and comments on TikTok, and the comments on YouTube and Messenger and on Facebook, and hitting the inbox. So, I want to tell you something. I want you to help me program this show, and so please, if you got ideas, if when you listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast you're like, "Oh my gosh, I got an idea for Mel," please go to melrobbins.com/podcast. That's right, go to my website, melrobbins.com/podcast, and right there you will see that there are two forms that we have created just for you. One of the forms is a form for you to recommend an expert, an author, a friend, somebody that you would love for me, Mel Robbins, to dig deeper with, uh, on some subject that you care about. That's form number one. Form number two is topics, baby. Give me your topics, whether it's a problem you're facing and you need advice, or there's something that you just wish that we would take our secret sauce of entertaining, unpacking, uh, advice and go to work researching this topic for you and bringing you the most entertaining, science-backed, and relatable way to approach the things that you're dealing with. So that said, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you. I believe in you. I love, uh, having your partnership and support. It means everything to me, and it provides so much motivation for our team to go even deeper, get more creative, and keep showing up for you. So, I love you. Thank you. All right, now, (laughs) let's get into this topic, okay? So, I am in Salt Lake City, and I'm about to give a speech, and as I landed, uh, here in Salt Lake City, my phone, when it came back online, started to blow up, and it was text messages from our daughter who is a senior in college. Her name is Kendall, and, um, she is a music student, and she aspires to be a singer-songwriter. And that piece of information is important, because it relates to the heartbreak, the confusion, and the entanglement issues she is going through. So, what is the issue? The issue is she, uh, was really interested in, uh, somebody in her program, and they were collaborating as musicians, they were hooking up, they had a really fun relationship, they really cared about each other, and as these things do, it kind of fizzled out. And recently, there has been a new friend that has come into her life that's also a musician that has been extremely helpful in collaboration, and, uh, Ken's all excited, and in fact, a week ago, she called me and said, "You're never gonna believe this. I met the coolest woman." She wants to do sessions together, she wants to work on music together. "I feel so energized." And now, Kendall's texting me, because she found out a piece of information yesterday-... and it has rocked her world. So let me find... Of course, I do not have this teed up for you. Uh, you can tell this is real time, because I'm like, "Oh my God, I did not, I did not actually prepare," because this is unfold- Oh, here she goes. Okay, found it. So at 11:43 AM, my daughter texts me and says, "Mom, I gotta call you later. I found out some tea, and I'm hashtag sad." And then I said, "Let me guess. Brendan has a girlfriend, that's her high school sweetheart who they've both committed to marrying each other if they're both single, still in their 30s. Is that it? Tell me the tea. I just got off a plane." She says, "No. Ha ha ha ha ha. Remember how I told you my friend wants to help me book sessions and do management stuff?" "Yep." "And come on, you are a tease when it comes to this kind of stuff. Lay it on me." "Sorry, I'm in class." Basically, it's a long story, but she now has a crush on... I'm gonna make up a name, 'cause I don't, um, want to disclose their names. Uh, she has a crush on... What name should we use, everybody?