These 4 Words Will Silence Your Self-Doubt: A Life-Changing Conversation | The Mel Robbins Podcast

(ticking clock) (upbeat music) First of all, every human being struggles with moments of imposter syndrome, where you enter a situation, and in your own mind, you start doubting yourself, and you start feeling worried that people are gonna find out that you have no idea what you're talking about. The situation that you found yourself in on Friday morning, just a few days ago, is not only so relatable, and I know that you have a lot of value to share. Why don't we unpack this moment where your imposter syndrome got triggered? (upbeat music) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Today, we are gonna get right into it, we're gonna talk about imposter syndrome. And the reason why I wanted to talk about this is because our daughter, Kendall, who is 23 years old, just had a situation this weekend that triggered imposter syndrome, and I thought, "Why don't we unpack this moment where your imposter syndrome got triggered?" And then more importantly, the incredible things that you shared with me that helped you turn it around. So, ladies and gentlemen, everybody who's listening, Kendall Robbins.

Hey, everybody.

All right. So, tell us what happened.

Okay. So, this past weekend, I had my first experience as an artist in the real artist world, is what I'm gonna call it.

What does artist mean?

I am pursuing a career as a professional recording and touring artist, and I'm a singer-songwriter. I've started to write my own music. I'm moving out to LA in a few weeks time, and this past weekend was my first experience surrounded by people that are really successful artists that have- are doing the thing that I wanna do. Um, and as somebody that's been in school for the past four years, I've had very few experiences like this, and so this past weekend was my first few days fully existing in that world without the label of a student on my back. I didn't have that sort of shadow to hide in anymore.

Mm-hmm.

I was feeling embarrassed, I was feeling awkward, I was feeling like an imposter, like I don't belong because I don't have music out, and I don't have f- fans, and I don't have a social media following, but I was just me.

Okay. Well, let's just back the truck up a minute. So let's just set the table. First of all, every human being struggles with moments of imposter syndrome. I'm looking at the research right here, everybody. (fingers tapping) I've got my research. Psychologists call this fear of being found out imposter syndrome. It was coined in the 1970s by two female researchers. In fact, Harvard Business Review, Kendall, says that executives worldwide agree that their number one fear is being found to be incompetent.

Oh, okay.

So this is a very normal thing for everybody to experience, and it is what is called intellectual self-doubt, where you enter a situation, or you enter a room, or you think about doing something, and in your own mind, you start doubting yourself, you start doubting whether or not you're able to do something, you start doubting whether or not you deserve to be in a certain place, and you start feeling worried that people are gonna find out that you have no idea what you're talking about. And one thing that I will say from the get-go is the reason why I wanted to have you on is because the situation that you found yourself in on Friday morning, just a few days ago, is not only so relatable, but I was pretty impressed by how you coached yourself through it, and turned it around, and had one of the coolest, most affirming weekends of your life, and I know that you have a lot of value to share. So, with that, are you willing-